Quite A Southern Rant

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome guys, y'all to live Southern. You're a guide to
embracing life below the Mason Dixon Line. From Sweet Tea
the Southern manors will help you settle in, soak it up,
and truly live Southern without trying to change what makes
it so special. I was talking earlier about Great France
and Charleston, South Carolina, and I touched on something and

(00:22):
got a little bit of a tangent on that about
when people from certain areas of the country move to
the South, what they should know. So that's the topic
of this podcast, is what people should know when they
move to the South. And I'll tell you what. I'll
go fired up about this too now because I've lived

(00:44):
in the South my whole life, and you want to
piss me off, move your butt to the South and
bring all your crap with you. Seriously, I mean, what
the heck are you doing other than pissing a lot
of people off, you know, I mean, why did you
leave there in the first place. And I know that

(01:04):
if you listen to the other podcasts, some of this
is going to be redundant. But this is the sole
purpose of this podcast is to prepare people who are
leaving a place that they don't want to live and
they want to come move to the South where I
am from, and this is my culture, and this is
where my family is from, all the way back to

(01:27):
great great great grandparents, passed the Civil War, all of
that kind of stuff. So what do you need to know?
Oh number one, I'm sure you're coming here. I'm not
saying you. I'm talking in generality here. Okay, I'm not
saying that you're moving here. I'm saying, but people are
a lot of people are. You know, we're not closed.

(01:51):
I wish sometimes we were closed. But there's a lot
of good people moving in. We got a lot of
great friends that have moved from all over the country.
But let's let's delve into this a little bit. Okay, Hey, honey,
let's take the kids and let's let's go down to Charleston,
South Carolina and visit for a week. Look, we can

(02:13):
stay in this really nice hotel because you know, it's
a lot cheaper than what we have up here. Oh. Look,
we're gonna go all these great restaurants. Honey, Look at
the beach. You know there's the traffic's not that bad.
The people are so nice, did you hear that that
that young man called me sir, and that that guy

(02:34):
just held the door open for you and for both
of us. I mean, the people are so nice. They
look you in the eye and they say hi, and
they'll shake your hand and then they got a firm handgrip.
And I mean, this place is a Look. There are
palm trees all over the place and it's eighty five
degrees outside. Man, people are working going to work, and

(02:58):
they got on shorts and flip flops. What's not to
love about this place? I mean, what is not to love? Look?
Look at these tidal creeks, honey. I mean, my goodness,
this is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.
The marsh oh Man. Sometimes I think I should just
teach them how to jump off a pitt streak bridge

(03:18):
into the pluff mud and guess what, You're gonna get stuck.
You're not coming back up anyway. And I'm just kidding
when I say that kind of stuff, I really am.
I'm not a hater of any particular region of the
United States. I love my country, but the South down
here a little bit different. And I might get into
my southern accent a little bit, So bear with me.

(03:40):
I might come in and out of that, but listen, listen, y'all.
Listen to youse guys. When you decide you're gonna move
your butts and your family's butts down to the South
because you had a great vacation for a week, okay,
well why are you leaving? I mean, I know it's beautiful.
I know the South is beautiful. I know that the

(04:04):
people here are super nice and welcoming. But it's what
I want to know is what is driving you and
droves out of your communities now and generally and generally generally,

(04:25):
generally speaking, people from up north and out west. And
I do call a lot of people from California wack
of doodles. And I'm not seeing anybody out and I'm
not saying that they're all whack of doodles, but there's
got a big share of wack of doodles out in
California and Seattle area and stuff like that. We're getting

(04:47):
some of those people in here, especially on our beautiful islands.
We get a lot of New Yorkers, a lot of
people from New Jersey. That's great. I don't have any
against any anybody any but I want to know. I
want to know why you're leaving where you're leaving, and
it's not just because of the dagon weather. I'm not

(05:07):
buying that for one thinking minute. Okay, it's not just
the weather. There's a lot more things going on where
you live that you're trying to get away from. Why
don't we get into that of politics for one Okay,
I'm not going to go too far into politics. I'm
from the South. We're traditionally a conservative base of people,

(05:28):
and that's worked for us for generations and generations. Where
you're coming from, probably not very conservative, you're probably very liberal.
Not you. I'm talking about the area, maybe the majority
and a lot of left wing Libs, you know, if

(05:49):
you want to call them that. You know that. Why
do you want to leave? Because it's miserable because all
the politics as have put in place, all of these
regulars and all of these laws, and all of these
taxes and all of this tolerances of other things that
don't belong in your community have finally gotten so bad

(06:10):
in the traffic and everything else that goes along with
that has gotten so bad that the only thing you
can think to do is go south. Here we come okay,
all right, I'm with you on that. I got that.
If I were from one of those places, I would
absolutely understand that, and I would want to move down
here too. That's why I have not left the state

(06:34):
of South Carolina since I moved here when I was five.
I love it, and I moved here, and I moved
here from Alabama. So the South to the south Alabama
is the heart of Dixie. Now, what do you need
to know when you move down here? Number one, like
I just said, is that you need to leave your

(06:56):
politics at home, because if you come down here and
you guys, use guys or coming in droves, right, and
guess what you bring in with you? You'll bring the
same politics down here that made up there or over there.
Not a good place to live and not a good
place to bring to start a business, not a good

(07:19):
place to raise your family. All Right, you can't answer
me because I'm telling you I'm right. So leave your
politics there, okay, Broaden your scope and your horizon to
a different culture where that kind of politics don't work. Okay,

(07:42):
it's not going to work here. It didn't work where
you're coming from. So why don't you kind of bring
some of it with you leave it behind, okay, because
you start these voting tendencies, just like what you left,
you're going to end up with the same dag gone
place that you trying to get away from. And it's
gonna be here. The only difference is you're gonna have

(08:04):
warm weather, palm trees, beaches and nice mountains because the
nice people and all the hospitality and all that that's
gonna go away because you're gonna have miserable people. Don't
ruin myself, don't don't. Don't ruin it with bad politics
that don't work. It gets me fired up. Man. I'll

(08:25):
tell you what. I'll tell you something else when you're
driving down here, when you leave where you come in
and you drive into town. But we need a Southern
driving school because I know everybody says you southerns can't drive.
You know what bs on that we can to drive?
You know what? Maybe it's where you're coming from and
the rush that you're always in and the huge amounts

(08:48):
of traffic and that you feel like you always have
to get somewhere in a hurry is the reason why
you think we can't drive. Because we stay in our
own lane, we get we drive in the right lane
and the slow lane. When we're driving slow, we passed
into the left lane. We don't wanter bug in and
out to get two car links ahead. You know, we're pissing.

(09:09):
You're pissing people off when you do that. You're causing
good old Southern boys to get some road rage. And
that's not what you want. And why does it really
make a difference for you to get right up on
my tailgate and then whip around me and then whip
back in front of me, like do that three or

(09:32):
four times until you get to a stoplight. Then you realize, geez,
it's just traffic. You know what, there's traffic, dude, deal
with it. Pick a lane. I mean, occasionally you got to,
you know, you got to pass somebody and go around
or whatever. But I got that because there are some
people that drive too slow. But if if everybody's driving,

(09:55):
if the speed limits fifty miles an hour and everybody's
driving fifty five, there's a lot of traffic. You getting
around me to get behind the next person isn't helping
you at all. It may be causing an accident that
may be hurting somebody. It's what it might be doing
so don't. Don't do it. And again we get back
on the horn thing. Do not, and I mean with

(10:19):
a big ass exclamation point, lay down on your horn
and not let off of it. Like that's not going
to just absolutely piss this and every other Southern boy off.
We'll do that. It'll get you butt kicks. Southern people,

(10:39):
especially young Southern manners, both laid back people, right. We
are laid back. We like to take things easy. We're
not out looking for a fight. We're welcoming. We're full
of hospitality. Really, it's what we are, warm hearted people.
But when you push too far, what you will get

(11:05):
is not a pretty sight. Because most Southern men can
more than take care of themselves. And believe me, most
of us, not me, well, most Southern Southerners, you know,
we're armed, right, We're all about the guns and the
honey and the good old boy stuff and the cameo you know,

(11:27):
and all that kind of stuff. And I'm not saying
anbody's driving around with guns to go get out a
car and shoot you. That's not what I'm saying all
But it's what I'm saying is don't piss us off,
because eventually it will happen, and it does not end well.
If nothing else, you're gonna get embarrassed. You may have
a heart attack because you show dag I'm scared wild
eyed Southern boys. May I'll tell you what they scare

(11:48):
me sometimes, So lay off the dagum horn. Okay. You know,
when you take a vacation back up north where you
came from, you know, take two horns with you and
blow the hell out of them. Don't blow them down here. Okay?
Are we clear on that? God? I hope so, because
that really pisses me off. So you know, we do

(12:16):
hold the door open for people. This is what we do.
We've always done that. It's the right thing to do.
It's a genuinely thing to do. It's shivers and or
you know and all that. Don't get that attitude, ladies
that I can open my own door. You know what.

(12:39):
I know, you can open your own door. Okay, but
this is my place, this is my culture, and this
is what we do. Assimilate into that a little bit.
Let me open that door for you. Look at me
in the eye and say thank you, and see the
smile on my face. You're welcome. Have a great day,
you know, don't pull this what used to be feminism crap. Okay,

(13:04):
that's not born in the south, right, and feminism is
gone now anyway, because no one will fight for the
people that the boys that are playing in women's sports now.
I mean what, there's so many things, and I'm usually
in such a good mood, So don't don't come down

(13:30):
here and go out to dinner or go out to
lunch with some of your friends from the same place
that you're from and start in your loud voices. Right,
you got to talk so daggum loud, right, And I'm
fine with accents because I have an accent. It's you know,
it may not be your accent or the other person's accent,

(13:52):
but I'm fine with different accents. But get down here.
You get a daggum table, You're two feet from each other,
and you're like practically yell on each other. You know
why you yell at each other because you want everybody
around to hear you. Okay, we don't want to hear you.
We don't want to know your dag on business, We
really don't. We don't want. We want you to sit

(14:12):
at that table and enjoy your meal, have a good
conversation and have a good time. And I don't want
to know all about it. But one thing you should
not do, for sure is to sit at that table
and start bad mouth in the Southern way and making
fun of us for this, that and the other. Okay,

(14:34):
because I have seen this happen a couple of times.
One time was really bad, to the point where I
was in a pool with my wife and my kids
were there, and these people wanted everyone to hear their

(14:54):
business right of how much they thought Southerners were stupid
and slow and god knows what else bad drivers, I'm sure,
to the point where I was boiling it was. I'm
a big guy. I'm six one, two hundred and forty
pounds ex football player. I can still bring it. You know,

(15:14):
I might be almost fifty nine years old, but you're
not gonna know about looking at me. And I got
a little temper on me sometimes too. So anyway, these
people are yapping so bad and so loud, bad mouth
in us. And my wife got so mad, I mean,
and she usually doesn't. She wouldn't let me get out
of the pool. She went and handled it, and she

(15:34):
absolutely let them have it. And she's not from the
South originally, she has converted perfectly to being the most gracious, Southern,
beautiful woman you could ever meet. And that's the way
she handled that. She made that table of people feel
so small for the way they were talking about us

(15:55):
that they don't think. I don't think they even finished
their meal. They had to leave good riddings, right, Don't
talk about us like that. We're not We have ears.
We can hear, especially when you're talking at like, you know,
noise pollution decibels, we can hear. So, you know, I'm

(16:16):
just kind of getting start. Come in open minded about
the Southern culture. Right about our food. I mean, the
culinary traditions of the South in particular Charles are absolutely amazing.

(16:40):
Don't bad mouth it because it's got grits. It's not
my fault. You grew up somewhere that didn't have grits.
And yeah, we put shrimp with our grits because it
is dadgum delicious, right, and we put cream sauce with that,
we put spices on that. You know, it's low country
stuff and it is absolutely amazing. Get into the culinary

(17:02):
traditions of the South, and don't try to reinvent the
wheel on that one. I mean, I wish I had
my partner here with me right now because we would
be feeding off of each other and we would just
keep going and going and going and going and going.
And believe everybody in the South. I know this is

(17:22):
being a touchy subject right now, but we were not
racist just because we're from the South. That is the
biggest bologna in cheese. I mean, where do you think
you know Martin Luther King is from He's from the South, right,
I mean all the bigger civil rights movements were born

(17:46):
in the South and embraced in the South and made differences. Okay,
I understand where we came from. Also now we are
I know where we are now. We're not racist just
from the South, so don't think don't think we are.
We're also very open about religion, right, We're not all
Southern Baptists firestone or brims you know, fire and brimstone people. Okay,

(18:11):
We're very open to everyone. We want you to the
bottom line is, despite my first rent here, you know,
if you want to come here, we want you to
come here, but we want you to belong here, okay.
And we don't want to change the South just because
you're here. We want you to fit into the South,
and we want you to fit into our ways that

(18:33):
in most cases go back a long long time, I
mean generations. So on my end, and I'm speaking for
a lot of Southerners, you come here, we will respect you,
but we also want that respect and return. I think
that is more than fair. And we could all have

(18:54):
a great life. We could all build a great community.
We could take the different things that you bring to
the table into the South into our community and we
can learn from that, and we can embrace the things
that work that you bring in, and then you embrace
the things that work for you. This is already in
our society, in our culture, and I think that's a

(19:15):
win win. But you know, to close with this real quick,
leave your dad dumb crap that you wanted to leave
in the first place, back where it came from. Leave
it at your old home. We don't want here. Okay,
I went to your new home. We want it to
be great and spectacular and happy. And you know what,
all my blood pressures up, so I'm going to have

(19:36):
to go. So anyway, if you're traveling down here after this,
you know certainly have a safe, safe trip don't lay
down on your horn. Just remember I am the man
and this is my podcast. I hope y'all have a
great day and God bless y'all.