From Exhaustion to Flourishing: The Choices We Make

The salient point of this discussion revolves around the assertion that the choices we make, both trivial and significant, fundamentally shape our existence and ultimately dictate our capacity to flourish. As I delve into the complexities of life’s overwhelming nature, I invite listeners to contemplate how their own decisions influence their well-being. Through a candid exploration of my personal experiences with exhaustion, I elucidate the importance of recognizing the agency we possess in sculpting our lives. By advocating for a mindful reassessment of our daily choices, I underscore that even minor adjustments can yield profound transformations over time. It is imperative that we embrace the notion that our flourishing is intrinsically linked to the conscious decisions we undertake.

The conversation navigates the profound impact of choice on the quality of life, as articulated by Craig Van Slyke. Central to the discussion is the premise that the choices we make—ranging from our daily routines to our long-term commitments—are pivotal in determining our overall well-being and satisfaction. Van Slyke posits that individuals often overlook their inherent capacity to influence their circumstances through conscious decision-making. This episode serves as a catalyst for reflection, inviting listeners to consider how their choices contribute to or detract from their flourishing.

Van Slyke candidly shares his personal narrative of grappling with fatigue and the realization that his extensive workload is a result of his own choices. He emphasizes the importance of reassessing both minor habits, such as dietary preferences, and larger commitments, such as professional obligations. By doing so, individuals can initiate a journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. The episode concludes with a challenge to the audience, encouraging them to identify a single choice they can modify to align better with their desired way of living, thereby underscoring the theme that flourishing begins with the choices we make.

Takeaways:

• The choices we make, regardless of their size, significantly shape our life experiences and overall flourishing.
• To achieve a more fulfilling life, individuals must recognize and take control of their decision-making processes.
• Recognizing that many aspects of our lives are influenced by our choices can lead to transformative changes.
• Even small, seemingly inconsequential decisions can accumulate and profoundly affect our life paths over time.
• Individuals should reflect on their daily habits and choices, as altering them can lead to substantial improvements in well-being.
• Flourishing is a result of both major and minor choices; thus, one must strive to align choices with desired life outcomes.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Are you feeling overwhelmed by life?
Exhausted?
Frustrated?
The solution might be simplerthan you think.
In this episode of Live welland Flourish, I explore how the choices
you make, both big and small,shape your life and determine your
path to flourishing.
Keep listening to learn abouthow taking control of your decisions

(00:21):
can lead to profound changesin your life and your flourishing.
Welcome to Live well andFlourish, where I help you understand
what it means to live aflourishing life.
I'm your host, Craig Van Slyke.

(00:43):
If you're ready to thinkbeyond material and external success,
if you're ready to takecontrol of who you are and the kind
of life you live, if you'reready to flourish, this is the podcast
for you.
I am exhausted.
So exhausted that I'veactually been contemplating retirement,
which is something I wouldn'thave imagined a few months ago.

(01:04):
I really don't want to retirejust yet, but I need to do something.
Have you ever felt this way?
Like life is just wearing you down?
When I complain of being tiredto my wife, Tracy, she says something
like, of course you're tired.
You work all the time.
She's right.
It's 3:05am As I write this,I'll wrap this up, check some emails,

(01:27):
pay a bill or two, exercise.
Then it's off to work.
After a shower, of course,I'll make it home around 4pm so what's
with all the whining?
Well, I'm venting a littlebit, but not really complaining.
I'm setting up an importantlesson about flourishing.
I'm tired because I work alot, and I work a lot because of
the choices I make.

(01:49):
This podcast is an example.
Producing Live well andFlourish is a choice.
Nobody's forcing me to do this.
In addition to Live well andFlourish, I produce two other podcasts,
Cyberways and AI Goes toCollege and write an average of two
articles a week for my AI Goesto College newsletter.

(02:09):
All of these are choices.
They are not part of myregular job.
Cyberways is affiliated withthe university, but it's not something
that's a required part of my job.
So if I want to work less, Ihave to make different choices.
It's really that simple.
Well, over half of the work Ido is by choice.

(02:30):
Nobody is forcing me to dothis work, especially in the twilight
of my career.
The calculus is really prettysimple if I want to be less tired.
Make different choices.
We often get so caught up indaily life that we forget just how
much control we have over our lives.
Much of life is a series ofchoices, big and small.

(02:52):
These choices determine thepath your life takes the good and
the bad.
Sure, there are random eventsand events that are well beyond your
control, but even withinthese, you have choices.
As Epictetus, the Stoicphilosopher, points out, you can
always control your opinion ofthings, even when you can't control

(03:13):
those things.
For me, I need to makedifferent choices about how I spend
my time.
If you're not satisfied withsome aspect of your life, take control
by rethinking some of your decisions.
Don't focus solely on the big decisions.
In many cases, the little,seemingly inconsequential decisions

(03:33):
add up to big effects.
Making better decisions may beeasy, or it may be challenging and
require considerable effort.
Let's start with the simple decisions.
Take my daily habit ofsnacking on chocolate covered pecans.
Oh, I love those things.
They're amazing.
I grab a couple once or twiceevery day.

(03:55):
If I'm not happy with myweight, I need to make different
choices about snacks, forexample, by not eating chocolate
covered pecans.
Decisions are often linked.
If I want to stop eatingdelicious pecans, I should maybe
stop buying them Changing manyaspects of your life comes down to

(04:16):
making small choices that putyour life out of alignment.
If you're not flourishing insome aspect of your life, look for
a few small decisions thatmight be leading you down the wrong
path.
It might be pecans, it mightbe watching television.
Whatever.
Just pick a couple and makedifferent choices.
You'll be amazed at how muchof a difference this will make.

(04:38):
Over time, your better choiceswill inspire you to make further
changes, leading to an upwardspiral of flourishing.
Now let's talk about bigger choices.
By the way, I'm using choicesand decisions interchangeably.
Since decisions are literallychoices, bigger decisions require
more time and effort spent onidentifying and analyzing the decisions.

(05:02):
Let me give you an example.
After thinking about what Ican change, it occurred to me that
I spend a lot of time oneditorial and review work.
Right now I'm co editor of twospecial issues for academic publications,
serve as an editor of somesort on five journals, and I'm co
chairing a track at a major conference.

(05:25):
This is in addition toreviewing over a dozen papers every
year.
I do this because I'm part ofan academic community, so I still
need to contribute, but not tothis extent.
So I've started turning downmore review requests and will resign
from one or two editorialpositions in the coming months.
I could also give up one ormore of my podcasts or my newsletter,

(05:48):
but I'm not going to why?
Two factors come into play.
First, I find the podcastingand newsletter writing stimulating
and enjoyable.
They also help me serve mypurpose of helping others lead successful,
meaningful lives.
The review and editorial workit's no longer enjoyable, so after

(06:10):
some analysis, my choices seem straightforward.
If I'm still tired aftermaking this choice, I'll do further
reflection and work on other choices.
It's important to realize thatall of this is triggered by an awareness
that your choices serve as thefoundation for your flourishing.
If you want your life to bedifferent, make different choices.

(06:34):
So simple, but so often forgotten.
You may not control everyaspect of your life.
Nobody does.
But you do control many partsof your life.
You have a degree of controlthat you might have overlooked.
Exercise that control bymaking choices that align with the
life you want to lead and theperson that you want to be.

(06:57):
Big or small, your choicescontrol your flourishing.
Here's your challenge for today.
Identify just one choice, bigor small, that you can adjust right
now.
Take control.
Make the right choice.
And remember, your flourishingstarts with your choices.

(07:18):
Until next time, make theright choices.
My friends.