Eric and I discuss what it’s like to step in and or stand up for Self and or others. Keeping Nonviolent communication in mind, I think it is hard in some situations when you are caught off guard to have NVC as an automatic response. In my experience in this episode, fight or flight kicked in and I just said, “thanks,” kindly and moved on to my table or went to dance. I definitely looked at this guys wife who is a friend of mine with a face of, “I can’t believe he just said that!” At that moment I think I was searching for some support in how inappropriate that was. Now, reflecting back on this episode and I see her again, I may ask her how she felt about that…And perhaps express how uncomfortable it was for me to hear it. And I will approach this conversation with curiosity and no judgment.
These moments where I don’t stand up for myself can be learning experience to help me have a voice next time. Also, this allows me to find some self-compassion as well. I might say, “I did the best I could with my nervous system activated. It’s not like I am in these situations all the time to practice over and over so my neuro pathways aren’t built up yet, so my response isn’t how I would like it to be. AND that is okay!” Give myself grace and love. What I also noticed is that there is a certain level of attunement that we have as a collective community to pick up facial expression, body language and the choice of words from the person to truly understand how to stand in for someone. That is if we aren’t confused or frozen ourselves to be able to help the other. When we don’t help the other person that can be an opportunity to give ourselves some compassion. These are the ways we can integrate NVC when we do stand up or stand in for Self and others, which is self-empathy, finding feelings that arise in the situation and what our needs are especially in the reflection part. I will leave you with that, and hope you have some take aways from this episode. Let’s dive in.
Resources:
leanin.org
50 Ways to Fight Bias
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