From Comparison to Confidence

Episode Transcript
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Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and start LivingLucky®.
Good morning.
I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we areLiving Lucky®.
You are, too the energy is highthis morning.

Jason Shelfer (00:23):
That's right it is.

We're headed to our conference today.
Now.
We talked about this in ourlast podcast.
It's called the Family Cafe andwe went to set up last night.

It's so much bigger than we anticipated and
no food.

What.

There's no food.
No, it's not the same kind ofcafe that I was anticipating.

Oh listen to you, listen to you.

Well, the family cafe, it doesn't exactly say
what you think it is, and so Iwas thinking the family cafe
sounds small, sounds intimate tome, yeah, right.
Like have a snack, like let'sget to know each other, yeah
Right, like have a snack.

Like, let's get to know each other.

Have a cup of coffee, have a snack, come on in
.

Let's get to know each other.
Massive let's connect.

I walked through.
I must've walked a mile lastnight looking for our booth, For
our booth.

We get there and we're like which one is ours and
they-.

I didn't have a map.

They all had like a little sign at the top of them
.

It was literally three feet long.
Three feet long by about six oreight inches tall.

We literally walked through every aisle, up
and down all around, and thisconference room is massive.
They're expecting 13,000 to15,000 people and immediately.
So here is the mindset.
Immediately you start lookingat the other booths and I mean

(01:56):
they were bringing in trees andbackdrops and chairs and tables,
and I mean those things thattake your picture automatically.

It was almost like going into the home and
garden show where they're doingthese really elaborate displays
and I'm like we're not going.
And we had a sheet with ourname on it.

That I printed at some point because I was going
to make it into a wheel.

And it turned out way too big.
We don't do elaborate displays,but we do elaborate mindset.

So immediately you start comparing yourself to
everyone else, which is amindset trap.

Yes.

Are you with me there?

100%.

The minute you start comparing yourself to
other people, you automatically.
It's human nature.
First of all, people don't tellyou this, but psychologists
know that is how we learn.
That is how we know how to actin society is we look at the
people around us and we startcomparing ourselves.

Yeah and saying where do we want to go.

But it's doing that, and that's how we find our
identity.

Doing that in a healthy way.

But yes, sometimes that can become toxic, because
you start looking at these otherbooths and you think, oh my
gosh, you start getting impostersyndrome, like we don't belong
here, we don't have what theyhave.
Are you with me?

Yeah, Well, I so I just you start.

I mean it's human nature to want to say what's
missing.

So I I've had that in the past.
Yeah, I've had that.
I will definitely admit tohaving that in the past.
I got more and more excited themore I walked through last
night.

Okay, and that is the other thing I wanted to talk
about.
So sometimes I notice you and Ihandle situations and
circumstances very differently.

Yes.

And yesterday when you were talking to people and
setting up our booth, walkingthrough you were getting so
excited.
It was almost like I could seethe meter in your body rising.

Yeah, I think I might've slept maybe two hours
last night.

I did not sleep at all last night, but not in a
good way.

Yeah.

I sat, I tossed and turned and I worried.

Yeah, oh boy, could you hear me?
I get a second here.
I was up almost all night.
See, I don't mean to, I wasn'tgoing to say anything, because I
was like that's not very kindof you to be saying oh boy, in
the middle of the night, see,and I didn't even realize I was
doing it.
But, yes, my energy just keptgetting higher, like higher and

(04:52):
higher and higher.
So I was, my energy wasbuilding throughout the night in
anticipation of today, becauseI've been invited to these trade
shows and these expos for thelast 30 years and so many of
them have been.

And I have too.
I mean in radio.

Almost.
They look like bake sales,where it's just a couple people
show up, it's like and you mighthave 12 people run through,
right.
So it's almost been like was itworth my time?
And I would say it's alwaysworth your time because you're
building relationships.
Also, you're buildingexperience and you're

(05:35):
recognizing what you would wantin the trade show or the expo,
right.
So as I was walking throughlast night and I saw the types
of people that were going to bethere, the booths that were set
up, the attention to detail insome of the booths, the
excitement and the energy aroundeverybody, I was like this is
the expo, this is where we needto be.

(05:59):
Yes.

This is where we've needed to be the last five
years.

This is like the Comic-Con kind of environment.
This is that feel and this isthe.
It was nice to be invited.

Yeah, you're right .

And my energy just kept going, going, going,
because we talk about just howthings happen, and they happen
for a reason, at the right timeand at the specific timing.
This didn't fall on anopportune weekend for us.

No, because I'm just going to be real.
I have a water ski competitionat this very day, and that might
be another reason why I'm alittle bit-.

You have the anxiety, the worry, and so I'm
not going to be there.

And also I've realized that I've become very
codependent on my husband,especially when it comes to
carrying my equipment getting onand off the dock.
For those of you that don'tknow, I'm a paraplegic.

Transporting the equipment.

And yes, I drive a little Mini Cooper.

And I drive an SUV.

And so trying to fit my skis in this little Mini
Cooper and then-.

Your trick ski doesn't fit in your car.

Knowing how to ask for help and how to instruct
people to help me when I needhelp.
Because people are so kind.
People want to help.
That's not the problem.

I think most people want to help anyone and,
with all the things that you'redoing and all the achievements
that you have, people want tohelp you more.
The problem is, is think aboutanyone out there.
Often most of us, regardless ofour situation or who we are, we
don't want to ask for help.

I mean, I laid in bed last night thinking what if
I need to poop?
Most of us never think aboutthat Right and I'm at this water
ski competition.
Most of us never think aboutthat Right and I'm at this water
ski competition.
It's all sand and gravel.

You will be the only person in a wheelchair
there.

And there's not bathrooms.
There is an outdoorPort-a-potty Is that what you
would call it?
There is and it's notaccessible.
But those are not accessibleand they're disgusting.

Exactly, and there is a boat dealership
that's about half a mile awaydown a gravel road.

But once I drive to the boat dealership then
trying to find a parking spacewhen I come back is an ordeal in
itself.
So there's so many logisticsthat I'm thinking about Not only
.
I'm thinking about my actualski runs and what the routines
are, you know like for my trickski, getting down the stairs to

(08:43):
the water to get to your ski run.

Yes, I mean, I'm even thinking like okay, well,
now knowing so also imagine thatI'm thinking all that too,
because I know the ski venue,yeah, environment.
And I know I'm also codependenton you and I love being there
with you.

I know as your coach, as your husband as your
biggest fan.
We're just a pile of nervesthis morning.

And knowing that this is going to be a record
capable tournament and you'repoised to break a record and I'm
going to miss it.
Okay, so I've got FOMO on thatside.

So what this podcast is really about is when
you have a pile of nerves oremotions let's just call them a
pile of emotions that arehappening simultaneously in your
body.

Emotion is energy in motion.

And it is up to us the power lies within us of how
we transmute that energy.

And process it and focus it.

So if I literally let this worry and anxiety and
if I am literally thinking aboutevery little detail and how I'm
going to overcome it in aworrisome way, that's not very
empowering.

Right, and if you keep wondering how you're going
to overcome, you're going tocreate things to overcome.

No, I started making a list of things that I
might forget, oh and that is,reverse manifesting.
That is what that's doing, andyou need to make a list of what
you need to take.

Yeah, just make the list of the things you're
going to take.
This is, and the thing aboutthis is, we know all this, we
know all this, we coach thiswhen you get into it, and this
is why we have these discussions.

And yet, we are in the midst of it and we, we are
aware that we are human.
We are human beings.

When the storm hits, you forget your umbrella.
That's the that's the problemis.
When the storm hits, you forgetyour umbrella.
That's the problem is when thestorm hits, you forget your
umbrella.
And that's why you talk aboutall the time going back and
listening to the podcast.
It's because these little10-minute, 15-minute episodes
are nice little nuggets to justkind of go back, get that taste
in your mouth, get that flavorin your mouth to say, oh, I
remember that now.

And so I know.
Jason said that I was moaningand groaning throughout the
night.
I was literally in my headgoing through my ski passes and
then I was thinking, okay, whathappens if I was going into the?
What ifs?

What if I forget that?
What if I fall here?
What if I do that?

Instead of saying what if I land that?

What if I break the record too soon?

What if I'm just so awesome that all of a sudden
I'm like you know what?
I've got my top score.
I'm headed home for the day.
I'm going to the conference tojoin Jason so that I can join
the family cafe which there isno food Before the storm hits.

Practice perfectly in your mind.
That's where the meditationcomes in.
That's where all that happens,and we've talked about this on
multiple podcasts before this,so we know.

And I've grown up with that.

Do you know?

how many coaches I've had that say it's not
practice that makes perfect,it's perfect.
Practice that makes perfect isperfect practice perfect
visualization, visualize success.

Visualize success and your brain will make it
happen.
Like it might not happenperfectly in the world, but when
your brain recognizes that itcan happen, you're going to be
closer to it and that's it.
And I'm visualizing a perfectday for you.
Yes, I'm visualizing a perfectday for me.

Where we connect with so many people.

Yes.

To where they're all like.
I just want to check out yourpodcast, your coaching, so that
I can hear what really wrecksyou are.

Right Now we're all just on this big ball of
clay trying to figure it outtogether, because even though
we've had the training, we'vehad the schooling, we have gone
to so many different coaches.

I mean, we've spent our life on
self-development and really justhoning in on the power of the
mind and the spirit, and yet westill find ourselves sometimes
in these situations.

That's right.
Well, we're constantly puttingaction behind it.
So we're constantly testing thetheories.
And when you're constantlytesting the theories, sometimes
you're going to make a mess.

Now, if I come back on Monday and say guess
what, guys, I pooped my pantsand I crashed and I forgot my
ski and see, that's not wherewe're going to go, that's not
what we're doing today.

That's not what we're doing, but if it happens,
it happens for a reason.
And guess what?
We're skiing again on Wednesdayin Tennessee, so we just let it
go, it's all good.
And we show up again and wecontinue to do our very best and
remember not to think that waywhen we go into the skiing on
Wednesday.

Oh my gosh.

We're going to have a big time this weekend.

See so much to remember, but we are so excited.
I hope you can feel our energyand I hope you come out to the
family cafe and join us.
Send me good vibes this morningas I go do my ski competition.

Yeah, if you get out to the family cafe and
you've left a review about thepodcast, come get some merch.
We've got hats, we've gotshirts, we've got backpacks and
Yoga mats yes, so we're givingaway about $5,000 worth of merch
today.

We really are.
So if you come to our booth,you will be Living Lucky®.
We will make sure of it.

That's right.
Thanks for joining us.
Have a great day.
Bye-bye, keep Living Lucky®.

If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you,
visit us at www.
LivingLucky.
com.

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