I Was Wrong

Episode Transcript
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Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and start LivingLucky®.

Jason Shelfer (00:14):
Good morning.

I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®.

You are too.

Tell us the quote for today, Jason.

The quote for today is to admit that you are
wrong, is to declare that youare wiser now than you were
before.

I hate admitting I'm wrong.
In fact, isn't that the numberone rule of politics?

Never admit you're wrong.
Never admit you're wrong.
Deny, deny, deny.
Yes, that's funny, yeah, so Iknow that there have been times
when I have not wanted to admitwhen I'm wrong, and I also.
There's a lot of times when Ijust want to plant my feet in my
rightness.

I know we all do this.

That's tough.

God, we all do this, in fact, right now we're
spending the weekend, or acouple days, a day or two, we
haven't decided yet.

We're jason's going with the flow at jason's
in-laws.

At jason's in-laws at your in-laws.
My parents here in themountains and I kind of feel
like I have been a littlestubborn did.
This quote hit you it hit meand I'm trying to be vulnerable
right now because when theybought this house here in the

(01:30):
mountains, it's beautiful, it'sabsolutely gorgeous, the view is
awesome.
However, there's steps allaround this house.
There's steps getting into it.
Once you get into the firstfloor, there's not really a full
bathroom right on the, there'snot really a bedroom, there's
not a bedroom on the first floorand it it kind of hit me like,

(01:54):
well, if it's not accessible,I'm not gonna go there.
Well, I kind of got into this.
Um, I don't know.
It kind of was a a bitter yeahand there's a little mentality.

This is a long story because the the call was
hey, it was between my mom, myparents and my sister and her
husband, and a call to us sayingwould you like to invest in
this house with us?

and the first question was is it an accessible
house?

And the answer was no, and then you could kind
of hear the breath get sucked inand like, oh crap, we didn't
think this through.

Yeah, and I mean the answer is no.

If it's not accessible, we don't want to
invest.
Because why would we want toinvest in something that we're
not going to be able to visitoften and also be free in?

But now, after being here for a couple of days
and seeing how peaceful you havebeen, I kind of feel like maybe
I was living in my pride Well,so now, now that you've given me
this quote, I can say, ok,maybe, maybe I was a little bit

(03:04):
stiff with my.

With the whole picture?
Yes, because?
So I think the answer was no,we don't want to invest, but we
will come visit.

Yeah.

So it's almost.
There's a lot in there.

So I was wrong.
I'll admit it now because I'mwiser.

Well, and we all have those moments I mean I've
got several Mine aren't thatdeep and emotional and I think
part of the thing with you is,once you spend a couple hours
with you, people forget aboutthe wheelchair.

Yeah, that's true Because you do everything.
Yeah, you did that on oursecond date.
Jason forgot my wheelchair.
We're heading out to the car.

She's like oh, somebody's got to go get my
chair, okay.

well what about you?

Is there somewhere in your life where
maybe there's so many areas, somany areas.

You can now admit I was wrong.

The first thing that comes to mind is when we
built our house and then webuilt the dock.
Okay, because we live on a lake, we built a dock.
I grew up, my parents had alake house and there was a
wooden dock.
I remember this nostalgia ofpressure washing, the wooden
dock I grew up with and thewooden dock, no matter how many
years old it was, it would lookbrand new after we pressure

(04:21):
washed it.

Yeah, that's a falsehood.

Yeah.

That's not a fact.

Yeah, well, that's the way I remembered it.
So when we built our dock, Iwas like we want to use wood, we
want to use this pressuretreated like two by fours, and
we had the option of using thispolywood or the composite poly.

Which is what?

Material that lasts forever.

It's called deck tech.

Yeah, deck tech, and so I had the option.
It cost a little more, whichshould have said.

But it lasts forever.

And it lasts forever.
So we're now 10 years into ournew deck or dock and it's time
to replace the dock.
It's time to re-deck the dock,or replace a lot of it and in
hindsight I'm going, I reallyshould have just used the tech
deck.
It would have looked beautiful,because we've already pressure

(05:15):
washed it a couple times and itdidn't look brand new.
We've stained it Stained it,sealed it, All these things over
and over again.
Done everything we can doneeverything we can in the could
have just had that tech deck tobegin with and been washing the
bird crap off instead of tryingto, um, really scrub it out and
do everything we can to get itout.

So there's a lot that I know now okay, so let's,
let's hear the words, becauseit's really hard to say I was
wrong oh my gosh, I was wrong,oh my Okay.
So how does it feel just sayingthat?

It feels freedom, I mean it's.
Does it Because for?

me, there was still a little bit of.

Pain.

Yeah, Like I don't really want to admit that.

Yeah, I said there's a lot.
There's several times Like Iknow that I was wrong.
There's been people that I was.
I thought I knew who they were.
I was wrong.

Oh.

So there's people that I didn't give enough
credit to.
I was wrong.
Yeah, you know, it happensoften and it's allowing
ourselves the room to grow.
And then also, when we put upthat barrier that says I'm right
, that's a barrier that saysit's an absolute, and I know.

So it's bringing almost a humbleness to our
humanity and leaving room forcuriosity, right.

Giving ourselves grace to be imperfect when you
think you know those absolutethings that you know takes away
any curiosity to grow.

Yeah, but I've always heard the saying when you
know, you know, you know andsay it confidently and step into
that.

Do you know what I'm saying?

There's another side of that coin there.

Well, there's also a shadow on the other side
of that tower.

Yeah right.

Yeah, so it's about it's a balance, it is a
balance, it is a balance.

Everything's a balance, everything in
moderation.

So I know that there's always room for
curiosity and growth.
That's what I know.

And I know that you're a little bit wiser today
because you admitted that youwere wrong.

Yes, and I'll take it.

Something we did 10 years ago.

And I'll.
There were.
There are plenty of things I'llbe wrong about today, and maybe
I won't.
I'm going to remind you of that, I know.

I'm going to write it down and I'm going to remind
you of that.

Do you?

remember, at 8.03 am on June 23rd.

Yeah, so if you ever want to realize how wrong
you are, go on a road trip anddon't use your GPS.

Oh, I don't even know.
Try to read a map.
Yeah, I don't even know how wedid it back in the day.

Yeah, now we're sounding wrong Wrong turn.
It's not a wrong turn.
I wanted to take the scenicroute.

This is the way I wanted to go.

That's right.

How do you know which way I wanted to?
Go, that's right this is it I'mlooking for a specific gas
station okay, let me just let'sjust go a little bit deeper.
Why is it so hard to admit thatwe're wrong?

I think it's a pride thing and also it's a.
One of those things is, when weare, when we're growing up,
there's a it's a lot of timesit's frowned upon being wrong,
right, it's like.
But why?
There's because you get praisedfor being right.
Okay, you get praised for beingright.
You get laughed at in class forbeing wrong.
You don't get laughed.

(08:38):
I mean, you don't get creditfor trying, and that's one of
the things in life is, is you?
there's this in we need tochange that right the culture
should be try, like start, likeget out there and like put
yourself out there like it's notnot to your detriment, but to

(08:59):
your, to to build courage, tobuild stamina and to also to
build your learning curve, likeit's a.
That's how we, that's how weexperiment with things.
You know, like, how many timeswas Thomas Edison wrong?
You know so many times.
But what he said was I learnedthat that's just not the right

(09:20):
way to do it, he startedlearning how to learn.
Yeah, and I can remember back in, like middle school or
elementary school, if I gave awrong answer and the teacher
said, no, that's not it.
I feel like I remember therewas around me laughing.
Failure or rejection yeah, andwhen people are laughing at you

(09:40):
because you thought you, likeyou were trying to do something
right.

Yeah.

That hurts, like there's a.

there's like a, there's a wound there is a wound
.
And do you think it stems foreverybody back?

that far, probably.
Yeah, like the first time youlike, if you're.
If you see someone riding abicycle and then you try to ride
the bicycle but you fall overand everyone laughs at you,
you're like, ok, well, I'm justnot going to try that.
I'm not going to try it infront of people, you know.
And that's where we start doingthings, so that we are, we fit
in and we're not laughed at likethey're going to laugh at me or

(10:17):
they're going to make fun of me, or I'm not going to fit into
the crowd or I'm not going to beaccepted, I'm not going to be
loved.
It goes back to those verybasic primal fears, or limiting
beliefs.

I just, I mean, I think about it from a
perspective of people I want tospend time with and be around.
If they can admit they're wrong, they're a lot easier to
express my opinions to.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I feel like they're easier toconnect with because if they

(10:52):
admit they're wrong, then I canadmit that I'm wrong.
That's big.
Then I'm not afraid to haveopinions because I'm like okay,
well, I'll put it out there.
Yeah, let's talk about this.

Let's get curious about this.
Educate me, because we can also.
We can both be wrong, and wecan also both be right from what
we currently understand andknow what we currently
understand and know.
Yes, like that's when we, whenyou and I argue, I understand.
We're both right from ourcurrent level of understanding
and our current perspective fromwhere we've come from.

And we're usually arguing the same thing, just
from different sides of the,from different corners of the
environment.

Yeah, it's crazy.
So if you're, if you alloweveryone the right to be wrong,
then you also allow everyone theright to be right.

Okay, so let's say the quote one more time.

The quote is to admit you're wrong is to declare
that you are wiser now than youwere before, and that's just
something to marinate in.

Yeah, because we value wisdom over hating being
wrong.

Yes.
So get yourself over the humpof your rightness from before,
understanding that you werewrong before, so that you can be
right again.

I'm so confused.

And now you're wiser.

Thank you for joining us.
Have a great day, keep LivingLucky®, bye-bye.
And now you're wiser.
Thank you for joining us.
Have a great day, keep LivingLucky®, bye-bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at www.
LivingLucky.
com.

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