Episode Transcript
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Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to
create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and start LivingLucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:14):
Good morning.
Jana Shelfer (00:15):
I'm Jana, I'm
Jason and we are Living Lucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:19):
You are too.
Jana Shelfer (00:20):
Tell us the quote
for today, Jason.
Jason Shelfer (00:21):
The quote for
today is to admit that you are
wrong, is to declare that youare wiser now than you were
before.
Jana Shelfer (00:30):
I hate admitting
I'm wrong.
In fact, isn't that the numberone rule of politics?
Jason Shelfer (00:36):
Never admit
you're wrong.
Never admit you're wrong.
Deny, deny, deny.
Yes, that's funny, yeah, so Iknow that there have been times
when I have not wanted to admitwhen I'm wrong, and I also.
There's a lot of times when Ijust want to plant my feet in my
rightness.
Jana Shelfer (00:52):
I know we all do
this.
Jason Shelfer (00:54):
That's tough.
Jana Shelfer (00:55):
God, we all do
this, in fact, right now we're
spending the weekend, or acouple days, a day or two, we
haven't decided yet.
Jason Shelfer (01:05):
We're jason's
going with the flow at jason's
in-laws.
Jana Shelfer (01:09):
At jason's in-laws
at your in-laws.
My parents here in themountains and I kind of feel
like I have been a littlestubborn did.
This quote hit you it hit meand I'm trying to be vulnerable
right now because when theybought this house here in the
(01:30):
mountains, it's beautiful, it'sabsolutely gorgeous, the view is
awesome.
However, there's steps allaround this house.
There's steps getting into it.
Once you get into the firstfloor, there's not really a full
bathroom right on the, there'snot really a bedroom, there's
not a bedroom on the first floorand it it kind of hit me like,
(01:54):
well, if it's not accessible,I'm not gonna go there.
Well, I kind of got into this.
Um, I don't know.
It kind of was a a bitter yeahand there's a little mentality.
Jason Shelfer (02:08):
This is a long
story because the the call was
hey, it was between my mom, myparents and my sister and her
husband, and a call to us sayingwould you like to invest in
this house with us?
Jana Shelfer (02:22):
and the first
question was is it an accessible
house?
Jason Shelfer (02:25):
And the answer
was no, and then you could kind
of hear the breath get sucked inand like, oh crap, we didn't
think this through.
Jana Shelfer (02:32):
Yeah, and I mean
the answer is no.
Jason Shelfer (02:35):
If it's not
accessible, we don't want to
invest.
Because why would we want toinvest in something that we're
not going to be able to visitoften and also be free in?
Jana Shelfer (02:44):
But now, after
being here for a couple of days
and seeing how peaceful you havebeen, I kind of feel like maybe
I was living in my pride Well,so now, now that you've given me
this quote, I can say, ok,maybe, maybe I was a little bit
(03:04):
stiff with my.
Jason Shelfer (03:08):
With the whole
picture?
Yes, because?
So I think the answer was no,we don't want to invest, but we
will come visit.
Jana Shelfer (03:16):
Yeah.
Jason Shelfer (03:17):
So it's almost.
There's a lot in there.
Jana Shelfer (03:19):
So I was wrong.
I'll admit it now because I'mwiser.
Jason Shelfer (03:24):
Well, and we all
have those moments I mean I've
got several Mine aren't thatdeep and emotional and I think
part of the thing with you is,once you spend a couple hours
with you, people forget aboutthe wheelchair.
Jana Shelfer (03:37):
Yeah, that's true
Because you do everything.
Yeah, you did that on oursecond date.
Jason forgot my wheelchair.
We're heading out to the car.
Jason Shelfer (03:47):
She's like oh,
somebody's got to go get my
chair, okay.
Jana Shelfer (03:50):
well what about
you?
Jason Shelfer (03:51):
Is there
somewhere in your life where
maybe there's so many areas, somany areas.
Jana Shelfer (03:57):
You can now admit
I was wrong.
Jason Shelfer (04:00):
The first thing
that comes to mind is when we
built our house and then webuilt the dock.
Okay, because we live on a lake, we built a dock.
I grew up, my parents had alake house and there was a
wooden dock.
I remember this nostalgia ofpressure washing, the wooden
dock I grew up with and thewooden dock, no matter how many
years old it was, it would lookbrand new after we pressure
(04:21):
washed it.
Jana Shelfer (04:22):
Yeah, that's a
falsehood.
Jason Shelfer (04:24):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (04:24):
That's not a fact.
Jason Shelfer (04:25):
Yeah, well,
that's the way I remembered it.
So when we built our dock, Iwas like we want to use wood, we
want to use this pressuretreated like two by fours, and
we had the option of using thispolywood or the composite poly.
Jana Shelfer (04:42):
Which is what?
Jason Shelfer (04:43):
Material that
lasts forever.
Jana Shelfer (04:45):
It's called deck
tech.
Jason Shelfer (04:46):
Yeah, deck tech,
and so I had the option.
It cost a little more, whichshould have said.
Jana Shelfer (04:53):
But it lasts
forever.
Jason Shelfer (04:54):
And it lasts
forever.
So we're now 10 years into ournew deck or dock and it's time
to replace the dock.
It's time to re-deck the dock,or replace a lot of it and in
hindsight I'm going, I reallyshould have just used the tech
deck.
It would have looked beautiful,because we've already pressure
(05:15):
washed it a couple times and itdidn't look brand new.
We've stained it Stained it,sealed it, All these things over
and over again.
Done everything we can doneeverything we can in the could
have just had that tech deck tobegin with and been washing the
bird crap off instead of tryingto, um, really scrub it out and
do everything we can to get itout.
Jana Shelfer (05:34):
So there's a lot
that I know now okay, so let's,
let's hear the words, becauseit's really hard to say I was
wrong oh my gosh, I was wrong,oh my Okay.
So how does it feel just sayingthat?
Jason Shelfer (05:48):
It feels freedom,
I mean it's.
Does it Because for?
Jana Shelfer (05:52):
me, there was
still a little bit of.
Jason Shelfer (05:54):
Pain.
Jana Shelfer (05:55):
Yeah, Like I don't
really want to admit that.
Jason Shelfer (05:57):
Yeah, I said
there's a lot.
There's several times Like Iknow that I was wrong.
There's been people that I was.
I thought I knew who they were.
I was wrong.
Jana Shelfer (06:08):
Oh.
Jason Shelfer (06:08):
So there's people
that I didn't give enough
credit to.
I was wrong.
Yeah, you know, it happensoften and it's allowing
ourselves the room to grow.
And then also, when we put upthat barrier that says I'm right
, that's a barrier that saysit's an absolute, and I know.
Jana Shelfer (06:31):
So it's bringing
almost a humbleness to our
humanity and leaving room forcuriosity, right.
Jason Shelfer (06:41):
Giving ourselves
grace to be imperfect when you
think you know those absolutethings that you know takes away
any curiosity to grow.
Jana Shelfer (06:49):
Yeah, but I've
always heard the saying when you
know, you know, you know andsay it confidently and step into
that.
Jason Shelfer (06:57):
Do you know what
I'm saying?
Jana Shelfer (06:58):
There's another
side of that coin there.
Jason Shelfer (06:59):
Well, there's
also a shadow on the other side
of that tower.
Jana Shelfer (07:03):
Yeah right.
Jason Shelfer (07:04):
Yeah, so it's
about it's a balance, it is a
balance, it is a balance.
Jana Shelfer (07:08):
Everything's a
balance, everything in
moderation.
Jason Shelfer (07:11):
So I know that
there's always room for
curiosity and growth.
That's what I know.
Jana Shelfer (07:17):
And I know that
you're a little bit wiser today
because you admitted that youwere wrong.
Jason Shelfer (07:21):
Yes, and I'll
take it.
Jana Shelfer (07:23):
Something we did
10 years ago.
Jason Shelfer (07:26):
And I'll.
There were.
There are plenty of things I'llbe wrong about today, and maybe
I won't.
I'm going to remind you of that, I know.
Jana Shelfer (07:33):
I'm going to write
it down and I'm going to remind
you of that.
Jason Shelfer (07:36):
Do you?
Jana Shelfer (07:37):
remember, at 8.03
am on June 23rd.
Jason Shelfer (07:42):
Yeah, so if you
ever want to realize how wrong
you are, go on a road trip anddon't use your GPS.
Jana Shelfer (07:49):
Oh, I don't even
know.
Try to read a map.
Yeah, I don't even know how wedid it back in the day.
Jason Shelfer (07:55):
Yeah, now we're
sounding wrong Wrong turn.
It's not a wrong turn.
I wanted to take the scenicroute.
Jana Shelfer (08:00):
This is the way I
wanted to go.
Jason Shelfer (08:02):
That's right.
Jana Shelfer (08:03):
How do you know
which way I wanted to?
Go, that's right this is it I'mlooking for a specific gas
station okay, let me just let'sjust go a little bit deeper.
Why is it so hard to admit thatwe're wrong?
Jason Shelfer (08:16):
I think it's a
pride thing and also it's a.
One of those things is, when weare, when we're growing up,
there's a it's a lot of timesit's frowned upon being wrong,
right, it's like.
But why?
There's because you get praisedfor being right.
Okay, you get praised for beingright.
You get laughed at in class forbeing wrong.
You don't get laughed.
(08:38):
I mean, you don't get creditfor trying, and that's one of
the things in life is, is you?
there's this in we need tochange that right the culture
should be try, like start, likeget out there and like put
yourself out there like it's notnot to your detriment, but to
(08:59):
your, to to build courage, tobuild stamina and to also to
build your learning curve, likeit's a.
That's how we, that's how weexperiment with things.
You know, like, how many timeswas Thomas Edison wrong?
You know so many times.
But what he said was I learnedthat that's just not the right
(09:20):
way to do it, he startedlearning how to learn.
Yeah, and I can remember back in, like middle school or
elementary school, if I gave awrong answer and the teacher
said, no, that's not it.
I feel like I remember therewas around me laughing.
Failure or rejection yeah, andwhen people are laughing at you
(09:40):
because you thought you, likeyou were trying to do something
right.
Jana Shelfer (09:44):
Yeah.
Jason Shelfer (09:45):
That hurts, like
there's a.
Jana Shelfer (09:47):
there's like a,
there's a wound there is a wound
.
And do you think it stems foreverybody back?
Jason Shelfer (09:54):
that far,
probably.
Yeah, like the first time youlike, if you're.
If you see someone riding abicycle and then you try to ride
the bicycle but you fall overand everyone laughs at you,
you're like, ok, well, I'm justnot going to try that.
I'm not going to try it infront of people, you know.
And that's where we start doingthings, so that we are, we fit
in and we're not laughed at likethey're going to laugh at me or
(10:17):
they're going to make fun of me, or I'm not going to fit into
the crowd or I'm not going to beaccepted, I'm not going to be
loved.
It goes back to those verybasic primal fears, or limiting
beliefs.
Jana Shelfer (10:30):
I just, I mean, I
think about it from a
perspective of people I want tospend time with and be around.
If they can admit they're wrong, they're a lot easier to
express my opinions to.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I feel like they're easier toconnect with because if they
(10:52):
admit they're wrong, then I canadmit that I'm wrong.
That's big.
Then I'm not afraid to haveopinions because I'm like okay,
well, I'll put it out there.
Yeah, let's talk about this.
Jason Shelfer (11:02):
Let's get curious
about this.
Educate me, because we can also.
We can both be wrong, and wecan also both be right from what
we currently understand andknow what we currently
understand and know.
Yes, like that's when we, whenyou and I argue, I understand.
We're both right from ourcurrent level of understanding
and our current perspective fromwhere we've come from.
Jana Shelfer (11:24):
And we're usually
arguing the same thing, just
from different sides of the,from different corners of the
environment.
Jason Shelfer (11:28):
Yeah, it's crazy.
So if you're, if you alloweveryone the right to be wrong,
then you also allow everyone theright to be right.
Jana Shelfer (11:37):
Okay, so let's say
the quote one more time.
Jason Shelfer (11:39):
The quote is to
admit you're wrong is to declare
that you are wiser now than youwere before, and that's just
something to marinate in.
Jana Shelfer (11:49):
Yeah, because we
value wisdom over hating being
wrong.
Jason Shelfer (11:56):
Yes.
So get yourself over the humpof your rightness from before,
understanding that you werewrong before, so that you can be
right again.
Jana Shelfer (12:08):
I'm so confused.
Jason Shelfer (12:10):
And now you're
wiser.
Jana Shelfer (12:11):
Thank you for
joining us.
Have a great day, keep LivingLucky®, bye-bye.
And now you're wiser.
Thank you for joining us.
Have a great day, keep LivingLucky®, bye-bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at www.
LivingLucky.
com.