Episode Transcript
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Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to
create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and startLiving Lucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:14):
Good morning.
Jana Shelfer (00:15):
I'm Jana.
I'm Jason.
And we are Living Lucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:18):
You are too.
Jana Shelfer (00:20):
Today we're
talking about stress laxing.
Oh, so fun.
It almost sounds like somethingthat makes you go to the
bathroom.
Jason Shelfer (00:28):
I need to get in
a stress laxer.
Stress laxer.
Jana Shelfer (00:33):
The term itself,
it just gives me agida.
Jason Shelfer (00:37):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (00:37):
Doesn't it?
Jason Shelfer (00:38):
Well, it's I and
I can kind of feel, I can relate
to it.
Because a lot of times we'lllay down and feel that kind of
blanket of stress go get overus, knowing that there's
something like the to-do listisn't done.
Jana Shelfer (00:51):
It's an internal
conflict.
Yes.
It is when you there's one partof your brain that says, you
know what?
I need to just lay down andrelax.
I need to take a little timefor myself, maybe rest, recover,
recuperate, re-energize.
And then there's that otherside of your brain that's that
(01:13):
just creeps in and says, Yeah,but you got so much to do, pal.
You could be paying the bills,or you could be going out and
exercising, or you could gogrocery shopping, or you could
clean the house, or you couldtake the dog for a walk, or you
could organize your closet.
Jason Shelfer (01:29):
Remember those
big goals you have?
You're not getting there on thecouch.
Jana Shelfer (01:31):
Right?
You could be doing some work toactually make you some money.
Jason Shelfer (01:35):
Right.
Jana Shelfer (01:36):
There's all those
little voices that creep in.
Jason Shelfer (01:41):
Yeah.
It's a good thing.
Jana Shelfer (01:42):
And so then
therefore, your time relaxing,
recuperating, re-energizing,really turn into stress laxing.
Turns into this big stressloop.
Jason Shelfer (01:55):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (01:55):
It's a big cloud
of heaviness.
Jason Shelfer (01:58):
And I think for
me, um, this word struck me
because sometimes there's likethis one thing.
Like I will get super busydoing the smaller things or do
it, like taking the smallerbites of things, but I won't do
that one thing.
Jana Shelfer (02:14):
Like I will put
off I feel like you're talking
about me.
I do that too.
I get stuck in the details, andJason's like, hey, wait a
minute.
Weren't we?
Jason Shelfer (02:22):
Well, I think
there's those those pieces of
life where you will do the bigthing, but then like the one
thing you'll put off is like forme, it's taxes.
You okay every year, everyfreaking year for me, it's it's
doing the end of the year taxes.
I could do it month by month,you know.
We talk about every year.
Every year we talk about doingit month by month.
(02:44):
And it's like at the end of themonth, I'm like, I don't feel
like doing, I don't want to dothe record keeping, I don't want
to put all this together.
Like I keep it in a box, I keepit in a folder.
I just don't want to organizeit.
Okay, so as a coach because thenext month has already started.
Jana Shelfer (02:59):
As a coach, I
might ask you some tough
questions.
Jason Shelfer (03:02):
I know, I know.
Jana Shelfer (03:04):
What is what is
the underlying thought there?
What is what does taxesrepresent for you?
Jason Shelfer (03:12):
Really, it's it's
just the the thing is
everything just keeps going.
Like it there's it doesn'treally represent anything for
me.
Uh-huh.
It's just that we get into thenext month and new paperwork's
already coming in.
So like we're in the we getinto the seventh and eighth, and
(03:34):
I'm already getting paperworkfor last month.
Jana Shelfer (03:38):
So it feels like
you're always behind.
Jason Shelfer (03:40):
Yeah.
So I'm then I have to go backand redo what I've already done.
So I have to catch, I have tostick that back into the pile of
that I've already completed.
So I'm like, why do it now?
And then it gets to the eighthor ninth, and I'm like, now I
need to do it, but we're alreadyeight months in, so let's just
put it off.
Jana Shelfer (03:57):
So what I'm
hearing is I'll always give
myself an excuse.
What I'm hearing you say is nomatter what I do, it's never
good enough.
Jason Shelfer (04:05):
And and I'll
never be caught up with it
because I'm not gonna have allthe paperwork until the end of
the year.
So let's just wait until Iknow, like May of next year,
when I have all the paperwork.
Jana Shelfer (04:15):
Okay, so as a
coach, I'm gonna have to.
Jason Shelfer (04:17):
Then it's
overwhelming.
Then I've got a mountain.
Is this true?
No, it's I know it's not true.
It's a ridiculousness that I'mgiving myself, which creates
this mountain of stress that Ihave to deal with at the end of
the year.
Jana Shelfer (04:30):
So what is it
making you feel?
Jason Shelfer (04:33):
Is it making you
feel anxious and stressed and
makes you feel like you cannever catch up?
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (04:38):
Makes you feel
like you're not good enough.
Jason Shelfer (04:41):
Um, I don't know
that it's not good enough.
It just makes me feel like umtaxes are a problem.
Jana Shelfer (04:47):
Okay, that right
there is I know we need to
reframe that.
Jason Shelfer (04:51):
It's a horrible
limiting belief because taxes
are.
Jana Shelfer (04:54):
And when you say
taxes are a problem, taxes are a
blessing.
Guess what you're gonna createin your life.
Jason Shelfer (04:58):
More taxes and
more problems.
You just start bringing up moreof that on and more problems.
Jana Shelfer (05:04):
So maybe let's
change that word to a challenge.
Jason Shelfer (05:08):
Yeah.
Taxes are just something I getto experience and um that I'm
fortunate enough to be able topay because of what I'm saying.
Jana Shelfer (05:16):
Or to live in this
wonderful society.
Jason Shelfer (05:19):
I know, it's
incredible.
But it's it's one of thosethings where I just keep putting
it off.
Like it, that's my big thing.
That's the thing that,especially this time of the
year, when I'm when I know thatI need a break, yeah, that's
that nagging thing in the backof my mind for stress laxing.
Jana Shelfer (05:35):
So maybe stress
laxing is really just a band-aid
for procrastination.
Jason Shelfer (05:42):
It probably is.
And I and I know that if I justand we talked about it a little
bit um earlier, not on thispodcast, but earlier in our
lives.
Yes.
That um if I just set that planin place.
Jana Shelfer (05:54):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (05:55):
Like we know that
we can climb any mountain if we
if we just get the toolstogether and if we just make
this make plan the route.
Jana Shelfer (06:03):
Uh-huh.
Jason Shelfer (06:03):
You know, and we
talked about, okay, well, what
would it look like if I planneda purposeful journey through
this tax expedition?
Jana Shelfer (06:13):
Oh this podcast
has taken a turn.
Jason Shelfer (06:17):
Because I said, I
we're going to Australia.
I want to have some free, Iwill have some free time in
Australia.
And you're like, no, thatdoesn't sound like a great idea.
Jana Shelfer (06:26):
I'm telling you
right now, when we're on
vacation, because what I wassaying, our dream vacation, our
dream competition, I guaranteeyou that taxes is not going to
be on the forefront of minds.
Jason Shelfer (06:37):
And you're 100%
right.
Because what I was doing was Iwas trying to push it off again.
Jana Shelfer (06:42):
Right.
Jason Shelfer (06:43):
Because what I
and like going to Australia to
do taxes is the most ridiculousfreaking thing probably anyone's
ever heard.
You know, like that's expensivetax time.
Jana Shelfer (06:57):
Let's just push it
down under.
Jason Shelfer (06:59):
Let's just do the
taxes down under where it costs
the most.
Like let's go spend tens ofthousands of dollars to go do
our taxes in Australia.
Jana Shelfer (07:08):
To another
country.
Jason Shelfer (07:09):
But hey, maybe
the taxes are a write-off then,
right?
Maybe the whole truck's awrite-off because I did my taxes
down there.
I don't know.
I'm not an I'm not a tax whizlike that.
But I know for a fact I wouldhave gotten to Australia and I
would have been like, let's godo this, let's go do that.
I'm not, whatever it is, I'mnot doing taxes down there.
So then we get back in Januaryand I'm like, nothing's done.
(07:30):
I get to wait until Aprilagain.
Jana Shelfer (07:32):
Jason's receipts
have a koala print on them.
That's right.
Jason Shelfer (07:38):
And I'm now
further behind.
Right.
So we've got seven days beforewe leave.
And it was literally just whydon't we just start looking at
how we can digitally do them?
Jana Shelfer (07:49):
Yes.
And just and then that way whenwe are on vacation where it is
okay to relax, yes, we don'thave this heavy cloud over us of
saying, oh, I gotta get homeand I gotta do the taxes.
Jason Shelfer (08:04):
Yeah.
And that it's I and I can takethese little bite-sized nuggets
for the next couple of days.
And what if I could get um twoor three months a day over the
next couple of days?
Jana Shelfer (08:16):
I'm I'm gonna just
throw a little tool out there
for everybody.
When we start feeling stress ofany sort, it really will pop
the bubble if we just take ababy step, or what my coach
called a turtle step.
Take a little turtle step ofaction towards it and come up
(08:40):
with a plan.
Jason Shelfer (08:41):
Yeah, and then we
can say, what am I avoiding?
Jana Shelfer (08:43):
You can you can
ask yourself that question, but
the the way to the antidote touh stress is by uh taking little
baby micro steps, actiontowards your goal.
Jason Shelfer (08:58):
And that's not a
huge thing.
Jana Shelfer (09:00):
Because I'm
telling you, stress is actually
it is a gift, it is your soultelling you, you know what, in
order to be your best self, movetowards this, move toward this,
do this.
It's actually a compass.
It is a compass, it's a guide,it is helping to direct us
toward our north star.
Jason Shelfer (09:21):
Yeah, and I think
one of the big things is stress
only gets bigger.
So if why the more you put itoff, yeah, why not?
Jana Shelfer (09:28):
The more you're
telling your brain, oh, I give
you permission to just push thisoff.
And then when you do face it,it feels yeah.
Jason Shelfer (09:37):
So the those
turtle steps are kind of like
taking little marshmallowbite-sized pieces out of this
big thing.
And it's that makes it better.
Jana Shelfer (09:47):
Yeah, you know,
it's like taking turtle steps,
it does allow you to have timefor yourself where your your
brain isn't constantly knockingon your other brain, saying we
shouldn't be relaxing right nowbecause we got we got shit to
do.
Jason Shelfer (10:05):
And it gives you
that sense of I'm worth it, I
can do it.
Like just take that turtle stepbecause it's the path.
Jana Shelfer (10:12):
And I also feel
that when we when we do take
those steps, then we feel like,okay, now I get a little reward
because I did go that.
Do you know what I'm saying?
There's that littlepsychological twist to it all as
well.
Jason Shelfer (10:27):
There's there's a
lot of candy in that.
Not not uh literal candy, but alot of lot of little nuggets,
little juice in there, a lot oflittle marshmallows, like little
marshmallow pieces.
I'm not hungry.
Jana Shelfer (10:42):
Thanks for joining
us.
Keep Living Lucky®, but if theidea of Living Lucky® appeals to
you, visit us atLivingLucky.com.