Upgrade Your Greeting

Upgrade Your Greeting: How 5 Words Can End The 'Scrolling Humans' Trap 

Hack Your Hello: End Autopilot, Build Real Connection 🗣️

Stuck on "Good morning... I'm fine"? This script drains your spark.

Our self-help playbook from Australia reveals how simple, curious greetings (e.g., "How goes it?") shatter the law of habituation, force presence, and unlock real connection.

Upgrade your first five words for personal development:

• The Habituation Trap: Predictable scripts numb your attention. Stop scrolling humans; start building bonds.
• The Presence Hack: Listen with intent (even across a new accent) to be instantly more present.
• New Scripts: Steal energizing greetings that create meaningful bonds and real stories.

Hear how split attention derails love and the simple reset (name the need, acknowledge the moment) needed to repair misreads. Relationships are the engine; greetings are the spark plugs.

Actionable Takeaways for Deeper Connection:

• Law of Habituation: Canned scripts are autonomic responses. Novelty in phrasing forces your brain to engage.
• Presence is Intentional: Listen intently to make people feel truly seen. Use the one breath, eye contact, one beat of silence rule.
• Retail Script Upgrade: Replace closed questions ("Can I help you?") with open prompts: "What's your highlight so far?"
• Partner Repair: Split attention is poison. The fix: Name the need, acknowledge the moment.
• The Life Engine: Start with curiosity, not courtesy. A new hello changes the map of your day.

Hit play, steal the scripts, and be more present today!

• How to break the habituation trap in conversations.
• New greetings to start better conversations.
• Why 'how are you' is a bad conversation starter.
• The importance of presence in relationships.
• How to repair miscommunication with a partner.
• Tips for better listening and deeper connection.
• "What is the law of habituation in daily life?" "How can I change my greeting to improve communication?" "What are examples of open-ended conversation starters?" "How does presence improve relationship quality?" "Why is listening with intent important?"

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*Previously Recorded

Episode Transcript

Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and startLiving Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer (00:14):
Good morning.

Jana Shelfer (00:15):
I'm Jana.
I'm Jason.
And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer (00:19):
You are too.

Jana Shelfer (00:20):
How goes it?

Jason Shelfer (00:21):
How goes it, mate?
What are you after?

Jana Shelfer (00:24):
You know, I have decided from being here in
Australia that I need to upgrademy greeting.

Jason Shelfer (00:32):
I think that is a that's a great assessment.

Jana Shelfer (00:35):
How many times do we say, good morning?
How you doing?
And people go, Oh, I'm good.
Good, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
And then we walk on and webecome very forgettable.

Jason Shelfer (00:44):
You know, that's the I'm good, I'm fine.
Those are the usually thebest-cased scenario, though.

Jana Shelfer (00:52):
They're canned answers.
Like it's almost like we gointo this automatic script.

Jason Shelfer (00:57):
Yeah, the passerby.

Jana Shelfer (00:59):
I mean, sometimes we'll say busy but good.

Jason Shelfer (01:02):
You know, like and then you run into the
negative Nancy that's like, oh,you're not gonna believe what
happened to me.

Jana Shelfer (01:08):
This rain never stops.
How are you doing?

Jason Shelfer (01:11):
The stocks have taken a turn.

Jana Shelfer (01:13):
I wish the sun would come out.

Jason Shelfer (01:15):
Oh, it's so hot.
The weather's horrible.

Jana Shelfer (01:18):
So we have been in Walla, Australia for a week,
week and a half now.
And what I've noticed is thatpeople here use just a slightly
different greeting.
And when they do, it sparkssomething new in my brain.

Jason Shelfer (01:36):
Yeah, well, a different language strikes up a
different conversation.

Jana Shelfer (01:41):
And all of a sudden, when people say, How
goes it this morning?
I literally stop and I say,Well, you know what?
Let me let's just talk aboutit.
Things are rolling pretty fine.
And I I find myself likestopping and literally having a
conversation.

Jason Shelfer (01:58):
It's just changing a couple of words in
the greeting, like not doing thesame old, same old.

Jana Shelfer (02:04):
We often talk about the law of habituation.
Uh, and I've realized that justwhen we're pass through passing
by people or you know,strangers.
It's I don't know why, but inAmerica, I don't really want to
get to know strangers.

Jason Shelfer (02:22):
It's the quick way out, it's the quick way
through.

Jana Shelfer (02:25):
It's it's yeah, you just nod the head, hey, and
then you move on.

Jason Shelfer (02:29):
It's basically a scroll.
You're we're scrolling throughpeople in our lives.

Jana Shelfer (02:33):
We are.
We are, and we're missingopportunities to connect.

Jason Shelfer (02:38):
And what has happened is because we're
getting this new greeting, thisdifferent language in the way
people interact in the passingby, yes, we hear it differently.
So it forces us to say, wait,that's not what I'm used to
hearing.
Yeah, I need to come up withsomething that I'm not used to
saying.

Jana Shelfer (02:55):
I know, like someone literally said, How goes
it?
And I'm like, long to carry,hard to carry.

Jason Shelfer (03:01):
I'm like, where'd that come from?
Right.

Jana Shelfer (03:03):
Well like that's from a third grade riddle.

Jason Shelfer (03:06):
Right.
Well, so our brain is so usedto just having that autonomic or
automatic response that we weget so caught in that law of
habituation.

Jana Shelfer (03:16):
And we have to stop.

Jason Shelfer (03:18):
Yes.
So now we've been triggeredinto okay, that's a different
thing I'm hearing.
So what's a different thing I'mgonna say?

Jana Shelfer (03:25):
Then the other thing I've noticed, and maybe
you can back me up on this, isthat because they have a
slightly different well, theyhave a very different accent
than what I'm used to.
Haven't noticed sometimes Ihave to really sit and intently
listen.

Jason Shelfer (03:43):
I have to listen and watch their mouths.

Jana Shelfer (03:45):
Why is that?

Jason Shelfer (03:46):
Because I it's like turn the radio down so I
can see.

Jana Shelfer (03:50):
And what's so bizarre is that because I'm
listening so intently, I feellike I'm a little more present.

Jason Shelfer (03:59):
And and they are connecting more deeply with you
in that conversation becauseyou've just connected more
deeply with them.

Jana Shelfer (04:07):
Now, isn't that bizarre?
You're right, Jason.
We have we have learned totreat our relationships almost
like a social media scroll.

Jason Shelfer (04:18):
Yeah, it's crazy.

Jana Shelfer (04:19):
We literally we we scroll through, occasionally
we'll like, like, like, and it'salmost like we're doing it
without any awareness.

Jason Shelfer (04:28):
One thing that uh may or may not be noticeable
for some people that arelistening right now is are we
doing this with our family, withthe people that are closest to
us?
Of course we are, or are wejust doing it with people that
we're meeting going through thegrocery store, going through the
the fast food line, or goinggoing through work?

Jana Shelfer (04:46):
I notice it with you and I all the time.
I love being around you.
I've also noticed that you andI sometimes one will ask the
other a question.

Jason Shelfer (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jana Shelfer (04:57):
Well, it's and we just kind of continue doing what
we're doing.
It's like we and it's not thatwe intentionally are trying to
ignore the other person.

Jason Shelfer (05:06):
Like, does that need a response right now?
Or is is it just is someonethinking out loud?
Like it's like we kind of makethese assumptions internally
without voicing our thoughtpatterns behind it.

Jana Shelfer (05:17):
No, that's exactly what no, literally.
Yesterday we were at the dockand it was my turn to go.
Now I was jumping, and I'm Ihaven't jumped in so long.
I wanted to get in the ski, Iwanted to actually sit there, I
wanted to be on that dock assoon as I possibly could to give
myself some time to just andyou had probably been building

(05:39):
up all these expectations of howit was gonna go in your mind
without expressing them fully.
And so I'm literally waitingfor the person in front of me to
get off the dock so that I haveroom to get on, and then my ski
wasn't there, right?
Because there wasn't room, andI was like, hey Jason, Jason,
and I'm looking up at you, andyou're like playing your little

(06:00):
monopoly game, going, I'm on, Igotta see if I can win this 20
seconds.
Do you know what I'm saying?
And and then it I'm like, okay,I gotta wait for him to finish
his monopoly game.
And it starts coming across asignoring.
Well, ignoring from your end,and then I start yapping a

(06:22):
little louder, and it I startgetting a little yappy.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like a little YorkshireTerrier.
I'm running to ski.
I need attention.

Jason Shelfer (06:32):
I need attention over here.

Jana Shelfer (06:33):
I got it.
Give me a second.
I'm playing Monopoly Go.
But that's what we do.

Jason Shelfer (06:39):
That is, and that's that happens on a
consistent level throughoutpeople's lives.
And that's so that's where,okay, how do we turn the volume
down on that and turn the volumeup on the connection?
And that's I think that's wherewe can look lean into this,
just changing the conversationat the beginning of a

(07:01):
conversation, and that's goingto create a new connection.

Jana Shelfer (07:04):
A new script.

Jason Shelfer (07:05):
Yes.

Jana Shelfer (07:06):
Because we're just automatically going through the
motions, going through thewords.

Jason Shelfer (07:10):
And that new script creates a new um new
connection on in the stage oflife, you know, like that new
relationship in in the containerthat whatever whatever
container you're in.

Jana Shelfer (07:26):
Oh, this this podcast today is speaking to me
because I have realized I'vegotten very lazy at building
relationships.
Well, I think it's there'ssomething inside me that's like,
I'm never gonna see thesepeople again.
I don't care.

Jason Shelfer (07:42):
It and how how many people do we talk to,
though, on in the last uh sevendays that are telling stories
about people that they met once10 years ago?

Jana Shelfer (07:52):
I mean, just going to the ski store here and
meeting Tessa and Jerry.

Jason Shelfer (07:57):
Right.

Jana Shelfer (07:57):
And I don't know why, but next thing you know,
they're telling us that they'reshow skiers, and in fact,
they're going to America nextyear.
They're gonna be in Florida.
They're gonna be in Florida,they're gonna be literally 20
minutes from where we live.

Jason Shelfer (08:10):
Right.

Jana Shelfer (08:10):
And then just having that conversation with
them, I was like, oh my gosh, ifwe wouldn't have struck up any
sort of conversation, I wouldhave never realized that.
If they hadn't said, how's itgoing today?

Jason Shelfer (08:24):
How's it going, mate?

Jana Shelfer (08:25):
Yes.
What you need?
What you any for?
You know what I'm saying?
Like they just have a differentway of doing it.

Jason Shelfer (08:32):
Because it was different, because if it was
just someone saying, Can I helpyou?
Which is what we're used tohearing, we would have said no,
we're just looking.
Yeah, we're not looking at it.
Because that's what we're usedto saying.

Jana Shelfer (08:41):
We would have politely said, No, thank you.

Jason Shelfer (08:43):
We're just looking.

Jana Shelfer (08:44):
We're just looking.

Jason Shelfer (08:46):
That's because that is the automatic response
most Americans give to someonein a store that says, Can I help
you?

Jana Shelfer (08:52):
You know, every now and then we just need a big
kick in the butt.
And I feel like right now Ineed a big kick in the butt
because life is really all aboutrelationships.
It's about connecting withpeople, it's about sharing.

Jason Shelfer (09:07):
You nailed it.
It's relationships in general,whether it's a relationship with
your finances, relationshipwith your spouse, your family,
friends, new people that comeinto your life, relation.
Relational is what we're meantto be as beings.

Jana Shelfer (09:22):
And I have the perfect opportunity right now to
build some new relationships,and I've been a little
laxadaisical.

Jason Shelfer (09:30):
So, one thing I would say is have you been more
relational with yourself?
Because I would give you creditin that area.

Jana Shelfer (09:39):
Okay, thank you.
Thank you.
I need I need credit somewhere.

Jason Shelfer (09:42):
Give yourself a little check mark there because
you have been credit creditedthere in being relational with
yourself.
And now, how do we just createa larger bubble to let people
in?

Jana Shelfer (09:52):
All right, well, step number one is to upgrade
your greetings.

Jason Shelfer (09:57):
So big.

Jana Shelfer (09:58):
Upgrade.
Get out of the script that weall have my memorized in our
unconscious mind, and weliterally are just going through
the motions.

Jason Shelfer (10:08):
Just change it up a little bit, and you'll be
surprised at what happens.

Jana Shelfer (10:11):
What's your dream, mate?

Jason Shelfer (10:12):
Yeah.

Jana Shelfer (10:12):
I'm gonna start saying that.

Jason Shelfer (10:14):
What what exciting, what what do you have
exciting going on today?

Jana Shelfer (10:17):
Oh, that changes the energy.
Yeah, that changes the thespark in the eye.
Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer (10:23):
Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer (10:24):
Bye bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at
LivingLucky.com.