November 10, 2025 • 14 mins
The Five-Year Question: Break the Loop and Achieve Meaningful Growth with TFA
Will your next five years be meaningful growth or just time passed? This self-help episode is the practical playbook for escaping the doom loop and creating an upward success cycle in life and finance.
Master the essential formula for change: Thoughts > Feelings > Actions (TFA). Keeping them the same guarantees stagnation. Learn to shift just one lever to build momentum—you must do it scared!
Hear our candid story of a five-year money conflict breakthrough (it took new actions). Discover why coaches are critical for surfacing blind spots and limiting beliefs. Friction is not failure; it's the signal your ceiling is about to become your new floor.
Takeaways:
- The Five-Year Challenge: The ultimate wake-up call: Don't wake up stagnant and full of regret. Choose meaningful growth today.
- The TFA Framework: Same TFA = Same Results. Change at least one lever (Thoughts, Feelings, or Actions) for change.
- Action Before Readiness: Do it scared, do it now! Action creates clarity. Stepping before you feel ready builds the necessary proof.
- Blind Spot Reality: You will never see your own blind spots. Outside voices (coaches) are essential for reframing limiting beliefs and interrupting stale patterns.
- Growth is Tiered: When you hit a ceiling, retool your TFA. That ceiling becomes your new floor.
- The Choice to Grow: Progress over comfort. Hard conversations unlock the leap—choose the challenge.
Ready to trade stagnation for an upward success cycle? Hit play.
- How to achieve meaningful growth in the next five years.
- The Thoughts Feelings Actions (TFA) model for change.
- Why outside perspective is necessary for personal growth (blind spots).
- How to stop repeating the same conflicts with your spouse.
- Do it scared motto for procrastination.
- What to do when your efforts only result in the passage of time.
- How to turn a ceiling into a new floor.
- "What is the Thoughts x Feelings x Actions (TFA) model for change?"
- "Why is it hard to see your own blind spots in personal growth?"
- "How does growth move in tiers, and what
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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.
*Previously Recorded
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and startLiving Lucky®.
Good morning.
I'm Jana Shelfer.
I'm Jason.
And we are Living Lucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:19):
You are too.
Read the quote, Jason.
Read the quote.
So five years from now, willyour efforts have resulted in
meaningful growth or merely thepassage of time?
Jana Shelfer (00:31):
Oh, for some reason that hit home for me
today.
Jason Shelfer (00:35):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (00:36):
Because it really puts a light on do we want to
get into our uncomfortable zone?
Jason Shelfer (00:44):
Yeah.
And it's one of those thingswhere the the thing that we're
avoiding doing, will it still bethere tomorrow?
Jana Shelfer (00:51):
Or five years from now.
Just like you said.
I don't want to wake up andsay, I'm 55 years old and I'm
still waiting for this.
I'm still waiting for myfinancial growth.
Jason Shelfer (01:03):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (01:03):
I don't want to wake up five years from now and
say, I'm 55 years old and I amstill waiting for my promotion.
Or trying to mend thoserelationships with family.
Or right?
Jason Shelfer (01:17):
Yeah, I'm still waiting to to forgive someone.
I'm waiting for that apology.
I'm waiting for whatever.
Jana Shelfer (01:23):
I'm still waiting for that internal motivation or
inspiration.
Jason Shelfer (01:27):
Oh, so big.
Jana Shelfer (01:29):
When we just need to almost, I don't want to say
fake it until we make it, butfor there is a little step there
in jumping in to the feelingyou want to have.
Jason Shelfer (01:41):
Well, you hear you hear so many people talk
about do it scared, do it now,like do it when you're not
ready.
Like do it, do it broke.
Do it like it's just the theact of doing will lead to the
act of having having and knowingreceiving and understanding a
deeper creating.
Like it's gonna get you closerto whatever it is that you're
(02:03):
you're craving or you'redesiring, or recognizing that
that's not exactly what you'relooking for.
Jana Shelfer (02:09):
And that's a hard truth.
Because sometimes we say, Yeah,I want to do this, and and
there is a little validation insaying, well, the universe just
didn't provide it for me, right?
Yeah, instead of saying, Did Ido my part?
Did I show up?
Did I play full out?
And if the universe isn'tproviding for you, is there
(02:32):
something subconsciously orunconsciously that is saying, I
don't know if I really want todo that, because then it would
change and people would see medifferently.
And do you know what I'msaying?
Like there are those underlyinglimiting beliefs that are
unseen and sometimes not evenknown to ourselves.
Jason Shelfer (02:53):
That's so big.
And that's that's somethingthat's like, how badly do I want
it?
And am I willing to talk tosomeone about it so I can start
uncovering what those are insideme?
Jana Shelfer (03:06):
No, I we just had this yesterday, last night, I I
had like an hour where I mywheels were spinning.
When I say my wheels arespinning, even though I'm in a
wheelchair, it was in my head.
Jason Shelfer (03:22):
Yeah, it's not a literal wheels spinning.
Jana Shelfer (03:24):
When I say my wheels are spinning, that means
I just have thoughts that aregoing all in my head.
And I literally said, I reallyfeel like I need someone to talk
to about, and I'm just gonna betransparent about my finances.
Yeah.
I felt like I needed someone totalk to about my finances, and
(03:47):
Jason was sitting there, likeliterally, he gave me this look
like, I'm here.
Uh you can talk to me.
However, I felt like I needed Ineeded someone on the outside
to tell me where my blind spotsare.
Right.
And to tell me why I keepcreating the same patterns over
(04:08):
and over.
Like, where is the breakthroughthat I am not seeing myself?
Because we've said it before,it's hard to read the label on
the bottle when you're insidethe bottle.
Jason Shelfer (04:18):
Yes.
And it's also hard to um hearthings in under your own roof.
And if you're a parent outthere, if you're a spouse out
there, what you'll recognize isespecially if you're a spouse.
So I'll talk from the placewhere we we know.
Yeah, like your spouse can tellyou something over and over and
over again, and then as soon asyou hear it from someone else
(04:40):
at a party, yes, you're like, ohmy gosh, that makes perfect
sense.
And your spouse is sitting overthere dumbfounded, going, I've
been telling you this for thepast 10 years.
Jana Shelfer (04:48):
And you know, I I will give you that, but I also
will say, not a but, but an andwhen we have the same
conversation that we've had forthe last five years, I get the
same answers from Jason, whichliterally says, believe in
yourself, right?
Have faith, you've goteverything you need.
(05:10):
And I I am saying, I'm hittinga roadblock.
I need someone to tell me wheremy blind spot is.
Jason Shelfer (05:19):
And the other part of that is is you're
getting it the same way.
So that's it's like I I give itto you in the language that I
know, and I and so and sometimesit comes back in, Jana.
Jana Shelfer (05:33):
There you go again.
Jason Shelfer (05:34):
Right.
Jana Shelfer (05:35):
Like you're you're bringing us down.
And so then I I like push itunder the rug and go, okay, pop
into you know where I want togo.
Jason Shelfer (05:44):
Right.
And this was nothing about you.
So I so you heard it as mesaying, you're hearing it from
me over and over again.
I'm talking about things thatyou've told me.
Jana Shelfer (05:54):
I yeah, it goes both ways.
It goes both ways.
And we can, I think it's funnythat we can bring this to light.
Jason Shelfer (06:03):
Well, we laugh about it now because we've
dissected our our communicationskills.
Jana Shelfer (06:09):
I will say though, I mean, seriously, since Jason
and I started our business, wedo sometimes have the same
conversations over and over andover, and we react the same and
we've gotten to where, okay,well, I know that this is gonna
upset, you know, this might bepoking the bear of Jason.
(06:30):
So then I just don't talk aboutit.
Yeah, or I just push it down.
However, when you read thatquote, where do you want to be
in five years?
I don't want to be having thissame conversation.
So there is something whereboth of us need to lean into it
and realize, okay, what are wenot seeing?
Jason Shelfer (06:52):
And and what it do you remember what I said last
night?
Is we will never see our ownblind spots.
Jana Shelfer (06:58):
You did say that.
Jason Shelfer (06:58):
And that's why we have our own coaches, and
that's why we we do recognizewhen we say, how can we think
about this differently?
And then we forget, um when wereach the end of our how we see
things differently, we go lookfor who can we go to that will
help us see that differently.
(07:18):
Yes, and that's that's onething that we we didn't
understand before.
Jana Shelfer (07:24):
That is true.
Jason Shelfer (07:25):
Like I remember when we got our first coach, you
know, and it blew my socks off.
It blew mine too.
Because I was like, how muchare we paying this guy?
Jana Shelfer (07:34):
But also have we really been living in like our
own little bubble?
But that's what happens.
We live in our own littlebubble.
Jason Shelfer (07:41):
What I didn't recognize was that I had been
doing literally getting up,taking the same route to work,
talking to the same people,feeling the same feelings.
Jana Shelfer (07:54):
We have the same thoughts, the same feelings,
which is the recipe for the sameresult.
Jason Shelfer (08:00):
Oh my god, say that again.
Jana Shelfer (08:02):
Same thoughts, same feelings, which we start
taking the same actions, andthat is the recipe for the same
result.
And so if you go back to thequote that Jason read, read it
again.
Jason Shelfer (08:14):
Five years from now, will your efforts have
resulted in meaningful growth ormerely the passage of time?
Jana Shelfer (08:22):
So we either need to change up the thoughts,
change up the feelings, orchange up the actions.
And either one of those willequal a different result.
Yes.
The the thing that we'restressing today is having the
recognition and the awareawareness or wherewithal to know
(08:44):
that I need to do this now,otherwise, five years from now,
I'm just gonna be five yearsolder.
And the regret starts fittingin.
Jason Shelfer (08:53):
Do you know what I'm saying?
100%.
And I will tell you that duringthat time where everything was
the same, I would go to bed atnight and say, tomorrow is gonna
be different.
That's the word track that wasin my head.
I would say, I would therewould be words like, okay, today
sucked.
Tomorrow will be different,next week will be different.
(09:15):
And it and but nothing changed.
That's that's the horrible partof it.
That that was the like lookingback on it, that was part of it.
But I was I was making it, Iwas making ends meet.
I was I was actually doing verywell financially.
I wasn't doing very wellemotionally, spiritually, like,
(09:36):
like things were okay, so justthe same every day.
Jana Shelfer (09:40):
All right, so let's go back to the example
from yesterday.
Jason and I have literally hadthe same conversation, and it
ends in the same conflict.
And throughout the last fiveyears, and it has to do with
finances, so I'll just put thatout there and be transparent.
It has to do with finances.
And literally, I have taken twoyears to realize I need to
(10:04):
change my thoughts about this,and we still have the same
sneaky thoughts coming back.
We still no, I believe Ichanged my thoughts.
We still had the samechallenge.
So then for the next two years,I started changing my feelings
about it.
I started changing my feelings.
You know what?
(10:24):
He's right.
I just need to have faith andstep in this.
Yesterday it dawned on me.
I need to change my actions.
I need to change my actions.
And when you get all of thosein line, your thoughts, your
feelings, your actions, that'swhen you start getting the
results that you want to have.
(10:44):
Am I right?
Jason Shelfer (10:45):
Yes, and today we have different results.
Jana Shelfer (10:48):
And this morning, what was so crazy is this
morning we started taking stepstoward different results.
Jason Shelfer (10:56):
Yes, massive results.
Jana Shelfer (10:58):
Is it comfortable?
Hell no.
But it will become scary?
Hell yes.
Jason Shelfer (11:04):
But it will become the new norm.
And then what's gonna happen iswe're gonna hit this new
ceiling, and we'll have to havethis new change in feelings,
change in um thoughts, change inactions.
And we just have to rememberthis.
Come back to this podcast.
Jana Shelfer (11:21):
This podcast.
Because it's literally taken usfive years.
We've had the same conflict.
I don't even want to call it aconflict, the same challenge
between the two of us.
And it literally we have this,it always falls into the same
patterns.
And until both of us startthinking differently, start
(11:44):
feeling differently, and startacting differently, that is the
recipe for change.
Jason Shelfer (11:50):
Yeah, and I and that's where I think this when
when people say that saying, Momoney, mo problems, yes, it's
not more money, more problems.
It's literally that there weall keep running into this
tiered system of we hit this newceiling, and then we s we need
to change our thoughts, ourfeelings, and our actions.
Jana Shelfer (12:09):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (12:10):
And we just don't recognize, okay, where where am
I hitting that new ceiling so Ican make that new ceiling my
new floor?
Yes.
And I just have to breakthrough that.
And it's it's everybody hasthat little tiered system, and
sometimes we just refuse to havethese open conversations
between couples or betweenfriends or in whatever it is.
Jana Shelfer (12:30):
Why do we refuse to have these conversations?
Because we either know it'sgonna hurt our own feelings or
it's gonna hurt our spouse'sfeelings.
Am I right?
Jason Shelfer (12:38):
That's so right.
Jana Shelfer (12:39):
Because I know that there's there's a soft
spot, it's almost like pickingthe scab of a wound, and and you
realize that that wound maybehas been there for decades.
Jason Shelfer (12:53):
And that again goes back to where do you want
to be in five years?
Do you want to be the same ordo you want to grow?
Do you want to grow together ordo you do you just want to be
the same?
Jana Shelfer (13:04):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (13:04):
And it can be okay to be the same, but you
need to actually start thinkingabout that.
Is it, am I okay beingstagnant?
Jana Shelfer (13:14):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (13:15):
Because because stagnant five years from now,
depending on where you are inlife, is very different than
being stagnant 20 years from nowwhen there's there's uh a world
is moving so quickly nowadays.
Because you don't know whatthat might look like.
Jana Shelfer (13:31):
Oh, okay.
So let's just tie this up.
Jason, can you read the quoteone more time?
Because this has totally beenlife-changing for me today.
Go.
Jason Shelfer (13:39):
Five years from now, will your efforts have
resulted in meaningful growth ormerely the passage of time?
Jana Shelfer (13:46):
Oh everyone that's listening right now, let's all
just pretend we're looking in amirror five years from now.
You got a few more lines, yougot a few more laugh wrinkles,
you your hair is a little bit ofa different color.
You might have a pound more ora pound less.
Well, if you're stagnant,you're probably do you want to
(14:09):
see in that mirror?
And I know for me, I just wantto experience life.
I want to grow and I want tolook in that mirror five years
from now.
And I want to say, Jana, I amso proud of how far you've come.
Jason Shelfer (14:26):
Look how far we've come.
Let's not stop here.
Jana Shelfer (14:28):
I love it.
Thanks for joining us.
Keep Living Lucky®.
Bye bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at
livinglucky.com.
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and startLiving Lucky®.
Good morning.
I'm Jana Shelfer.
I'm Jason.
And we are Living Lucky®.
Jason Shelfer (00:19):
You are too.
Read the quote, Jason.
Read the quote.
So five years from now, willyour efforts have resulted in
meaningful growth or merely thepassage of time?
Jana Shelfer (00:31):
Oh, for some reason that hit home for me
today.
Jason Shelfer (00:35):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (00:36):
Because it really puts a light on do we want to
get into our uncomfortable zone?
Jason Shelfer (00:44):
Yeah.
And it's one of those thingswhere the the thing that we're
avoiding doing, will it still bethere tomorrow?
Jana Shelfer (00:51):
Or five years from now.
Just like you said.
I don't want to wake up andsay, I'm 55 years old and I'm
still waiting for this.
I'm still waiting for myfinancial growth.
Jason Shelfer (01:03):
Yeah.
Jana Shelfer (01:03):
I don't want to wake up five years from now and
say, I'm 55 years old and I amstill waiting for my promotion.
Or trying to mend thoserelationships with family.
Or right?
Jason Shelfer (01:17):
Yeah, I'm still waiting to to forgive someone.
I'm waiting for that apology.
I'm waiting for whatever.
Jana Shelfer (01:23):
I'm still waiting for that internal motivation or
inspiration.
Jason Shelfer (01:27):
Oh, so big.
Jana Shelfer (01:29):
When we just need to almost, I don't want to say
fake it until we make it, butfor there is a little step there
in jumping in to the feelingyou want to have.
Jason Shelfer (01:41):
Well, you hear you hear so many people talk
about do it scared, do it now,like do it when you're not
ready.
Like do it, do it broke.
Do it like it's just the theact of doing will lead to the
act of having having and knowingreceiving and understanding a
deeper creating.
Like it's gonna get you closerto whatever it is that you're
(02:03):
you're craving or you'redesiring, or recognizing that
that's not exactly what you'relooking for.
Jana Shelfer (02:09):
And that's a hard truth.
Because sometimes we say, Yeah,I want to do this, and and
there is a little validation insaying, well, the universe just
didn't provide it for me, right?
Yeah, instead of saying, Did Ido my part?
Did I show up?
Did I play full out?
And if the universe isn'tproviding for you, is there
(02:32):
something subconsciously orunconsciously that is saying, I
don't know if I really want todo that, because then it would
change and people would see medifferently.
And do you know what I'msaying?
Like there are those underlyinglimiting beliefs that are
unseen and sometimes not evenknown to ourselves.
Jason Shelfer (02:53):
That's so big.
And that's that's somethingthat's like, how badly do I want
it?
And am I willing to talk tosomeone about it so I can start
uncovering what those are insideme?
Jana Shelfer (03:06):
No, I we just had this yesterday, last night, I I
had like an hour where I mywheels were spinning.
When I say my wheels arespinning, even though I'm in a
wheelchair, it was in my head.
Jason Shelfer (03:22):
Yeah, it's not a literal wheels spinning.
Jana Shelfer (03:24):
When I say my wheels are spinning, that means
I just have thoughts that aregoing all in my head.
And I literally said, I reallyfeel like I need someone to talk
to about, and I'm just gonna betransparent about my finances.
Yeah.
I felt like I needed someone totalk to about my finances, and
(03:47):
Jason was sitting there, likeliterally, he gave me this look
like, I'm here.
Uh you can talk to me.
However, I felt like I needed Ineeded someone on the outside
to tell me where my blind spotsare.
Right.
And to tell me why I keepcreating the same patterns over
(04:08):
and over.
Like, where is the breakthroughthat I am not seeing myself?
Because we've said it before,it's hard to read the label on
the bottle when you're insidethe bottle.
Jason Shelfer (04:18):
Yes.
And it's also hard to um hearthings in under your own roof.
And if you're a parent outthere, if you're a spouse out
there, what you'll recognize isespecially if you're a spouse.
So I'll talk from the placewhere we we know.
Yeah, like your spouse can tellyou something over and over and
over again, and then as soon asyou hear it from someone else
(04:40):
at a party, yes, you're like, ohmy gosh, that makes perfect
sense.
And your spouse is sitting overthere dumbfounded, going, I've
been telling you this for thepast 10 years.
Jana Shelfer (04:48):
And you know, I I will give you that, but I also
will say, not a but, but an andwhen we have the same
conversation that we've had forthe last five years, I get the
same answers from Jason, whichliterally says, believe in
yourself, right?
Have faith, you've goteverything you need.
(05:10):
And I I am saying, I'm hittinga roadblock.
I need someone to tell me wheremy blind spot is.
Jason Shelfer (05:19):
And the other part of that is is you're
getting it the same way.
So that's it's like I I give itto you in the language that I
know, and I and so and sometimesit comes back in, Jana.
Jana Shelfer (05:33):
There you go again.
Jason Shelfer (05:34):
Right.
Jana Shelfer (05:35):
Like you're you're bringing us down.
And so then I I like push itunder the rug and go, okay, pop
into you know where I want togo.
Jason Shelfer (05:44):
Right.
And this was nothing about you.
So I so you heard it as mesaying, you're hearing it from
me over and over again.
I'm talking about things thatyou've told me.
Jana Shelfer (05:54):
I yeah, it goes both ways.
It goes both ways.
And we can, I think it's funnythat we can bring this to light.
Jason Shelfer (06:03):
Well, we laugh about it now because we've
dissected our our communicationskills.
Jana Shelfer (06:09):
I will say though, I mean, seriously, since Jason
and I started our business, wedo sometimes have the same
conversations over and over andover, and we react the same and
we've gotten to where, okay,well, I know that this is gonna
upset, you know, this might bepoking the bear of Jason.
(06:30):
So then I just don't talk aboutit.
Yeah, or I just push it down.
However, when you read thatquote, where do you want to be
in five years?
I don't want to be having thissame conversation.
So there is something whereboth of us need to lean into it
and realize, okay, what are wenot seeing?
Jason Shelfer (06:52):
And and what it do you remember what I said last
night?
Is we will never see our ownblind spots.
Jana Shelfer (06:58):
You did say that.
Jason Shelfer (06:58):
And that's why we have our own coaches, and
that's why we we do recognizewhen we say, how can we think
about this differently?
And then we forget, um when wereach the end of our how we see
things differently, we go lookfor who can we go to that will
help us see that differently.
(07:18):
Yes, and that's that's onething that we we didn't
understand before.
Jana Shelfer (07:24):
That is true.
Jason Shelfer (07:25):
Like I remember when we got our first coach, you
know, and it blew my socks off.
It blew mine too.
Because I was like, how muchare we paying this guy?
Jana Shelfer (07:34):
But also have we really been living in like our
own little bubble?
But that's what happens.
We live in our own littlebubble.
Jason Shelfer (07:41):
What I didn't recognize was that I had been
doing literally getting up,taking the same route to work,
talking to the same people,feeling the same feelings.
Jana Shelfer (07:54):
We have the same thoughts, the same feelings,
which is the recipe for the sameresult.
Jason Shelfer (08:00):
Oh my god, say that again.
Jana Shelfer (08:02):
Same thoughts, same feelings, which we start
taking the same actions, andthat is the recipe for the same
result.
And so if you go back to thequote that Jason read, read it
again.
Jason Shelfer (08:14):
Five years from now, will your efforts have
resulted in meaningful growth ormerely the passage of time?
Jana Shelfer (08:22):
So we either need to change up the thoughts,
change up the feelings, orchange up the actions.
And either one of those willequal a different result.
Yes.
The the thing that we'restressing today is having the
recognition and the awareawareness or wherewithal to know
(08:44):
that I need to do this now,otherwise, five years from now,
I'm just gonna be five yearsolder.
And the regret starts fittingin.
Jason Shelfer (08:53):
Do you know what I'm saying?
100%.
And I will tell you that duringthat time where everything was
the same, I would go to bed atnight and say, tomorrow is gonna
be different.
That's the word track that wasin my head.
I would say, I would therewould be words like, okay, today
sucked.
Tomorrow will be different,next week will be different.
(09:15):
And it and but nothing changed.
That's that's the horrible partof it.
That that was the like lookingback on it, that was part of it.
But I was I was making it, Iwas making ends meet.
I was I was actually doing verywell financially.
I wasn't doing very wellemotionally, spiritually, like,
(09:36):
like things were okay, so justthe same every day.
Jana Shelfer (09:40):
All right, so let's go back to the example
from yesterday.
Jason and I have literally hadthe same conversation, and it
ends in the same conflict.
And throughout the last fiveyears, and it has to do with
finances, so I'll just put thatout there and be transparent.
It has to do with finances.
And literally, I have taken twoyears to realize I need to
(10:04):
change my thoughts about this,and we still have the same
sneaky thoughts coming back.
We still no, I believe Ichanged my thoughts.
We still had the samechallenge.
So then for the next two years,I started changing my feelings
about it.
I started changing my feelings.
You know what?
(10:24):
He's right.
I just need to have faith andstep in this.
Yesterday it dawned on me.
I need to change my actions.
I need to change my actions.
And when you get all of thosein line, your thoughts, your
feelings, your actions, that'swhen you start getting the
results that you want to have.
(10:44):
Am I right?
Jason Shelfer (10:45):
Yes, and today we have different results.
Jana Shelfer (10:48):
And this morning, what was so crazy is this
morning we started taking stepstoward different results.
Jason Shelfer (10:56):
Yes, massive results.
Jana Shelfer (10:58):
Is it comfortable?
Hell no.
But it will become scary?
Hell yes.
Jason Shelfer (11:04):
But it will become the new norm.
And then what's gonna happen iswe're gonna hit this new
ceiling, and we'll have to havethis new change in feelings,
change in um thoughts, change inactions.
And we just have to rememberthis.
Come back to this podcast.
Jana Shelfer (11:21):
This podcast.
Because it's literally taken usfive years.
We've had the same conflict.
I don't even want to call it aconflict, the same challenge
between the two of us.
And it literally we have this,it always falls into the same
patterns.
And until both of us startthinking differently, start
(11:44):
feeling differently, and startacting differently, that is the
recipe for change.
Jason Shelfer (11:50):
Yeah, and I and that's where I think this when
when people say that saying, Momoney, mo problems, yes, it's
not more money, more problems.
It's literally that there weall keep running into this
tiered system of we hit this newceiling, and then we s we need
to change our thoughts, ourfeelings, and our actions.
Jana Shelfer (12:09):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (12:10):
And we just don't recognize, okay, where where am
I hitting that new ceiling so Ican make that new ceiling my
new floor?
Yes.
And I just have to breakthrough that.
And it's it's everybody hasthat little tiered system, and
sometimes we just refuse to havethese open conversations
between couples or betweenfriends or in whatever it is.
Jana Shelfer (12:30):
Why do we refuse to have these conversations?
Because we either know it'sgonna hurt our own feelings or
it's gonna hurt our spouse'sfeelings.
Am I right?
Jason Shelfer (12:38):
That's so right.
Jana Shelfer (12:39):
Because I know that there's there's a soft
spot, it's almost like pickingthe scab of a wound, and and you
realize that that wound maybehas been there for decades.
Jason Shelfer (12:53):
And that again goes back to where do you want
to be in five years?
Do you want to be the same ordo you want to grow?
Do you want to grow together ordo you do you just want to be
the same?
Jana Shelfer (13:04):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (13:04):
And it can be okay to be the same, but you
need to actually start thinkingabout that.
Is it, am I okay beingstagnant?
Jana Shelfer (13:14):
Yes.
Jason Shelfer (13:15):
Because because stagnant five years from now,
depending on where you are inlife, is very different than
being stagnant 20 years from nowwhen there's there's uh a world
is moving so quickly nowadays.
Because you don't know whatthat might look like.
Jana Shelfer (13:31):
Oh, okay.
So let's just tie this up.
Jason, can you read the quoteone more time?
Because this has totally beenlife-changing for me today.
Go.
Jason Shelfer (13:39):
Five years from now, will your efforts have
resulted in meaningful growth ormerely the passage of time?
Jana Shelfer (13:46):
Oh everyone that's listening right now, let's all
just pretend we're looking in amirror five years from now.
You got a few more lines, yougot a few more laugh wrinkles,
you your hair is a little bit ofa different color.
You might have a pound more ora pound less.
Well, if you're stagnant,you're probably do you want to
(14:09):
see in that mirror?
And I know for me, I just wantto experience life.
I want to grow and I want tolook in that mirror five years
from now.
And I want to say, Jana, I amso proud of how far you've come.
Jason Shelfer (14:26):
Look how far we've come.
Let's not stop here.
Jana Shelfer (14:28):
I love it.
Thanks for joining us.
Keep Living Lucky®.
Bye bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at
livinglucky.com.
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