Where Happiness Goes to Die

Where Happiness Goes to Die: The Power of Appreciation (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Is your happiness dying? On this powerful Living Lucky® Podcast episode, Jason and Jana Banana Shelfer reveal a profound truth: "Lack of appreciation is where your happiness goes to die." Dive deep into how your perception dictates your reality and why focusing on what you lack creates a "doom loop of negativity."

Using the iconic Good Will Hunting scene, discover how shifting your focus from missed opportunities to gained blessings (like Robin Williams' character) can instantly transform your mindset and experience. We candidly explore the dangers of "comparisonitis" on social media and how it subtly tells your subconscious, "You don't have enough."

Learn from Napoleon Hill's wisdom that true happiness is "wanting everything you already have," and embrace Lisa Nichols' brilliant metaphor: gratitude isn't just positive thinking, it's the fertilizer for all your dreams and potential. This episode challenges you to find humor and appreciation in life's challenges as they unfold, rather than waiting years for the punchline.

Jan shares a personal story of finding joy in past Paralympic team tribulations, demonstrating how embracing the journey – challenges and all – creates profound personal development. The ultimate takeaway? What you appreciate, appreciates. This isn't just philosophy; it's a direct path to an upward success cycle and abundance.

Ready to break free from the comparison trap, cultivate profound gratitude, and start living with unstoppable joy? Tune in for actionable self-help insights that will transform your reality. Discover the power of appreciation and start Living Lucky®!

• How to increase happiness with appreciation?
• The power of gratitude in personal development.
• How to stop comparing yourself to others?
• Understanding the "doom loop of negativity."
• Napoleon Hill quotes on happiness and appreciation. Lisa Nichols on gratitude and potential. Finding joy in difficult times. What you appreciate, appreciates meaning. Self-help tips for cultivating gratitude. Transforming your reality with appreciation. What kills happiness? What is the power of appreciation? How does comparison affect happiness? Is gratitude a fertilizer for dreams? How can I f

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Episode Transcript

Jana Shelfer (00:00):
Are you ready to create a life you crave?
Let's spin that doom loop ofnegativity into an upward
success cycle and start LivingLucky®.
Good morning, I'm Jan, I'mJason and we are Living Lucky®.
You are too Lack of appreciationis where your happiness goes to

(00:24):
die.

Jason Shelfer (00:25):
Wow.

Jana Shelfer (00:26):
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom I
mean, that was my pinball, thatwas your fireworks.

Jason Shelfer (00:31):
I mean we are in the month of July.

Jana Shelfer (00:33):
Yes.

Jason Shelfer (00:34):
So fireworks are appropriate.

Jana Shelfer (00:35):
I was thinking more of the pinball balls.
Okay, yeah, Like whoop, whoop,whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop
Jackpot.

Jason Shelfer (00:39):
Yes, that's when you cash out right, that's right
, because you got three cherriesall the way across.
Oh, that's funny.

Jana Shelfer (00:46):
Lack of appreciation is where your
happiness goes to die.
And the reason we're talkingabout this today is because
yesterday I was talking to myold teammate we're practicing
our speech that we're going tomake, and Jason overheard in the
other room how happy I was andhow we were reminiscing about

(01:08):
the old days and the good times.

Jason Shelfer (01:12):
Yeah, it was a beautiful journey and watching
you piece together all theselittle nuggets of the journey
you went through on this Olympic12 years that you spent to get
gold in Greece, and it remindedme of the scene from Good Will
Hunting where Matt Damon and ohwe love this movie.
Matt Damon and Robin Williamsare discussing.

(01:35):
I just got goosebumps.

Jana Shelfer (01:37):
Robin Williams plays the counselor slash mentor
.

Jason Shelfer (01:42):
Yeah, and I think he was a teacher and also was
he a therapist.
Yeah, a little bit of both, ormaybe I'm confusing a movie
where he was the teacher.
So he was a therapist in GoodWill Hunting, but he's talking
about meeting his wife and hiswife died.
But he had tickets to game sixof a world series which the Red
Sox were playing.

Jana Shelfer (02:03):
Which he had camped out all night with his
friends to get these tickets.

Jason Shelfer (02:06):
Yes, but he didn't go to the game.

Jana Shelfer (02:08):
And he gave his ticket away.

Jason Shelfer (02:10):
And Will or Matt Damon is saying you didn't go to
the game, how do you not go tothis game, game six of the world
series?
And he's like I don't regret ita bit Like this is where I met
my wife.
This is like, and RobinWilliams talks about how this
was the most beautifulexperience of his life.
He didn't even know her, but he, he, this, he found the joy in

(02:32):
everything that he did and hesaid whereas many times we find
fault in the choices that wemade.
Yeah so when?

Jana Shelfer (02:40):
really, if we just look at the appreciation of all
the choices that we have madein our life, it fills us with
this awe 100%.

Jason Shelfer (02:51):
So Matt Damon was focused on what Robin Williams
missed.

Jana Shelfer (02:55):
Yes.

Jason Shelfer (02:56):
And Robin Williams was focused on
everything that he gained.

Jana Shelfer (02:59):
Yes.

Jason Shelfer (03:00):
And so that's where the lack of appreciation
in our current path is, where welose our happiness, robin
Williams is saying yeah, becausewe get compariditis.
Comparisonitis, comparisonitis.
Thank you, compariditis.
If you want to shorten it.

Jana Shelfer (03:16):
It's not a made up word.

Jason Shelfer (03:17):
That's a Bill Furbish word, I think.
Okay, that's our ski coach.

Jana Shelfer (03:20):
Comparisonitis and you start looking at everyone
around you.
I mean I say this every time Igo on social media.
In fact, sometimes I go radiosilent on social media for years
, Just so you don't have to lookat it, at a time, just because
it feels to me when I startscrolling or when things start
popping up, I think, huh, I'mnot sure this is Well.

Jason Shelfer (03:44):
I think our tendency sometimes is to see
what's available and say why notme?
Yet?
Right, there's something insideme that tends to go to.

Jana Shelfer (03:59):
everyone else is getting it and for some reason
I'm missing some big piece tothe puzzle.

Jason Shelfer (04:03):
Right.
And so when we say I want it,our subconscious is saying I
don't have it.
And instead of when you're inyour gratitude journals and when
you're in this place ofgratitude, like high intensity
gratitude, then you are fillingyourself with.
I have massive abundance.

Jana Shelfer (04:30):
Right delusion like oh my God, look at
everything I've done and I'vecreated and all the wonderful
people that have come to my path, and it's almost this overflow
of.

Jason Shelfer (04:42):
So which energy feels better?
So that's what I'm going to ask, because I would submit that
when we are in that feeling ofoverflow and that energy of wow,
my life is incredible, yes, weshow up significantly
differently than oh my gosh,nothing's working out.

(05:03):
I don't have it yet.
I missed the ball game.

Jana Shelfer (05:06):
Yeah, I missed the greatest baseball catch of all
time.

Jason Shelfer (05:12):
I could have been a contender.

Jana Shelfer (05:13):
I could have, should have, would have.
Yeah, if I had to do it allagain.
There's a massive difference.

Jason Shelfer (05:20):
So, when we seek to find that joy and the peace
in our current journey becauseeverything happens for a reason
we are all in this spiritualcurriculum every single day.
And what if we say I'm on theright path on my own personal
pace and I'm learning it as I goand it's okay?

Jana Shelfer (05:42):
Yeah, you know, I remember I think it was Napoleon
Hill said that true happinessis when you want everything you
already have.
That true happiness is when youwant everything you already
have, and really all he's sayingwas change your perspective to
appreciate where you are now andsometimes, when we're

(06:10):
experiencing it, we can startfocusing on the worry or the
uncertainty or the doubt or the-.

Jason Shelfer (06:13):
All the negative aspects of it.

Jana Shelfer (06:14):
Yes, and I don't even want to call them negative
aspects, because there issometimes an energy that can be
motivating in those states, solet's not call it negative,
let's say, let's just getcurious about the wholeness of
it.

Jason Shelfer (06:28):
Yes, and that's one of Because is there a
negative or a positive?
Yes, but it's how we, what ourperspective is on it, or
perception, perception.

Jana Shelfer (06:39):
Perspective perception.
Really, that's what it allcomes down to and when you
realize that you have the powerto change your feelings about
things or just choose newfeelings.

Jason Shelfer (06:50):
I love that you said power, because if you're
feeling disempowered, then youhave the opportunity to change
your perception or perspective,to get the power back.
And if you want the power back,I submit that if you find the
gratitude and the joy that isgoing to recharge you and give

(07:10):
you power into the situation, itreally is the most obvious tool
that we have and yet it feelsso simple and so almost beneath
us.

Jana Shelfer (07:22):
At times it's childish, it feels kindergarten.

Jason Shelfer (07:25):
Yes, it seems childish and it's often one of
the most ignored thing, becausewe think it needs to be money,
it needs to be influence, itneeds to be all these things.
However, gratitude,appreciation, joy is an
amplifier that will actuallycreate all those other things.

Jana Shelfer (07:42):
Yes, it's almost.
We see it over and, over andover again.
I heard Lisa Nichols speak onetime and she said in the garden,
you've got all of these skillsand all of this potential and
all of these dreams right.
However, the fertilizer in thatgarden is gratitude right, and

(08:06):
just being grateful for whereyou are and what's happening now
, in the present moment.

Jason Shelfer (08:13):
Wow, that's so big.
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
And the thing is we see this,and the beauty of it is is we
see it over and, over and overand again, but a lot of times
you see it in hindsight.
You see it right behind you, inthe shadow.
And how do we bring that shadow?
How do we get in the 12 o'clocksun, where the sun is right
over us?
And we see it right in thepresent moment, so we can take

(08:36):
the most advantage of it.

Jana Shelfer (08:45):
Oh, this is really profound, thank you.
Sometimes we just need toremind ourselves to appreciate
the journey.

Jason Shelfer (08:47):
Yeah, Because what you appreciate appreciates.
And how would you like I?

Jana Shelfer (08:51):
know, and that is a little bit scary to me because
I think, gosh, what?
If I appreciate the trials andtribulations that I'm having now
, then I'm going to create evenmore of that.
So I have to be careful, eventhough they say you know it's in
the struggle that-.
Growth happens, yes, I'm like Idon't want to appreciate it too

(09:13):
much.

Jason Shelfer (09:13):
I don't want to grow too much Well, so it just
felt so fun for me because I wasout sitting on the couch
checking my stocks.

Jana Shelfer (09:24):
Oh, I thought you were going to say jacking off,
oh my gosh.

Jason Shelfer (09:27):
Checking my stocks.
What did you?

Jana Shelfer (09:28):
say oh checking.

Jason Shelfer (09:29):
I was checking my stocks.

Jana Shelfer (09:31):
Okay, thank you.

Jason Shelfer (09:32):
Let's clarify that one On the couch yesterday
while you and Stephanie weregoing over your speech for the
Paralympic and Olympic Hall ofFame.

Jana Shelfer (09:39):
Yes.

Jason Shelfer (09:40):
And it just my heart, like I stopped looking at
my screen for a few minutes andI just enjoyed that moment.

Jana Shelfer (09:47):
Yes.

Jason Shelfer (09:48):
Of the laughter, the memories, all these things,
and I was like this just feelslike a beautiful, wonderful
journey, yeah, which obviouslyit is, because it landed you in
the Hall of Fame.

Jana Shelfer (10:00):
Right, but it was also.
I mean, it was fun to justreminisce of how we used to
travel in these giant horsetrailers, because we would need
extra room for all of ourwheelchairs.
All the equipment and the coachwould only get out one
wheelchair and say everybody hasto take turns using this one
wheelchair to go to the bathroom.

Jason Shelfer (10:20):
I am not unloading this whole trailer.

Jana Shelfer (10:22):
Right, and just those little moments that made
us laugh.

Jason Shelfer (10:27):
And the funny thing is though I bet it wasn't
super funny at the time itwasn't Like you're going, I need
to pee now, Go get my chair,and I don't want everyone else
peeing in my chair while they'reaway, and he was like there's
only one handicapped stallanyway, right.
But everyone's like I just wantto get off the bus, I want my
freedom, all this thing.
So if we could have taken thetime to find the joy, then it

(10:52):
would have been a differentexperience in that moment, and
this is exactly what we'retalking about.
Oh, my gosh, in that moment,and this is exactly what we're
talking about.
So in hindsight, we can findthat joy, we can find the humor.
It's like how can we laugh atthe joke while we're in it
instead of 25 years down theroad?

Jana Shelfer (11:08):
You have used that quote many times, just in our
everyday conversations.
But you're like laugh at thejoke while we're in it and then
I sit there and go.
Are we in a joke?

Jason Shelfer (11:18):
We're always in a joke Did.

Jana Shelfer (11:20):
I not get the punchline.
Did that one go over my?

Jason Shelfer (11:23):
head, Sometimes the worst times of our life.
We're actually just in a jokeof our own spiritual curriculum.
We're in a joke of our ownmaking.
It's just going to take 20years for the punchline to hit.

Jana Shelfer (11:34):
Oh my gosh.
There used to be a saying ifyou can't take the joke, If you
can't take the heat, get out ofthe kitchen.

Jason Shelfer (11:42):
That's a whole different thing.

Jana Shelfer (11:45):
All right, so let's wrap this up.
We started with sayingappreciate.
The lack of appreciation is thedeath of happiness.

Jason Shelfer (11:52):
Yes, where happiness goes to die.

Jana Shelfer (11:55):
So the opposite of that is, the more we appreciate
, the more we start tuning in tothe happiness that we already
have.

Jason Shelfer (12:03):
Yeah, so big Thank you.

Jana Shelfer (12:05):
I love it.

Jason Shelfer (12:06):
Thanks for joining us Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer (12:08):
Bye-bye.
If the idea of Living Lucky®appeals to you, visit us at www.
LivingLucky.
com.