108 | Parenting from Overflow, Not Empty (Ephesians Bible Study and Devotional)

Find the full episode here >>> LivingOnPurposeInChrist/blog

When the house finally quiets but your mind won’t, Ephesians offers a steadier way to breathe. We open the letter like a lifeline for tired parents and busy hearts, starting with Paul’s startling claim that we already have every spiritual blessing in Christ. From that foundation—chosen, redeemed, and sealed—we explore how identity shifts everything: the tone of our words, the way we handle conflict, the patience we extend, and the hope we carry into messy days.

We walk through the letter’s arc—from cosmic grace to kitchen-table practice. You’ll hear why maturity looks less like stockpiling knowledge and more like resembling Jesus in speech, forgiveness, and everyday choices. We trace unity that tears down walls, a love rooted wide and deep, and the invitation to “walk worthy” with humility, gentleness, and patience. Then we get concrete: putting off the old self, building the habit of kind speech, and imitating God as dearly loved children. We also unpack Paul’s vision for the home—mutual honor between spouses, discipline anchored in relationship, and parenting that disciples without provoking—and show how small rhythms can restore calm without adding pressure.

Finally, we name the battle beneath our battles: not against flesh and blood. The armor of God becomes a daily dress code, and prayer shifts from last resort to first move. If your heart needs a peace reset, you’ll find practical steps and a hopeful lens to carry into the week. Read Ephesians 1 slowly, let “chosen” and “sealed” settle your soul, and join us as we practice living from what’s already true. Follow, share this with a friend who needs biblical encouragement, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show.

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Episode Transcript

Paula Behrens (00:00):
Picture this for a moment.
It's late at night, the kidsare finally asleep, the dishes
are done, or mostly done, andthe house is quiet except for
the hum of the fridge and maybea few thoughts swirling in your
head.
You love your family deeply,but if you're honest, you're
tired.
You want to feel God's presencemore.
You want your faith to bevibrant again.

(00:21):
You want peace, not just a fewfleeting moments, but real peace
that lingers.
If that's where you are rightnow, Paul's letter to the
Ephesians is for you.
He wrote it to lift our eyesabove the daily grind and remind
us who we are in Christ andwhat that means for the way we
live, love, and parent.

(00:41):
It's like a heavenly pep talkmixed with a practical game
plan.
We'll dive deeper in just aminute, but first, a little bit
about my story.
When I first began my seminarywork while serving two church
congregations full-time,everyone assumed I had my daily
devotional time perfectlyorganized.
But truth be told, there weremornings I could barely find

(01:04):
five minutes to catch my breath,let alone dive into deep
reflection.
One day, as I rushed out thedoor with mismatched shoes, I
realized that even in my chaos,there was a lesson.
Embracing God's grace andself-forgiveness, I realized
that true success in mydevotional life requires
prioritizing my spiritualpractices.

(01:25):
Are you finding it challengingto maintain your spiritual
practices or yearning for a morepeaceful, God-aligned day?
I'm Paula, and I've been theretoo.
Balancing spiritual habits witha busy life can be difficult.
I longed for a deeperconnection with God but
struggled with consistency.
Then I found the perfectapproach.
If you seek simple ways todeepen your connection with God,

(01:48):
this podcast is for you.
Please take a moment to followthe show, leave a review, and
share with your friends who needa little biblical encouragement
today.
Hey friend, ever wonder how theAroma of Christ coaching hour
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(02:10):
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Then we'll spend a little timecultivating a simple rhythm that

(02:31):
fits seamlessly into your busylife.
Small steps that add up withoutoverwhelming your day.
By the end, you'll feelrefreshed, equipped, and ready
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Give yourself room to breathe.
Head on over now to PaulaBehrens.com/coaching to book

(02:53):
your spot.
That's Paula Behrens,B-E-H-R-E-N-S .com/coaching (no
spaces).
It's time to take that simplestep toward a calmer, more
connected you.
All right, let's get started.
Grab your coffee, open yourBible, take a deep breath, and
let's walk through this togetherchapter by chapter, heart to

(03:13):
heart.
Paul wrote Ephesians while hewas in prison in Rome.
Now, most of us can't imaginewriting something so uplifting
while sitting in a jail cell,but Paul did.
He wasn't discouraged.
He was full of joy andrevelation.
Ephesians isn't a lettercorrecting bad behavior or
solving church drama.
It's a letter meant to buildbelievers up, to show them the

(03:36):
fullness of what it means tobelong to Jesus.
It's often said that Ephesiansis divided into two parts.
If you think of it like a home,chapters one through three are
the foundation, solid, secure,and all about God's grace and
love.
Chapters four through six arethe framework, the way we build
our relationships, handleconflict, raise our kids, love

(03:59):
our spouses, and stand strong ina broken world.
Let's start from the beginningand see how Paul builds this
beautiful house of truth.
Right out of the gate, he tellsus that we are blessed with
every spiritual blessing in theheavenly places in Christ.
Now that's a big statement.
He's saying that God hasalready given us everything we

(04:22):
need spiritually.
It's already ours because ofJesus.
Before the world was evencreated, God chose you.
Think about that.
Long before you ever lost sleepover a toddler tantrum, or
worried about a teen's future,God had already written your
name into his story.
Paul uses this chapter toremind us of what's already

(04:45):
true.
You are loved by the Father,you are redeemed by the Son, you
are sealed by the Holy Spirit.
Now that word sealed means youbelong to Him permanently.
That means nothing can snatchyou away.
Then Paul prays somethingbeautiful.
He asks God that our eyes wouldbe opened to see the hope we

(05:08):
have, the riches of his glory,and the power that's available
to us as believers.
He's basically saying, I wantyou to realize how much you
already have in Christ.
Now, if you're a parent, that'sa powerful prayer to pray over
your kids and over yourself.
Paul doesn't sugarcoat thingshere either.

(05:30):
He reminds us that beforeChrist we were spiritually dead,
not limping, not wounded, butdead.
Then comes that wonderfulphrase, but God.
Those two words changeeverything.
But God, being rich in mercy,made us alive together with

(05:50):
Christ.
That means we didn't earn it.
We didn't deserve it.
It was grace, pure and simple.
We are saved by grace throughfaith, not by works, so that
none of us can boast.
And then Paul adds somethingthat's always made me smile.
He says, We are God'sworkmanship.

(06:11):
The Greek word here literallymeans masterpiece.
You are his masterpiece,created with purpose and on
purpose.
So the next time you feel likeyou're failing as a parent or
falling short as a believer,remember this: you are God's
handiwork, not your own.

(06:31):
He's shaping you, he's refiningyou, he's equipping you for
every good work he prepared foryou long ago.
Paul then talks about how Jesustore down the wall between Jews
and Gentiles, between us andthem.
In Christ, there's no division.
That means in your home, inyour church, in your heart,

(06:52):
unity is the goal.
God's family is built on unityand peace.
And that peace, it starts withyou.
When you rest in the fact thatyou belong to Him.
In chapter three, Paul getsreally personal.
He says that God gave him theincredible privilege of

(07:12):
revealing a mystery that hadbeen hidden for generations,
that Gentiles, that's everyonewho isn't Jewish, are now part
of the same promise.
We're all heirs together inChrist.
Now that's a big deal.
It means that no one is anoutsider in the family of God.
We're all loved, we're allinvited, and we're all included.

(07:34):
And once again, Paul burst intoprayer.
I love that about him.
He doesn't just teach, heprays.
He asks that believers would bestrengthened with power through
the Holy Spirit, that Christwould dwell in our hearts
through faith, and that we wouldbe rooted and grounded in love.
He prays that we would grasphow wide and long and high and

(07:55):
deep the love of Christ reallyis, and that we'd be filled with
the fullness of God.
This isn't just head knowledge,this is heart revelation.
Paul wants us to feel thatlove, to live in it and to allow
it to overflow.
As parents, that's what we needmost, isn't it?

(08:15):
We don't need another parentinghack.
We need to be filled with God'slove so we can love our kids
from a place of overflow, notexhaustion.
And then Paul ends with one ofthe most powerful declarations
in Scripture.
He says, Now to him who is ableto do immeasurably more than
all we ask or imagine, that'sour God.

(08:39):
When you've run out of ideas,energy, or patience, remember,
God's not limited by yourlimits.
This is where Paul shifts fromtheology to practicality.
He starts chapter 4 by saying,Therefore, walk in a manner
worthy of the calling you havereceived.
In other words, live out whatyou believe.

(09:02):
Paul reminds us that unitymatters, humility matters,
gentleness, patience, and love,these things build up the body
of Christ.
And just like in a family,unity doesn't happen by
accident.
It's something we fight for,something we pray for, and
something we protect.
He talks about how God gavedifferent gifts, apostles,

(09:24):
pastors, teachers, evangelists,to equip the church so that
everyone can grow up intospiritual maturity.
And here's something important.
Maturity isn't about knowingmore, it's about becoming more
and more like Christ.
It's when our faith becomesreal in how we talk, in how we
forgive, in how we treat others.

(09:46):
Paul says to put off the oldself, the version of us that's
angry, bitter, selfish, and toput on the new self created in
righteousness and holiness.
That's what sanctificationlooks like.
It's the daily process ofsaying, No, I'm not that person
anymore.
I'm new in Christ.

(10:07):
And this applies at home too.
When tempers flare, whenpatience runs thin, when life
feels messy, remember, you havethe Holy Spirit inside you
empowering you to respond withgrace.
Let your words build up, nottear down.
Let your kindness become yourhabit.
And if you blow it, rememberEphesians 4.32.

(10:28):
Be kind and compassionate,forgiving one another just as in
Christ God forgave you.
Paul keeps it going in chapter 5with a powerful statement
saying, Be imitators of God asdearly loved children.
You see, we imitate what wespend time around, right?
Kids imitate their parents.
And as God's children, we'remeant to imitate him.

(10:52):
Paul says to walk in love, justas Christ loved us and gave
himself up for us.
That's the pattern,sacrificial, unconditional love.
He warns us against things likesexual immorality, any kind of
impurity or greed, because theseare improper for God's holy
people.
Additionally, he cautionsagainst engaging in obscene or

(11:15):
coarse talk, as such behaviorspull us away from our true
identity in Christ.
Instead, he says to walk aschildren of light.
That means living with purity,honesty, joy, and integrity,
shining God's goodness in a darkworld.
And then Paul gives instructionsfor the home.
He says to submit to oneanother out of reverence for

(11:35):
Christ.
In other words, relationshipsin a Christian home should be
marked by mutual love, humility,and service, not control or
competition.
Husbands are called to lovetheir wives the way Christ loves
a church.
With gentleness, sacrifice, andprotection, wives are called to
respect and support theirhusbands.
Then Paul turns to parents andchildren.

(11:58):
He says, Children, obey yourparents in the Lord, for this is
right.
But he also says, Fathers,don't provoke your children to
anger, but bring them up in thediscipline and instruction of
the Lord.
Now that's a tall order, butit's beautiful when you see the
balance.
Obedience flows from love.

(12:19):
Discipline is rooted inrelationship, and all of it
points back to Christ.
When we lead our homes in thisway, we're showing our children
what God's love looks like inreal life.
Paul ends his letter byreminding us of something
crucial.
We are in a spiritual battle.
He says, Be strong in the Lordand in the power of his might.

(12:41):
Put on the full armor of God sothat you can stand against the
schemes of the devil.
Now we often forget this part,don't we?
We get frustrated withcircumstances or people, but
Paul reminds us our real enemyisn't flesh and blood, it's the
spiritual forces of darknesstrying to discourage, divide,
and derail us.
So he walks us through thearmor of God, the belt of truth,

(13:05):
the breastplate ofrighteousness, the shoes of
peace, the shield of faith, thehelmet of salvation, and the
sword of the spirit, which isthe word of God.
Each piece is vital, andtogether they help us stand firm
when life gets hard.
And then he adds one moreweapon prayer.
Pray in the spirit on alloccasions, he says, with all

(13:27):
kinds of prayers.
That's how we stay strong.
That's how we fight for ourfamilies, our faith, and our
peace.
For parents, this meansremembering that prayer isn't
your last resort, it's yourfirst line of defense.
Pray over your home, pray overyour kids, pray over your own
heart.

(13:48):
The battle is real, but so isyour armor, and so is your
victory in Christ.
When you zoom out and look atEphesians as a whole, it's like
Paul is painting this giantpicture.
He starts in heaven showing usGod's eternal plan, his grace,
and our identity in Christ.

(14:09):
Then he brings it all the waydown to our everyday lives, how
we love, forgive, serve, andstand firm.
Ephesians reminds us that beinga Christian isn't about trying
harder, it's about living outwhat's already true.
For Christian parents, thattruth changes everything.
It means you can show gracebecause you've received grace,

(14:31):
you can forgive because you'vebeen forgiven.
You can keep going becauseGod's power is working in you,
even when you feel empty.
When your kids see you pray,when they see you worship
through tears, when they watchyou forgive and choose peace
instead of anger, you're notjust teaching the gospel, you're
living it out.

(14:53):
Let's pray.
Heavenly Father, thank you forreminding us who we are in you,
chosen, loved, sealed, andsecure.
Help us live from that truthevery single day.
When we're tired, strengthenus.
When we're unsure, steady us.

(15:13):
Let our homes overflow withyour peace, kindness, and grace.
Teach us to walk in love, toforgive quickly, and to stand
firm in your strength.
In Jesus' name we ask thesethings.
Amen.

(15:35):
If you only have time to readone chapter this week, make it
Ephesians 1.
Read it slowly, let it remindyou that you are chosen, loved,
redeemed, and sealed.
Because that's who you reallyare.
And if your heart is cravingpeace, if your soul feels
scattered or weary, I'd love toinvite you to a very special

(15:58):
experience.
It's called the Aroma of ChristCoaching Hour.
In this one-hour session, we'llpause together and create a
rhythm that fits your real life,your season, your schedule, and
your spirit.
You'll also receive a freeessential oil sampler to use
during our time together as weblend scripture, prayer, and the
aroma to help you reconnectwith God's peace in a tangible

(16:19):
way.
It's not about doing more, it'sabout breathing again.
Because peace isn't somethingyou chase, it's something you
receive.
So if you're ready to rest, toreset, and to experience the
gentle presence of God again,join me for your aroma of Christ
coaching hour.
You can learn more atPaulaBehrens.com/coaching.

(16:40):
That's Paula BehrensB-E-H-R-E-N-S .com/coaching (no
spaces).
Your heart will thank you.
Thank you for tuning in today.
And remember, just like settingbiblical boundaries, it's okay
to say no to things that don'tserve you well, like that third

(17:01):
piece of cake at the church potluck.
If you were blessed by thisepisode, be sure to share to
share it with a friend and leavea review so that we can reach
even more listeners like you.
Check the show notes for allthe links.
Join us next week as wecontinue to discover how to live
on purpose in Christ.
Until then,keep leaning into Him and walking in His wisdom.

(17:23):
See you next time.