November 5, 2025 • 63 mins
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What difference can one steady adult make in a child’s life? In this episode, Samantha Kalahar, Executive Director of CASA of Hinds County, shares how Court Appointed Special Advocates bring hope and truth to vulnerable children in Mississippi’s court system.
Hear her powerful story from foster care to advocacy—and learn how small acts of presence can change a child’s future.
🎧 Listen now and visit casaofhindscounty.org or missionmississippi.org to get involved.
Special thanks to our sponsors:
Nissan, St. Dominic's Hospital, Atmos Energy, Regions Foundation, Mississippi College, Anderson United Methodist Church, Grace Temple Church, Mississippi State University, Real Christian Foundation, Brown Missionary Baptist Church, Christian Life Church, Ms. Doris Powell, Mr. Robert Ward, and Ms. Ann Winters.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_07 (00:12):
This is Living Reconciled, a podcast dedicated
to giving our communitiespractical evidence of the gospel
message by helping Christianslearn how to live in the
reconciliation that Jesus hasalready secured for us by living
with grace across racial lines.
Hey, thanks so much for joiningus for episode 87 of Living
(00:32):
Reconcile Podcast.
I'm your host, Brian Crawford,with my good friend and co-host,
Nettie Winter.
Sir, how are you doing today?
SPEAKER_04 (00:38):
I'm wonderful.
How are you doing?
I'm excited about this podcast.
SPEAKER_07 (00:42):
I'm really excited about this podcast.
We got an incredible guest.
We have an incredible guest.
But before we get to our guests,I want to uh give a quick shout
out to a couple of our sponsors,folks like Nissan, St.
Dominic's Hospital, AtmosEnergy, Regis Foundation,
Mississippi College, AndersonUnited Methodist Church, Grace
Temple Church, MississippiState, Real Christian
(01:03):
Foundation, Brown MissionaryBaptist Church, Pine Lake
Church, Christian Life Church,Ms.
Doris Powell, Robert Ward, andWinners, folks that have been so
generous and so gracious to us,it's because of all of your
generosity that we're able to dowhat we do.
And what we do is the work ofreconciliation all over the
state of Mississippi and createpodcasts and content like this
(01:26):
podcast.
If you would like to join thisillustrious list of sponsors,
you can do so by visitingmissionmississippy.org.
Click on the donate investbutton.
It's typically at the top rightside of the screen.
And you two can join that listof reconcilers, peacemakers,
bridge builders who have andjoin who have joined us in this
(01:48):
very important work of LivingReconciled.
We have an incredible guesttoday.
And we started, we we startedout as just simply neighbors.
And because we because we workin the same building, Jackson
Leadership Foundation, the 236thplace uh here in on 236 East
Capitol Street in Jackson hasbrought together a lot of
(02:10):
incredible people.
And um and so we have beenbrought together as a result of
this uh this wonderful venturethat Jackson Leadership, Jackson
Leadership Foundation isembarking on.
Um but our guest is theexecutive director of CASA of
Hines County, and you will learnabout CASA in just a moment.
(02:31):
Um, but she is a believer, awoman of faith.
She is uh a woman whosereputation precedes her as it
relates to her passion uh forchildren and advocacy,
advocating for uh children andensuring uh their safety,
ensuring they're flourishing.
And we are incredibly,incredibly excited and delighted
(02:54):
to have um our um our resident,our resident friend, our
neighbor, um, and an incrediblebeliever uh with us, uh Samantha
Kallahar.
Samantha, how are you doing,man?
SPEAKER_03 (03:07):
I'm I'm great.
I'm so excited to be here.
And um, like you said, I'vegotten to know you, be
neighbors, and uh, Mr.
Winters, I've heard of yourreputation for years, and so I'm
delighted to be you know in insuch great company today.
SPEAKER_04 (03:23):
Well, I'm delighted to be with you as well.
Now, that was a gentleman I usedto work with at NCUA named Color
Hart.
Is that uh a relative of yours?
That's a matter of credit unionassociation or something like
that.
SPEAKER_03 (03:37):
My um father-in-law is on the board of the credit
union, yes.
Wow.
SPEAKER_07 (03:42):
Wow.
Small world indeed.
Yeah, small world indeed.
It's really not that small.
Nettie just happens to knoweverybody, Samantha.
You'll learn that about Nettie.
You'll learn that about him.
But why don't we learn that?
Allowing you to tell us a littlebit about CASA.
What is CASA so that that canshake the rest of our dialogue
(04:05):
over the course of this episode?
SPEAKER_03 (04:07):
That's great.
So CASA stands for CourtAppointed Special Advocate.
Um we are asked to come into thecourt by the judge, the youth
court judge, um, and to work onthe cases that she assigns to us
in in Heinz County.
That's Judge Carlin Hicks.
Um, she assigns cases to ouradvocates, and I'll explain the
(04:30):
advocates in a moment, um, sothat she can get more
information on the case, moreobjective information from a
neutral source, so that when shehas to make a determination on
how to rule in a child's lifeand what to do in deciding their
futures, that she has as muchinformation in front of her as
(04:53):
possible.
Um, as much information fromsomeone who is solely there just
to advocate for what's in thebest interest of a child, not
because there's um uh they'rebeing paid to do that, which
there's some wonderful peoplebeing paid to do social work and
do that.
They have a lot of caseloads,they have a lot of things.
(05:14):
Um this person just has novested interest personally other
than that child, um, and makingsure that child ends up in the
best place that they can.
Um so that's a big task.
Um, that's a big, a big ask.
But if you think about what ayouth court judge does on a
daily basis, all day, every day,sitting there making
(05:37):
life-altering decisions forchildren and families, um it's
it's really awesome when a judgeseeks out a CASA and says, Hey,
give me all the information so Ican make the best decisions
possible.
SPEAKER_07 (05:54):
Yeah, that that's incredible.
That's incredible.
And and of course, you know,learning a little bit about your
story, you bring a very uniqueperspective to this work, uh,
having having been through uh,so to speak, some of the some of
the you know, some of the peaks,valleys, highs, lows, good and
bad of the system in and ofitself.
(06:15):
And so you bring a prettypowerful perspective to the
work.
Um so having experienced thefoster care system, you know,
firsthand, how has that uniquelyshaped your heart?
And how has that uniquely shapedyour calling to this work?
SPEAKER_03 (06:33):
You know, I think there's so many ways.
Um, you know, I I grew up um ina very dysfunctional family.
Um my mother had me by the timeshe was 16, and by the time she
was 21, there were five of us.
Um and so, you know, it startedoff very rocky and very
unstable.
Um, we bounced through relativesand we ended up homeless, living
(06:56):
in homeless shelters, living intents on a river.
I mean, we we were at rockbottom for much of my childhood.
Um, and at some point we I gotput into the the foster care
system.
Um and so having that experienceand kind of knowing what it's
like to feel helpless, to feelhopeless, to feel like nobody
(07:20):
cares, um, and there's there'sno path for your future, you
know, it it it really kind ofhits.
Um but as a grown person nowwho's been through that and and
many more things, foster careand aging out of foster care, I
look back at the people atdifferent points in my life who
stepped in, who maybe in littleways stepped in or in big ways.
(07:44):
Um I'll give you an example whenI was um 14, 15, around there, I
remember thinking nobody haskids because they want to.
Every child I knew was anaccident or unintended, or and I
remember meeting a woman who hadprayed for her children and
(08:06):
wanted her children, and andthat was a reality shift for me
to know that there were parentswho actually planned and wanted
their children, not just kind ofended up with them from choices
that they'd made, that shiftedmy reality.
And so somebody stepping in witha little different perspective
and sharing that with me andspeaking into my life shifted my
(08:30):
mind a little bit.
Um, I can say, you know, I metmy foster parents who became my
parents, who are now my kids'grandparents, um, and just
seeing how hard she fought forher children.
My oldest foster brother hascerebral palsy and he's
handicapped.
And a f my foster mom, who's nowmy mom, um, dedicated everything
(08:53):
she could to being a good momand getting him what he needed.
And it took seeing these typesof people who walked in faith,
these types of people who showedtheir faith in their deeds and
who spoke into my life to reallychange my reality from the
reality that I had to that pointof children are a burden, you
(09:16):
know, nobody wants children.
Um there's there's no hope, youknow, we're you know, to seeing
people who just kind of spokeinto life.
And I tell people it doesn'thave to be the biggest thing in
the world, it could be thatlittle as really just sitting
down and and sharing that faithwith someone and explaining, you
(09:39):
know, why you show up every dayfor your child, why you do this,
to help somebody understand thatthat the reality they're living
in isn't the only reality.
And so when you have a fosterkid who's lived in traumatic and
disruptive and unhealthysettings, having an adult who
finally comes in and says, Okay,tell me what you need, you know,
(10:04):
and and listens and shows up andcomes back and follows through
on what they say they're gonnado, it can change the reality of
how a child perceives the world.
Um and so that's a pretty bigcalling.
I know that sounds very, verybig, but that that consistency
of a caring adult can mean thedifference between a child
(10:27):
believing in their future andnot really seeing anything
different than what they'veknown their whole life.
SPEAKER_04 (10:37):
That that's amazing, uh Samantha.
Uh I was listening to K Lovetoday and the and the and the
the uh DJ was having people tocall in and talk about a moment
in their lives where someonesaid something or being a
friend, uh that and a ladycalled in and she said, Were you
(10:59):
the DJ from some other radiostation that she used to listen
to?
And he said, Yeah, she said, youknow, you don't know this, but I
was at a gas station pumpinggas, and I was 19 years old, and
I was getting ready to put mybaby up for adoption.
And you and your wife werecelebrating the expectancy of a
(11:21):
and you just found out thatyou're gonna have a son and that
you could hear the you could putthe thing there, hear the
breathing, and you got reallyemotional about that.
But that changed the wholeperspective of my life.
I did not put my daughter up foradoption.
I raised her, and then she wenton to talk about how wonderfully
she had been blessed, and then apart of that.
(11:42):
On Sunday, my pastor preached,and I'm I don't know where I'm
going with this, but anyway, mypastor preached about how we're
so I guess the word isingratitude rather than being
grateful.
We're not grateful.
We take a whole lot of thingsfor granted.
And some of the things you justdescribed, most of the people I
know take for granted.
(12:04):
Mother warning that planning,you know, to just, you know,
looking forward to, excited,celebrating, no accidents, no
unexpected, you know, that justa lot of people just take that
so much for granted.
And for you, I can see that itit affects you emotionally, but
for you to be called to that anduh inspired from what you've
(12:25):
gone through, your story, that'sjust something amazing to me.
I just wanted to uh say that.
I don't know, you know, it'sjust it it it it it almost
getting me emotional now.
I'm just um I'm thinking aboutuh uh so often how one word, one
challenge from from people.
We don't even know that we're uhspeaking to someone and and and
(12:52):
and what we say is projected.
And I know your story today.
It's an amazing story, and thereare people out there that's
connecting that otherwise wouldnot be connected when they hear
your story.
Thank you for being here.
I am really excited about thispodcast.
SPEAKER_07 (13:08):
Yeah, it's amazing.
I appreciate that.
It's amazing.
Samantha, if if you don't mind,talk to us a little bit about
how your your story um movedfrom just simply, hey, I'm
excited.
I have a testimony of survivingthis system and thriving and and
(13:29):
getting, you know, coming,coming in but going out, um,
thriving, to I want to be a partof it.
I want to assume leadership inand and help frame the structure
of the system and take on thisrole of executive director.
How how did you move from justsimply saying, all right, this
(13:51):
was great, you know, and theLord granted me grace, and I got
out not unscathed, so to speak,but I got out thriving.
How did you go from that tosaying, man, no, I want to be a
part of this system long termand creating change for other
children that's coming behindme?
SPEAKER_04 (14:07):
Brian, if I might add, an incredible, critical
part of the process.
It's not being a part of you'recritical to helping these
children get the start or getthe recognition of getting where
they need to be in the bestinterest of most of these courts
and things, they make thosedecisions, and many times it's
(14:27):
not in the best interest of thechildren.
So speak to us.
SPEAKER_03 (14:32):
Well, I'll tell you, so I had the blessing of getting
an academic scholarship toMississippi State, and I lived
in Nevada.
SPEAKER_04 (14:41):
Yeah, um, go down Hill State.
SPEAKER_05 (14:49):
The checks in the mail, Samantha.
The checks are the mail.
Continue, continue.
SPEAKER_03 (14:54):
Um but I was blessed to to get a scholarship to go to
Mississippi State.
Um, and you know, I college wasonly gonna happen if if the
doors opened for me.
And I originally intended to bea math teacher.
I was gonna be a math teacher,and that's what I went to study.
And God opened the doors andclosed some doors on calculus
(15:15):
and and things like that.
And and I ended up in socialwork, and I knew I never wanted
to do casework.
I was uh, you know, I I likestrategy.
I'm a I'm a big picture person.
I love that.
Um, and I also just what myheart wasn't really settled with
doing child welfare.
So I got my degree and and I didpublic health for about um 12
(15:38):
years, um, working on um publichealth issues, infant mortality
and tobacco and a lot of thosethings.
Um and spent a lot of timelearning nonprofits, learning
fundraising.
If you're in nonprofits, youlearn fundraising, no matter
what your job title is.
Um and doing all of that.
SPEAKER_06 (15:59):
Yes, you do.
SPEAKER_03 (16:00):
There was an opportunity to serve at
Methodist Children's Home.
And I thought, okay, I'velearned a lot in my professional
life.
What if I marry that with mypersonal life and and come come
together and do that?
And so I was blessed to servewith Methodist Children's Homes
for several years and and reallygrow um an understanding of the
(16:23):
system and what it looks like inMississippi and what it looks
like now, because obviously I'ma little older than um than 18,
so it's been a minute since Iwas in custody.
Um, and so I've done that.
And then I moved into doingpolicy work and working on um
changing some of our laws andbuilding a scholarship so our
foster kids could go to collegeand and running a youth voice
(16:45):
program with with other youthwho had been in foster care and
and doing policy work.
Um and had some some really goodthings happen for Mississippi.
This opportunity was taking allof that big picture work at
Costa and going into onecourtroom and making sure that
(17:05):
it all got boiled down to onechild at a time and one child at
a time getting all of this workactualized in their life.
Um and what I'll say before I goon with that is I spent 12 years
doing child or public health.
I spent a lot of time makingsure I was healed, that I was
(17:27):
stepping away from labels, thatI wasn't Samantha the foster
kid, the poor foster kid.
I became a young professional.
I became and figured out who Iwas as a person without all of
the labels and all of thestigmas and and started a family
and did that.
And I think after a time it feltright.
And God led me back to this workwhen I felt healed, when I felt
(17:52):
like I had processed what I'dbeen to so that I could move on
and be a part of working withother people.
And I think that's reallyimportant.
I work with a lot of youngpeople who are aging out of the
foster care system, and quiteoften many of them will tell you
that I've told them go figureout who you are.
And God will send you whereyou're supposed to be.
(18:16):
But right now, your wholeidentity is labels that other
people have given you, or howyou fit in families that maybe
let you down.
And so I think one of the keythings that helps me to do this
work was I took the time to makesure I was healed, the time to
make sure that I had processedmy traumas before I went on
(18:39):
trying to work on somebodyelse's traumas.
You know, as they say, when youfly, you know, put the mask on
yourself first before you helpothers.
And so I think that's reallykey.
Um, and as we recruit advocatesfor this work, we ask those
questions too.
A lot of people come at thiswork with their heart just wide
(19:00):
open, but sometimes it's not theright timing.
Um, and sometimes this work canbe traumatizing to those of us.
And everybody has a story.
Mine happens to be throughfoster care.
There's a lot of stories thatpeople bring, but making sure
that you understand who you are,understand where your
limitations are, where yourtriggers are, understanding what
(19:23):
God's calling you to is so keyto being effective in this work.
Um, and so that's one of thebiggest things as I work with
young people or I work withpeople who want to do this work,
is making sure it's the righttime for them and that it's the
right calling.
Um, so that you're able to showup fully for that child.
SPEAKER_04 (20:25):
So you you know, Samantha, you talk about making
sure that I was healed, makingsure that I know who I am.
Is it is it is it is can yougive us a glimpse of how it
looked in the back room to walkthat that that that that journey
to making sure that uh if someof the listening audience now is
(20:46):
is is just want to get healed.
In fact, and I we got a lot ofpeople out there that needs
this.
So give us a picture of uh ofthose steps, uh if that's
possible, of what you did to dothat, so people have a picture
of what to do, how to do it.
SPEAKER_03 (21:02):
Wow, I wish there was a clear roadmap on that.
SPEAKER_04 (21:05):
Um don't we all?
SPEAKER_03 (21:06):
Yeah, there's a lot of pithall pitfalls I stepped
into.
But I remember as I was agingout, there were times when I
reached out to my biologicalfamily and thought, okay, I'm a
grown person now.
I'm gonna come at this and theycan't hurt me.
You know, I'm I'm grown and Iknow, you know.
You still have those things andyou still have to reconcile your
(21:28):
relationships.
Um, you have to determine ifrelationships are for your
betterment or if they're foryour harm.
And, you know, how how does thatadd to um that?
And I'll say one of the thingsthat that makes you do that
really well is when you havechildren and you look at who
you're going to allow into theirlives and making sure that
(21:49):
they're going to be um peoplewho speak into your children's
lives.
Um, I think that was really keyas well.
Um, but I also let go of some ofthe hurt.
I also understood, you know, asI shared when I came on, my mom
was 16 when she had me.
She was a child having children,you know, and you get that
(22:09):
perspective also and thatempathy of understanding.
At the time, you think yourparents are supposed to know
everything and that they'refully grown and they're right.
She was a kid raising kids andand without a support system.
And so you look at those things,but I also surrounded myself
with people, foster parents, andand people who were who showed
(22:32):
me what love was and were therefor me and and really kind of
changed that reality of this iswhat a family can look like.
Um, I'll give you a quickexample.
I love this story because it wasso just touching.
I worked with a young lady, andunfortunately she's past, but
one of my first foster kids thatthat I got really close with,
(22:56):
um, she came to my house one oneday for dinner and was eating
with my family.
And first of all, we sat at thetable and and ate together, and
I got out a gallon of milk andput it on the table.
And she just started laughing.
And I said, Yeah, you thought itwas just on TV, right?
(23:16):
Like I remember thinking, peopledon't sit at the table, they
don't drink milk with theirdinner, and and and I knew when
she started laughing exactlywhat she was processing.
SPEAKER_06 (23:25):
Wow.
SPEAKER_03 (23:26):
That these things that were never part of our
lives growing up, like we justthought, oh, that's how TV, you
know, that's how the writerswrite it.
And those types of things, Ithink, are a part of that
healing process.
If you've only known one thing,that's all you can know until
somebody exposes you to adifferent reality of what your
(23:47):
life could look like.
And I will say my healing cameby other people stepping in.
My foster parents, um, wow, theychanged my family tree, is what
I like to say.
Um and I didn't just get fosterparents, I got brothers,
sisters, aunts, uncles.
Thanksgiving.
We'll have 40 people here, andI'm only biologically related to
(24:07):
my daughters.
Exactly.
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_04 (24:11):
Let's make it part of a new addition.
Let's make it 41.
SPEAKER_05 (24:15):
A new addition.
A new addition to the family.
SPEAKER_02 (24:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (24:19):
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That that's you know what yousaid, Samantha, stands out,
resonates so so deeply with me.
We we talk a lot about in our inour in some of the coaching and
training that we do.
We talk about moving from aposture of apathy to empathy in
order to develop deeprelationships across divides.
And but but one of the dangersof empathy um is to is to have
(24:44):
you know this what they whatthey call you know this kind of
this narrow type of empathythat's built out of your own
story that causes you to almostin some ways place you're place
too much of yourself in someoneelse's story.
And when you do that, then theythey talk about this ideal of
introducing a second a secondform of trauma in the midst of
(25:06):
the trauma, which is compassionfatigue, right?
You know, you're you're soinvested that you overinvest and
you can't and you can't even bepresent with the people that
you're trying to invest in, oryou possibly project your story
into the story.
So when you so when somethinghappens to that person, you're
not feeling it from theirvantage point, you're feeling it
only from your vantage point,and what you might be feeling
(25:29):
and and what you might bediscerning might not even be
happening to that person, butyou're reliving your own story
that you haven't done the workto actually work through and
repair and bring healing.
And so, and so a lot of timesyou can, like you said, you can
go with that with that openheart, but that open heart can
also be a bleeding heart that'sbleeding out if we're if we're
(25:49):
if we're not careful.
And so, man, it's it's in it'sincredible just to hear your
wisdom kind of navigatingthrough that and processing when
when to step into a space likethis and do that work and making
sure that there's been somehealing happening um before
before you just you know thrustyourself into it.
Um you talked about that youngchild that that was in your
(26:12):
house and and the light switchcame on, so to speak, and and
the chuckle came out.
Can you share uh some otherstories that kind of capture
what happens when when a childin in the system has someone
that is finally consistentlyshowing up for them through
(26:33):
through the work that you guysare doing?
Can you just share a story,obviously anonymously, and uh,
but could you share a story thathelps us helps us all get a
picture and helps our listenersget a picture for what happens
to a child when they getsomebody that shows up and just
starts consistently uh lovingthem well?
SPEAKER_03 (26:52):
Yeah.
Well, so Casa of Heinz County,we're in our third year.
Um, so we're we're we're a babyorganization.
Um there's 940 CASA across thecountry.
And so um, you know, as as welook at our legacy, we're still
building our legacy and we'restill building those moments um
(27:12):
here in Heinz County.
But I can tell you, you know,I've worked with families that
were fostering um and they had ateenager and they're like, I
don't know what to do.
You just keep showing up.
You aren't gonna be perfect.
You, you know, I would tell myfoster parents, I just need to
know that every time I mess up,I'm not gonna end up losing the
(27:36):
connection, you know.
Um so what's important about aCASA um is every month you show
up.
That child may have messed upthat month, they may have just
totally just wrecked everything.
They have a new placement, theyhave a new, you know, they may
have gotten moved around, butthat doesn't matter.
(27:57):
You know, you're there for thatthat child regardless of what
they're going through.
And that consistency of someonewho just keeps showing up is so
big.
Um, when I first started workingin child welfare, I remember one
young lady, you know, I was Iwas meeting her for the first
time, and I say she was tryingto shock an army.
(28:20):
She was telling me outlandishthings and all the, you know, I
was like, okay.
She wanted to see if I wouldreject her from the beginning.
She wanted to see how safe Iwas.
You know, like, could she tellme things, or was I gonna be
another person who was going tothink she wasn't worth it?
SPEAKER_02 (28:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:38):
Um, and so a lot of times when advocates are coming
in, or you know, and thisthere's a lot of people who work
in child welfare, you know, wespecifically work with advocates
who are volunteers who show upto do this work, but that
consistency of knowing that youdon't have to be perfect as a
child to have someone show upand be there is is really
(28:59):
important.
Um, as we worked on policyefforts over the past couple of
years, I sat in a legislativehearing where we were working on
a scholarship and I had youngpeople with me who were fighting
for that scholarship.
And to have a legislator standthere and say, these kids
deserve the opportunities thatour kids have, these kids
(29:21):
deserve to they started oneyoung lady started tearing up
because to have somebody in thatsetting stand up and say she
deserved all that touched her.
You know, like there weren'tvery many people who say she's
deserved much.
You know, she wasn't a perfectkid, she was a kid.
And so that type of thing, youknow, I know when I was going
(29:44):
through foster care, justknowing that my parents were
gonna be my parents no matterwhat, um, was a big deal.
And so that consistency, thatknowing that you belong
somewhere, and that even if youmess up, somebody's gonna stand
up and say, she still deserves ahappy home.
(30:07):
Um, she deserves this.
Giving a voice to that childwhen everybody else in there is
just worried about what they'resupposed to be.
I remember, oh my gosh, Iremember feeling like I was
owned by my parents.
They would decide whether theywanted me or not.
Um and I didn't get a say in it.
(30:29):
They could say, Oh, well, wedon't, you know, we we don't
have space for you, or there's,you know, and just feeling like,
do I ever get to say where Ishould.
be or what should happen in mylife.
And I know, you know, kids don'thave all their understanding,
but you know, they'll say thatyou remember how they won't
(30:50):
remember what you said, butthey'll remember how you made
them feel.
That's what it boils down to.
You don't always have theperfect words.
You don't always have, you know,all of the insight.
You don't even know what to sayin some situations, but you keep
showing up and you keep sayingyou're important and you have a
right, you know, to be happy.
(31:12):
I think that's that's thebiggest thing, you know, that I
think we're asking for advocatesto do.
There's no perfect person.
And the I will say certainly noperfect scared, right?
Right.
I've told my children, I'm gonnalet you down.
I love you more than anything inthe world and I'd do anything
(31:32):
for you.
But I'm gonna mess up and I'mgonna let you down.
Because everybody is flawed.
And we just have to know yourintent and where your heart is
to really kind of be able to dothat.
But um yeah I think that's whythe biggest core um thing that
(31:53):
we tell people when they sign upto be an advocate is it's a
commitment.
You are committing to be withthis child no matter the ups and
downs.
Like you're committed to bethere and to show up.
That child I have worked withkids have a 40 placements that's
40 people places entities thatsaid we don't want you at some
(32:19):
point you quit feeling becauseyou just can't feel that over
and over and over again.
SPEAKER_07 (32:28):
Yeah you you you you you you grow numb just to
protect yourself you know yougrow numb just to protect
yourself.
SPEAKER_03 (32:35):
Yeah I tell people if a kid cusses you out or acts
out at least there's stillfeeling at least there's still
have an emotion so you can stillget there.
SPEAKER_04 (32:49):
You can point to that one that you talk about 40
different places.
You know sometimes I wonder uhas a pastor for many years I had
to help foster parents andothers and and guardians and so
forth.
And I just think about all theones that didn't get to somebody
(33:09):
like you or the 40 rejectionsand and then we wonder sometimes
why kids and and people commitsuicide or do harm themselves
and other things.
At some point it's like it itdoesn't matter.
It just but you know I I'm I'm Imissed somewhere in here I
missed your connection directlywith the kids and and and you
(33:31):
being an advocate to the courtuh on behalf of the children
giving them research and soforth.
So you actually are able tobring kids into your care or are
you help others prepare to bringthem into the care help me
understand that part of it alittle bit more.
SPEAKER_03 (33:47):
That's a great question.
So we do not take custody of ofthe children these children are
in foster care so they're infoster homes and we are asked to
join the case um and authorizedby the court to do so um we we
get that a couple of differentways we have foster parents who
(34:07):
call and say hey we'd love tohave a CASA on our case um we a
youth can request us or acaseworker can request us or the
judge can look at a case and sayman I really need a little bit
more I need more eyeballs onthis case I need more insight um
and what we do is we trainindividuals from the community
(34:31):
and teach them how what to lookfor what what to um how to show
up who to talk to who theyshould be asking questions of
and then we walk alongside themas they monthly visit with the
kids learn about the casethey'll go talk to their
teachers if they if they need toum talk to their foster parents
(34:54):
and their bioparents and reallyget a good picture of what's
going on in that child's lifeand also listen to that child.
And then take all thisinformation to the judge and
give her a full picture ofwhat's going on so that when she
makes her decisions on whetherthat child stays in that foster
home or that child goes home orthat child um needs extra
(35:19):
services that there's someonewho has given her a really deep
understanding of what is goingon in that child's life.
SPEAKER_04 (35:33):
Is there a place in what you do where you work
directly with the um parent andthe child before they get into
the foster system do do you haveany interaction there?
SPEAKER_03 (35:45):
And if so how do you get the parent and the child
into the therapy or what isthere some process of when when
the parent well I'm broken mykids broken so we need help how
how do we get that help that's alot yeah so no this is this is
great questions we come in wewere working on some cases
before the children were removedtrying to keep them together um
(36:09):
right now we're working on caseswhere the children have already
been removed um the goal alwaysstarts out unless there's
extenuating circumstances thegoal always starts out at
putting the family back togetherunless somebody has done
something grievous to that childand does not need to ever have
that child in their custodyagain the goal is to put the
(36:31):
family unit back together.
And that is what we work foruntil it is determined by the
court that that is just notgoing to happen or not possible.
And so part of that is workingwith that motherfather
grandmother and that system tosay what services does the whole
family need.
And a lot of times it is therapyor services.
(36:54):
Sometimes the parents needsupportive services and we make
those recommendations umsometimes the family unit needs
you know some things or um ifsome services were brought into
this home this family could beput back together.
And that's the goalunfortunately we're not going to
solve poverty we're not gonnasolve you know all of the ills
(37:18):
of society but we're gonna workwithin society and help to help
families stand up as much asthey can um but we will also say
at some point if if a parentisn't doing anything to get
their child back, is not youknow working towards um making
(37:39):
sure that that can be a safehome for that child, there's
times where we have to say thatas well you know because at some
point that child is a wholebeing in themselves and deserves
to start making connections withsomeone who will put their
safety first, who will look intotheir future with them and who
will give them that stability sothat they can grow up and be
(38:02):
kids at this time.
So yeah and what I'll say a bigthing that we get asked is well
do I have to have any backgroundwell you probably need a clean
background we need you to pass abackground check.
But you don't have to have abackground to be a parent you
know it's it's not like we'rejust looking for social workers.
SPEAKER_04 (38:24):
We're looking for someone who will fight for a
child that could be an engineerit could be a waitress it could
be a retired person it could beyou know whoever it's just that
heart and someone who will standup and say this child deserves
XYZ is there a form of processby which the the the prospective
(38:51):
advocate of prospective parentor something do we have to go
through a legal process you knowJudge Bean got me involved in in
some of this work and I mighthave met you during that time
you know that uh I know her verywell I know her dad as well yeah
you know well I traveled arounda few places she had me speaking
and and and she was trying toget into the youth courts and
(39:12):
things and those people thatmake those decisions and and
things and uh I I I really gotinto that because I thought wow
these children need to betogether.
SPEAKER_03 (39:22):
Her goal whole goal was to keep the family together
and uh we would meet with theseadvocates in the court system
and so forth but I think Iremember some kind of formal
process they put people throughis that some part of what Castor
does most definitely um what westart out by you know people
applying expressing interest onour website or or to us
(39:45):
personally we go through aninterview process we're gonna
ask you some of those questionsthat I talked about at the very
beginning about you know whatbrings you to this you know do
you have experience with thefoster care system?
Do you have how have youresolved any of those things
that you've faced you know we'regonna we're gonna want to ask
(40:08):
those questions and they may betough but we're looking for
someone who's ready to worryabout this child's trauma and
isn't carrying you know all oftheir trauma into this as well
um so we do a a pretty extensiveinterview at the beginning and
just really get to know theperson make sure they have a
full understanding of whatthey're walking into as well as
(40:30):
that they're ready for it andand and things like that.
And then we actually have themcome to court and observe court
one day and see what it's like.
And I will tell you that's beenreal eye-opening for a lot of
people especially people whomaybe um have grown up with with
(40:52):
less disruption or I meanhonestly we we should use the
word privilege you know theprivilege of of a solid family
of of you know kind of thatconsistency seeing others and
and what they may face in courtsometimes is very eye-opening
and takes a little bit of timeto digest and and determine if
(41:13):
that's something they can walkinto um and so we do that and
after each of these we wedebrief with with the person and
then if they're still interestedwhich which many are um we go
through 30 hours of trainingwith them explain you know what
to look for what are um what ischild welfare what are the
(41:35):
priorities how do we how do welook at a case um you know we're
not Mississippi has a traditionof taking children for poverty
and removing them from theirhomes um when you look at in in
Mississippi 70% of the childrenin custody are there for neglect
(41:56):
um neglect is a very open termand neglect had been broadly
used for those that areimpoverished and so taking
people's children because theywere in poverty a few years ago
we worked to change the statelaw um to define neglect as
willful neglect so you've beenoffered resources you've been
(42:19):
offered services and you'redenying them you're choosing to
leave your children underresourced and uncared for which
that's more active rather thanbeing someone who's trying their
best and you know it's not alevel playing field out there.
Right and so you know we have totalk through those things as
(42:42):
well you know just because youmay have more resources than
this person doesn't mean thatthey don't love their children
as much and that they shouldn'thave their children if they can
keep them safe and raise them umyou know with with safety and
security and love.
And so a lot of those conceptsare in that training making sure
(43:05):
that people understand the goalis is to reunify a family until
that becomes evident that it'snot possible and those types of
things.
And so there's a lot of trainingand it's very interactive it's
it's not just being spoken atit's it's really interactive
understanding the cases and thenafter that you know you get
(43:28):
sworn in by the judge and weassign you a case um and we walk
with you every step of that umyou have a supervisor who works
with you monthly and and checksin on you and is your sounding
board as you're looking at thecase and you're you know kind of
digesting it and thendetermining what your
(43:50):
recommendations are.
So it's it's a very supported umsystem but it's um it really
takes someone who can look at asituation and and really kind of
weed down to what will servethis child best in the long
term.
That's exciting to notice theadvocate has an advocate yeah
(44:15):
it's incredible it's incredibleyou mentioned in your bio uh say
uh Samantha that um an adult whofights for a foster child shows
the love of the Lord when yousay that it's obvious that you
have in mind well at least it'sobvious to me reading that that
(44:36):
you have in mind that this workis an outpouring and a
reflection of of a person's loveof God and a person's faith in
Christ um how how how would yousay you know talk and talk to
that a little bit and speak intothat a little bit more how does
your faith guide the way youlead out in this work and guide
(45:00):
the way you serve children inthis work yeah well ironically
um Sunday at church the thepastor spoke on this and and
talked about you know Joseph andhow all the things that happened
in Joseph's life were meant forfor ill will and yeah it was all
(45:22):
ultimately for the betterment ofso many people including Joseph
at the end you know when when hewas able to help so many others
and things so we we look atthese situations and we think
why why does this even existfirst of all but it also gives
an opportunity for us to shine alight into that situation and
(45:48):
help somebody understand thattoday in our lives is just a
blip on a timeline it's not theentirety of our lives but if
you've never seen anythingdifferent than what you're
living in now you don't havethat understanding of what hope
can look like or what future canlook like and so somebody coming
(46:14):
in and showing that love showingthat there are people who care
that there are people who showup and and are consistent and
that do what they say that showsa whole new reality to someone
who may not be experiencingthat.
And many of our people come atthat from their faith story and
(46:39):
their understanding of God'slove and how God has spoken into
us when each one of us is flawedand each one of us is imperfect.
So we're not you know we'reshowing that love it to
imperfect people which are allof us in imperfect times and
(47:00):
showing that their imperfectlives may just be exactly where
God is is is moving them.
I remember growing up talking toGod so many times and I remember
a few times saying okay God Iknow you're building character
but can I use the characteryou've built for a little bit
(47:22):
can you can you let me practiceyou know and then we'll add on
some more character.
But you know understanding thatwe don't all we aren't in
control of the situation all thetime but we're in control of how
we approach it and what we showto other people during those
situations I think is reallythat's one of the hard ways of
(47:47):
of of showing your faith youknow it's um but it I think hope
is what you know and and hebrought up Judge Beam and and
you know she um was leading thethe hope project and and that's
one of the biggest things as yougo through really dark times
(48:11):
like being in foster care whereyou're taken from your friends
your family your school yourhome your pets all of your toys
maybe your room if that was asafe space you're taken from
everything you know and put withstrangers and put in a whole new
world but having hope that yourfuture can be better and that
(48:38):
there can be happiness or thatyou can even find someone who
can walk with you while it'sstill dark into that happiness I
I think is it saved me.
It saved me from being justhopeless and not seeing where I
(48:58):
could be and I'll tell you youknow I had not the best
childhood ended up in fostercare aged out I have two
beautiful daughters threebeautiful stepsons they're all
they've never been hungry a dayin their lives they've never
worried that they weren't lovedor that they weren't cared for
and it took somebody steppinginto my life changing my family
(49:23):
tree and giving me thatstability and that consistency
of a loving person and it'schanged my family tree.
My kids will never know what itwas like to grow up the way I
did and that was the goal.
SPEAKER_07 (49:38):
Yeah I I love I love when you you know just that that
statement that you make changingyour family tree that is man
there's so much light and somuch hope uh and so much life in
in those words they'reincredibly powerful.
I know you're a busy woman sowe're gonna try to uh put a bow
on this and wrap up but um I Igot I got two final questions
(50:01):
for you the first one is is uh Iguess uh more I don't I don't
know if it might be challengesthat but but let me ask it this
way there you know there's somany stigmas and so many um um
preconceived notionsmisconceptions about uh uh
(50:21):
children about this space aboutthis line of work um what do you
perceive to be based on yourexperience the the the biggest
misconception the biggest thingthat we get wrong when we're
looking from the outside intothis work what what what is the
(50:44):
biggest thing that we seem toget wrong around this work my
answer may surprise you um I'veworked with a lot of foster kids
and myself in foster care myexperience as a blonde white
(51:04):
young woman in the foster caresystem was different than the
experiences of young AfricanAmerican males or even females
or others of color there there'sdefinitely a disparity in how
kids navigate the foster caresystem based on ethnic and
(51:26):
racial and and those types of offactors you know the youth I
work with we had a very diversegroup of young people and they
would recognize that you knowthat um you know statistics will
show us that a young AfricanAmerican male um their chances
(51:49):
of finding a forever home are afraction of that of a young
Caucasian or even a a maleCaucasian there's so many
stigmas that go along with umwith that um and you know it's
easy to say we can't talk aboutthat but those those that data
(52:15):
that reality that experience Ihave young men who I've worked
with who shared their storiesand I know that wouldn't have
happened to me I know that youknow those experiences are very
different and we have to behonest about that I know that's
really even harder you know asas our times are changing to
(52:35):
have those discussions but Ithink we need people who will
stand up and not just the cuteadorable foster kids but the
ones that are mad because theyhave a reason to be mad.
SPEAKER_03 (52:50):
The ones that are broken because they've been
broken and still see value inthose young people and still
come and advocate that thatperson deserves the same
outcome.
I'll say it's a priority for usto get good advocates from
(53:11):
everywhere.
But if I had African AmericanAmerican male advocates who
could walk with a young AfricanAmerican male foster kid that
that goes a long way in thatconnection and seeing someone
that looks like me and walkslike me who has this type of
(53:32):
future you know it it gives apathway.
So I think that's definitelysomething that that plays into
this.
And when we look at Heinz CountyI I don't have the exact numbers
but about 90% of our childrenare of color um and so making
sure that we are being sensitiveto the cultural and ethnic
(53:54):
undertones of what that meansyou know and and what that um
means for who we have asadvocates what role models we're
putting in front of them so thatthey can see themselves you know
as as someone who is overcomingand and successful as well.
(54:16):
So I I think that's one of theharder discussions to have about
foster care in you know in manyother areas of society, but
definitely young children andand how they navigate the foster
care system is deeply impactedby that.
SPEAKER_07 (54:32):
Yeah yeah well no we we um we talk about you know in
our organization that thathealthy health uh healthy
community transformation beginswith healthy relationships and
healthy relationships begin withhealthy communication um part of
healthy communication is theability to be able to say that
out loud right to say those hardthings out loud without uh
(54:55):
feeling uh feeling any uhpressure that that that that
you're gonna face some sort ofostracizing because you said it
you know that you can say it butsay it with safety.
And I know one of the thingsthat you know in a book that I
read years ago Jim Collins Goodto Great he talked about
confronting the brutal factsright as part of that's what
(55:16):
separated you know goodorganizations that kind of
fizzled out over time versusgreat organizations that reach
that uh reach that height andthen are able to sustain it is
that they confront the brutalfacts and he said in that book
that um you must confront thebrutal facts or the brutal facts
will eventually confront you.
And I think communities are likethat as well that if we just
(55:37):
kind of gloss over this stuffand paint rosy pictures in areas
that need attention theneventually um eventually the the
the the the paint starts tostarts to bleed and we and and
it starts showing up on ourfront doors in in harmful ways
and shows up uh in in thecommunity in harmful ways and so
we we have to be honest about umthe things that we see when we
(56:01):
see them because that's the onlyway we can really see healing
train uh take place.
So I appreciate I appreciateyour honesty in sharing that I I
really really do.
So here's the last question.
Man we've talked about a lot ofthings the church obviously has
a role in being a part of thesolution as it relates to the
(56:24):
children of our community if youhad if you had one thing two
things maybe that you wouldencourage the church towards in
in in in running in this laneand running in this space how
would you encourage the churchwhat what can the church do uh
(56:44):
to be a better advocate to uhthis this work yeah I'll say a
couple of things first of allthe easy one is I need advocates
I need people in there taking ona kid and and fighting for him
um I'll I'll give you an exampleum I was I have five there were
five of us we lived in um innercity Albuquerque and there was a
(57:09):
church ministry that picked usup every Sunday um and they
picked us up in a bus and theytook us to church and they fed
us lunch and then they broughtus home and um that ministry
ministered to five kids whoseparents had no desire to take
them to church who were um doingdrugs who were you know just not
(57:30):
living the lifestyle and ummyself my sister we both became
saved we were both saved duringthat ministry and a part of that
ministry and about 12 years agomy sister found the lady who she
and her husband drove the busand picked us all up and shared
(57:52):
with her how different our liveswere because those individuals
she and her husband took everySunday gone on a bus and picked
up all of the kids in the poorneighborhood in the bad part of
town and brought them over totheir church and ministered to
them and how she now hadchildren who weren't living like
that.
SPEAKER_03 (58:12):
I had children that weren't living like that and
that we had a strong faithbecause it had been given to us
on a bus singing and going to achurch that opened their arms to
the dirty stinky you know poorkids from the poor neighborhood
um and so that that goes a longway you never know what you're
(58:37):
instilling at any given time ina child that they can take with
them.
As we as I went into foster carethat stayed with me there was a
foundation laid um and so as Iwent through dark times I talked
to God because I had built arelationship with him when I was
young.
And so even though I was goingthrough horrible times I had a
(59:03):
faith and I knew who to talk toand I knew who was there and who
was constant.
SPEAKER_06 (59:07):
And it was because somebody had taken the time to
show me that um and so I thinkthat's it doesn't have to be a
bus ministry um but it's it'simportant the other thing I
would say is there's a lot ofmoms dads family members out
there trying to raise kidsthere's no book there's probably
(59:29):
lots actually there's lots ofbooks but there's you know no
writing there's no perfectperfect book or secret sauce in
this yeah exactly and a lot oftimes when we work with the
courts and a family gets putback together they need
community you know so if we havea church that comes along and
helps fill that food theirpantries for one Sunday that's
(59:51):
great.
SPEAKER_03 (59:52):
But if they come back and check on them in a
month and say hey we just wantedto see if you were okay that mom
needs that support too in thatfamily.
And so we as we're trying tobuild advocates and church
partners we're trying to buildcommunity that'll be left behind
once we are done with thatfamily that they'll still have a
community they can rely on.
SPEAKER_07 (01:00:13):
Yeah that's that's a perfect uh perfect opportunity
for for churches to on board andso I I appreciate you appreciate
you sharing your wisdom and yourcounsel with us not just in that
but just collectively over thisentire episode this has been
absolutely wonderful.
So thank you so much uh Samanthafor your time uh thank you for
your work thank you for yourconviction and passion in this
(01:00:35):
work uh may the Lord add to yournumber and bless us with many
many Many, many more like you.
Um, for those of you all, oh forthose of you, for those of our
listeners who would like to keepup with Casa, how can they do
that?
SPEAKER_03 (01:00:49):
You can visit our website, Casa of Heinz
County.org, all spelled out, soa lot of letters.
Um you can follow us on socialmedia, on Facebook, Instagram,
um, and just get involved.
If if you're thinking aboutbeing an advocate, not quite
sure, just give us a call, we'lltalk you through it.
Um, if you maybe don't want tobe an advocate, but you want to
(01:01:10):
get involved and just help.
We have lots of ways for that tohappen too.
And big one, let me come talk.
Let me come talk tocongregations, to groups, to
organizations, um, trying tospread the word, trying to let
people know that we exist andthat um they can be a part of
the work.
SPEAKER_07 (01:01:29):
Excellent.
Excellent.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for those thatare listening.
You can always uh follow uh thispodcast by going to any podcast
app, um, searching on LivingReconciled.
Be sure to like and share ourepisodes.
That helps us get the messageand the word out, and we would
love for you to do that.
Um, if you want to learn moreabout Mission Mississippi, you
(01:01:50):
can always visitmissionmississippi.org.
Learn about all the work that'staking place, not just uh in
Hines County, but all over thisstate uh in the lane and in the
area of reconciliation.
We would love for you to partnerin that work so you can do so by
visiting our website, click onthe contact page, and also uh
fill out a little form, and thatwill give us an opportunity to
(01:02:11):
connect with you and share withyou a little bit more about
what's going on with us.
It's been a pleasure to hang outwith Samantha on behalf of my
good friend, Nettie Winners.
I am Brian Crawford signing offsaying God bless.
Thanks for joining LivingReconciled.
If you would like moreinformation on how you can be a
part of the ongoing work ofhelping Christians learn how to
(01:02:33):
live in the reconciliation thatJesus has already secured,
please visit us online atmissionmississippi.org or call
us at 601-353-6477.
Thanks again for listening.
This is Living Reconciled, a podcast dedicated
to giving our communitiespractical evidence of the gospel
message by helping Christianslearn how to live in the
reconciliation that Jesus hasalready secured for us by living
with grace across racial lines.
Hey, thanks so much for joiningus for episode 87 of Living
(00:32):
Reconcile Podcast.
I'm your host, Brian Crawford,with my good friend and co-host,
Nettie Winter.
Sir, how are you doing today?
SPEAKER_04 (00:38):
I'm wonderful.
How are you doing?
I'm excited about this podcast.
SPEAKER_07 (00:42):
I'm really excited about this podcast.
We got an incredible guest.
We have an incredible guest.
But before we get to our guests,I want to uh give a quick shout
out to a couple of our sponsors,folks like Nissan, St.
Dominic's Hospital, AtmosEnergy, Regis Foundation,
Mississippi College, AndersonUnited Methodist Church, Grace
Temple Church, MississippiState, Real Christian
(01:03):
Foundation, Brown MissionaryBaptist Church, Pine Lake
Church, Christian Life Church,Ms.
Doris Powell, Robert Ward, andWinners, folks that have been so
generous and so gracious to us,it's because of all of your
generosity that we're able to dowhat we do.
And what we do is the work ofreconciliation all over the
state of Mississippi and createpodcasts and content like this
(01:26):
podcast.
If you would like to join thisillustrious list of sponsors,
you can do so by visitingmissionmississippy.org.
Click on the donate investbutton.
It's typically at the top rightside of the screen.
And you two can join that listof reconcilers, peacemakers,
bridge builders who have andjoin who have joined us in this
(01:48):
very important work of LivingReconciled.
We have an incredible guesttoday.
And we started, we we startedout as just simply neighbors.
And because we because we workin the same building, Jackson
Leadership Foundation, the 236thplace uh here in on 236 East
Capitol Street in Jackson hasbrought together a lot of
(02:10):
incredible people.
And um and so we have beenbrought together as a result of
this uh this wonderful venturethat Jackson Leadership, Jackson
Leadership Foundation isembarking on.
Um but our guest is theexecutive director of CASA of
Hines County, and you will learnabout CASA in just a moment.
(02:31):
Um, but she is a believer, awoman of faith.
She is uh a woman whosereputation precedes her as it
relates to her passion uh forchildren and advocacy,
advocating for uh children andensuring uh their safety,
ensuring they're flourishing.
And we are incredibly,incredibly excited and delighted
(02:54):
to have um our um our resident,our resident friend, our
neighbor, um, and an incrediblebeliever uh with us, uh Samantha
Kallahar.
Samantha, how are you doing,man?
SPEAKER_03 (03:07):
I'm I'm great.
I'm so excited to be here.
And um, like you said, I'vegotten to know you, be
neighbors, and uh, Mr.
Winters, I've heard of yourreputation for years, and so I'm
delighted to be you know in insuch great company today.
SPEAKER_04 (03:23):
Well, I'm delighted to be with you as well.
Now, that was a gentleman I usedto work with at NCUA named Color
Hart.
Is that uh a relative of yours?
That's a matter of credit unionassociation or something like
that.
SPEAKER_03 (03:37):
My um father-in-law is on the board of the credit
union, yes.
Wow.
SPEAKER_07 (03:42):
Wow.
Small world indeed.
Yeah, small world indeed.
It's really not that small.
Nettie just happens to knoweverybody, Samantha.
You'll learn that about Nettie.
You'll learn that about him.
But why don't we learn that?
Allowing you to tell us a littlebit about CASA.
What is CASA so that that canshake the rest of our dialogue
(04:05):
over the course of this episode?
SPEAKER_03 (04:07):
That's great.
So CASA stands for CourtAppointed Special Advocate.
Um we are asked to come into thecourt by the judge, the youth
court judge, um, and to work onthe cases that she assigns to us
in in Heinz County.
That's Judge Carlin Hicks.
Um, she assigns cases to ouradvocates, and I'll explain the
(04:30):
advocates in a moment, um, sothat she can get more
information on the case, moreobjective information from a
neutral source, so that when shehas to make a determination on
how to rule in a child's lifeand what to do in deciding their
futures, that she has as muchinformation in front of her as
(04:53):
possible.
Um, as much information fromsomeone who is solely there just
to advocate for what's in thebest interest of a child, not
because there's um uh they'rebeing paid to do that, which
there's some wonderful peoplebeing paid to do social work and
do that.
They have a lot of caseloads,they have a lot of things.
(05:14):
Um this person just has novested interest personally other
than that child, um, and makingsure that child ends up in the
best place that they can.
Um so that's a big task.
Um, that's a big, a big ask.
But if you think about what ayouth court judge does on a
daily basis, all day, every day,sitting there making
(05:37):
life-altering decisions forchildren and families, um it's
it's really awesome when a judgeseeks out a CASA and says, Hey,
give me all the information so Ican make the best decisions
possible.
SPEAKER_07 (05:54):
Yeah, that that's incredible.
That's incredible.
And and of course, you know,learning a little bit about your
story, you bring a very uniqueperspective to this work, uh,
having having been through uh,so to speak, some of the some of
the you know, some of the peaks,valleys, highs, lows, good and
bad of the system in and ofitself.
(06:15):
And so you bring a prettypowerful perspective to the
work.
Um so having experienced thefoster care system, you know,
firsthand, how has that uniquelyshaped your heart?
And how has that uniquely shapedyour calling to this work?
SPEAKER_03 (06:33):
You know, I think there's so many ways.
Um, you know, I I grew up um ina very dysfunctional family.
Um my mother had me by the timeshe was 16, and by the time she
was 21, there were five of us.
Um and so, you know, it startedoff very rocky and very
unstable.
Um, we bounced through relativesand we ended up homeless, living
(06:56):
in homeless shelters, living intents on a river.
I mean, we we were at rockbottom for much of my childhood.
Um, and at some point we I gotput into the the foster care
system.
Um and so having that experienceand kind of knowing what it's
like to feel helpless, to feelhopeless, to feel like nobody
(07:20):
cares, um, and there's there'sno path for your future, you
know, it it it really kind ofhits.
Um but as a grown person nowwho's been through that and and
many more things, foster careand aging out of foster care, I
look back at the people atdifferent points in my life who
stepped in, who maybe in littleways stepped in or in big ways.
(07:44):
Um I'll give you an example whenI was um 14, 15, around there, I
remember thinking nobody haskids because they want to.
Every child I knew was anaccident or unintended, or and I
remember meeting a woman who hadprayed for her children and
(08:06):
wanted her children, and andthat was a reality shift for me
to know that there were parentswho actually planned and wanted
their children, not just kind ofended up with them from choices
that they'd made, that shiftedmy reality.
And so somebody stepping in witha little different perspective
and sharing that with me andspeaking into my life shifted my
(08:30):
mind a little bit.
Um, I can say, you know, I metmy foster parents who became my
parents, who are now my kids'grandparents, um, and just
seeing how hard she fought forher children.
My oldest foster brother hascerebral palsy and he's
handicapped.
And a f my foster mom, who's nowmy mom, um, dedicated everything
(08:53):
she could to being a good momand getting him what he needed.
And it took seeing these typesof people who walked in faith,
these types of people who showedtheir faith in their deeds and
who spoke into my life to reallychange my reality from the
reality that I had to that pointof children are a burden, you
(09:16):
know, nobody wants children.
Um there's there's no hope, youknow, we're you know, to seeing
people who just kind of spokeinto life.
And I tell people it doesn'thave to be the biggest thing in
the world, it could be thatlittle as really just sitting
down and and sharing that faithwith someone and explaining, you
(09:39):
know, why you show up every dayfor your child, why you do this,
to help somebody understand thatthat the reality they're living
in isn't the only reality.
And so when you have a fosterkid who's lived in traumatic and
disruptive and unhealthysettings, having an adult who
finally comes in and says, Okay,tell me what you need, you know,
(10:04):
and and listens and shows up andcomes back and follows through
on what they say they're gonnado, it can change the reality of
how a child perceives the world.
Um and so that's a pretty bigcalling.
I know that sounds very, verybig, but that that consistency
of a caring adult can mean thedifference between a child
(10:27):
believing in their future andnot really seeing anything
different than what they'veknown their whole life.
SPEAKER_04 (10:37):
That that's amazing, uh Samantha.
Uh I was listening to K Lovetoday and the and the and the
the uh DJ was having people tocall in and talk about a moment
in their lives where someonesaid something or being a
friend, uh that and a ladycalled in and she said, Were you
(10:59):
the DJ from some other radiostation that she used to listen
to?
And he said, Yeah, she said, youknow, you don't know this, but I
was at a gas station pumpinggas, and I was 19 years old, and
I was getting ready to put mybaby up for adoption.
And you and your wife werecelebrating the expectancy of a
(11:21):
and you just found out thatyou're gonna have a son and that
you could hear the you could putthe thing there, hear the
breathing, and you got reallyemotional about that.
But that changed the wholeperspective of my life.
I did not put my daughter up foradoption.
I raised her, and then she wenton to talk about how wonderfully
she had been blessed, and then apart of that.
(11:42):
On Sunday, my pastor preached,and I'm I don't know where I'm
going with this, but anyway, mypastor preached about how we're
so I guess the word isingratitude rather than being
grateful.
We're not grateful.
We take a whole lot of thingsfor granted.
And some of the things you justdescribed, most of the people I
know take for granted.
(12:04):
Mother warning that planning,you know, to just, you know,
looking forward to, excited,celebrating, no accidents, no
unexpected, you know, that justa lot of people just take that
so much for granted.
And for you, I can see that itit affects you emotionally, but
for you to be called to that anduh inspired from what you've
(12:25):
gone through, your story, that'sjust something amazing to me.
I just wanted to uh say that.
I don't know, you know, it'sjust it it it it it almost
getting me emotional now.
I'm just um I'm thinking aboutuh uh so often how one word, one
challenge from from people.
We don't even know that we're uhspeaking to someone and and and
(12:52):
and what we say is projected.
And I know your story today.
It's an amazing story, and thereare people out there that's
connecting that otherwise wouldnot be connected when they hear
your story.
Thank you for being here.
I am really excited about thispodcast.
SPEAKER_07 (13:08):
Yeah, it's amazing.
I appreciate that.
It's amazing.
Samantha, if if you don't mind,talk to us a little bit about
how your your story um movedfrom just simply, hey, I'm
excited.
I have a testimony of survivingthis system and thriving and and
(13:29):
getting, you know, coming,coming in but going out, um,
thriving, to I want to be a partof it.
I want to assume leadership inand and help frame the structure
of the system and take on thisrole of executive director.
How how did you move from justsimply saying, all right, this
(13:51):
was great, you know, and theLord granted me grace, and I got
out not unscathed, so to speak,but I got out thriving.
How did you go from that tosaying, man, no, I want to be a
part of this system long termand creating change for other
children that's coming behindme?
SPEAKER_04 (14:07):
Brian, if I might add, an incredible, critical
part of the process.
It's not being a part of you'recritical to helping these
children get the start or getthe recognition of getting where
they need to be in the bestinterest of most of these courts
and things, they make thosedecisions, and many times it's
(14:27):
not in the best interest of thechildren.
So speak to us.
SPEAKER_03 (14:32):
Well, I'll tell you, so I had the blessing of getting
an academic scholarship toMississippi State, and I lived
in Nevada.
SPEAKER_04 (14:41):
Yeah, um, go down Hill State.
SPEAKER_05 (14:49):
The checks in the mail, Samantha.
The checks are the mail.
Continue, continue.
SPEAKER_03 (14:54):
Um but I was blessed to to get a scholarship to go to
Mississippi State.
Um, and you know, I college wasonly gonna happen if if the
doors opened for me.
And I originally intended to bea math teacher.
I was gonna be a math teacher,and that's what I went to study.
And God opened the doors andclosed some doors on calculus
(15:15):
and and things like that.
And and I ended up in socialwork, and I knew I never wanted
to do casework.
I was uh, you know, I I likestrategy.
I'm a I'm a big picture person.
I love that.
Um, and I also just what myheart wasn't really settled with
doing child welfare.
So I got my degree and and I didpublic health for about um 12
(15:38):
years, um, working on um publichealth issues, infant mortality
and tobacco and a lot of thosethings.
Um and spent a lot of timelearning nonprofits, learning
fundraising.
If you're in nonprofits, youlearn fundraising, no matter
what your job title is.
Um and doing all of that.
SPEAKER_06 (15:59):
Yes, you do.
SPEAKER_03 (16:00):
There was an opportunity to serve at
Methodist Children's Home.
And I thought, okay, I'velearned a lot in my professional
life.
What if I marry that with mypersonal life and and come come
together and do that?
And so I was blessed to servewith Methodist Children's Homes
for several years and and reallygrow um an understanding of the
(16:23):
system and what it looks like inMississippi and what it looks
like now, because obviously I'ma little older than um than 18,
so it's been a minute since Iwas in custody.
Um, and so I've done that.
And then I moved into doingpolicy work and working on um
changing some of our laws andbuilding a scholarship so our
foster kids could go to collegeand and running a youth voice
(16:45):
program with with other youthwho had been in foster care and
and doing policy work.
Um and had some some really goodthings happen for Mississippi.
This opportunity was taking allof that big picture work at
Costa and going into onecourtroom and making sure that
(17:05):
it all got boiled down to onechild at a time and one child at
a time getting all of this workactualized in their life.
Um and what I'll say before I goon with that is I spent 12 years
doing child or public health.
I spent a lot of time makingsure I was healed, that I was
(17:27):
stepping away from labels, thatI wasn't Samantha the foster
kid, the poor foster kid.
I became a young professional.
I became and figured out who Iwas as a person without all of
the labels and all of thestigmas and and started a family
and did that.
And I think after a time it feltright.
And God led me back to this workwhen I felt healed, when I felt
(17:52):
like I had processed what I'dbeen to so that I could move on
and be a part of working withother people.
And I think that's reallyimportant.
I work with a lot of youngpeople who are aging out of the
foster care system, and quiteoften many of them will tell you
that I've told them go figureout who you are.
And God will send you whereyou're supposed to be.
(18:16):
But right now, your wholeidentity is labels that other
people have given you, or howyou fit in families that maybe
let you down.
And so I think one of the keythings that helps me to do this
work was I took the time to makesure I was healed, the time to
make sure that I had processedmy traumas before I went on
(18:39):
trying to work on somebodyelse's traumas.
You know, as they say, when youfly, you know, put the mask on
yourself first before you helpothers.
And so I think that's reallykey.
Um, and as we recruit advocatesfor this work, we ask those
questions too.
A lot of people come at thiswork with their heart just wide
(19:00):
open, but sometimes it's not theright timing.
Um, and sometimes this work canbe traumatizing to those of us.
And everybody has a story.
Mine happens to be throughfoster care.
There's a lot of stories thatpeople bring, but making sure
that you understand who you are,understand where your
limitations are, where yourtriggers are, understanding what
(19:23):
God's calling you to is so keyto being effective in this work.
Um, and so that's one of thebiggest things as I work with
young people or I work withpeople who want to do this work,
is making sure it's the righttime for them and that it's the
right calling.
Um, so that you're able to showup fully for that child.
SPEAKER_04 (20:25):
So you you know, Samantha, you talk about making
sure that I was healed, makingsure that I know who I am.
Is it is it is it is can yougive us a glimpse of how it
looked in the back room to walkthat that that that that journey
to making sure that uh if someof the listening audience now is
(20:46):
is is just want to get healed.
In fact, and I we got a lot ofpeople out there that needs
this.
So give us a picture of uh ofthose steps, uh if that's
possible, of what you did to dothat, so people have a picture
of what to do, how to do it.
SPEAKER_03 (21:02):
Wow, I wish there was a clear roadmap on that.
SPEAKER_04 (21:05):
Um don't we all?
SPEAKER_03 (21:06):
Yeah, there's a lot of pithall pitfalls I stepped
into.
But I remember as I was agingout, there were times when I
reached out to my biologicalfamily and thought, okay, I'm a
grown person now.
I'm gonna come at this and theycan't hurt me.
You know, I'm I'm grown and Iknow, you know.
You still have those things andyou still have to reconcile your
(21:28):
relationships.
Um, you have to determine ifrelationships are for your
betterment or if they're foryour harm.
And, you know, how how does thatadd to um that?
And I'll say one of the thingsthat that makes you do that
really well is when you havechildren and you look at who
you're going to allow into theirlives and making sure that
(21:49):
they're going to be um peoplewho speak into your children's
lives.
Um, I think that was really keyas well.
Um, but I also let go of some ofthe hurt.
I also understood, you know, asI shared when I came on, my mom
was 16 when she had me.
She was a child having children,you know, and you get that
(22:09):
perspective also and thatempathy of understanding.
At the time, you think yourparents are supposed to know
everything and that they'refully grown and they're right.
She was a kid raising kids andand without a support system.
And so you look at those things,but I also surrounded myself
with people, foster parents, andand people who were who showed
(22:32):
me what love was and were therefor me and and really kind of
changed that reality of this iswhat a family can look like.
Um, I'll give you a quickexample.
I love this story because it wasso just touching.
I worked with a young lady, andunfortunately she's past, but
one of my first foster kids thatthat I got really close with,
(22:56):
um, she came to my house one oneday for dinner and was eating
with my family.
And first of all, we sat at thetable and and ate together, and
I got out a gallon of milk andput it on the table.
And she just started laughing.
And I said, Yeah, you thought itwas just on TV, right?
(23:16):
Like I remember thinking, peopledon't sit at the table, they
don't drink milk with theirdinner, and and and I knew when
she started laughing exactlywhat she was processing.
SPEAKER_06 (23:25):
Wow.
SPEAKER_03 (23:26):
That these things that were never part of our
lives growing up, like we justthought, oh, that's how TV, you
know, that's how the writerswrite it.
And those types of things, Ithink, are a part of that
healing process.
If you've only known one thing,that's all you can know until
somebody exposes you to adifferent reality of what your
(23:47):
life could look like.
And I will say my healing cameby other people stepping in.
My foster parents, um, wow, theychanged my family tree, is what
I like to say.
Um and I didn't just get fosterparents, I got brothers,
sisters, aunts, uncles.
Thanksgiving.
We'll have 40 people here, andI'm only biologically related to
(24:07):
my daughters.
Exactly.
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_04 (24:11):
Let's make it part of a new addition.
Let's make it 41.
SPEAKER_05 (24:15):
A new addition.
A new addition to the family.
SPEAKER_02 (24:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (24:19):
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That that's you know what yousaid, Samantha, stands out,
resonates so so deeply with me.
We we talk a lot about in our inour in some of the coaching and
training that we do.
We talk about moving from aposture of apathy to empathy in
order to develop deeprelationships across divides.
And but but one of the dangersof empathy um is to is to have
(24:44):
you know this what they whatthey call you know this kind of
this narrow type of empathythat's built out of your own
story that causes you to almostin some ways place you're place
too much of yourself in someoneelse's story.
And when you do that, then theythey talk about this ideal of
introducing a second a secondform of trauma in the midst of
(25:06):
the trauma, which is compassionfatigue, right?
You know, you're you're soinvested that you overinvest and
you can't and you can't even bepresent with the people that
you're trying to invest in, oryou possibly project your story
into the story.
So when you so when somethinghappens to that person, you're
not feeling it from theirvantage point, you're feeling it
only from your vantage point,and what you might be feeling
(25:29):
and and what you might bediscerning might not even be
happening to that person, butyou're reliving your own story
that you haven't done the workto actually work through and
repair and bring healing.
And so, and so a lot of timesyou can, like you said, you can
go with that with that openheart, but that open heart can
also be a bleeding heart that'sbleeding out if we're if we're
(25:49):
if we're not careful.
And so, man, it's it's in it'sincredible just to hear your
wisdom kind of navigatingthrough that and processing when
when to step into a space likethis and do that work and making
sure that there's been somehealing happening um before
before you just you know thrustyourself into it.
Um you talked about that youngchild that that was in your
(26:12):
house and and the light switchcame on, so to speak, and and
the chuckle came out.
Can you share uh some otherstories that kind of capture
what happens when when a childin in the system has someone
that is finally consistentlyshowing up for them through
(26:33):
through the work that you guysare doing?
Can you just share a story,obviously anonymously, and uh,
but could you share a story thathelps us helps us all get a
picture and helps our listenersget a picture for what happens
to a child when they getsomebody that shows up and just
starts consistently uh lovingthem well?
SPEAKER_03 (26:52):
Yeah.
Well, so Casa of Heinz County,we're in our third year.
Um, so we're we're we're a babyorganization.
Um there's 940 CASA across thecountry.
And so um, you know, as as welook at our legacy, we're still
building our legacy and we'restill building those moments um
(27:12):
here in Heinz County.
But I can tell you, you know,I've worked with families that
were fostering um and they had ateenager and they're like, I
don't know what to do.
You just keep showing up.
You aren't gonna be perfect.
You, you know, I would tell myfoster parents, I just need to
know that every time I mess up,I'm not gonna end up losing the
(27:36):
connection, you know.
Um so what's important about aCASA um is every month you show
up.
That child may have messed upthat month, they may have just
totally just wrecked everything.
They have a new placement, theyhave a new, you know, they may
have gotten moved around, butthat doesn't matter.
(27:57):
You know, you're there for thatthat child regardless of what
they're going through.
And that consistency of someonewho just keeps showing up is so
big.
Um, when I first started workingin child welfare, I remember one
young lady, you know, I was Iwas meeting her for the first
time, and I say she was tryingto shock an army.
(28:20):
She was telling me outlandishthings and all the, you know, I
was like, okay.
She wanted to see if I wouldreject her from the beginning.
She wanted to see how safe Iwas.
You know, like, could she tellme things, or was I gonna be
another person who was going tothink she wasn't worth it?
SPEAKER_02 (28:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:38):
Um, and so a lot of times when advocates are coming
in, or you know, and thisthere's a lot of people who work
in child welfare, you know, wespecifically work with advocates
who are volunteers who show upto do this work, but that
consistency of knowing that youdon't have to be perfect as a
child to have someone show upand be there is is really
(28:59):
important.
Um, as we worked on policyefforts over the past couple of
years, I sat in a legislativehearing where we were working on
a scholarship and I had youngpeople with me who were fighting
for that scholarship.
And to have a legislator standthere and say, these kids
deserve the opportunities thatour kids have, these kids
(29:21):
deserve to they started oneyoung lady started tearing up
because to have somebody in thatsetting stand up and say she
deserved all that touched her.
You know, like there weren'tvery many people who say she's
deserved much.
You know, she wasn't a perfectkid, she was a kid.
And so that type of thing, youknow, I know when I was going
(29:44):
through foster care, justknowing that my parents were
gonna be my parents no matterwhat, um, was a big deal.
And so that consistency, thatknowing that you belong
somewhere, and that even if youmess up, somebody's gonna stand
up and say, she still deserves ahappy home.
(30:07):
Um, she deserves this.
Giving a voice to that childwhen everybody else in there is
just worried about what they'resupposed to be.
I remember, oh my gosh, Iremember feeling like I was
owned by my parents.
They would decide whether theywanted me or not.
Um and I didn't get a say in it.
(30:29):
They could say, Oh, well, wedon't, you know, we we don't
have space for you, or there's,you know, and just feeling like,
do I ever get to say where Ishould.
be or what should happen in mylife.
And I know, you know, kids don'thave all their understanding,
but you know, they'll say thatyou remember how they won't
(30:50):
remember what you said, butthey'll remember how you made
them feel.
That's what it boils down to.
You don't always have theperfect words.
You don't always have, you know,all of the insight.
You don't even know what to sayin some situations, but you keep
showing up and you keep sayingyou're important and you have a
right, you know, to be happy.
(31:12):
I think that's that's thebiggest thing, you know, that I
think we're asking for advocatesto do.
There's no perfect person.
And the I will say certainly noperfect scared, right?
Right.
I've told my children, I'm gonnalet you down.
I love you more than anything inthe world and I'd do anything
(31:32):
for you.
But I'm gonna mess up and I'mgonna let you down.
Because everybody is flawed.
And we just have to know yourintent and where your heart is
to really kind of be able to dothat.
But um yeah I think that's whythe biggest core um thing that
(31:53):
we tell people when they sign upto be an advocate is it's a
commitment.
You are committing to be withthis child no matter the ups and
downs.
Like you're committed to bethere and to show up.
That child I have worked withkids have a 40 placements that's
40 people places entities thatsaid we don't want you at some
(32:19):
point you quit feeling becauseyou just can't feel that over
and over and over again.
SPEAKER_07 (32:28):
Yeah you you you you you you grow numb just to
protect yourself you know yougrow numb just to protect
yourself.
SPEAKER_03 (32:35):
Yeah I tell people if a kid cusses you out or acts
out at least there's stillfeeling at least there's still
have an emotion so you can stillget there.
SPEAKER_04 (32:49):
You can point to that one that you talk about 40
different places.
You know sometimes I wonder uhas a pastor for many years I had
to help foster parents andothers and and guardians and so
forth.
And I just think about all theones that didn't get to somebody
(33:09):
like you or the 40 rejectionsand and then we wonder sometimes
why kids and and people commitsuicide or do harm themselves
and other things.
At some point it's like it itdoesn't matter.
It just but you know I I'm I'm Imissed somewhere in here I
missed your connection directlywith the kids and and and you
(33:31):
being an advocate to the courtuh on behalf of the children
giving them research and soforth.
So you actually are able tobring kids into your care or are
you help others prepare to bringthem into the care help me
understand that part of it alittle bit more.
SPEAKER_03 (33:47):
That's a great question.
So we do not take custody of ofthe children these children are
in foster care so they're infoster homes and we are asked to
join the case um and authorizedby the court to do so um we we
get that a couple of differentways we have foster parents who
(34:07):
call and say hey we'd love tohave a CASA on our case um we a
youth can request us or acaseworker can request us or the
judge can look at a case and sayman I really need a little bit
more I need more eyeballs onthis case I need more insight um
and what we do is we trainindividuals from the community
(34:31):
and teach them how what to lookfor what what to um how to show
up who to talk to who theyshould be asking questions of
and then we walk alongside themas they monthly visit with the
kids learn about the casethey'll go talk to their
teachers if they if they need toum talk to their foster parents
(34:54):
and their bioparents and reallyget a good picture of what's
going on in that child's lifeand also listen to that child.
And then take all thisinformation to the judge and
give her a full picture ofwhat's going on so that when she
makes her decisions on whetherthat child stays in that foster
home or that child goes home orthat child um needs extra
(35:19):
services that there's someonewho has given her a really deep
understanding of what is goingon in that child's life.
SPEAKER_04 (35:33):
Is there a place in what you do where you work
directly with the um parent andthe child before they get into
the foster system do do you haveany interaction there?
SPEAKER_03 (35:45):
And if so how do you get the parent and the child
into the therapy or what isthere some process of when when
the parent well I'm broken mykids broken so we need help how
how do we get that help that's alot yeah so no this is this is
great questions we come in wewere working on some cases
before the children were removedtrying to keep them together um
(36:09):
right now we're working on caseswhere the children have already
been removed um the goal alwaysstarts out unless there's
extenuating circumstances thegoal always starts out at
putting the family back togetherunless somebody has done
something grievous to that childand does not need to ever have
that child in their custodyagain the goal is to put the
(36:31):
family unit back together.
And that is what we work foruntil it is determined by the
court that that is just notgoing to happen or not possible.
And so part of that is workingwith that motherfather
grandmother and that system tosay what services does the whole
family need.
And a lot of times it is therapyor services.
(36:54):
Sometimes the parents needsupportive services and we make
those recommendations umsometimes the family unit needs
you know some things or um ifsome services were brought into
this home this family could beput back together.
And that's the goalunfortunately we're not going to
solve poverty we're not gonnasolve you know all of the ills
(37:18):
of society but we're gonna workwithin society and help to help
families stand up as much asthey can um but we will also say
at some point if if a parentisn't doing anything to get
their child back, is not youknow working towards um making
(37:39):
sure that that can be a safehome for that child, there's
times where we have to say thatas well you know because at some
point that child is a wholebeing in themselves and deserves
to start making connections withsomeone who will put their
safety first, who will look intotheir future with them and who
will give them that stability sothat they can grow up and be
(38:02):
kids at this time.
So yeah and what I'll say a bigthing that we get asked is well
do I have to have any backgroundwell you probably need a clean
background we need you to pass abackground check.
But you don't have to have abackground to be a parent you
know it's it's not like we'rejust looking for social workers.
SPEAKER_04 (38:24):
We're looking for someone who will fight for a
child that could be an engineerit could be a waitress it could
be a retired person it could beyou know whoever it's just that
heart and someone who will standup and say this child deserves
XYZ is there a form of processby which the the the prospective
(38:51):
advocate of prospective parentor something do we have to go
through a legal process you knowJudge Bean got me involved in in
some of this work and I mighthave met you during that time
you know that uh I know her verywell I know her dad as well yeah
you know well I traveled arounda few places she had me speaking
and and and she was trying toget into the youth courts and
(39:12):
things and those people thatmake those decisions and and
things and uh I I I really gotinto that because I thought wow
these children need to betogether.
SPEAKER_03 (39:22):
Her goal whole goal was to keep the family together
and uh we would meet with theseadvocates in the court system
and so forth but I think Iremember some kind of formal
process they put people throughis that some part of what Castor
does most definitely um what westart out by you know people
applying expressing interest onour website or or to us
(39:45):
personally we go through aninterview process we're gonna
ask you some of those questionsthat I talked about at the very
beginning about you know whatbrings you to this you know do
you have experience with thefoster care system?
Do you have how have youresolved any of those things
that you've faced you know we'regonna we're gonna want to ask
(40:08):
those questions and they may betough but we're looking for
someone who's ready to worryabout this child's trauma and
isn't carrying you know all oftheir trauma into this as well
um so we do a a pretty extensiveinterview at the beginning and
just really get to know theperson make sure they have a
full understanding of whatthey're walking into as well as
(40:30):
that they're ready for it andand and things like that.
And then we actually have themcome to court and observe court
one day and see what it's like.
And I will tell you that's beenreal eye-opening for a lot of
people especially people whomaybe um have grown up with with
(40:52):
less disruption or I meanhonestly we we should use the
word privilege you know theprivilege of of a solid family
of of you know kind of thatconsistency seeing others and
and what they may face in courtsometimes is very eye-opening
and takes a little bit of timeto digest and and determine if
(41:13):
that's something they can walkinto um and so we do that and
after each of these we wedebrief with with the person and
then if they're still interestedwhich which many are um we go
through 30 hours of trainingwith them explain you know what
to look for what are um what ischild welfare what are the
(41:35):
priorities how do we how do welook at a case um you know we're
not Mississippi has a traditionof taking children for poverty
and removing them from theirhomes um when you look at in in
Mississippi 70% of the childrenin custody are there for neglect
(41:56):
um neglect is a very open termand neglect had been broadly
used for those that areimpoverished and so taking
people's children because theywere in poverty a few years ago
we worked to change the statelaw um to define neglect as
willful neglect so you've beenoffered resources you've been
(42:19):
offered services and you'redenying them you're choosing to
leave your children underresourced and uncared for which
that's more active rather thanbeing someone who's trying their
best and you know it's not alevel playing field out there.
Right and so you know we have totalk through those things as
(42:42):
well you know just because youmay have more resources than
this person doesn't mean thatthey don't love their children
as much and that they shouldn'thave their children if they can
keep them safe and raise them umyou know with with safety and
security and love.
And so a lot of those conceptsare in that training making sure
(43:05):
that people understand the goalis is to reunify a family until
that becomes evident that it'snot possible and those types of
things.
And so there's a lot of trainingand it's very interactive it's
it's not just being spoken atit's it's really interactive
understanding the cases and thenafter that you know you get
(43:28):
sworn in by the judge and weassign you a case um and we walk
with you every step of that umyou have a supervisor who works
with you monthly and and checksin on you and is your sounding
board as you're looking at thecase and you're you know kind of
digesting it and thendetermining what your
(43:50):
recommendations are.
So it's it's a very supported umsystem but it's um it really
takes someone who can look at asituation and and really kind of
weed down to what will servethis child best in the long
term.
That's exciting to notice theadvocate has an advocate yeah
(44:15):
it's incredible it's incredibleyou mentioned in your bio uh say
uh Samantha that um an adult whofights for a foster child shows
the love of the Lord when yousay that it's obvious that you
have in mind well at least it'sobvious to me reading that that
(44:36):
you have in mind that this workis an outpouring and a
reflection of of a person's loveof God and a person's faith in
Christ um how how how would yousay you know talk and talk to
that a little bit and speak intothat a little bit more how does
your faith guide the way youlead out in this work and guide
(45:00):
the way you serve children inthis work yeah well ironically
um Sunday at church the thepastor spoke on this and and
talked about you know Joseph andhow all the things that happened
in Joseph's life were meant forfor ill will and yeah it was all
(45:22):
ultimately for the betterment ofso many people including Joseph
at the end you know when when hewas able to help so many others
and things so we we look atthese situations and we think
why why does this even existfirst of all but it also gives
an opportunity for us to shine alight into that situation and
(45:48):
help somebody understand thattoday in our lives is just a
blip on a timeline it's not theentirety of our lives but if
you've never seen anythingdifferent than what you're
living in now you don't havethat understanding of what hope
can look like or what future canlook like and so somebody coming
(46:14):
in and showing that love showingthat there are people who care
that there are people who showup and and are consistent and
that do what they say that showsa whole new reality to someone
who may not be experiencingthat.
And many of our people come atthat from their faith story and
(46:39):
their understanding of God'slove and how God has spoken into
us when each one of us is flawedand each one of us is imperfect.
So we're not you know we'reshowing that love it to
imperfect people which are allof us in imperfect times and
(47:00):
showing that their imperfectlives may just be exactly where
God is is is moving them.
I remember growing up talking toGod so many times and I remember
a few times saying okay God Iknow you're building character
but can I use the characteryou've built for a little bit
(47:22):
can you can you let me practiceyou know and then we'll add on
some more character.
But you know understanding thatwe don't all we aren't in
control of the situation all thetime but we're in control of how
we approach it and what we showto other people during those
situations I think is reallythat's one of the hard ways of
(47:47):
of of showing your faith youknow it's um but it I think hope
is what you know and and hebrought up Judge Beam and and
you know she um was leading thethe hope project and and that's
one of the biggest things as yougo through really dark times
(48:11):
like being in foster care whereyou're taken from your friends
your family your school yourhome your pets all of your toys
maybe your room if that was asafe space you're taken from
everything you know and put withstrangers and put in a whole new
world but having hope that yourfuture can be better and that
(48:38):
there can be happiness or thatyou can even find someone who
can walk with you while it'sstill dark into that happiness I
I think is it saved me.
It saved me from being justhopeless and not seeing where I
(48:58):
could be and I'll tell you youknow I had not the best
childhood ended up in fostercare aged out I have two
beautiful daughters threebeautiful stepsons they're all
they've never been hungry a dayin their lives they've never
worried that they weren't lovedor that they weren't cared for
and it took somebody steppinginto my life changing my family
(49:23):
tree and giving me thatstability and that consistency
of a loving person and it'schanged my family tree.
My kids will never know what itwas like to grow up the way I
did and that was the goal.
SPEAKER_07 (49:38):
Yeah I I love I love when you you know just that that
statement that you make changingyour family tree that is man
there's so much light and somuch hope uh and so much life in
in those words they'reincredibly powerful.
I know you're a busy woman sowe're gonna try to uh put a bow
on this and wrap up but um I Igot I got two final questions
(50:01):
for you the first one is is uh Iguess uh more I don't I don't
know if it might be challengesthat but but let me ask it this
way there you know there's somany stigmas and so many um um
preconceived notionsmisconceptions about uh uh
(50:21):
children about this space aboutthis line of work um what do you
perceive to be based on yourexperience the the the biggest
misconception the biggest thingthat we get wrong when we're
looking from the outside intothis work what what what is the
(50:44):
biggest thing that we seem toget wrong around this work my
answer may surprise you um I'veworked with a lot of foster kids
and myself in foster care myexperience as a blonde white
(51:04):
young woman in the foster caresystem was different than the
experiences of young AfricanAmerican males or even females
or others of color there there'sdefinitely a disparity in how
kids navigate the foster caresystem based on ethnic and
(51:26):
racial and and those types of offactors you know the youth I
work with we had a very diversegroup of young people and they
would recognize that you knowthat um you know statistics will
show us that a young AfricanAmerican male um their chances
(51:49):
of finding a forever home are afraction of that of a young
Caucasian or even a a maleCaucasian there's so many
stigmas that go along with umwith that um and you know it's
easy to say we can't talk aboutthat but those those that data
(52:15):
that reality that experience Ihave young men who I've worked
with who shared their storiesand I know that wouldn't have
happened to me I know that youknow those experiences are very
different and we have to behonest about that I know that's
really even harder you know asas our times are changing to
(52:35):
have those discussions but Ithink we need people who will
stand up and not just the cuteadorable foster kids but the
ones that are mad because theyhave a reason to be mad.
SPEAKER_03 (52:50):
The ones that are broken because they've been
broken and still see value inthose young people and still
come and advocate that thatperson deserves the same
outcome.
I'll say it's a priority for usto get good advocates from
(53:11):
everywhere.
But if I had African AmericanAmerican male advocates who
could walk with a young AfricanAmerican male foster kid that
that goes a long way in thatconnection and seeing someone
that looks like me and walkslike me who has this type of
(53:32):
future you know it it gives apathway.
So I think that's definitelysomething that that plays into
this.
And when we look at Heinz CountyI I don't have the exact numbers
but about 90% of our childrenare of color um and so making
sure that we are being sensitiveto the cultural and ethnic
(53:54):
undertones of what that meansyou know and and what that um
means for who we have asadvocates what role models we're
putting in front of them so thatthey can see themselves you know
as as someone who is overcomingand and successful as well.
(54:16):
So I I think that's one of theharder discussions to have about
foster care in you know in manyother areas of society, but
definitely young children andand how they navigate the foster
care system is deeply impactedby that.
SPEAKER_07 (54:32):
Yeah yeah well no we we um we talk about you know in
our organization that thathealthy health uh healthy
community transformation beginswith healthy relationships and
healthy relationships begin withhealthy communication um part of
healthy communication is theability to be able to say that
out loud right to say those hardthings out loud without uh
(54:55):
feeling uh feeling any uhpressure that that that that
you're gonna face some sort ofostracizing because you said it
you know that you can say it butsay it with safety.
And I know one of the thingsthat you know in a book that I
read years ago Jim Collins Goodto Great he talked about
confronting the brutal factsright as part of that's what
(55:16):
separated you know goodorganizations that kind of
fizzled out over time versusgreat organizations that reach
that uh reach that height andthen are able to sustain it is
that they confront the brutalfacts and he said in that book
that um you must confront thebrutal facts or the brutal facts
will eventually confront you.
And I think communities are likethat as well that if we just
(55:37):
kind of gloss over this stuffand paint rosy pictures in areas
that need attention theneventually um eventually the the
the the the paint starts tostarts to bleed and we and and
it starts showing up on ourfront doors in in harmful ways
and shows up uh in in thecommunity in harmful ways and so
we we have to be honest about umthe things that we see when we
(56:01):
see them because that's the onlyway we can really see healing
train uh take place.
So I appreciate I appreciateyour honesty in sharing that I I
really really do.
So here's the last question.
Man we've talked about a lot ofthings the church obviously has
a role in being a part of thesolution as it relates to the
(56:24):
children of our community if youhad if you had one thing two
things maybe that you wouldencourage the church towards in
in in in running in this laneand running in this space how
would you encourage the churchwhat what can the church do uh
(56:44):
to be a better advocate to uhthis this work yeah I'll say a
couple of things first of allthe easy one is I need advocates
I need people in there taking ona kid and and fighting for him
um I'll I'll give you an exampleum I was I have five there were
five of us we lived in um innercity Albuquerque and there was a
(57:09):
church ministry that picked usup every Sunday um and they
picked us up in a bus and theytook us to church and they fed
us lunch and then they broughtus home and um that ministry
ministered to five kids whoseparents had no desire to take
them to church who were um doingdrugs who were you know just not
(57:30):
living the lifestyle and ummyself my sister we both became
saved we were both saved duringthat ministry and a part of that
ministry and about 12 years agomy sister found the lady who she
and her husband drove the busand picked us all up and shared
(57:52):
with her how different our liveswere because those individuals
she and her husband took everySunday gone on a bus and picked
up all of the kids in the poorneighborhood in the bad part of
town and brought them over totheir church and ministered to
them and how she now hadchildren who weren't living like
that.
SPEAKER_03 (58:12):
I had children that weren't living like that and
that we had a strong faithbecause it had been given to us
on a bus singing and going to achurch that opened their arms to
the dirty stinky you know poorkids from the poor neighborhood
um and so that that goes a longway you never know what you're
(58:37):
instilling at any given time ina child that they can take with
them.
As we as I went into foster carethat stayed with me there was a
foundation laid um and so as Iwent through dark times I talked
to God because I had built arelationship with him when I was
young.
And so even though I was goingthrough horrible times I had a
(59:03):
faith and I knew who to talk toand I knew who was there and who
was constant.
SPEAKER_06 (59:07):
And it was because somebody had taken the time to
show me that um and so I thinkthat's it doesn't have to be a
bus ministry um but it's it'simportant the other thing I
would say is there's a lot ofmoms dads family members out
there trying to raise kidsthere's no book there's probably
(59:29):
lots actually there's lots ofbooks but there's you know no
writing there's no perfectperfect book or secret sauce in
this yeah exactly and a lot oftimes when we work with the
courts and a family gets putback together they need
community you know so if we havea church that comes along and
helps fill that food theirpantries for one Sunday that's
(59:51):
great.
SPEAKER_03 (59:52):
But if they come back and check on them in a
month and say hey we just wantedto see if you were okay that mom
needs that support too in thatfamily.
And so we as we're trying tobuild advocates and church
partners we're trying to buildcommunity that'll be left behind
once we are done with thatfamily that they'll still have a
community they can rely on.
SPEAKER_07 (01:00:13):
Yeah that's that's a perfect uh perfect opportunity
for for churches to on board andso I I appreciate you appreciate
you sharing your wisdom and yourcounsel with us not just in that
but just collectively over thisentire episode this has been
absolutely wonderful.
So thank you so much uh Samanthafor your time uh thank you for
your work thank you for yourconviction and passion in this
(01:00:35):
work uh may the Lord add to yournumber and bless us with many
many Many, many more like you.
Um, for those of you all, oh forthose of you, for those of our
listeners who would like to keepup with Casa, how can they do
that?
SPEAKER_03 (01:00:49):
You can visit our website, Casa of Heinz
County.org, all spelled out, soa lot of letters.
Um you can follow us on socialmedia, on Facebook, Instagram,
um, and just get involved.
If if you're thinking aboutbeing an advocate, not quite
sure, just give us a call, we'lltalk you through it.
Um, if you maybe don't want tobe an advocate, but you want to
(01:01:10):
get involved and just help.
We have lots of ways for that tohappen too.
And big one, let me come talk.
Let me come talk tocongregations, to groups, to
organizations, um, trying tospread the word, trying to let
people know that we exist andthat um they can be a part of
the work.
SPEAKER_07 (01:01:29):
Excellent.
Excellent.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for those thatare listening.
You can always uh follow uh thispodcast by going to any podcast
app, um, searching on LivingReconciled.
Be sure to like and share ourepisodes.
That helps us get the messageand the word out, and we would
love for you to do that.
Um, if you want to learn moreabout Mission Mississippi, you
(01:01:50):
can always visitmissionmississippi.org.
Learn about all the work that'staking place, not just uh in
Hines County, but all over thisstate uh in the lane and in the
area of reconciliation.
We would love for you to partnerin that work so you can do so by
visiting our website, click onthe contact page, and also uh
fill out a little form, and thatwill give us an opportunity to
(01:02:11):
connect with you and share withyou a little bit more about
what's going on with us.
It's been a pleasure to hang outwith Samantha on behalf of my
good friend, Nettie Winners.
I am Brian Crawford signing offsaying God bless.
Thanks for joining LivingReconciled.
If you would like moreinformation on how you can be a
part of the ongoing work ofhelping Christians learn how to
(01:02:33):
live in the reconciliation thatJesus has already secured,
please visit us online atmissionmississippi.org or call
us at 601-353-6477.
Thanks again for listening.
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