September 7, 2025 - How to Discover the Way to Transform Your Relationships

In one of William Shakespeare’s great tragedies, Othello, one of the soldiers under his command, a man by the name of Iago, motivated by a wounded sense of injustice and jealous of his commander, plots to destroy Othello. He creates a misrepresentation that appears that Othello’s wife, Desdemona, is having an affair with another man under Othello’s command. While framing this innocent wife of Othello, Iago manages to convince Othello of his loyalty.  The story concludes with Othello believing that his wife has been unfaithful to him.  He kills her only to discover the truth and, in his grief, takes his own life.  

What makes the works of William Shakespeare such great literature? It speaks to the transcendent nature of human relationships. All the struggles, joys, and tragedies of life are addressed, which speaks to the human condition. This is why the Bible is so relevant. Even more importantly, the Bible reveals something we would never know apart from its revelation: the very nature of God and His love towards us. While Shakespeare often leaves us looking at the pain and tragedy of life, the Bible moves us to the hope found in God. Ernest Marshall Howse, in his book, ‘Spiritual Values in Shakespeare, states, “In his last will and testament, Shakespeare wrote: 'I commend my soul into the hands of God my Creator, hoping and assuredly believing, through the only merits of Jesus Christ my Saviour to be made partaker of life everlasting.”

So, what is the underlying reason for the great tragedies of life? What causes unrest, bad feelings, hostile and destructive relationships? What is at the root of these things? In James 3, we find the origins of why relationships deteriorate. Jealousy and envy lead to the desire to destroy another. That is why the religious leaders crucified Jesus. They were jealous and envious of Jesus.

Matthew 27:18

For he [Pilate] knew that it was out of envy that they [religious leaders] had delivered him [Jesus] up.

From the very beginning, we have the issue of jealousy and envy bringing about the destruction of a relationship, and even of life itself. Cain was envious of his brother Abel, and he killed him.

Therefore, the condition of the human heart is crucial for maintaining healthy human relationships. As we examine the landscape of our community, with so many relationships in jeopardy, what does that reveal about the condition of our hearts? 

But what is even more important, what can be done about it? How can our self-centred and sinful nature be subdued? It takes a power greater than us. It is only as we yield to God’s Spirit in our hearts that we can have healthy relationships. One of the results of a Spirit-controlled life is that we live a life of submission, first and foremost, to God. It is only then that His purposes for our lives can be known and lived out. It is through this submission to God that we learn to value others and can learn to submit to them. Submission, then, is a key ingredient in healthy relationships. 

What does the Bible mean when it speaks about submission? Often, we confuse submission with subjugation. Submission speaks of yielding to another.  Submission can either be forced or willingly given. People who are forced to submit or who are being subjugated live in resentment, bitterness, and anger. There has been far too much exploitation and humiliation of people in our world.  The result is nothing but resentment and rebellion. The biblical idea is willful submission. It is something we willingly give to another.

I love the distinction that Warren Wiersbe makes between submission and subjugation.  “Subjugation turns a person into a thing, destroys individuality, and removes all liberty. Submission enables a person to become more of what God wants them to be; it brings out their individuality, giving them the freedom to accomplish all that God has planned for their life and ministry....