August 22, 2025 • 53 mins
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by JoBeth Polley—a speaker, certified grief recovery specialist, and Jesus-loving farm woman whose story will move you to your core.
At just 33, JoBeth became a widow after her husband, Travis, passed away from a terminal illness in 2023. What followed was deep, soul-shaking grief—but God met her in the valley. With raw honesty and unwavering faith, JoBeth shares how the Lord held her through the heartbreak, transformed her pain into purpose, and led her into a life of radical surrender.
Together, we talk about what it really looks like to cling to Jesus in sorrow, how to hold space for both grief and joy, and why loss doesn’t have to be the end of your story—it can be the beginning of something holy.
This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked, “Where is God in all this?” The answer: He’s right there, in the ashes, rebuilding with you.
Ways to connect to JoBeth Polley:
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Your Story, His Glory!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Israel Caminero (00:04):
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(00:27):
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(00:48):
Thanks again for listening, andI'll catch you in the next
episode.
Welcome to Living Testimony.
(01:12):
I'm your host, Israel Caminero,and I hope that everyone that's
listening is blessed and doingwell.
With me today, I have my sisterin Christ.
Her name is JoBeth Polley.
She has a great testimony toshare.
Can you introduce yourself?
JoBeth Polley (01:32):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Um my name is JoBeth Polley.
I recently just got remarriedafter being widowed, which has
been a really exciting andwonderful experience for me.
My whole life growing up, Ialways wanted to help people.
It was always just the desireof my heart.
(01:53):
And I remember a very vividmoment of wanting to help people
and realizing that I'd gonethrough nothing to, you know, be
able to relate to people.
And fast forward several yearsnow, um I've been put in a
couple different situations thathave positioned me very well to
empathize and love and supportpeople who are grieving and
(02:17):
hurting, and um showing them whoGod can be in these really,
really deep, dark moments ofgrief.
And um, you know, there's athere's a lot to those two
stories, but kind of in anutshell, I went through
infertility and then my husbandand I adopted about two years
(02:39):
after beginning to struggle withinfertility.
And about five years after weadopted our children, my husband
was diagnosed with terminalbrain cancer and passed away a
year later.
And so today I just walk a walkthat I have been through with
other people and um share thatthere is light and there is
(02:59):
hope, and where is God and inthese moments of deep, deep
heartbreak.
Israel Caminero (03:05):
Amen.
Amen.
Thank you for sharing that foreverybody.
And we get to hear more of herstory as we go on.
But before she gets started, Iwant to pray over us and I want
to say, Heavenly Father, wethank you for this moment and
for the opportunity for Joe Bethto share the power of
testimony.
Lord, we lift up Joe Beth toyou right now.
(03:25):
We thank you for the strengthyou've poured into her life, for
the resilience that could onlycome from you, and for the
healing journey she's walkedwith you by her side.
Holy Spirit, guide her words asshe speaks.
Let every story, every emotion,and every insight minister to
someone listening today.
Use her voice as a vessel ofhope and of grief and loss for
(03:46):
those that need restoration,that are navigating their own
grief and loss.
Remind every listener that novalley is too deep, no loss too
heavy, and no wound too greatfor your healing hand.
Cover this conversation withpeace, authenticity, and grace.
May it glorify you and bringencouragement to all who hear
(04:07):
it.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
So you touched a little bitabout what you went through, Joe
Beth, but can you take us to aday back in the life of Joe Beth
as she was growing up beforeany of this was happening and
just lead right into your storyof what you went through for
(04:28):
everybody?
JoBeth Polley (04:29):
Yeah, so I grew up in a in a Christian household
and we were in in church everySunday.
We did not miss church.
That was, you know, very, veryhigh priority that we were there
on Sunday mornings, and youknow, I sat in church and I
prayed and I sang and you know,went through the the motions of
what I was supposed to do.
(04:50):
And when I was in middleschool, I got baptized and you
know, was like on the on thetrend, right?
To like living a life um thatwhat of what I thought was what
I was supposed to be doing.
And you know, these experiencesthat I've had have completely
changed my faith.
So I grew up with like maybeyou might say like God in front
(05:13):
of me, but not God in me.
And so definitely trying to hitthese behavior standards of how
Christians act and everything,but not really having a
relationship with God thatdidn't, it did not exist.
And so my childhood was great,that I was well taken care of,
and nothing tragic or bad everhappened, which is just
(05:37):
mind-blowing to me.
Because I have kids now and I'mlike, wow, they didn't even
make it to middle school beforea lot of really terrible things
happened in their lives, and umI have a lot of of gratitude and
thankfulness for that.
But um, like I mentionedearlier, I when I was 18, I was
driving and I was just like, Iwant to help people, I want to
do something.
It's like, but you've not doneanything, like you haven't been
(06:00):
through anything, nobody's gonnarelate to you, like you know,
like you you need to have gonethrough something for you can
help people.
And I was like, Yeah, okay, soI went into education because
I'm like, that's where I'm gonnabe able to help people, you
know, maybe just basic thingslike show love and compassion
and and provide.
And um that's so that's kind ofthe direction I went.
(06:23):
And then about two years aftermy husband and I got married, we
were ready to start a family,and we realized that we were not
gonna be able to have kids.
And so we uh tried to whiteknuckle our way into having kids
and we went through all kindsof infertility treatments all
over the United States.
Like if there was a doctor thatwould see us and had even a
(06:47):
tiny bit of hope that he couldhelp us, we were saving our
money and going, and we spent alot of money trying to get
pregnant, and it and it neverhappened, and it was just one
failure after another, and itwas a really isolating, lonely
time because when you're in yourearly 20s and or in your 20s,
(07:07):
like everybody's gettingpregnant having babies.
So you have lots of friendsthat are having babies.
My sister, um, she found outthat she was pregnant, I think
the day after we found out wewould not be able to have kids,
and that was incredibly I can'teven explain, like uh, it was
such a strange feeling of somuch excitement because I was
(07:30):
gonna get to be an aunt.
I was really excited, I knewI'd be really close to this kid,
and then deep sadness, like Ihad never known before, because
I was gonna watch my sister dosomething that I wanted so bad,
and knowing that and I was stillkind of hopeful that a doctor
would be able to help us, butthey pretty much said we
wouldn't be able to have kids,so we kind of knew, but we're
(07:52):
still clinging to some hope.
Um, along the way, lots offriends got pregnant and um and
nobody knew.
Uh nobody knew that we couldn'thave kids, except my sister did
know, she was the only one thatknew, and it kind of just got
to experience what it's like tobe grieving something that is
just life-shattering and nobodyknowing, nobody being there to
(08:13):
support you, and then there'sthe layer that um nobody knows
how to support you.
So it's just reallycomplicated.
So fast forward, we didinfertility stuff for two years,
just one failure after theother, and um kind of got kind
of got over trying.
Like it was it was time to bedone, and it's just really
contemplating what if I wantedGod put this desire to be a mom
(08:37):
in my heart and took away myability to have children.
And I was like, this isn't thisis hard, this doesn't make
sense.
Like I don't really know whatto do with this.
It was so painful.
Um, and so I went to a silentretreat, um, just me wasn't like
a lot of people, and there wasone lady there that like kind of
ministered to people and me,that was it.
(08:57):
And uh, because I was trying tofind clarity on this situation
because it just, like I said,didn't make sense that God had
put the desire to be a mom in myheart, but didn't give me the
ability.
I was in silence for an entireday, just with my Bible in
prayer, sleeping, like just kindof bouncing back between the
three, and and you know, justtalking to God and crying out to
(09:18):
him.
I was sitting there studying,and he spoke to me and he was
like, There's a little girl thatneeds a mom more than you need
to have your own child.
And it was just crystal clearto me, and I was just like,
Okay, it's like kind of like Ijust like dusted my hands and
stood up and was like, okay,that's what we're doing.
So from there we moved intoadopting from foster care.
(09:39):
And about six months later,six, seven months later, um, we
met our kids.
And if you know anything aboutthe foster care system or kids
who are available for adoptionin the United States, there's
thousands of kids in the UnitedStates that need homes.
And so I knew we were gonnahave options with who we got,
(10:03):
you know, like if what kids wewanted, basically.
Israel Caminero (10:06):
Right.
JoBeth Polley (10:06):
And so I just prayed, like, you know, what um
I need you to tell me when I seemy kids.
I need to know so that we makethe right decision, you know,
because it was in our hands.
About a month later, my son, wewere gonna babysit him, he was
in foster care, we were gonnababysit him and his sister.
(10:27):
And my son walked through thedoor and just clear as day, I
heard that's your son, which wasreally cool.
I was like, Oh gosh, yeah, likethat's him.
But he was not available to beadopted.
He was not he, we were justbabysitting him because he was
in foster care, and we werehelping his his family, his
foster family out with him.
And so I was like, Okay, that'scool.
He's my son, and he's not Ican't adopt him, so what's going
(10:51):
on there?
And so we were we wereconsistent and consistently in
his life, and about a year laterwe were able to adopt him and
his sister, and they we're allstill together today.
They're still with us andhaven't spent, you know, been
there forever home for sure.
So that was really, reallyamazing how you know God
answered a lot of prayers withone one situation, and
(11:14):
infertility is definitely nothealed by adoption, but I think
infertility does put us in asituation where we get to do
some of God's work and we get toshow up for people, put the
desires of our heart aside toshow up for somebody who really
needs us.
That's what happened in thatsituation.
And then we were together forabout five years, the four of
(11:38):
us, and things felt verycomplete.
We we bought a farm.
It was our dream to have afarm.
My husband's dream mostly, likehe loved farming and cattle and
stuff, and so we we bought afarm about the same time we got
the kids, and we startedbuilding our house, and like his
business was going great, and Ihad a good career, and the
(12:00):
kids, we were homeschooling thekids, and things were really
good for about five years, andthen my husband started having
really bad headaches, and theykept getting worse and worse,
and then they got so bad he waslike sick to his stomach because
he was in so much pain.
I took him to urgent care.
We went to urgent care, theyimmediately took him back for a
(12:22):
CT, came back with the resultsquickly and said he has a math
on his brain, and you need to goto the emergency room right
now.
We went across the street, andwithin an hour, they had done an
MRI and had diagnosed him withterminal brain cancer.
They gave us a pamphlet andthat said that he had probably
12 to 16 months to live.
(12:44):
You could do um radiation andchemo and surgery to extend his
life, but he would not surviveit.
And they sent us home.
We went home with um just aheart full of shattered dreams,
a shattered future of I mean, wejust he had just built our
(13:07):
home, and like I said,everything was so good, and we
had vacations and good family,like family was so good on both
sides, like life was so good.
And then just in an instance,it was black, dark, there was no
(13:30):
nothing.
There was no there was nofuture because I didn't know if
he I mean when you have braincancer, you could die at any
minute, right?
Like, because it's so it's it'syour brain.
Um our quality of life wasover.
Like it was it was we were justgonna be on a downhill spiral.
(13:52):
And I am a very optimisticperson.
So I'm I'm shocked, I'm grossedout by this diagnosis.
I am I am in deep, deep, deepgrief.
But in the deepest of my grief,I was like, I serve a big God
who can do big things.
Israel Caminero (14:11):
Amen.
JoBeth Polley (14:12):
And he's gonna save my husband.
I believe that.
I believed with everything Ihad in me that he was going to
be okay, even though I could notfind somebody who survived um
glioblastoma, which is what hehad, I felt like he was gonna be
the one because my faith was sostrong, and I was getting
(14:36):
videos and messages from peopleuh all around the world, like in
other countries, people prayingfor him, and people in other
languages praying for him, and Iknew I was praying and fasting,
and so were people in ourchurch, and I was like, God's
gonna hear us, and he's gonna beokay, and this is gonna be his
(14:57):
testimony.
Israel Caminero (14:58):
Amen.
JoBeth Polley (14:59):
And I'm gonna backtrack just a little.
He had been in church his umever since we've been together,
so 13 years, he started goingwhen we got together, and I
could always tell that like youknow, during invitation or
certain certain sermons andstuff, like I feel he's really
uncomfortable, but he neverwould like give his life.
(15:20):
That was never he never woulddo that, and it was always
really upsetting to me becauselike I wanted that for him after
his diagnosis.
He decided to to do that.
He was like, Okay, like I thisis important and I want to do
this now, and he wanted to besaved, and so um we we met with
our preacher and he was savedand he was baptized, and I a
(15:43):
preacher a while later was like,Thank God for stage four
cancer, and I was like, Oh,brother, I can't get there right
now, like to be thankful forthis.
But um the the cancer gave myhusband the opportunity to spend
eternity with Christ, that hehe had just been postponing.
(16:05):
A good friend of mine, she waslike, I'm just curious, she's
like, How have you prayed foryour husband?
And like in your marriage, andI was like, Oh my gosh.
I was like, My prayer hasalways been that he would give
his life to God before it wastoo late.
It was never that he was gonnalead us spiritually or that he
was going to do these bigthings, it was just that he
(16:28):
would do it before it was toolate, and he did.
And I was like, Oh my gosh,this thing that I have prayed
for has happened.
Israel Caminero (16:37):
That's right.
JoBeth Polley (16:38):
I told my mom we were sitting at the counter a
few days or a few months afterhis diagnosis and things were
going downhill, and we weretalking about it, and I said, If
God was at this table with us,and he said, Okay, Jobet, you
can have your husband the restof your life.
He's gonna be here, you cangrow old together, raise your
(17:01):
kids, do the things that youhave to do, but he won't go to
heaven.
Or I can take him now and he'llcome be with me forever.
Which would you choose?
And I told my mom, I wouldchoose a thousand times for him
to go now so he could inheritthe kingdom, and and she was
like, I don't know that I couldsay that.
(17:22):
And I was like, I don't knowhow you couldn't say that.
I'm gonna miss him, it's gonnabe hard, and it has proven to be
very hard.
But I I am happy for him, youknow, um that he he got he got
something that he didn't evenknow that he fully desired, you
know?
Like he he made a big decisionwhen it really mattered, and I'm
(17:46):
so happy for him for that.
But back to kind of the end, Iwas in so much communication
with God.
It was my prayer the whole timewas that like you know, God,
like you can take him or you canheal him here.
No matter what, I'm not goinganywhere, I'm not leaving you
(18:10):
because the only thing I couldimagine that was gonna be worse
than losing my husband was gonnabe losing my husband and losing
my relationship with God.
Israel Caminero (18:18):
Oh wow, that's that's good.
JoBeth Polley (18:20):
And I I wasn't willing to do it, and I had seen
so many people just get sobitter after loss and be so
ugly, and I was like, Well, Iknow I don't want to do that.
Like, that's for sure not thepath I'm gonna choose to go
down.
And you know, sometimes meshowing up sounded like just
crying out, like, please give methat peace that surpasses all
(18:41):
understanding that I've read of.
Like, now would be the time forthat.
Like, please give me that,like, you know, begging, and
sometimes it was just tears, andthen after he passed for
several months, it was justsilence.
I didn't have anything to say.
Like, I don't know what to say.
I begged you for something, andyou said no.
And so I'm just letting youknow that I'm here and I'm not
(19:03):
going anywhere, and I havenothing to say.
In my heart, I knew, orlogically, maybe not my heart,
in my mind, I knew I had a lotto be thankful for.
Um, and I could go through thatand go, Thank you for my kids,
they're helping, thank you forthis house.
I'm so thankful.
Thank you that we made adecision to get life insurance
so that I don't have to selleverything and move into an
apartment.
Like, you know, with the kids,and you know, like I'm going
(19:27):
through this stuff in my headlogically, like I I have a lot
to be thankful for.
But all I could say was I'mhere.
Israel Caminero (19:33):
That's right.
JoBeth Polley (19:34):
Like that's it.
Israel Caminero (19:35):
And you know, I'm I'm so thankful myself that
of what you just said, as far asyou're not going anywhere.
A lot of people lose theirfaith when they battle through
things like this.
And how can you battlesomething like this without
having God by your side?
I feel like the battle wouldget that much harder without
(19:58):
having him there to Help youthrough it.
And you did exactly that.
JoBeth Polley (20:04):
Yeah.
So I mean, I see I work, that'smy work that I do now is I work
with women who are goingthrough deep grief.
And I will tell you, it looksvery different when I work with
women who are strong in theirfaith than those who have
abandoned God.
And um, just to be clear, we wechoose to abandon God.
He doesn't abandon us.
Israel Caminero (20:25):
Right.
JoBeth Polley (20:25):
And even though like I know that it can feel
like he's not there sometimes,he is, and you're the one who
has the option to keep showingup or to walk away.
But I I like preach heavy, likeif you are in a deep, dark time
of your life, grief or not,like just a dark period, and you
(20:50):
are turning away from God,you're shutting God out, you are
missing out on the mostbeautiful opportunity for
intimacy with God.
There is nothing that is goingto bring you closer than
something really, really hard.
And grief is isolating, and andyou know this.
(21:12):
Like it's at the end of theday, like you, okay, something
somebody dies, or you lose yourjob, or you get this diagnosis,
or something that just terriblehappens, your home burns down,
and it's like, okay, you'resitting here and you're like,
okay, like I'm getting thesecards in the mail.
People are, you know, wishingus the best, they're praying for
us, like they sent $50 orwhatever to help with stuff, and
(21:36):
then you're like, all thesepeople are bringing over
casseroles, and that's reallynice, and I'm glad we have that
food, and really thankful forthat.
And then you go in your roomand you shut the door, and it's
you and your grief.
There is nobody that is goingto come into that moment with
you and make it better.
(21:57):
And hugs are nice, talking topeople is nice, but at the end
of the day, you're laying downwith your grief, and you are the
only one that can do anythingabout it.
And who else do you have inthat moment?
God.
Israel Caminero (22:13):
Amen.
JoBeth Polley (22:14):
Like there is nobody else.
And so, man, when you whenyou're grieving and you turn
from him, you're turning awayfrom the from your lifeline.
Israel Caminero (22:23):
It makes it harder.
JoBeth Polley (22:26):
I yeah, like you said, I don't know how I mean I
think people I don't know, theyfind ways to make themselves
feel better, but like yeah, itjust makes it.
Israel Caminero (22:40):
I don't think deep down inside they're happy
though.
I mean, no one's gonna be happywith a diagnosis like that
anyways, but like you said, thepeace that God gives you while
you're going through it is thebest feeling ever.
JoBeth Polley (22:58):
Yeah, yeah, like I've I have had moments, you
know, I begged God for thatpeace.
Please, I need respite.
I need something, I need a realI need something to like
relieve this pain for a minute.
And I've begged God for that,and then you know, a little
while later, you know, day ortwo, we clear, I'm like, oh my
gosh, I feel okay.
What's wrong with me?
(23:18):
Why do I feel at peace?
Why do I feel okay?
And then like, oh, this is whatI prayed for, just enjoy it.
It may not last super long.
So like try to enjoy it, but weyou do have the opportunity to
meet with the the Prince ofPeace and just just to sit with
(23:39):
him.
And the Bible tells us over andover again that that that we
are blessed when we grieve, andthat when we're hurting, like
that is when like God shows upthe best.
That's where we can see him,the clearness.
That's like one of the things Ilove about um the book of Job.
(23:59):
Gosh, I hope I get this right.
Somewhere in there, he says, Upuntil now my ears have heard
you, but now my eyes see you.
And that is what grief can dofor us.
What a blessing.
Israel Caminero (24:13):
That's right.
JoBeth Polley (24:14):
What a blessing that we get to experience that.
I'm never gonna be thankful myhusband died.
I'm not gonna be thankful forthat.
But I can there is so manyblessings that I have witnessed
since his passing.
I got a phone call fromsomebody and they're like, gosh,
I get emotional every time Ithink about this.
It was one of my husband'sfriends, and he said, Um, that's
(24:37):
a few months after my husbandhad died, and he said, Um, I
just wanted to call and tell youthat I go to I go to church
now.
And he's like, I've stoppeddrinking.
And he said, um, he's like, Iit was when he was when my
husband was sick, he'd reachedout to somebody and he was like,
Hey, like, to this person.
(24:57):
He was like, I he's like, yourprayers aren't working, he's not
getting better.
And the friend said, Why don'tyou go to church and pray for
him yourself?
Israel Caminero (25:04):
Wow.
JoBeth Polley (25:05):
And he did.
And and it's just beautifulbecause um my husband died and
this person's still in church,and he wanted to call and tell
me that Travis was the reasonthat he goes to church and that
he he has stopped drinking andhe's moved towards more life
aligned with Christ.
I can be so thankful for that.
(25:27):
A soul potentially is savedbecause of my husband and his
tragedy.
But my point is that it doesn'tmatter how bad the situation
is.
Like when we read about God turuh take, you know, making
beauty from ashes, like this isreal.
(25:48):
This is it's a real thing, it'snot just a scripture or
something that sounds pretty oris catchy in a song lyric.
Like he does that, and asChristians, we need to choose to
believe that what he says isreal and it's true, and it
applies to us because if wedon't, we miss out on so much of
the beauty of of who he is inour life and just what this life
(26:13):
is about in general.
Israel Caminero (26:15):
Amen.
That's so true.
You know, it's it's not easygoing through what you went
through getting a diagnosis, youknow, especially after you said
you bought the farm, um, youjust adopted kids.
You know, I mean kids wereinvolved, and you know, their
their fathers got diagnosed withsomething that's terminal.
(26:38):
Um how did you manage once yourhusband made it to glory?
How did you manage the farm andyou know, raising the kids all
on your own and everything likethat?
JoBeth Polley (26:50):
So my parents were instrumental in the
transition of things, and my uhmy husband had brain cancer, so
and it was in the front rightpart of his brain which controls
personality.
And so the last like six monthsof his life, he um it was kind
of like he had dementia.
Okay, and so his he completelychanged, he was not the same
(27:11):
person anymore.
He could mask and like benormal for a little bit because
I asked the hospice people, I'mlike, what's happening?
Or his doctors.
I'm like, he's normal aroundthese people, and then comes
home and acts like he doesn'teven know he's home.
And they they can mask or theycan act okay out in public, but
then they can't when they gethome.
It's a thing, it's reallyconfusing for caretakers.
(27:32):
So my parents moved in with usand really helped us transition,
and so he he kind of left usvery slowly, and so it allowed
me to kind of get my feet underme.
There was like so many peoplethat helped my uh best friend.
She moved in kind of with mewhen she was not working, she
was at my house and she helpedme with the kids a lot, and my
(27:54):
parents helped a lot.
So, I mean, I had a lot ofsupport, but honestly, like
there was just this moment ofrealizing that like this is all
you like it's nice that yourparents help and that your
friend helps, but like this istemporary, you've got to figure
out how to do this on your own.
And so I was like figuring itout and like trying to get my
(28:14):
feet under me and trying tounderstand, and very quickly, so
seven months after my husbandpassed away, I met the guy that
I'm married to now, and itseemed too soon by a lot of
people's standards.
Um, but it was it felt like itjust like I literally saw him
(28:37):
and felt like I will be withthat person the rest of my life.
And I never had a conversationwith him in person.
I talked to him on the phonetwice because it was
work-related and it was very itwas all about work, and then I
saw him and it was like, oh mygosh, I'm gonna marry this guy.
And in fact, I was supposed tomeet him, and I turned around
and got back in my vehicle andpostponed our meeting because it
(29:00):
was just so overwhelming.
So I tell you that to say I wasonly alone, like with the farm
and my kids for seven months,really.
Um probably closer to a yearbefore I let him start like
coming around and helping andstuff.
But I had to learn how to do abunch of stuff I had no idea how
to do was the most frustratingpart.
(29:20):
And saying things like I don'tknow a hundred times a day
because people would be askingme questions like where are the
keys to this?
Where's the title to this?
Where, you know, how many cowsdo you have?
Like, what about did you makethis police payment?
I was like, I don't know.
I don't, I don't know anything.
And so I learned how to do alot of things.
Like, I learned how to drive atractor, and I grew up on a farm
(29:43):
and we had farms, but nobodyever let me on the tractor.
So I didn't know how to run it.
And so I had to learn how torun the tractor and feed the
cows, and it was so empoweringto do that.
I will say though, that likewhen it was really jerky and
really rough on the tractor, andso like I was like, gosh, the
cows are probably looking at methinking, like, who is this
(30:04):
lady?
And is this really the personthat's responsible for taking
care of us now?
And I'm like, oh, like when youstart feeling judged by
animals, that's when it's bad.
It's really bad at that point.
But I I started to figure itout, and it's really hard.
Like, I'm not gonna like I feeleven now that I'm remarried,
(30:24):
like I'm still my kid's onlyparent, you know, like they lost
their dad.
And so, you know, it's hewasn't replaceable.
So navigating that with them ishard.
Like having a farm is hard.
We had a construction companywhen he passed, and figuring out
that business was hard.
(30:44):
Like the it's just hard, butit's also, you know, like I I
was so intentional about myjourney.
I would get up in the morningand I would take an ice bath.
And the reason I would do thatwas to remind myself who I was,
and it was like a pump up thing.
I was like, get in that ice,and like you like you need you
(31:06):
need to remember who you are andhow tough you are and how
strong you are.
And I did that by taking an icebath.
And I was like, I'd get out andI'd be like, Ain't nobody else
doing this.
There's nobody else.
It's just like in mysituations, getting up and
putting themselves in pain andsuffering first thing in the
morning, like you know, and itlike gave me this edge, and I I
was articulate.
(31:27):
I I ran my recovery and myfamily and everything around me,
like it was a business, becauseme getting better and healing
and making sure my kids wereokay was not something that I
was just gonna let happenorganically.
We were gonna have a plan andwe were gonna execute it, and
that's what we did.
(31:48):
Are we like some like you know,poster family?
No, we're not, but like we'resurvivors and we're recovering
every day, and a lot of that isjust because of that mindset,
like I'll figure it out.
Everything's figure outable,everything.
Israel Caminero (32:06):
That's right.
So, question you you said yougrew up in a Christian home and
and you went to church andeverything like that, and even
during your husband's diagnosis,you know, you were still deep
in your faith.
How did your faith evolve ordeepen during the darkest part
of your of this journey?
JoBeth Polley (32:29):
Yeah, so oh, this is such a a big question.
So it was probably a little bitbefore my husband got sick that
I started realizing that theexperiences I was having with
God and the way I seen God andyou know, seen him and
(32:49):
experienced him was verydifferent than what people in my
church were having.
Like I would go to I would goto church on Sunday and I'm
like, okay, I'm hearing this,but I'm experiencing this and
reading this, and like for me,this doesn't like really line
up.
Like I don't I don't know likewhat's happening, but I don't
(33:09):
feel like like the things I'mexperiencing you guys are
preaching don't really happenand they're not real, and which
is hard because um my dadpreaches at this church and my
family all goes to that church,but like I felt like it wasn't
the right place for me, and so Ijust like I said, I I felt like
(33:29):
I went to church, I was like Iwas doing what I was supposed to
be doing, go to church, thatwas really important, um, show
up in your community in acertain way, that was really
important, but like as far aslike having this like um this
desire, um, this craving forknowledge and intimacy, like
(33:55):
that was kind of increasing.
And then when my husband gotsick, it was like that was all
there was.
It was like nothing, nothing ofthis world brought me any
pleasure or contentment orpeace, and so it was like I had
to go all in on that, and then Imean, let's talk about this.
(34:17):
I prayed and believed fully,and God took my husband to
heaven, right?
So it's like I had this verystrong faith, and then was told
no, essentially, like, no, thisis not what's gonna happen.
And so, like I said, I wassilent for a while because I
just didn't know what to say,and then there was things that
(34:39):
started coming up in the churchand in my family, and I was
like, what does the Bible say?
I just got real curious.
I got real curious, and like ifthere's one thing you can do
that just feels really good isgetting curious and finding
answers in the Bible, becauselike that's the end, right?
Like, if you can find answersin the Bible, you don't need
somebody else's opinion aboutit, and it just kind of closes
(35:01):
the door on things, you know?
Right.
And so I just got I was justbecame so curious, and I was in
Bible studies in my community,and I was in Bible study all the
time, like I was justconstantly in study and really
getting to rediscover, like itmade me so hungry and so curious
that like I got to read anddiscover God for myself instead
(35:24):
of at the feet of a preacher,and that was really huge, it was
really huge for me because Ididn't want people's opinions.
I was out on a job with the guyI'm married to now, my husband,
and this guy, the propertyowner, he started talking about
God, and I was like, Oh, let'stalk about God, you know.
I was talking to him, and hewas like, I was telling him, you
know, that I was transitioningout of this church that I'd been
(35:45):
in my whole life, and and hewas like, Well, why don't you
come to Bible study and I'lltell you blah blah blah about
how things are supposed to be orwhatever, and I was so turned
off by it because I was like, Idon't want another, and I mean
this probably sounds rude, but Iwas like, I don't want another
old man telling me what I'msupposed to believe about what
(36:07):
the Bible says, and so I, youknow, I was like, thank you, no,
thank you, and we didn't go,but it just made me like I was
like, I want to know for me, Idon't want to know somebody's
twist or interpretation or anyof that.
I want to know what the Biblesays for me, and I am just in
(36:28):
such a wonderful place in myspirituality now that um and
through the through the illnessand the passing of my husband
and discovering Christ, like I'mseeing my desire for material
things pass away.
That's been really such a gift,um, and it's very different
than how I grew up.
(36:49):
I grew up like, and part ofit's personality and part of
it's my raising, is that youalways need to be striving for
that next level, whatever it is.
I was an athlete, so it's like,okay, your best, your highest
game's 25, and you get 26 now.
You got 26 and you get 27, likeyou got 30, you gotta get 40.
Like it was just like climbing,climbing, climbing, and then
(37:10):
it's like, you know, financiallyyou should build success, build
wealth, build wealth, buildthis, consume more, like, like
buy more, build more.
Like it's like, and it's like Ijust recently I'm just like,
oh, yeah, that doesn't matter.
Israel Caminero (37:25):
Right.
JoBeth Polley (37:27):
And it's so liberating.
Israel Caminero (37:29):
You can't take it with you.
That's what I always say, youknow.
JoBeth Polley (37:33):
No, I mean, do I want to go on vacations and have
like a good life where we cango out and eat with our families
and vacation and and do thethings we want to do?
Yes, but does that need to bein my top three focus every day?
No.
Israel Caminero (37:48):
Right.
Memories and legacy is whatreally matters.
And yeah.
And speaking of You said yougot remarried.
Now, how do you keep yourhusband's legacy alive while
stepping boldly into your newlife that you have of your own?
JoBeth Polley (38:09):
Oh, that's a great question.
And I think the biggest thingis character, because he was so
generous and he loved people,and it was like, and we were in
this situation a lot, and whenwe were married, like somebody
would need like a couple hundreddollars, and he would write the
(38:30):
check for it, like knowing thatwe didn't have it in the
account, and then basically we'dgo figure out how to make $200
before that check hit the bank.
That's the kind of person hewas, and I have this
conversation a lot with my sonbecause my son loves my
husband's things, he loves hisclothes, his hats, his boots,
(38:50):
like whatever was my husband's.
Like, my son's very possessiveover it.
And I'm like, this stuff's finethat you're you want that, but
the way you can honor your dadis how you live your life every
single day.
And reminding my kids thattheir father was generous, he
(39:13):
gave it didn't matter, it wasn'tthat he just gave money, he
would give of his time.
He could be right in the middleof something and he would quit
and go help somebody, and thatis how we continue his legacy.
He had a construction company,but that wasn't his legacy.
That's not like that's not atthe core who he was.
At the core, he was loving andgenerous and would do anything
(39:36):
for others.
And that is how I want my kidsto live their life and how they
will honor him and keep his, youknow, keep his legacy moving
forward.
And hopefully when they havekids someday, they're gonna tell
them about their grandpa andhow how he was generous.
So if we see somebody besidethe road with a flat tire, we
(39:57):
stop because that's what hewould do.
Israel Caminero (40:00):
Amen.
That's good.
That's good.
Now you became a grief recoveryspecialist, you said, correct?
Mm-hmm.
Obviously we know what led youto want to help others, right?
I'm guessing it's because ofwhat happened to you.
So what does the healing looklike for you today as far as
pouring into all these otherfemales or even males?
(40:22):
I'm not sure if you coach maleswith the grief recovery.
Yeah.
Can you share a little bitabout your grief recovery with
my audience?
JoBeth Polley (40:33):
Yeah, so I primarily work with with women
just because it just is a betterfit for me.
I do know men who do this work.
So if there are guys listeningand they're like, I need help,
like I I can hook you up.
Like you still reach out.
I can I can make connectionsfor you and get you the help
that you need.
So my husband passed the very,very beginning of 23.
(40:56):
We're in 25.
Obviously, it's still veryfresh, a very fresh loss.
But and people do ask me a lot,like, how do you do this work
when you have the loss yourself?
And the answer is that I knowthat there is a chapter after
(41:16):
this one that's so dark.
And I know what it's like to bein that situation where there's
just darkness, there is nolight, there is no hope, there's
just this, there's there's justnothingness.
And when I'm on the other sideof the table or on the other
side of the computer, I knoweven though they're in that dark
(41:36):
place, I know that I'm gonna bepart of helping them get to the
other side.
And I don't dwell on the factthat they're suffering right
now.
I dwell on the fact that I'mliterally taking their hand and
walking them to a place wherethey can see light, where they
can be okay again.
And for some reason, it doesnot affect me.
Like I can do a session andwalk out and I can be okay.
(42:00):
Um, and I think it's just thatbecause I'm I'm in the next
chapter of being like, okay,like there is I can see good in
life again.
Like I can look outside andappreciate that the sun is
shining or that there's trees orsomething.
Cause for a long time I didn't.
I was like, who cares?
Might as well be dark for all Icare, you know, like there is
no beauty in the world.
And so it's really just gettingpeople to that other side.
(42:21):
And as you know, like sometimeswhen people are in deep dark
grief, like God is not a part oftheir life by their choice, but
He's not there, and it is veryseldom that when people come to
me, they'll tell me that they'reangry at God, or they're the
(42:42):
big problem is that they feellike God has abandoned them.
Like they never say that it'swell, this person died, or this
person abandoned me, or this orthat.
And I'm like, okay, then we geta few, three, four weeks into
the work, and they're like, It'sGod.
I feel like God's left me.
And I get to walk peoplethrough healing their
(43:04):
relationship with God.
And like we talked aboutearlier before we hit record, if
I can do that for one person,then it's all of it's worth it.
So it's it's not a problem forme because I know there's
there's light on the other side.
Israel Caminero (43:20):
Amen.
That's that's powerful.
And I'll have links to all thatin the description of the
podcast.
If anybody that's listeningwants to reach out to her and
just speak about something youmight be going through similar.
So Joe Beth, I appreciate youtaking the time to be here and
sharing your testimony.
(43:41):
I know you're a busy person,especially with all the things
that you do and running tractorsand having cows judge you and
everything like that.
I'm kidding, I'm totallykidding.
I have a question.
Was there a a life verse or aBible verse that stuck with you
throughout life, or not eventhroughout life?
(44:02):
Maybe when you started thisjourney with your husband that
you could always go back to andread and it speak to you when
you're having a bad day?
And what is that life verse andwhat it means to you?
JoBeth Polley (44:17):
So when I was like in it, like in it, in it, I
read Romans eight, like it wasum almost like a meditation.
I'd read it again and again andagain, and I'd listen to it and
go over it.
I'm not gonna do that rightnow.
But if you are in a place ofhurting, there's a lot of
(44:37):
comfort found in Romans 8.
But the one that I I reallythink is maybe foundational for
people to cling to is um Romans5, starting with verse 3.
And it says that not only that,but we also glory in
tribulations, which is likemind-blowing, right?
If you're in it, you're like,how am I supposed to glory in
(45:01):
this?
But you do knowing thattribulation produces
perseverance and perseverancecharacter and character hope.
Now, hope does not disappointbecause the love of God has been
poured out in our hearts by theHoly Spirit who is given to us,
and that is always a comfort tome, even though I can't always
(45:28):
understand it, how we can gloryin our tribulations biblically.
We know that it's something weshould do and we know it's
available, but actually doing itis um much harder.
So we need that confirmationfrom the word to you know be
like, okay, he said it, so I canbelieve it.
Israel Caminero (45:48):
Amen.
Amen.
That's a good verse, by theway.
Now we're going to my back tothe past podcast.
And what my back to the pastsection of the podcast is.
If you could tell you fromyears ago something that you
(46:08):
know now that you didn't, whatwould it be?
Like if you can go back in timeand tell a younger version or
even before you started thisjourney with your husband or
anything like that, somethingthat you learned now that you
didn't know then, what wouldthat be?
JoBeth Polley (46:27):
Oh, it would be that I'm thinking like I'm
looking at at six-year-old JoeBat.
I would say you're enough andyou're good enough.
And all these things that youthink you need to achieve and
(46:48):
accomplish and do don't matter.
You're enough, you're worthy oflove, and you're worthy of
God's love despite anything thatyou do in your life.
I think it would have made ahuge difference for a lot of my
years if I would have known Iwas good enough from a young
age.
Israel Caminero (47:09):
Amen.
Well, you are enough.
And God knows that.
But I just want to say againthank you for being here and
sharing that powerful testimony.
It's not easy going throughgrief and you you went through
(47:29):
it and look what you're doingnow.
You're especially, you know,you try to talk to others and
guide them through grief, whichis not easy, like you said,
because it's fairly new with youtoo.
But but you're doing it andyou're doing it because God
wants you to do it, and you'reobeying and doing that.
(47:51):
But before we close, is thereanything else you might want to
share before we close?
JoBeth Polley (47:59):
No, I think that's it.
Maybe, yeah, actually, so Ioffer like these like 30-minute
conversations with people.
Um, they're free, but I thinkthat a lot of times people are
stuck in confusion.
And we know, like, um, youknow, you can even say like
God's not the author ofconfusion, and I believe that
(48:23):
everybody really knows what theyneed to do, and that a confused
mind does nothing, you know,there's a bunch of negative
around being confused.
And if you're in a place whereyou are grieving and you're
like, I just don't know what todo, like I want to be better,
but I don't know how.
I offer these free 30-minuteconversations, and people can
schedule those, and you you'llyou'll have links to that, but
(48:46):
I'm not for everybody, and Iknow that.
And I also know that noteverybody needs a grief
specialist, some people needtherapy, some people need to go
to rehab, some people just needa friend, and within 30 minutes
or less, way less, probably, Ican give you a pretty good idea
(49:07):
of what your next step should beand help you clear up some of
the confusion.
And so, you know, I want tooffer that to the people
listening that you know, giveyourself 30 minutes, it's one
small step in the rightdirection towards healing, and
you shouldn't really takeadvantage of it.
Israel Caminero (49:23):
That's right.
That's right.
And like like we both said,I'll have links to all that in
the description of the podcast.
You never know, you might havesomeone reach out and say, Hey,
I heard you here.
JoBeth Polley (49:34):
Yeah, that'd be great.
Israel Caminero (49:35):
That would be great.
And before we close, do youthink you could pray over us?
JoBeth Polley (49:41):
Yeah, for sure.
I'd love team.
Dear Lord, my father in heaven,I'm so thankful for
opportunities like this where wewe're just so it's so crazy,
and it's we're just so blessedto be able to have conversations
that spread your your word andyour hope and your life so
(50:05):
easily.
Like in thinking back to whenyou were here and how hard it
was to share a message and nowlook at us.
Now we can so easily sharemessages and give messages of
hope to people who may know youand some who may not.
And I just want to thank youfor that.
And I want to pray for peoplewho are in deep grief and they
(50:27):
they think you've left them.
Lord, I pray that you will showup and I pray that they will
receive you, and and I don'tknow what that looks like, or
maybe it's a friend that thatcomes and and shows them who you
really are and that you haven'tleft them.
But I just pray for thosepeople that are hurting and that
(50:48):
they will see you and see lightand realize that there is more
to this life after loss, andthat that you're gonna be there
with them the whole way.
And um, I pray for people likeus that are uh that are speaking
and um getting in the ears ofpeople who are hurting, that we
just we say the right thingsbecause it's um it's a huge
(51:10):
responsibility, and we just wantto honor you in everything we
do, and just pray that you'llyou'll be with each of us and
that everything we do today,every step we take, will honor
you, and that our love for youwill light up the world.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Israel Caminero (51:26):
Amen.
Amen.
Thank you for that prayer, andthank you again for taking the
time to be on the podcast andshare your story.
And like I said, like I alwayssay, it's her story, but it's
his glory.
And you know, I don't know whatelse to say, but God was with
(51:47):
you, and God will continue to bewith you.
And you know, I'm happy foryour new life and your kids, and
you're still going throughgrief, grief comes out of
nowhere, but you're doing thegreat thing.
You're doing the right thing.
I just want to give a shout-outto all the listeners, love it
(52:11):
to me.
I just want to thank you fortuning in.
(52:32):
Listening,
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's
episode.
I'm grateful for your supportand for being part of this
community.
If you've been enjoying thepodcast so far, I'd love it if
you could take a minute to leavea review.
Your feedback helps me reachmore people and share these
inspiring stories with others.
Let's spread the word.
Please share this podcast withyour friends and family.
(00:27):
And if you haven't already, besure to like and subscribe for
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(00:48):
Thanks again for listening, andI'll catch you in the next
episode.
Welcome to Living Testimony.
(01:12):
I'm your host, Israel Caminero,and I hope that everyone that's
listening is blessed and doingwell.
With me today, I have my sisterin Christ.
Her name is JoBeth Polley.
She has a great testimony toshare.
Can you introduce yourself?
JoBeth Polley (01:32):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Um my name is JoBeth Polley.
I recently just got remarriedafter being widowed, which has
been a really exciting andwonderful experience for me.
My whole life growing up, Ialways wanted to help people.
It was always just the desireof my heart.
(01:53):
And I remember a very vividmoment of wanting to help people
and realizing that I'd gonethrough nothing to, you know, be
able to relate to people.
And fast forward several yearsnow, um I've been put in a
couple different situations thathave positioned me very well to
empathize and love and supportpeople who are grieving and
(02:17):
hurting, and um showing them whoGod can be in these really,
really deep, dark moments ofgrief.
And um, you know, there's athere's a lot to those two
stories, but kind of in anutshell, I went through
infertility and then my husbandand I adopted about two years
(02:39):
after beginning to struggle withinfertility.
And about five years after weadopted our children, my husband
was diagnosed with terminalbrain cancer and passed away a
year later.
And so today I just walk a walkthat I have been through with
other people and um share thatthere is light and there is
(02:59):
hope, and where is God and inthese moments of deep, deep
heartbreak.
Israel Caminero (03:05):
Amen.
Amen.
Thank you for sharing that foreverybody.
And we get to hear more of herstory as we go on.
But before she gets started, Iwant to pray over us and I want
to say, Heavenly Father, wethank you for this moment and
for the opportunity for Joe Bethto share the power of
testimony.
Lord, we lift up Joe Beth toyou right now.
(03:25):
We thank you for the strengthyou've poured into her life, for
the resilience that could onlycome from you, and for the
healing journey she's walkedwith you by her side.
Holy Spirit, guide her words asshe speaks.
Let every story, every emotion,and every insight minister to
someone listening today.
Use her voice as a vessel ofhope and of grief and loss for
(03:46):
those that need restoration,that are navigating their own
grief and loss.
Remind every listener that novalley is too deep, no loss too
heavy, and no wound too greatfor your healing hand.
Cover this conversation withpeace, authenticity, and grace.
May it glorify you and bringencouragement to all who hear
(04:07):
it.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
So you touched a little bitabout what you went through, Joe
Beth, but can you take us to aday back in the life of Joe Beth
as she was growing up beforeany of this was happening and
just lead right into your storyof what you went through for
(04:28):
everybody?
JoBeth Polley (04:29):
Yeah, so I grew up in a in a Christian household
and we were in in church everySunday.
We did not miss church.
That was, you know, very, veryhigh priority that we were there
on Sunday mornings, and youknow, I sat in church and I
prayed and I sang and you know,went through the the motions of
what I was supposed to do.
(04:50):
And when I was in middleschool, I got baptized and you
know, was like on the on thetrend, right?
To like living a life um thatwhat of what I thought was what
I was supposed to be doing.
And you know, these experiencesthat I've had have completely
changed my faith.
So I grew up with like maybeyou might say like God in front
(05:13):
of me, but not God in me.
And so definitely trying to hitthese behavior standards of how
Christians act and everything,but not really having a
relationship with God thatdidn't, it did not exist.
And so my childhood was great,that I was well taken care of,
and nothing tragic or bad everhappened, which is just
(05:37):
mind-blowing to me.
Because I have kids now and I'mlike, wow, they didn't even
make it to middle school beforea lot of really terrible things
happened in their lives, and umI have a lot of of gratitude and
thankfulness for that.
But um, like I mentionedearlier, I when I was 18, I was
driving and I was just like, Iwant to help people, I want to
do something.
It's like, but you've not doneanything, like you haven't been
(06:00):
through anything, nobody's gonnarelate to you, like you know,
like you you need to have gonethrough something for you can
help people.
And I was like, Yeah, okay, soI went into education because
I'm like, that's where I'm gonnabe able to help people, you
know, maybe just basic thingslike show love and compassion
and and provide.
And um that's so that's kind ofthe direction I went.
(06:23):
And then about two years aftermy husband and I got married, we
were ready to start a family,and we realized that we were not
gonna be able to have kids.
And so we uh tried to whiteknuckle our way into having kids
and we went through all kindsof infertility treatments all
over the United States.
Like if there was a doctor thatwould see us and had even a
(06:47):
tiny bit of hope that he couldhelp us, we were saving our
money and going, and we spent alot of money trying to get
pregnant, and it and it neverhappened, and it was just one
failure after another, and itwas a really isolating, lonely
time because when you're in yourearly 20s and or in your 20s,
(07:07):
like everybody's gettingpregnant having babies.
So you have lots of friendsthat are having babies.
My sister, um, she found outthat she was pregnant, I think
the day after we found out wewould not be able to have kids,
and that was incredibly I can'teven explain, like uh, it was
such a strange feeling of somuch excitement because I was
(07:30):
gonna get to be an aunt.
I was really excited, I knewI'd be really close to this kid,
and then deep sadness, like Ihad never known before, because
I was gonna watch my sister dosomething that I wanted so bad,
and knowing that and I was stillkind of hopeful that a doctor
would be able to help us, butthey pretty much said we
wouldn't be able to have kids,so we kind of knew, but we're
(07:52):
still clinging to some hope.
Um, along the way, lots offriends got pregnant and um and
nobody knew.
Uh nobody knew that we couldn'thave kids, except my sister did
know, she was the only one thatknew, and it kind of just got
to experience what it's like tobe grieving something that is
just life-shattering and nobodyknowing, nobody being there to
(08:13):
support you, and then there'sthe layer that um nobody knows
how to support you.
So it's just reallycomplicated.
So fast forward, we didinfertility stuff for two years,
just one failure after theother, and um kind of got kind
of got over trying.
Like it was it was time to bedone, and it's just really
contemplating what if I wantedGod put this desire to be a mom
(08:37):
in my heart and took away myability to have children.
And I was like, this isn't thisis hard, this doesn't make
sense.
Like I don't really know whatto do with this.
It was so painful.
Um, and so I went to a silentretreat, um, just me wasn't like
a lot of people, and there wasone lady there that like kind of
ministered to people and me,that was it.
(08:57):
And uh, because I was trying tofind clarity on this situation
because it just, like I said,didn't make sense that God had
put the desire to be a mom in myheart, but didn't give me the
ability.
I was in silence for an entireday, just with my Bible in
prayer, sleeping, like just kindof bouncing back between the
three, and and you know, justtalking to God and crying out to
(09:18):
him.
I was sitting there studying,and he spoke to me and he was
like, There's a little girl thatneeds a mom more than you need
to have your own child.
And it was just crystal clearto me, and I was just like,
Okay, it's like kind of like Ijust like dusted my hands and
stood up and was like, okay,that's what we're doing.
So from there we moved intoadopting from foster care.
(09:39):
And about six months later,six, seven months later, um, we
met our kids.
And if you know anything aboutthe foster care system or kids
who are available for adoptionin the United States, there's
thousands of kids in the UnitedStates that need homes.
And so I knew we were gonnahave options with who we got,
(10:03):
you know, like if what kids wewanted, basically.
Israel Caminero (10:06):
Right.
JoBeth Polley (10:06):
And so I just prayed, like, you know, what um
I need you to tell me when I seemy kids.
I need to know so that we makethe right decision, you know,
because it was in our hands.
About a month later, my son, wewere gonna babysit him, he was
in foster care, we were gonnababysit him and his sister.
(10:27):
And my son walked through thedoor and just clear as day, I
heard that's your son, which wasreally cool.
I was like, Oh gosh, yeah, likethat's him.
But he was not available to beadopted.
He was not he, we were justbabysitting him because he was
in foster care, and we werehelping his his family, his
foster family out with him.
And so I was like, Okay, that'scool.
He's my son, and he's not Ican't adopt him, so what's going
(10:51):
on there?
And so we were we wereconsistent and consistently in
his life, and about a year laterwe were able to adopt him and
his sister, and they we're allstill together today.
They're still with us andhaven't spent, you know, been
there forever home for sure.
So that was really, reallyamazing how you know God
answered a lot of prayers withone one situation, and
(11:14):
infertility is definitely nothealed by adoption, but I think
infertility does put us in asituation where we get to do
some of God's work and we get toshow up for people, put the
desires of our heart aside toshow up for somebody who really
needs us.
That's what happened in thatsituation.
And then we were together forabout five years, the four of
(11:38):
us, and things felt verycomplete.
We we bought a farm.
It was our dream to have afarm.
My husband's dream mostly, likehe loved farming and cattle and
stuff, and so we we bought afarm about the same time we got
the kids, and we startedbuilding our house, and like his
business was going great, and Ihad a good career, and the
(12:00):
kids, we were homeschooling thekids, and things were really
good for about five years, andthen my husband started having
really bad headaches, and theykept getting worse and worse,
and then they got so bad he waslike sick to his stomach because
he was in so much pain.
I took him to urgent care.
We went to urgent care, theyimmediately took him back for a
(12:22):
CT, came back with the resultsquickly and said he has a math
on his brain, and you need to goto the emergency room right
now.
We went across the street, andwithin an hour, they had done an
MRI and had diagnosed him withterminal brain cancer.
They gave us a pamphlet andthat said that he had probably
12 to 16 months to live.
(12:44):
You could do um radiation andchemo and surgery to extend his
life, but he would not surviveit.
And they sent us home.
We went home with um just aheart full of shattered dreams,
a shattered future of I mean, wejust he had just built our
(13:07):
home, and like I said,everything was so good, and we
had vacations and good family,like family was so good on both
sides, like life was so good.
And then just in an instance,it was black, dark, there was no
(13:30):
nothing.
There was no there was nofuture because I didn't know if
he I mean when you have braincancer, you could die at any
minute, right?
Like, because it's so it's it'syour brain.
Um our quality of life wasover.
Like it was it was we were justgonna be on a downhill spiral.
(13:52):
And I am a very optimisticperson.
So I'm I'm shocked, I'm grossedout by this diagnosis.
I am I am in deep, deep, deepgrief.
But in the deepest of my grief,I was like, I serve a big God
who can do big things.
Israel Caminero (14:11):
Amen.
JoBeth Polley (14:12):
And he's gonna save my husband.
I believe that.
I believed with everything Ihad in me that he was going to
be okay, even though I could notfind somebody who survived um
glioblastoma, which is what hehad, I felt like he was gonna be
the one because my faith was sostrong, and I was getting
(14:36):
videos and messages from peopleuh all around the world, like in
other countries, people prayingfor him, and people in other
languages praying for him, and Iknew I was praying and fasting,
and so were people in ourchurch, and I was like, God's
gonna hear us, and he's gonna beokay, and this is gonna be his
(14:57):
testimony.
Israel Caminero (14:58):
Amen.
JoBeth Polley (14:59):
And I'm gonna backtrack just a little.
He had been in church his umever since we've been together,
so 13 years, he started goingwhen we got together, and I
could always tell that like youknow, during invitation or
certain certain sermons andstuff, like I feel he's really
uncomfortable, but he neverwould like give his life.
(15:20):
That was never he never woulddo that, and it was always
really upsetting to me becauselike I wanted that for him after
his diagnosis.
He decided to to do that.
He was like, Okay, like I thisis important and I want to do
this now, and he wanted to besaved, and so um we we met with
our preacher and he was savedand he was baptized, and I a
(15:43):
preacher a while later was like,Thank God for stage four
cancer, and I was like, Oh,brother, I can't get there right
now, like to be thankful forthis.
But um the the cancer gave myhusband the opportunity to spend
eternity with Christ, that hehe had just been postponing.
(16:05):
A good friend of mine, she waslike, I'm just curious, she's
like, How have you prayed foryour husband?
And like in your marriage, andI was like, Oh my gosh.
I was like, My prayer hasalways been that he would give
his life to God before it wastoo late.
It was never that he was gonnalead us spiritually or that he
was going to do these bigthings, it was just that he
(16:28):
would do it before it was toolate, and he did.
And I was like, Oh my gosh,this thing that I have prayed
for has happened.
Israel Caminero (16:37):
That's right.
JoBeth Polley (16:38):
I told my mom we were sitting at the counter a
few days or a few months afterhis diagnosis and things were
going downhill, and we weretalking about it, and I said, If
God was at this table with us,and he said, Okay, Jobet, you
can have your husband the restof your life.
He's gonna be here, you cangrow old together, raise your
(17:01):
kids, do the things that youhave to do, but he won't go to
heaven.
Or I can take him now and he'llcome be with me forever.
Which would you choose?
And I told my mom, I wouldchoose a thousand times for him
to go now so he could inheritthe kingdom, and and she was
like, I don't know that I couldsay that.
(17:22):
And I was like, I don't knowhow you couldn't say that.
I'm gonna miss him, it's gonnabe hard, and it has proven to be
very hard.
But I I am happy for him, youknow, um that he he got he got
something that he didn't evenknow that he fully desired, you
know?
Like he he made a big decisionwhen it really mattered, and I'm
(17:46):
so happy for him for that.
But back to kind of the end, Iwas in so much communication
with God.
It was my prayer the whole timewas that like you know, God,
like you can take him or you canheal him here.
No matter what, I'm not goinganywhere, I'm not leaving you
(18:10):
because the only thing I couldimagine that was gonna be worse
than losing my husband was gonnabe losing my husband and losing
my relationship with God.
Israel Caminero (18:18):
Oh wow, that's that's good.
JoBeth Polley (18:20):
And I I wasn't willing to do it, and I had seen
so many people just get sobitter after loss and be so
ugly, and I was like, Well, Iknow I don't want to do that.
Like, that's for sure not thepath I'm gonna choose to go
down.
And you know, sometimes meshowing up sounded like just
crying out, like, please give methat peace that surpasses all
(18:41):
understanding that I've read of.
Like, now would be the time forthat.
Like, please give me that,like, you know, begging, and
sometimes it was just tears, andthen after he passed for
several months, it was justsilence.
I didn't have anything to say.
Like, I don't know what to say.
I begged you for something, andyou said no.
And so I'm just letting youknow that I'm here and I'm not
(19:03):
going anywhere, and I havenothing to say.
In my heart, I knew, orlogically, maybe not my heart,
in my mind, I knew I had a lotto be thankful for.
Um, and I could go through thatand go, Thank you for my kids,
they're helping, thank you forthis house.
I'm so thankful.
Thank you that we made adecision to get life insurance
so that I don't have to selleverything and move into an
apartment.
Like, you know, with the kids,and you know, like I'm going
(19:27):
through this stuff in my headlogically, like I I have a lot
to be thankful for.
But all I could say was I'mhere.
Israel Caminero (19:33):
That's right.
JoBeth Polley (19:34):
Like that's it.
Israel Caminero (19:35):
And you know, I'm I'm so thankful myself that
of what you just said, as far asyou're not going anywhere.
A lot of people lose theirfaith when they battle through
things like this.
And how can you battlesomething like this without
having God by your side?
I feel like the battle wouldget that much harder without
(19:58):
having him there to Help youthrough it.
And you did exactly that.
JoBeth Polley (20:04):
Yeah.
So I mean, I see I work, that'smy work that I do now is I work
with women who are goingthrough deep grief.
And I will tell you, it looksvery different when I work with
women who are strong in theirfaith than those who have
abandoned God.
And um, just to be clear, we wechoose to abandon God.
He doesn't abandon us.
Israel Caminero (20:25):
Right.
JoBeth Polley (20:25):
And even though like I know that it can feel
like he's not there sometimes,he is, and you're the one who
has the option to keep showingup or to walk away.
But I I like preach heavy, likeif you are in a deep, dark time
of your life, grief or not,like just a dark period, and you
(20:50):
are turning away from God,you're shutting God out, you are
missing out on the mostbeautiful opportunity for
intimacy with God.
There is nothing that is goingto bring you closer than
something really, really hard.
And grief is isolating, and andyou know this.
(21:12):
Like it's at the end of theday, like you, okay, something
somebody dies, or you lose yourjob, or you get this diagnosis,
or something that just terriblehappens, your home burns down,
and it's like, okay, you'resitting here and you're like,
okay, like I'm getting thesecards in the mail.
People are, you know, wishingus the best, they're praying for
us, like they sent $50 orwhatever to help with stuff, and
(21:36):
then you're like, all thesepeople are bringing over
casseroles, and that's reallynice, and I'm glad we have that
food, and really thankful forthat.
And then you go in your roomand you shut the door, and it's
you and your grief.
There is nobody that is goingto come into that moment with
you and make it better.
(21:57):
And hugs are nice, talking topeople is nice, but at the end
of the day, you're laying downwith your grief, and you are the
only one that can do anythingabout it.
And who else do you have inthat moment?
God.
Israel Caminero (22:13):
Amen.
JoBeth Polley (22:14):
Like there is nobody else.
And so, man, when you whenyou're grieving and you turn
from him, you're turning awayfrom the from your lifeline.
Israel Caminero (22:23):
It makes it harder.
JoBeth Polley (22:26):
I yeah, like you said, I don't know how I mean I
think people I don't know, theyfind ways to make themselves
feel better, but like yeah, itjust makes it.
Israel Caminero (22:40):
I don't think deep down inside they're happy
though.
I mean, no one's gonna be happywith a diagnosis like that
anyways, but like you said, thepeace that God gives you while
you're going through it is thebest feeling ever.
JoBeth Polley (22:58):
Yeah, yeah, like I've I have had moments, you
know, I begged God for thatpeace.
Please, I need respite.
I need something, I need a realI need something to like
relieve this pain for a minute.
And I've begged God for that,and then you know, a little
while later, you know, day ortwo, we clear, I'm like, oh my
gosh, I feel okay.
What's wrong with me?
(23:18):
Why do I feel at peace?
Why do I feel okay?
And then like, oh, this is whatI prayed for, just enjoy it.
It may not last super long.
So like try to enjoy it, but weyou do have the opportunity to
meet with the the Prince ofPeace and just just to sit with
(23:39):
him.
And the Bible tells us over andover again that that that we
are blessed when we grieve, andthat when we're hurting, like
that is when like God shows upthe best.
That's where we can see him,the clearness.
That's like one of the things Ilove about um the book of Job.
(23:59):
Gosh, I hope I get this right.
Somewhere in there, he says, Upuntil now my ears have heard
you, but now my eyes see you.
And that is what grief can dofor us.
What a blessing.
Israel Caminero (24:13):
That's right.
JoBeth Polley (24:14):
What a blessing that we get to experience that.
I'm never gonna be thankful myhusband died.
I'm not gonna be thankful forthat.
But I can there is so manyblessings that I have witnessed
since his passing.
I got a phone call fromsomebody and they're like, gosh,
I get emotional every time Ithink about this.
It was one of my husband'sfriends, and he said, Um, that's
(24:37):
a few months after my husbandhad died, and he said, Um, I
just wanted to call and tell youthat I go to I go to church
now.
And he's like, I've stoppeddrinking.
And he said, um, he's like, Iit was when he was when my
husband was sick, he'd reachedout to somebody and he was like,
Hey, like, to this person.
(24:57):
He was like, I he's like, yourprayers aren't working, he's not
getting better.
And the friend said, Why don'tyou go to church and pray for
him yourself?
Israel Caminero (25:04):
Wow.
JoBeth Polley (25:05):
And he did.
And and it's just beautifulbecause um my husband died and
this person's still in church,and he wanted to call and tell
me that Travis was the reasonthat he goes to church and that
he he has stopped drinking andhe's moved towards more life
aligned with Christ.
I can be so thankful for that.
(25:27):
A soul potentially is savedbecause of my husband and his
tragedy.
But my point is that it doesn'tmatter how bad the situation
is.
Like when we read about God turuh take, you know, making
beauty from ashes, like this isreal.
(25:48):
This is it's a real thing, it'snot just a scripture or
something that sounds pretty oris catchy in a song lyric.
Like he does that, and asChristians, we need to choose to
believe that what he says isreal and it's true, and it
applies to us because if wedon't, we miss out on so much of
the beauty of of who he is inour life and just what this life
(26:13):
is about in general.
Israel Caminero (26:15):
Amen.
That's so true.
You know, it's it's not easygoing through what you went
through getting a diagnosis, youknow, especially after you said
you bought the farm, um, youjust adopted kids.
You know, I mean kids wereinvolved, and you know, their
their fathers got diagnosed withsomething that's terminal.
(26:38):
Um how did you manage once yourhusband made it to glory?
How did you manage the farm andyou know, raising the kids all
on your own and everything likethat?
JoBeth Polley (26:50):
So my parents were instrumental in the
transition of things, and my uhmy husband had brain cancer, so
and it was in the front rightpart of his brain which controls
personality.
And so the last like six monthsof his life, he um it was kind
of like he had dementia.
Okay, and so his he completelychanged, he was not the same
(27:11):
person anymore.
He could mask and like benormal for a little bit because
I asked the hospice people, I'mlike, what's happening?
Or his doctors.
I'm like, he's normal aroundthese people, and then comes
home and acts like he doesn'teven know he's home.
And they they can mask or theycan act okay out in public, but
then they can't when they gethome.
It's a thing, it's reallyconfusing for caretakers.
(27:32):
So my parents moved in with usand really helped us transition,
and so he he kind of left usvery slowly, and so it allowed
me to kind of get my feet underme.
There was like so many peoplethat helped my uh best friend.
She moved in kind of with mewhen she was not working, she
was at my house and she helpedme with the kids a lot, and my
(27:54):
parents helped a lot.
So, I mean, I had a lot ofsupport, but honestly, like
there was just this moment ofrealizing that like this is all
you like it's nice that yourparents help and that your
friend helps, but like this istemporary, you've got to figure
out how to do this on your own.
And so I was like figuring itout and like trying to get my
(28:14):
feet under me and trying tounderstand, and very quickly, so
seven months after my husbandpassed away, I met the guy that
I'm married to now, and itseemed too soon by a lot of
people's standards.
Um, but it was it felt like itjust like I literally saw him
(28:37):
and felt like I will be withthat person the rest of my life.
And I never had a conversationwith him in person.
I talked to him on the phonetwice because it was
work-related and it was very itwas all about work, and then I
saw him and it was like, oh mygosh, I'm gonna marry this guy.
And in fact, I was supposed tomeet him, and I turned around
and got back in my vehicle andpostponed our meeting because it
(29:00):
was just so overwhelming.
So I tell you that to say I wasonly alone, like with the farm
and my kids for seven months,really.
Um probably closer to a yearbefore I let him start like
coming around and helping andstuff.
But I had to learn how to do abunch of stuff I had no idea how
to do was the most frustratingpart.
(29:20):
And saying things like I don'tknow a hundred times a day
because people would be askingme questions like where are the
keys to this?
Where's the title to this?
Where, you know, how many cowsdo you have?
Like, what about did you makethis police payment?
I was like, I don't know.
I don't, I don't know anything.
And so I learned how to do alot of things.
Like, I learned how to drive atractor, and I grew up on a farm
(29:43):
and we had farms, but nobodyever let me on the tractor.
So I didn't know how to run it.
And so I had to learn how torun the tractor and feed the
cows, and it was so empoweringto do that.
I will say though, that likewhen it was really jerky and
really rough on the tractor, andso like I was like, gosh, the
cows are probably looking at methinking, like, who is this
(30:04):
lady?
And is this really the personthat's responsible for taking
care of us now?
And I'm like, oh, like when youstart feeling judged by
animals, that's when it's bad.
It's really bad at that point.
But I I started to figure itout, and it's really hard.
Like, I'm not gonna like I feeleven now that I'm remarried,
(30:24):
like I'm still my kid's onlyparent, you know, like they lost
their dad.
And so, you know, it's hewasn't replaceable.
So navigating that with them ishard.
Like having a farm is hard.
We had a construction companywhen he passed, and figuring out
that business was hard.
(30:44):
Like the it's just hard, butit's also, you know, like I I
was so intentional about myjourney.
I would get up in the morningand I would take an ice bath.
And the reason I would do thatwas to remind myself who I was,
and it was like a pump up thing.
I was like, get in that ice,and like you like you need you
(31:06):
need to remember who you are andhow tough you are and how
strong you are.
And I did that by taking an icebath.
And I was like, I'd get out andI'd be like, Ain't nobody else
doing this.
There's nobody else.
It's just like in mysituations, getting up and
putting themselves in pain andsuffering first thing in the
morning, like you know, and itlike gave me this edge, and I I
was articulate.
(31:27):
I I ran my recovery and myfamily and everything around me,
like it was a business, becauseme getting better and healing
and making sure my kids wereokay was not something that I
was just gonna let happenorganically.
We were gonna have a plan andwe were gonna execute it, and
that's what we did.
(31:48):
Are we like some like you know,poster family?
No, we're not, but like we'resurvivors and we're recovering
every day, and a lot of that isjust because of that mindset,
like I'll figure it out.
Everything's figure outable,everything.
Israel Caminero (32:06):
That's right.
So, question you you said yougrew up in a Christian home and
and you went to church andeverything like that, and even
during your husband's diagnosis,you know, you were still deep
in your faith.
How did your faith evolve ordeepen during the darkest part
of your of this journey?
JoBeth Polley (32:29):
Yeah, so oh, this is such a a big question.
So it was probably a little bitbefore my husband got sick that
I started realizing that theexperiences I was having with
God and the way I seen God andyou know, seen him and
(32:49):
experienced him was verydifferent than what people in my
church were having.
Like I would go to I would goto church on Sunday and I'm
like, okay, I'm hearing this,but I'm experiencing this and
reading this, and like for me,this doesn't like really line
up.
Like I don't I don't know likewhat's happening, but I don't
(33:09):
feel like like the things I'mexperiencing you guys are
preaching don't really happenand they're not real, and which
is hard because um my dadpreaches at this church and my
family all goes to that church,but like I felt like it wasn't
the right place for me, and so Ijust like I said, I I felt like
(33:29):
I went to church, I was like Iwas doing what I was supposed to
be doing, go to church, thatwas really important, um, show
up in your community in acertain way, that was really
important, but like as far aslike having this like um this
desire, um, this craving forknowledge and intimacy, like
(33:55):
that was kind of increasing.
And then when my husband gotsick, it was like that was all
there was.
It was like nothing, nothing ofthis world brought me any
pleasure or contentment orpeace, and so it was like I had
to go all in on that, and then Imean, let's talk about this.
(34:17):
I prayed and believed fully,and God took my husband to
heaven, right?
So it's like I had this verystrong faith, and then was told
no, essentially, like, no, thisis not what's gonna happen.
And so, like I said, I wassilent for a while because I
just didn't know what to say,and then there was things that
(34:39):
started coming up in the churchand in my family, and I was
like, what does the Bible say?
I just got real curious.
I got real curious, and like ifthere's one thing you can do
that just feels really good isgetting curious and finding
answers in the Bible, becauselike that's the end, right?
Like, if you can find answersin the Bible, you don't need
somebody else's opinion aboutit, and it just kind of closes
(35:01):
the door on things, you know?
Right.
And so I just got I was justbecame so curious, and I was in
Bible studies in my community,and I was in Bible study all the
time, like I was justconstantly in study and really
getting to rediscover, like itmade me so hungry and so curious
that like I got to read anddiscover God for myself instead
(35:24):
of at the feet of a preacher,and that was really huge, it was
really huge for me because Ididn't want people's opinions.
I was out on a job with the guyI'm married to now, my husband,
and this guy, the propertyowner, he started talking about
God, and I was like, Oh, let'stalk about God, you know.
I was talking to him, and hewas like, I was telling him, you
know, that I was transitioningout of this church that I'd been
(35:45):
in my whole life, and and hewas like, Well, why don't you
come to Bible study and I'lltell you blah blah blah about
how things are supposed to be orwhatever, and I was so turned
off by it because I was like, Idon't want another, and I mean
this probably sounds rude, but Iwas like, I don't want another
old man telling me what I'msupposed to believe about what
(36:07):
the Bible says, and so I, youknow, I was like, thank you, no,
thank you, and we didn't go,but it just made me like I was
like, I want to know for me, Idon't want to know somebody's
twist or interpretation or anyof that.
I want to know what the Biblesays for me, and I am just in
(36:28):
such a wonderful place in myspirituality now that um and
through the through the illnessand the passing of my husband
and discovering Christ, like I'mseeing my desire for material
things pass away.
That's been really such a gift,um, and it's very different
than how I grew up.
(36:49):
I grew up like, and part ofit's personality and part of
it's my raising, is that youalways need to be striving for
that next level, whatever it is.
I was an athlete, so it's like,okay, your best, your highest
game's 25, and you get 26 now.
You got 26 and you get 27, likeyou got 30, you gotta get 40.
Like it was just like climbing,climbing, climbing, and then
(37:10):
it's like, you know, financiallyyou should build success, build
wealth, build wealth, buildthis, consume more, like, like
buy more, build more.
Like it's like, and it's like Ijust recently I'm just like,
oh, yeah, that doesn't matter.
Israel Caminero (37:25):
Right.
JoBeth Polley (37:27):
And it's so liberating.
Israel Caminero (37:29):
You can't take it with you.
That's what I always say, youknow.
JoBeth Polley (37:33):
No, I mean, do I want to go on vacations and have
like a good life where we cango out and eat with our families
and vacation and and do thethings we want to do?
Yes, but does that need to bein my top three focus every day?
No.
Israel Caminero (37:48):
Right.
Memories and legacy is whatreally matters.
And yeah.
And speaking of You said yougot remarried.
Now, how do you keep yourhusband's legacy alive while
stepping boldly into your newlife that you have of your own?
JoBeth Polley (38:09):
Oh, that's a great question.
And I think the biggest thingis character, because he was so
generous and he loved people,and it was like, and we were in
this situation a lot, and whenwe were married, like somebody
would need like a couple hundreddollars, and he would write the
(38:30):
check for it, like knowing thatwe didn't have it in the
account, and then basically we'dgo figure out how to make $200
before that check hit the bank.
That's the kind of person hewas, and I have this
conversation a lot with my sonbecause my son loves my
husband's things, he loves hisclothes, his hats, his boots,
(38:50):
like whatever was my husband's.
Like, my son's very possessiveover it.
And I'm like, this stuff's finethat you're you want that, but
the way you can honor your dadis how you live your life every
single day.
And reminding my kids thattheir father was generous, he
(39:13):
gave it didn't matter, it wasn'tthat he just gave money, he
would give of his time.
He could be right in the middleof something and he would quit
and go help somebody, and thatis how we continue his legacy.
He had a construction company,but that wasn't his legacy.
That's not like that's not atthe core who he was.
At the core, he was loving andgenerous and would do anything
(39:36):
for others.
And that is how I want my kidsto live their life and how they
will honor him and keep his, youknow, keep his legacy moving
forward.
And hopefully when they havekids someday, they're gonna tell
them about their grandpa andhow how he was generous.
So if we see somebody besidethe road with a flat tire, we
(39:57):
stop because that's what hewould do.
Israel Caminero (40:00):
Amen.
That's good.
That's good.
Now you became a grief recoveryspecialist, you said, correct?
Mm-hmm.
Obviously we know what led youto want to help others, right?
I'm guessing it's because ofwhat happened to you.
So what does the healing looklike for you today as far as
pouring into all these otherfemales or even males?
(40:22):
I'm not sure if you coach maleswith the grief recovery.
Yeah.
Can you share a little bitabout your grief recovery with
my audience?
JoBeth Polley (40:33):
Yeah, so I primarily work with with women
just because it just is a betterfit for me.
I do know men who do this work.
So if there are guys listeningand they're like, I need help,
like I I can hook you up.
Like you still reach out.
I can I can make connectionsfor you and get you the help
that you need.
So my husband passed the very,very beginning of 23.
(40:56):
We're in 25.
Obviously, it's still veryfresh, a very fresh loss.
But and people do ask me a lot,like, how do you do this work
when you have the loss yourself?
And the answer is that I knowthat there is a chapter after
(41:16):
this one that's so dark.
And I know what it's like to bein that situation where there's
just darkness, there is nolight, there is no hope, there's
just this, there's there's justnothingness.
And when I'm on the other sideof the table or on the other
side of the computer, I knoweven though they're in that dark
(41:36):
place, I know that I'm gonna bepart of helping them get to the
other side.
And I don't dwell on the factthat they're suffering right
now.
I dwell on the fact that I'mliterally taking their hand and
walking them to a place wherethey can see light, where they
can be okay again.
And for some reason, it doesnot affect me.
Like I can do a session andwalk out and I can be okay.
(42:00):
Um, and I think it's just thatbecause I'm I'm in the next
chapter of being like, okay,like there is I can see good in
life again.
Like I can look outside andappreciate that the sun is
shining or that there's trees orsomething.
Cause for a long time I didn't.
I was like, who cares?
Might as well be dark for all Icare, you know, like there is
no beauty in the world.
And so it's really just gettingpeople to that other side.
(42:21):
And as you know, like sometimeswhen people are in deep dark
grief, like God is not a part oftheir life by their choice, but
He's not there, and it is veryseldom that when people come to
me, they'll tell me that they'reangry at God, or they're the
(42:42):
big problem is that they feellike God has abandoned them.
Like they never say that it'swell, this person died, or this
person abandoned me, or this orthat.
And I'm like, okay, then we geta few, three, four weeks into
the work, and they're like, It'sGod.
I feel like God's left me.
And I get to walk peoplethrough healing their
(43:04):
relationship with God.
And like we talked aboutearlier before we hit record, if
I can do that for one person,then it's all of it's worth it.
So it's it's not a problem forme because I know there's
there's light on the other side.
Israel Caminero (43:20):
Amen.
That's that's powerful.
And I'll have links to all thatin the description of the
podcast.
If anybody that's listeningwants to reach out to her and
just speak about something youmight be going through similar.
So Joe Beth, I appreciate youtaking the time to be here and
sharing your testimony.
(43:41):
I know you're a busy person,especially with all the things
that you do and running tractorsand having cows judge you and
everything like that.
I'm kidding, I'm totallykidding.
I have a question.
Was there a a life verse or aBible verse that stuck with you
throughout life, or not eventhroughout life?
(44:02):
Maybe when you started thisjourney with your husband that
you could always go back to andread and it speak to you when
you're having a bad day?
And what is that life verse andwhat it means to you?
JoBeth Polley (44:17):
So when I was like in it, like in it, in it, I
read Romans eight, like it wasum almost like a meditation.
I'd read it again and again andagain, and I'd listen to it and
go over it.
I'm not gonna do that rightnow.
But if you are in a place ofhurting, there's a lot of
(44:37):
comfort found in Romans 8.
But the one that I I reallythink is maybe foundational for
people to cling to is um Romans5, starting with verse 3.
And it says that not only that,but we also glory in
tribulations, which is likemind-blowing, right?
If you're in it, you're like,how am I supposed to glory in
(45:01):
this?
But you do knowing thattribulation produces
perseverance and perseverancecharacter and character hope.
Now, hope does not disappointbecause the love of God has been
poured out in our hearts by theHoly Spirit who is given to us,
and that is always a comfort tome, even though I can't always
(45:28):
understand it, how we can gloryin our tribulations biblically.
We know that it's something weshould do and we know it's
available, but actually doing itis um much harder.
So we need that confirmationfrom the word to you know be
like, okay, he said it, so I canbelieve it.
Israel Caminero (45:48):
Amen.
Amen.
That's a good verse, by theway.
Now we're going to my back tothe past podcast.
And what my back to the pastsection of the podcast is.
If you could tell you fromyears ago something that you
(46:08):
know now that you didn't, whatwould it be?
Like if you can go back in timeand tell a younger version or
even before you started thisjourney with your husband or
anything like that, somethingthat you learned now that you
didn't know then, what wouldthat be?
JoBeth Polley (46:27):
Oh, it would be that I'm thinking like I'm
looking at at six-year-old JoeBat.
I would say you're enough andyou're good enough.
And all these things that youthink you need to achieve and
(46:48):
accomplish and do don't matter.
You're enough, you're worthy oflove, and you're worthy of
God's love despite anything thatyou do in your life.
I think it would have made ahuge difference for a lot of my
years if I would have known Iwas good enough from a young
age.
Israel Caminero (47:09):
Amen.
Well, you are enough.
And God knows that.
But I just want to say againthank you for being here and
sharing that powerful testimony.
It's not easy going throughgrief and you you went through
(47:29):
it and look what you're doingnow.
You're especially, you know,you try to talk to others and
guide them through grief, whichis not easy, like you said,
because it's fairly new with youtoo.
But but you're doing it andyou're doing it because God
wants you to do it, and you'reobeying and doing that.
(47:51):
But before we close, is thereanything else you might want to
share before we close?
JoBeth Polley (47:59):
No, I think that's it.
Maybe, yeah, actually, so Ioffer like these like 30-minute
conversations with people.
Um, they're free, but I thinkthat a lot of times people are
stuck in confusion.
And we know, like, um, youknow, you can even say like
God's not the author ofconfusion, and I believe that
(48:23):
everybody really knows what theyneed to do, and that a confused
mind does nothing, you know,there's a bunch of negative
around being confused.
And if you're in a place whereyou are grieving and you're
like, I just don't know what todo, like I want to be better,
but I don't know how.
I offer these free 30-minuteconversations, and people can
schedule those, and you you'llyou'll have links to that, but
(48:46):
I'm not for everybody, and Iknow that.
And I also know that noteverybody needs a grief
specialist, some people needtherapy, some people need to go
to rehab, some people just needa friend, and within 30 minutes
or less, way less, probably, Ican give you a pretty good idea
(49:07):
of what your next step should beand help you clear up some of
the confusion.
And so, you know, I want tooffer that to the people
listening that you know, giveyourself 30 minutes, it's one
small step in the rightdirection towards healing, and
you shouldn't really takeadvantage of it.
Israel Caminero (49:23):
That's right.
That's right.
And like like we both said,I'll have links to all that in
the description of the podcast.
You never know, you might havesomeone reach out and say, Hey,
I heard you here.
JoBeth Polley (49:34):
Yeah, that'd be great.
Israel Caminero (49:35):
That would be great.
And before we close, do youthink you could pray over us?
JoBeth Polley (49:41):
Yeah, for sure.
I'd love team.
Dear Lord, my father in heaven,I'm so thankful for
opportunities like this where wewe're just so it's so crazy,
and it's we're just so blessedto be able to have conversations
that spread your your word andyour hope and your life so
(50:05):
easily.
Like in thinking back to whenyou were here and how hard it
was to share a message and nowlook at us.
Now we can so easily sharemessages and give messages of
hope to people who may know youand some who may not.
And I just want to thank youfor that.
And I want to pray for peoplewho are in deep grief and they
(50:27):
they think you've left them.
Lord, I pray that you will showup and I pray that they will
receive you, and and I don'tknow what that looks like, or
maybe it's a friend that thatcomes and and shows them who you
really are and that you haven'tleft them.
But I just pray for thosepeople that are hurting and that
(50:48):
they will see you and see lightand realize that there is more
to this life after loss, andthat that you're gonna be there
with them the whole way.
And um, I pray for people likeus that are uh that are speaking
and um getting in the ears ofpeople who are hurting, that we
just we say the right thingsbecause it's um it's a huge
(51:10):
responsibility, and we just wantto honor you in everything we
do, and just pray that you'llyou'll be with each of us and
that everything we do today,every step we take, will honor
you, and that our love for youwill light up the world.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Israel Caminero (51:26):
Amen.
Amen.
Thank you for that prayer, andthank you again for taking the
time to be on the podcast andshare your story.
And like I said, like I alwayssay, it's her story, but it's
his glory.
And you know, I don't know whatelse to say, but God was with
(51:47):
you, and God will continue to bewith you.
And you know, I'm happy foryour new life and your kids, and
you're still going throughgrief, grief comes out of
nowhere, but you're doing thegreat thing.
You're doing the right thing.
I just want to give a shout-outto all the listeners, love it
(52:11):
to me.
I just want to thank you fortuning in.
(52:32):
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