Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

You’re told to “hold them accountable” but what if that’s not moving them toward change? Heather shares the science behind why constant confrontation often creates more shame, hiding, and resistance. She offers a clear two-step framework to help you shift perspective and use a balanced approach that’s proven to increase motivation. This isn’t about ignoring reality, it’s about using strategies that actually work, and it can comple...

In this heartfelt conversation, Heather sits down with Pam Lanhart from Thrive Family Recovery Resources to explore how to keep living with purpose, joy, and connection when life throws everything at you—family challenges, health scares, and the unpredictable ups and downs of a child struggling with substance use.

Together, Heather and Pam discuss:

•How to reclaim moments of joy without feeling like you’re betraying your child who is...

When your child is struggling with substance use, it can feel like every interaction is high-stakes. You want to help, but even well-meaning conversations can backfire. That’s why today’s episode is all about a simple but powerful tool: The Connection Bank Account.

You’ll learn:

• What the Connection Bank Account is and how it works

• Why connection is your most effective parenting tool

• Real-life examples of deposits and withdrawals

•...

In this heart-opening conversation, Heather is joined by Debby Kerr-Henry who is the sponsor of The Unlimited Gavel Club, a Toastmasters group where approximately 60 incarcerated men learn to write, speak, debate, and reclaim their sense of purpose. In this episode,Debby shares why she believes their stories - especially about substance use and recovery - belong in the conversation far beyond prison walls.

Together, Heather and Debb...

If you’ve ever decided not to give your child money and still felt like your heart was being ripped out so you said yes anyway… this episode is for you.

In this episode, I’m unpacking what really happens when we stop giving from a place of survival, and why that decision can feel so excruciating, even when we know it’s right.

Learn:

• Why saying no can feel like you're severing the last thread of connection

• What your child might ...

If you’ve ever felt stuck between loving your child and losing yourself, this episode will help you see that taking your life back doesn’t mean letting go. It means leading the way with compassion, clarity, and strength.

Heather shares how years of fear, guilt, and hopelessness kept her stuck — and the exact moment she found a path forward. She introduces the two-part approach that helped her feel hopeful again: healing herself firs...

Guilt is one of the most common emotions parents face when their child is struggling with addiction, but is it always telling the truth?

In this episode, I’m sharing some personal reflections and hard-won realizations about guilt: how it became my default emotion, how it blocked me from feeling what was actually true, and what happened when I finally stepped out of guilt and into my true emotions that guilt was covering up.

You'l...

Today we’re tackling one of the most painful questions parents face when their child is struggling with substance use - "Should I kick them out?"

You’ll hear why this question is far more complicated than it’s often made out to be and why it deserves careful thought, not quick advice based on outdated, stigmatized ideas like "tough love" or "rock bottom."

In this episode, Heather shares:

• Why the words we use when making hard decis...

For years, I lived with my peace tied directly to my daughter Helanna’s addiction. When she struggled, I felt powerless, sick, exhausted, and consumed by fear. But everything began to shift when I realized that peace isn’t something that can be stolen—it’s something we either protect or give away.

Even in the most heartbreaking moments, I discovered that I still had agency over how I related to my emotions. That realization didn’t e...

There is a crucial difference between pity and compassion—and this distinction can deeply impact your relationship with your child. When we pity our kids, we see them as helpless victims, stripping them of their agency and reinforcing our own feelings of hopelessness.

But compassion is different—it sees their struggles without defining them by them, offering support in a way that preserves dignity and connection.

Heather shares perso...

In this episode, Heather interviews Jeremy French, the founder of Making Whole, an organization that fills a critical gap in the addiction recovery treatment system. While traditional recovery programs often focus on short-term stabilization, Making Whole provides the missing piece—long-term support through meaningful work, mentorship, and personal growth.

Jeremy shares his journey of asking a pivotal question: Why do some people th...

In this heartfelt episode, Heather shares her perspective on the damaging labels of codependent and enabler that are often placed on parents. She explains why these labels are not only unhelpful but also undermine a parent's natural instincts—instincts that are, in fact, a powerful tool for connection and support.

Heather emphasizes that parents don’t need warnings about what not to do. Instead, they need clear, actionable guidance ...

In the last episode, we explored why our kids can excel in unexpected areas—like chess, gas prices, or mental math—but struggle with everyday tasks like making a phone call or getting to an appointment on time. We looked at the brain science behind these inconsistencies and how substance use impacts different cognitive functions.

But now comes the next step: How do we work with these realities instead of fighting against them?

In t...

Have you ever felt completely baffled by your child’s behavior? Maybe they can play chess skillfully but can’t seem to get ready for an appointment on time. Maybe they have zero concept of time but can tell you the gas prices at every station in town. These inconsistencies can feel frustrating and even personal—like they don’t care or aren’t trying.

But what if there’s a scientific explanation?

In this episode, we dive into the bra...

When we have a child struggling, it’s easy to feel like our happiness is tied to theirs. That belief, often summed up in the phrase, "You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child," can leave us feeling powerless and overwhelmed. But what if letting go of that belief could create more peace, joy, and connection—not just for you, but for your child as well?

In this heartfelt episode, Heather dives into three powerful quest...

In this episode, Heather welcomes Dominique, founder and host of the podcast For Love of Recovery, which focuses on helping siblings navigate the challenges of having a brother or sister struggling with substance use. Together, they dive into the unique experiences that siblings face, which are often overlooked.

Dominique shares her personal journey, the inspiration behind her podcast, and insights into the sibling perspective on ...

The holidays can be one of the most challenging times of the year, especially when your child is struggling with substance use. The stress, uncertainty, and longing for things to be different can feel overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to define your holiday season.

In this episode, Heather shares simple yet powerful strategies to help you take care of yourself, honor your emotions, and create moments of peace, connection, and even j...

Heather explores the complex topic of manipulation in the context of addiction and family dynamics.

When your child is using substances, it’s common to experience behaviors that feel manipulative or self-serving. However, Heather emphasizes the importance of stepping back to see these actions through a compassionate lens, which can empower parents to respond with clarity rather than react out of frustration or hurt.

Heather covers...

Description: In this episode, Heather offers gentle support and guidance for those days when it feels like you can’t stop crying. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions and unsure of how to move forward, this episode is here to help.

Heather shares tools for self-awareness, honoring your feelings, and finding the willingness to sit with discomfort. She also provides practical tips for managing the really hard days. Whether you’...