October 6, 2024 • 23 mins
Can you truly have it all—a thriving career, fulfilling personal life, and peace of mind? Join me, Michael Kane, as I reflect on the balance between chasing dreams and embracing reality. Fresh from a much-needed vacation, I dive into the idea of "healthy obsessions" and how they can shape the way we live. By sharing personal anecdotes, I explore the power of channeling our fixations into positive forces that drive us toward achieving the life we envision. From career aspirations to daily indulgences, discover how these obsessions can motivate and inspire balanced living.
Gratitude and self-care take center stage as I contemplate the necessity of genuine breaks to recharge. Explore with me the art of setting realistic goals without letting go of your dreams, as I unpack the complex dance of balancing career, family, and personal ambitions. Reflecting on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I underscore the pivotal role of aligning our fundamental requirements with our loftier goals. With heartfelt appreciation for your support, I invite you to join a community of passionate individuals pursuing their aspirations and living life to the fullest. Don't forget to check out my book, "Slaying Your Dragons: Living Life You Always Wanted," for more insights into creating the life you desire.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, hello there.
This is Living your Success24-7 with Michael Caine, that's
right, with a C, not with a C.
Gotta spell my name, get itright.
So, anyway, how you doing?
I took a break, went onvacation, mellowed out, chilled
out, stopped to smell the roses.
So I am back, that's right, Iam back, I'm back, I'm back.
(00:26):
Okay, anyway, enough of that.
Anyway, hope all of you aredoing really, really, really
good.
And this year is zooming byOctober already, first week of
October.
So, man, make each day count.
(00:50):
That's why I took a littlesabbatical.
You got to freshen out and dolike a retreat, kind of you know
, get in that zone where youknow you don't have to do
anything.
It's nice to do that once in awhile and so.
But we do want to make sure ourhealth is sound, our physical
health, emotional health and ourpocketbook health right.
(01:14):
We need all of those Spiritualhealth, need all of those four
things to be complete.
So, in my opinion, that's right, it's always my opinion, it's
my show, so it's my opinion, youknow.
Agree to disagree?
All right, okay.
So I'm going to reference anarticle I wrote in my newsletter
(01:38):
called Catalyst with a K out ofC, and you can get that on my
website.
You can get that in a link.
On whatever platform you're on.
You get a link to it if you'reon Apple, spotify or iHeartRadio
or Amazon or numerous otherones, and also my website,
(02:01):
livingyoursuccesscom, advise youto click on that link and sign
up to my newsletter.
This point is a monthlynewsletter.
Excuse me, but you know it'sworth the wait, I believe
Personal opinion, biasedpersonal opinion and so I
(02:26):
encourage you to read that andalso encourage you to go on
Amazon to buy my book Slayingyour Dragons.
I've been seeing some.
I got some recent sales.
Thank you, folks who are buyingmy book Slaying your Dragons
living the life you alwayswanted.
I think it's more like a journeythan a destination.
It.
(02:47):
I think it's more like ajourney than a destination.
So treat it that way and it'seasier to get going right.
You can only start where you'reat.
So you want to live the lifeyou always wanted and you're
saying, oh, I'm too old, I'm 50,60 years old, 70.
You know what?
I can't bring back the past, Idon't have a time machine, but
and I tell myself that but youcan start from where you're at
(03:08):
and so don't beat yourself up.
Create a plan.
This show isn't about creatingthat plan now, but you can buy
my book.
It'll help you to say why you.
Well, it'll answer thatquestion why you?
You can do it and whatever yourdefinition of success is, you
(03:28):
can get as far as you can getright.
But what's today's show about?
I was thinking a little whileago, short while ago, about
obsessions.
Now, that could be good andthat could be very bad.
Now I'm not talking about crazyobsessions or illegal
(03:49):
obsessions or immoral obsessions, so that's not where I'm going.
So I'm thinking about I'm gonnacreate a oxymoron, a healthy
obsession, isn't that something?
So how can that be Like okay,okay.
So the question is I can addressin my article do you obsess or
(04:12):
long over anything?
And that's a wide open question?
It could be that blueberrymuffin you've been craving for?
Okay, I'm talking about myselffor the past five years.
How about daydreaming about aparticular career?
You wanted to maybe go back toschool, or whether it's academic
or vocational school, or learnsomething like computers or
(04:34):
something like that,cybersecurity or something
whatever.
They say that you have apassion for it.
You just obsess, thinking aboutit every day.
Obsessed, thinking about itevery day Currently, I have to
admit, like I mentioned in myarticle, I'm obsessing with
thoughts, obsessing withthoughts of prime rib, mmm juicy
(04:55):
, especially when you turnaround and see these commercials
and they have the prime rib orsteak.
So I have to say that was on mymind when I wrote this article.
Again, it's on my mind rightnow while I'm sharing this with
you.
My loyal audience.
How about Starbucks, that drink?
I always hear people oh, Ican't make it today, mike,
(05:16):
without that Starbucks orwhatever coffee or drink of
choice.
God, I don't think I'm going tomake it without that.
I know people that obsess overit all day long.
They just can't function,according to them, without it.
But it could be a music groupwith some songs you like.
You know how you get that songstuck in your head and you keep
(05:38):
singing it throughout the day.
Or some of you sports fanaticsout there I used to be one, not
anymore, but I understand, be itboxing or football, soccer,
tennis, whatever it is.
We can go on and on with that,with something you crave,
(06:06):
something you desire.
So it's okay to want things, aslong as you keep your behavior
and actions in check.
Means appropriate asappropriate.
Appropriate.
(06:32):
So only those healthy-likeobsessions let's tuck away for a
moment while I do this podcast,safely in the sanctuary of your
mind.
How's that?
So?
It's okay to want things, it'sokay.
So who doesn't Never met a realperson who doesn't want
something?
Don't you want anything?
No, you know, like forChristmas or someone's birthday?
No, people, you don't have togive me a thing.
What do you want?
I got everything.
(06:52):
I don't want anything.
Yes, you do Something.
You know life goes by in theblink of an eye.
You know I reference about howthis year is speeding by.
Do something, man.
What do you long for?
No-transcript.
(07:13):
And again, there's no right orwrong.
And each year goes by, for me,that pull gets stronger and
stronger of what I want to.
You know it grows, gets strongin me when I said, man, I really
(07:34):
want to do that, I want to goon that trip, I want to go back
to Switzerland, I want to getthat car, I want to.
You know it's like a supermagnet in the field of metals.
You've seen a super magnet,that's just so.
It cuts both ways and somepeople's obsession grows to
nuclear level, while others justgive up in despair saying hey,
(07:56):
after year 20, I give up, I'mnot getting it.
They sink into this.
Never going to happen, abyss,right.
And I'm referencing my articlethat I wrote.
You can read the whole thing oryou can just hear.
Listen, I'm not reading itverbatim, I'm just going through
some of the topics and somelines and it is straight up.
So'm paraphrasing.
(08:17):
So I do believe and I mentionedthis other, another podcast a
while ago, a long time ago um,life is a series of trade-offs,
maybe not all the time.
Maybe you can have a go.
You know this concept that youcan have it all.
Is it yes or no?
Do you believe you can have ago?
You know this concept that youcan have it all.
(08:37):
Is it yes or no?
Do you believe you can have itall?
And I want to say a qualifiedyes, even though it's a
technical no, perhaps not at thesame time.
Perhaps one, I'm going to dothis.
Two, I'm going to do this three.
Maybe you can't want to do one,two, three, four, three, four,
five, all at the same time, thesame period of your life.
(08:58):
So that's what I mean.
It's sort of that, not to bewishy-washy yes or no?
Well, technically yes, but notin the same year, like 2024.
You're not going to eat yourthree cakes and two, three
sweets, ice cream and toppingsall in the same bite?
Two, three sweets, ice creamand toppings all in the same
(09:21):
bite, the same plate, the sameyear.
So I don't think so.
I don't think so and that couldbe challenged, and this is not
omnipresent conversation or, youknow, not God, but I don't
believe, with quality in mindand lack of stress, that that
(09:43):
can happen.
Can you have your career, yourfamily, your significant other,
children, a big house, a dog orwhatever your animal choice?
Can you do that house, the dogor whatever your animal choice?
Can you do that, still becontent and still be giving the
focus and dedication to each ina significant way?
(10:04):
I don't know, I don't know.
What about balance?
Does that even really trulyexist?
Maybe you can manipulate theodds, give and take.
Are we cheating or giving upsomething to have half of
something?
Is that acquiescing versus allof it?
(10:25):
If you diminish or lower yourexpectations, is that sort of
cheating?
If I just lower my expectations, now I can do all I want to do.
Hmm, Argument here, here, Idon't know.
Is it realistic?
In many instances, we neglectone side of the coin.
(10:49):
When we're dedicated to theother side, we neglect something
.
You know like oh, you're alwaysworking, you're a workaholic,
you're always watching TV.
You're like, oh, you're alwaysworking, you're a workaholic,
you're always watching TV.
You're always going drinking atthe club with your friends.
You're always so you'resacrificing your relationship.
Is that having it all?
Or, daddy, can we do this?
(11:10):
Mommy, can we do this?
No, I'm sorry, honey, we areneglect, so you're giving up
something.
We are neglect, so you'regiving up something.
So I'm going to stick to mybiggest opinion.
We cannot necessarily have itall the time.
It does depend on the depth orcategory.
What we hope for, wish for, true, like I said, you could end
(11:34):
this conversation or debate.
It depends, does it Not?
The pants, underwear, you know?
So not that pants.
So it's kind of yes or no,right?
I think yes, we could have agood life, we could benefit from
(11:56):
the world that we built, theworld we created, hopefully not
a fantasy world where in yourfantasy world, you're doing
everything.
Yeah, in your dreams you can dowhatever you want, but now,
when you come to flesh and bloodin real life, where are you?
So if you accept 60% of a goal,then you have succeeded.
(12:25):
If 60% is acceptable to you Notto be a defeatist, Definitely
not trying to be a sellout.
I'm trying to be a realist.
Are you killing yourself inthree, four different categories
to maintain that so-calledbalance?
And again, is it truly balanceor are you just trading off?
(12:48):
So, not to be a defeatist, butat some point assuming, like me,
at one point, I want to be an,be an astronaut at some point.
I'm not going to outer space, Ihad to just accept that.
And especially if you're notinclined at at math or science
or flying large spaceships, okay, you're scared of flying.
(13:10):
Okay, ain't gonna happen.
And this is not to go againstthe prevailing wisdom that you
can be anything you want,because who's going to tell the
kid, no, you can't do that, youcan't do that.
Either you don't know what thiskid can do or not.
You don't know.
You don't know what you couldhave done had you stuck out that
(13:34):
race and not switched andtraded off, not to point fingers
.
But many of us have done that.
We gave up the dream, whateverthat was.
So I want to avoidcontradiction and say I'm not
(13:56):
telling a kid, no, you'll neverdo this, you never do that.
I do believe many things arepossible.
Gave many speeches andpresentations and workshops and
stuff like that over the yearsto encourage.
I've encouraged people atvarious ages and I'm saying this
for a point, from 12-year-olds14-year-olds high school, went
into high school several andspoke into some of the churches
(14:20):
in the community and also incommunity fairs, events and
workshops and onlinepresentations, and I'm not gonna
tell any of those people.
You're not going to live yourdream or realize it.
(14:43):
That's too.
That's not up for me or you.
Now, if they don't handle it ordo it, I'm not going to say I
told you so that'd be cruel.
And I'm not going to encourageanyone to give up, to not fight
(15:03):
for what they want.
Remember Maslow's hierarchy ofneeds that comes to mind, where
you have to get your basic needsfirst.
You know the food.
If you don't eat food, you'redead.
You're not thinking about oh,let me go to school, let me get
this, let me get that.
If you don't have food, it'sopen, you don't have clothes,
(15:23):
you can't go walk around naked,you need shelter, all those
things.
Then, after you get your basicneeds met, then all those wants
come into play.
But sometimes I need to throw.
It's not my focal point of thispodcast, but I have to say some
of us get off track and confuseneeds and wants.
(15:48):
They jump into the wantswithout satisfying all the needs
.
Then you get messed up.
Then people start pointingfingers, blaming the man, the
system, god and whatever.
You jump the gun.
Don't jump the gun.
No matter how much someone begsyou, pleads with you.
If you're not ready to dowhatever X is, don't do it.
(16:09):
So this is not a proposedreferendum on achieving goals or
missing out on the life wedesire.
We're all different.
We come in a variety of colors,shapes, sizes, thoughts.
We got to work on the thoughts.
Sometimes we can get with somany people, so, like us, we
don't hear diversity of opinionor other common, more common
(16:32):
sense kind of things.
But we'll experience differentrealities.
No one's better, smarter orwhatever.
But be careful.
What you wish for Just may getit right.
We should plan for the future,but we do need to live in the
(16:54):
moment.
I missed a lot in the present,present, worrying about tomorrow
all the time.
Now notice I said worry, planand reason and plan and do work
on the future, but don't worryabout it right.
(17:14):
We need to frame our lives inthis reality.
It doesn't mean you don't pushthrough the current reality and
create a new one.
You should, because that meansgoals are met, dreams are
realized, desires and hopes aremet.
You are a master of your world.
(17:37):
You are a master of your world.
So as we grow, develop and age,our reality will change based on
our experiences.
For example, what we believe ordesire at 10 years old.
10 years of age is notnecessarily the same as when we
turn 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80years old.
There's growth, the growthPeople.
(18:00):
Please continue the growth.
You hear you see these romanticcomedies, or see these movies,
or read these books, or peopleleave.
Well, I'm leaving.
We're not the same peopleanymore.
I grew, you stayed the same.
I'm 40, you still stuck in 10in your head.
Have you had people that don'tgrow?
(18:20):
Friends, family members juststay like they are.
I mean just no growthwhatsoever, and that's on them.
So we have a healthy obsessionover something and again you can
call it a goal, a dream, newYear's resolution, and you need
(18:42):
to plan on to make it happen,work on it, put in that bucket
list.
Many people kick their can downthe road until it may not be
any road left to kick it.
We die before we achieve thatdream pleasantry, whatever it is
, one day I'm going to do whatdid you say and lie about I'm
going to do?
Sometimes we give it up.
(19:03):
We don't mean to lie, we don'tmean to say falsehoods, but we
give up.
We give up with our first.
We give up within ourselves andgive up others outside of us.
Go eat that thing, go travel tothat country, go take that class
that you always want.
Go do whatever it is.
(19:25):
Go meet that person.
Go exercise, I'm telling myself.
Go exercise.
Stop making excuses.
Go love your life.
Folks, do you hear me?
Go love you.
You don't need nobody else tolove you.
Go love yourself first.
(19:46):
That's why some of y'all have aproblem.
You don't love yourself.
You're not taking care ofyourself.
You gotta take care of you too.
So perhaps you're not in aposition today to do any of
these things you want to do.
Maybe you're just not Beenthere.
Done that.
You can, if you keep movingforward by taking decisive
(20:08):
action toward that thing youdesire, whatever that thing is.
Spend some time focusing onyour energies to achieve that
goal Again.
So many times we make decisionsthat are contrary to what we
desire, instead of remainingsteadfast, allowing that burning
desire to move from concept toreality.
(20:31):
Am I speaking to someone?
We trip ourselves up.
You don't have to wait forsomeone to trip to someone.
We trip ourselves up.
You don't have to wait forsomeone to trip you up.
We trip ourselves up and giveup our power to ways of the
world and to others.
I believe life is like a cat.
What do you say, michael K?
A little cat, don't?
You love dogs?
I love dogs.
We're talking about cats now.
I believe life is like a catwith nine lives, folks, when
(20:55):
we're talking about cats now, Ibelieve life is like a cat with
nine lives.
I'm preaching now when thatninth life is up, meaning you
squandered it, reached our pointof no return, waited too late,
we kicked that can down the road.
Now we can't.
We are put on this earth toaccomplish things in a finite
period.
Sorry, no immortals here, youdon't live forever.
Those things are up to you todecide.
(21:18):
At the stroke of midnight, wegain or lose for that particular
day.
Did we realize our goals fortoday, sunday?
Because when the 1159 pm andthe clock strikes 12 am, it's
over.
You get to try it tomorrow, aday that is never returning for
opportunity.
So this day is gone.
Whatever you did, accomplishedor not, is done.
(21:40):
Stroke of midnight, so poordecisions are akin to lighting
our life candles at both endsDid you hear me?
The candle burns twice as fastwithout accomplishing our goals.
Do we want that?
Do you really want that?
No, you don't.
So what am I saying?
(22:02):
I'm saying, at the end of theday, we are some of our choices.
Okay, we're some of our choices.
So I think preaching time isover.
I just want my listeners, myreaders, do your healthy
(22:24):
obsession that longing for thelove of obsession is the title
of this pseudo title here to doyou.
And so thank you for beingloyal to listening to me.
And you'll be hearing more newpodcasts now, and I'm going to
(22:49):
be taking periodic breaks, andwhen I say breaks on vacation,
vacation stuff, and you know howsome people take their laptop
with them while I'm working well, that's not a true vacation.
I'm totally zoning out andliving in the moment.
So, um, and I want you to dothe same.
So that's it.
This is Michael Kane.
(23:11):
Don't forget to buy slayingyour dragons Living Life you
Always Wanted on Amazonpaperback, hardback or ebook.
You can sign up to thenewsletter at
livingyoursuccesscom or in linksin any of these shows.
So thank you again and Iappreciate all of you.
Wish all of you a nice rest ofthe day and week.
(23:33):
Thank you Until we meet again.
Well, hello there.
This is Living your Success24-7 with Michael Caine, that's
right, with a C, not with a C.
Gotta spell my name, get itright.
So, anyway, how you doing?
I took a break, went onvacation, mellowed out, chilled
out, stopped to smell the roses.
So I am back, that's right, Iam back, I'm back, I'm back.
(00:26):
Okay, anyway, enough of that.
Anyway, hope all of you aredoing really, really, really
good.
And this year is zooming byOctober already, first week of
October.
So, man, make each day count.
(00:50):
That's why I took a littlesabbatical.
You got to freshen out and dolike a retreat, kind of you know
, get in that zone where youknow you don't have to do
anything.
It's nice to do that once in awhile and so.
But we do want to make sure ourhealth is sound, our physical
health, emotional health and ourpocketbook health right.
(01:14):
We need all of those Spiritualhealth, need all of those four
things to be complete.
So, in my opinion, that's right, it's always my opinion, it's
my show, so it's my opinion, youknow.
Agree to disagree?
All right, okay.
So I'm going to reference anarticle I wrote in my newsletter
(01:38):
called Catalyst with a K out ofC, and you can get that on my
website.
You can get that in a link.
On whatever platform you're on.
You get a link to it if you'reon Apple, spotify or iHeartRadio
or Amazon or numerous otherones, and also my website,
(02:01):
livingyoursuccesscom, advise youto click on that link and sign
up to my newsletter.
This point is a monthlynewsletter.
Excuse me, but you know it'sworth the wait, I believe
Personal opinion, biasedpersonal opinion and so I
(02:26):
encourage you to read that andalso encourage you to go on
Amazon to buy my book Slayingyour Dragons.
I've been seeing some.
I got some recent sales.
Thank you, folks who are buyingmy book Slaying your Dragons
living the life you alwayswanted.
I think it's more like a journeythan a destination.
It.
(02:47):
I think it's more like ajourney than a destination.
So treat it that way and it'seasier to get going right.
You can only start where you'reat.
So you want to live the lifeyou always wanted and you're
saying, oh, I'm too old, I'm 50,60 years old, 70.
You know what?
I can't bring back the past, Idon't have a time machine, but
and I tell myself that but youcan start from where you're at
(03:08):
and so don't beat yourself up.
Create a plan.
This show isn't about creatingthat plan now, but you can buy
my book.
It'll help you to say why you.
Well, it'll answer thatquestion why you?
You can do it and whatever yourdefinition of success is, you
(03:28):
can get as far as you can getright.
But what's today's show about?
I was thinking a little whileago, short while ago, about
obsessions.
Now, that could be good andthat could be very bad.
Now I'm not talking about crazyobsessions or illegal
(03:49):
obsessions or immoral obsessions, so that's not where I'm going.
So I'm thinking about I'm gonnacreate a oxymoron, a healthy
obsession, isn't that something?
So how can that be Like okay,okay.
So the question is I can addressin my article do you obsess or
(04:12):
long over anything?
And that's a wide open question?
It could be that blueberrymuffin you've been craving for?
Okay, I'm talking about myselffor the past five years.
How about daydreaming about aparticular career?
You wanted to maybe go back toschool, or whether it's academic
or vocational school, or learnsomething like computers or
(04:34):
something like that,cybersecurity or something
whatever.
They say that you have apassion for it.
You just obsess, thinking aboutit every day.
Obsessed, thinking about itevery day Currently, I have to
admit, like I mentioned in myarticle, I'm obsessing with
thoughts, obsessing withthoughts of prime rib, mmm juicy
(04:55):
, especially when you turnaround and see these commercials
and they have the prime rib orsteak.
So I have to say that was on mymind when I wrote this article.
Again, it's on my mind rightnow while I'm sharing this with
you.
My loyal audience.
How about Starbucks, that drink?
I always hear people oh, Ican't make it today, mike,
(05:16):
without that Starbucks orwhatever coffee or drink of
choice.
God, I don't think I'm going tomake it without that.
I know people that obsess overit all day long.
They just can't function,according to them, without it.
But it could be a music groupwith some songs you like.
You know how you get that songstuck in your head and you keep
(05:38):
singing it throughout the day.
Or some of you sports fanaticsout there I used to be one, not
anymore, but I understand, be itboxing or football, soccer,
tennis, whatever it is.
We can go on and on with that,with something you crave,
(06:06):
something you desire.
So it's okay to want things, aslong as you keep your behavior
and actions in check.
Means appropriate asappropriate.
Appropriate.
(06:32):
So only those healthy-likeobsessions let's tuck away for a
moment while I do this podcast,safely in the sanctuary of your
mind.
How's that?
So?
It's okay to want things, it'sokay.
So who doesn't Never met a realperson who doesn't want
something?
Don't you want anything?
No, you know, like forChristmas or someone's birthday?
No, people, you don't have togive me a thing.
What do you want?
I got everything.
(06:52):
I don't want anything.
Yes, you do Something.
You know life goes by in theblink of an eye.
You know I reference about howthis year is speeding by.
Do something, man.
What do you long for?
No-transcript.
(07:13):
And again, there's no right orwrong.
And each year goes by, for me,that pull gets stronger and
stronger of what I want to.
You know it grows, gets strongin me when I said, man, I really
(07:34):
want to do that, I want to goon that trip, I want to go back
to Switzerland, I want to getthat car, I want to.
You know it's like a supermagnet in the field of metals.
You've seen a super magnet,that's just so.
It cuts both ways and somepeople's obsession grows to
nuclear level, while others justgive up in despair saying hey,
(07:56):
after year 20, I give up, I'mnot getting it.
They sink into this.
Never going to happen, abyss,right.
And I'm referencing my articlethat I wrote.
You can read the whole thing oryou can just hear.
Listen, I'm not reading itverbatim, I'm just going through
some of the topics and somelines and it is straight up.
So'm paraphrasing.
(08:17):
So I do believe and I mentionedthis other, another podcast a
while ago, a long time ago um,life is a series of trade-offs,
maybe not all the time.
Maybe you can have a go.
You know this concept that youcan have it all.
Is it yes or no?
Do you believe you can have ago?
You know this concept that youcan have it all.
(08:37):
Is it yes or no?
Do you believe you can have itall?
And I want to say a qualifiedyes, even though it's a
technical no, perhaps not at thesame time.
Perhaps one, I'm going to dothis.
Two, I'm going to do this three.
Maybe you can't want to do one,two, three, four, three, four,
five, all at the same time, thesame period of your life.
(08:58):
So that's what I mean.
It's sort of that, not to bewishy-washy yes or no?
Well, technically yes, but notin the same year, like 2024.
You're not going to eat yourthree cakes and two, three
sweets, ice cream and toppingsall in the same bite?
Two, three sweets, ice creamand toppings all in the same
(09:21):
bite, the same plate, the sameyear.
So I don't think so.
I don't think so and that couldbe challenged, and this is not
omnipresent conversation or, youknow, not God, but I don't
believe, with quality in mindand lack of stress, that that
(09:43):
can happen.
Can you have your career, yourfamily, your significant other,
children, a big house, a dog orwhatever your animal choice?
Can you do that house, the dogor whatever your animal choice?
Can you do that, still becontent and still be giving the
focus and dedication to each ina significant way?
(10:04):
I don't know, I don't know.
What about balance?
Does that even really trulyexist?
Maybe you can manipulate theodds, give and take.
Are we cheating or giving upsomething to have half of
something?
Is that acquiescing versus allof it?
(10:25):
If you diminish or lower yourexpectations, is that sort of
cheating?
If I just lower my expectations, now I can do all I want to do.
Hmm, Argument here, here, Idon't know.
Is it realistic?
In many instances, we neglectone side of the coin.
(10:49):
When we're dedicated to theother side, we neglect something
.
You know like oh, you're alwaysworking, you're a workaholic,
you're always watching TV.
You're like, oh, you're alwaysworking, you're a workaholic,
you're always watching TV.
You're always going drinking atthe club with your friends.
You're always so you'resacrificing your relationship.
Is that having it all?
Or, daddy, can we do this?
(11:10):
Mommy, can we do this?
No, I'm sorry, honey, we areneglect, so you're giving up
something.
We are neglect, so you'regiving up something.
So I'm going to stick to mybiggest opinion.
We cannot necessarily have itall the time.
It does depend on the depth orcategory.
What we hope for, wish for, true, like I said, you could end
(11:34):
this conversation or debate.
It depends, does it Not?
The pants, underwear, you know?
So not that pants.
So it's kind of yes or no,right?
I think yes, we could have agood life, we could benefit from
(11:56):
the world that we built, theworld we created, hopefully not
a fantasy world where in yourfantasy world, you're doing
everything.
Yeah, in your dreams you can dowhatever you want, but now,
when you come to flesh and bloodin real life, where are you?
So if you accept 60% of a goal,then you have succeeded.
(12:25):
If 60% is acceptable to you Notto be a defeatist, Definitely
not trying to be a sellout.
I'm trying to be a realist.
Are you killing yourself inthree, four different categories
to maintain that so-calledbalance?
And again, is it truly balanceor are you just trading off?
(12:48):
So, not to be a defeatist, butat some point assuming, like me,
at one point, I want to be an,be an astronaut at some point.
I'm not going to outer space, Ihad to just accept that.
And especially if you're notinclined at at math or science
or flying large spaceships, okay, you're scared of flying.
(13:10):
Okay, ain't gonna happen.
And this is not to go againstthe prevailing wisdom that you
can be anything you want,because who's going to tell the
kid, no, you can't do that, youcan't do that.
Either you don't know what thiskid can do or not.
You don't know.
You don't know what you couldhave done had you stuck out that
(13:34):
race and not switched andtraded off, not to point fingers
.
But many of us have done that.
We gave up the dream, whateverthat was.
So I want to avoidcontradiction and say I'm not
(13:56):
telling a kid, no, you'll neverdo this, you never do that.
I do believe many things arepossible.
Gave many speeches andpresentations and workshops and
stuff like that over the yearsto encourage.
I've encouraged people atvarious ages and I'm saying this
for a point, from 12-year-olds14-year-olds high school, went
into high school several andspoke into some of the churches
(14:20):
in the community and also incommunity fairs, events and
workshops and onlinepresentations, and I'm not gonna
tell any of those people.
You're not going to live yourdream or realize it.
(14:43):
That's too.
That's not up for me or you.
Now, if they don't handle it ordo it, I'm not going to say I
told you so that'd be cruel.
And I'm not going to encourageanyone to give up, to not fight
(15:03):
for what they want.
Remember Maslow's hierarchy ofneeds that comes to mind, where
you have to get your basic needsfirst.
You know the food.
If you don't eat food, you'redead.
You're not thinking about oh,let me go to school, let me get
this, let me get that.
If you don't have food, it'sopen, you don't have clothes,
(15:23):
you can't go walk around naked,you need shelter, all those
things.
Then, after you get your basicneeds met, then all those wants
come into play.
But sometimes I need to throw.
It's not my focal point of thispodcast, but I have to say some
of us get off track and confuseneeds and wants.
(15:48):
They jump into the wantswithout satisfying all the needs
.
Then you get messed up.
Then people start pointingfingers, blaming the man, the
system, god and whatever.
You jump the gun.
Don't jump the gun.
No matter how much someone begsyou, pleads with you.
If you're not ready to dowhatever X is, don't do it.
(16:09):
So this is not a proposedreferendum on achieving goals or
missing out on the life wedesire.
We're all different.
We come in a variety of colors,shapes, sizes, thoughts.
We got to work on the thoughts.
Sometimes we can get with somany people, so, like us, we
don't hear diversity of opinionor other common, more common
(16:32):
sense kind of things.
But we'll experience differentrealities.
No one's better, smarter orwhatever.
But be careful.
What you wish for Just may getit right.
We should plan for the future,but we do need to live in the
(16:54):
moment.
I missed a lot in the present,present, worrying about tomorrow
all the time.
Now notice I said worry, planand reason and plan and do work
on the future, but don't worryabout it right.
(17:14):
We need to frame our lives inthis reality.
It doesn't mean you don't pushthrough the current reality and
create a new one.
You should, because that meansgoals are met, dreams are
realized, desires and hopes aremet.
You are a master of your world.
(17:37):
You are a master of your world.
So as we grow, develop and age,our reality will change based on
our experiences.
For example, what we believe ordesire at 10 years old.
10 years of age is notnecessarily the same as when we
turn 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80years old.
There's growth, the growthPeople.
(18:00):
Please continue the growth.
You hear you see these romanticcomedies, or see these movies,
or read these books, or peopleleave.
Well, I'm leaving.
We're not the same peopleanymore.
I grew, you stayed the same.
I'm 40, you still stuck in 10in your head.
Have you had people that don'tgrow?
(18:20):
Friends, family members juststay like they are.
I mean just no growthwhatsoever, and that's on them.
So we have a healthy obsessionover something and again you can
call it a goal, a dream, newYear's resolution, and you need
(18:42):
to plan on to make it happen,work on it, put in that bucket
list.
Many people kick their can downthe road until it may not be
any road left to kick it.
We die before we achieve thatdream pleasantry, whatever it is
, one day I'm going to do whatdid you say and lie about I'm
going to do?
Sometimes we give it up.
(19:03):
We don't mean to lie, we don'tmean to say falsehoods, but we
give up.
We give up with our first.
We give up within ourselves andgive up others outside of us.
Go eat that thing, go travel tothat country, go take that class
that you always want.
Go do whatever it is.
(19:25):
Go meet that person.
Go exercise, I'm telling myself.
Go exercise.
Stop making excuses.
Go love your life.
Folks, do you hear me?
Go love you.
You don't need nobody else tolove you.
Go love yourself first.
(19:46):
That's why some of y'all have aproblem.
You don't love yourself.
You're not taking care ofyourself.
You gotta take care of you too.
So perhaps you're not in aposition today to do any of
these things you want to do.
Maybe you're just not Beenthere.
Done that.
You can, if you keep movingforward by taking decisive
(20:08):
action toward that thing youdesire, whatever that thing is.
Spend some time focusing onyour energies to achieve that
goal Again.
So many times we make decisionsthat are contrary to what we
desire, instead of remainingsteadfast, allowing that burning
desire to move from concept toreality.
(20:31):
Am I speaking to someone?
We trip ourselves up.
You don't have to wait forsomeone to trip to someone.
We trip ourselves up.
You don't have to wait forsomeone to trip you up.
We trip ourselves up and giveup our power to ways of the
world and to others.
I believe life is like a cat.
What do you say, michael K?
A little cat, don't?
You love dogs?
I love dogs.
We're talking about cats now.
I believe life is like a catwith nine lives, folks, when
(20:55):
we're talking about cats now, Ibelieve life is like a cat with
nine lives.
I'm preaching now when thatninth life is up, meaning you
squandered it, reached our pointof no return, waited too late,
we kicked that can down the road.
Now we can't.
We are put on this earth toaccomplish things in a finite
period.
Sorry, no immortals here, youdon't live forever.
Those things are up to you todecide.
(21:18):
At the stroke of midnight, wegain or lose for that particular
day.
Did we realize our goals fortoday, sunday?
Because when the 1159 pm andthe clock strikes 12 am, it's
over.
You get to try it tomorrow, aday that is never returning for
opportunity.
So this day is gone.
Whatever you did, accomplishedor not, is done.
(21:40):
Stroke of midnight, so poordecisions are akin to lighting
our life candles at both endsDid you hear me?
The candle burns twice as fastwithout accomplishing our goals.
Do we want that?
Do you really want that?
No, you don't.
So what am I saying?
(22:02):
I'm saying, at the end of theday, we are some of our choices.
Okay, we're some of our choices.
So I think preaching time isover.
I just want my listeners, myreaders, do your healthy
(22:24):
obsession that longing for thelove of obsession is the title
of this pseudo title here to doyou.
And so thank you for beingloyal to listening to me.
And you'll be hearing more newpodcasts now, and I'm going to
(22:49):
be taking periodic breaks, andwhen I say breaks on vacation,
vacation stuff, and you know howsome people take their laptop
with them while I'm working well, that's not a true vacation.
I'm totally zoning out andliving in the moment.
So, um, and I want you to dothe same.
So that's it.
This is Michael Kane.
(23:11):
Don't forget to buy slayingyour dragons Living Life you
Always Wanted on Amazonpaperback, hardback or ebook.
You can sign up to thenewsletter at
livingyoursuccesscom or in linksin any of these shows.
So thank you again and Iappreciate all of you.
Wish all of you a nice rest ofthe day and week.
(23:33):
Thank you Until we meet again.
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