December 8, 2025 • 20 mins
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In this silly story, a boy’s parents are at their wits’ end. Their son absolutely refuses to take a bath. They’ve tried songs, toys, bribes and sticker charts. Nothing works. Their final hope? A desperate call to the Bath Police.
To see if the shout-out list is open, visit: lolstorytime.com/shoutouts
Visit lolstorytime.com for merch and other... stuff.
In this silly story, a boy’s parents are at their wits’ end. Their son absolutely refuses to take a bath. They’ve tried songs, toys, bribes and sticker charts. Nothing works. Their final hope? A desperate call to the Bath Police.
To see if the shout-out list is open, visit: lolstorytime.com/shoutouts
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
In today's episode, a story about a kid who refuses
to take a bath, even if someone were to offer
him a million dollars. Let's get into it, Helloll, story
time truly not a boring time, rab a standing You'll
be fine. Follow the whole storyline, Helloll story time, might
you have at least one time? Well, this is the
(00:25):
story of a kid who had never ever taken a bath,
not a regular bath, not a bubble bath, and perhaps
it goes without saying, not even a bird bath. Wesley
didn't do showers either. He wanted nothing to do with
any of that stuff. His poor parents had tried everything,
but even from the time he was a wee little baby,
he refused to take a bath. He would scream and
(00:48):
thrash his idy bitty baby legs and his teeny tiny
baby arms. All of the twisting and flailing made his
parents worry they might drop him, so they always gave up.
It didn't get any easier as he grew either. When
he was a toddler, his anti bath temper tantrums were
out of control. One time, while being carried to the tub,
he grabbed a hold of a towel rack and held
(01:08):
on for dear life. I'm not going in that tub.
I don't like tubs, and they don't like me. The
towel rack ended up being pulled right off the wall,
which then fell behind the toilet and cracked a pipe.
This caused water to start spraying everywhere. The entire room
was completely soaked, as were his parents, but Wesley escaped
just in time and had stayed completely dry. His parents
(01:32):
did everything they could to make bath time more exciting.
They even made up a little song that went, tubs
are fun, tubs are cool. It's basically just a mini
swimming pool. But Wesley didn't care for that tune, and
he definitely didn't care for their attempts to lure him
into the tub with fancy bath toys. But check it out, son,
This is a limited edition eighteen care gold plated rubber
(01:55):
ducky with a ceramic beak that lights up. How can
you say no to a bath toy like that? But
Wesley had always told him he wouldn't even do it
for a million dollars. And even though his temper tantrums
went away as he grew older, well now he had
something else. Excuses. Sorry, guys, I just don't have time
to take a bath right now. I'm just so busy,
(02:15):
you know, Wesley, You're not busy. You're lying on the
couch throwing a ball in the air. Sometimes these people
made no sense to Wesley. Well, mom, the ball's not
gonna throw itself. I have to see if I can
beat my record of eighty three consecutive catches. Besides, haven't
I told you before that I'm not really a bath
guy or a shower guy. And this kid was not
(02:39):
the kind of person you could easily trick. No, I'm
not going to come give you a hug while you're
holding a garden hose. No, I don't want to go
to the swimming pool with you today. Pools are basically
just giant bathtubs. And don't get me started on beaches.
The beach is just nature's bathtub. Wesley's parents eventually had
to sit him down for a difficult conversation. Wesley, you
(03:02):
know we love you, right, but there's no bath thing.
It's gotta stop. There's no need for it. Good hygiene
is important. Wesley obviously didn't think so hygiene Shmi Gene.
I'll tell you what's really important. Robots that can do backflips, Like,
how can you even think about giving someone a bath
at a time like this, when we still haven't figured
out how to get robots to do a backflip. Wesley's
(03:24):
mother gave his father a subtle nod. The thing is, Wesley,
you stink. Okay, no child wants to hear that from
their parents, but it's true. You're absolutely filthy. Look at
your skin. You have layers upon layers of dirt. The
old dirt has started their own families. Some of the
dirt is probably expecting grandchildren. It's just not healthy. Wesley
(03:46):
took a whiff of his armpit. I mean, I suppose
it smells a little bit ripe, but it's kind of
got character. Do we really want to live in a
world where everyone smells the same? And come on, it's
not like I've heard anyone complain about it before. Wesley's
mother had a hard time believing that. Wesley, your friends
and classmates have all been wearing nose plugs around you
(04:07):
since the first grade. Why do you think your teacher
has forty seven different types of air fresheners in your classroom?
Wesley shrugged. I just thought she really liked air fresheners.
But can we not all agree that those things smell
so much worse. At least my scent is natural. At
this point, Wesley's parents were left with no other choice.
There was only one thing left to try, the thing
(04:29):
reserved for the most desperate of parents. Wesley. I'm so sorry,
but your father and I are going to have to
call the bath police on you. We never wanted it
to come to this, but we need to get you
fresh and clean instead of trembling and cowering in fear.
Wesley snorted, bath police, Yeah right, that's not a thing.
(04:49):
You might have been able to scare me with that
when I was younger, but I'm too old to fall
for that now. But Wesley's parents weren't bluffing. They got
on the phone straight away. Hello bath Police. Yeah, Hi,
I've got a child here that won't take a bath
and he stinks. After hanging up the phone, she turned
to Wesley and said the bath police said they're on
(05:09):
their way. Wesley stood up and started walking to his bedroom,
laughing the whole way. Twenty minutes later, there was a
loud knock at the door. Bath police. Oh, thank you
so much for coming, said Wesley's mother as she answered
the door. We didn't know who else to call. You
call the right people. This is what we do now, Please,
(05:31):
how long has it been since the suspecting question has
taken a bath? Are we talking one week? Two weeks?
A month? Wesley's mother started to square him. Try never, never,
repeated the officer, as in never ever, as in your
boy has never ever taken a bath in his entire life.
(05:51):
The man turned to the other two officers standing next
to him, Guys, I think we might be in for
our toughest case yet, but this is the kind of
thing we've been training for or Wesley had been quietly
watching this interaction through the small opening in his bedroom door.
At first, it looked like his parents were talking to
three of the ghostbusters, but after a closer look, it
was clear these people weren't here for ghosts. Instead of
(06:14):
proton packs, each officer wore a different kind of specialized backpack.
The guy with water written across his uniform had a
clear plastic jug strapped to his back. It connected to
a spray nozzle that was holstered at his belt. The
woman standing next to him had soap printed across hers.
On her back were two separate containers, one Wesley guest
(06:35):
held shampoo and the other soap or was one of
them conditioner. Maybe the shampoo was a two in one
to save on space. The third officer had dry printed
across his chest. Strapped to his back was what Wesley
decided might be the world's largest and most powerful blow dryer.
Wesley's dad was practically drooling as he imagined using it
(06:56):
to blast all of the fall leaves into the neighbor's yard.
All three officers wore badges shaped like rubber duckies, and
even their hats had shiny yellow duck emblems. Wesley flung
his door open and sprung out into the hallway. So
they do exist. This is gonna be so cool. I've
seen so many police chases in the movies, and I've
(07:16):
always wondered what it might feel like to be in
one of them. I can picture it now, Sliding down firescapes,
leaping across rooftops, hiding inside of dumpsters while the police
look around and say, hey, what happened to the kid?
I thought he went this way? The officers looked up
at Wesley on the second floor. Of course, a kid
as filthy as him would think about hiding in a dumpster.
(07:40):
Wesley's parents never would have guessed their son would be
excited about having the Bath police after him. Wesley, this
isn't supposed to be fun. You're not supposed to be
enjoying this. Being chased by the police. Bath Police is
not a good thing. You come down here this instant,
Wesley decided that sliding down the drain pipe outside of
his bedroom window and makeing a run for it was
(08:01):
a much better choice. The officers started to make their move,
but then held back for a moment to give Wesley's
parents some reassurance. We just want you to know your
boy will be fine. Our water sprayers and blow dryers
are always set to the lowest and most gentle settings,
and our shampoo uses a special no tears formula. We'll
have your son back home before at the end of
(08:21):
the day, smelling like a bouquet of roses. But what
about his clothes, asked Wesley's mother. He'll be getting washed
with his clothes on, ma'am, unless your boy has a
habit of running around the city naked. The officer then
turned to the other two officer Soap officer dry, it's
time to rub a dub dub. The officers all put
(08:43):
their fists together and repeated the slogan rub a dub dub.
The bath place moved quickly, and it didn't take long
to start gaining on Wesley. It also helped that they
were traveling in a zippy little three person rubber ducky
on wheels. I see the boy up ahead, called out
the officer who was driving. The one sitting in the
middle said, and I can smell him too, pee you.
(09:05):
Wesley was enjoying every minute of it. What a thrill
to be a stinky fugitive on the run. But simply
running wasn't enough. He felt compelled to add all sorts
of fancy maneuvers, Like the parked car in his path.
He easily could have run around it, but instead he
climbed straight over the hood and finished with a nifty
little tuck 'n' roll landing. Hey, some kid just wiped
(09:27):
dirt all over my car. I just had a wash
this morning. A little further along, he slipped into someone's
back yard. He could have run under the clothes line
without even ducking, yet for some reason, he grabbed a hold,
swung himself around three full times, and then flung himself
through the air. Like a gymnast, but shouting coming through
move out of the way while sprinting across an empty
(09:50):
parking lot. Well, that one made the least amount of
sense the officers were gaining. The one with the water
pack unholstered his sprayer and took aim. Just a little
bit closer and I'll be able to squirt the little fellow.
Acting fast, Wesley darted in front of an older woman
walking along the sidewalk. The spray missed Wesley entirely, but
(10:10):
completely covered the woman. She spun around and glared at
the man in the rubber duckymobile, who himself looked even
more shocked than she did. At first, she was furious,
but then she caught a sight of officer soap. Oh,
is that a floral shampoo? I love when my hair
smells like roses. And since you already ruined my curls,
(10:32):
you may as well finish the job. Ten minutes later,
the old woman was squeaky clean. Wesley, meanwhile, was long gone.
Ah man, he could be anywhere by now. Officers back
in the rubber duckymobile, it's time to rubb a dub dub.
Knowing he was no match for the speed of the
Rubber duckymobile, Wesley had taken to the rooftops. Some of
(10:55):
the best chase scenes in his favorite movies happened up there,
and now he was finally about to his first ever
roof jump. But as he prepared to leap to the
next building, he froze, WHOA, that is a very large gap,
and that is an awfully long way down. There is
no way anyone would do that in real life. You
could never stack enough fluffy pillows and marshmallows down there
(11:17):
to make me even consider it. He also realized it
was a strange thing to attempt when no one was
even chasing him up on the roof After all that
build up, he simply turned around and went back inside
the building. When he was back on the street, Wesley
searched for a store he could hide inside it for
a little while. He realized he'd made a huge mistake
the moment he walked into the first one. Ah, gross,
(11:40):
what is this place? Is this some kind of joke?
Do you people work for them? Is this a trap?
The salespeople and customers all turned around and stared at him.
Everywhere he looked, all he could see were tubs, big tubs,
little tubs, blue tubs, white tubs. He had somehow failed
to notice the sign out front that said, you people
(12:02):
should be ashamed of yourselves for selling this stuff. Absolutely ashamed.
Have you no sense of decency? He bolted at the
back door and into an alleyway, where he felt so
much better. The alley was dirty and grimy and had
four full sized garbage dumpsters lined up in a row.
He was about to climb into one of them when
he heard the screech of tires. At the far end
(12:23):
of the alley, he saw the rubber duckymobile. The officers
were already sprinting toward him. Even if you tried to
run the other way, he wouldn't get far. A chain
link fence blocked the exit, and he absolutely refused to
climb many more fences after the time, one tore a
huge hole in his pants. Getting his ball back from
the other side of the fence had not been worth
half the school getting a peek at his underwear. Stay back,
(12:45):
don't come any closer, or I'll jump into this muddy puddle.
The bathplace stopped in their tracks as soon as they
saw the puddle at the edge of Wesley's toes. He
was as wide and long as a pretty big stick
and as deep as a soda can. Come on, kid,
you don't want to do this. That puddle water isn't clean.
It looks like chocolate milk. Wesley inch closer to prove
(13:09):
he wasn't messing around. Kid, Please, you have so many
reasons not to get any dirtier. It doesn't have to
be like this. You can be clean. Let us help
you from somewhere deep inside a little piece of toddler.
Wesley crept out, But I don't wantna take a bath.
The officers edged forward slowly. Kid. We found you here
(13:32):
because we could literally smell you from a mile away.
Even if you escape, we'll still track you down and
come on, look around. There's nowhere left to run. Let
us help you. We can have you smelling like roses
instead of a kid who got into a fight with us. Skunk.
He wasn't wrong, even if Wesley jumped into the puddle
and made himself dirtier than what kid, This isn't like
(13:54):
the movies. A helicopter isn't just gonna drop you a
rope and help you escape. The off or really shouldn't
have said that. The guy totally jingxed it right on cue.
They all looked up as the sound of a helicopter
thundered overhead, and just like in the movies, a rope
ladder dropped down, stopping right above Wesley's head. It seemed
he was being rescued. Sorry, guys, I'd love to stay
(14:18):
in chat, but I've got an epic escape to make.
Wesley was already high above the city by the time
he climbed off the rope ladder into the helicopter. His
heart was pounding a mile a minute. Oh wow, that
was absolutely terrifying. My knuckles were turning white from holding
the rope so tight. How do people in the movies
hang from a ladder with one hand while waving at
(14:39):
the police detectives with a briefcase full of jewels in
the other. There's no way anyone looks cool and calm
while doing that in real life. I've never screamed so
much in my life. Three people sat inside the helicopter.
They all exchanged confused looks when they saw him. Wait,
who are you one of the masked You're not the
guy we're supposed to help escape? Our gu and smell
(15:00):
like he's best friends with a rotten egg. At least
they were nice enough not to lower him back down
into the alley. Instead, the bad guys landed in the
middle of a schoolyard and shoot him out of the helicopter.
Go learn something, kid, Maybe then you won't end up
like us and think about taking a bath. Silly bad guys,
thought Wesley. Don't they know there's no school on Saturday.
(15:24):
The helicopter crooks flew off, leaving Wesley alone with a
new problem. As long as he's still stunk, which he
still didn't necessarily agree that he did, the bath place
would always be able to track him down. But that
little mix up in the helicopter gave him an idea.
If those crooks mistook him for someone else, maybe he
could fool the bath police too. What if the kid
(15:44):
they were after suddenly didn't look or smell anything like
what they expected. What if he disguised himself as a
kid who didn't give off the impression that he might
be hiding moldy cheese in his bed. Wesley knew exactly
what to do. He ran to the school and slipped
inside through an open window. He could have then gone
straight to the costume room, behind the stage in the auditorium,
(16:05):
where he'd be able to find any costume you could
think of. He could dress up as a donkey with
a pink tutu or a guy from the eighteen hundreds
with an old timey mustache, but that wasn't the kind
of disguise he was thinking about. Wesley needed something that
would truly fool the Bath police, something no ordinary costume
could provide, something you could only find in the janitor's closet.
(16:27):
As he opened the door, he saw everything he needed.
A mop and bucket, some rags, and a scrub brush.
Wesley worked on his disguise for close to an hour.
He was taking it very seriously. After all, there was
a lot at stake here. When he finished, he decided
to put his disguise to the test. After a quick search,
(16:48):
made easy by the quacking sound of the rubber duckiumobile,
he found them. The three Bath police were standing on
the sidewalk sniffing the air. Wesley walked right past them
and they didn't say anything. Perfect He then turned around
and walked past them again. This time Officer Soap clearly
looked at him and still didn't say anything. The third
(17:09):
time around, He even tried speaking to them. Beautiful day today,
isn't it? Bath Police say? Can I help you guys
find someone? Not sure who you're looking for, but if
it's a guy named Wesley, then that's not me. My
name is Frizzly, a guy who smells like school soap
(17:29):
and has really clean skin. Now these officers may have
been easy to fool the first two times, but this
was like begging to be caught. Oh Wesley, that is you.
We didn't smell you coming, nor did we recognize you.
You look so clean, and you smell so fresh. Maybe
not as fresh as our two and one row scented
(17:50):
shampoo and conditioner, but still pretty decent. Wesley was looking
sly not bad, eh, Bath Police. After a chase like
the one we've had ye today, I bet you I've
been your toughest case yet, am I right? The officers
looked at each other before answering, well, this has definitely
been our weirdest case. We spent all day chasing you
(18:12):
to get clean, and you just went ahead and did
it yourself. Wesley was trying to figure something out. So
does this mean I win? You're not going to try
and spray me with the tub water. Officer Water shrugged, well,
I guess we don't have to. Now, looks like you're
free to go home. The officers looked like they could
use a bath too, had they gone and jumped in
(18:34):
that muddy puddle. After Wesley had flown away in the helicopter,
Officer Soap had one last question, So Wesley, why did
you do it? Why did you take a bath? In
the end, Wesley laughed, I didn't take a bath. I'll
never take a bath. Cold water feels weird on my skin.
I don't know how you people do it. I used
a scrubrush and a bucket of water from the janitor's closet,
(18:56):
which I stuck in the microwave to make it warm.
The officer was almost afraid to ask, Wesley, are you
telling me this? Whole time you thought everyone has been
taking cold baths? You do realize you don't have to
microwave water? Right? Literally every single tap has a hot
and cold Wesley had to think about that. Huh, isn't
(19:18):
that interesting? A warm bath sounds kind of nice, actually,
especially with extra bubbles, maybe the perfect thing after a
long day of playing chase officers. I think I might
go home and try my first official bath, A warm bath.
Rub a dub dub am, I right, rub a dub dub,
answered the officers with a smile. They were just happy
(19:39):
to know that he was going home to have a
bath because they were almost certain the brush he had
used to wash his skin was the toilet brush. The end.
That's the story, and here is your question of the week.
What is something you try to avoid doing even though
(20:01):
it might be something good for you. Thanks to Wesley
for letting me use his name in today's story, and
shout out to the following listeners. Oscar Willis from England,
Nathan Mackenzie and Rupert from Vermont, Xavier, Eli and Brooke
from Altona, Australia, Lucas and Patrick from Sydney, Australia, Holly
and Jack from England, Summer and Ruby from Wanaka, New Zealand,
(20:25):
Anna and Lydia Spadero along with their dog Boomer and
their rabbit Honey Bunny from Tennessee, Porter, Jude and Milo
from Vancouver Island, and Daniel and Joe from Surrey. Thanks
so much for listening and I'll catch you on the
next one.
In today's episode, a story about a kid who refuses
to take a bath, even if someone were to offer
him a million dollars. Let's get into it, Helloll, story
time truly not a boring time, rab a standing You'll
be fine. Follow the whole storyline, Helloll story time, might
you have at least one time? Well, this is the
(00:25):
story of a kid who had never ever taken a bath,
not a regular bath, not a bubble bath, and perhaps
it goes without saying, not even a bird bath. Wesley
didn't do showers either. He wanted nothing to do with
any of that stuff. His poor parents had tried everything,
but even from the time he was a wee little baby,
he refused to take a bath. He would scream and
(00:48):
thrash his idy bitty baby legs and his teeny tiny
baby arms. All of the twisting and flailing made his
parents worry they might drop him, so they always gave up.
It didn't get any easier as he grew either. When
he was a toddler, his anti bath temper tantrums were
out of control. One time, while being carried to the tub,
he grabbed a hold of a towel rack and held
(01:08):
on for dear life. I'm not going in that tub.
I don't like tubs, and they don't like me. The
towel rack ended up being pulled right off the wall,
which then fell behind the toilet and cracked a pipe.
This caused water to start spraying everywhere. The entire room
was completely soaked, as were his parents, but Wesley escaped
just in time and had stayed completely dry. His parents
(01:32):
did everything they could to make bath time more exciting.
They even made up a little song that went, tubs
are fun, tubs are cool. It's basically just a mini
swimming pool. But Wesley didn't care for that tune, and
he definitely didn't care for their attempts to lure him
into the tub with fancy bath toys. But check it out, son,
This is a limited edition eighteen care gold plated rubber
(01:55):
ducky with a ceramic beak that lights up. How can
you say no to a bath toy like that? But
Wesley had always told him he wouldn't even do it
for a million dollars. And even though his temper tantrums
went away as he grew older, well now he had
something else. Excuses. Sorry, guys, I just don't have time
to take a bath right now. I'm just so busy,
(02:15):
you know, Wesley, You're not busy. You're lying on the
couch throwing a ball in the air. Sometimes these people
made no sense to Wesley. Well, mom, the ball's not
gonna throw itself. I have to see if I can
beat my record of eighty three consecutive catches. Besides, haven't
I told you before that I'm not really a bath
guy or a shower guy. And this kid was not
(02:39):
the kind of person you could easily trick. No, I'm
not going to come give you a hug while you're
holding a garden hose. No, I don't want to go
to the swimming pool with you today. Pools are basically
just giant bathtubs. And don't get me started on beaches.
The beach is just nature's bathtub. Wesley's parents eventually had
to sit him down for a difficult conversation. Wesley, you
(03:02):
know we love you, right, but there's no bath thing.
It's gotta stop. There's no need for it. Good hygiene
is important. Wesley obviously didn't think so hygiene Shmi Gene.
I'll tell you what's really important. Robots that can do backflips, Like,
how can you even think about giving someone a bath
at a time like this, when we still haven't figured
out how to get robots to do a backflip. Wesley's
(03:24):
mother gave his father a subtle nod. The thing is, Wesley,
you stink. Okay, no child wants to hear that from
their parents, but it's true. You're absolutely filthy. Look at
your skin. You have layers upon layers of dirt. The
old dirt has started their own families. Some of the
dirt is probably expecting grandchildren. It's just not healthy. Wesley
(03:46):
took a whiff of his armpit. I mean, I suppose
it smells a little bit ripe, but it's kind of
got character. Do we really want to live in a
world where everyone smells the same? And come on, it's
not like I've heard anyone complain about it before. Wesley's
mother had a hard time believing that. Wesley, your friends
and classmates have all been wearing nose plugs around you
(04:07):
since the first grade. Why do you think your teacher
has forty seven different types of air fresheners in your classroom?
Wesley shrugged. I just thought she really liked air fresheners.
But can we not all agree that those things smell
so much worse. At least my scent is natural. At
this point, Wesley's parents were left with no other choice.
There was only one thing left to try, the thing
(04:29):
reserved for the most desperate of parents. Wesley. I'm so sorry,
but your father and I are going to have to
call the bath police on you. We never wanted it
to come to this, but we need to get you
fresh and clean instead of trembling and cowering in fear.
Wesley snorted, bath police, Yeah right, that's not a thing.
(04:49):
You might have been able to scare me with that
when I was younger, but I'm too old to fall
for that now. But Wesley's parents weren't bluffing. They got
on the phone straight away. Hello bath Police. Yeah, Hi,
I've got a child here that won't take a bath
and he stinks. After hanging up the phone, she turned
to Wesley and said the bath police said they're on
(05:09):
their way. Wesley stood up and started walking to his bedroom,
laughing the whole way. Twenty minutes later, there was a
loud knock at the door. Bath police. Oh, thank you
so much for coming, said Wesley's mother as she answered
the door. We didn't know who else to call. You
call the right people. This is what we do now, Please,
(05:31):
how long has it been since the suspecting question has
taken a bath? Are we talking one week? Two weeks?
A month? Wesley's mother started to square him. Try never, never,
repeated the officer, as in never ever, as in your
boy has never ever taken a bath in his entire life.
(05:51):
The man turned to the other two officers standing next
to him, Guys, I think we might be in for
our toughest case yet, but this is the kind of
thing we've been training for or Wesley had been quietly
watching this interaction through the small opening in his bedroom door.
At first, it looked like his parents were talking to
three of the ghostbusters, but after a closer look, it
was clear these people weren't here for ghosts. Instead of
(06:14):
proton packs, each officer wore a different kind of specialized backpack.
The guy with water written across his uniform had a
clear plastic jug strapped to his back. It connected to
a spray nozzle that was holstered at his belt. The
woman standing next to him had soap printed across hers.
On her back were two separate containers, one Wesley guest
(06:35):
held shampoo and the other soap or was one of
them conditioner. Maybe the shampoo was a two in one
to save on space. The third officer had dry printed
across his chest. Strapped to his back was what Wesley
decided might be the world's largest and most powerful blow dryer.
Wesley's dad was practically drooling as he imagined using it
(06:56):
to blast all of the fall leaves into the neighbor's yard.
All three officers wore badges shaped like rubber duckies, and
even their hats had shiny yellow duck emblems. Wesley flung
his door open and sprung out into the hallway. So
they do exist. This is gonna be so cool. I've
seen so many police chases in the movies, and I've
(07:16):
always wondered what it might feel like to be in
one of them. I can picture it now, Sliding down firescapes,
leaping across rooftops, hiding inside of dumpsters while the police
look around and say, hey, what happened to the kid?
I thought he went this way? The officers looked up
at Wesley on the second floor. Of course, a kid
as filthy as him would think about hiding in a dumpster.
(07:40):
Wesley's parents never would have guessed their son would be
excited about having the Bath police after him. Wesley, this
isn't supposed to be fun. You're not supposed to be
enjoying this. Being chased by the police. Bath Police is
not a good thing. You come down here this instant,
Wesley decided that sliding down the drain pipe outside of
his bedroom window and makeing a run for it was
(08:01):
a much better choice. The officers started to make their move,
but then held back for a moment to give Wesley's
parents some reassurance. We just want you to know your
boy will be fine. Our water sprayers and blow dryers
are always set to the lowest and most gentle settings,
and our shampoo uses a special no tears formula. We'll
have your son back home before at the end of
(08:21):
the day, smelling like a bouquet of roses. But what
about his clothes, asked Wesley's mother. He'll be getting washed
with his clothes on, ma'am, unless your boy has a
habit of running around the city naked. The officer then
turned to the other two officer Soap officer dry, it's
time to rub a dub dub. The officers all put
(08:43):
their fists together and repeated the slogan rub a dub dub.
The bath place moved quickly, and it didn't take long
to start gaining on Wesley. It also helped that they
were traveling in a zippy little three person rubber ducky
on wheels. I see the boy up ahead, called out
the officer who was driving. The one sitting in the
middle said, and I can smell him too, pee you.
(09:05):
Wesley was enjoying every minute of it. What a thrill
to be a stinky fugitive on the run. But simply
running wasn't enough. He felt compelled to add all sorts
of fancy maneuvers, Like the parked car in his path.
He easily could have run around it, but instead he
climbed straight over the hood and finished with a nifty
little tuck 'n' roll landing. Hey, some kid just wiped
(09:27):
dirt all over my car. I just had a wash
this morning. A little further along, he slipped into someone's
back yard. He could have run under the clothes line
without even ducking, yet for some reason, he grabbed a hold,
swung himself around three full times, and then flung himself
through the air. Like a gymnast, but shouting coming through
move out of the way while sprinting across an empty
(09:50):
parking lot. Well, that one made the least amount of
sense the officers were gaining. The one with the water
pack unholstered his sprayer and took aim. Just a little
bit closer and I'll be able to squirt the little fellow.
Acting fast, Wesley darted in front of an older woman
walking along the sidewalk. The spray missed Wesley entirely, but
(10:10):
completely covered the woman. She spun around and glared at
the man in the rubber duckymobile, who himself looked even
more shocked than she did. At first, she was furious,
but then she caught a sight of officer soap. Oh,
is that a floral shampoo? I love when my hair
smells like roses. And since you already ruined my curls,
(10:32):
you may as well finish the job. Ten minutes later,
the old woman was squeaky clean. Wesley, meanwhile, was long gone.
Ah man, he could be anywhere by now. Officers back
in the rubber duckymobile, it's time to rubb a dub dub.
Knowing he was no match for the speed of the
Rubber duckymobile, Wesley had taken to the rooftops. Some of
(10:55):
the best chase scenes in his favorite movies happened up there,
and now he was finally about to his first ever
roof jump. But as he prepared to leap to the
next building, he froze, WHOA, that is a very large gap,
and that is an awfully long way down. There is
no way anyone would do that in real life. You
could never stack enough fluffy pillows and marshmallows down there
(11:17):
to make me even consider it. He also realized it
was a strange thing to attempt when no one was
even chasing him up on the roof After all that
build up, he simply turned around and went back inside
the building. When he was back on the street, Wesley
searched for a store he could hide inside it for
a little while. He realized he'd made a huge mistake
the moment he walked into the first one. Ah, gross,
(11:40):
what is this place? Is this some kind of joke?
Do you people work for them? Is this a trap?
The salespeople and customers all turned around and stared at him.
Everywhere he looked, all he could see were tubs, big tubs,
little tubs, blue tubs, white tubs. He had somehow failed
to notice the sign out front that said, you people
(12:02):
should be ashamed of yourselves for selling this stuff. Absolutely ashamed.
Have you no sense of decency? He bolted at the
back door and into an alleyway, where he felt so
much better. The alley was dirty and grimy and had
four full sized garbage dumpsters lined up in a row.
He was about to climb into one of them when
he heard the screech of tires. At the far end
(12:23):
of the alley, he saw the rubber duckymobile. The officers
were already sprinting toward him. Even if you tried to
run the other way, he wouldn't get far. A chain
link fence blocked the exit, and he absolutely refused to
climb many more fences after the time, one tore a
huge hole in his pants. Getting his ball back from
the other side of the fence had not been worth
half the school getting a peek at his underwear. Stay back,
(12:45):
don't come any closer, or I'll jump into this muddy puddle.
The bathplace stopped in their tracks as soon as they
saw the puddle at the edge of Wesley's toes. He
was as wide and long as a pretty big stick
and as deep as a soda can. Come on, kid,
you don't want to do this. That puddle water isn't clean.
It looks like chocolate milk. Wesley inch closer to prove
(13:09):
he wasn't messing around. Kid, Please, you have so many
reasons not to get any dirtier. It doesn't have to
be like this. You can be clean. Let us help
you from somewhere deep inside a little piece of toddler.
Wesley crept out, But I don't wantna take a bath.
The officers edged forward slowly. Kid. We found you here
(13:32):
because we could literally smell you from a mile away.
Even if you escape, we'll still track you down and
come on, look around. There's nowhere left to run. Let
us help you. We can have you smelling like roses
instead of a kid who got into a fight with us. Skunk.
He wasn't wrong, even if Wesley jumped into the puddle
and made himself dirtier than what kid, This isn't like
(13:54):
the movies. A helicopter isn't just gonna drop you a
rope and help you escape. The off or really shouldn't
have said that. The guy totally jingxed it right on cue.
They all looked up as the sound of a helicopter
thundered overhead, and just like in the movies, a rope
ladder dropped down, stopping right above Wesley's head. It seemed
he was being rescued. Sorry, guys, I'd love to stay
(14:18):
in chat, but I've got an epic escape to make.
Wesley was already high above the city by the time
he climbed off the rope ladder into the helicopter. His
heart was pounding a mile a minute. Oh wow, that
was absolutely terrifying. My knuckles were turning white from holding
the rope so tight. How do people in the movies
hang from a ladder with one hand while waving at
(14:39):
the police detectives with a briefcase full of jewels in
the other. There's no way anyone looks cool and calm
while doing that in real life. I've never screamed so
much in my life. Three people sat inside the helicopter.
They all exchanged confused looks when they saw him. Wait,
who are you one of the masked You're not the
guy we're supposed to help escape? Our gu and smell
(15:00):
like he's best friends with a rotten egg. At least
they were nice enough not to lower him back down
into the alley. Instead, the bad guys landed in the
middle of a schoolyard and shoot him out of the helicopter.
Go learn something, kid, Maybe then you won't end up
like us and think about taking a bath. Silly bad guys,
thought Wesley. Don't they know there's no school on Saturday.
(15:24):
The helicopter crooks flew off, leaving Wesley alone with a
new problem. As long as he's still stunk, which he
still didn't necessarily agree that he did, the bath place
would always be able to track him down. But that
little mix up in the helicopter gave him an idea.
If those crooks mistook him for someone else, maybe he
could fool the bath police too. What if the kid
(15:44):
they were after suddenly didn't look or smell anything like
what they expected. What if he disguised himself as a
kid who didn't give off the impression that he might
be hiding moldy cheese in his bed. Wesley knew exactly
what to do. He ran to the school and slipped
inside through an open window. He could have then gone
straight to the costume room, behind the stage in the auditorium,
(16:05):
where he'd be able to find any costume you could
think of. He could dress up as a donkey with
a pink tutu or a guy from the eighteen hundreds
with an old timey mustache, but that wasn't the kind
of disguise he was thinking about. Wesley needed something that
would truly fool the Bath police, something no ordinary costume
could provide, something you could only find in the janitor's closet.
(16:27):
As he opened the door, he saw everything he needed.
A mop and bucket, some rags, and a scrub brush.
Wesley worked on his disguise for close to an hour.
He was taking it very seriously. After all, there was
a lot at stake here. When he finished, he decided
to put his disguise to the test. After a quick search,
(16:48):
made easy by the quacking sound of the rubber duckiumobile,
he found them. The three Bath police were standing on
the sidewalk sniffing the air. Wesley walked right past them
and they didn't say anything. Perfect He then turned around
and walked past them again. This time Officer Soap clearly
looked at him and still didn't say anything. The third
(17:09):
time around, He even tried speaking to them. Beautiful day today,
isn't it? Bath Police say? Can I help you guys
find someone? Not sure who you're looking for, but if
it's a guy named Wesley, then that's not me. My
name is Frizzly, a guy who smells like school soap
(17:29):
and has really clean skin. Now these officers may have
been easy to fool the first two times, but this
was like begging to be caught. Oh Wesley, that is you.
We didn't smell you coming, nor did we recognize you.
You look so clean, and you smell so fresh. Maybe
not as fresh as our two and one row scented
(17:50):
shampoo and conditioner, but still pretty decent. Wesley was looking
sly not bad, eh, Bath Police. After a chase like
the one we've had ye today, I bet you I've
been your toughest case yet, am I right? The officers
looked at each other before answering, well, this has definitely
been our weirdest case. We spent all day chasing you
(18:12):
to get clean, and you just went ahead and did
it yourself. Wesley was trying to figure something out. So
does this mean I win? You're not going to try
and spray me with the tub water. Officer Water shrugged, well,
I guess we don't have to. Now, looks like you're
free to go home. The officers looked like they could
use a bath too, had they gone and jumped in
(18:34):
that muddy puddle. After Wesley had flown away in the helicopter,
Officer Soap had one last question, So Wesley, why did
you do it? Why did you take a bath? In
the end, Wesley laughed, I didn't take a bath. I'll
never take a bath. Cold water feels weird on my skin.
I don't know how you people do it. I used
a scrubrush and a bucket of water from the janitor's closet,
(18:56):
which I stuck in the microwave to make it warm.
The officer was almost afraid to ask, Wesley, are you
telling me this? Whole time you thought everyone has been
taking cold baths? You do realize you don't have to
microwave water? Right? Literally every single tap has a hot
and cold Wesley had to think about that. Huh, isn't
(19:18):
that interesting? A warm bath sounds kind of nice, actually,
especially with extra bubbles, maybe the perfect thing after a
long day of playing chase officers. I think I might
go home and try my first official bath, A warm bath.
Rub a dub dub am, I right, rub a dub dub,
answered the officers with a smile. They were just happy
(19:39):
to know that he was going home to have a
bath because they were almost certain the brush he had
used to wash his skin was the toilet brush. The end.
That's the story, and here is your question of the week.
What is something you try to avoid doing even though
(20:01):
it might be something good for you. Thanks to Wesley
for letting me use his name in today's story, and
shout out to the following listeners. Oscar Willis from England,
Nathan Mackenzie and Rupert from Vermont, Xavier, Eli and Brooke
from Altona, Australia, Lucas and Patrick from Sydney, Australia, Holly
and Jack from England, Summer and Ruby from Wanaka, New Zealand,
(20:25):
Anna and Lydia Spadero along with their dog Boomer and
their rabbit Honey Bunny from Tennessee, Porter, Jude and Milo
from Vancouver Island, and Daniel and Joe from Surrey. Thanks
so much for listening and I'll catch you on the
next one.
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