December 15, 2025 • 21 mins
Listen Ad-free with PREMIUM
In this silly story, Oliver can speak two different languages. His friends are all very impressed, until a new girl shows up, who can speak 4 different languages. Oliver goes from feeling special, to... not so special. But he's about to really turn some heads when he discovers there is another language he can speak. A language that might include a woof or two.
To see if the shout-out list is open, visit: lolstorytime.com/shoutouts
In this silly story, Oliver can speak two different languages. His friends are all very impressed, until a new girl shows up, who can speak 4 different languages. Oliver goes from feeling special, to... not so special. But he's about to really turn some heads when he discovers there is another language he can speak. A language that might include a woof or two.
To see if the shout-out list is open, visit: lolstorytime.com/shoutouts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
In today's episode, a story about a kid who can
speak with dogs that can't be right. Well, let's get
into it.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hellol story Time is really not a glory time Rabi station.
You'll be fine. Follow the whole storyline. Hello, el story
Time mad you at least one time time.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
This is the story of the words that come out
of our mouths. And I'm not talking about the rude words,
shame on you. I'm talking about all the words that
come out of our mouths, which I suppose also includes
the rude words, So I guess you. In Oliver was
a boy who could speak more than one language. He
was fluent in both English and Spanish. His friends, however,
(00:45):
could only speak one language and at best maybe five
words in a second language. Everyone always seems so impressed
that Oliver could speak two languages. They were always making
such a big deal out of it.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hey, did you know my friend Oliver can speak two
different language?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yels, Wow, that's really something. But he probably only knows
five words in the second language.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Right, Nope, my friend Oliver knows all the words in
both languages.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It didn't seem like a big deal to Oliver. He'd
been speaking two languages since he first learned to talk,
so to him it just felt normal, but to his friends,
it was like he was some kind of super genius. Hey, Oliver,
show my cousin here what you can do? Say some stuff?
Being asked to say some stuff happened to Oliver quite
a lot, so much so that he had many times
(01:36):
considered preparing a short script he could recite any time
he was put on the spot like.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
This, Uh, well, what would you like me to say?
He would usually have to ask, I don't know some stuff.
Just say anything. My cousin's gonna love it.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
But no matter what Oliver would come up with, it
was never actually what they wanted to hear.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
How about you just tell us how to say farty
mcfhart pants. Oh, and what's the word for bump crack?
Also is coco frufu blah blah woo woo our real word.
The attention he received was a little weird at times,
but he also kind of enjoyed it. Knowing he could
do something none of his friends could do made him
feel rather special. But then one day a new kid
(02:17):
arrived at school who made Oliver feel well, not so special. Hey,
new kid, come be my friend, Oliver he speaks two languages.
The new kid, whose name was Dara, seemed very interested.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Two languages. Way to go, Oliver, and are we talking
like more than five words in both languages? Oliver's friend
proudly answered, on Oliver's behalf, we're talking all the words
in both languages. This guy is the real deal. His
second language isn't even made up, not like the time
I tried to invent a language using a bunch of
words that just sounded like someone blowing their nose. Dara smiled,
(02:55):
but she didn't look as impressed as Oliver's friend had
expected her to look.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Now, I also.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Speak more than one language, she began, I speak English, Spanish, Japanese,
and Arabic. Well, Oliver's friend hadn't seen that one coming.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh, four languages. But we're talking like only five words,
and three of them right. Dara shook her head and
gave a little smirk.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Nope, we're talking all the words in all four languages.
If you like, I could show you I always have
a little thing prepared for moments like these, because I
could ask this a lot. Oliver's friends were normally also
proud of what he could do. Now it was as
if they were disappointed in them. It was like they
had just found out the best player on their hockey
team didn't even know how to skate backwards. When Oliver
(03:43):
got home that day, he asked his mother straight up, Mom,
do you think I'm special because I speak two languages?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Oh? Absolutely? You were so special?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Would you still think I was special if I only
spoke one language?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Absolutely? Oliver? What a special that's a little guy. And
what if I only knew five words in just one language?
Oh yeah, Oliver, still so special? Okay, then what if
I spoke zero languages? Oliver? To me, you would still
be the most special guy in the whole wide world.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oliver looked at his mother's sideways. Okay, well, clearly I've
asked the wrong person, now, heaven't I.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
He knew deep down that.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
He should just let it go. This wasn't something worth
getting upset over. He was no different than before Dara
had shown up, and he knew he shouldn't compare himself
to others. But how cool would it be if he
spoke four languages?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
The answer? Pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So the next day at school, Oliver said something to
his friend and made sure to say it loudly enough.
For everyone to hear it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
So I started learning a new language last night. That's right,
language number three. Here we come, just like Oliver wanted.
Dara began walking over tank for her. You started studying
a new language. That's great.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
What language are you learning? Oliver told her he was
learning to speak Italian. Great choice, beautiful language. Oliver had
a feeling she would be impressed, and his friends looked
impressed too, until they asked him to say something in Italian.
Uh say something? Oh yeah, for sure, of course say something.
(05:25):
I can do that, all right, it's a me a mario.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
No one looked impressed anymore. Well you did say you
only just started, said Dara. But I guess you still
have some work to do before you get your first
five words. And then Dara went on to tell Oliver
and everyone else that she had just started working on
her fifth language. She was already up to one hundred words,
and she'd learned all of them just by watching movies.
(05:53):
Well two can play that game, thought Oliver. But when
he sat down to watch an Italian movie that night,
he could follow anything. Ah, stop speaking so fast? What
did that guy say? Did anyone catch that? How do
you pause this thing? Is there a slow motion setting?
Oh I missed that too. What did that word mean?
What is going on?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Is this movie about spaghetti or what? So when that
plan didn't work, he asked his mother if she could
sign him up for lessons.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
You want me to sign you up for lessons so
you can learn how to speak Italian? Oliver nodded his head, son,
do you remember when you asked me to sign you
up for music lessons? Last I checked, your guitar was
buried somewhere in your closet with the price tag still attached.
Oliver thought about all the guitar lessons he had missed.
Then he thought about Dara and how she could probably
(06:42):
play the guitar, the piano, and the harmonica all while
standing on her head. He was beginning to wish he
had never told anyone that he was trying to learn
a third language. What if he just couldn't figure this
one out. What if you couldn't even figure out more
than five words in this new language, The kids at
school would really think he was a dud. In the morning,
it felt like the universe was really trying to rub
(07:04):
it into his face just how good this Dara girl was.
While walking to school. He saw Dara run past.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Oh Man thought, Oliver, this girl can speak four and
a half languages and she's a better runner than me.
What is this girl not good at? But a moment later,
Oliver realized why Dara had been running so fast. A
huge dog bolted past and was right on her heels. Help,
cried Dara. This dog won't leave me alone. Oliver remembered
(07:33):
something similar happening to him. In his case, the dog
just wanted the overcooked park shop he had tried to
hide in his pocket the night before.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Empty your pockets, hollered, Oliver, what called back, Dara? Your pockets?
The dog smells something good in your pockets.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Oliver watched as Dara reached into her pocket and pulled
out a half eaten breakfast bar. She immediately tossed it
behind her. The dog stopped chasing Dara and directed all
his attention to the piece of food on the ground.
When Oliver finally caught up to Dara, he was breathing heavily.
He insisted he was normally a much faster runner and
totally could have caught up to her sooner if he
had wanted to. Oliver, thank you, you just saved me
(08:17):
from that dog. I can't believe you knew exactly what
he wanted. That was brilliant. Dark kept going on and
on about it at school that morning. She told everyone
who would listen. All I could hear was this dog
barking at me. But it was like Oliver knew what
it was saying or something. Dara could not get over it,
but Oliver's best friend acted like this was all perfectly normal.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well, that's Oliver for you. He's pretty good with languages.
It's not surprising that he speaks dog too. Oliver looked
at his friend in disbelief. What was this guy talking about? Hey,
I don't speak dog. That's not a thing. Oliver was
quite certain he could speak English, Spanish, in three words
of Italian. But dog, you no?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Dara, would you please tell my friend here that speaking
dog is not a thing. Oliver figured someone who spoke
close to five different languages wouldn't know better, But Dara said,
you know, I think you're right. Oliver does speak dog.
He knew what those words meant.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
To me. It just sounded like woofulfoof woofulfuff. But to
Oliver it sounded like empty out your pockets and give
me your snack. Now.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Oliver was already embarrassed enough before finding out his teacher
had been listening.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Oliver, you know how to speak dog awesome stuff. Would
you mind talking to my dog for me? He keeps
bugging me about something and I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Their teacher actually brought his dog to school the next day.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
See, he kind of does this thing where he comes
up to you and then he leans on you and
says ah rah rah rah rah rah. But I can't
understand what he's trying to say.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oliver remembered his uncle Elmer's dog doing something that sounded
like that. Usually a little rub behind the ears would
do the trick, Sir, I think he's trying to say
the he wants you to scratch him behind the ears.
The teacher gave it a try. Within seconds, his dog
settled and led it a big sigh.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Wow. Thanks for listening to my dog, Oliver. Now, can
you please tell him I'm sorry for spilling kibble and
his bowl of water this morning. I don't think he
cares too much for soggy kibble.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It was already strange enough to be asked to listen
to a dog. Now he was expected to talk to
them too. Well, what else could he really do but
give it a try. He knelt down close.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
To the dog.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Uh Ru ru rah rue, he said to the dog,
without a whole lot of confidence whether the dog understood
him or not. Oliver had just blown people's minds. Forget
that he knew how to speak English, Spanish, in three
words of Italian. This boy knew how to speak dog.
It was even more impressive than Dara knowing close to
five languages. Oliver felt special again, and he liked that,
(10:52):
you know, aslide from the one small detail of him
not actually speaking dog. Yet, he now had loads of
people bringing their dogs to speak with him, and somehow
he just knew what these dogs were trying to say.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Oliver, my dog keeps barking at the door when he
has to go pee. What do you think he's saying? Uh?
Sounds like he's telling you he wants to go pee. Oliver.
My dog always whimpers when I have to go to work.
What is she trying to tell me? She's trying to
tell you she wishes you could stay, Oliver. Sometimes my
(11:24):
dog chases his own tail. Do you think that's his
way of saying he thinks I should buy myself some
diamond earrings and new heels, because I'll do it. Just
say the words and I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Most of the time, Oliver didn't even have to listen
to the barks he just knew. But even though he
helped countless confuse dog owners, he soon found out that
not everyone appreciated him talking to dogs. One day, a
huge dog started chasing Oliver, even though he kept trying
to show the dog that his pockets were empty. There
he was running down the street with the insides of
his pockets flapping about, with him screaming.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I've got nothing, I've got nothing, But the.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Dog didn't let up until he had pinned Oliver to
the ground. The dog didn't bark or growl, and much
to Oliver's relief, he didn't lick his face either, But
the dog did speak to him.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Hey, you, word's been getting around that there's this kid
who knows how to speak dog. Would that kid happen
to be you?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Oliver was very confused. Was he understanding what the dog
was saying because he truly did speak dog, or did
this dog somehow know how to speak people?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Uh? Yeah, I think I'm the guy you're looking for.
But if I'm being honest, I barely know more than
five dog words, and even that's probably a stretch. The
dog firmly pressed his paws down on Oliver's chest to
show him that he didn't care for funny business. Listen,
those dogs don't need people knowing that it's possible to
learn how to speak dog. We had a good thing
(12:48):
going when people thought barks were barks and wolfs were
just wolfs. We also don't need them knowing that we
know how to speak people either. Sometimes we like to
pretend that we don't know what you people are saying,
Like if I want to sniff another dog's but I
want to be able to act like I don't understand
my owner when he says, stop sniffing that other dogs.
But you know what I mean. So here's what you're
(13:08):
gonna do for us. You're gonna stop talking to the dogs.
Oliver wanted to make sure he understood something. So I
do have a few questions, But are we like starting
this right now because I'm technically still speaking with the
dogs since I'm talking to you, Would it help if
I emailed you my questions or does that still count
as talking. The dog didn't answer, It removed its pause
(13:30):
from Oliver's chest and walked away, showing off its best
tough guy strut. What a weird exchange, thought Oliver. But
since he had never really understood how to speak dog
in the first place, he supposed it would be easy
to stop pretending. The next day, someone came asking for
Oliver's help. Hey, Oliver, my dog's been acting kind of
strange lately. Can you come talk to him for me?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oliver knew exactly how to get out of this one.
Oh sorry, I don't speak dog anymore. The person and
asking for help scratch their head.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
You don't how does someone suddenly stop speaking a language?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Oliver didn't need this person launching a deep dive investigation. Well,
you know, I just forgot all the words for the
entire language. That happens sometimes, But I wish you luck
figuring out whatever it was your dog was trying to
tell you. Just here clear of taking any dog lessons.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
They really do not like that, And although it seemed
puzzling to all of the other people who asked for help,
they really had little choice but to accept it. They
didn't know how the dog language worked. Maybe you could
learn the whole language, only to completely forget it the
very next day. There was one person, however, who was
not buying it, someone who knew a thing or two
about languages. Dara, Oliver, I need your help again. My
(14:48):
little brother has gone missing, and I think my dog
might know.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Where he is.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Oliver tried his usual line, Oh, I don't speak dog anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Dara didn't have time for this nonsense. She pinned Oliver
to the ground, much like the dog had done. You
still speak dog, you're just choosing not to now. I
don't know if it's because people are calling you little
Lord Whoofington, or maybe it's because you're tired of everyone
asking you for help. But listen here, Bob, Helping me
find my brother is a whole lot different than helping
some dog oiner find out that their dog doesn't like
(15:18):
shaking paws anymore. Okay, Oliver had not been aware that
people were calling him little Lord Woofington, but the real reason,
of course, was that he was no longer allowed to
speak dog, which was strange because he never actually spoke
dog in the first place, and now he was about
to look like the most inconsiderate kid alive have. He
told Dara he couldn't help her because he didn't like
being called little lord Whoofington.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
All right, i'll do it.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
I'll help you, but this is the last time I'm
talking to any dogs, and they need you to keep
quiet about it, okay. When they arrived at Dara's house,
Oliver asked if he could speak with her dog in private,
once alone. He knelt down in front of the dog.
All right, listen here, dog, I'm not supposed to be
talking to you right now, and I really hope you
don't mention this to the dog boss, but you and
(16:02):
I we need to talk. The dog just stared at
Oliver like it was waiting for something to happen. So
can you tell me where I can find Dara's brother?
The dog kept staring blankly. Oh, man, don't tell me
you never learned how to speak people. Yes, I'm gonna
have to try speaking your language. Then a roof roof, woof,
(16:23):
uh roof, roof, woof, roof woof. This got the dog's attention. Dude,
what are you even talking about? That made no sense.
You can't eat the clowns hamburger cheese. What I've seen
cats speak better? Dog than you just follow me, will you?
Oliver shrugged and did as he was told. On his
(16:44):
way at the door, he grabbed Dara by the arm
and pulled her along. The kids ran as fast as
they could, trying their best to keep up with the dog.
So what did he tell you, Dara asked. He said,
we need to follow him somewhere, and then he complimented
me on how good I am at speaking dog says
I'm one of the best.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
There ever was.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
They continued following Dara's dog alongside a babbling brook, when
out of nowhere, a big dog jumped in front of Oliver.
It was the same dog as before. Eh oh, this
isn't good, grumbled Oliver. Dara, you go on ahead, I'll
handle this, Dara went on, while the big dog moved closer.
Oh man, you really scared me there. Oliver then stopped himself,
(17:27):
realizing he wasn't supposed to be talking to dogs. He
then turned to a butterfly he was passing overhead. Did
you hear me, butterfly? You really scared me there. You
came in hot and that was not cool. The dog
growled he did not care for funny business.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Who's that dog? I saw you with Oh him, I'm
not really sure who that was? Was he?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Even a dog could have sworn he looked more like
a hedgehog. The big dog gave Oliver a suspicious look.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I've got my eye on you.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Oliver was that the dog left it at that, But
what was he supposed to do? If the dog kept
following him. Surely he would figure it out, and then
what would happen? Maybe Oliver could convince Dara that the
evil butterfly had zapped his brain and sucked out all
of his dog speaking abilities. That didn't seem too far fetched,
But when he caught up with Dara, she wasn't even
with her dog. Dara, where did you go?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
She turned to Oliver. Hey, I just found out my
brother Timmy fell into a well. Well. This was strange.
Did her dog tell her that? Did she suddenly figure
out how to speak dog?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
It wouldn't exactly be surprising knowing this girl, Dara, But
where is your dog? Don't tell me he fell into
the well too. Dara told him that her dog had
run off chasing a squirrel, leaving her no choice but
to ask a cat. The cat told her about a
boy who had fallen into a well her brother Timmy.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Did I not mention.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
To you that I speak cat?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
She asked.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I'm not really supposed to anymore, since one of them
got me in trouble for it, but I figured desperate
times call for desperate measures. Just don't tell anyone, okay,
especially not the cat boss. Oliver helped Dara rescue her
brother from the well. The little guy was totally fine.
He barely had a scratch on him, and yet he
still made them by an entire box of Spider Man
(19:17):
band aids. The next morning, Darra swung by Oliver's house
before school to thank him once more. Oliver, You're a
pretty special guy, you know, And I'd still say that
even if you spoke zero languages. She then handed him
a package. Someone left this for you on your doorstep.
Oliver opened it up. Inside was a puppy dog costume.
(19:39):
Attached was a note, but the note just looked like
someone had scribbled all over it. How am I supposed
to read this, he asked Dara, showing her the note.
Dara somehow began reading it. As she did, Oliver could
hear the writer's voice. Dear little Lord Wolfington, I just
want you to know that I found out what you
did yesterday. I think it's pretty cool that you help
(20:02):
save some little boy from the will. You've got the
true spirit of a dog, but you also spoke dog
when you weren't supposed to speak dog, and for that,
I'm punishing you by making you wear this cute little
puppy dog costume to school for the rest of the week.
That said, don't be afraid to say hello next time
you see me. I don't bite signed.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
You know who.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Darra set the letter down without turning her head. She
could feel the look Oliver was giving her. It was
a look of shock, and not because he had just
found out he had to wear a puppy dog costume
for the rest of the week.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Haha. I said I couldn't speak dog. I never said
I couldn't read dog. Those wolfs all just sound the
same to me. So relaxed, little Lord Wuffington. It's not
a competition and you're still our special little guy. The end.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
That's the story, and here is your question of the week.
Which animal language would you most like to speak? Thanks
to Oliver and Dara for letting me use their names
in today's story, and shout out to the following listeners
Ameya Willis from England, Andrew Huong from Odessa, Texas, Cameron,
Maddie and Jordan from Denver, Colorado, Ila, and Sienna from Queensland, Australia,
(21:22):
Otto from England, Sam from Melbourne, Australia, Augie and Frankie
from New Jersey, Leo and Leo's puppy Bolt from Victoria, Australia,
and also Shore from Georgia along with her dog Mavvy.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And her really bad dog Rocket.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Thanks for listening and I'll catch you on the next one.
In today's episode, a story about a kid who can
speak with dogs that can't be right. Well, let's get
into it.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hellol story Time is really not a glory time Rabi station.
You'll be fine. Follow the whole storyline. Hello, el story
Time mad you at least one time time.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
This is the story of the words that come out
of our mouths. And I'm not talking about the rude words,
shame on you. I'm talking about all the words that
come out of our mouths, which I suppose also includes
the rude words, So I guess you. In Oliver was
a boy who could speak more than one language. He
was fluent in both English and Spanish. His friends, however,
(00:45):
could only speak one language and at best maybe five
words in a second language. Everyone always seems so impressed
that Oliver could speak two languages. They were always making
such a big deal out of it.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hey, did you know my friend Oliver can speak two
different language?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yels, Wow, that's really something. But he probably only knows
five words in the second language.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Right, Nope, my friend Oliver knows all the words in
both languages.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It didn't seem like a big deal to Oliver. He'd
been speaking two languages since he first learned to talk,
so to him it just felt normal, but to his friends,
it was like he was some kind of super genius. Hey, Oliver,
show my cousin here what you can do? Say some stuff?
Being asked to say some stuff happened to Oliver quite
a lot, so much so that he had many times
(01:36):
considered preparing a short script he could recite any time
he was put on the spot like.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
This, Uh, well, what would you like me to say?
He would usually have to ask, I don't know some stuff.
Just say anything. My cousin's gonna love it.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
But no matter what Oliver would come up with, it
was never actually what they wanted to hear.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
How about you just tell us how to say farty
mcfhart pants. Oh, and what's the word for bump crack?
Also is coco frufu blah blah woo woo our real word.
The attention he received was a little weird at times,
but he also kind of enjoyed it. Knowing he could
do something none of his friends could do made him
feel rather special. But then one day a new kid
(02:17):
arrived at school who made Oliver feel well, not so special. Hey,
new kid, come be my friend, Oliver he speaks two languages.
The new kid, whose name was Dara, seemed very interested.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Two languages. Way to go, Oliver, and are we talking
like more than five words in both languages? Oliver's friend
proudly answered, on Oliver's behalf, we're talking all the words
in both languages. This guy is the real deal. His
second language isn't even made up, not like the time
I tried to invent a language using a bunch of
words that just sounded like someone blowing their nose. Dara smiled,
(02:55):
but she didn't look as impressed as Oliver's friend had
expected her to look.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Now, I also.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Speak more than one language, she began, I speak English, Spanish, Japanese,
and Arabic. Well, Oliver's friend hadn't seen that one coming.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Oh, four languages. But we're talking like only five words,
and three of them right. Dara shook her head and
gave a little smirk.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Nope, we're talking all the words in all four languages.
If you like, I could show you I always have
a little thing prepared for moments like these, because I
could ask this a lot. Oliver's friends were normally also
proud of what he could do. Now it was as
if they were disappointed in them. It was like they
had just found out the best player on their hockey
team didn't even know how to skate backwards. When Oliver
(03:43):
got home that day, he asked his mother straight up, Mom,
do you think I'm special because I speak two languages?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Oh? Absolutely? You were so special?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Would you still think I was special if I only
spoke one language?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Absolutely? Oliver? What a special that's a little guy. And
what if I only knew five words in just one language?
Oh yeah, Oliver, still so special? Okay, then what if
I spoke zero languages? Oliver? To me, you would still
be the most special guy in the whole wide world.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Oliver looked at his mother's sideways. Okay, well, clearly I've
asked the wrong person, now, heaven't I.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
He knew deep down that.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
He should just let it go. This wasn't something worth
getting upset over. He was no different than before Dara
had shown up, and he knew he shouldn't compare himself
to others. But how cool would it be if he
spoke four languages?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
The answer? Pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So the next day at school, Oliver said something to
his friend and made sure to say it loudly enough.
For everyone to hear it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
So I started learning a new language last night. That's right,
language number three. Here we come, just like Oliver wanted.
Dara began walking over tank for her. You started studying
a new language. That's great.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
What language are you learning? Oliver told her he was
learning to speak Italian. Great choice, beautiful language. Oliver had
a feeling she would be impressed, and his friends looked
impressed too, until they asked him to say something in Italian.
Uh say something? Oh yeah, for sure, of course say something.
(05:25):
I can do that, all right, it's a me a mario.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
No one looked impressed anymore. Well you did say you
only just started, said Dara. But I guess you still
have some work to do before you get your first
five words. And then Dara went on to tell Oliver
and everyone else that she had just started working on
her fifth language. She was already up to one hundred words,
and she'd learned all of them just by watching movies.
(05:53):
Well two can play that game, thought Oliver. But when
he sat down to watch an Italian movie that night,
he could follow anything. Ah, stop speaking so fast? What
did that guy say? Did anyone catch that? How do
you pause this thing? Is there a slow motion setting?
Oh I missed that too. What did that word mean?
What is going on?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Is this movie about spaghetti or what? So when that
plan didn't work, he asked his mother if she could
sign him up for lessons.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
You want me to sign you up for lessons so
you can learn how to speak Italian? Oliver nodded his head, son,
do you remember when you asked me to sign you
up for music lessons? Last I checked, your guitar was
buried somewhere in your closet with the price tag still attached.
Oliver thought about all the guitar lessons he had missed.
Then he thought about Dara and how she could probably
(06:42):
play the guitar, the piano, and the harmonica all while
standing on her head. He was beginning to wish he
had never told anyone that he was trying to learn
a third language. What if he just couldn't figure this
one out. What if you couldn't even figure out more
than five words in this new language, The kids at
school would really think he was a dud. In the morning,
it felt like the universe was really trying to rub
(07:04):
it into his face just how good this Dara girl was.
While walking to school. He saw Dara run past.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Oh Man thought, Oliver, this girl can speak four and
a half languages and she's a better runner than me.
What is this girl not good at? But a moment later,
Oliver realized why Dara had been running so fast. A
huge dog bolted past and was right on her heels. Help,
cried Dara. This dog won't leave me alone. Oliver remembered
(07:33):
something similar happening to him. In his case, the dog
just wanted the overcooked park shop he had tried to
hide in his pocket the night before.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Empty your pockets, hollered, Oliver, what called back, Dara? Your pockets?
The dog smells something good in your pockets.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Oliver watched as Dara reached into her pocket and pulled
out a half eaten breakfast bar. She immediately tossed it
behind her. The dog stopped chasing Dara and directed all
his attention to the piece of food on the ground.
When Oliver finally caught up to Dara, he was breathing heavily.
He insisted he was normally a much faster runner and
totally could have caught up to her sooner if he
had wanted to. Oliver, thank you, you just saved me
(08:17):
from that dog. I can't believe you knew exactly what
he wanted. That was brilliant. Dark kept going on and
on about it at school that morning. She told everyone
who would listen. All I could hear was this dog
barking at me. But it was like Oliver knew what
it was saying or something. Dara could not get over it,
but Oliver's best friend acted like this was all perfectly normal.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Well, that's Oliver for you. He's pretty good with languages.
It's not surprising that he speaks dog too. Oliver looked
at his friend in disbelief. What was this guy talking about? Hey,
I don't speak dog. That's not a thing. Oliver was
quite certain he could speak English, Spanish, in three words
of Italian. But dog, you no?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Dara, would you please tell my friend here that speaking
dog is not a thing. Oliver figured someone who spoke
close to five different languages wouldn't know better, But Dara said,
you know, I think you're right. Oliver does speak dog.
He knew what those words meant.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
To me. It just sounded like woofulfoof woofulfuff. But to
Oliver it sounded like empty out your pockets and give
me your snack. Now.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Oliver was already embarrassed enough before finding out his teacher
had been listening.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Oliver, you know how to speak dog awesome stuff. Would
you mind talking to my dog for me? He keeps
bugging me about something and I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Their teacher actually brought his dog to school the next day.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
See, he kind of does this thing where he comes
up to you and then he leans on you and
says ah rah rah rah rah rah. But I can't
understand what he's trying to say.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Oliver remembered his uncle Elmer's dog doing something that sounded
like that. Usually a little rub behind the ears would
do the trick, Sir, I think he's trying to say
the he wants you to scratch him behind the ears.
The teacher gave it a try. Within seconds, his dog
settled and led it a big sigh.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Wow. Thanks for listening to my dog, Oliver. Now, can
you please tell him I'm sorry for spilling kibble and
his bowl of water this morning. I don't think he
cares too much for soggy kibble.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It was already strange enough to be asked to listen
to a dog. Now he was expected to talk to
them too. Well, what else could he really do but
give it a try. He knelt down close.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
To the dog.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Uh Ru ru rah rue, he said to the dog,
without a whole lot of confidence whether the dog understood
him or not. Oliver had just blown people's minds. Forget
that he knew how to speak English, Spanish, in three
words of Italian. This boy knew how to speak dog.
It was even more impressive than Dara knowing close to
five languages. Oliver felt special again, and he liked that,
(10:52):
you know, aslide from the one small detail of him
not actually speaking dog. Yet, he now had loads of
people bringing their dogs to speak with him, and somehow
he just knew what these dogs were trying to say.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Oliver, my dog keeps barking at the door when he
has to go pee. What do you think he's saying? Uh?
Sounds like he's telling you he wants to go pee. Oliver.
My dog always whimpers when I have to go to work.
What is she trying to tell me? She's trying to
tell you she wishes you could stay, Oliver. Sometimes my
(11:24):
dog chases his own tail. Do you think that's his
way of saying he thinks I should buy myself some
diamond earrings and new heels, because I'll do it. Just
say the words and I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Most of the time, Oliver didn't even have to listen
to the barks he just knew. But even though he
helped countless confuse dog owners, he soon found out that
not everyone appreciated him talking to dogs. One day, a
huge dog started chasing Oliver, even though he kept trying
to show the dog that his pockets were empty. There
he was running down the street with the insides of
his pockets flapping about, with him screaming.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I've got nothing, I've got nothing, But the.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Dog didn't let up until he had pinned Oliver to
the ground. The dog didn't bark or growl, and much
to Oliver's relief, he didn't lick his face either, But
the dog did speak to him.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Hey, you, word's been getting around that there's this kid
who knows how to speak dog. Would that kid happen
to be you?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Oliver was very confused. Was he understanding what the dog
was saying because he truly did speak dog, or did
this dog somehow know how to speak people?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Uh? Yeah, I think I'm the guy you're looking for.
But if I'm being honest, I barely know more than
five dog words, and even that's probably a stretch. The
dog firmly pressed his paws down on Oliver's chest to
show him that he didn't care for funny business. Listen,
those dogs don't need people knowing that it's possible to
learn how to speak dog. We had a good thing
(12:48):
going when people thought barks were barks and wolfs were
just wolfs. We also don't need them knowing that we
know how to speak people either. Sometimes we like to
pretend that we don't know what you people are saying,
Like if I want to sniff another dog's but I
want to be able to act like I don't understand
my owner when he says, stop sniffing that other dogs.
But you know what I mean. So here's what you're
(13:08):
gonna do for us. You're gonna stop talking to the dogs.
Oliver wanted to make sure he understood something. So I
do have a few questions, But are we like starting
this right now because I'm technically still speaking with the
dogs since I'm talking to you, Would it help if
I emailed you my questions or does that still count
as talking. The dog didn't answer, It removed its pause
(13:30):
from Oliver's chest and walked away, showing off its best
tough guy strut. What a weird exchange, thought Oliver. But
since he had never really understood how to speak dog
in the first place, he supposed it would be easy
to stop pretending. The next day, someone came asking for
Oliver's help. Hey, Oliver, my dog's been acting kind of
strange lately. Can you come talk to him for me?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oliver knew exactly how to get out of this one.
Oh sorry, I don't speak dog anymore. The person and
asking for help scratch their head.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
You don't how does someone suddenly stop speaking a language?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Oliver didn't need this person launching a deep dive investigation. Well,
you know, I just forgot all the words for the
entire language. That happens sometimes, But I wish you luck
figuring out whatever it was your dog was trying to
tell you. Just here clear of taking any dog lessons.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
They really do not like that, And although it seemed
puzzling to all of the other people who asked for help,
they really had little choice but to accept it. They
didn't know how the dog language worked. Maybe you could
learn the whole language, only to completely forget it the
very next day. There was one person, however, who was
not buying it, someone who knew a thing or two
about languages. Dara, Oliver, I need your help again. My
(14:48):
little brother has gone missing, and I think my dog
might know.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Where he is.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Oliver tried his usual line, Oh, I don't speak dog anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Dara didn't have time for this nonsense. She pinned Oliver
to the ground, much like the dog had done. You
still speak dog, you're just choosing not to now. I
don't know if it's because people are calling you little
Lord Whoofington, or maybe it's because you're tired of everyone
asking you for help. But listen here, Bob, Helping me
find my brother is a whole lot different than helping
some dog oiner find out that their dog doesn't like
(15:18):
shaking paws anymore. Okay, Oliver had not been aware that
people were calling him little Lord Woofington, but the real reason,
of course, was that he was no longer allowed to
speak dog, which was strange because he never actually spoke
dog in the first place, and now he was about
to look like the most inconsiderate kid alive have. He
told Dara he couldn't help her because he didn't like
being called little lord Whoofington.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
All right, i'll do it.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
I'll help you, but this is the last time I'm
talking to any dogs, and they need you to keep
quiet about it, okay. When they arrived at Dara's house,
Oliver asked if he could speak with her dog in private,
once alone. He knelt down in front of the dog.
All right, listen here, dog, I'm not supposed to be
talking to you right now, and I really hope you
don't mention this to the dog boss, but you and
(16:02):
I we need to talk. The dog just stared at
Oliver like it was waiting for something to happen. So
can you tell me where I can find Dara's brother?
The dog kept staring blankly. Oh, man, don't tell me
you never learned how to speak people. Yes, I'm gonna
have to try speaking your language. Then a roof roof, woof,
(16:23):
uh roof, roof, woof, roof woof. This got the dog's attention. Dude,
what are you even talking about? That made no sense.
You can't eat the clowns hamburger cheese. What I've seen
cats speak better? Dog than you just follow me, will you?
Oliver shrugged and did as he was told. On his
(16:44):
way at the door, he grabbed Dara by the arm
and pulled her along. The kids ran as fast as
they could, trying their best to keep up with the dog.
So what did he tell you, Dara asked. He said,
we need to follow him somewhere, and then he complimented
me on how good I am at speaking dog says
I'm one of the best.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
There ever was.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
They continued following Dara's dog alongside a babbling brook, when
out of nowhere, a big dog jumped in front of Oliver.
It was the same dog as before. Eh oh, this
isn't good, grumbled Oliver. Dara, you go on ahead, I'll
handle this, Dara went on, while the big dog moved closer.
Oh man, you really scared me there. Oliver then stopped himself,
(17:27):
realizing he wasn't supposed to be talking to dogs. He
then turned to a butterfly he was passing overhead. Did
you hear me, butterfly? You really scared me there. You
came in hot and that was not cool. The dog
growled he did not care for funny business.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Who's that dog? I saw you with Oh him, I'm
not really sure who that was? Was he?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Even a dog could have sworn he looked more like
a hedgehog. The big dog gave Oliver a suspicious look.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I've got my eye on you.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Oliver was that the dog left it at that, But
what was he supposed to do? If the dog kept
following him. Surely he would figure it out, and then
what would happen? Maybe Oliver could convince Dara that the
evil butterfly had zapped his brain and sucked out all
of his dog speaking abilities. That didn't seem too far fetched,
But when he caught up with Dara, she wasn't even
with her dog. Dara, where did you go?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
She turned to Oliver. Hey, I just found out my
brother Timmy fell into a well. Well. This was strange.
Did her dog tell her that? Did she suddenly figure
out how to speak dog?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
It wouldn't exactly be surprising knowing this girl, Dara, But
where is your dog? Don't tell me he fell into
the well too. Dara told him that her dog had
run off chasing a squirrel, leaving her no choice but
to ask a cat. The cat told her about a
boy who had fallen into a well her brother Timmy.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Did I not mention.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
To you that I speak cat?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
She asked.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I'm not really supposed to anymore, since one of them
got me in trouble for it, but I figured desperate
times call for desperate measures. Just don't tell anyone, okay,
especially not the cat boss. Oliver helped Dara rescue her
brother from the well. The little guy was totally fine.
He barely had a scratch on him, and yet he
still made them by an entire box of Spider Man
(19:17):
band aids. The next morning, Darra swung by Oliver's house
before school to thank him once more. Oliver, You're a
pretty special guy, you know, And I'd still say that
even if you spoke zero languages. She then handed him
a package. Someone left this for you on your doorstep.
Oliver opened it up. Inside was a puppy dog costume.
(19:39):
Attached was a note, but the note just looked like
someone had scribbled all over it. How am I supposed
to read this, he asked Dara, showing her the note.
Dara somehow began reading it. As she did, Oliver could
hear the writer's voice. Dear little Lord Wolfington, I just
want you to know that I found out what you
did yesterday. I think it's pretty cool that you help
(20:02):
save some little boy from the will. You've got the
true spirit of a dog, but you also spoke dog
when you weren't supposed to speak dog, and for that,
I'm punishing you by making you wear this cute little
puppy dog costume to school for the rest of the week.
That said, don't be afraid to say hello next time
you see me. I don't bite signed.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
You know who.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Darra set the letter down without turning her head. She
could feel the look Oliver was giving her. It was
a look of shock, and not because he had just
found out he had to wear a puppy dog costume
for the rest of the week.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Haha. I said I couldn't speak dog. I never said
I couldn't read dog. Those wolfs all just sound the
same to me. So relaxed, little Lord Wuffington. It's not
a competition and you're still our special little guy. The end.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
That's the story, and here is your question of the week.
Which animal language would you most like to speak? Thanks
to Oliver and Dara for letting me use their names
in today's story, and shout out to the following listeners
Ameya Willis from England, Andrew Huong from Odessa, Texas, Cameron,
Maddie and Jordan from Denver, Colorado, Ila, and Sienna from Queensland, Australia,
(21:22):
Otto from England, Sam from Melbourne, Australia, Augie and Frankie
from New Jersey, Leo and Leo's puppy Bolt from Victoria, Australia,
and also Shore from Georgia along with her dog Mavvy.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And her really bad dog Rocket.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Thanks for listening and I'll catch you on the next one.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics
Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.