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October 20, 2025 17 mins
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In this silly story, James can’t believe his luck when his family moves into what looks like the perfect haunted house. He’s ready for flickering lights, creaky floors, and maybe even a ghostly friend. But what he finds inside isn’t exactly what he had in mind…

Warning: this goofy story for kids may result in smiles, snorts, and possibly some LOLs. Listen at your own discretion. 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, Well, story times really not a glory time, Rabbi standing,
You'll be fine follow the whole storyline. Helloel, story time
Might you love released one time? Well, hey, hey, hey,
welcome back to the show, and tis the season for
my not so scary story, which is called the Embarrassingly
Haunted House. Today's story features characters named after James and Judah.

(00:26):
Some other shadows this week go out to Lily from Sydney, Australia,
Georgia from New Zealand, Gea from San Diego, abdurham And
from Saudi Arabia, Hudson, Logan and Wynn from Leewood, Kansas,
Ash and Zoe McKay from New Zealand, Max and Leo
from New Zealand, Lucas and Lauren from Ontario, Canada listening

(00:47):
with their bulldog, Frank Clay and his dogs Couma and
Coco from Holly Springs, North Carolina, Callahan and Whyland from Iowa.
And Shadow to Ripley listening in Washington from your brother Jack.
More to come next time, but for now, let's get
into the story. This is the story of the time

(01:12):
James received some very unexpected news. His parents sat him
down one day and gently broke it to him that
they were moving. We're so sorry, James, e pooh, we
wish it didn't have to be this way. Your father
and I know how much you love this house. This
wasn't even the worst part. And another thing, James, the
house we're moving into is well really old looking, like

(01:35):
really old, looking like really really really really really old looking.
They handed James a photo of the house. It didn't
help that it was in black and white. I know
it looks a little spooky in the picture, but it
probably looks totally normal in person. James's parents glanced nervously
at each other while their son studied the photo. He

(01:55):
flapped it in the air. So we're leaving all this
behind to move here. His mom bit her lower lip
and nodded, it might not be so bad. James set
the photo down on the coffee table. Mom, Dad, this
might be the coolest thing you have ever done for me.
A young family moves into a mysterious old house they

(02:17):
know nothing about. I've seen enough scary movies to know
how this plays out. This story practically writes itself. His
dad frowned, So, uh, you want to live in an old,
spooky house? James laughed like it was the silliest question ever. Dad.
Of course, who wouldn't want to live in a haunted house?
Do you know how much more exciting haunted houses are

(02:39):
than regular ones? What's the scariest thing that's ever happened here?
The time we forgot the Wi Fi password? I mean, yeah,
I cried a little, but I wouldn't call that scary.
His parents didn't believe in haunted houses, but since James
was actually excited, they weren't about to ruin it. They'd
expected this news to go very differently. On moving to

(03:00):
James could hardly sit still as the car climbed the
twisted road toward their new home. He pressed his face
to the window. Oh yeah, look at that thing. It's
even creepier than I imagined. See that boarded up window,
textbook haunted house window style. In that porch with the
rocking chair, Betett moves all by itself, creepy. And check

(03:20):
with that old oak tree the top totally looks like
a hand reaching for the house. This place is awesome.
His parents had spent the last week trying to convince
him that haunted houses weren't real. James, his mother said,
just because the house looks interesting doesn't make it haunted.
It's just old and needs a few repairs, more like

(03:42):
a few hundred repairs, said his dad. Now I see
why the price was so low. James didn't care. He
couldn't wait to get inside. If they couldn't see how
haunted this place looked, clearly they hadn't read Haunted House
Interiors magazine. Guys, look at the house on the cover
of this magazine. They look so similar to ours they
could be Haunted house twins. His parents exchanged looks, James.

(04:07):
The houses in that magazine probably aren't even real, his
mom said. And even if they are, they're not actually haunted,
just like ours. Totally unhaunted. Yeah, added his dad. That's
probably an AI picture. Seems like AI can do just
about anything these days. Pretty soon, even our underpants will
be made by AI. James ignored them. The second the

(04:30):
car stopped, he was already unbuckled. Watch your step, guys,
he called out, as he shot up toward the door.
Some crooked boards on the stairs. The inside of the
house looked every bit as spooky as the outside. Dusty furniture,
faded wallpaper, and old portraits of people who felt like
they were watching you get a load of these photos.

(04:50):
Tell me these people don't look like they'd make excellent ghosts.
His mom looked uneasy. She turned to her husband, I'm
not so sure about this place wrong. Ron wasn't sure either. Well,
you know, it might take a bit of getting used to.
Why don't we get some sleep. It's late and things
always look better in daylight. James couldn't believe they were

(05:11):
already calling it a night. Now was the perfect time
to meet a ghost, the kind that hangs out in
the attic and becomes your new best friend in the morning.
James begged not to go to school. Nothing had creaked, clattered,
or gone boo all night. A full day of exploring
would fix that. But school turned out to be pretty
great because that's where he met Judah. Dude. Judah said,

(05:34):
is it true your family moved into that creepy old
house no one's lived in for years? James nodded, that's
so awesome. I'm jealous my parents have a regular house.
I mean, sure, we've got a pool, but I trade
that in a heartbeat for a place like yours. Finally,
someone who understood that's exactly what I've been saying, said James.

(05:55):
People act like creepy old houses are a bad thing.
It's like have they not seen any movies? They're the
least boring houses ever. Judah leaned closer. I don't want
to freak you out, but people around here say your
house is haunted. James grinned from ear to ear. Some
people would shriek upon hearing such news. James, however, gave
his new friend a high five. They then high fived

(06:18):
even harder when they realized they'd both brought copies of
haunted house interiors to school. Ow, said Judah, shaking his hand. Sorry,
said James, rubbing his own. So would you like to
come over to my place on the weekend to check
it out? Maybe by then I'll have found a ghost
I can introduce you to. Judah told James he would
love to. He had been dreaming of such an opportunity

(06:39):
for years, and now he finally had an invitation. After school,
James ran home as fast as he could. So what
did you guys see, he asked his parents. Any moving walls,
lights flickering? How good do we have it? His parents
had just finished helping the movers unload the last box
they collapsed onto an old show usterfield, coughing. Is dust

(07:01):
puffed up? Well Son said his dad. It's a fixer rupper,
But nothing your handy parents can't handle. James frowned. Since
when were his parents handy? They'd once called a repair
man to fix a loose towel rack. Maybe you guys
were too busy unpacking to notice anything. I'll go find
something haunted and report back. I'd rather you didn't. His

(07:24):
mom called, but he was already gone. Upstairs, he found
an old porcelain doll on the floor. Ah, yeah, I
know what's about to happen. The story practically writes itself.
Doll comes to life and starts talking in a creepy
little doll voice. The doll immediately fell apart in his
hands when he tried to pick it up. That's okay,

(07:45):
James said, Still lots of other things around here that
could be totally haunted. Just as he said that, he
heard a creaking sound coming from the hallway. Oh yeah,
that sounded haunted. He followed the noise into the hallway
and nearly gas What is that smell? His dad stood there, embarrassed. Uh, sorry,

(08:06):
that was me. Okay, So nothing haunted in the hallway either,
but that was okay. James knew exactly where to look next.
Who all right, then, said James. If you need me,
I'll be in the attic. Well, why would you want
to go up there, asked his dad. Why wouldn't I?
Everyone knows attics are where all the ghosts live. The

(08:29):
attic was perfect, cobwebs, dusty boxes, a family of mice.
He named the smallest one SHATCHI come out, come out,
wherever you are, ghost. Your new best friend is here.
But no luck. Perhaps the ghost was just shy. The
next day, Judah cornered, I'm at school, so any activity,

(08:50):
bed shaking, door, slamming shut, mysterious whispers. James sighed, Nah,
I only heard one weird sound, but it turned out
to be my dad's. But Judah told James not to
worry about it. It's all right, man, You've only been
there for like a day. We can check it out
together on the weekend. I'm sure we'll find something. As

(09:10):
it got closer to Saturday, James was feeling less and
less sure that they would. He felt like he had
checked every square inch of this place. While brushing his
teeth just before his playdate. He carefully studied the bathroom mirror.
Why couldn't there be a ghost standing behind me? Then
when I turn around, God, but when I look back
at the mirror, Bam it's there again, but closer. That

(09:32):
would be awesome. Instead, it was just James looking back
at James. What am I supposed to tell Judah that
I live in a regular house? No way? And then
he heard it, flousshhhh me, flohhhhhhh me. James dropped his toothbrush.

(09:53):
Whoa what was that? He listened again, flushh me, flow
bush me. James looked over to the other side of
the bathroom. It almost sounded like the toilet was talking.
Excuse me, did you just say something floush me floushh me.

(10:16):
Oh great, a haunted toilet talk about the most embarrassing
thing ever. Why does it have to be the toilet
that is haunted? This house has so many creepier things
in it. The voice called out to James again, floushhhhhhhh me. No, bro,
I'm not gonna flush you. I literally already used the
toilet earlier. I'm just here to brush my teeth this time.

(10:39):
Why don't you try flushing yourself? James stormed out of
the bathroom as he heard Judah knocking at the door. James,
this feels like the best day of my life, said
Judah as James opened the door. I've always dreamed of
seeing the inside of this place. Se have you found
anything yet? Show me everything? I got. A place like
this has a creepy porcelain doll that comes alive. There

(11:00):
no way, James was about to tell his friend about
the embarrassing thing that had just happened. Uh, yeah, nothing yet, Judah.
I mean, the floor sometimes make a creaking sound when
you walk on them. But that's probably good enough, right.
Shall we go play at your house now? That definitely
wasn't good enough for Judah. He began poking around and
getting himself into everything that he could. You just can't

(11:20):
go into my parents' room. Okay. They seem to have
a really hard time not leaving underwear all over the floor.
James gave his friend a tour of the house and
even showed him around the property outside, but nothing jumped
out at them. Before it was time for Judah to
go home, he told James he needed to go to
the bathroom. Uh, are you sure you need to go
to the bathroom? Judah, like, don't they say it's better

(11:42):
for your bladder if you just hold it in for
a really long time. Judah was no medical expert, but
he knew that when he needed to go, he needed
to go. James waited nervously for his friend by the
front door. A few minutes later, Judah came downstairs, looking pale. Uh, James,
I'm not entirely sure, but I think your toilet just

(12:02):
asked me to flush it, and then I did, because
that's kind of what you do after using the bathroom.
But then I think I heard it say thank you.
James forced to laugh. Bro toilets don't talk. I mean,
old pipes are known to make weird sounds. But I
think what we've learned here today is that this is
just an old, yet very very regular house with nothing
that is embarrassingly haunted. Judah admitted that he may have

(12:25):
let his excitement get the best of his imagination. That night,
James heard the toilet again flusshhhh me, flushhhhhhh me. Yeah,
I get it, Okay, you need to be flushed. That's
something I learned about toilets on the very first day
of potty training. Now, why don't you tell me what
else is haunted around here? The toilet just said, be

(12:49):
careful what you wish for. You're telling me, answered James,
I made the mistake of wishing for a haunted house,
and all I got was a rag with a haunted toilet.
That's like the most embarrassing answer to a wish I've
ever had. As bad as it was, James decided everything
would be okay, just as long as he never invited

(13:10):
another friend over ever again. It seemed like a good
plan until a week later, when Judah decided to show
up unannounced with the editor of Haunted House Interiors magazine. James, Look,
who came to see your place, The guy from our
favorite magazine. He's got ghost detecting equipment and everything. You're
gonna be on the cover. James could picture it now,

(13:31):
him smiling proudly on the cover next to a toilet.
You know, he said, those ghost censors aren't always accurate.
I heard about one that beaped for a bagel. Imagine
a haunted bagel. The man grinned after they scanned that bagel,
it flew across the room. You'd be surprised at the
weird types of things that can be haunted Judah's eyes sparkled,

(13:56):
I bet you this place has something way better than
a flying bagel. Together, they toured the house, waving the
beeping wand nothing until they reached the bathroom. James blocked
the door. Sorry, guys, broken toilet, can't go in. Well,
I guess that's it, just a regular house with no
embarrassing things that are haunted. What a shame. The man

(14:17):
raised an eyebrow. Funny, I used to fix toilets before
I got into the gho's business. Let me take a look.
The wand began screaming with beeps the moment he opened
the door. Well, well, well, what do we have here?
James's face turned red. If you start hearing a voice,
just ignore it. Perfectly normal plumbing stuff. Flosshhhhh me, said

(14:42):
the toilet. The man grinned, don't mind if I do
as you pressed the handle. The bowl filled not with
water but with green slime. Cool, said Judah, Cool said
the man. Totally normal toilet. Behave if you're right there,
said James. Then something even wilder happened. James glanced at

(15:05):
the mirror and saw someone behind him, someone who wasn't
there when he turned around. When he looked back. The
figure was closer. Oh hey, man, are you from that
new family that just moved in. Sorry I wasn't around
to meet you earlier. I've been out looking for a
new house to move into. I had started to think
no one was gonna buy this place. Judah screamed and bolted.

(15:28):
I hope your friend didn't get freaked out by the
haunted toilet. I've been meaning to get that thing fixed
for weeks. Anyway. I don't know if you've ever been
friends with a ghost before, but I would love to
be your new best friend. It was everything James had
hoped for a real ghost, funny, friendly and charming, and yes,
he even lived in the attic. It was a story

(15:50):
so good it practically wrote itself. Weeks later, Judah was back,
finally over the shock of having met his first ghost.
Their ghost friend floated into the room holding some mail.
Oh yeah, said Judah, that's probably the new issue of
Haunted House Interiors. James's eyes lit up like the inside
of a jackal lantern. No way, hand it over, Ghosty.

(16:12):
I can't wait to see our cover photo. Ghosty passed
him the magazine. James gasped, Wait, what this isn't a
picture of me and Ghosty. It's just me standing next
to a toilet. He buried his face in his hands,
so embarrassing. The end. That's the story, And here's your

(16:39):
question of the week. Would you ever step foot in
a house that might be haunted or would you be
running in the other direction. Well, that's a wrap on
this week's episode. Thanks for listening, and I'll catch you
on the next one.
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