Lords of Loud

A joke for Lord Ben: How many Beatles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one (preferably Paul) holding the lightbulb still while the universe spins around him. The Lords examine Lord Ben’s hypothefact that The Beatles get no respect.

A decade plus after #MeToo four men discuss fave females, just as we realise gender is an outdated concept. Isn't it ironic? Nah, it a riot (grrrl). Among others, Miss Sharon Jones brings the soul, Siouxsie Sioux the stranger things, and Martha Wainwright reminds us all to treat our daughters with some serious respect!

In an unusual turn of events, Lord Kev jauntily turns his gaze away from the pavement while the other Lords schlep along it instead. They can’t quite come to grips with the bent bottle cap that is Stephen Malkmus’ voice but goodness knows they try.

Lord Kev's course concludes with his personal top tracks from the last 25 years and 250 albums by the esoteric post-punk band famously described as "always different, always the same". How does an extricated Fall fan maintain the love, and can you even hear him over the soggy sounds of a Queensland summer night? Get your paper and pen; there will be questions at the end.

In a normal episode of Bizarro World, there’s one band, with 3 for it and 1 against. In a normal episode.Enter: Lord Al. He takes a leaf out of Oprah’s book, hooting excitedly and jabbing his finger at the other lords: You get a band! You get a band! You get a band!

Lord Ben drops another of his famed musical truth bombs claiming "There was only ever one punk band". The other lords grab their gas masks and take cover, scrambling for shreds of reason in a world gone mad. When the smoke clears and the first white dove flies free, who will be left standing to plant their flag, claiming the new reality as their own?

The Lords are back to do a few more doughies in the Oz Music carpark. There are some heavyweights in this collection and the Lords ponder what makes an act truly Aussie: is it if you’re born here, move here, or just if you wear a pair of Stubbies now and then?

God bless little Billy and his Smashing Pumpkins. And his 'mellon collie' and his collie's infinite endless sadness. The lords break up this 90s classic into a leaner meaner version.

He was the best of Bens, he was the worst of Bens, he was the Ben of wisdom, he was the Ben of 80s ballads… tonight we say farewell to Lord Ben as he leaves on his journey to life’s after-party.

The Lords explore the Oz rock and pop outback for acts that defined a musical genre worldwide, or created brand new genres that could only ever have come from the land down under. Ben goes straight down the middle of the road, Brett pogoes with punk pioneers, and Kev and Al get obscure and weird as per bloody usual mate.

Apart from heartache and bills, kids sometimes give their parents some tasty tunes. The fatherly Lords don the slippers and puff the pipe as they consider what their progeny have shared with them.

Strange times indeed! Back from iso, Lord Kev chooses an Album of the Week the others actually like, Brett counts in a second discussion on top drum tracks with a punk gem, Ben doesn't mention Ringo, and Lord Al, well, he was doing strange anyway – but are the others ready for a slab of gore grind?

The Lords celebrate the best drummer in the Stones with their favourite drumming moments of the great Charlie Watts.

Here’s a riddle for you, dear listeners. What’s the difference between sweaty nutsacks and the Lords of Loud? Sweaty nutsacks stick to briefs. Marvel at this week’s attempt at Alpha Battle with the letter ‘G’ and the topic of siblings.

The Lords serve up another slice of the four-string motherfudging pie as they revisit the best basslines of all time. However, does a bass “presence” actually constitute a bassline? Tune in and judge for yourself.

'Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone ...' He's gone and life will never be the same. But how will we remember the paradox that was Lord Al? What songs say what mere words could never express.

And, from the ridiculous to the sublime: Lord Ben tells the tragic tale of the iconic jazz and swing queen known as Lady Day.

With a blast of icy sub-tropical wind slamming the door shut, the Lords huddle around their microphones for warmth. Will the skies ever be clear again? With only their shared respect for each other to keep them warm, there are obviously grim weeks of privation ahead.

Also: the grease monkeys delve into the natural world to do a final tune-up on the topic of samples.