June 13, 2025 • 53 mins
In this deeply personal and raw episode, we peel back the layers of manhood, trauma, and transformation. Tyler and Danny dive into childhood experiences that shaped their emotional responses, reflecting on their relationships with their fathers and how those early lessons manifest in adult life, from silent retreats in the desert to childhood “gladiator fights” in school bathrooms.
Through powerful storytelling, moments of humor, and candid vulnerability, they explore generational cycles, the challenge of apologizing, and the pursuit of inner peace amidst life’s chaos. With discussions touching on mental health, shadow work, and men’s groups, this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of masculinity and healing.
- The impact of childhood trauma and generational habits
- The struggle and importance of forgiveness
- Men’s mental health and emotional awareness
- The role of self-care and therapy in healing
- Silent retreats, breath work, and emotional resets
- Finding strength in vulnerability
Join the conversation, do the work, and fight your shadows—because peace starts with self-awareness.
Fighting Shadows: Fathers, Forgiveness & Finding Peace
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danny (00:09):
probably will be on the podcast.
Tyler (00:10):
And it will. Welcome back.
Danny (00:12):
We're back. Red button. Right?
Tyler (00:14):
Yeah. Yeah. We're good. We're good to go.
Danny (00:15):
Ready to go. Record.
Tyler (00:17):
We are recording. I know it's getting it's been an
interesting year. Obviously, wesay that every year.
Danny (00:23):
Yeah. True. We're just talking about our weeks. Yeah.
You had we had some crazy stuff.
You had a you had a silentretreat.
Tyler (00:31):
I went on a silent retreat with so my therapist and
somebody he's known for a longtime who's gone to several South
American countries has kind offallen into this shaman. He he's
he's a self self built shaman.Okay. I always see a white dude
with red hair. And I thinkshaman and I'm like, yeah.
(00:53):
Right.
Danny (00:53):
Sure you are, buddy.
Tyler (00:54):
Yeah. Sure you are. Yeah. And and and I don't mean to be
skeptical. I mean, I think a lotof that has to do with my
religious background growing up.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Likeanybody can slap on a title. And
the more the more, you know,kind of fantastic Yeah. You
know, your works are, the more Ikind of get a little but it was
cool.
To sit in silence for fortyeight hours or however long we
(01:17):
were, it was from basicallyFriday, 5PM to Saturday, 5PM.
Danny (01:23):
Oh, wow.
Tyler (01:24):
No contact with the outside world out in the West
Desert.
Danny (01:29):
It was good?
Tyler (01:29):
It was good.
Danny (01:30):
How many people?
Tyler (01:31):
There was it was a small group and there was eight of us
total.
Danny (01:34):
And you drove your Bronco and slept in the Bronco?
Tyler (01:37):
Drove the Bronco, slept in the Bronco. They did have
like cool little tent sites withthe chair set up and I'm kind of
regretting I didn't do that. Ijust pulled the old C card and
was like, I don't know that mybody will do good on an air
mattress. Yeah. Not that it doesgreat in rooftop tent, but
Danny (01:53):
it's slightly more comfortable. And then they did
classes? What did they do?
Tyler (01:58):
Yeah. So they led us through his little routine.
There was like a a portion ofbreath work.
Danny (02:07):
Okay.
Tyler (02:10):
It was I don't know. I fell asleep during the breath
work. So Good. I always judge mybreath work by like how how I
feel after.
Danny (02:19):
Yeah.
Tyler (02:19):
Usually is pretty energizing.
Danny (02:21):
This time you were tired.
Tyler (02:23):
This time I was tired and I just kinda
Danny (02:24):
Zonked out.
Tyler (02:25):
Zonked out. And it's okay. Was I think it was another
session. I think I may have beenmore or less a novelty there.
Right?
Like before we went silent atfive, we had already been silent
on our phones for since 02:00.We already started our fast
since 02:00, but then we startedsilent. Like, did introductions.
Danny (02:44):
Oh. Just kind of
Tyler (02:45):
be able to tell my story.
Danny (02:46):
Oh, cool.
Tyler (02:47):
There's some younger guys there.
Danny (02:48):
Oh, that's cool.
Tyler (02:49):
I'm just gonna kinda share.
Danny (02:51):
And everybody just kind of like, just one twenty four
hour
Tyler (02:56):
Yeah.
Danny (02:56):
Session of no no electronics.
Tyler (03:00):
No electronics. Just kind of Yeah. Inside the tent, there
were 10 cards, like questionsfor journaling. So wrote a lot
in my Got up early for forsunrise. Did sunrise around the
fire.
Danny (03:17):
No Ayahuasca?
Tyler (03:19):
No. The guy that the guy that the shaman says he does
he's used Ayahuasca andmushrooms in his ceremonies.
Danny (03:26):
Oh, really?
Tyler (03:26):
He just because my therapist is trying this out, he
picked a select group of I thinkhis
Danny (03:35):
Just his folks. Yeah. His his the people he could really
trust on. Yeah. That's cool.
Yeah. Because I didn't hear fromyou at all on Friday.
Tyler (03:43):
I know. I felt bad.
Danny (03:44):
Men's group.
Tyler (03:45):
I think I spaced I I was just realizing I spaced men's
group on Friday morning. Yeah. Ilike had such a shitty like,
I've fallen into really badhabits. So when you sent the
topic for today, was like, thatis a good one to talk about.
Because I am really struggling.
I'm really, really strugglingwith some things from my past
that are just
Danny (04:05):
Showing up.
Tyler (04:06):
Showing up.
Danny (04:07):
Yeah. I was thinking about it today. Like I have a
every once in a while, you know,your thought process goes into
where, where like some of yourtraits come from is what I was
thinking about. Like, what aremy what some of my traits come
from. Some of my some of thethings that I'm happy about,
some of the things that I don'tlike, you know, the good, the
bad, the indifferent types ofthings, you know, but where do
(04:28):
they come from?
My boys and I were talking aboutjust how, you know, your genetic
line and your genetic code, youcan't get away from it
sometimes. Right? And it's theresometimes, you know, turmoil
right now in our country isinsane. You know, it's like
crazy. It's almost seems likeCalifornia is a different
(04:49):
country.
Tyler (04:49):
Dude, what's happening in California? Was just saying like
my grandparents left the lasttime the Koreans got on the
roof. Yeah. And they're on theroof again.
Danny (04:58):
I know.
Tyler (04:58):
It's like '97.
Danny (04:59):
Makes me so sad. Like makes me like think to myself
like, gosh, how lucky I am. Ilive in this bubble.
Tyler (05:05):
Right.
Danny (05:06):
You know, I mean, like, I can imagine driving down the
road and seeing what they'reseeing. It almost looks it
almost looks fake.
Tyler (05:15):
It really does. Like throwing rocks at cars.
Danny (05:18):
Rocks and stuff. And like, you see the police cars
just sitting there and they'rebroken and it's like, man, what
is going on there? And I thinkthat sometimes that kind of
stuff like triggers my emotionalstate of like, oh, how did you
get to a point where you thinkthat that's like, to do, you
know, like I get it, man.Protests. I get it.
Like our country is one whereyou're allowed to protest, where
(05:40):
like things happen and you'relike, I don't like what's
happening. Right? Mhmm. But tolike go crazy like that to me is
like, what in the
Tyler (05:47):
world? Destruction of property never makes sense to
me. Yeah. To adult Tyler, toyoung Tyler, like to young
immature Tyler, the destructionof property seemed like a
perfectly viable option.
Danny (06:00):
Yeah.
Tyler (06:01):
Right? I'm just screwing over these big multimillion
dollar corporations.
Danny (06:04):
Screw them.
Tyler (06:05):
Screw them. They have insurance. They have the money.
Danny (06:07):
Yeah. They'll be able to be
Tyler (06:08):
They'll they'll be fine. And for the most part, they they
were. Right? Like, so I guess II see it. I think as an adult,
I'm like, okay, mostly I enjoymy freedoms and I don't think I
do good in jail.
Danny (06:20):
Yeah, yeah.
Tyler (06:21):
I got a real kissable face,
Danny (06:23):
I think. Yeah, yeah. I think that my size does not bode
well for me. Yeah. I'mdefinitely gonna be somebody,
hey, come sit on my lap.
Yeah. Like, no, I'm not going tojail. You know, when I was when
when we we had after men'sgroup, I ended up going down to
(06:46):
Misty's dad's on Saturday.Friday's men's group. Then
Saturday, you know, you haveI've got one day off and I ended
up going and and really doingsomething really cool with
Professor, which was teachingthe security, how to do security
(07:07):
security, like a securitydetail, like self defense
almost.
It was wild. Oh, wow. Oh mygosh. I told him, I'm like, what
a crazy thing to include me ininto that thing because it's
self defense on another level.Right?
So I, you know, it's it's it'sit was so cool. The the the
(07:28):
little nuances of that kind ofself defense and how you're as a
security detail, how you controlcontrol things, you know? And I
was like, yeah, what a crazywhat a cool thing to do.
Tyler (07:42):
What was the thing that surprised you most about, like,
maybe the change in tactic?
Danny (07:47):
Everything was the same. It's line of leverage, T
position. But it was like, why?And if I'm if I walk up to a
person and I grab them asopposed to like like a woman
walks up and gently puts theirhand on their elbow. Same
(08:07):
concept.
But your your your spider sensesare probably going to be a
little bit less active if it's aif it's this nice lady coming
up. But she's doing the samething. Right. She's actually
gaining line of leverage bygrabbing your elbow and pushing
you. And now when you try toreact, there's something you go
to T position.
(08:28):
And I was like, woah, this isamazing. Plus all of the weapons
stuff and anything that wasgoing anything else on top of
that, there was more. There wasmore to it. There's this there's
some some cool techniques andwas so lucky to be a part of
that. And then, you know, Mistyand I went to the lake and then
(08:48):
I kind of got a little ahead ofmyself.
But then Sunday I went down tosee her dad. She had gone down
there. Her dad had surgery andgosh, he was he's such an
important part of my life. Yeah.To see him on the bed, I was
like, man, a little emotionalbecause I don't like seeing him
like that.
We were talking and he wastelling me some funny shit. And
just just that idea of of beinghelpless as a man. He was
(09:11):
telling me, he's like, you know,I don't know if he's like, I
don't know if you know this, buttoilets are not built for men.
They're built for women to sitdown, not men to sit down. And I
was like, what do you mean?
He's like, yeah, like, I can'tsit down. Like, it's just it's
too low. Oh. It's too low. Andand his back, you know, he had
back surgeries.
Yeah. Yeah. It's too low. He'slike, I I feel like I can't go.
(09:32):
And I'm like, oh, I never even
Tyler (09:34):
thought about was gonna say, has he ever tried to take a
shit standing
Danny (09:36):
up? Well
Tyler (09:37):
I get the low. I get the low. I I didn't realize that
there was a difference until Iactually moved to Utah. And
whoever owned our house musthave been real big because the
toilets like my feet weredangling.
Danny (09:49):
Was like,
Tyler (09:50):
that's You got the extra large toilet.
Danny (09:52):
That's the way to go. Yeah. Yeah. He had to buy like
this other thing to to help himto help it so that he could, he
could sit comfortably. Yeah.
But I was thinking about likehow, how helpless you would
feel, you know, you would feelin those instances as you get
older, you know, and he wastelling me something funny. He
was just, he was like a littlelucid and a little talkative and
sleepy and at the same time, alittle drugged up and he was
(10:15):
just making me laugh. Then, itwas a, it was, it brought a lot
of, like, ideas of to me of likemy childhood and like how my
childhood shaped who I am today.Right? And and then there's
these traits that I that everyonce in a while show themselves,
(10:35):
you know, and I'm like, man,where did that come from?
You know, I don't apologizewell. You know, I don't I don't
apologize well. I fight. I'llfight and I fight hard if I need
to fight. Like I'm like fightinghard to fight, you know?
And so I started to like think alittle bit about those those
ideas. I listened to a Columbinepodcast. I don't even know why
(10:59):
it just came up on my feed Andoh my gosh. Talk about
Tyler (11:03):
Some wackadoos. Did you did they read his manifesto? The
They did
Danny (11:07):
read his manifesto. It was more of like
Tyler (11:08):
Summarizer.
Danny (11:10):
Some of the kids that had had there was the kids that had
that that had survived.
Tyler (11:15):
Oh, oh.
Danny (11:15):
Some of the people that had survived and oh my gosh.
Talk about talk about a littleemotional. I was trying to think
I was it was 97 when thathappened.
Tyler (11:24):
99. 98.
Danny (11:28):
I think it was 97. You should Google that. That's a
good thing to Google.
Tyler (11:32):
Well, I mean, because I was a junior in high school. It
would have been '98, '99.
Danny (11:36):
'99, you think?
Tyler (11:37):
I thought so.
Danny (11:38):
Maybe it
Tyler (11:39):
was I thought it was Oct or excuse me, 04/20/1999.
Danny (11:42):
And I thought it was 04/20/1997. But
Tyler (11:47):
Either way.
Danny (11:47):
Either way. Let's I'll let's Google it. We'll And then
yeah, I was trying to put myselfback in that position where I
was at. '98. April twentieth ofninety eight, I was in the
military.
I thought about that today. Wasin basic training. So wouldn't
have been it would have you'reright. It's either '97 or '99.
I'm not sure which one it is.
(12:09):
I would try to put myself there.Yeah. I try to put myself in
that position of what those kidswent through and
Tyler (12:15):
As as the reactive kids to yeah. It's interesting
because Jordan Peterson hasyou've you can hear him talk
about the actual Dylan and whatis the other kid's name?
Danny (12:28):
Dylan and
Tyler (12:30):
Whatever. They're they're relatively unimportant at this
point. We don't yeah.
Danny (12:33):
Yeah. It's funny how they people talk. When people talk,
they're like, yeah, these guysdon't even that doesn't matter.
Tyler (12:38):
But he's he talks about them and specifically some of
the things that that likepsychologically that they wrote.
Like he makes a big deal aboutthe manifesto and how people
should go back and read hismanifesto because it's probably
one of the more potent pieces ofI think it was Dylan Klebold
Danny (12:57):
Yeah. I think you're and Eric Harris. Oh, yeah. You're
right. I think that's theirnames.
Yeah. And Sounds familiar.
Tyler (13:04):
Yeah. They said I think it was Dylan Klebold's diary
where he talks about them. Yeah.Like about like killing them and
like what he's gonna do to them.And he's like, this is you see
very similar writing and like,you know, high ranking Nazi
officials and like how they talkabout them.
They're not people.
Danny (13:23):
Yeah. Yeah. They're not the people. Yeah. You grew up in
how far from Littleton were youwhere did you do you know?
Tyler (13:30):
I mean, there's so many high schools in that kind of
suburban Yeah. But they werepart of yeah. They were part of
Littleton School District. Theyweren't far. We had teachers
come.
We would, you know, that wewould play them and they were
like in our conference. Weren'tthey weren't far. The scope of
things, my former sister-in-lawwent to a rival high school in
(13:55):
the same district.
Danny (13:56):
Okay.
Tyler (13:57):
King Carl. She would have gone yeah. Could have gone to
Columbine as well, I guess,depending on where they
Danny (14:02):
Oh, where they lived?
Tyler (14:03):
Where they lived.
Danny (14:04):
Yeah. Just the idea of like, you know, put, you know,
like I said, just some of thosethings shaped, they shaped us.
You know, I was out of highschool at that point, but it
definitely shaped, it definitelyshaped our lives of like, Oh
yeah. Knowing that they, whatthey actually like, you know,
their, their, how to get to thatlevel of like, like you said,
(14:25):
like they're just, they don'tsee people as people, you know,
they're turned off from thatkind of a thing. And it's funny
because like for me as in,because because of January, you
know, it's men's mental health.
There's so many times whereyou're like, man, how did that
person get to those places? Youknow, how did they, what, what
character traits of their lifeor their genetic code got them
(14:47):
to where they're got them tothat point, you know? And and
then you look at your ownchildren sometimes and go, oh my
gosh, my kids are my kids areokay. You know, they're not
they're crazy as shit, but butbut our genetic code is okay.
Like, we don't have any kind oflike glitches in our genetic
code.
Tyler (15:06):
Right. And what are the signs? Like, what are the signs
that that kind of stuff ishappening? Because I can see a
learned pattern of helplessnessgetting you to a point of of
depression. Right?
They
Danny (15:20):
talk a little bit about, I guess, the Dylan the Dylan
kid. He was a he was like afollower. He didn't have very
many friends and he Yeah. Andthat Eric Harris kid, you know,
was looking for kids to do thiswith and just got lucky and
found this, this kid that wasall in like him, you know. And,
(15:42):
you know, I again, like my, my,my childhood, there were some
things in my childhood thatshaped me, you know, my, you
know, what's even funnier isthat me and my brother, same
dad, but because of because ofmy age and our age gap, my
brother didn't go through thesame things that I went through
(16:03):
with my dad.
You know, my when I was older,you know, but my dad was
drinking a lot and I know why Ifight so hard sometimes. You
know, it's like when I was akid, he wouldn't have gladiator
fights with me and my friends.Him and his buddies would get
drunk, you know, and then hewould have me and my friends
(16:23):
fight. You know, was probablylike five, six years old when
that's the time I can rememberfighting. You know?
Tyler (16:30):
When your father is your superhero.
Danny (16:32):
Yeah. And he's like, you should fight. And it's like,
okay. And I remember one time Ifought this kid. I say fight,
but it's, I mean, it wasn't evenlike, I mean, I just kicked the
shit out of him.
He was my friend, but my dad andhis buddy got drunk and, and I
remember me and him fighting andthis kid was so afraid. He was
so afraid. He scratched mereally bad on my face as I was
(16:55):
as we were fighting. And Iremember like, remember thinking
this is not fun, you know, and Iwas young, young, young, you
know, and yeah, my for thelongest time I would be like, my
dad would be like, no, youfight, you fight, you fight, you
be the one to punch. You be theperson to do that kind of a
thing, you know?
(17:15):
And those character traits, likeI steal sometimes, like, you
know, I fight to the deathsometimes, you know, with with
that with that. And I think thatthat little tiny trait, you
know, it was something that Ihad to like really fight to not
do to my own boys. Sometimespeople would be like, hey, woah,
(17:36):
woah, woah, you're being alittle rough on your boys. I'm
thinking, you don't even knowwhat rough You
Tyler (17:40):
have no idea.
Danny (17:41):
Yeah. I mean, the way that I grew up, I mean, this is
pretty soft compared to what theway that I grew up.
Tyler (17:46):
It sounds intense.
Danny (17:47):
It was really it was crazy. Like, mean, like, when I
tell you, like, it would be likein a room like this and his
friends would be sitting aroundme and my me and the kid me and
a kid would be fighting.Sometimes it wasn't even a kid
that I knew. Just just some kidthat they find and I'd fight I'd
fight that kid. I was young.
Like I said, I mean, I wasprobably like, you know, my dad
(18:08):
maybe like from five, six,seven, eight. I remember the
playground fighting. It kind ofshaped my life. Like when I was
in grade, this is even crazier.When I was in grade, we had
gladiator fights in thebathrooms and you'd go to school
and they'd say, hey, Danny, it'syour day to day.
Make sure you go to the bathroomat like this time. And you'd go
(18:31):
in there and
Tyler (18:31):
whoever else is in
Danny (18:32):
there, there'd be a fight. And one day it was one of
my really, really, really goodfriends. And I had a hard time
fighting him, but he didn't. Andthat kind of caught me off guard
because we were really goodfriends. But, yeah, it was my
day to fight and I fought in inthe bathroom.
Tyler (18:48):
That's crazy.
Danny (18:49):
Then later on, my my cousins my cousins and I, we
grew up together. We same thing.Like, we fought they we fought
we would go in the bathroom andjust pick a random kid and one
of my cousins would fight himfor for just like no reason. And
sometimes, man, those kids wouldbe, you know, you'd get like I'd
I'd get this feeling of likeguilt because those kids did not
(19:12):
want to fight. Yeah.
You know, and they're they're inthere crying and stuff. And my
cousins are, you know, kickingthe shit out this And I had to
fight really hard not to havethose same tendencies with with
my boys.
Tyler (19:26):
So back up a because I think we've all probably
experienced this. But do you doyou recall specific behavior
from when you were a child thatyour dad would do and you'd be
like, I'm never doing that?
Danny (19:41):
Yeah.
Tyler (19:41):
And then waking up someday as an adult or like
stopping yourself mid behavioras an adult and you're like,
shit, that's the same I know.Thing my dad did.
Danny (19:53):
Well, I think
Tyler (19:53):
I told
Danny (19:53):
you this. My dad is name we have the same we we go to the
same thing. Right? Your dad'sname is your dad's name is
Douglas and my dad, his name isDanny. Yeah.
Yeah. And they call my dad BigDanny. Uh-huh. And they call me
Little Danny.
Tyler (20:04):
Okay.
Danny (20:05):
And, yeah, there's times when I'll say something and I'll
be like, oh my god. I sound justlike my dad. Yeah. You know? And
I'll do something.
I'll, you know, I'll say or dosomething and my brothers and
sisters will be like, oh my god,you sound like just like dad.
And I'll be like, the fuck? Donot say that about me.
Tyler (20:28):
I I wonder. Right? Like, because I know plenty of men and
humans in general that havelike, being like their dad is
not necessarily a bad thing. No.And I wouldn't say that being
like my father is necessarily abad thing.
He's made a lot of poordecisions. He's had to own them.
Yeah. And I've been very blessedto learn via negativa. Like by
(20:52):
watching him, he's filled in alot of blanks for myself.
Danny (20:56):
Yeah.
Tyler (20:56):
And I think I've gone through a significant period of
time where, yeah, I didn't wantto be like that. I don't want to
be like that. I don't think hewanted to be like that. Yeah.
But I always tell my childrenand I think this is true for my
father that like, I mean, heonly could give me what he had.
(21:17):
It's his level of education.Yeah. And and a lot of that is
is is is broken or stuck in avery childhood state. And so
I've had to like tell mychildren like my floor is or my
ceiling is your floor. Like youare going to take off from
wherever I'm at.
You're going to inherit thesetraits no matter what, whether
(21:37):
you like them or not. Likethere's going to be some learned
behavior. We've spent enoughtime together. Some bad habit or
good excuse me, good habitsgonna sneak through. Right.
Excuse me. I got the I been onand off pills and like I started
back on one of them that givesme the worst heartburn.
Danny (21:57):
Oh, no.
Tyler (21:58):
I'm so over it.
Danny (21:59):
Yeah. But
Tyler (22:01):
yeah, I think I I think that quite a bit. What I take
away from my childhood, liketraits that I don't necessarily
like about myself. I've noticedthis week, writing shit down.
I've gotten out of the habit ofwriting shit down so I'm missing
stuff. Oh.
I damn near missed a weddingtoday.
Danny (22:22):
Yeah.
Tyler (22:23):
Had I completely forgot. I missed men's group. You'd send
out the text messages, you sendout the text messages and like
it was like, when did I realize?Probably when you texted me on
Saturday, I was like, oh, shit.I spaced it.
There was no reason that I couldnot make it other than the fact
I just forgot to write it downand I didn't
Danny (22:42):
go. Right.
Tyler (22:44):
And that's just a bad habit that I've got I got as a
kid. I learned it in school. Andso I wouldn't say that any of
these traits that I've picked upare necessarily directly
correlated to my parents. But Iwould say that they may be
correlated to the situation as awhole. Like the fact that I'm a
(23:05):
bad student, the fact that Ifeel like I'm stuck in kind of
some fight or flight, the factthat I don't really trust very
easy.
It takes a long time to get in.
Danny (23:14):
Sure.
Tyler (23:18):
Even wanting a bigger family like I came from a very
broken home. I was alwaysjealous of the families that
had, you know, big familygatherings. Right. Those I think
are things that have held meback for sure as an adult and I
had to work really hard to kindof overcome some of that that
(23:40):
behavior.
Danny (23:41):
Yeah. And as men, you're, you know, we talk about this a
lot and I know people know this,like, you're not given tools to
deal with some of the baggagebullshit that that that you
bring to the table. Right? Itreally does really, really,
really does boil down to, areyou willing to address some of
(24:02):
these things that you're justyou're you're just given. Right.
You know, like you don't have achoice. Like you're just given
these things. Like we talkedabout, like, like you say
something or you do something,you're like, fuck, I sound just
like my dad or I sound you know,there's lots of things that I
would man, if you said if yousaid, man, you sound like your
dad, I would it would ruin myday. Yeah. It would ruin my day.
(24:25):
It would ruin me. Yeah. And backin the day, like back, you know,
maybe ten, fifteen years ago, itwas everything I could do to not
be a single ounce like my dad.And if something came through,
man, I would be, I would bebummed for, I would be, you
know, heartbroken. Yeah.
(24:46):
If Misty and them sometimessaid, God, you sound like your
dad. I'd be like, that would I'dbe heartbroken because it I have
so many bad and negativeconnotations about my dad, you
know? And then and then there'slike sometimes when I'm like,
oh, I'll remember something.I'll be like, oh my gosh. Yeah.
(25:06):
And it will be with my dad. Itwould be a it would be like a
really cool experience with mydad, you know? Yeah. One thing
that I one thing that, you know,my dad and I never my dad and I
never tell each other that welove each other. Never.
It would never. Like, know, ifif if I tell my dad I love him,
it's it tastes weird, you know?But my boys and I, every day,
(25:28):
all day, a 100 times a day, Iwill tell my kids that I love
them. Yeah. Because it'ssomething that I think, like, I
long for it.
Because I tell you, I I I get a,like, gross feeling if my dad
and I say, I love each other.It's it's the weirdest thing.
Tyler (25:43):
It'd be one of those weird, awkward moments.
Danny (25:46):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hugging or anything like that. Like, you
know, I mean, I don't rememberthe last time.
Yeah. I don't see my dad veryoften.
Tyler (25:53):
You don't?
Danny (25:54):
You know? But my boys and I like we hug all the time. You
know, we talk all the time andit really was a valid point. And
I think some of those traits,like some of those things you
can you can write. Like yousaid, there's holes, you know,
in your story and you're like,can fill that hole.
And there's other times you'rejust like, man, it's just part
of who I am, you know?
Tyler (26:14):
Yeah. I think Carl Carl Jung, the, you know, the early
psychologist called it yourshadow work, right? Like,
there's a lot of thesepersonality traits. There's a
lot of these subconsciousbehaviors we don't outrightly
see. Because we've grown up withthem, We've become kind of face
(26:34):
blind to them.
I think one of the greatestironically, one of the greatest
invitations I ever got from aformer partner was the
opportunity to kind of look atmy shadow and like just accept
it. That accept that it's there.
Danny (26:48):
Yeah.
Tyler (26:49):
Acknowledge that it's there. And it and it at it felt
really really uncomfortablebecause I'm having to admit that
I'm flawed.
Danny (26:57):
Sure.
Tyler (26:58):
And my ego doesn't wanna be flawed. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna
be perfect. Yeah.
And so this person invites me todo it. Even though the fact they
can't do it themselves.
Danny (27:10):
Yeah.
Tyler (27:10):
Right? You now have to you now have you now gain this
accountability to selfawareness.
Danny (27:16):
Sure.
Tyler (27:17):
Just to pay attention. And just to just pause for a
moment and say, how, what did Ijust do? How did I behave?
Danny (27:26):
Right.
Tyler (27:27):
Is it how I want to be represented?
Danny (27:29):
Yeah.
Tyler (27:30):
Is there a pattern, a repeating pattern here that I
need to I need to change? Sure.
Danny (27:36):
Yeah. And and assessment in that instance, right?
Assessment is really a journeyof a journey in itself. Right?
Because like, again, like, youknow, to do the work, like we
talk about, to do the workrequires constant assessment.
Tyler (27:59):
It requires you to really get uncomfortable.
Danny (28:04):
For sure.
Tyler (28:04):
You're going to walk through some hell. Yeah. Yeah.
Definitely. There's no way notto.
Yeah. Can rebrand it and you cansay, ah, this is a nice sauna
day
Danny (28:15):
Yeah.
Tyler (28:15):
Here in hell. I'm learning and I can be grateful
for this wisdom. And I think ithelps you move through it. And
and you're right. There are sometraits where you just you won't
Yep.
You won't change it. But beingaware of it, being aware of the
triggers, being aware of is itpositive or negative allows you
to address it.
Danny (28:35):
Sure.
Tyler (28:37):
But yeah, you you have to have that really kind of
uncomfortable conversation withyourself. And you have to be in
a in a spot where you can say,yeah, it's me. I screwed up. I
it's on me. What can I dobetter?
Yeah. What is this? What if thisis learned behavior? What if
this is, you know, something newI've picked up along the way?
Danny (29:01):
Yeah. I think for myself, even sometimes, like, I'm so
trapped in self preservation orself protection, you know? Which
is probably why I don'tapologize very well because I'm
in self protection and selfpreservation. Right? I'm like
only worried about like mypersonal feelings and you seeing
me as weak.
Which again comes back to thislike to to trying to prove
(29:25):
myself sometimes when I wasyounger that I was not weak, you
know, to my father, to my dad.Yeah. Again, like I said, my
little brother, we'll aboutthese things. My brother and I
will talk about these things andhe'll be like, your childhood
was so different than mine, youknow? And my brother is very
strong.
You know, he's very tough. Butand it's like, he didn't go
(29:47):
through the same things as me,but there's sometimes where
there's like, our traits willlike line up and it'll be like,
and he'll and it'll be like, howthe hell does he feel that way?
You know, he doesn't. Yeah. Butit's some trait, you know, it's
some something, some geneticline where you're like, oh, we
just we just linked up.
Tyler (30:05):
Right. So that yeah. You could you could even say
something like, who's the who'sthe tougher fighter? Nick or
Nate Diaz?
Danny (30:11):
Yeah. Yeah. You don't know?
Tyler (30:14):
I mean Yeah. Yeah. They're both gonna tune me up.
I'll tell you that much. I knowthat much if I if I crossed them
wrong.
Danny (30:20):
They're both crazy as shit.
Tyler (30:22):
They're both crazy as shit. Who's the top they they
probably Yeah.
Danny (30:26):
Have a
Tyler (30:26):
lot of same the same past, but I bet one of them one
of them is going to be that that
Danny (30:32):
Stand out.
Tyler (30:33):
That brother that, you know, doesn't feel any remorse
for tuning the guy up in thebathroom. Whereas the other the
other May, there's going to besome some variance there.
Danny (30:42):
Yeah.
Tyler (30:43):
For the most part, they're they're they're pretty
badass. Couldn't tell youpersonally who it is, who's
tougher. Right? Like I couldn't.I couldn't.
I'll let them figure that out.They can let me know what I
should say. Yeah.
Danny (30:58):
There's also like this this sometimes you get these
longings, like I just wassaying, like longings to and
jealousy sometimes rears itshead if you see something, you
know, like be like, man, I wishI had that. I wish I could be
like that. Yeah. I wish I could,you know, have some of these
(31:21):
traits of like becausesometimes, like, I'm so lost in,
like, emotions and, like,willing to fight to the death,
you know, that I'm that I forgetto be kind, you know? And if you
see somebody be kind, you'relike, oh, man, I could have done
that, you know?
But why didn't I? Why why whydidn't I why didn't I like be
(31:44):
nice to that person? Yeah. Whydid I have to be an asshole in
that moment?
Tyler (31:48):
Right.
Danny (31:48):
You know? And I wonder sometimes if men who can't look
inward or can't figure that out,you know, if that's where they,
if that's where the glitchstarts to happen and then they
just start to like resonate andthen they just start to self
sabotage. And the next thingthey know, they're down this
(32:12):
deep, dark hole and there's nocoming out of it.
Tyler (32:16):
I'm with you except for I'm going to twist it on its ear
a little bit and say there isprobably a class of people where
it never crosses. They like,they think they are God's gift.
Danny (32:26):
Yeah. You're right.
Tyler (32:27):
They are completely to their core sociopathic or
narcissistic.
Danny (32:32):
Yeah.
Tyler (32:32):
They've done nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. They never
will do anything wrong.
Danny (32:35):
Yeah.
Tyler (32:36):
You know, they will certainly point out your flaws.
Danny (32:39):
Yeah.
Tyler (32:40):
They will certainly call you out on your flaws, they will
never address theirs. They don'thave any.
Danny (32:44):
And man, imagine doing that to the wrong guy who
already is beating himself up,you know. Again, like I said, I
I'm, you know, in my mind, Isometimes think like,
Tyler (32:57):
excuse me.
Danny (32:58):
Poor guys, like some guys, like like, you know, we
have friends where you're like,gosh, man, like, just want to
give that guy a hug Yeah. On aregular basis and be like, bro,
you are fine, man. Like, you areso okay. Yeah. You know, you are
so good.
Yeah. And and like you said,when like on weeks when you're
like in the shit and you can'teven give yourself a hug, how
(33:20):
are you? How are you? You know,your pseudo self in that whole
week to try to
Tyler (33:25):
Yeah.
Danny (33:26):
Just to try to get by.
Tyler (33:27):
Well, yeah. And I think you're absolutely right. I think
I benefited from and I'm notsaying this is the answer for
everybody, but I've definitelybenefited from my own therapy
where my own therapist was like,write down a list and it start
with 10 things you can do thatare you would consider self
care. And fall back on that listwhen you're feeling crappy.
(33:51):
Right?
If you're feeling crappy andyour list has, you know, go for
a walk, you go for a walk.
Danny (33:57):
Sure.
Tyler (33:58):
Or whatever whatever it is. And so you you start to
understand and you start to seewhat are my triggers? What are
the triggers? And when I startrecognizing those triggers, what
do I put in place? It's, youknow, it's practice those things
until they become muscle memory.
(34:19):
Right. That's the work we'reasking people to do. Right? You
probably have a protocol atwork. Somebody's coming in at
the wrong altitude and they'reat a certain distance from the
airport.
Danny (34:28):
What do
Tyler (34:29):
you do? Right? There's a protocol I'm sure. Right? You
reroute them and they've got toget back in the queue or
whatever.
Right. Right? And it becomesmuscle memory. You just tell
them they know shit, whateverscrewed up. They got to do it
over again.
Danny (34:40):
Right.
Tyler (34:41):
You know, so start start looking at those protocols. What
are those protocols? Moreimportantly, start journaling
your your your triggers, youknow, and and sadly, triggers
likely will be called out byyour friends, your closest
relationships, your children.They're gonna poke on them.
They're gonna trip on them.
They're not gonna understandthat they're triggers. Sure.
(35:03):
They may it may be a pattern offighting that you you you see
that that represents itself inin your relationship, but like
start noting those things down.Start noting what feelings are
going through your body. Startconnecting the thought with
somatic, the emotion in yourbody.
(35:24):
That's why I love breath work.Right. It clears out a good, a
good breath work instructor getsboth the somatic and the mental
in one foul swoop. And that'swhy breath work is better than
meditation.
Danny (35:39):
Sure. Right. Yeah. Because meditation, you're going
to get lost in that in thethoughts, but then your thoughts
could go down. Like you cansometimes when you're
meditating, you can't reallycontrol your thoughts because it
starts to just start to go.
Mhmm. But with breath work, youcan kind of bring yourself back
to the middle again and be like,alright, I'm just gonna focus on
my breath. I'm not gonna focuson the bullshit that's going on
in my head. No. Yeah, you'reright.
(36:01):
And also, like, opening up andtalking about things helps. It
does help. Like, like therapytherapy is just another way of,
like, opening up and talking toa comfortable to a person that
may not have a vested interest.Right. Cause sometimes like,
let's say like, you're my goodbuddy and I'm in a moment and
I'm grumpy and irritated andyou're like, no, Danny, you're
(36:23):
great, but you're not calling meout on my bullshit or what, you
know, therapist is like, hey,man, this is where you need to
be a little bit better becausethey're not they're not a
cheerleader.
They're just there to to kind ofhelp you and guide you in that
moment. Right. Finding positiveinfluences around to keep around
you. Oh yeah. You know, somebodythat didn't somebody that tells
(36:45):
you how great you are all thetime and doesn't tell you, you
kind of got this irritated, youknow, this thing that you need
to work on.
Yeah. Maybe just a cheerleader,you know? Yeah. And Excuse me,
man. I also think that likeunderstanding your job or the
(37:07):
role that you need at that dayor that time.
Right. Working on those thingsthat, that, that, that you suck
at, you know, I've been reallyworking on trying to apologize a
little bit better to people, youknow, and, and not having any
idea of what you should do orhow you should feel with my
(37:31):
apology. Just apologizing andbeing okay with just
apologizing, you know. And thosemoments are really hard. Yeah.
Especially for somebody like me,you know, like who doesn't
apologize at all. Yeah.Apologize to miss Steven and the
boys, you know? Sure. But forthe most part, like, man, I
(37:52):
probably have to practice thembecause they don't come
naturally to me, you know?
Right. I think what some of itis is I just think we'll both
get over it. Yeah. You know,even if I say some fucked up
things to you. Yeah.
I'll be like, we'll eventuallyboth get over it, you know, and
sometimes I don't know if that'sthe case. I don't know if like,
(38:12):
you know, people get over it orif they just are like, I'll deal
with Danny, but fuck Danny.
Tyler (38:19):
Well, I mean, maybe that is getting over it. Right? Like,
you know
Danny (38:23):
I am kind of putting my own personal context of like,
oh, I want you to forgive me.Please forgive me. Instead of
just being like, oh, maybe thatyou did get over it.
Tyler (38:30):
Yeah. Maybe they did get over it and you're not talking
to those people anymore.
Danny (38:33):
Yeah.
Tyler (38:34):
Yeah. Mean, I wear the same thing about me too. I I
always think I'm funnier in myhead than oftentimes the shit
that comes out of my
Danny (38:41):
mouth. Yeah.
Tyler (38:43):
So I'll tell things that I'm like, I was really funny in
my head, but can kind of beoffensive or Christ. I should
Danny (38:49):
have said that. I should have kept that in my mouth.
Tyler (38:50):
Yeah. I can't believe my inside voice got out again.
Sorry, everybody.
Danny (38:58):
That's funny.
Tyler (38:59):
But I mean, I'm the same way as well, right? Like, I
think intrinsically I wantpeople to like me. It's caused
me to prostitute myself and signup for things I don't often do
but or want to do or, you know,hang on to relationships
probably longer than I should.Sure. But I think we're all
we're all in this journey.
(39:20):
Right? We're on this journey andit lasts our whole lifetime.
However long we're granted. Someof us are granted longer than
than others. Life is meant meantfor joy.
I truly believe life is meantfor for joy. It's not all about
being on this constant trudge ofself improvement. Well, it's
(39:40):
good. You got to spend some timeto stop and smell the roses.
Thank you, Ferris Bueller.
Yeah. You know, you've got totake some time to just say, you
know what? I'm doing bettertoday than I was yesterday.
Danny (39:52):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler (39:53):
You know what I mean? Like, you are constantly telling
me to be kind to myself. Yeah.And I think it's true. You
really do need to be kind toyourself.
Yeah. And if you're not a 100%all the time, it's okay. It's
okay to have a cheat day. Yeah.It's okay to start over.
Yeah. It's okay to backslide andfigure out. Man, I feel like so
(40:18):
much of my life recently hasbeen back to where I was three
years ago.
Danny (40:22):
Right.
Tyler (40:25):
You know, so I'm am I'm working on being kind to myself.
I'm working on new things. I amreally just trying to push out
gratitude. Gratitude and alittle bit of self control. So
that inside voice doesn't comeout.
Danny (40:39):
Come out. Yeah.
Tyler (40:40):
But but gratitude for sure. It always seems to be the
right soil, right the rightmixture to get me through.
Danny (40:46):
Yeah.
Tyler (40:49):
To get me through things.
Danny (40:50):
Yes. Seeing appreciate, you know, seeing the seeing,
like you said, seeing the worldfor what it really is. Yeah. And
being grateful. Yeah.
For what we have. Right.Especially like, like I said,
man, we live in Utah, bro.
Tyler (41:03):
Right.
Danny (41:04):
It is like, dude, an 85 degree day in Utah. Yeah. No
clouds. I don't know if there'smuch out there that you're like,
dude, could it get any better?
Tyler (41:15):
You took me on that run and I did end up sleeping the
rest of the day. No, that'sright. But Yeah. The run was
like the whole time. Danny'slike, this is gorgeous.
And I'm like, yes, I'm justlooking at my shoes so I can get
the next step. But it was. Therewas not a single moment on that
mountain where I we were I weweren't completely surrounded by
Danny (41:35):
Just happiness. Happiness. Even the people.
Tyler (41:38):
I kind of like, I don't know what's going on. It's like
dry. I kinda gotta sneeze.
Danny (41:42):
Your nose was making weird. It was starting to do the
the the
Tyler (41:47):
Yeah. It's there's one there's one loading up in the
chamber. We'll save the peoplefrom that, though.
Danny (41:52):
See. Yeah. Like, and that's kind of like, you know,
the whole idea of acceptance ofwho you are, right? Accepting
who you are. Because like, I doaccept who I am.
I do accept the fact thatsometimes my emotions get the
best of me. And I was talking toMike about this yesterday that
like, you know, I'm people knowwhen I'm when I'm when I'm in a
(42:15):
little bit of a mood. Right? Idon't I don't mask those very
well. But I also don't letmyself off the hook sometimes in
that moment.
Right? Yeah. Man, if I, youknow, if I'm grumpy, my kids
know. If I'm grumpy, my wifeknows. And I'm not, like I said,
I'm not the best of likeacknowledging those things in
(42:36):
that moment.
But going forward, you know, Itry to just remember that like
some of those genetic codethings, man, like you got to be
so helpful, so grateful and soappreciative of, because I think
that it shapes who I am, youknow? I am grateful for my dad,
you know. I am grateful for mydad. I know that sometimes it
(42:57):
may seem like I'm like, youknow, talking down about my dad.
I am grateful for him.
I'm grateful for for the thingsthat like I have, for the traits
that I have, for the fact thatI'm my last name is Elcana
because, you know, I wear thatlike a badge of honor, you know?
And then there's things that I,that you, like you said, just
(43:19):
those things that I just, I'mlike, I don't really want to be
like that. So it's a hole I gotto fill, you know? Yeah. But I
acknowledge it.
Tyler (43:25):
Some days it's there. And that's and sometimes it's the
best you can do. Right? Like wedo as as sons, we put our
fathers on a pedestal. Yeah.
We put our fathers on apedestal. Even if they're man,
how many kids like the oldtrope, the Simpsons trope,
there's Nelson Munson who's likethe bully kid in the Simpsons.
Right? He's the Yeah. Right?
(43:47):
He's always waiting like his forhis father to come back. Right?
Like Yeah. It does not matter.Like, we are infinitely
forgiving as as sons to to ourfathers.
Like, we we want a relationship.We're desperate for that that
male relationship in our in ourlives. And and, you know, we get
what we get at the time. Andhopefully, we're able to
(44:11):
metastasize that getting intowisdom, whether it's good or
whether it's bad. If as long aswe turn it into wisdom, you
know, that that means we have astronger understanding of who we
are.
And that's that's what we'regoing for. Right? A stronger
understanding of what we'regoing for.
Danny (44:28):
Yeah. What you got What you got coming up? You said
you're going to Colorado.
Tyler (44:35):
I am. I'm literally thinking I'm going to get in the
car now. This thing comes uptomorrow and I'm a little bit
hesitant. Yeah. I'm a little bithesitant to to go but I got to
get out there for Saturday by07:30
Danny (44:50):
What's going on?
Tyler (44:51):
In the morning. I'm going to tap out the Tap Out Cancer
Junior's
Danny (44:54):
That's it.
Tyler (44:55):
That's it. I was gonna go hang out with my nephews there
in Mexico. So part of it is justgiving myself the experience of
doing You're
Danny (45:04):
volunteering at the Tap Out for Cancer.
Tyler (45:06):
I'm volunteering to run a table at
Danny (45:07):
Tap Out for Yeah.
Tyler (45:09):
Yeah. So What is it called? Tap Out Cancer? Tap Out
Cancer. Right?
Danny (45:13):
Tap
Tyler (45:14):
Tap Yeah.
Danny (45:15):
Tap Out Cancer.
Tyler (45:15):
Whatever Craig Jones got himself involved in.
Danny (45:17):
Yeah. He gets himself into some fucked up things.
Tyler (45:20):
Yeah. When he was their biggest donor last year.
Danny (45:22):
Really? Yeah. So where's it at in Denver?
Tyler (45:25):
It's in Denver. It's right where I grew up in my old
stomping grounds. Wow.
Danny (45:30):
So you gotta be what time is the tournament start?
Tyler (45:32):
Tournament starts at eight. I gotta be there at
07:30.
Danny (45:36):
I know. Dang. And then are you hauling ass back on
Sunday?
Tyler (45:40):
I think I think I'm going to depending on when the
tournament gets over, I'mprobably just gonna hit the road
after the tournament.
Danny (45:48):
No way. That's kind of
Tyler (45:49):
what I'm thinking. Wow. Leave leave I I wanna leave
tomorrow during the day becauseI wanted to stop in like
Strawberry. Oh. Or notStrawberry.
Excuse me. I want to stop inSteamboat. Go out past
Strawberry.
Danny (46:03):
Okay.
Tyler (46:04):
Stop in Steamboat. I can work from anywhere.
Danny (46:06):
Yeah.
Tyler (46:06):
Yeah. I did a really good job working from the hospital.
I'd like to maybe do that fromthis your
Danny (46:12):
last week? Do you start everything back up?
Tyler (46:16):
So one more week after this.
Danny (46:17):
One more week.
Tyler (46:18):
Yeah. So that's the other reason I'm going. Okay. I'm not
tethered to anything. I haven'thad kids in three weeks just the
way things have shaken shakenout.
Yeah. And so I'm like, I mightas well at least get out of here
for a weekend.
Danny (46:31):
Oh, cool. So That'd be cool.
Tyler (46:34):
Part of it was like Colorado's safe. I know people.
There's people out there thatwanted to travel to Utah for a
while I was in the hospital.They didn't get to see me. So
Danny (46:43):
And the boys are in Mexico?
Tyler (46:45):
Boys are in Cancun right now.
Danny (46:47):
What the heck?
Tyler (46:48):
I know. I told them I'm driving out there to fart on
their pillow. I said, I'm gonnafart on your pillow.
Danny (46:53):
Yeah. Good. They deserve that. Yeah. Yeah.
Good. And that'll be fun.
Tyler (46:59):
Yeah. And then I'm hoping to get back for I'll get right
back into it. We'll be camptime. Yeah. What about you?
What about you got going on? Yougot camp a little bit?
Danny (47:09):
Yeah. We got sponsorship stuff. Still working on
sponsorships, working on tryingto get the fights, all the fight
fees covered for the spiders.Got a couple of things that I've
couple of avenues that I'mworking on. A couple of Vivint,
really trying to get Vivint toto donate to to the cause.
(47:33):
A couple of the business guysworking on. Yeah. That that that
honestly, we're we're justworking hard. Know? Misty and I
both are working hard, really,really, really working hard.
Yeah. I did talk to my unionguy. As of now, I'm going to
(47:55):
stay another year. Okay. In the,in the, in the middle, in the
FAA.
Stay one more My plan was toretire in May of next financial
plan. That was the goal was toget through this winter and then
retire in May. If that's thecase, I'll just work another
year. I'll just work tillDecember and then make a
(48:16):
decision then. Right now I feellike that, you know, we're going
to stay anyways.
Yeah. I'm to stick it out. Andthen we have
Tyler (48:27):
I keep waiting for that day. Danny's going come down
here. Oh yeah, I retired.
Danny (48:30):
Yeah. Today's the day.
Tyler (48:31):
I'm retired.
Danny (48:32):
I know. You know, I man, I I had some up and down days of
like, what would my life looklike retired? You know? If I'm
going to work, I might as wellgo to the I might as well go
down and do air traffic control.
Tyler (48:46):
What you know best. Yeah.
Danny (48:48):
Know, I might as well stick with I've I've talked to a
couple of people and and they'rethey're they're they were their
ideas, they work till 60 tillthey work until they're 65, you
know. They were so stoked tothink that I could work till I'm
55, 57 thinking that holy shit,you know, most people have to
(49:10):
work till they're 65, know.You're retire. Here I am at 47
talking about retirement, youknow? Yeah.
And so man, I talked to Coreytoday. That guy. We're gonna
FaceTime the next time because,know, he's on his boat now.
Yeah. And it's really cool whathe's doing.
(49:36):
It's really cool what he'sdoing. But he also said, I can't
believe I'm giving up what Igave up, which is, you know, the
academies. Yeah. His hiscomfortable lifestyle, you know?
Yeah.
He's over in Florida right nowgoing to different academies,
trying to find something thatresembles what we have and
there's nothing, you know,there's nothing that he has. And
(49:57):
so would be scary to me. Yeah. Idon't have the academy. I don't
have anything to forward to.
Think I'm going to compete onJuly 12. I right now, I'm
technically, I just got to payfor it, but I think I made the
decision to compete on July 12for Grappling Industries.
(50:19):
Tripp's going to compete. Nice.I know a couple of the guys are
thinking about doing it.
Yeah, think I'm going tocompete. I think I think it's
time. I think Yeah.
Tyler (50:28):
I mean, we haven't you didn't you haven't competed
since we last competed together.
Danny (50:32):
We last competed. Yeah.
Tyler (50:33):
And I'm not in competing shape personally. But I remember
leaving that being like, I'm notcompeting again until I change
some things about who I am. So
Danny (50:43):
feel good. I feel like I feel like I'm ready for that. I
feel like I'm I feel like it'sit's time, you know, to get back
out there and put myself backout there. And so, yeah, that's
that's that's that really it'sreally, we're kind of in a
little small of a groove, like,in a like, a little bit of a
like a like a like a little lowbecause we're just working hard
(51:05):
and trying to keep enjoying thedays that Misty and I like can
have the whole day with eachother.
Tyler (51:13):
Yeah.
Danny (51:15):
I had a pretty good men's group on Friday. I'll tell you
offline of I'm so bummed. Wasreally good. Actually, I I keep
telling you this, that God worksin mysterious ways. Yeah.
And in my in my mind, the waythat it worked out was was God
had a had a hand in how itworked out. And and when I tell
(51:37):
you, like, it's not that I don'twant to tell people online. It's
just not my story to tell. Butwhen I tell you, you'll be like,
oh, it's kind of weird.
Tyler (51:42):
Yeah. Because what happens in men's group stays in
men's group unless you've gotthe the secret men's group
handshake, which I got. And Ithink that's part of the what
makes it this the safe space toto go to go work in. And so
that's cool. I'm excited.
I definitely have some FOMO. Ican't even I I mean, I can't
even fathom like my brain. Ijust space it. I was looking
(52:04):
forward to it. And then nextthing I know, it was Saturday
evening.
And I'm like, what?
Danny (52:10):
And I was texting you to come over for the fights.
Tyler (52:12):
Yeah. And I was just like, I was just a complete
mess. Anyways, I think we wrapit there, man. I appreciate you.
It was fun.
I'm so grateful for you.
Danny (52:19):
Thank you.
Tyler (52:20):
I'm sorry I missed men's group. So grateful that you've
put that on. People areinterested, how would they would
they can we are you opening itup?
Danny (52:28):
No. So right now it's just invite only from other the
men in the group.
Tyler (52:34):
In the group.
Danny (52:35):
Right now, because of some of the things that are
going on in the men's Yeah. Youknow, it's it's best if we just,
you know, we have right now justkeeping it to if you get an
invite from if if you want toinvite somebody. Sure. That
person is more than welcome tocome along to men's group. We
(52:57):
have we have sponsorshipsavailable for the super fights
for the camp.
I'd love to work with thecommunity. I'd love to get out
there and talk and, like, putyour name out there, put your
business out there. Yeah, man.Yeah. It's great.
Tyler (53:19):
Cool.
Danny (53:20):
It's a good it's a great it's a great time right now.
Tyler (53:22):
Such such it's too fun to be inside recording a podcast.
Let's get out there and live thesummer.
Danny (53:27):
Let's do it.
Tyler (53:28):
Alright. Okay. Appreciate you.
Danny (53:29):
Appreciate
Tyler (53:30):
you. Hey. We'll see you next episode.
Danny (53:31):
Cheers. Cheers.
probably will be on the podcast.
Tyler (00:10):
And it will. Welcome back.
Danny (00:12):
We're back. Red button. Right?
Tyler (00:14):
Yeah. Yeah. We're good. We're good to go.
Danny (00:15):
Ready to go. Record.
Tyler (00:17):
We are recording. I know it's getting it's been an
interesting year. Obviously, wesay that every year.
Danny (00:23):
Yeah. True. We're just talking about our weeks. Yeah.
You had we had some crazy stuff.
You had a you had a silentretreat.
Tyler (00:31):
I went on a silent retreat with so my therapist and
somebody he's known for a longtime who's gone to several South
American countries has kind offallen into this shaman. He he's
he's a self self built shaman.Okay. I always see a white dude
with red hair. And I thinkshaman and I'm like, yeah.
(00:53):
Right.
Danny (00:53):
Sure you are, buddy.
Tyler (00:54):
Yeah. Sure you are. Yeah. And and and I don't mean to be
skeptical. I mean, I think a lotof that has to do with my
religious background growing up.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Likeanybody can slap on a title. And
the more the more, you know,kind of fantastic Yeah. You
know, your works are, the more Ikind of get a little but it was
cool.
To sit in silence for fortyeight hours or however long we
(01:17):
were, it was from basicallyFriday, 5PM to Saturday, 5PM.
Danny (01:23):
Oh, wow.
Tyler (01:24):
No contact with the outside world out in the West
Desert.
Danny (01:29):
It was good?
Tyler (01:29):
It was good.
Danny (01:30):
How many people?
Tyler (01:31):
There was it was a small group and there was eight of us
total.
Danny (01:34):
And you drove your Bronco and slept in the Bronco?
Tyler (01:37):
Drove the Bronco, slept in the Bronco. They did have
like cool little tent sites withthe chair set up and I'm kind of
regretting I didn't do that. Ijust pulled the old C card and
was like, I don't know that mybody will do good on an air
mattress. Yeah. Not that it doesgreat in rooftop tent, but
Danny (01:53):
it's slightly more comfortable. And then they did
classes? What did they do?
Tyler (01:58):
Yeah. So they led us through his little routine.
There was like a a portion ofbreath work.
Danny (02:07):
Okay.
Tyler (02:10):
It was I don't know. I fell asleep during the breath
work. So Good. I always judge mybreath work by like how how I
feel after.
Danny (02:19):
Yeah.
Tyler (02:19):
Usually is pretty energizing.
Danny (02:21):
This time you were tired.
Tyler (02:23):
This time I was tired and I just kinda
Danny (02:24):
Zonked out.
Tyler (02:25):
Zonked out. And it's okay. Was I think it was another
session. I think I may have beenmore or less a novelty there.
Right?
Like before we went silent atfive, we had already been silent
on our phones for since 02:00.We already started our fast
since 02:00, but then we startedsilent. Like, did introductions.
Danny (02:44):
Oh. Just kind of
Tyler (02:45):
be able to tell my story.
Danny (02:46):
Oh, cool.
Tyler (02:47):
There's some younger guys there.
Danny (02:48):
Oh, that's cool.
Tyler (02:49):
I'm just gonna kinda share.
Danny (02:51):
And everybody just kind of like, just one twenty four
hour
Tyler (02:56):
Yeah.
Danny (02:56):
Session of no no electronics.
Tyler (03:00):
No electronics. Just kind of Yeah. Inside the tent, there
were 10 cards, like questionsfor journaling. So wrote a lot
in my Got up early for forsunrise. Did sunrise around the
fire.
Danny (03:17):
No Ayahuasca?
Tyler (03:19):
No. The guy that the guy that the shaman says he does
he's used Ayahuasca andmushrooms in his ceremonies.
Danny (03:26):
Oh, really?
Tyler (03:26):
He just because my therapist is trying this out, he
picked a select group of I thinkhis
Danny (03:35):
Just his folks. Yeah. His his the people he could really
trust on. Yeah. That's cool.
Yeah. Because I didn't hear fromyou at all on Friday.
Tyler (03:43):
I know. I felt bad.
Danny (03:44):
Men's group.
Tyler (03:45):
I think I spaced I I was just realizing I spaced men's
group on Friday morning. Yeah. Ilike had such a shitty like,
I've fallen into really badhabits. So when you sent the
topic for today, was like, thatis a good one to talk about.
Because I am really struggling.
I'm really, really strugglingwith some things from my past
that are just
Danny (04:05):
Showing up.
Tyler (04:06):
Showing up.
Danny (04:07):
Yeah. I was thinking about it today. Like I have a
every once in a while, you know,your thought process goes into
where, where like some of yourtraits come from is what I was
thinking about. Like, what aremy what some of my traits come
from. Some of my some of thethings that I'm happy about,
some of the things that I don'tlike, you know, the good, the
bad, the indifferent types ofthings, you know, but where do
(04:28):
they come from?
My boys and I were talking aboutjust how, you know, your genetic
line and your genetic code, youcan't get away from it
sometimes. Right? And it's theresometimes, you know, turmoil
right now in our country isinsane. You know, it's like
crazy. It's almost seems likeCalifornia is a different
(04:49):
country.
Tyler (04:49):
Dude, what's happening in California? Was just saying like
my grandparents left the lasttime the Koreans got on the
roof. Yeah. And they're on theroof again.
Danny (04:58):
I know.
Tyler (04:58):
It's like '97.
Danny (04:59):
Makes me so sad. Like makes me like think to myself
like, gosh, how lucky I am. Ilive in this bubble.
Tyler (05:05):
Right.
Danny (05:06):
You know, I mean, like, I can imagine driving down the
road and seeing what they'reseeing. It almost looks it
almost looks fake.
Tyler (05:15):
It really does. Like throwing rocks at cars.
Danny (05:18):
Rocks and stuff. And like, you see the police cars
just sitting there and they'rebroken and it's like, man, what
is going on there? And I thinkthat sometimes that kind of
stuff like triggers my emotionalstate of like, oh, how did you
get to a point where you thinkthat that's like, to do, you
know, like I get it, man.Protests. I get it.
Like our country is one whereyou're allowed to protest, where
(05:40):
like things happen and you'relike, I don't like what's
happening. Right? Mhmm. But tolike go crazy like that to me is
like, what in the
Tyler (05:47):
world? Destruction of property never makes sense to
me. Yeah. To adult Tyler, toyoung Tyler, like to young
immature Tyler, the destructionof property seemed like a
perfectly viable option.
Danny (06:00):
Yeah.
Tyler (06:01):
Right? I'm just screwing over these big multimillion
dollar corporations.
Danny (06:04):
Screw them.
Tyler (06:05):
Screw them. They have insurance. They have the money.
Danny (06:07):
Yeah. They'll be able to be
Tyler (06:08):
They'll they'll be fine. And for the most part, they they
were. Right? Like, so I guess II see it. I think as an adult,
I'm like, okay, mostly I enjoymy freedoms and I don't think I
do good in jail.
Danny (06:20):
Yeah, yeah.
Tyler (06:21):
I got a real kissable face,
Danny (06:23):
I think. Yeah, yeah. I think that my size does not bode
well for me. Yeah. I'mdefinitely gonna be somebody,
hey, come sit on my lap.
Yeah. Like, no, I'm not going tojail. You know, when I was when
when we we had after men'sgroup, I ended up going down to
(06:46):
Misty's dad's on Saturday.Friday's men's group. Then
Saturday, you know, you haveI've got one day off and I ended
up going and and really doingsomething really cool with
Professor, which was teachingthe security, how to do security
(07:07):
security, like a securitydetail, like self defense
almost.
It was wild. Oh, wow. Oh mygosh. I told him, I'm like, what
a crazy thing to include me ininto that thing because it's
self defense on another level.Right?
So I, you know, it's it's it'sit was so cool. The the the
(07:28):
little nuances of that kind ofself defense and how you're as a
security detail, how you controlcontrol things, you know? And I
was like, yeah, what a crazywhat a cool thing to do.
Tyler (07:42):
What was the thing that surprised you most about, like,
maybe the change in tactic?
Danny (07:47):
Everything was the same. It's line of leverage, T
position. But it was like, why?And if I'm if I walk up to a
person and I grab them asopposed to like like a woman
walks up and gently puts theirhand on their elbow. Same
(08:07):
concept.
But your your your spider sensesare probably going to be a
little bit less active if it's aif it's this nice lady coming
up. But she's doing the samething. Right. She's actually
gaining line of leverage bygrabbing your elbow and pushing
you. And now when you try toreact, there's something you go
to T position.
(08:28):
And I was like, woah, this isamazing. Plus all of the weapons
stuff and anything that wasgoing anything else on top of
that, there was more. There wasmore to it. There's this there's
some some cool techniques andwas so lucky to be a part of
that. And then, you know, Mistyand I went to the lake and then
(08:48):
I kind of got a little ahead ofmyself.
But then Sunday I went down tosee her dad. She had gone down
there. Her dad had surgery andgosh, he was he's such an
important part of my life. Yeah.To see him on the bed, I was
like, man, a little emotionalbecause I don't like seeing him
like that.
We were talking and he wastelling me some funny shit. And
just just that idea of of beinghelpless as a man. He was
(09:11):
telling me, he's like, you know,I don't know if he's like, I
don't know if you know this, buttoilets are not built for men.
They're built for women to sitdown, not men to sit down. And I
was like, what do you mean?
He's like, yeah, like, I can'tsit down. Like, it's just it's
too low. Oh. It's too low. Andand his back, you know, he had
back surgeries.
Yeah. Yeah. It's too low. He'slike, I I feel like I can't go.
(09:32):
And I'm like, oh, I never even
Tyler (09:34):
thought about was gonna say, has he ever tried to take a
shit standing
Danny (09:36):
up? Well
Tyler (09:37):
I get the low. I get the low. I I didn't realize that
there was a difference until Iactually moved to Utah. And
whoever owned our house musthave been real big because the
toilets like my feet weredangling.
Danny (09:49):
Was like,
Tyler (09:50):
that's You got the extra large toilet.
Danny (09:52):
That's the way to go. Yeah. Yeah. He had to buy like
this other thing to to help himto help it so that he could, he
could sit comfortably. Yeah.
But I was thinking about likehow, how helpless you would
feel, you know, you would feelin those instances as you get
older, you know, and he wastelling me something funny. He
was just, he was like a littlelucid and a little talkative and
sleepy and at the same time, alittle drugged up and he was
(10:15):
just making me laugh. Then, itwas a, it was, it brought a lot
of, like, ideas of to me of likemy childhood and like how my
childhood shaped who I am today.Right? And and then there's
these traits that I that everyonce in a while show themselves,
(10:35):
you know, and I'm like, man,where did that come from?
You know, I don't apologizewell. You know, I don't I don't
apologize well. I fight. I'llfight and I fight hard if I need
to fight. Like I'm like fightinghard to fight, you know?
And so I started to like think alittle bit about those those
ideas. I listened to a Columbinepodcast. I don't even know why
(10:59):
it just came up on my feed Andoh my gosh. Talk about
Tyler (11:03):
Some wackadoos. Did you did they read his manifesto? The
They did
Danny (11:07):
read his manifesto. It was more of like
Tyler (11:08):
Summarizer.
Danny (11:10):
Some of the kids that had had there was the kids that had
that that had survived.
Tyler (11:15):
Oh, oh.
Danny (11:15):
Some of the people that had survived and oh my gosh.
Talk about talk about a littleemotional. I was trying to think
I was it was 97 when thathappened.
Tyler (11:24):
99. 98.
Danny (11:28):
I think it was 97. You should Google that. That's a
good thing to Google.
Tyler (11:32):
Well, I mean, because I was a junior in high school. It
would have been '98, '99.
Danny (11:36):
'99, you think?
Tyler (11:37):
I thought so.
Danny (11:38):
Maybe it
Tyler (11:39):
was I thought it was Oct or excuse me, 04/20/1999.
Danny (11:42):
And I thought it was 04/20/1997. But
Tyler (11:47):
Either way.
Danny (11:47):
Either way. Let's I'll let's Google it. We'll And then
yeah, I was trying to put myselfback in that position where I
was at. '98. April twentieth ofninety eight, I was in the
military.
I thought about that today. Wasin basic training. So wouldn't
have been it would have you'reright. It's either '97 or '99.
I'm not sure which one it is.
(12:09):
I would try to put myself there.Yeah. I try to put myself in
that position of what those kidswent through and
Tyler (12:15):
As as the reactive kids to yeah. It's interesting
because Jordan Peterson hasyou've you can hear him talk
about the actual Dylan and whatis the other kid's name?
Danny (12:28):
Dylan and
Tyler (12:30):
Whatever. They're they're relatively unimportant at this
point. We don't yeah.
Danny (12:33):
Yeah. It's funny how they people talk. When people talk,
they're like, yeah, these guysdon't even that doesn't matter.
Tyler (12:38):
But he's he talks about them and specifically some of
the things that that likepsychologically that they wrote.
Like he makes a big deal aboutthe manifesto and how people
should go back and read hismanifesto because it's probably
one of the more potent pieces ofI think it was Dylan Klebold
Danny (12:57):
Yeah. I think you're and Eric Harris. Oh, yeah. You're
right. I think that's theirnames.
Yeah. And Sounds familiar.
Tyler (13:04):
Yeah. They said I think it was Dylan Klebold's diary
where he talks about them. Yeah.Like about like killing them and
like what he's gonna do to them.And he's like, this is you see
very similar writing and like,you know, high ranking Nazi
officials and like how they talkabout them.
They're not people.
Danny (13:23):
Yeah. Yeah. They're not the people. Yeah. You grew up in
how far from Littleton were youwhere did you do you know?
Tyler (13:30):
I mean, there's so many high schools in that kind of
suburban Yeah. But they werepart of yeah. They were part of
Littleton School District. Theyweren't far. We had teachers
come.
We would, you know, that wewould play them and they were
like in our conference. Weren'tthey weren't far. The scope of
things, my former sister-in-lawwent to a rival high school in
(13:55):
the same district.
Danny (13:56):
Okay.
Tyler (13:57):
King Carl. She would have gone yeah. Could have gone to
Columbine as well, I guess,depending on where they
Danny (14:02):
Oh, where they lived?
Tyler (14:03):
Where they lived.
Danny (14:04):
Yeah. Just the idea of like, you know, put, you know,
like I said, just some of thosethings shaped, they shaped us.
You know, I was out of highschool at that point, but it
definitely shaped, it definitelyshaped our lives of like, Oh
yeah. Knowing that they, whatthey actually like, you know,
their, their, how to get to thatlevel of like, like you said,
(14:25):
like they're just, they don'tsee people as people, you know,
they're turned off from thatkind of a thing. And it's funny
because like for me as in,because because of January, you
know, it's men's mental health.
There's so many times whereyou're like, man, how did that
person get to those places? Youknow, how did they, what, what
character traits of their lifeor their genetic code got them
(14:47):
to where they're got them tothat point, you know? And and
then you look at your ownchildren sometimes and go, oh my
gosh, my kids are my kids areokay. You know, they're not
they're crazy as shit, but butbut our genetic code is okay.
Like, we don't have any kind oflike glitches in our genetic
code.
Tyler (15:06):
Right. And what are the signs? Like, what are the signs
that that kind of stuff ishappening? Because I can see a
learned pattern of helplessnessgetting you to a point of of
depression. Right?
They
Danny (15:20):
talk a little bit about, I guess, the Dylan the Dylan
kid. He was a he was like afollower. He didn't have very
many friends and he Yeah. Andthat Eric Harris kid, you know,
was looking for kids to do thiswith and just got lucky and
found this, this kid that wasall in like him, you know. And,
(15:42):
you know, I again, like my, my,my childhood, there were some
things in my childhood thatshaped me, you know, my, you
know, what's even funnier isthat me and my brother, same
dad, but because of because ofmy age and our age gap, my
brother didn't go through thesame things that I went through
(16:03):
with my dad.
You know, my when I was older,you know, but my dad was
drinking a lot and I know why Ifight so hard sometimes. You
know, it's like when I was akid, he wouldn't have gladiator
fights with me and my friends.Him and his buddies would get
drunk, you know, and then hewould have me and my friends
(16:23):
fight. You know, was probablylike five, six years old when
that's the time I can rememberfighting. You know?
Tyler (16:30):
When your father is your superhero.
Danny (16:32):
Yeah. And he's like, you should fight. And it's like,
okay. And I remember one time Ifought this kid. I say fight,
but it's, I mean, it wasn't evenlike, I mean, I just kicked the
shit out of him.
He was my friend, but my dad andhis buddy got drunk and, and I
remember me and him fighting andthis kid was so afraid. He was
so afraid. He scratched mereally bad on my face as I was
(16:55):
as we were fighting. And Iremember like, remember thinking
this is not fun, you know, and Iwas young, young, young, you
know, and yeah, my for thelongest time I would be like, my
dad would be like, no, youfight, you fight, you fight, you
be the one to punch. You be theperson to do that kind of a
thing, you know?
(17:15):
And those character traits, likeI steal sometimes, like, you
know, I fight to the deathsometimes, you know, with with
that with that. And I think thatthat little tiny trait, you
know, it was something that Ihad to like really fight to not
do to my own boys. Sometimespeople would be like, hey, woah,
(17:36):
woah, woah, you're being alittle rough on your boys. I'm
thinking, you don't even knowwhat rough You
Tyler (17:40):
have no idea.
Danny (17:41):
Yeah. I mean, the way that I grew up, I mean, this is
pretty soft compared to what theway that I grew up.
Tyler (17:46):
It sounds intense.
Danny (17:47):
It was really it was crazy. Like, mean, like, when I
tell you, like, it would be likein a room like this and his
friends would be sitting aroundme and my me and the kid me and
a kid would be fighting.Sometimes it wasn't even a kid
that I knew. Just just some kidthat they find and I'd fight I'd
fight that kid. I was young.
Like I said, I mean, I wasprobably like, you know, my dad
(18:08):
maybe like from five, six,seven, eight. I remember the
playground fighting. It kind ofshaped my life. Like when I was
in grade, this is even crazier.When I was in grade, we had
gladiator fights in thebathrooms and you'd go to school
and they'd say, hey, Danny, it'syour day to day.
Make sure you go to the bathroomat like this time. And you'd go
(18:31):
in there and
Tyler (18:31):
whoever else is in
Danny (18:32):
there, there'd be a fight. And one day it was one of
my really, really, really goodfriends. And I had a hard time
fighting him, but he didn't. Andthat kind of caught me off guard
because we were really goodfriends. But, yeah, it was my
day to fight and I fought in inthe bathroom.
Tyler (18:48):
That's crazy.
Danny (18:49):
Then later on, my my cousins my cousins and I, we
grew up together. We same thing.Like, we fought they we fought
we would go in the bathroom andjust pick a random kid and one
of my cousins would fight himfor for just like no reason. And
sometimes, man, those kids wouldbe, you know, you'd get like I'd
I'd get this feeling of likeguilt because those kids did not
(19:12):
want to fight. Yeah.
You know, and they're they're inthere crying and stuff. And my
cousins are, you know, kickingthe shit out this And I had to
fight really hard not to havethose same tendencies with with
my boys.
Tyler (19:26):
So back up a because I think we've all probably
experienced this. But do you doyou recall specific behavior
from when you were a child thatyour dad would do and you'd be
like, I'm never doing that?
Danny (19:41):
Yeah.
Tyler (19:41):
And then waking up someday as an adult or like
stopping yourself mid behavioras an adult and you're like,
shit, that's the same I know.Thing my dad did.
Danny (19:53):
Well, I think
Tyler (19:53):
I told
Danny (19:53):
you this. My dad is name we have the same we we go to the
same thing. Right? Your dad'sname is your dad's name is
Douglas and my dad, his name isDanny. Yeah.
Yeah. And they call my dad BigDanny. Uh-huh. And they call me
Little Danny.
Tyler (20:04):
Okay.
Danny (20:05):
And, yeah, there's times when I'll say something and I'll
be like, oh my god. I sound justlike my dad. Yeah. You know? And
I'll do something.
I'll, you know, I'll say or dosomething and my brothers and
sisters will be like, oh my god,you sound like just like dad.
And I'll be like, the fuck? Donot say that about me.
Tyler (20:28):
I I wonder. Right? Like, because I know plenty of men and
humans in general that havelike, being like their dad is
not necessarily a bad thing. No.And I wouldn't say that being
like my father is necessarily abad thing.
He's made a lot of poordecisions. He's had to own them.
Yeah. And I've been very blessedto learn via negativa. Like by
(20:52):
watching him, he's filled in alot of blanks for myself.
Danny (20:56):
Yeah.
Tyler (20:56):
And I think I've gone through a significant period of
time where, yeah, I didn't wantto be like that. I don't want to
be like that. I don't think hewanted to be like that. Yeah.
But I always tell my childrenand I think this is true for my
father that like, I mean, heonly could give me what he had.
(21:17):
It's his level of education.Yeah. And and a lot of that is
is is is broken or stuck in avery childhood state. And so
I've had to like tell mychildren like my floor is or my
ceiling is your floor. Like youare going to take off from
wherever I'm at.
You're going to inherit thesetraits no matter what, whether
(21:37):
you like them or not. Likethere's going to be some learned
behavior. We've spent enoughtime together. Some bad habit or
good excuse me, good habitsgonna sneak through. Right.
Excuse me. I got the I been onand off pills and like I started
back on one of them that givesme the worst heartburn.
Danny (21:57):
Oh, no.
Tyler (21:58):
I'm so over it.
Danny (21:59):
Yeah. But
Tyler (22:01):
yeah, I think I I think that quite a bit. What I take
away from my childhood, liketraits that I don't necessarily
like about myself. I've noticedthis week, writing shit down.
I've gotten out of the habit ofwriting shit down so I'm missing
stuff. Oh.
I damn near missed a weddingtoday.
Danny (22:22):
Yeah.
Tyler (22:23):
Had I completely forgot. I missed men's group. You'd send
out the text messages, you sendout the text messages and like
it was like, when did I realize?Probably when you texted me on
Saturday, I was like, oh, shit.I spaced it.
There was no reason that I couldnot make it other than the fact
I just forgot to write it downand I didn't
Danny (22:42):
go. Right.
Tyler (22:44):
And that's just a bad habit that I've got I got as a
kid. I learned it in school. Andso I wouldn't say that any of
these traits that I've picked upare necessarily directly
correlated to my parents. But Iwould say that they may be
correlated to the situation as awhole. Like the fact that I'm a
(23:05):
bad student, the fact that Ifeel like I'm stuck in kind of
some fight or flight, the factthat I don't really trust very
easy.
It takes a long time to get in.
Danny (23:14):
Sure.
Tyler (23:18):
Even wanting a bigger family like I came from a very
broken home. I was alwaysjealous of the families that
had, you know, big familygatherings. Right. Those I think
are things that have held meback for sure as an adult and I
had to work really hard to kindof overcome some of that that
(23:40):
behavior.
Danny (23:41):
Yeah. And as men, you're, you know, we talk about this a
lot and I know people know this,like, you're not given tools to
deal with some of the baggagebullshit that that that you
bring to the table. Right? Itreally does really, really,
really does boil down to, areyou willing to address some of
(24:02):
these things that you're justyou're you're just given. Right.
You know, like you don't have achoice. Like you're just given
these things. Like we talkedabout, like, like you say
something or you do something,you're like, fuck, I sound just
like my dad or I sound you know,there's lots of things that I
would man, if you said if yousaid, man, you sound like your
dad, I would it would ruin myday. Yeah. It would ruin my day.
(24:25):
It would ruin me. Yeah. And backin the day, like back, you know,
maybe ten, fifteen years ago, itwas everything I could do to not
be a single ounce like my dad.And if something came through,
man, I would be, I would bebummed for, I would be, you
know, heartbroken. Yeah.
(24:46):
If Misty and them sometimessaid, God, you sound like your
dad. I'd be like, that would I'dbe heartbroken because it I have
so many bad and negativeconnotations about my dad, you
know? And then and then there'slike sometimes when I'm like,
oh, I'll remember something.I'll be like, oh my gosh. Yeah.
(25:06):
And it will be with my dad. Itwould be a it would be like a
really cool experience with mydad, you know? Yeah. One thing
that I one thing that, you know,my dad and I never my dad and I
never tell each other that welove each other. Never.
It would never. Like, know, ifif if I tell my dad I love him,
it's it tastes weird, you know?But my boys and I, every day,
(25:28):
all day, a 100 times a day, Iwill tell my kids that I love
them. Yeah. Because it'ssomething that I think, like, I
long for it.
Because I tell you, I I I get a,like, gross feeling if my dad
and I say, I love each other.It's it's the weirdest thing.
Tyler (25:43):
It'd be one of those weird, awkward moments.
Danny (25:46):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hugging or anything like that. Like, you
know, I mean, I don't rememberthe last time.
Yeah. I don't see my dad veryoften.
Tyler (25:53):
You don't?
Danny (25:54):
You know? But my boys and I like we hug all the time. You
know, we talk all the time andit really was a valid point. And
I think some of those traits,like some of those things you
can you can write. Like yousaid, there's holes, you know,
in your story and you're like,can fill that hole.
And there's other times you'rejust like, man, it's just part
of who I am, you know?
Tyler (26:14):
Yeah. I think Carl Carl Jung, the, you know, the early
psychologist called it yourshadow work, right? Like,
there's a lot of thesepersonality traits. There's a
lot of these subconsciousbehaviors we don't outrightly
see. Because we've grown up withthem, We've become kind of face
(26:34):
blind to them.
I think one of the greatestironically, one of the greatest
invitations I ever got from aformer partner was the
opportunity to kind of look atmy shadow and like just accept
it. That accept that it's there.
Danny (26:48):
Yeah.
Tyler (26:49):
Acknowledge that it's there. And it and it at it felt
really really uncomfortablebecause I'm having to admit that
I'm flawed.
Danny (26:57):
Sure.
Tyler (26:58):
And my ego doesn't wanna be flawed. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna
be perfect. Yeah.
And so this person invites me todo it. Even though the fact they
can't do it themselves.
Danny (27:10):
Yeah.
Tyler (27:10):
Right? You now have to you now have you now gain this
accountability to selfawareness.
Danny (27:16):
Sure.
Tyler (27:17):
Just to pay attention. And just to just pause for a
moment and say, how, what did Ijust do? How did I behave?
Danny (27:26):
Right.
Tyler (27:27):
Is it how I want to be represented?
Danny (27:29):
Yeah.
Tyler (27:30):
Is there a pattern, a repeating pattern here that I
need to I need to change? Sure.
Danny (27:36):
Yeah. And and assessment in that instance, right?
Assessment is really a journeyof a journey in itself. Right?
Because like, again, like, youknow, to do the work, like we
talk about, to do the workrequires constant assessment.
Tyler (27:59):
It requires you to really get uncomfortable.
Danny (28:04):
For sure.
Tyler (28:04):
You're going to walk through some hell. Yeah. Yeah.
Definitely. There's no way notto.
Yeah. Can rebrand it and you cansay, ah, this is a nice sauna
day
Danny (28:15):
Yeah.
Tyler (28:15):
Here in hell. I'm learning and I can be grateful
for this wisdom. And I think ithelps you move through it. And
and you're right. There are sometraits where you just you won't
Yep.
You won't change it. But beingaware of it, being aware of the
triggers, being aware of is itpositive or negative allows you
to address it.
Danny (28:35):
Sure.
Tyler (28:37):
But yeah, you you have to have that really kind of
uncomfortable conversation withyourself. And you have to be in
a in a spot where you can say,yeah, it's me. I screwed up. I
it's on me. What can I dobetter?
Yeah. What is this? What if thisis learned behavior? What if
this is, you know, something newI've picked up along the way?
Danny (29:01):
Yeah. I think for myself, even sometimes, like, I'm so
trapped in self preservation orself protection, you know? Which
is probably why I don'tapologize very well because I'm
in self protection and selfpreservation. Right? I'm like
only worried about like mypersonal feelings and you seeing
me as weak.
Which again comes back to thislike to to trying to prove
(29:25):
myself sometimes when I wasyounger that I was not weak, you
know, to my father, to my dad.Yeah. Again, like I said, my
little brother, we'll aboutthese things. My brother and I
will talk about these things andhe'll be like, your childhood
was so different than mine, youknow? And my brother is very
strong.
You know, he's very tough. Butand it's like, he didn't go
(29:47):
through the same things as me,but there's sometimes where
there's like, our traits willlike line up and it'll be like,
and he'll and it'll be like, howthe hell does he feel that way?
You know, he doesn't. Yeah. Butit's some trait, you know, it's
some something, some geneticline where you're like, oh, we
just we just linked up.
Tyler (30:05):
Right. So that yeah. You could you could even say
something like, who's the who'sthe tougher fighter? Nick or
Nate Diaz?
Danny (30:11):
Yeah. Yeah. You don't know?
Tyler (30:14):
I mean Yeah. Yeah. They're both gonna tune me up.
I'll tell you that much. I knowthat much if I if I crossed them
wrong.
Danny (30:20):
They're both crazy as shit.
Tyler (30:22):
They're both crazy as shit. Who's the top they they
probably Yeah.
Danny (30:26):
Have a
Tyler (30:26):
lot of same the same past, but I bet one of them one
of them is going to be that that
Danny (30:32):
Stand out.
Tyler (30:33):
That brother that, you know, doesn't feel any remorse
for tuning the guy up in thebathroom. Whereas the other the
other May, there's going to besome some variance there.
Danny (30:42):
Yeah.
Tyler (30:43):
For the most part, they're they're they're pretty
badass. Couldn't tell youpersonally who it is, who's
tougher. Right? Like I couldn't.I couldn't.
I'll let them figure that out.They can let me know what I
should say. Yeah.
Danny (30:58):
There's also like this this sometimes you get these
longings, like I just wassaying, like longings to and
jealousy sometimes rears itshead if you see something, you
know, like be like, man, I wishI had that. I wish I could be
like that. Yeah. I wish I could,you know, have some of these
(31:21):
traits of like becausesometimes, like, I'm so lost in,
like, emotions and, like,willing to fight to the death,
you know, that I'm that I forgetto be kind, you know? And if you
see somebody be kind, you'relike, oh, man, I could have done
that, you know?
But why didn't I? Why why whydidn't I why didn't I like be
(31:44):
nice to that person? Yeah. Whydid I have to be an asshole in
that moment?
Tyler (31:48):
Right.
Danny (31:48):
You know? And I wonder sometimes if men who can't look
inward or can't figure that out,you know, if that's where they,
if that's where the glitchstarts to happen and then they
just start to like resonate andthen they just start to self
sabotage. And the next thingthey know, they're down this
(32:12):
deep, dark hole and there's nocoming out of it.
Tyler (32:16):
I'm with you except for I'm going to twist it on its ear
a little bit and say there isprobably a class of people where
it never crosses. They like,they think they are God's gift.
Danny (32:26):
Yeah. You're right.
Tyler (32:27):
They are completely to their core sociopathic or
narcissistic.
Danny (32:32):
Yeah.
Tyler (32:32):
They've done nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. They never
will do anything wrong.
Danny (32:35):
Yeah.
Tyler (32:36):
You know, they will certainly point out your flaws.
Danny (32:39):
Yeah.
Tyler (32:40):
They will certainly call you out on your flaws, they will
never address theirs. They don'thave any.
Danny (32:44):
And man, imagine doing that to the wrong guy who
already is beating himself up,you know. Again, like I said, I
I'm, you know, in my mind, Isometimes think like,
Tyler (32:57):
excuse me.
Danny (32:58):
Poor guys, like some guys, like like, you know, we
have friends where you're like,gosh, man, like, just want to
give that guy a hug Yeah. On aregular basis and be like, bro,
you are fine, man. Like, you areso okay. Yeah. You know, you are
so good.
Yeah. And and like you said,when like on weeks when you're
like in the shit and you can'teven give yourself a hug, how
(33:20):
are you? How are you? You know,your pseudo self in that whole
week to try to
Tyler (33:25):
Yeah.
Danny (33:26):
Just to try to get by.
Tyler (33:27):
Well, yeah. And I think you're absolutely right. I think
I benefited from and I'm notsaying this is the answer for
everybody, but I've definitelybenefited from my own therapy
where my own therapist was like,write down a list and it start
with 10 things you can do thatare you would consider self
care. And fall back on that listwhen you're feeling crappy.
(33:51):
Right?
If you're feeling crappy andyour list has, you know, go for
a walk, you go for a walk.
Danny (33:57):
Sure.
Tyler (33:58):
Or whatever whatever it is. And so you you start to
understand and you start to seewhat are my triggers? What are
the triggers? And when I startrecognizing those triggers, what
do I put in place? It's, youknow, it's practice those things
until they become muscle memory.
(34:19):
Right. That's the work we'reasking people to do. Right? You
probably have a protocol atwork. Somebody's coming in at
the wrong altitude and they'reat a certain distance from the
airport.
Danny (34:28):
What do
Tyler (34:29):
you do? Right? There's a protocol I'm sure. Right? You
reroute them and they've got toget back in the queue or
whatever.
Right. Right? And it becomesmuscle memory. You just tell
them they know shit, whateverscrewed up. They got to do it
over again.
Danny (34:40):
Right.
Tyler (34:41):
You know, so start start looking at those protocols. What
are those protocols? Moreimportantly, start journaling
your your your triggers, youknow, and and sadly, triggers
likely will be called out byyour friends, your closest
relationships, your children.They're gonna poke on them.
They're gonna trip on them.
They're not gonna understandthat they're triggers. Sure.
(35:03):
They may it may be a pattern offighting that you you you see
that that represents itself inin your relationship, but like
start noting those things down.Start noting what feelings are
going through your body. Startconnecting the thought with
somatic, the emotion in yourbody.
(35:24):
That's why I love breath work.Right. It clears out a good, a
good breath work instructor getsboth the somatic and the mental
in one foul swoop. And that'swhy breath work is better than
meditation.
Danny (35:39):
Sure. Right. Yeah. Because meditation, you're going
to get lost in that in thethoughts, but then your thoughts
could go down. Like you cansometimes when you're
meditating, you can't reallycontrol your thoughts because it
starts to just start to go.
Mhmm. But with breath work, youcan kind of bring yourself back
to the middle again and be like,alright, I'm just gonna focus on
my breath. I'm not gonna focuson the bullshit that's going on
in my head. No. Yeah, you'reright.
(36:01):
And also, like, opening up andtalking about things helps. It
does help. Like, like therapytherapy is just another way of,
like, opening up and talking toa comfortable to a person that
may not have a vested interest.Right. Cause sometimes like,
let's say like, you're my goodbuddy and I'm in a moment and
I'm grumpy and irritated andyou're like, no, Danny, you're
(36:23):
great, but you're not calling meout on my bullshit or what, you
know, therapist is like, hey,man, this is where you need to
be a little bit better becausethey're not they're not a
cheerleader.
They're just there to to kind ofhelp you and guide you in that
moment. Right. Finding positiveinfluences around to keep around
you. Oh yeah. You know, somebodythat didn't somebody that tells
(36:45):
you how great you are all thetime and doesn't tell you, you
kind of got this irritated, youknow, this thing that you need
to work on.
Yeah. Maybe just a cheerleader,you know? Yeah. And Excuse me,
man. I also think that likeunderstanding your job or the
(37:07):
role that you need at that dayor that time.
Right. Working on those thingsthat, that, that, that you suck
at, you know, I've been reallyworking on trying to apologize a
little bit better to people, youknow, and, and not having any
idea of what you should do orhow you should feel with my
(37:31):
apology. Just apologizing andbeing okay with just
apologizing, you know. And thosemoments are really hard. Yeah.
Especially for somebody like me,you know, like who doesn't
apologize at all. Yeah.Apologize to miss Steven and the
boys, you know? Sure. But forthe most part, like, man, I
(37:52):
probably have to practice thembecause they don't come
naturally to me, you know?
Right. I think what some of itis is I just think we'll both
get over it. Yeah. You know,even if I say some fucked up
things to you. Yeah.
I'll be like, we'll eventuallyboth get over it, you know, and
sometimes I don't know if that'sthe case. I don't know if like,
(38:12):
you know, people get over it orif they just are like, I'll deal
with Danny, but fuck Danny.
Tyler (38:19):
Well, I mean, maybe that is getting over it. Right? Like,
you know
Danny (38:23):
I am kind of putting my own personal context of like,
oh, I want you to forgive me.Please forgive me. Instead of
just being like, oh, maybe thatyou did get over it.
Tyler (38:30):
Yeah. Maybe they did get over it and you're not talking
to those people anymore.
Danny (38:33):
Yeah.
Tyler (38:34):
Yeah. Mean, I wear the same thing about me too. I I
always think I'm funnier in myhead than oftentimes the shit
that comes out of my
Danny (38:41):
mouth. Yeah.
Tyler (38:43):
So I'll tell things that I'm like, I was really funny in
my head, but can kind of beoffensive or Christ. I should
Danny (38:49):
have said that. I should have kept that in my mouth.
Tyler (38:50):
Yeah. I can't believe my inside voice got out again.
Sorry, everybody.
Danny (38:58):
That's funny.
Tyler (38:59):
But I mean, I'm the same way as well, right? Like, I
think intrinsically I wantpeople to like me. It's caused
me to prostitute myself and signup for things I don't often do
but or want to do or, you know,hang on to relationships
probably longer than I should.Sure. But I think we're all
we're all in this journey.
(39:20):
Right? We're on this journey andit lasts our whole lifetime.
However long we're granted. Someof us are granted longer than
than others. Life is meant meantfor joy.
I truly believe life is meantfor for joy. It's not all about
being on this constant trudge ofself improvement. Well, it's
(39:40):
good. You got to spend some timeto stop and smell the roses.
Thank you, Ferris Bueller.
Yeah. You know, you've got totake some time to just say, you
know what? I'm doing bettertoday than I was yesterday.
Danny (39:52):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler (39:53):
You know what I mean? Like, you are constantly telling
me to be kind to myself. Yeah.And I think it's true. You
really do need to be kind toyourself.
Yeah. And if you're not a 100%all the time, it's okay. It's
okay to have a cheat day. Yeah.It's okay to start over.
Yeah. It's okay to backslide andfigure out. Man, I feel like so
(40:18):
much of my life recently hasbeen back to where I was three
years ago.
Danny (40:22):
Right.
Tyler (40:25):
You know, so I'm am I'm working on being kind to myself.
I'm working on new things. I amreally just trying to push out
gratitude. Gratitude and alittle bit of self control. So
that inside voice doesn't comeout.
Danny (40:39):
Come out. Yeah.
Tyler (40:40):
But but gratitude for sure. It always seems to be the
right soil, right the rightmixture to get me through.
Danny (40:46):
Yeah.
Tyler (40:49):
To get me through things.
Danny (40:50):
Yes. Seeing appreciate, you know, seeing the seeing,
like you said, seeing the worldfor what it really is. Yeah. And
being grateful. Yeah.
For what we have. Right.Especially like, like I said,
man, we live in Utah, bro.
Tyler (41:03):
Right.
Danny (41:04):
It is like, dude, an 85 degree day in Utah. Yeah. No
clouds. I don't know if there'smuch out there that you're like,
dude, could it get any better?
Tyler (41:15):
You took me on that run and I did end up sleeping the
rest of the day. No, that'sright. But Yeah. The run was
like the whole time. Danny'slike, this is gorgeous.
And I'm like, yes, I'm justlooking at my shoes so I can get
the next step. But it was. Therewas not a single moment on that
mountain where I we were I weweren't completely surrounded by
Danny (41:35):
Just happiness. Happiness. Even the people.
Tyler (41:38):
I kind of like, I don't know what's going on. It's like
dry. I kinda gotta sneeze.
Danny (41:42):
Your nose was making weird. It was starting to do the
the the
Tyler (41:47):
Yeah. It's there's one there's one loading up in the
chamber. We'll save the peoplefrom that, though.
Danny (41:52):
See. Yeah. Like, and that's kind of like, you know,
the whole idea of acceptance ofwho you are, right? Accepting
who you are. Because like, I doaccept who I am.
I do accept the fact thatsometimes my emotions get the
best of me. And I was talking toMike about this yesterday that
like, you know, I'm people knowwhen I'm when I'm when I'm in a
(42:15):
little bit of a mood. Right? Idon't I don't mask those very
well. But I also don't letmyself off the hook sometimes in
that moment.
Right? Yeah. Man, if I, youknow, if I'm grumpy, my kids
know. If I'm grumpy, my wifeknows. And I'm not, like I said,
I'm not the best of likeacknowledging those things in
(42:36):
that moment.
But going forward, you know, Itry to just remember that like
some of those genetic codethings, man, like you got to be
so helpful, so grateful and soappreciative of, because I think
that it shapes who I am, youknow? I am grateful for my dad,
you know. I am grateful for mydad. I know that sometimes it
(42:57):
may seem like I'm like, youknow, talking down about my dad.
I am grateful for him.
I'm grateful for for the thingsthat like I have, for the traits
that I have, for the fact thatI'm my last name is Elcana
because, you know, I wear thatlike a badge of honor, you know?
And then there's things that I,that you, like you said, just
(43:19):
those things that I just, I'mlike, I don't really want to be
like that. So it's a hole I gotto fill, you know? Yeah. But I
acknowledge it.
Tyler (43:25):
Some days it's there. And that's and sometimes it's the
best you can do. Right? Like wedo as as sons, we put our
fathers on a pedestal. Yeah.
We put our fathers on apedestal. Even if they're man,
how many kids like the oldtrope, the Simpsons trope,
there's Nelson Munson who's likethe bully kid in the Simpsons.
Right? He's the Yeah. Right?
(43:47):
He's always waiting like his forhis father to come back. Right?
Like Yeah. It does not matter.Like, we are infinitely
forgiving as as sons to to ourfathers.
Like, we we want a relationship.We're desperate for that that
male relationship in our in ourlives. And and, you know, we get
what we get at the time. Andhopefully, we're able to
(44:11):
metastasize that getting intowisdom, whether it's good or
whether it's bad. If as long aswe turn it into wisdom, you
know, that that means we have astronger understanding of who we
are.
And that's that's what we'regoing for. Right? A stronger
understanding of what we'regoing for.
Danny (44:28):
Yeah. What you got What you got coming up? You said
you're going to Colorado.
Tyler (44:35):
I am. I'm literally thinking I'm going to get in the
car now. This thing comes uptomorrow and I'm a little bit
hesitant. Yeah. I'm a little bithesitant to to go but I got to
get out there for Saturday by07:30
Danny (44:50):
What's going on?
Tyler (44:51):
In the morning. I'm going to tap out the Tap Out Cancer
Junior's
Danny (44:54):
That's it.
Tyler (44:55):
That's it. I was gonna go hang out with my nephews there
in Mexico. So part of it is justgiving myself the experience of
doing You're
Danny (45:04):
volunteering at the Tap Out for Cancer.
Tyler (45:06):
I'm volunteering to run a table at
Danny (45:07):
Tap Out for Yeah.
Tyler (45:09):
Yeah. So What is it called? Tap Out Cancer? Tap Out
Cancer. Right?
Danny (45:13):
Tap
Tyler (45:14):
Tap Yeah.
Danny (45:15):
Tap Out Cancer.
Tyler (45:15):
Whatever Craig Jones got himself involved in.
Danny (45:17):
Yeah. He gets himself into some fucked up things.
Tyler (45:20):
Yeah. When he was their biggest donor last year.
Danny (45:22):
Really? Yeah. So where's it at in Denver?
Tyler (45:25):
It's in Denver. It's right where I grew up in my old
stomping grounds. Wow.
Danny (45:30):
So you gotta be what time is the tournament start?
Tyler (45:32):
Tournament starts at eight. I gotta be there at
07:30.
Danny (45:36):
I know. Dang. And then are you hauling ass back on
Sunday?
Tyler (45:40):
I think I think I'm going to depending on when the
tournament gets over, I'mprobably just gonna hit the road
after the tournament.
Danny (45:48):
No way. That's kind of
Tyler (45:49):
what I'm thinking. Wow. Leave leave I I wanna leave
tomorrow during the day becauseI wanted to stop in like
Strawberry. Oh. Or notStrawberry.
Excuse me. I want to stop inSteamboat. Go out past
Strawberry.
Danny (46:03):
Okay.
Tyler (46:04):
Stop in Steamboat. I can work from anywhere.
Danny (46:06):
Yeah.
Tyler (46:06):
Yeah. I did a really good job working from the hospital.
I'd like to maybe do that fromthis your
Danny (46:12):
last week? Do you start everything back up?
Tyler (46:16):
So one more week after this.
Danny (46:17):
One more week.
Tyler (46:18):
Yeah. So that's the other reason I'm going. Okay. I'm not
tethered to anything. I haven'thad kids in three weeks just the
way things have shaken shakenout.
Yeah. And so I'm like, I mightas well at least get out of here
for a weekend.
Danny (46:31):
Oh, cool. So That'd be cool.
Tyler (46:34):
Part of it was like Colorado's safe. I know people.
There's people out there thatwanted to travel to Utah for a
while I was in the hospital.They didn't get to see me. So
Danny (46:43):
And the boys are in Mexico?
Tyler (46:45):
Boys are in Cancun right now.
Danny (46:47):
What the heck?
Tyler (46:48):
I know. I told them I'm driving out there to fart on
their pillow. I said, I'm gonnafart on your pillow.
Danny (46:53):
Yeah. Good. They deserve that. Yeah. Yeah.
Good. And that'll be fun.
Tyler (46:59):
Yeah. And then I'm hoping to get back for I'll get right
back into it. We'll be camptime. Yeah. What about you?
What about you got going on? Yougot camp a little bit?
Danny (47:09):
Yeah. We got sponsorship stuff. Still working on
sponsorships, working on tryingto get the fights, all the fight
fees covered for the spiders.Got a couple of things that I've
couple of avenues that I'mworking on. A couple of Vivint,
really trying to get Vivint toto donate to to the cause.
(47:33):
A couple of the business guysworking on. Yeah. That that that
honestly, we're we're justworking hard. Know? Misty and I
both are working hard, really,really, really working hard.
Yeah. I did talk to my unionguy. As of now, I'm going to
(47:55):
stay another year. Okay. In the,in the, in the middle, in the
FAA.
Stay one more My plan was toretire in May of next financial
plan. That was the goal was toget through this winter and then
retire in May. If that's thecase, I'll just work another
year. I'll just work tillDecember and then make a
(48:16):
decision then. Right now I feellike that, you know, we're going
to stay anyways.
Yeah. I'm to stick it out. Andthen we have
Tyler (48:27):
I keep waiting for that day. Danny's going come down
here. Oh yeah, I retired.
Danny (48:30):
Yeah. Today's the day.
Tyler (48:31):
I'm retired.
Danny (48:32):
I know. You know, I man, I I had some up and down days of
like, what would my life looklike retired? You know? If I'm
going to work, I might as wellgo to the I might as well go
down and do air traffic control.
Tyler (48:46):
What you know best. Yeah.
Danny (48:48):
Know, I might as well stick with I've I've talked to a
couple of people and and they'rethey're they're they were their
ideas, they work till 60 tillthey work until they're 65, you
know. They were so stoked tothink that I could work till I'm
55, 57 thinking that holy shit,you know, most people have to
(49:10):
work till they're 65, know.You're retire. Here I am at 47
talking about retirement, youknow? Yeah.
And so man, I talked to Coreytoday. That guy. We're gonna
FaceTime the next time because,know, he's on his boat now.
Yeah. And it's really cool whathe's doing.
(49:36):
It's really cool what he'sdoing. But he also said, I can't
believe I'm giving up what Igave up, which is, you know, the
academies. Yeah. His hiscomfortable lifestyle, you know?
Yeah.
He's over in Florida right nowgoing to different academies,
trying to find something thatresembles what we have and
there's nothing, you know,there's nothing that he has. And
(49:57):
so would be scary to me. Yeah. Idon't have the academy. I don't
have anything to forward to.
Think I'm going to compete onJuly 12. I right now, I'm
technically, I just got to payfor it, but I think I made the
decision to compete on July 12for Grappling Industries.
(50:19):
Tripp's going to compete. Nice.I know a couple of the guys are
thinking about doing it.
Yeah, think I'm going tocompete. I think I think it's
time. I think Yeah.
Tyler (50:28):
I mean, we haven't you didn't you haven't competed
since we last competed together.
Danny (50:32):
We last competed. Yeah.
Tyler (50:33):
And I'm not in competing shape personally. But I remember
leaving that being like, I'm notcompeting again until I change
some things about who I am. So
Danny (50:43):
feel good. I feel like I feel like I'm ready for that. I
feel like I'm I feel like it'sit's time, you know, to get back
out there and put myself backout there. And so, yeah, that's
that's that's that really it'sreally, we're kind of in a
little small of a groove, like,in a like, a little bit of a
like a like a like a little lowbecause we're just working hard
(51:05):
and trying to keep enjoying thedays that Misty and I like can
have the whole day with eachother.
Tyler (51:13):
Yeah.
Danny (51:15):
I had a pretty good men's group on Friday. I'll tell you
offline of I'm so bummed. Wasreally good. Actually, I I keep
telling you this, that God worksin mysterious ways. Yeah.
And in my in my mind, the waythat it worked out was was God
had a had a hand in how itworked out. And and when I tell
(51:37):
you, like, it's not that I don'twant to tell people online. It's
just not my story to tell. Butwhen I tell you, you'll be like,
oh, it's kind of weird.
Tyler (51:42):
Yeah. Because what happens in men's group stays in
men's group unless you've gotthe the secret men's group
handshake, which I got. And Ithink that's part of the what
makes it this the safe space toto go to go work in. And so
that's cool. I'm excited.
I definitely have some FOMO. Ican't even I I mean, I can't
even fathom like my brain. Ijust space it. I was looking
(52:04):
forward to it. And then nextthing I know, it was Saturday
evening.
And I'm like, what?
Danny (52:10):
And I was texting you to come over for the fights.
Tyler (52:12):
Yeah. And I was just like, I was just a complete
mess. Anyways, I think we wrapit there, man. I appreciate you.
It was fun.
I'm so grateful for you.
Danny (52:19):
Thank you.
Tyler (52:20):
I'm sorry I missed men's group. So grateful that you've
put that on. People areinterested, how would they would
they can we are you opening itup?
Danny (52:28):
No. So right now it's just invite only from other the
men in the group.
Tyler (52:34):
In the group.
Danny (52:35):
Right now, because of some of the things that are
going on in the men's Yeah. Youknow, it's it's best if we just,
you know, we have right now justkeeping it to if you get an
invite from if if you want toinvite somebody. Sure. That
person is more than welcome tocome along to men's group. We
(52:57):
have we have sponsorshipsavailable for the super fights
for the camp.
I'd love to work with thecommunity. I'd love to get out
there and talk and, like, putyour name out there, put your
business out there. Yeah, man.Yeah. It's great.
Tyler (53:19):
Cool.
Danny (53:20):
It's a good it's a great it's a great time right now.
Tyler (53:22):
Such such it's too fun to be inside recording a podcast.
Let's get out there and live thesummer.
Danny (53:27):
Let's do it.
Tyler (53:28):
Alright. Okay. Appreciate you.
Danny (53:29):
Appreciate
Tyler (53:30):
you. Hey. We'll see you next episode.
Danny (53:31):
Cheers. Cheers.
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