Letters to Future You: Reflections and Resolutions

Episode Summary:
Danny and Tyler are back for Year 3 of The Last Boy Scouts podcast! In this reflective and inspiring episode, the duo discusses their holiday experiences, personal growth, and the tradition of writing letters to their future selves. They share insights on balancing ambition with self-compassion, redefining goals, and embracing the lessons of failure. Tyler opens up about processing life's unexpected turns, including the first anniversary of his brother's passing, while Danny reflects on the importance of gratitude and defending what matters most.

The conversation touches on the value of friendships, navigating life's challenges, and setting realistic goals for the new year. With humor, vulnerability, and wisdom, this episode sets the stage for 2025 with themes of resilience, ambition, and community.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• Holiday Recap: Danny and Tyler share their Christmas and New Year’s highlights, from family puzzles to meaningful dinners.
• Letters to Self: The emotional and practical lessons from writing and reading letters to their future selves.
• Real Talk on Ambition: Tyler reflects on balancing ambition with patience and learning from setbacks.
• The 85-Year-Old Perspective: What really matters when you look back on life?
• Men Supporting Men: Why surrounding yourself with strong, supportive friends is essential.
• Wrestling and Standards: Danny discusses building a culture of excellence in the wrestling room and beyond.
• Podcast Goals for 2025: Expanding the reach, connecting with new guests, and building community.

Episode Transcript

Danny (00:07):
Welcome to the last Boy Scouts podcast. We're back. We
are in year 3.

Tyler (00:12):
Year 3.

Danny (00:13):
2025, Tyler.

Tyler (00:15):
Yep.

Danny (00:16):
Wow.

Tyler (00:16):
I know.

Danny (00:17):
It's been a couple weeks since we've, since we've got
together and chatted.

Tyler (00:20):
It has been.

Danny (00:20):
We've seen each other.

Tyler (00:21):
Yeah. We had an amazing Christmas. I just have to say, I
had an amazing Christmas Eve atyour house. Oh, dude. So much
fun.

Danny (00:28):
That was good.

Tyler (00:28):
The food was amazing. Yeah. That was really good. To
Dude. Yeah.

Danny (00:32):
She does such a good job with that. She did an amazing
job. She has perfected, thattalent of being able to cook
like that all day and make surethat, the food is done and
prepared Yeah. In sequentialorder and then at the right
time. Yeah.
Like, everything comes out atthe oven at the right time.
Everything is ready to go.

Tyler (00:52):
It's a spread. It's a spread.

Danny (00:54):
Joke, dude.

Tyler (00:55):
But it was literally, I still I'm still dreaming about
how delicious it was. Gosh.

Danny (00:59):
It was good. So good. So thank you. We, that was a good
time. Holidays are good?

Tyler (01:03):
Yeah. I mean, pretty laid back. Right? I I didn't have the
kids, so they showed up,Christmas day and hung out. We
we started an incredible puzzlecalled odd pieces, and it's like
the puzzle doesn't match thebox.

Danny (01:16):
Oh, what?

Tyler (01:17):
And then, like, there's a story with it, and it tells the
story. And then there's, like,inside the puzzle, there's,
like, a secret message. Okay.And So it was a lot of fun, and
we spent cool. Like, we crankedon it for 3 days, a 1,000
pieces.

Danny (01:27):
No way.

Tyler (01:27):
I bought one for my nephews. I haven't heard if
they've they've started it. Theystarted it. But Nick was a
puzzle. He was kind of thepuzzle pusher there, so they
might not have, they may needsome

Danny (01:36):
That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. There's, like it's funny when
you take a break, and I'm and,like, you know, we didn't take a
break last year, and but andeverything kinda felt rushed. We
were always like you're like,man, it's the holidays.
Do we have time? And you're likeYeah. You feel rushed. So we
took we actually took a break.We had planned to take a break
of, like, okay.
We're gonna take this break offand then start at the New Year,

(01:56):
right at the New Year and be,you know, back into our our
groove of

Tyler (02:01):
Back in the groove.

Danny (02:02):
Of of every other week of podcasting.

Tyler (02:05):
Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (02:05):
We had talked about, you know, podcasting multiple
episodes in one night. We weredoing it. We were brainstorming
that, and then it was like,let's just let's let's take a
break and and then come backtogether. Yeah.

Tyler (02:16):
And we'll get there. I think we'll find our flow for
this year, and I think, I thinkthat we have big things now that
we've got some things perfected.We've got the equipment
perfected. I think we haven'tshot outdoor yet. We have that
whole outdoor Yeah.
Remote setup perfected. So I'm,like, you know, I have big
expectations.

Danny (02:35):
Yeah. For sure.

Tyler (02:35):
But I did. New Year's was a little bit more of a blow. I
think I opened my letter tomyself, and I was just like,
Tyler, what did you what did youdo? Wow. What did you do?

Danny (02:46):
Yeah. So so to so going backwards, we you told me about
this, like, write a letter toyourself of what you'd like to
see in a year when you open thatletter, look back over the year,
and remember these goals, theseexpectations, these ideas that
you were gonna do, and what youknow, a letter to yourself. A

(03:06):
letter to Danny, a letter toTyler. I did it with my family.
You did it with your family.
Yeah. And then you open thatletter Mhmm. New Year's Eve or
New Year's Day?

Tyler (03:17):
Because we wrote them because they didn't have the
kids on New Year's last year, wewrote them a few days later. I
we opened them New Year's Eve

Danny (03:24):
Okay.

Tyler (03:24):
Just because it had had been like, we just wanted to
read, and I wanted New Year'sDay for them to, like, be able
to sleep on it and write a newletter to themselves. And,

Danny (03:34):
let's do you mind sharing the exact do do you remember
what you wrote?

Tyler (03:37):
I just I just put it back. I actually just stuffed it
in my journal. I I had a lotlike, I am a very ambitious
person, I think.

Danny (03:45):
Okay.

Tyler (03:46):
I did write like, my theme for 2024 was strength,
ambition, and persistence. Ithink I did a really good job,
all things considered. I think Ijust have big old eyes.

Danny (03:56):
Yeah.

Tyler (03:56):
And I had big plans for Vessi. I had big plans for for
work. I did great at work. Icrushed my work goal, crushed,
you know, some other goals, butthere were some other areas
where I was just kind of sittingand I was in the I I I spent the
time purposefully kind of insome silence, right, to just
kind of redefine what does thatholiday period mean for me. So

(04:17):
we go into the festivities ofChristmas, and then we kinda go
into the reflection of the NewYear.
And I I just was thinking, like,I am not really where I want to
be in life. I'm not real and Istarted comparing myself to
myself, like, what what I what Iwanted. And I really I I have
big plans. I wanna build ahouse. I have I know exactly a

(04:39):
lot I wanna buy.
I know exactly the type of houseI wanna build. And here I am
renting in a place where I'mlike, I'm not particularly
thrilled. My neighbors to aChristmas Eve party puked
everywhere, and I'm like, Ican't I can't do this like
communal living. Yeah. You know,this has been a a lovely place
to be given all the chaos thathappened last year, but I'm
like, I'm not nowhere near closeon that goal.

Danny (05:03):
Where where you where you had written to yourself of what
you wanted to be? Yeah. Do youdid you feel like you had
failed?

Tyler (05:09):
I don't know that I feel like I failed, but I definitely
felt, like, really melancholy.Like, I really was like, did I
not give this goal enough? Did Istay too much in survival this
year?

Danny (05:21):
Okay.

Tyler (05:22):
And did I not give the goal enough attention? And in a
lot of ways, I was feelingreally hard on myself that I
just kind of stuck myself insurvival mode. I had a lot of
unexpected expenses, you know,with with, you know, helping,
you know, Nick's family and a abunch of extra travel that I
hadn't I hadn't planned. And andand just I don't wanna blame the

(05:46):
economy. I don't wanna blameanybody but, you know, myself.
But, like, I thought, you know,taking this corporate job, I
would be in a little bit betterposition that I was in, and it
looks like man, I'm I didn't I'mnot destitute, but I'm
definitely not like, I'm notputting away the box like I
wanna put them away. So

Danny (06:05):
did you see did you notice did you have an, the idea
of writing a letter to yourself,did you have illusions of
grandeur? Did you have, like,ideas of, like did when you
looked at it, did you go, man,where was I at when I was
thinking this?

Tyler (06:20):
Yeah.

Danny (06:21):
Were you in this, like, really happy place of, like,
stoke? Yeah. And, like, man,you're, like, you are trending
up. Right? And you're not like,you're improving.
You're improving. And all yousee is this upward trend, but
you forget that there's always apullback. Right?

Tyler (06:35):
Yeah.

Danny (06:36):
Did you did you account for the pullback?

Tyler (06:38):
I had a huge amount of momentum for Vessi at the end of
2023.

Danny (06:42):
For

Tyler (06:42):
sure. We had a ton going on in that in that realm. And
whether I like it or not, like,Nick Nick's situation,
definitely put that particularproject on the back burner.
Mhmm. And I didn't really learnwhat I wanted to learn last
year, which was how to raisemoney for for an enterprise of

(07:04):
that of that nature.
Mhmm. I mean, I wanna know howmy handsome ass great great
grandfather sailed it, you know,across from wherever he came
from to this country and wasable to build whatever he built
because you hear those storiesall the time.

Danny (07:16):
Right.

Tyler (07:16):
Right? The money is out there for the right idea. And I
and I I truly believe it. Itruly believe that it is. So I I
then start internalizing.
I still I start personalizing.Oh, well, if it's out there, I
just didn't do something right.And I and I realize that there's
some flawed thinking, and Ithink you're absolutely right. I
definitely had a bit of whatthey call magical thinking.

(07:38):
Yeah.
Right? Like, I there was just somuch momentum. I mean a lot.
Yeah.

Danny (07:42):
Did you do you feel like you had growth? Whether it was
good or bad. Like like, do youfeel like there was growth last
year when you looked at yourletter and you were like, man,
this tie this version of Tyleris now like, this version of
Tyler that I'm looking at rightnow, the man that I'm looking at
right now a year later.

Tyler (08:01):
Yeah.

Danny (08:01):
You don't realize until you look at that letter Yeah.
What a year does. Like, what ayear is. A year in a year in
review. You can't do a year inreview, that's 12 months.
But when you look at thatletter, you know where you were
at in that moment. And now isthere, like, growth? Is there a
new Tyler?

Tyler (08:21):
Yeah. I I think absolutely. I think it took me a
day or 2 to just kind of chatwith some people and just to
kind of reframe what I hadwanted and and to realize, like,
you know what, Tyler? You didn'treally do that bad. And and even
that's what I I say to myself inin the letter.
I go, I but the last line Iwrote in the letter was, like,

(08:41):
even if none of this happens,Tyler, I'm still proud of you.
I'm still you still have madeincredible progress. And so,
like, it just took me a minutebecause, like, the the initial
shock of, like, oh. And thenthen there's kind of just some
of the processing of, like, whatwhat really happened? What do I
need to do?
Yeah. What where do I wanna go?And and that that I think that's

(09:02):
all good. I think it it helpedme write my 2025 letter with a
little bit you know, you takesome

Danny (09:10):
eyes. Right?

Tyler (09:11):
Yeah. Yeah. You take some starry eyes out of it, and
you're like Yeah.

Danny (09:13):
Some more realistic expectations and goals of ideas.
It, did you did the kids readdid you read yours out loud, or
did you read it internally?

Tyler (09:22):
I just read it to myself. Okay. I don't know what Ben
said. I do know what my 2daughters wrote, and I'm really
proud of what they they wrote.Little heartbroken by some of
the stuff that was written inone of my daughter's letters.
But, I mean, I think it was it'sI think it's interesting to just
kinda see into her world. Idon't know if she knows that I
read it. I'm sorry. Brynndefinitely wrote read read to me

(09:44):
her letter.

Danny (09:44):
Oh, very cool.

Tyler (09:46):
And and I'm super proud of her. She got straight a's.
She's on the Dean's list. 4point o.

Danny (09:51):
Oh, so good.

Tyler (09:52):
Right?

Danny (09:52):
So sick. Yeah. Yeah.

Tyler (09:53):
And, like, the poor girl, she's really hard on herself,
and I see a lot of myself inthat inner Yeah. Because even
she's called me now like thissemester. She's like, dad, this
is so hard. But she's at theshe's at the point in her
college career where, like,she's got she's a short timer.
Right?
She's got all of her classes.

Danny (10:08):
Better have done what you needed to in college because
your time's up. Yeah. Yeah.

Tyler (10:12):
Yeah. And which is sad because she's so young. Like,
she's so young, but she's she'svery studious. She's very good.
And, like, I don't worry abouther.
I worry that she's really hardon herself like me, but at the
same time, I'm like she textedme today and was like, this is
too hard. I'm like, we've gottareframe this. We've just gotta
reframe this.

Danny (10:29):
Did you notice when you right when you were about to
open your letter, did youremember anything that was in
that letter? Anything. Anythingbesides the fact that you I
mean, you had written strength,ambition, persistence. Did you
know that did you know anythingthat was in that letter?

Tyler (10:43):
I didn't really remember a lot what was in the letter.
Well, I take that back because Iwrote my letter in 2 parts
because I have, like, a 7 partlike, the way I the way I really
kind of do goals is I have a aphysical goal, a spiritual goal,
a mental goal, a financial goal.And it's not really goals, but

(11:03):
it's like, these are what aregonna be kinda my themes.

Danny (11:06):
Sure.

Tyler (11:08):
And and so I had written those out, and I kind of had
documented those outside theletter because I wanted to track
them throughout the year. But asfar as, like, what, like, what I
actually wrote to myself, Ididn't I didn't

Danny (11:20):
Isn't that weird?

Tyler (11:21):
It is.

Danny (11:21):
That was so weird to me. Yeah. So our Christmas Yeah. Was
kinda melancholy as well. Yeah.
Only because, like, my boys areolder.

Tyler (11:31):
Yeah.

Danny (11:31):
Right? It's just Misty and I, and I worked the whole
weekend because, or the wholethe whole the the those whole
days because in my mind, like,when my boys were younger, I
took every Christmas off, everyChristmas Eve off. So I was
there at work with the ideathat, like, there's other guys
that have younger families.Yeah. And so, you know, we do
our traditional Christmas Evedinner, like you said, and

(11:53):
Jesse, you came over.
And what a great I mean, like,that's to me, like, that that
personifies my life.

Tyler (12:02):
Yeah.

Danny (12:02):
You know? We had you and Jesse over, and it was like
family. Like, you guys are myfamily, and and Jesse is such a
big part of our family. You'resuch a big part of our family.
And that to me was, like, cool.
Right? And Mickey and I talkedabout that. That that that was
cool to us. Right? We don't haveBraxton home, so you can't
really celebrate Christmasbecause it doesn't feel like

(12:23):
Christmas.
Yeah. You're not aroundeverybody. Right? We did have a
we did, mend relationships withmy family. So Misty and my mom
and my sisters are talkingagain.
They went on that vacation, andand so that was really cool
because we you know, you'relike, now we're now we're we're
we're, like, in that idea of,like, seeing each other. Yeah.

(12:44):
And so, for Christmas day, wejust kind of vegged out on the
couch after I got home, and the3 of us just sat there and
watched a movie. And Yeah. Itwas pretty mellow, Not really
crazy, and so we went to bedearly because I had to work
Yeah.
Yeah. At 4 o'clock the nextmorning. You know? And then I

(13:04):
ended up going to a girl allgirls tournament on Friday. So I
didn't really have any time offof, like, just, like, thinking
about things.
Yeah. Right? And the girlswrestled really well. They both
took

Tyler (13:18):
Cool.

Danny (13:18):
6th, which was awesome.

Tyler (13:19):
Because that was an invite only tournament.

Danny (13:20):
Invite only. Yeah.

Tyler (13:21):
And how many girls did y'all go to?

Danny (13:23):
Just 2. We have the we have the 2 girls, and they both
went down to a, it was a 6 it'sthe best 16 girls in the state
that get an invite that acceptthe invite to wrestle, which was
really cool. It was a really funtournament, and, they both
wrestled really well. Mhmm. Andthen, for New Year's Eve, we
also cooked dinner.
We we did a nice dinner with me,Misty, and Tristan, and I think

(13:50):
Tristan's friend come over forjust a moment. I don't remember
honestly about that, but thatwas cool. We just had a good
dinner.

Tyler (13:55):
Yeah.

Danny (13:55):
I had to work New Year's Day. Mhmm. And at 11 o'clock,
11:30, all of a sudden, thefireworks start going off, and
they went on till about 1:30 inthe morning. Yeah. And I was so
frustrated.
Oh, that's the worst. But weread our letters to each other
on New Year's Day.

Tyler (14:13):
Oh, cool.

Danny (14:13):
So the 3 of us sat down, and we opened our letters, and
we wrote we read our letters toeach other. Mhmm. And so you you
open your letters and both andeverybody went, oh, wow. You
know? And Tristan goes, Iremember writing these things.
I remember writing these things.So he read his, and we were
like, oh, it was reallyinsightful. There were some
things again. You were like, oh,I kinda feel bad what he wrote,

(14:36):
that it didn't happen, but he'syoung. You know?
And and he, he you know, we kindof framed it as goals goals for
the year, goals for your whatyou wanna do Yeah. And then
questions. Did you accomplishthis? Did you do this? Yeah.
Yeah. Cool. Did you do this?Yeah. Did you hey.
How's this? And one of his waslike, hey. Did you get that
purple belt? And he did. Right?

Tyler (14:57):
Nice. Yeah.

Danny (14:57):
You're like, man, that's you're like, cool. Like, that's
a cool thing because you youthink, like, what if he wouldn't
have, you

Tyler (15:02):
know Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (15:04):
Gosh. And so he was cool. And Misty was and then Misty was
like, man, I didn't write mine.I didn't I wish I would have
done a little like, she's like,I wish I would have, like, taken
a little bit more thought intothis. Hers was really cool
because she asked, did youforgive more?

Tyler (15:21):
Oh, wow.

Danny (15:21):
Did you forgive more? Did you forgive more? And then to
have that whole experience thatshe did. Cool. You know, and
have it, like, have that ideathat her and my mom and my
sisters, they all got backtogether, and that family mend
that family bond was mended.
And, mine mine was I I wanted tobe very realistic with my

(15:43):
expectations and my goals. Minehad a lot of stuff about
Spavezzi. It it had a lot ofstuff on there. It also had a
lot of stuff with my breathingplatform. Did I breathe every
day for 365 days, which for themost part I mean, like, I think
I missed a couple days.
I don't remember. Less than 5Right. Less than 5 days that I
You

Tyler (16:02):
kinda feel it, though. Right? Like, you you you you
know or know of you. Like, youknow the the the spirit is
there. Right?

Danny (16:08):
The spirit. What you know what else I put was, I hope you
made it to to to now of beingsober because I had planned Oh,
yeah. That's right. Another yearof sober Yeah. Sobriety.
Right? And I didn't. Yeah. I didnot feel a pinch of
disappointment, but I kinda waslike Yeah. You know, I know that
relationship with alcohol isimportant for me to remember

(16:30):
that don't ever let it don'tever let it control me

Tyler (16:33):
Yeah.

Danny (16:33):
And always be in control. So if I wanna take some time off
from drinking, take some timeoff from drinking. If I don't
wanna have a beer aftertraining, don't have a beer
after training. Don't forceyourself to do that kind of
shit. And I I did also say, man,I hope you're a brown belt right
now.
And that's all I felt was I hopeyou're a brown belt. And when I
seen that, I was like, stoked.Yeah. Right? I was like, oh, I

(16:55):
was so stoked.
And, there was some other stuffabout the academy, and, you
know, just some friendship stuffand, like, wanting to make sure
that I kept my expectations low.Yeah. Which I think, like, this
year, you know, I was, like, alittle bit more when I wrote my

(17:17):
letter this year, I was a littlebit more, like, you need to do
this. Yeah. Make sure that areyou doing this?
Did you save one of mine wassave $10,000. I did not save
$10,000.

Tyler (17:28):
Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (17:29):
But this year was like, you better you better be busting
your ass and not spending moneyon bullshit. Yeah. Did you drive
the bus for 2 weeks? And I did.I was like, yeah.
Fuck yeah.

Tyler (17:41):
I did. Yeah. Cool. I was gonna ask if you did anything
with the bus.

Danny (17:45):
The very end, I put, I love you so much, Danny. I love
you so much, and I love who youare as a person. And that to
myself, like, when I read that,like, I got so teary eyed
because I thought to myself,like, that's important as a man
to to remind yourself. You Ilove you, Danny. Yeah.
Like, you're a good dude.

Tyler (18:02):
How often do you do that?

Danny (18:03):
So I love myself? Yeah. All the time.

Tyler (18:05):
I try to say it before I try to say it to myself before I
go to bed every day.

Danny (18:09):
I love you. I love you, Tyler. Dude, it's so good. Yeah.
Because a lot of times, I think,like, you know, you get into
that idea of, like, gosh.
I'm so afraid to fail. I'm soafraid to, like, make mistakes.
And then you're so hard onyourself. Nobody's harder on me
than me.

Tyler (18:24):
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (18:26):
Nobody judges me more than me. Yeah. You can't judge
me as much as I judge myself.

Tyler (18:30):
Exactly.

Danny (18:30):
Right? But if you tell yourself, like, man, I forgive
you. I love you, and you're sucha good dude. I'm so stoked to be
you. Yeah.
You know? One thing that I readthat I've started to do is what
would 85 year old, 86 year oldDanny do? Yeah. What would he

(18:52):
care about right now? What would86 year old Danny care about
what 47 year old Danny did?

Tyler (18:59):
Yeah.

Danny (19:01):
And at 87, what would I care about? Would I care would
this matter?

Tyler (19:07):
Yeah.

Danny (19:07):
Would this matter that much? This guy this guy cut me
off. Would that matter when I'm85?

Tyler (19:11):
Yeah.

Danny (19:12):
Do I care? Yeah. No. Fuck. No.
I don't care.

Tyler (19:14):
Yeah.

Danny (19:14):
No. No. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. When you're 85, you knowthat life is the you better not
put any kind of, like

Tyler (19:21):
Yeah.

Danny (19:21):
Any kind of energy into bullshit.

Tyler (19:26):
Yeah. I would a 100% agree. And I think that was
definitely an an unexpectedlesson from last year,
especially, you know, thinkingabout Nick and how cut how
everything was so cut short forhim. So, yeah, it was definitely
an unexpected lesson that Ididn't write down on my my sheet
that

Danny (19:44):
Death is death is real. Right?

Tyler (19:46):
Yeah.

Danny (19:46):
And so you know that. Like, you know, like, with
Nick's passing, we it's so it'sit's so fast how fast that
happens. Yeah. It was Februaryno. January?

Tyler (19:57):
January 27th. We're coming up on a year.

Danny (19:59):
On a year.

Tyler (19:59):
And it's And

Danny (20:00):
it's the 1st of the year. You still have 11 months.

Tyler (20:03):
Yep.

Danny (20:03):
Yeah. 11 months to go. Yeah. A lot happens.

Tyler (20:07):
Yeah. A lot does happen.

Danny (20:08):
But in one day, your life can be different. Yeah. And if
you're not careful and if you'retoo hard on yourself and if
you're too afraid to makemistakes, to fail, to to fuck
up, and to to say the wrongthing, to do the wrong thing,
all you are is just this selfcritiquing Yeah. Bastard that's,
like, that's fake.

Tyler (20:28):
Yeah. Life is meant to be a little bit of an experiment, I
think.

Danny (20:30):
I agree.

Tyler (20:31):
Right? Like, you what is it saying? You learn more from
your failure failures than yoursuccesses? Always. And I think
that's absolutely right.
I think that's what I needed totake away from from my letter
last year was just like, I don'tthink I failed last year. Yeah.
I didn't I didn't hit some ofthe things that I I was really
hoping would hit, but, you know,that doesn't mean that

(20:52):
opportunity is lost.

Danny (20:53):
Mhmm.

Tyler (20:53):
It just means you gotta retool. You gotta rebreathe. You
gotta re refigure it out,refactor it, and and determine,
like, what what is it? What howdo we get there? And and that
progress is a little bit moreincremental.
I said I'd have 3 stripes. Ididn't get 3 stripes. But I also
didn't make the 3 classes a weekthat I had also put down. Right.
You know, I I did pretty goodprobably 222 to 2 times a week,

(21:17):
but I didn't train as hard asI'd trained in the I've trained

Danny (21:20):
in the past. Right.

Tyler (21:21):
And that's and and that's on me. Right? Like and I can own
that, and I can say, yeah. I cando better. That's something I
can do better this next year.

Danny (21:28):
Mhmm.

Tyler (21:29):
And so, yeah, treating myself a little bit more grace
and just kind of

Danny (21:32):
You have to. Yeah. And then having goals is never a
problem. Having goals is never aproblem, but also seeing that
failing is not fatal. No.
It's not fatal. No. The onlytime that it's fatal is when you
actually quit.

Tyler (21:48):
Yes.

Danny (21:49):
If you actually quit. Yeah. Mike and I were talking
about it today of, like, for me,I have no end. I don't see,
like, an end

Tyler (21:56):
Yeah.

Danny (21:56):
Right, of something. I don't see an end. I don't see an
end of of this. I see, like,always new beginnings, fresh new
ideas, fresh new faces, freshnew looks of of how to see
things. Yeah.
Today, I was letting people Iwas I was trying to figure out a
way to get you to mount and thenme go from there. Right? So it

(22:17):
and sometimes it took me it tookalmost a couple of, like, minute
and a half to convince people togo to mount because I think they
were, like, here's a this is a

Tyler (22:27):
trap. Trap.

Danny (22:28):
You know? But I would be, like, lazily try to get myself
into a position where I was,like, okay. As soon as they go
mount, as soon as they mount me,go. Yeah. And and try to figure
something out.
Right? Yeah. But there was acouple rounds where they like,
people wouldn't even come tomount because I was thinking,
they're so they're so thinking.They're so thinking too much of,
like, that I have a plan. Yeah.
You know?

Tyler (22:48):
Well, and and for the for the better part, you probably

Danny (22:51):
you know what I mean?

Tyler (22:52):
You do. You do have a plan.

Danny (22:53):
And so I think about that in life. You know? Like like,
always have a plan. Just have aplan. Just have a plan.
Have an exit plan. Have an exitstrategy. You know? If I'm not
comfortable

Tyler (23:02):
Yeah.

Danny (23:03):
I have committed to work, a 100 days, like, no breaks.

Tyler (23:08):
That was a good podcast. You sent me the the Alex from
Ozi podcast. He does one at theat at the end of the year. And I
got on the rowing machine, and Istarted listening to it.

Danny (23:16):
A 100 days.

Tyler (23:16):
This is great.

Danny (23:17):
Just just work. Yeah. You know, it doesn't have to be,
like, like, focused on onething, but just no days off.

Tyler (23:24):
Yeah.

Danny (23:24):
No days off. I'm focused on, you know, really, really,
really thinking before I spendmoney. Mhmm. Really thinking
before I spend money. I am goingon vacation because I can't and
it'll be in that 100 days, butI'm like, I'll do some work
maybe, but I'm going to Mexico.

Tyler (23:39):
Well, define define the the work. Maybe the work is
working on your relationshipdown there in Mexico or working
on you know what I mean? Like,what is what is what is work?

Danny (23:48):
What is it?

Tyler (23:48):
Yeah. It can be multifaceted. Yep. It doesn't
have to be necessarily the thingthat makes you money.

Danny (23:53):
Do you remember any goals that you've set for this Q1? Do
you have any goals that you'veset for the Q1?

Tyler (24:01):
I have I'm coming up on a year on my lease and I'm my goal
is to figure out what do I donext? I know it's kinda, it's
kinda silly. Like I said, Idon't, I don't love where I'm
at. It's convenient. It worksfor my kids, but, like, we after
being here for a year, havingthe community fill up a little
bit more, it's not as it's notas it's not really what I feel

(24:25):
like I need or what I want.
So, yeah, I'm back on theground. I've got my nose back to
the grindstone as to whether ornot I'm going to make a big
decision. Part of me is thinkingthat perhaps I figure out how to
move in with my dad or to justsave some money for, like, 6
months. I really wanna like, Ireally want to build a home a a

(24:48):
a true home base for myself. Idon't I don't want to rent
anymore.

Danny (24:53):
Where do you see what do you see that as is, like like,
your own house with its own withjust you, like, in your and then
being able to have the kidsthere Yeah. Every other week?

Tyler (25:02):
Yeah. Yeah. I would love and and and perhaps my goal of
building a house, like, is kindof grandiose. Perhaps I'll
refactor that and say, hey.Maybe I find something.
Real estate up here and themarket is so crazy. Mhmm. It's
so crazy. Nothing is affordable.Nothing is affordable up here.
And I think that's part of mylike, I I kinda have a notice

(25:23):
for real estate. I've been in,licensed real estate agent in 2
states. I've been a broker in 2states. Like, it's always been a
hobby of mine. I've never reallybeen able to figure out how to
make it a full time gig for me,but every real estate deal I've
ever done, I've made money on.
And so for me, like, even asthough it's a hobby, it's like,

(25:44):
I know I'm pissing away moneyand rent. I know I'm pissing
away money and rent. And so Ijust have to figure out how do I
get back into the game. Becauseto me, you look at, like, the
old lords of of, you know, like,in the days. They were
landowners.
They owned land, and that's,like, that's still, like, very

(26:05):
much the American dream. Mhmm.

Danny (26:08):
And I'll be the devil's advocate. Do you see the ability
to just pack up and go and notbe tied to a place as
opportunistic or as, like,beneficial because I own my
house. Yeah. I live in my house.It's a beautiful house.
It's a beautiful house, but Isometimes feel locked to it.

(26:31):
Yeah. I feel like if I don'tsell at the right time or if I
man, should I rent it out? Man,maybe I'm too attached to this
thing to rent it out.

Tyler (26:41):
Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (26:41):
I don't feel like I could just, like like, do that. I
don't think I could be, like, 6months go, hey. I'm gonna go
somewhere else for 6 months.

Tyler (26:47):
Having having, you know, purchased several homes, having
flipped homes, one of the firstlessons I learned in real estate
and I wish I had done a betterjob with this in my own
properties because you're right.When you fall in love with the
sticks and the bricks, it it itstarts owning you.

Danny (27:02):
Right.

Tyler (27:03):
Right? And so my my dream scenario would be to build
something that I couldpotentially do, like, 6 months
here and either short term orlong term rent it out for 6
months. And so for me, that'slike, I'm looking at particular
spaces. Another option for mewould be to have my main

(27:26):
residence. I really wanna buildan a frame.
Like, I really wanna build an aframe. I want an a frame with a
view. Like, people want oxygen.Do you know what I mean? So
there's kits out there.
Like, I've done my research.There's kits out there. You can
build them fairly inexpensively.But if I could find a lot where
I could put up an a frame with aview and a yurt that I could

(27:46):
Airbnb every night, I wouldAirbnb my yurt, and then I
would, you know, I would travelI would travel, you know, and
and just leave my my my fulltime residence somewhat. You
know?

Danny (27:59):
Which is actually, like, another part of that whole thing
because I'm my job isstructured. Right? My job is
structured. I I can't work fromhome. Yeah.
I drive to my work. Yep. I work,drive home.

Tyler (28:12):
Yeah.

Danny (28:13):
Right? And so that idea of being able to get up and go
Yeah. Is not realistic for me.Yeah.

Tyler (28:21):
You know what

Danny (28:22):
I mean? Oh, yeah. But I also still sometimes wonder,
like, gosh. Should I just rentsomething? And then I'm not,
like, married to it.
Yeah. Then I'm not stuck there.You know? But my wife is like,
no. No.
My house is beautiful. Look atour house. Look at what we did.
Look

Tyler (28:37):
at our house. How would

Danny (28:38):
we give this up? And I'm thinking, well, I feel like
sometimes I'm stuck to it. Ifeel like I'm I feel like I'm
married to my house.

Tyler (28:46):
Yeah.

Danny (28:46):
You know? And so that idea of just, hey. My lease is
up. I can go. It's kind of, it'smesmerizing to me.
Yeah. You know? It's it's it'salmost enticing to me.

Tyler (29:00):
Yeah. I I think my definitely my, probably, pre
Tyler was probably the same way.I remember my last house when I
was married. Like, I wasbuilding what I thought was an
investment, something we wouldfix up and flip. And my partner
at the time was like, no.
That was that was her domicile.That was her that was

Danny (29:20):
her cast. Yeah.

Tyler (29:21):
And and I I get that. I have no desire to have, like, a
yard. I don't wanna mow a lawn.

Danny (29:27):
I know.

Tyler (29:27):
I have no desire to mow a lawn.

Danny (29:29):
I haven't picked up my poop, my dog's poop, in months.
And I all I think about whenthey go out there is like, oh my
god. It's gonna be miserable outthere. Yeah. Yeah.
It's gonna be a nightmare outthere.

Tyler (29:39):
I have no I have no desire to mow a lawn.

Danny (29:41):
No.

Tyler (29:42):
And so so I I have I've had to change kind of, like,
what my my feelings are. Nowthat could that's not to say
that that couldn't change. Like,there's some things that
they're, that are that arepopping up. Like, I don't know.
This is my first time in atownhome, like, in a row home.
I don't know that I love it, butcould I do it? I I potentially

(30:02):
could do it if the the the dealwas right, and I could just turn
around and and rent it out.Like, get to a point where I've
paid it down enough where I canthen leverage it and move on to
something else. So, you know,step my way up to that a frame.

Danny (30:15):
Which is crazy to me because you have these options.
Right? Yeah. And so, like, forme, like, my house is my option
Yeah. Which brings me to mywhich brings me to the point of,
like, it's funny how men's mindswork

Tyler (30:27):
sometimes. Yeah.

Danny (30:28):
Like, you have this idea that you're like, I want to I
want to settle my I wanna get ahouse, and I want this goal, and
I'm and I'm have that, but I'mlike, no. I want the rent. Yeah.
I want you know, when we youhave this idea of what I have
Yeah. Is not the best thing forme, so there's something better

(30:50):
for me.

Tyler (30:50):
Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (30:51):
Which I don't know if that's true. I don't know if
that's the case. And I'm not I'mI'm being devil's advocate, of
course, for you

Tyler (30:55):
Yeah.

Danny (30:56):
Because of where I'm at in my life.

Tyler (30:57):
I think that's good. I think it's good to look at
problems from several differentangles. You know, they they they
do say analysis paralysis, but Ithink you have to I mean, that's
why we do men's groups. That'swhy we we have other men. We
need other men to kind ofchallenge our thinking and to
make sure that we're we're notgetting stuck on one aspect of
it.
Because I think my letter like,if I would've given you my
letter before I've sealed it upin my envelope, would I have

(31:20):
maybe not changed some things?Yeah. Would I have

Danny (31:24):
not knew.

Tyler (31:24):
Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (31:25):
Hey. What about this, Tyler? Yeah. Like, I'm
critiquing. What do you do?

Tyler (31:28):
Yeah. And I don't I don't you know what I mean? Like, one,
you can't be so stuck in yourego where you can't listen to
somebody else's opinion aboutwhat you're doing. Yes. Maybe
you need to have some pride soyou get it done, but, like, take
the feedback for what it is andrealize that, like, you can
either process that feedback oryou can say, you know, that's
just some whack ass idea.

(31:48):
I don't cool. Thank you. But,like

Danny (31:50):
Yeah. I don't And the people around you you know, the
other thing that I've I'vecommitted to myself is, like, if
that person doesn't service ifhe doesn't service my goals
Mhmm. If they don't service mygoals, if they don't if they
don't improve my life Yeah. Ormake me or challenge myself

Tyler (32:07):
Yeah.

Danny (32:08):
Then I'm probably not gonna be friends with you. Yeah.
Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.
Yeah. I don't I don't wanna befriends with you.

Tyler (32:13):
Yeah.

Danny (32:13):
And I it's not that I'm not I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm
not gonna I'm not gonna, like,be a dick to you. Right. But I'm
probably not going to take mytime Yeah. And, like Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And find out whatmakes you tick. I've been that
person

Tyler (32:25):
Yeah.

Danny (32:26):
Where I wanted to know everything about you, and I'm
cool. I want you to think thatI'm this nice guy and cool and
all of that. Yeah. And now I'mlike, yeah. I've done that.
But what I want is to besurrounded by men who challenge
me.

Tyler (32:39):
Yes.

Danny (32:40):
Men who are way better than me.

Tyler (32:43):
Yeah.

Danny (32:43):
Men who I can bring up Yep. And guys that I can chase.

Tyler (32:47):
Yes.

Danny (32:47):
Right? And be like, man, I want that. I want I want that.

Tyler (32:50):
Yeah.

Danny (32:50):
You know? And and how did you get there? Yes. And what can
I do to get there? Yeah.
And then and then my friends,like, surround yourself with the
best the 5 best deals, and let'sgo let's go take over

Tyler (33:00):
the world. How to do it. Yeah.

Danny (33:01):
You know?

Tyler (33:01):
No. I think that's I think that's super ambitious. I
think that's the right the rightway to think about it. I think
about the many years I kind ofwore that nice guy mask. Right?
Like, I don't know if youremember. Jerry Seinfeld does
this whole thing about wearing amask as a as a kid when he goes
trick or treating and, like,it's got that cheap little
plastic spring. It's, like,cutting into yours. That's what

(33:22):
it starts to feel like. When youwear that nice guy mask and
you're just constantly panderingto, you you know, other people
to get them to like you, like,no.
Fuck them. You need to stand onyour own as a man. And and and
you don't necessarily need toadopt other other people. You
need to build your tribe likewe've talked about millions of

(33:44):
times, and and you needed to doyou needed to determine, like,
where do you stand? What do youstand for?

Danny (33:50):
What are your values? Because if you're if you have
good values Yes. I don't have toconvince myself to like you.
Right. I just have to make surethat my values and your values
are somewhat aligned

Tyler (34:01):
Right.

Danny (34:02):
So that we don't bicker and judge each other about our
values. Yeah. Yeah. Becausethere are values men have there
are people that have differentvalues than men. Yes.
I love my wife.

Tyler (34:15):
Mhmm.

Danny (34:15):
I will do anything for my wife. I will do anything for my
wife. And if it comes with,like, hey. Let's go out drinking
or hang out with Misty, I'mgoing to hang out with Misty.

Tyler (34:24):
Yeah. Yeah.

Danny (34:25):
And and and there's are people that may not have that
same, like, where they're like,man, I wanna go and I wanna go
do something different. No. Thatthen maybe maybe you're not
maybe we're not friends. Yeah.We shouldn't be hanging out
because you're going to make medo things that I don't want to
do.

Tyler (34:39):
You you want to surround yourself by people that lift you
up. If your group is bringingyou down, like, you need to have
a serious come to Jesusconversation with yourself.
Yeah.

Danny (34:49):
If you're out partying

Tyler (34:51):
Yeah.

Danny (34:51):
Getting into bar fights Yeah. Doing stupid shit, chasing
girls

Tyler (34:55):
There's a place and time for that, I think, but you've
got to eventually grow up.Right? Like, that's part of your
learning and and maturingprocess. And it

Danny (35:02):
may be who you are. Right. That's just not who I am.
Right. You know?
And I don't need to hang outwith you. Yeah. Yeah. And there
are people that have figured outways to make money financially
on their own. Yes.
Right? And you should surroundyourself with them.

Tyler (35:19):
I what is this saying? You are the you are the the sum
of the the 5 people you havewith the most? Yeah. I totally
agree. I definitely, this year,want to start surrounding myself
with people that that, you know,one of the the deepest cuts I've
ever gotten, one of the biggestinsults anybody has ever said to
me is, Tyler, you were neverambitious, and you hated wealth.

(35:43):
And and and perhaps I did havesome resentment towards wealth
mostly because I did not haveit. Right? Yeah. And I think a
lot of people are like I mean,there what what is the, what is
the balance? Right?
Like, when do you start lookingat, like, a George Soros or,
like, even an Elon Musk, andyou're like, fuck that guy. He
doesn't need any more money.Right? And it's not that I'm,

(36:05):
like, jealous, but, like, I lovethat we live in a system that
that that you can do that. But,like, at what point does it
become imbalanced?
So you look at something like II hate these megachurches that
have, you know, 1,000,000 ofdollars that don't have to
disclose their their theirbanks. And then you see these
pastors and their these priests,and they have lavish lifestyles,

(36:26):
and they have private jets. Andyou're just like, I'm like, fuck
them. It's not that I hatewealth. I hate that they've
manipulated the system.
Right?

Danny (36:35):
Man, I would I wonder how that works because, like, let's
say there's people that arefinding loopholes. They do
loopholes and they find this,like, loophole bullshit. And
could you bring yourself to findloopholes when you start making
enough money where you're like,I kinda need some fucking
loopholes?

Tyler (36:52):
Well, I mean, I think, you know, I think Apple was was
was a big a a huge example ofthat. Right? Like, they had
their whole they ran all theirbooks through, like, Ireland or
something like that to to to andand I think, cool. If you've got
money and you've got a team thatcan that can figure it out,
like, there was a level oftransparency that they they had

(37:13):
to abide by. Eventually, theygot caught.
And even still, I don't knowwhat, like, what the
repercussions were, but they'rethey're playing the system. It
is a game. The game is outthere.

Danny (37:23):
What if you're the kind I mean, like, let's go I mean,
like, let's go weird. Yeah.Like, what if you're surrounding
yourself with all these wealthypeople who have 0 morals because
they don't they don't they canthey can afford to have 0
morals, and all of a suddenyou're like, what if I get to
that point? You know? I'mterrified of that shit.
I don't wanna be famous.

Tyler (37:43):
I I don't wanna

Danny (37:44):
be famous. I wanna be I wanna be financially set,
financially safe, whichcurrently I am financially safe,
financially set. There are somany more goals that I have, so
many things that I want toaccomplish. I want to be at 85
year old Danny, look back andbeen a successful businessman. I
want it.
I know that 85 year old Dannywill look back and be like, man,

(38:08):
you you did what you wanted todo. Right. You know? And being a
wrestling coach, being injujitsu, being a podcaster,
being an air traffic controlleris pushing me towards those
goals. Yeah.
But I don't wanna be immorallybalanced.

Tyler (38:22):
Yeah.

Danny (38:22):
I do not wanna be I don't wanna be immorally balanced. I
don't wanna be, over there witha bunch of baby oil

Tyler (38:30):
Yeah.

Danny (38:30):
And bullshit Yeah. You know, telling people what to do
because I don't have any moralsanymore.

Tyler (38:34):
Yeah.

Danny (38:34):
And this is the only thing that makes me excited. I
think Like, fucked up in myhead. Yeah. That fucks me up.

Tyler (38:40):
Dude, I think I I wonder I wonder if there there's, like,
a level of money where it justbecomes no fun anymore. Right?
Like, there has to be a aleverage. I'm a big fan of Gary
Vaynerchuk, who's a, kind of oneof those wealth. He took he took
his he was kind of the first inthe podcast space.
He took wine library. Hisparents owned a liquor store in

(39:01):
back east. He took wine library,created basically a wine tasting
channel. He'd taste the wine,spit it out in a bucket. He took
it from doing a $1,000,000 ayear to $5,000,000 a year.
He says he says that, like, onceyou get to, like, 7 to
$10,000,000, like, everythinglike, your life doesn't change
significantly when you're atthat, like, 7 to $10,000,000 to

(39:23):
when you get to the 20 to 30 toa 100. But I wonder if there's,
like, another jump where youjust become more entitled. I
think it's the entitlements

Danny (39:32):
I don't know.

Tyler (39:33):
I think it's the entitlement that that that
scares me. I I or that thatscares me, I will become. Right?
I don't want to feel like I'mentitled to anything. I I want
to go out there and make becauseI'm I'm able to make.
And more importantly, once I getto that point, I want to be able
to give. I don't wanna give to apoint where it actually hurts.

Danny (39:53):
Right.

Tyler (39:54):
Right? Yeah. I want to, like, give till it hurts because
at the end of the day, if I dosomehow to manage to eke out a
little bit of fame, the onlyfame I want is them to be naming
a park after me or to say that,like, he served his community.
He served his fellow man Yeah.In a way that that left a better
spot.

Danny (40:14):
Well, yeah.

Tyler (40:15):
The world a better a better place.

Danny (40:16):
With with money comes fame.

Tyler (40:18):
Right.

Danny (40:18):
You know, your people people will be envious. Right.
There is jealousy. Yes. Yeah.
Yes. I see people who aresuccessful businessmen, and I
have that tinge of jealousy.Right. I see people that own
their own business, and I'mlike, what's the difference
between you and me? What is thedifference?

Tyler (40:35):
Right.

Danny (40:35):
Willing to take a risk, able to take a risk, the fact
that you took a risk, the factthat you know a little bit more
than me, the fact that you putall of your hedge into this
situation and I didn't and Ihaven't. Right? There is that
that is considered jealousy.That is, like, a little bit of
jealousy. I still am stoked.
Yeah. I still remind myself tobe stoked for you. Right.

(40:57):
Because I don't wanna beenvious. I don't wanna I don't
wanna I don't want you to have ablack belt and me be like, man,
I wish I'd had that black belt,and I could kick the shit out of
Tyler.
Yeah. So I should be a blackbelt. No. No. No.
I wanna be like, I am so stokedfor you that you got your black
belt. Yeah. And I I was a partof it. Right. Right?
And there's the where's thatbalance come from? That's that's

(41:18):
where I think this year that I'mgonna try to figure out is I'm
gonna try to find out what's thebalance. What is Where does the
balance come from? Yeah. I wannabe around you.
I want you know? But if you'rein if you're if you're
struggling and I can't help you

Tyler (41:31):
Yeah.

Danny (41:31):
I don't wanna be around you.

Tyler (41:32):
Yeah. Yeah. Do you

Danny (41:33):
know what I'm saying?

Tyler (41:34):
Yeah.

Danny (41:34):
Like, I'll still be your friend. I'll still hang out with
you. But but if you're, like, ifyou're pulling me down because
you won't need a you need apartner, Alex Ramosi says,
everybody had a fucked upchildhood. Yes. Everybody had a
fucked up childhood.
If you wanna be the winner ofthe world's worst fucking
childhood, guess what? You won.Yeah.

Tyler (41:53):
Does it change anything? No.

Danny (41:54):
I had a bad fucked up childhood too. Yeah. You know?
Yeah. Yeah.
But we don't have to do that. Wecould just be like, yeah. You
had a bad childhood. I had a badchildhood, but here we are. Yes.
We have as men.

Tyler (42:03):
Yeah. We have to change the stories. You're right. You
know? One of my mentors, JohnKim, like, he just suffered an
incredible tragedy.
He I don't know if have youheard the about the fires in in
California?

Danny (42:17):
I've seen videos of it. I thought it was AI.

Tyler (42:19):
Yeah. Los Angeles is burning.

Danny (42:21):
That's insane.

Tyler (42:22):
It's literally burning. His house

Danny (42:24):
Hills or some shit, which I've actually looked at because
it's, like, kind of like it's abig area.

Tyler (42:29):
Yeah. He he goes by the angry therapist, and we've
talked about him time and timeagain.

Danny (42:33):
Yeah. For sure.

Tyler (42:33):
He's been a mentor of mine for several years. His
house just completely burneddown.

Danny (42:37):
Gone.

Tyler (42:38):
Just gone to the ground. His whole neighborhood, he's out
showing his neighborhood. He'sgot a GoFundMe up. So if you can
follow the angry therapist andand, you know, you're into
giving, like, there's peoplethat have suffered incredible
tragedy.

Danny (42:52):
Yeah.

Tyler (42:54):
And and, I mean, that's what like, you it just happens.
Like, it happens overnight.Like, it just can in an instant
can change.

Danny (43:02):
You you're crazy to think that life is not fucked up.
Right. Life is fucked up.

Tyler (43:06):
Right.

Danny (43:07):
You you are going to have suffers. You're going to
struggle. Right. Right? You are.
You definitely are.

Tyler (43:11):
And and I I guarantee it. You'll watch somebody like him
who has has built from a placeof authenticity. He will build
back stronger. He will buildback bigger. He will become back
just as strong, and, like, myheart goes out to him and his
family.
I can't imagine what it would belike. We've had fires here in
Heber that that came close toour house, but, like, how

(43:33):
quickly that can just changeeverything. And the the just the
the the complete enormity of itall.

Danny (43:39):
Yeah. And you don't realize it, but you probably
look at it and go, I'm alive.Yeah. Thank god I'm alive. Thank
god my family's alive.
We can rebuild. Yeah. We canrebuild. Right? Yeah.
And so, that's that that was soimportant to me this year too. I
was so grateful that you showedus that letter thing and so,
like, grateful to look back onour life because nothing changed

(44:05):
for me, like, with myfriendships with you and with
with my family, with my boys,with Misty. My boys are healthy.
Misty's healthy.

Tyler (44:14):
Yeah. You

Danny (44:14):
know, we we definitely are in grind time right now with
wrestling, with work. We havenot had a good vacation for a
moment, but I think, like,that's just going to build us
stronger. It's going to buildour ability to accept this life
that we have, that we've thatwe've built. Yeah. You know?
I may be envious of some things.You know? I may be envious of

(44:37):
this some things. But at the endof the day, like, I'm happy with
I'm happy with what my life is.I'm I think that my wife and I
have the same goal.
Like, our our goal is to buildourselves up and build this,
like, lifestyle and this lifethat we have. And then when we
go on vacation, like, vacation,like a motherfucker. Yeah. You

(44:58):
know?

Tyler (44:58):
Same team.

Danny (44:59):
Yeah. Same team.

Tyler (45:00):
Same team. Yeah. And I I mean, it's beautiful how that
little saying, like, it it itit's not only the times when you
are you're disagreeing, butit's, like, when you are
actually planning and doing lifetogether. Like, that's that is
that's that's very beautiful.Question, did you have anything
about wrestling in your letter?

Danny (45:15):
No. No. Am I this year or the last year?

Tyler (45:19):
No. No. Crazy.

Danny (45:20):
Yeah. Crazy. I honestly, honestly believed that I was
done with wrestling. Yeah. Ibelieved it.
When they pulled me back in, youknow, I'm I'm I'm trying to
teach these parents, trying toteach these kids, trying to
teach this coaching staff, like,to have have standards. You
know? One thing that Mike and Italked about today in our
academy was I love thestandards. Mhmm. I love the

(45:42):
standards.
You stay for 20 rounds. Mhmm. Ifyou're not staying for 20
rounds, good. But there's a out.There's a way to get out.
Yeah. You just don't get out andgo. Yeah. Right? The white to
blue.
Yeah. Yeah. The black belttests. Yes. The the way that you
treat Mike, the way that youtreat each other, there's a
standard in that academy.
So in my in the wrestling room,like, I'm trying to create a

(46:04):
standard. Yeah. It takes a time.It takes it takes a village of
people. Right?

Tyler (46:08):
Yeah.

Danny (46:08):
But, yeah, I I I I now am glad that I'm coaching
wrestling. Yeah. You know, it'sfun.

Tyler (46:17):
Yeah. You you can see that, like, the the that your
passion for it. And Yeah.Congratulations. You were on you
were just on Yeah.
Radio KPCW. K KPCW.

Danny (46:26):
Yeah. Thank you.

Tyler (46:26):
A cool a cool article that came out in a cool little

Danny (46:29):
It's going people, like, come and, you know, like,
they're like, hey. I heard youon KPCW or, like, hey. My friend
said they heard you on KPCW. Youknow, like Yeah. Then you're
like, there is a level of fame,you know, that you make.
Right?

Tyler (46:42):
You know, I mean, there's nothing wrong with with working
in your community.

Danny (46:46):
Yeah.

Tyler (46:46):
Right? Like, it's your common unity. You live here.
Yeah. Right?
You want to to build it. Youwant to

Danny (46:52):
You wanna be a part of it.

Tyler (46:53):
You wanna you wanna you wanna leave your mark. For sure.
And I think that I think whatyou were doing isn't like, I'm I
do miss coaching. I miss havingthe influence on the the the
young minds. Yeah.
Right?

Danny (47:06):
They're so fun to be around.

Tyler (47:08):
They are. Adults suck. They kinda do.

Danny (47:11):
It's like

Tyler (47:11):
they're it is. It's like their brains have become less
plastic. They're less flexible.Yeah. Yeah.
It's they do.

Danny (47:18):
They're only self servant. You know? It's all
about them. Yeah. Kids areawesome to be around.

Tyler (47:23):
Yeah.

Danny (47:24):
Did you when you look back and you're, like, now and
you and you you're movingforward. Right? You're moving
forward with things. Is theresomething that stands out that
you say, this will change? Iwill change this.

(47:45):
I will change this about me thisyear, and I want somebody to and
I want to to put that out thereso that if if I'm not there, I
want to be like, hey, Tyler.Don't forget what you what you
want to change about yourself.

Tyler (48:02):
That's a great question. That's a great question. I don't
know that I was forward thinkingenough to actually put something
like that down Not to think onthat one. And, like, I'm
probably might have to write anamendment

Danny (48:14):
Right.

Tyler (48:15):
To my to my letter because I think that's
important. Right? Like, I thinkmy goals right now are I think
one of the areas where I wasvery disappointed was my, like,
my fitness and my jujitsu.Right? There was a couple week
weeks prior to the end of theyear where we had a bunch of
drop ins and just some monsterrounds.

(48:38):
I mean, the amount of peoplethat have been in the gym lately
I don't know if it's the newyear. I don't know if it's the
end of the last year. But, like,there are people that are coming
out of the woodwork. And I'mI've just come to the point
where, like, I need to get to apoint where whatever I'm doing
outside of the the gym helps mefunction better in in the gym.

(49:03):
Sure.
You know, I I wear a blue belt,so I'm still a target for some
of these white belts. Like

Danny (49:10):
Yeah.

Tyler (49:11):
Tonight, man. Tonight was some crazy rounds. There's a a a
white belt that that came backafter a long time, and he's just
like, he's chiseled. Yeah.

Danny (49:21):
Fucking But you grab his back. It's like Yeah. It's like
a handle of muscle.

Tyler (49:25):
Yeah. And I'm like, I he's technical. He's good. But,
like, there you can tell thathe's also compensating with some
some physicality.

Danny (49:35):
Oh, shit.

Tyler (49:35):
Which which for me, like, I I I'm starting to know my game
a little bit better. I'mstarting to know where I really
excel. But I got to a pointwhere I'm like, I can't match
his energy. I have to justmaintain position.

Danny (49:50):
Yep.

Tyler (49:51):
So I got in mount, and I just held on like I was riding
fucking Fumashu and needed 8seconds.

Danny (49:58):
Yeah.

Tyler (50:00):
And and and and for me, like, that was it. Like, that's
all I could do. It took me ittook it just took that's what it
took my 40 year old 43 year oldbody to get to to to get to that
position, and I was happy. I washappy with the outcome. Yeah.
I didn't need it to happen. Imaintained the position that I
got to the position I wanted toget to when I maintained it.

Danny (50:18):
Do you have fourth thought forethought enough to
know, like, things that, like,you could see Danny improving
on? Like, that you could belike, this is something that I
think you can improve on. Do youhave enough forethought with
that? Or is that one of thosethings that you, like, get I

(50:38):
don't think it's my place.

Tyler (50:40):
I think if you brought me something and said, hey. No.
It's not my place to tell youwhat to fucking do.

Danny (50:46):
Right.

Tyler (50:47):
I I I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't want to. And what
good would it do for me toproject onto you what I think
you should do?

Danny (50:54):
Yeah.

Tyler (50:56):
I am more than willing to partner with anybody who's
willing to do the work and helpbecome a battle buddy and an
accountability buddy. Sure.Like, I love that idea,
especially if there's somealignment in in what we're
trying to do. Sure. Like, in ourjujitsu game, like, you drive me
to go.
You drive me to keep going. Youdrive me to get better. You you
drive me to think about, like,think about the big picture, and

(51:20):
then, also, how do I apply whatI learned in the gym to what I
learned in my real life? And Ilove I love that aspect of our
our relationship, but I wouldnever go as far as to project
you you need to changesomething.

Danny (51:35):
That's good. That's a good thought. And I and I
appreciate that because, like,sometimes, like, in the moment,
you could be like, hey. This islike, hey. Like, you know, don't
like, be cooler.
Be be a better be a better this.Right? And that's important to
have friendships like that.Right?

Tyler (51:49):
I think I think that's I think that's a little bit
different. Right? Like, ifyou're if you're experiencing
some maladaptive behavior andyou wanna help bring that up,
like, that's that's different.But, like, for for for most for
the most part, like, we we'vewe've covered that. Like, if
you're somebody that has thattype of behave like, if your
behavior doesn't align with myvalues, my morals, like, I'm not

(52:12):
hanging out with you.
Right. I'm not I'm not I'm notputting myself in that position
where I have to correct yourshit time and time and time
again.

Danny (52:18):
Right.

Tyler (52:18):
Like, I don't have patience for it anymore.

Danny (52:21):
Yeah. One thing that I, that I one thing that I worked
on that I needed to work on alot was defending defending my
people, like defending Misty,defending the boys, defending my
friendships, defending you.Right? I would tend to, like,

(52:41):
watch what you would do and thentell you what you should do as
opposed to be like, no. I'mdefending you.
Like, if somebody says somethingbad about you, I'm defending
you. Don't talk about them likethat. You know, don't talk about
Misty like that. Yeah. Misty isthis.
Misty is that. And I'll and I'llstick up for her right away.
Yeah. I'll stick up for Tylerright away. I'll stick up for
Jesse right away, you know, now.

(53:02):
And that's something that Iworked a lot on. I worked really
hard to be, like, better atthat.

Tyler (53:07):
I mean, that I think that's definitely hard. You you
wanna protect that that stuffthat's valuable too. I think
that's that's, again, an aningrained like, that's the
protector in us all. Yeah.

Danny (53:15):
And

Tyler (53:15):
we don't always do I I I don't always do the best job.

Danny (53:19):
And not be, like, aggressive male, like, wanna
fight, but just be, like, stern.Like, yeah, you can't talk about
that person like that. You know?Yeah. Yeah.
This year, one thing that I wantto really, really work on is,
not be fake with people. Like,if I'm if if we don't get along,
I'm gonna be like, hey, man.Like, I'll just kindly remove

(53:41):
myself from the situation. ButYeah. A lot of times, I know
that I am fake smiling, fakebullshitting with you Yeah.
Because I would just rather benice and kind instead of, like,
walk away from you. But thisyear, like, if it doesn't serve
me purpose, if you don't serveme purpose, if if I hear of
something that I don't likeabout you, I'm gonna kindly

(54:02):
remove myself from thesituation. I'm not gonna be mean
to you. I'm not gonna be mean toyou. Yeah.
But I'm going to, like,disassociate or probably find
ways not to hang out or dothings with you because I don't
wanna be around you. Yeah. Andthat was a goal to myself that
I'm really gonna try to holdmyself to. And and if most
people know me, know how hardthat is for me because I pride

(54:25):
myself on being very socialYeah. Very likable.
You are

Tyler (54:29):
very you are. You are. You are very social.

Danny (54:31):
Very likable.

Tyler (54:32):
Think that's I don't think that's necessarily a wrong
thing either. Like, you can't bereal friends with fake people.

Danny (54:37):
I agree.

Tyler (54:38):
And it's and and, you are very good at being kind and
polite to people and giving themtheir space. I don't think
there's anything wrong withthat. And I think that's
honorable that you would you'llsay, I'm gonna walk away from
that bullshit. I'm gonna walkaway from that bullshit. I'm
probably gonna make fun of you.
Yeah. Whether it's to your faceor behind your back, I'm
probably gonna make fun of you.If I think you're fake, if I

(54:58):
think you are it's probably nota good thing for me. I probably
should work on doing theopposite just, like, walk just
walking away. But if I thinkyou're full of shit, I'm I'm
I've been in this I've been inthe mindset where I'm I'm
telling you I'm telling youyou're full of shit.
Like, I think you're full ofshit.

Danny (55:16):
Yeah.

Tyler (55:16):
And maybe it'd be better for me to just walk away.

Danny (55:18):
Yeah. For sure. Well, that that was amazing. I'm glad
we got to re rehash everything.You know, I can't say enough,
like, what Nick's passing didfor me.
Yeah. You know? And I know thatas these episodes come out,
like, we'll be closer to to theyear anniversary. And Yeah. And

(55:40):
I'm here for whatever you need.
And, you know, you tell yourmom, like, I'm here for her and
stuff, you know, and it itdefinitely changed. It
definitely changed our life.Yeah. And it was so fast how
fast sorry. It was crazy to me,and it was eye opening to me how
fast it happened

Tyler (55:59):
Yeah.

Danny (55:59):
And how fast, like, the direction shifted for Yeah. For
everything and everybody around.And it's a bummer that that's
the thing that changes you.

Tyler (56:09):
Yeah.

Danny (56:09):
And I hope that, like, we live our lives going, is this
does this matter to will thismatter when we're 85 years old?

Tyler (56:17):
It's so

Danny (56:18):
What if we don't make it to 85 years old? Yeah. You know?
And that's what that show that'swhat that taught me.

Tyler (56:23):
It's so it's so interesting because I was I was
talking to one of the the guysin the, one of the guys in the
gym as we were leaving. He wastelling me a very similar story.
You know, 35 year old coworkerof his has literally nearly
drank himself to death. Dude'ssitting on life support right
now. You know, and they're likehis crew, the crew that he works
with, shout out to Berg daddy.

(56:45):
Like, they know you listen.Like, that sucks to watch, to be
in that position. And I don'tknow why it's gonna coincide.
We're talking about this. End ofthe year, beginning of the year.
I mean, it doesn't make it anybetter if it happens later, but,
like, these are all aboutrebirth and, like, re like,
resolution and and startingover, but, like, to be stuck in
that space and how quickly shitcan change Mhmm. It it it sucks.

(57:12):
But at the end of the day,you've gotta to you gotta look
at it and you gotta say, okay.How do I become a better man?
Yep.
He's not here. He's not here,but how do I become a better
man? And this gentleman that'son on life support, I hope, you
know, his family doesn't have tomake terrible decisions. You
know, I I it it sucks. It sucks.

(57:33):
And I'm grateful for friends. Iwas the one thing that I wrote
down. My my word of the year wasgratitude. I'm grateful to have
been in your home on ChristmasEve, and, like, I was looking at
how do I redefine what does thisholiday mean for me? And I left
your house.
I know I kind of I kind of snuckout of the back though. I did

(57:55):
the old Irish exit, but, like, Iwalked out of there with so much
gratitude that I just felt likemy heart was full. Yeah. My
Christmas Eve could not havebeen more complete, and I and I
was just fueled for the rest ofthe holiday. Stoked.
So Yeah. Appreciate you.

Danny (58:10):
Appreciate that.

Tyler (58:12):
To 2025, it's gonna be a kick ass.

Danny (58:15):
Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Let's
see let's see what the goalscome up. Let's see if we can,
let's see if we can make stridein Yeah. In our lives.
And, hopefully, we make wecontinue to make strides in the
podcast world where where man,every every person that I listen
to, every person that I talk tois like, you guys should be so
proud of yourself Yeah. For howlong you've made it. Yeah. The

(58:36):
fact that you're still doing it.Yeah.
And 5 years, 5 year cusp, 3 to 5year cusp is when you really
make those strides Yeah. Reallymake those big gains. You know?
We're approaching, you know,like, gosh. We're we're we're
we're hitting that stride.
You know? And Yeah. I think thatthat it only is gonna get better
from here Yeah. With us and themen that we the men that we have

(58:59):
been able to to reach is justgonna grow and grow and grow.
And and one day, we're gonna be,you know, people that can really
help men Yeah.
And improve their lives. Youknow? And I hope that we're
doing that now.

Tyler (59:12):
I I I hope we're doing that that that too. If we were
to have one goal for the podcastof the year, what would you want
it to be?

Danny (59:18):
I want it to be I want it to reach more. I want it to I
want it to expand. I want it toreach more. I want to be I want
people to constantly be talkingabout it and sharing it. Mhmm.
And I want our listener, ourlistenership to go through the
roof. Yeah. And the sharing, andpeople, like, really share

Tyler (59:36):
Yeah.

Danny (59:37):
Share our message.

Tyler (59:37):
Dude, nobody has ever come to me and said, oh, it's
you guys are doing such a shittyjob. Like, I'm surprised that
nobody like, I'm sure I knowI've got a couple haters out
there. Yeah. I know I got acouple haters out there. But
nobody's ever come to me andsaid, like, hey.
You're you're doing it. So ifyou enjoy it, do us a favor.
Like, subscribe. Do do thethings that you know will help

(01:00:00):
share the message. I'm gonna addI wanna get a guest on.
I want we've been talking aboutguests. We've had we've flirted
with the ideas. We had ATCJeremy on last year. In addition
to to growing, I would love tohave some guests on, so hit us
up. Yep.
We're here to we're we're herewe're here as a community. Yep.

(01:00:22):
We're here as a communitybecause our voice

Danny (01:00:25):
Excuse me.

Tyler (01:00:26):
Resonates with what however you're feeling. So hit
us up. If you wanna be a gueston the show, you know, you have
some ideas on who might be agood guest, we're we're all
grassroots. For sure. I think mymy goal for this is just to bend
to just keep chugging along.
Yeah. I just love it.

Danny (01:00:41):
I love it.

Tyler (01:00:42):
Live these sessions. They're they're they're
therapeutic.

Danny (01:00:44):
For sure. I appreciate you.

Tyler (01:00:45):
Yeah. Appreciate you.

Danny (01:00:46):
K. Let's, until the next time.

Tyler (01:00:48):
Till the next time.

Danny (01:00:48):
Appreciate you guys. Cheers. See you guys.