October 25, 2024 • 46 mins
Ever struggled with tech? Yeah, same here! In this episode, Tyler and Danny come clean about last week’s audio mishaps (don’t worry, we think we’ve got it sorted). From the joys of learning podcasting on the go to deeper conversations about wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and navigating life’s unexpected lessons, the guys explore how to embrace imperfection and keep laughing through the challenges—on and off the mat.
Set against the crisp backdrop of Utah’s mountains, they discuss life’s rapid pace, wrestling with perfectionism, and the importance of staying grounded in the present. They also explore the role of mentorship and how it reflects life’s highs and lows, reminding us that real growth often comes from the hardest lessons.
Grab your winter coat (or, if you’re like Tyler, your flip-flops) and join the conversation as The Lost Boy Scouts continue their journey through the beautiful chaos of manhood, learning, and everything in between.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tyler (00:07):
Welcome back to the Lost Boy Scouts podcast.
Danny (00:10):
We got
Tyler (00:10):
hopefully, we got it right this time.
Danny (00:11):
Yeah. Hopefully. Jeremy called me, and and I don't know
if you've seen his message, buthe was like, hey. You know that
the first 15 minutes is, like,really scratchy and all that?
And I was like and then 2seconds later, he said, oh, that
must have been what you weretalking about at the beginning
of the podcast.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's it's like alearning experience.
Tyler (00:30):
Right? It really is. I mean, I like to think myself as
technical, but there's there'sdifferent types of technical.
Right? There's all this audio,this video, this stuff that I'm
learning, like, stuff that I'vealways I've always loved cameras
and this kind of stuff.
But,
Danny (00:43):
man What a crazy, Yeah. Yeah. We're, back out in the
mountains of Utah. Same spot.Things have changed a little
bit.
Like, some of the leaves havefallen off. It snowed for the
first time for the year. Iwasn't stoked on it. I Yeah.
Yeah.
I had to drive in it today, andI was like, everybody at work
(01:05):
was like, do you have shoes on?And I I never wear shoes. I
always wear flip flops orsandals. But it's part of, like,
what we live in and I the beautyof our 4 seasons. Right?
Yeah. The ability to have 4seasons. I'm not a cold weather
person. So Yeah.
Tyler (01:24):
I'm bundled up. I like to see myself as a polar bear,
although, man, this year hasgone by so fast, it feels like.
How fast is October gone?
Danny (01:33):
Yeah. It's insane. It's almost halfway over. Yeah. I
wonder if it's just that we'vebeen busy and, like, life just
goes life life just doesn't slowdown.
Right? It's it's one of
Tyler (01:43):
those things that for me, particularly, it's like a hard
it's hard. It's hard to it'shard to handle the the rapid
change. Like, I want to be soproductive.
Danny (01:52):
Yeah.
Tyler (01:52):
Again, my perfectionism, like, really Gets the
Danny (01:54):
best of me.
Tyler (01:55):
Gets the best of me. I'm like, I see that the time is,
like, really speeding by, but atthe same time, like, I have to
hit the brakes and say, okay.Same as my jujitsu. Right? Like,
I don't see the progress that Ihave in my outside life, but,
you know, my kids do.
We've we've we've moved. We'vewe've established a new
Danny (02:12):
Yeah. Life has moved on.
Tyler (02:13):
Yeah. Life has moved on.
Danny (02:15):
And And you've grown and gotten better, and and some
things stay the same and somethings don't. Right?
Tyler (02:19):
Yeah. And the things that I really don't want like, the
things that I'm really, like,pushing myself to do and to to
be different, if they haven'tgotten
Danny (02:26):
to where I want them to be, then
Tyler (02:27):
I get really hard on myself for sure.
Danny (02:28):
Yeah. Yeah. Same same. I'm the same way. I I, I tend to
like I talked about, I I tend toresonate.
I tend to look at what's gonnago on in the future. Like,
what's the next year hold?What's the next 4 months hold?
And then when I listen to my mymorning meditation music, it's
always, like, stop doing that.
Tyler (02:49):
Yeah.
Danny (02:49):
Don't go in the
past because that's where their wounds are at. Right. And
don't go in the future becausethat's where, like, expectation
and that we talked about lastweek, expectation bias happens.
Because if you don't if youdon't accomplish those, you
know, what you what you thinkyou should, then you feel like
it's a failure. Even in allreality, life's life's not a
failure because you just maybelose sometimes, but it's a
(03:11):
lesson learned.
Right? Yeah. And that's alwayswhat I tell myself in the
morning. Like, stay in themoment. Stay in the moment,
Danny.
Stay in the moment. Don't don'tmove on. And definitely don't
look back
Tyler (03:23):
Yeah.
Danny (03:23):
At at what what could have been, what should have
been, or what I want. Yeah.Because you'll always you'll
never accomplish what you thinkyou should have accomplished.
Tyler (03:33):
I I totally agree. I think, obviously, there's some
beauty in sitting and resonatingand finding resolution in in
those wounds and, like,understanding the triggers and
where they where they might showup in the future. Right? Where
in the where my wounded pastmight I revert to if I don't
understand it. Right?
Like, I have to I have to buildsome resonance and understanding
(03:54):
into how is that past woundshowing up in my present. Right.
And that's and then then that'sfor me. Right? Like, that's
where this perfectionism I'msetting this expectation just
like you we we talked about lastweek.
You know? Gotta get out
Danny (04:06):
of those glory days. Yeah. The glory days are well
and, like, you know, there'sthere's chapters of your life
where, like, you can rememberback, and you're like, man, that
was such a fun chapter of mylife. Then there's other
chapters of your life whereyou're like, man, that was I'm
glad I made it out of there alot. Yeah.
Yeah.
Tyler (04:24):
You
Danny (04:24):
know? And and, like, I'm glad that, like, things I'm here
today. Right. You know? There'sdefinitely been times in my life
where I'm like, man, there's agood chance I didn't I wouldn't
have made it out of that thatchapter had I not had resilience
Yes.
And and the people around me,the people that surround Yeah.
(04:45):
That that gave me passes. Right?
Tyler (04:47):
Yeah.
Danny (04:48):
And, the glory days, it's so funny when, you know, you see
those guys that are stuck in theglory days, you know, and
they're like
you're like, you're not the
high school quarterback anymore, dude.
Tyler (04:58):
I I feel like with the van setup, we should have that
Napoleon Dynamite football. Doyou remember that scene?
Danny (05:02):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler (05:03):
Back in the morning high school, I could throw a pigskin
over them hills.
Danny (05:05):
Over them hills.
Tyler (05:06):
Over them hills. Yeah. And they're right here, man.
It's just so gorgeous out heretoday. Oh, man.
Danny (05:10):
Today today was, yeah, today is, today has been great.
I had to work, you know, I workovertime Yeah. On Fridays, and
it was actually not that bad ofa day. Plus I knew we were gonna
come out, or we were gonna gettogether in podcast. Yeah.
It was a good week because weactually trained a bunch
together
Yeah. Yeah.
This week, which, for me, is always fun seeing my friends,
(05:32):
at the academy and and seeingthe seeing from my perspective
the way the academy is goingand, like Yeah. Tuesday, night
was kind of, like, rough, like,bunch of bunch of really hard
training. And then Wednesdaynight was just so quiet. Yeah.
But it was really hard training.
It was. It was So quiet. It waslike, professor talks about, you
(05:55):
know, when it's a good academywhen you walk in, all yours,
shh. Yeah. No talking.
No no grunting. No crazy noises.Just quiet. Everybody's
breathing quiet, and that's howWednesday was. It was, like,
really cool, but high leveltraining.
You know? Really high leveltraining. So it was fun.
Tyler (06:13):
Music a trend in the gym the last few weeks. Like, we've
not been very active with, like,the bottom half of the body, a
lot of foot locks, a lot ofankle locks. It feels like in
the last few weeks sinceprofessors started teaching the,
the leg leg entanglements that,like, those are popping up more
and more.
Danny (06:32):
Yeah. Me
Tyler (06:32):
and I I blame myself too because I'm there's some
positions I'm trying to work on,trying to get and
Danny (06:36):
Well, just opens up so much more of the body. It opens
up and and opens up so much moreof, like, it's like a whole
another book inside of the book.Right? And now you're like, if
you're not careful, you'll godown that book and you'll forget
about everything else. Right?
Right. And I think that's thethe benefits of like that.
(06:57):
That's why it's, like, so trueto me to life. Yeah. Wrestling
is such a big part of my life.
Yeah. It's a really big part ofmy life, and and, you know, I
got some news about, mywrestling journey and how
wrestling's gonna continue on inmy life. But, you know,
wrestling always has, like,happiness. There's always Yeah.
(07:19):
It's it's a grind.
It sucks. But there's always,like, you always, like, see
results. Yeah. Right? Andthere's always a shelf life.
In jujitsu, there's always,like, happiness, but there's
never, like, that, oh, I got itYeah. Moment. Yeah. It's always,
like, oh, fuck. There's so muchmore.
Right. There's so much more toit. Right. And I think that's
(07:43):
how life is. Is is you go, man,I'm happy.
Man, I'm stoked, but holy shit.I have nothing figured out.
Yeah. Yeah. Your kids presentsomething new to you, and you're
like, well, this is the firsttime I'm dealing with this.
Yeah. Let's let's go down thispath. Yeah.
Tyler (07:57):
Yeah. Yeah. And that's good for you, I think. I think
that that that's a marker ofgrowth. I watched, I watched
Foxcatcher Oh.
For the first time because Iheard I heard you guys talking
about it. Didn't realize, like,the to the area, the connection
that Schultz the Schultz has hadboth with BYU and, just in the
in living in the area.Interestingly enough, my I have
(08:19):
an uncle who who wrestled forthe BYU I haven't read them yet.
Wrestling team probably maybenear the tail end of that time.
Okay.
Because, like, what, Foxcatcher,like, his the murder actually
happened in 2006 I
Danny (08:31):
think so.
Tyler (08:32):
From what I understand. So it would have been right
around that time. Perhapsthere's some I'm about to do
some research and see if therewas any paths that crossed. But,
man, what an incrediblediscipline those brothers had.
Danny (08:45):
You know, I don't you know my story. Like, I didn't I
knew about collegiate wrestling.I knew about wrestling, but I
didn't really start payingattention to it until until
right about 2010, maybe 2009,right around that area. Mhmm. So
and it all happened becauseBraxton, my oldest son, joined
(09:08):
the wrestling team.
And once that happened, then mylife immersed into wrestling.
Right? And so I know about Daveand Mark Schultz. I've trained
with people that have trainedwith Mark, and and their
upbringing and the way that theyapproached wrestling was is was
fanatical. Right?
(09:28):
But, also, they were known forbeing so mean. Oh, really? So
mean to you. Yeah. Like, mean toyou.
Like, if you if you werewrestling them, you knew that
that you better protect yourarms and you better protect
everything because they weregonna try to rip it off. Wow.
You know? And but then I heardI've heard stories about Dave,
just how nice and kind and, likeYeah. Just a beautiful soul he
(09:50):
was, you know, and loved hisbrother so much.
And that whole thing, the waythat it played out is a is a
bummer. If you haven't seenFoxcatcher, if you haven't seen
the story, I mean, it's it'spretty crazy the way that it the
way that it turned out becauseDave Schultz was he was the guy
for Yeah. USA wrestling. Yeah.He was the guy.
He still to this day, like,people talk about him, and he's
a legend of the sport and thenended up getting murdered.
Tyler (10:11):
Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because you the the
gentleman, John du Pont. Yeah.Like, one, it's an incredible
movie.
It came out in
Speaker 4 (10:21):
2016. Yeah. Probably.
Tyler (10:22):
I think last night because I I watched I finished
it last night, and then I, ofcourse, you know, got on the
Internet. And, like, I'm tryingto understand, like, okay. What
happened? Like, I didn't realizethat the the movie is actually
kind of a, has that I didn'tknow that the murder was
associated. I thought it's a Ijust thought it was a movie
about wrestling.
Right. And I heard some guys atthe academy talking about it,
(10:43):
and, I was like, man, I shouldprobably go watch that, you
know, b team jiu jitsu has theirfox catcher Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You know
Danny (10:49):
Yeah.
Tyler (10:50):
Series that they do too. So it's like, I what is this
about? What do I need to, likeand so yeah. But the the dude
came from incredible means, andyou watch it, and the way the
the movie portrays him is that,like, he's kind of a kind of a
total poser. Kind of just usesmoney Yeah.
To to like, he wanted to be thisperson. He was trying to fake it
(11:13):
through money. Like, and he wasreally trying
Danny (11:15):
to fake He thought he could.
Tyler (11:16):
Status and prestige through through money.
Danny (11:18):
For sure.
Tyler (11:19):
And, unfortunately, like, we do that. We put people on the
pedestal be because
Danny (11:25):
they have money. Yeah. Money definitely can, can gloss
over or or hide a lot of things.Right. Right?
And you you can't fake verylong, if you haven't put in the
(11:45):
work. Right. If you haven't putin the work, you can fake it,
but you but eventually, peoplewill see through that cloth or
see through that sheet. Right.Right?
And especially in a combatsport. Right. Right? You can put
yourself out there and
Tyler (11:55):
do There's that scene where his mom comes into the gym
on the the the she's wheeledinto the on the wheelchair, and
there's a bunch of spoilershere. Sorry. If you haven't
watched it, I don't feel too badfor you because it's it's an old
movie, but he John DuPont, like,starts talking about like, he's
he's he's trying to prove to hismom that like, you can totally
(12:15):
see he's trying to prove to hismom that he's, like, leading
this group of men.
Danny (12:19):
Yeah.
Tyler (12:19):
And that he and he teaches, like, a basic arm drag
and, like, a basic Yeah. Likeposition. Right. And and at the
end, Dave kinda gets up and he'slike, alright, let's, let's work
on arm tracks.
Danny (12:30):
Like Yeah. Like, yeah.
Tyler (12:31):
This level of wrestling that these guys are at are so
far beyond Working on that. Thatthat but that's what he could
offer. Right? He what he wastrying to prove to his mom and,
like, that's there's a man whojust does not have did not have
resonance with his past. I mean,and it shows in, like, when they
went to trial and he had the,you know, basically where they
say he was he had a mentalbreakdown for that,
Danny (12:52):
and that's why he, you know, like, we've kinda talked
about impostor syndrome Yeah.Before. Right? And impostor
syndrome, like, in that in thatmoment of, like, thinking that
you know Right. More than whatyou actually know is is is so
prevalent sometimes
Right.
(13:13):
In your life. Right? You're like Yeah. You see
something, you're like, that guyhas no idea what he's talking
about. Yeah.
But he's able to he's able totrick a couple people or money
talks. Yeah. And now you haveto, pretend like you know
because this dude is paying yourpaycheck. Right? You're like,
oh, yeah.
Okay.
Tyler (13:32):
Where he does the the wrestling Yeah. Tournament. It's
got his name on the tournament.Yeah. You see him slide the cash
to the guy that kinda takes thedive.
You're just like, shit. Like, Ican't
Danny (13:41):
feel good. I know. It's gotta
Tyler (13:43):
be so bad for you to be surrounded by people like Yes,
man. Yes, man. Yeah. Like,surrounded by people that are
just yes, man.
Danny (13:50):
Have you ever been in an environment like that?
Tyler (13:52):
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Where you've had
Danny (13:53):
to be the play that part and also be on the other end?
Tyler (13:56):
I think when we when we act from a place of insecurity,
when we act from from our ourpseudo self Sure. We be we are
the yes men. Absolutely. I was ayes man up until, you know, and
I do still find myself seeing,like, me go into that peep they
call people pleasing. Right?
People pleasing. Dan Glover, theno more mister nice guy, his
book is all about we do thisbecause we want to be accepted.
(14:19):
He wanted to be accepted in thiscommunity. It did not matter
that John was, like, aornologist or amazing bird
watcher. He's a very published,but, like, maybe that's how his
whole life was that he justspent his way into becoming
these things, and he neverreally authentically had it.
I don't know. Sure. And I don'twanna necessarily speak ill of
the dead anymore, but, like, hedidn't need to he didn't need to
(14:41):
be. He could've just been themoney, and the money could've
been enough
Danny (14:44):
to make this incredible program. Right. I fall into when
when I first started coachingwrestling because I actually
never wrestled. Never had auntil I was an adult, never had
a wrestling match. I I didwrestle in veterans nationals
like I talked about only so thatI could so that I could
understand the experience, butit was it's not like being a kid
(15:05):
wrestling.
Right. You know, being a kidwrestling in junior high, high
school, and then subsequentlycollege if you decide to do
that, I I see it. I see thepressures. I see the I see how
it changes, you and how me,personally, like, I came into it
thinking that, I was just gonnahelp. And then now that I'm
(15:28):
coaching, I'm like, how can Iteach these things?
How can I how can I resonate oror or even associate with these
young men and young women whenI've never done what they've
done? Right. Like, I've neverI've never been in that position
as a as a child where yourparents and your family and your
team and your school are lookingat you as this wrestler who's
(15:50):
who has this weight of this, youknow, this weight of what your
expectations are. And thatimpostor syndrome, it it it
would get the best of mesometimes. Yeah.
Yeah. And I would, I would shyback because I didn't wanna be
seen as somebody that would be,like, telling you how to do
something when you've actuallydone it Yeah. 10000 times when
(16:13):
I've never done it once. Yeah.Right?
And and that that to me was,like, god, it was such a big
learning experience for me. Itwas such a big learning
experience for me.
Tyler (16:22):
I've definitely had that same same experience in
lacrosse. Right? Lacrosse for megrowing up, I I I played through
high school. Post high school, Iplayed, you know, on some some
collegiate level club teams.Nothing ever really associated
with too many too many colleges.
But at the at the time, when Iwas in high school, college
lacrosse, division 1 lacrossewas as as far
Danny (16:42):
as you could take it. Right.
Tyler (16:43):
And so if you had if you were if you were connected to
coaching at that level, you youhad more credibility. Right?
Sure. You were seen as morecredible. So how do you how do
you stay connected with thesupport that you love, that you
enjoy when you don't necessarilyhave the credibility?
I think some of it comes fromkilling your idols a little bit.
Sure. Right? You know, they maybe good at at one thing, but
(17:07):
what what can you bring? Right.
What can you bring? You canbring an incredible perspective
on what it means to be to endureSure. To to work in a combat
sport, to be in the cage, to toto to mental aspect of it rather
than just being like, oh, yes.I'm this, you know, big swinging
dick on the wrestling mat or onthe lacrosse field. Like, that's
(17:28):
when our ego is spun out ofcontrol.
Sure. We don't we don't I don'thave anything to prove on
lacrosse to anyone in thisvalley.
Danny (17:34):
It's take
Tyler (17:35):
it taken me a long time to to to get there. Right? Like,
it's taken me a long time to eatand and a lot of humble pie and
eating crow to to say, you know,it doesn't matter. I I had to,
you know again, when I was inthose scenarios where I was
pretending to be something thatI wasn't, I was really acting
from a place of pseudo self.Pseudo self.
Danny (17:57):
Because my parents got divorced at such a such a young
age, you know, my mom my mom hada long term relationship with a
man. Mhmm. And and he's not withus anymore. He was great. He was
great.
He he was he he was a goodperson, but it's funny because,
like, even though I didn't havea good relationship with my dad
(18:19):
Mhmm. He's my dad. Right. I knowwho my dad is. I never have to
question
who my dad is,
you know? My dad is is big Danny O'Conia
Yeah.
And I never looked to another man. I never looked to
my mom's long term partner as afather. Yeah. Never. He had he
he had some good qualities forhim that that maybe, like, those
(18:42):
I was like, you know, he's agood dude, but, I knew who my
dad was.
Yeah. I never questioned
Speaker 4 (18:47):
See? Never questioned.
Tyler (18:48):
And and I was the same way. Like, my mom was never in a
relationship. Never. Never.Still to this day.
And I think that, like,hopefully, she finds that for
herself, but my dad was in somany. Other than one, like, I
didn't really see them as asimpacting my life. They weren't
they weren't players in my lifeSure. At 17, 18 years old. Yeah.
Right? They weren't they weren'tplayers. They I honestly, I
(19:09):
respect them because I'm a goodhuman and I respect other
people, but they weren't, like,I they weren't there to parent
me or mother me or to to teachme anything. My mom was always
my mom. My dad was always mydad.
Although there is I'm I'm what'scoming to mind is the gentleman,
I don't think they trainanymore. He was the federal
agent. Oh, yeah. And he used tobring his children in it. And it
(19:30):
was I probably had been trainingfor 9 months before I found out
that, like, those weren't hiskids.
Right. Those weren't his kids.He just was training to make
himself better, but he wasbringing in these kids that were
obviously a little a littleundiscoordinated, and and and he
was treating them like they werehis kids. Right? And I I mean, I
think He's such a good dude.
(19:50):
Right?
Danny (19:50):
Oh, he's such a good dude. And I think he and and
and, like, man, talk about,like, being around people just
in our in our in our in ourtopic tonight of mentorship.
Yeah. His kid, like you said,like, those kids that came in
with him, they were great. Yeah.
They were great kids. They're sogreat. But him, his job is one
(20:11):
of those ones with the FBI thatyou just hate Yeah. The fact
that that there's that he has todo it. But he he does a great
job at it.
It's a very unique skill setthat he does. And every time I
talk to him, every time I seehim, I'm always like, man, thank
you so much for protecting andkeeping us safe because it's a
unique it's a unique thing. Andso even, like, a little tiny
(20:33):
relationship like that is amentorship that you take
something from. Right. Right?
And and and as men, we have towe have to find little bits and
pieces that we like of peopleMhmm. That we're like, okay. I
like that, and I'm gonna growthat about myself. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm gonna be that way,Especially because having no
father in my life, I had to, Ihad to learn things the hard way
(20:59):
sometimes when raising my boys.Yeah. When we found wrestling,
it was a lifesaver for me Yeah.Because it allowed me so much
time with my boys, so much time.My boys and I spent so much time
together.
Sometimes not you know,sometimes they probably, they
don't have the fondest memoriesof of some of those things.
(21:20):
But I but but at the end of
the day, like, I had fond memories of the fact that, like,
I was able to find that thatcommunity, and it taught me so
much. Then next thing, boom, jiujitsu. Yeah. And now I have this
great community around myself.Yeah.
My friendships, as a man are sogreat, and I feel like it's it's
(21:43):
it's what, like, my purpose is.Right? And mentorship is a big
part of my life. It's a big partof my life, and I think, like,
I've been lucky. I've I've gotgreat people around me, and I've
met men that I'm like, man, Ireally like that guy about I
like that quality about Yeah.
Yeah. I'm gonna try to be likethat.
Tyler (21:59):
And and maybe that's the true point of mentorship is that
we don't put these people on toomuch of a pedestal. We don't
want them to become too elevatedwhere they become idolized.
Again, watch out for that. Andand perhaps this is my own
twisted past coming out of ahigh demand religion. Right?
And we, like, we put certainpeople on a pedestal and we
wanna emulate this person and,like, even in modern
(22:20):
Christianity, it's like, I wannabe like Jesus. And, like, yes.
As an allegory, I love theconcept of Jesus who was this
person that was, like, ultraforgiving, loving, like you know
what I mean? Those are he heexhibited some qualities that I
really that I really loved. Do Iwant to be like that?
Absolutely. Do I need to put himon a pedestal and worship him? I
(22:43):
don't know. I I don't knowbecause I don't know, like,
really, I don't know if thestory was actually true.
Danny (22:50):
Sure.
Tyler (22:50):
I I I think that, like, it for me, it makes a great
allegory. It makes a great agreat story. I understand. And
and I think if you look at itfrom that perspective, I don't
get too tied I don't get too Idon't get too married to the
idea. I don't I don't have to,you know, fall on my sword to
defend any one of his ideas.
Sure. I can be open. I can be myown my own person. I can be my
(23:12):
own man, and I can emulate thosethings that I like about them.
That way if they, you know, theyfuck up and they become, you you
know, Jeffrey Epstein and
Danny (23:20):
you know?
You can you
Tyler (23:21):
can you know, you're not so married that you don't you
don't have to backpedal it.
Danny (23:24):
Well, and, man, like, yeah, like like false idols and
false biases. That's where Ithink, like, mentorship, really
need to be careful sometimesbecause sometimes there are men
that we work with or childrenthat you work with that you're
like, yeah, man. I can't I can'tI can't be my crazy self. I have
to be this version of myselfthat, like, of all the good
(23:48):
qualities. Yeah.
And I don't get to show youwhere I send you pictures of
somebody farting and somebodydoing things Yeah. That are
inappropriate because you youmay take that and run with it.
It's the fact that, like, oh,Danny does it, and now I've
given you this, this key to alock that you probably don't
wanna unlock. Yeah. Yeah.
(24:09):
You know?
Tyler (24:10):
Right. We we, yeah, we are we are creatures that learn
by example For sure. Way more. II think that's why I've always,
like, I could never get into themilitary myself. I really like,
when 911 happened, I reallywanted to join the military.
I I couldn't I couldn'tphysically do it because of,
(24:30):
because of my eyesight. Mhmm.But I've always loved that the
the marine corps officercandidate school has this this
saying, ductus exemplo. It'slead by example. Sure.
And and and to me, like, that isthe best version of a mentor,
somebody that can lead byexample. But then again, your
your idea of taking the piecesthat work for you and and,
(24:54):
polishing those.
Danny (24:55):
Polishing. Yeah. Like honing those and Yeah. Like,
taking off the little bits thatyou don't that you don't
resonate with, I think that'show you become, like, a really a
really, really good coach.Right.
Going back to wrestling, Ibelieve that's why I'm a great
coach at wrestling. Right. It'sbecause I watch, I hone, I keep
(25:16):
it simple. I I teach it so thateverybody can you could come in
tomorrow, and you could feellike you're a wrestler within 2
days. Yeah.
If I teach you, like, thesecrazy things that are on YouTube
and you watch these crazymatches of these kids that are
just high level kids right nowand you try those moves and you
fail, you're like, yeah. I'm notgonna do that. Yeah. Plus,
(25:37):
honestly, putting that singleton is so empowering Yeah. But
also so, like, man, there'snothing left to hide.
Tyler (25:48):
Yeah. Yeah. I remember my
Danny (25:49):
buddy and I, went to a climbing competition, and he's
like, you know what we shoulddo? We should put the singlets
on. And I was like, dude, okay.Yeah. We should.
Yeah. We should. Yeah. So I givehim a singlet. He's never wore a
singlet.
Never done anything. The firstthing he does, he goes, where do
you put it? And I'm like, oh,for one thing, when you're
(26:13):
you're a wrestler, you don'tcare about the outline. Yeah.
You're not thinking about itlike that.
But we're going to this climbingcompetition, and, of course, we
have outlines. And I was like,so what I'll what I do in this
environment, I put a I putsomething there in place, and he
goes, yeah, my wife said, no.No. I can see everything.
Tyler (26:34):
You don't wanna be that French pole vaulter.
Danny (26:37):
Yeah. And
so even those things, like, man, like, you're trying
to, like, teach these kids to beconfident in their bodies Yeah.
Confident in everything, but notbut and know that boys and men
just by the way that we arecreated are just
Tyler (26:57):
sometimes You're gonna get teased.
Danny (26:59):
And per we're perverted sometimes. You know, we don't
mean it. Right. We I I you know,there's things that I just I say
I do, and I'm just like, oop.Should've done that.
Tyler (27:08):
Yeah. Yeah.
Danny (27:09):
When we have when we do our Tyler and I have talked
about, doing a open mic nightfor a comedy. Mhmm. I have a bit
of of of a situation that I gotmyself into, and one of my bits
is about boys and wrestlingscenes and and and things that
happen. And, man, I I've I'vebeen practicing it, and and it's
(27:31):
it's a true story. Yeah.
And so it's like, I don't haveto I don't have to, like, make
it up. It's an actual truestory.
Tyler (27:36):
That's funny. You know? One of these episodes, we'll
have to perform
Danny (27:40):
our our one minute Yeah. Our one minute Kill the kill
Tony. Kill Tony. Yeah. Butmentorship goes so deep
sometimes that you don't evenknow when a kid is watching you
or when a person's watching you.
And I I I I think about that alot. Like, you don't know if
somebody's watching your actionsand maybe changes or or, like,
(28:05):
they get a different perspectiveof you that you're not, like,
really stoked on.
Yeah.
You know, and I think about that a lot. And so anytime
I'm mentoring anybody orcoaching, I always try to
remember that, like, you'renever gonna knock it out of the
park. Never. You're not gonnaknock it out of the park, but
you're gonna impact a lot ofpeople's lives. And I believe,
(28:26):
myself personally, I've beenlucky.
I've been lucky because so manypeople have come up to me and
been like, thank you so much forwhat you just said. Yeah. Thank
you so much for what you justsaid. Thank you for so much for
how you just worded that or whatyou what that that that meant a
lot to me, you know. And maybethey just they just what they
were thinking, maybe I maybe I Isolidified it or maybe I just
(28:49):
changed it a tiny bit so theycan be comfortable Right.
In their own thoughts. Right.
You know?
Tyler (28:53):
Yeah. I mean, I I I think that's exactly it. Right? When I
look back on my coachingexperience, we were I had a
scenario where we were in theplayoffs. You know, Wasatch High
School here in in in Heber, Utahdoes not have a storied lacrosse
program by any means.
Lacrosse in Utah in general isstill barely in its infancy,
(29:13):
although it's it's grown up nowthanks to to professional
programs. But, we made it to thethe furthest we ever made it in
the playoffs, and we wereplaying a very established
program down in the valley. AndI just remember being hyped and
trying to get these people hypedup. And I grabbed this kid by
the helmet, and I'm looking athim. He's one of my my seniors,
and I'm just, like, hitting myhead.
(29:34):
I split my head open way. Andit's blood bloody. And the
parents in the stand were like,did you just see what your
husband did to my son? This kidnow, the kid that I did it to,
an incredible human being. He'snow in the, the naval academy
playing playing, you know, theiron their football club and and
and just like one of thosepeople we just had that
(29:54):
relationship, though, but I canlook back on that relationship,
and did I leave the relationshipbetter?
Danny (29:58):
Sure. That to
Tyler (29:59):
me is a that that to me is a, a mentorship goal of mine.
And maybe that's why I don'twanna be this dad energy, the
stepdad energy. I wanna be maincharacter energy. I wanna be
leaving the relationship betterthan when I found it.
Danny (30:13):
I understand. And maybe, like, maybe maybe that's a good
way to look at if you do end upwith a relationship with with a
woman with children is that youcan impact their lives just in a
different in a different maincharacter Right. Energy, and
maybe that's where you'relearning. Yeah. Maybe that's the
part that you're learning rightnow.
Yeah. You know, I I've I've beena part of 2 really, really good
(30:38):
wrestling programs Yeah.Luckily. I started with Layton.
Mhmm.
Layton is now currently number 1in the state. They're number 1
in the state, and I was a partof that program, and and I I
believe that, like, some of thevalues and some of the core
things that the coach and I,instilled, they're still working
on today. And then, of course, Iwas a part of Wasatch, which is
(31:00):
a storied Yeah. Which is astoried. I mean, like, it it it
is a very storied program inUtah and in the the national
rankings, you know.
And I was lucky. I was lucky tobe a part of them. I was lucky
to have good people around me,good wrestlers around me. Yeah.
I'm currently, getting ready tobecome part of Park City
(31:24):
wrestling program at Park CityHigh School.
And they have 0 support, 0community support, and this is
gonna be such a big learningcurve for me and it's gonna test
me on every aspect of my life,you know. Mhmm. Because I've,
I've been lucky so far. And I'mgonna be building it from pretty
(31:44):
much the ground up in and andimproving on and hopefully,
giving more to what Tristan didlast year, which was just
getting the kids out there,keeping them out there. He did
such a good job with them at 20years old.
19 he's 19 years old, has thesekids out there trusting him as a
(32:06):
19 year old, you know, and Ithink maybe I pat maybe he gets
that from me. Maybe he gets thatthat ability to talk to resonate
with these children. And I'malways like, man, remember,
like, don't don't get caught upin the fact that you're 19 so
you can be a dumbass and Yeah.Teach them dumbass isms. Yeah.
You know? Dumbass isms. Butwe'll see. I mean, it's it's
(32:28):
it's exciting. It's it's it'sexciting, and and hopefully, we
can get the program coming up.
And it'll test my mentorship andmy coaching Sure. Ability to to
the umpteenth because, like,it's not a year. It's not like
you're you're you're dedicating1 year. You're dedicating your
life several needs several. 5 to10 years of
Tyler (32:46):
So would you rather be a part of a storied program or a a
a building program?
Danny (32:51):
I thought about this yesterday. I I I kinda had a,
like, a little bit of anepiphany, that I would I love
the fact that I have thisconcrete foundation of these 2
Yeah. Foundations that I canbuild potentially. Like, man, I
was thinking, like, gosh, itwould be awesome to have, you
(33:11):
know, a a team that does reallywell at stake. Right.
Right. You know, makes it in thetop 5. And and they're like
Tristan, Danny, Kurt, Larry,Meg, they did that. Yeah. And
they did it from ground.
And I
think that will be kinda cool with the, main character
energy. Yeah. Right? And thatstepdad energy that we were
(33:34):
talking about. Part of that withme also is I've I've I know for
a fact that I I couldn't do iteither.
Yeah. Not that I wouldn't. Youknow, I I mean, I'm not in that
situation. Right? So, it'sreally hard for me to understand
(33:54):
or resonate with that ideabecause, I know personally,
like, I I would struggle withthe other person.
Yeah. You know, the other theother side of that. Yeah.
Because you don't wanna step ontoes. Right?
But if the person's not teachingthe children the right the right
life skills, when do you stepin? When do you say enough is
(34:17):
enough? I gotta take I gottathrow you these things. Yeah.
Tyler (34:20):
Yeah. And it's it is very interesting. Right? You go back
to that Jordan Peterson quoteabout, like, when your child
does something, you've gottacorrect them.
Danny (34:28):
Yeah.
Tyler (34:29):
Because you are going to correct them in a more gentle
way than probably the the worldwill. For sure. And I think that
that's true, but, I mean, Ithink that that's part of, like,
we're in this dynamic as a as afamily. I'm not necessarily your
dad. Sure.
I'm not going I'm not here toreplace your dad. Your dad is
still going to be an example inyour life. He's still going to
(34:49):
teach you things whether you'reaware of what he's teaching you
or not. He's still teaching youthings, but I'm also going to be
in that life. Just don't call mea stepdad.
Danny (34:56):
Yeah. Right? You know what I mean? How did that, so so
going back to you were on a dateMhmm. And you're telling this,
your your date that, what waswhat was her response?
Tyler (35:09):
I she got really, like, really wide eyed, like, like,
really wide eyed. And then,again, it has nothing to do with
me not wanting kids or notwanting additional kids or not
wanting to grow my family. But,you know, at my age, my kids are
my kids are grown.
Danny (35:23):
Sure.
Tyler (35:24):
Yeah. Do you really think that, like, I'm gonna meet a new
woman and my oldest who's 18years old is going to accept her
as as a mother figure. Sure. I Imean, I don't know. I don't
know.
I think that, like, she'llprobably be able to teach my
daughter some things and andprovide my daughter with some
critical life experience. But Ithink it's on my daughter to,
(35:46):
like, really determine what roleis this person going to have in
my life. Right. As somebody whosat on the sideline and watched
my kids kind of, you know, havea a bonus parent per se, like, I
don't get the impression thatthey care too much. Sure.
And it could just be that thenature of that relationship
isn't very evolved yet, but, youyou know what I mean? Like, if
(36:11):
they don't respect the personthat I'm with, I'm not gonna be
with that person. Right. That's
Danny (36:17):
a that's a that's a that's an interesting stand
because I don't know ifeverybody would have that same
stand. Right?
Tyler (36:23):
No. No. No.
Danny (36:23):
I think it's unique
Tyler (36:24):
to me, and I'm I wouldn't I wouldn't suggest it for
anyone. I think everybody'sunique and you have to
determine, like, ultimately, myrelationship is up to me. Sure.
Right? I agree.
But my I I do have younger kids.Like, I have, you know, a 12
year old at home. I have a 16year old at home. And I
certainly would expect that thatwhoever I partner with is is
(36:45):
participating in in thatupbringing. And and and that's
by live being a living exampleof what it's like to live in
this world.
Relationship dynamics are weird.
Danny (36:53):
In the studio. That's 842, April 4th, and the podcast
comes out, and sometimes youhave
Speaker 4 (36:59):
to reset up and shoot an outro. So, Danny, thank you
Yeah. For swinging by on yourway home. Yeah. It's it's been
crazy with testing our newequipment and and the learning
curve behind the wheel.
Danny (37:12):
Yeah. I'm super grateful for you to to keep working
within our audience to to bepatient with us because we we're
trying to figure out ways to usethe this to be wireless in other
places because we have so manypeople that are willing to come
on the podcast with us. Yeah.And, we record that and we watch
(37:33):
ourselves. It's hard to putyourself back in the
conversation.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Itis.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
It's a it's really difficult to put yourself back
in the conversation and superjust grateful for
Danny (37:43):
for all that
Speaker 4 (37:43):
all that you said. And, like, again, I think it
opens up where we wanna take thepodcast. Like, why did we start
it? I'd love to, you know, getout on the nuts a little bit and
get out to the Red Seatournaments and get out in the
community Yeah. And take thepodcast out of the studio.
I love the studio, you know,when we when it's you and I just
having a session, and we gotspace down here to have a guest.
(38:04):
But, I think, again, like,getting the bus out there, it's
gonna look so great in 4 k.
Danny (38:10):
I hope you guys are appreciated in the 4 k. Yep.
Thanks for being patient withit. Not at all. The the the
podcast, as we were going onabout mentorship and and how to
take that up and and how to beinvolved as a mentor is so
important to to me.
It's such a good part of mylife. And I can't, thank the
(38:34):
people that have allowed me tobe a mentor in their life
enough. Like, I I really amgrateful for it because it's
such a big part of my life. Andwhen you those people around
your children, especially whereyou are, like, like, we were
talking about main characterenergy and, like Yeah. You know,
stepdad or or step parentenergy.
You know? And we wanna be ableto have a cohesive, vision for
(38:57):
each Yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
Of your children. Exactly. It's so interesting as
I've gone back to school andstarted some of my first course
work. I'm like, they're they'reemphasizing the structure of
systems, and we look at thesesystems. Right?
What systems are you putting inplace? Like, we put in place
systems to our daily routine, toour jujitsu routine. But, like,
when we expand that, we actuallyhave a family system. Right? And
(39:19):
we have an open family systemwhere we allow information in,
and we have a closed familysystem that that doesn't allow a
lot of information, wherethere's one person.
And so I think it can be meant,like, I started this because I
felt like I needed it, and Ididn't know where to get it. And
I just feel like I didn'tresonate with a lot of the other
voices that were out there. Andso with this, the cool economy
(39:42):
we're in, the social micro microspace economy, we can really
develop content that's uniquefor our particular voice. So,
yeah, hopefully, that resonateswith people. Yeah.
And
Danny (39:53):
they'll be a little cut from when we were talking to the
best to right now. Yeah. Thatthe the overall, their job
message is the same. Yeah.Right?
We have the same message that wehave. We're learning as we grow.
We had such a crazy night lastnight. Oh. I'm so tired today.
Oh, god. It's brutal. Just thefact that we have the academy as
(40:17):
our own to ship and as our ownplace to experiment is is what I
would like for other people, butalso to be that, like, space for
them and Yeah. That space for,as as you grow to have people in
your life of of mentorship.Yeah.
And it was like took those thoseare my rest not my days to
(40:39):
recover. You know? Yes. But butI was still excited today of,
like, being like, let's go. I Ilike to I like I wanna keep
going.
I wanna keep going. I wanna keepgoing. I wanna keep encouraging
and keep putting my name outthere and putting myself out
there to to get better. I havenot sauna ed in a little bit,
(41:02):
and man, I was dying for a saunato go. You know?
Yeah. And, I was like, I justthink it was about a like, oh,
when the sauna's so bad, that itit provides that space of, like,
getting your mind right.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
It did so does. And I was lucky enough to hit the
sauna a few weeks ago eventhough it kinda down on me.
Danny (41:21):
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
But, I'm with you. Like, you forget the clarity
that that brings, and and thisis another this is another
aspect of it, but you ruinedthat whole system. You ruined
that system. All of it. Yeah.
Because the sauna does it justprovides something so unique.
Yeah. Yeah. But it said, like,let's wrap it up then. Get get
get back to bed.
Like, man, last night was sobrutal. It was, like, I thought
(41:42):
I I donned me
Danny (41:43):
a broken arm last night. It was crazy how how much energy
was flowing in the academy and,like, how, people brought the
energy. Yeah. And you could tellthere's a different training
environment last night. Youknow?
I got that's on the mat. ThatYeah. That says something about
what Mike has done Oh, yeah. Inhis in in his in his what he's
(42:06):
done and the little talk that hegave prior to open mat, I think,
kind of, like, got people in themood Yeah. For training, and
teaching and being a mentor andand, like, and having that part
of your journey.
I think that is a part of men'sjourney is to teach, you know,
to to to inspire, to to be avoice of, like, this is the path
(42:27):
and Yeah. Come follow me and Ican help you, and I'll give you
advice and guidance, but it'sjust advice and guidance.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Yeah. It's cool. I'm really disappointed about last
night that he taught some reallycool stuff, and I didn't have a
single opportunity to use. Butit's like it's pollution I
guess. I find myself gettingstuck in quite a bit.
Danny (42:44):
Oh, yeah. That yeah. That was cool. I that's the first
time I've seen those thosethings that he showed. Yeah.
When I got there, those thosethings that he's shown. I've
never seen them before. Like,that was in that was probably
I'm sure. Put that down. Like,wow.
That was kinda cool. Yeah. Butappreciate the fact that, like,
we're doing this. I appreciateyou taking the time, to to put
(43:06):
yourself in this brand newspace. Yeah.
So I see episodes of, learninglessons, I'm sure, for you.
Yeah. And, you know, I'm sonontechnical that I'm like, hey,
man. I'm supportive. I've beenyour support system.
You know? Like, it's I wastalking to you, and I was like,
man, that's that was such atechnical conversation. I was
(43:26):
like, I gotta go early. Yeah.Hopefully, we can see it, but,
like, we're slowly working atthe the the you
Speaker 4 (43:32):
know, you see the statement behind us here. We've
got wired equipment. Wiredequipment, we've got dialed.
Like, it's just such a goodsound. Yeah.
That same sound on our wirelessequipment so we can be we can be
mobile and and get out toevents. And, like, I got my
confirmation for summer camp, soI'd love to do an episode out at
summer camp. Like, that's thekind of stuff that, I'm I'm
(43:56):
looking forward to. I do.
Danny (43:58):
I hope we're gonna have second to go out of the episode
to kinda work out the last ofthe bugs and then, into guests
after guest after guest afterguest. I think that I'm gonna go
ahead and try to line them up,so that we have a guest on each
episode coming up. Yeah. And so,man, I appreciate Park City
Wrestling. They allowed me tobecome an assistant coach.
(44:21):
I've got that coming up. Thatwas an announcement. That was a
big announcement. Oh, cool. Comeon.
I can't remember if you typedabout it in the beginning of the
episode, but just so we'reclear, man. Like, I'm excited,
to to to come the coaching roleYeah. Of wrestling, but I really
love wrestling. Yeah. And I'vehad I've had the confirmation
that I was like, so just I'msure I got a job.
Cool. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
Just training, you know, trying to ease myself back
into school. We're getting inNovember. Right? Like, Scooby
thinks Scooby before we know it.It's gonna be the holidays
before we know it.
Danny (44:55):
And then flew by. Right? Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
I mean, this whole world has been, like, a blur.
Yeah. Like, it feels like justyesterday was January. Yeah.
Like, it I don't even know wherethe time goes.
So just hitting that school,work, not the rink. Kids. Yeah.
Nothing. Right now, just, yeah,just those things.
Good. Just laying thefoundation. Yeah. Alright.
(45:17):
That's a good one.
Danny (45:17):
Yeah. So that so that nothing topples. Yeah. Yeah.
Yep.
Exactly right. Good. Exactlyright. Shout out to maintenance.
If you, If
Speaker 4 (45:25):
you haven't heard, we partnered with them as
ambassadors. Their mission ofhigh quality jujitsu gear for
kind
Danny (45:34):
of looking at you into stress on the back. It aligns so
perfectly with what we do here,what we talk about
Speaker 4 (45:40):
on the podcast. Check out their their website. They
just launched a new website.Looks pretty stinking good. You
can, watch Boy Scouts for a 15%off, and they hook us up with a
little bit to get cool newequipment, and, their their
stuff looks good.
Looking for sponsorships,looking for, collectible agents.
Danny (46:01):
Yep. Looking for just ideas, great things. Even if
it's like, hey. Do this withyour audio. Help you this.
I I prefer you to be Yeah. Iknow. I really look. Yeah. I I
and so grateful for the last 2episodes for those of you that
have been able to power throughit.
It was I listened to the lastone. It was great. I'm sure this
(46:21):
was gonna be great as well.
Speaker 4 (46:22):
Yeah. Yeah. We'll get the audio sorted and yeah. Just
appreciate you guys. Until nexttime, you know, we'll see you in
the months.
Welcome back to the Lost Boy Scouts podcast.
Danny (00:10):
We got
Tyler (00:10):
hopefully, we got it right this time.
Danny (00:11):
Yeah. Hopefully. Jeremy called me, and and I don't know
if you've seen his message, buthe was like, hey. You know that
the first 15 minutes is, like,really scratchy and all that?
And I was like and then 2seconds later, he said, oh, that
must have been what you weretalking about at the beginning
of the podcast.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's it's like alearning experience.
Tyler (00:30):
Right? It really is. I mean, I like to think myself as
technical, but there's there'sdifferent types of technical.
Right? There's all this audio,this video, this stuff that I'm
learning, like, stuff that I'vealways I've always loved cameras
and this kind of stuff.
But,
Danny (00:43):
man What a crazy, Yeah. Yeah. We're, back out in the
mountains of Utah. Same spot.Things have changed a little
bit.
Like, some of the leaves havefallen off. It snowed for the
first time for the year. Iwasn't stoked on it. I Yeah.
Yeah.
I had to drive in it today, andI was like, everybody at work
(01:05):
was like, do you have shoes on?And I I never wear shoes. I
always wear flip flops orsandals. But it's part of, like,
what we live in and I the beautyof our 4 seasons. Right?
Yeah. The ability to have 4seasons. I'm not a cold weather
person. So Yeah.
Tyler (01:24):
I'm bundled up. I like to see myself as a polar bear,
although, man, this year hasgone by so fast, it feels like.
How fast is October gone?
Danny (01:33):
Yeah. It's insane. It's almost halfway over. Yeah. I
wonder if it's just that we'vebeen busy and, like, life just
goes life life just doesn't slowdown.
Right? It's it's one of
Tyler (01:43):
those things that for me, particularly, it's like a hard
it's hard. It's hard to it'shard to handle the the rapid
change. Like, I want to be soproductive.
Danny (01:52):
Yeah.
Tyler (01:52):
Again, my perfectionism, like, really Gets the
Danny (01:54):
best of me.
Tyler (01:55):
Gets the best of me. I'm like, I see that the time is,
like, really speeding by, but atthe same time, like, I have to
hit the brakes and say, okay.Same as my jujitsu. Right? Like,
I don't see the progress that Ihave in my outside life, but,
you know, my kids do.
We've we've we've moved. We'vewe've established a new
Danny (02:12):
Yeah. Life has moved on.
Tyler (02:13):
Yeah. Life has moved on.
Danny (02:15):
And And you've grown and gotten better, and and some
things stay the same and somethings don't. Right?
Tyler (02:19):
Yeah. And the things that I really don't want like, the
things that I'm really, like,pushing myself to do and to to
be different, if they haven'tgotten
Danny (02:26):
to where I want them to be, then
Tyler (02:27):
I get really hard on myself for sure.
Danny (02:28):
Yeah. Yeah. Same same. I'm the same way. I I, I tend to
like I talked about, I I tend toresonate.
I tend to look at what's gonnago on in the future. Like,
what's the next year hold?What's the next 4 months hold?
And then when I listen to my mymorning meditation music, it's
always, like, stop doing that.
Tyler (02:49):
Yeah.
Danny (02:49):
Don't go in the
past because that's where their wounds are at. Right. And
don't go in the future becausethat's where, like, expectation
and that we talked about lastweek, expectation bias happens.
Because if you don't if youdon't accomplish those, you
know, what you what you thinkyou should, then you feel like
it's a failure. Even in allreality, life's life's not a
failure because you just maybelose sometimes, but it's a
(03:11):
lesson learned.
Right? Yeah. And that's alwayswhat I tell myself in the
morning. Like, stay in themoment. Stay in the moment,
Danny.
Stay in the moment. Don't don'tmove on. And definitely don't
look back
Tyler (03:23):
Yeah.
Danny (03:23):
At at what what could have been, what should have
been, or what I want. Yeah.Because you'll always you'll
never accomplish what you thinkyou should have accomplished.
Tyler (03:33):
I I totally agree. I think, obviously, there's some
beauty in sitting and resonatingand finding resolution in in
those wounds and, like,understanding the triggers and
where they where they might showup in the future. Right? Where
in the where my wounded pastmight I revert to if I don't
understand it. Right?
Like, I have to I have to buildsome resonance and understanding
(03:54):
into how is that past woundshowing up in my present. Right.
And that's and then then that'sfor me. Right? Like, that's
where this perfectionism I'msetting this expectation just
like you we we talked about lastweek.
You know? Gotta get out
Danny (04:06):
of those glory days. Yeah. The glory days are well
and, like, you know, there'sthere's chapters of your life
where, like, you can rememberback, and you're like, man, that
was such a fun chapter of mylife. Then there's other
chapters of your life whereyou're like, man, that was I'm
glad I made it out of there alot. Yeah.
Yeah.
Tyler (04:24):
You
Danny (04:24):
know? And and, like, I'm glad that, like, things I'm here
today. Right. You know? There'sdefinitely been times in my life
where I'm like, man, there's agood chance I didn't I wouldn't
have made it out of that thatchapter had I not had resilience
Yes.
And and the people around me,the people that surround Yeah.
(04:45):
That that gave me passes. Right?
Tyler (04:47):
Yeah.
Danny (04:48):
And, the glory days, it's so funny when, you know, you see
those guys that are stuck in theglory days, you know, and
they're like
you're like, you're not the
high school quarterback anymore, dude.
Tyler (04:58):
I I feel like with the van setup, we should have that
Napoleon Dynamite football. Doyou remember that scene?
Danny (05:02):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler (05:03):
Back in the morning high school, I could throw a pigskin
over them hills.
Danny (05:05):
Over them hills.
Tyler (05:06):
Over them hills. Yeah. And they're right here, man.
It's just so gorgeous out heretoday. Oh, man.
Danny (05:10):
Today today was, yeah, today is, today has been great.
I had to work, you know, I workovertime Yeah. On Fridays, and
it was actually not that bad ofa day. Plus I knew we were gonna
come out, or we were gonna gettogether in podcast. Yeah.
It was a good week because weactually trained a bunch
together
Yeah. Yeah.
This week, which, for me, is always fun seeing my friends,
(05:32):
at the academy and and seeingthe seeing from my perspective
the way the academy is goingand, like Yeah. Tuesday, night
was kind of, like, rough, like,bunch of bunch of really hard
training. And then Wednesdaynight was just so quiet. Yeah.
But it was really hard training.
It was. It was So quiet. It waslike, professor talks about, you
(05:55):
know, when it's a good academywhen you walk in, all yours,
shh. Yeah. No talking.
No no grunting. No crazy noises.Just quiet. Everybody's
breathing quiet, and that's howWednesday was. It was, like,
really cool, but high leveltraining.
You know? Really high leveltraining. So it was fun.
Tyler (06:13):
Music a trend in the gym the last few weeks. Like, we've
not been very active with, like,the bottom half of the body, a
lot of foot locks, a lot ofankle locks. It feels like in
the last few weeks sinceprofessors started teaching the,
the leg leg entanglements that,like, those are popping up more
and more.
Danny (06:32):
Yeah. Me
Tyler (06:32):
and I I blame myself too because I'm there's some
positions I'm trying to work on,trying to get and
Danny (06:36):
Well, just opens up so much more of the body. It opens
up and and opens up so much moreof, like, it's like a whole
another book inside of the book.Right? And now you're like, if
you're not careful, you'll godown that book and you'll forget
about everything else. Right?
Right. And I think that's thethe benefits of like that.
(06:57):
That's why it's, like, so trueto me to life. Yeah. Wrestling
is such a big part of my life.
Yeah. It's a really big part ofmy life, and and, you know, I
got some news about, mywrestling journey and how
wrestling's gonna continue on inmy life. But, you know,
wrestling always has, like,happiness. There's always Yeah.
(07:19):
It's it's a grind.
It sucks. But there's always,like, you always, like, see
results. Yeah. Right? Andthere's always a shelf life.
In jujitsu, there's always,like, happiness, but there's
never, like, that, oh, I got itYeah. Moment. Yeah. It's always,
like, oh, fuck. There's so muchmore.
Right. There's so much more toit. Right. And I think that's
(07:43):
how life is. Is is you go, man,I'm happy.
Man, I'm stoked, but holy shit.I have nothing figured out.
Yeah. Yeah. Your kids presentsomething new to you, and you're
like, well, this is the firsttime I'm dealing with this.
Yeah. Let's let's go down thispath. Yeah.
Tyler (07:57):
Yeah. Yeah. And that's good for you, I think. I think
that that that's a marker ofgrowth. I watched, I watched
Foxcatcher Oh.
For the first time because Iheard I heard you guys talking
about it. Didn't realize, like,the to the area, the connection
that Schultz the Schultz has hadboth with BYU and, just in the
in living in the area.Interestingly enough, my I have
(08:19):
an uncle who who wrestled forthe BYU I haven't read them yet.
Wrestling team probably maybenear the tail end of that time.
Okay.
Because, like, what, Foxcatcher,like, his the murder actually
happened in 2006 I
Danny (08:31):
think so.
Tyler (08:32):
From what I understand. So it would have been right
around that time. Perhapsthere's some I'm about to do
some research and see if therewas any paths that crossed. But,
man, what an incrediblediscipline those brothers had.
Danny (08:45):
You know, I don't you know my story. Like, I didn't I
knew about collegiate wrestling.I knew about wrestling, but I
didn't really start payingattention to it until until
right about 2010, maybe 2009,right around that area. Mhmm. So
and it all happened becauseBraxton, my oldest son, joined
(09:08):
the wrestling team.
And once that happened, then mylife immersed into wrestling.
Right? And so I know about Daveand Mark Schultz. I've trained
with people that have trainedwith Mark, and and their
upbringing and the way that theyapproached wrestling was is was
fanatical. Right?
(09:28):
But, also, they were known forbeing so mean. Oh, really? So
mean to you. Yeah. Like, mean toyou.
Like, if you if you werewrestling them, you knew that
that you better protect yourarms and you better protect
everything because they weregonna try to rip it off. Wow.
You know? And but then I heardI've heard stories about Dave,
just how nice and kind and, likeYeah. Just a beautiful soul he
(09:50):
was, you know, and loved hisbrother so much.
And that whole thing, the waythat it played out is a is a
bummer. If you haven't seenFoxcatcher, if you haven't seen
the story, I mean, it's it'spretty crazy the way that it the
way that it turned out becauseDave Schultz was he was the guy
for Yeah. USA wrestling. Yeah.He was the guy.
He still to this day, like,people talk about him, and he's
a legend of the sport and thenended up getting murdered.
Tyler (10:11):
Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because you the the
gentleman, John du Pont. Yeah.Like, one, it's an incredible
movie.
It came out in
Speaker 4 (10:21):
2016. Yeah. Probably.
Tyler (10:22):
I think last night because I I watched I finished
it last night, and then I, ofcourse, you know, got on the
Internet. And, like, I'm tryingto understand, like, okay. What
happened? Like, I didn't realizethat the the movie is actually
kind of a, has that I didn'tknow that the murder was
associated. I thought it's a Ijust thought it was a movie
about wrestling.
Right. And I heard some guys atthe academy talking about it,
(10:43):
and, I was like, man, I shouldprobably go watch that, you
know, b team jiu jitsu has theirfox catcher Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You know
Danny (10:49):
Yeah.
Tyler (10:50):
Series that they do too. So it's like, I what is this
about? What do I need to, likeand so yeah. But the the dude
came from incredible means, andyou watch it, and the way the
the movie portrays him is that,like, he's kind of a kind of a
total poser. Kind of just usesmoney Yeah.
To to like, he wanted to be thisperson. He was trying to fake it
(11:13):
through money. Like, and he wasreally trying
Danny (11:15):
to fake He thought he could.
Tyler (11:16):
Status and prestige through through money.
Danny (11:18):
For sure.
Tyler (11:19):
And, unfortunately, like, we do that. We put people on the
pedestal be because
Danny (11:25):
they have money. Yeah. Money definitely can, can gloss
over or or hide a lot of things.Right. Right?
And you you can't fake verylong, if you haven't put in the
(11:45):
work. Right. If you haven't putin the work, you can fake it,
but you but eventually, peoplewill see through that cloth or
see through that sheet. Right.Right?
And especially in a combatsport. Right. Right? You can put
yourself out there and
Tyler (11:55):
do There's that scene where his mom comes into the gym
on the the the she's wheeledinto the on the wheelchair, and
there's a bunch of spoilershere. Sorry. If you haven't
watched it, I don't feel too badfor you because it's it's an old
movie, but he John DuPont, like,starts talking about like, he's
he's he's trying to prove to hismom that like, you can totally
(12:15):
see he's trying to prove to hismom that he's, like, leading
this group of men.
Danny (12:19):
Yeah.
Tyler (12:19):
And that he and he teaches, like, a basic arm drag
and, like, a basic Yeah. Likeposition. Right. And and at the
end, Dave kinda gets up and he'slike, alright, let's, let's work
on arm tracks.
Danny (12:30):
Like Yeah. Like, yeah.
Tyler (12:31):
This level of wrestling that these guys are at are so
far beyond Working on that. Thatthat but that's what he could
offer. Right? He what he wastrying to prove to his mom and,
like, that's there's a man whojust does not have did not have
resonance with his past. I mean,and it shows in, like, when they
went to trial and he had the,you know, basically where they
say he was he had a mentalbreakdown for that,
Danny (12:52):
and that's why he, you know, like, we've kinda talked
about impostor syndrome Yeah.Before. Right? And impostor
syndrome, like, in that in thatmoment of, like, thinking that
you know Right. More than whatyou actually know is is is so
prevalent sometimes
Right.
(13:13):
In your life. Right? You're like Yeah. You see
something, you're like, that guyhas no idea what he's talking
about. Yeah.
But he's able to he's able totrick a couple people or money
talks. Yeah. And now you haveto, pretend like you know
because this dude is paying yourpaycheck. Right? You're like,
oh, yeah.
Okay.
Tyler (13:32):
Where he does the the wrestling Yeah. Tournament. It's
got his name on the tournament.Yeah. You see him slide the cash
to the guy that kinda takes thedive.
You're just like, shit. Like, Ican't
Danny (13:41):
feel good. I know. It's gotta
Tyler (13:43):
be so bad for you to be surrounded by people like Yes,
man. Yes, man. Yeah. Like,surrounded by people that are
just yes, man.
Danny (13:50):
Have you ever been in an environment like that?
Tyler (13:52):
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Where you've had
Danny (13:53):
to be the play that part and also be on the other end?
Tyler (13:56):
I think when we when we act from a place of insecurity,
when we act from from our ourpseudo self Sure. We be we are
the yes men. Absolutely. I was ayes man up until, you know, and
I do still find myself seeing,like, me go into that peep they
call people pleasing. Right?
People pleasing. Dan Glover, theno more mister nice guy, his
book is all about we do thisbecause we want to be accepted.
(14:19):
He wanted to be accepted in thiscommunity. It did not matter
that John was, like, aornologist or amazing bird
watcher. He's a very published,but, like, maybe that's how his
whole life was that he justspent his way into becoming
these things, and he neverreally authentically had it.
I don't know. Sure. And I don'twanna necessarily speak ill of
the dead anymore, but, like, hedidn't need to he didn't need to
(14:41):
be. He could've just been themoney, and the money could've
been enough
Danny (14:44):
to make this incredible program. Right. I fall into when
when I first started coachingwrestling because I actually
never wrestled. Never had auntil I was an adult, never had
a wrestling match. I I didwrestle in veterans nationals
like I talked about only so thatI could so that I could
understand the experience, butit was it's not like being a kid
(15:05):
wrestling.
Right. You know, being a kidwrestling in junior high, high
school, and then subsequentlycollege if you decide to do
that, I I see it. I see thepressures. I see the I see how
it changes, you and how me,personally, like, I came into it
thinking that, I was just gonnahelp. And then now that I'm
(15:28):
coaching, I'm like, how can Iteach these things?
How can I how can I resonate oror or even associate with these
young men and young women whenI've never done what they've
done? Right. Like, I've neverI've never been in that position
as a as a child where yourparents and your family and your
team and your school are lookingat you as this wrestler who's
(15:50):
who has this weight of this, youknow, this weight of what your
expectations are. And thatimpostor syndrome, it it it
would get the best of mesometimes. Yeah.
Yeah. And I would, I would shyback because I didn't wanna be
seen as somebody that would be,like, telling you how to do
something when you've actuallydone it Yeah. 10000 times when
(16:13):
I've never done it once. Yeah.Right?
And and that that to me was,like, god, it was such a big
learning experience for me. Itwas such a big learning
experience for me.
Tyler (16:22):
I've definitely had that same same experience in
lacrosse. Right? Lacrosse for megrowing up, I I I played through
high school. Post high school, Iplayed, you know, on some some
collegiate level club teams.Nothing ever really associated
with too many too many colleges.
But at the at the time, when Iwas in high school, college
lacrosse, division 1 lacrossewas as as far
Danny (16:42):
as you could take it. Right.
Tyler (16:43):
And so if you had if you were if you were connected to
coaching at that level, you youhad more credibility. Right?
Sure. You were seen as morecredible. So how do you how do
you stay connected with thesupport that you love, that you
enjoy when you don't necessarilyhave the credibility?
I think some of it comes fromkilling your idols a little bit.
Sure. Right? You know, they maybe good at at one thing, but
(17:07):
what what can you bring? Right.
What can you bring? You canbring an incredible perspective
on what it means to be to endureSure. To to work in a combat
sport, to be in the cage, to toto to mental aspect of it rather
than just being like, oh, yes.I'm this, you know, big swinging
dick on the wrestling mat or onthe lacrosse field. Like, that's
(17:28):
when our ego is spun out ofcontrol.
Sure. We don't we don't I don'thave anything to prove on
lacrosse to anyone in thisvalley.
Danny (17:34):
It's take
Tyler (17:35):
it taken me a long time to to to get there. Right? Like,
it's taken me a long time to eatand and a lot of humble pie and
eating crow to to say, you know,it doesn't matter. I I had to,
you know again, when I was inthose scenarios where I was
pretending to be something thatI wasn't, I was really acting
from a place of pseudo self.Pseudo self.
Danny (17:57):
Because my parents got divorced at such a such a young
age, you know, my mom my mom hada long term relationship with a
man. Mhmm. And and he's not withus anymore. He was great. He was
great.
He he was he he was a goodperson, but it's funny because,
like, even though I didn't havea good relationship with my dad
(18:19):
Mhmm. He's my dad. Right. I knowwho my dad is. I never have to
question
who my dad is,
you know? My dad is is big Danny O'Conia
Yeah.
And I never looked to another man. I never looked to
my mom's long term partner as afather. Yeah. Never. He had he
he had some good qualities forhim that that maybe, like, those
(18:42):
I was like, you know, he's agood dude, but, I knew who my
dad was.
Yeah. I never questioned
Speaker 4 (18:47):
See? Never questioned.
Tyler (18:48):
And and I was the same way. Like, my mom was never in a
relationship. Never. Never.Still to this day.
And I think that, like,hopefully, she finds that for
herself, but my dad was in somany. Other than one, like, I
didn't really see them as asimpacting my life. They weren't
they weren't players in my lifeSure. At 17, 18 years old. Yeah.
Right? They weren't they weren'tplayers. They I honestly, I
(19:09):
respect them because I'm a goodhuman and I respect other
people, but they weren't, like,I they weren't there to parent
me or mother me or to to teachme anything. My mom was always
my mom. My dad was always mydad.
Although there is I'm I'm what'scoming to mind is the gentleman,
I don't think they trainanymore. He was the federal
agent. Oh, yeah. And he used tobring his children in it. And it
(19:30):
was I probably had been trainingfor 9 months before I found out
that, like, those weren't hiskids.
Right. Those weren't his kids.He just was training to make
himself better, but he wasbringing in these kids that were
obviously a little a littleundiscoordinated, and and and he
was treating them like they werehis kids. Right? And I I mean, I
think He's such a good dude.
(19:50):
Right?
Danny (19:50):
Oh, he's such a good dude. And I think he and and
and, like, man, talk about,like, being around people just
in our in our in our in ourtopic tonight of mentorship.
Yeah. His kid, like you said,like, those kids that came in
with him, they were great. Yeah.
They were great kids. They're sogreat. But him, his job is one
(20:11):
of those ones with the FBI thatyou just hate Yeah. The fact
that that there's that he has todo it. But he he does a great
job at it.
It's a very unique skill setthat he does. And every time I
talk to him, every time I seehim, I'm always like, man, thank
you so much for protecting andkeeping us safe because it's a
unique it's a unique thing. Andso even, like, a little tiny
(20:33):
relationship like that is amentorship that you take
something from. Right. Right?
And and and as men, we have towe have to find little bits and
pieces that we like of peopleMhmm. That we're like, okay. I
like that, and I'm gonna growthat about myself. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm gonna be that way,Especially because having no
father in my life, I had to, Ihad to learn things the hard way
(20:59):
sometimes when raising my boys.Yeah. When we found wrestling,
it was a lifesaver for me Yeah.Because it allowed me so much
time with my boys, so much time.My boys and I spent so much time
together.
Sometimes not you know,sometimes they probably, they
don't have the fondest memoriesof of some of those things.
(21:20):
But I but but at the end of
the day, like, I had fond memories of the fact that, like,
I was able to find that thatcommunity, and it taught me so
much. Then next thing, boom, jiujitsu. Yeah. And now I have this
great community around myself.Yeah.
My friendships, as a man are sogreat, and I feel like it's it's
(21:43):
it's what, like, my purpose is.Right? And mentorship is a big
part of my life. It's a big partof my life, and I think, like,
I've been lucky. I've I've gotgreat people around me, and I've
met men that I'm like, man, Ireally like that guy about I
like that quality about Yeah.
Yeah. I'm gonna try to be likethat.
Tyler (21:59):
And and maybe that's the true point of mentorship is that
we don't put these people on toomuch of a pedestal. We don't
want them to become too elevatedwhere they become idolized.
Again, watch out for that. Andand perhaps this is my own
twisted past coming out of ahigh demand religion. Right?
And we, like, we put certainpeople on a pedestal and we
wanna emulate this person and,like, even in modern
(22:20):
Christianity, it's like, I wannabe like Jesus. And, like, yes.
As an allegory, I love theconcept of Jesus who was this
person that was, like, ultraforgiving, loving, like you know
what I mean? Those are he heexhibited some qualities that I
really that I really loved. Do Iwant to be like that?
Absolutely. Do I need to put himon a pedestal and worship him? I
(22:43):
don't know. I I don't knowbecause I don't know, like,
really, I don't know if thestory was actually true.
Danny (22:50):
Sure.
Tyler (22:50):
I I I think that, like, it for me, it makes a great
allegory. It makes a great agreat story. I understand. And
and I think if you look at itfrom that perspective, I don't
get too tied I don't get too Idon't get too married to the
idea. I don't I don't have to,you know, fall on my sword to
defend any one of his ideas.
Sure. I can be open. I can be myown my own person. I can be my
(23:12):
own man, and I can emulate thosethings that I like about them.
That way if they, you know, theyfuck up and they become, you you
know, Jeffrey Epstein and
Danny (23:20):
you know?
You can you
Tyler (23:21):
can you know, you're not so married that you don't you
don't have to backpedal it.
Danny (23:24):
Well, and, man, like, yeah, like like false idols and
false biases. That's where Ithink, like, mentorship, really
need to be careful sometimesbecause sometimes there are men
that we work with or childrenthat you work with that you're
like, yeah, man. I can't I can'tI can't be my crazy self. I have
to be this version of myselfthat, like, of all the good
(23:48):
qualities. Yeah.
And I don't get to show youwhere I send you pictures of
somebody farting and somebodydoing things Yeah. That are
inappropriate because you youmay take that and run with it.
It's the fact that, like, oh,Danny does it, and now I've
given you this, this key to alock that you probably don't
wanna unlock. Yeah. Yeah.
(24:09):
You know?
Tyler (24:10):
Right. We we, yeah, we are we are creatures that learn
by example For sure. Way more. II think that's why I've always,
like, I could never get into themilitary myself. I really like,
when 911 happened, I reallywanted to join the military.
I I couldn't I couldn'tphysically do it because of,
(24:30):
because of my eyesight. Mhmm.But I've always loved that the
the marine corps officercandidate school has this this
saying, ductus exemplo. It'slead by example. Sure.
And and and to me, like, that isthe best version of a mentor,
somebody that can lead byexample. But then again, your
your idea of taking the piecesthat work for you and and,
(24:54):
polishing those.
Danny (24:55):
Polishing. Yeah. Like honing those and Yeah. Like,
taking off the little bits thatyou don't that you don't
resonate with, I think that'show you become, like, a really a
really, really good coach.Right.
Going back to wrestling, Ibelieve that's why I'm a great
coach at wrestling. Right. It'sbecause I watch, I hone, I keep
(25:16):
it simple. I I teach it so thateverybody can you could come in
tomorrow, and you could feellike you're a wrestler within 2
days. Yeah.
If I teach you, like, thesecrazy things that are on YouTube
and you watch these crazymatches of these kids that are
just high level kids right nowand you try those moves and you
fail, you're like, yeah. I'm notgonna do that. Yeah. Plus,
(25:37):
honestly, putting that singleton is so empowering Yeah. But
also so, like, man, there'snothing left to hide.
Tyler (25:48):
Yeah. Yeah. I remember my
Danny (25:49):
buddy and I, went to a climbing competition, and he's
like, you know what we shoulddo? We should put the singlets
on. And I was like, dude, okay.Yeah. We should.
Yeah. We should. Yeah. So I givehim a singlet. He's never wore a
singlet.
Never done anything. The firstthing he does, he goes, where do
you put it? And I'm like, oh,for one thing, when you're
(26:13):
you're a wrestler, you don'tcare about the outline. Yeah.
You're not thinking about itlike that.
But we're going to this climbingcompetition, and, of course, we
have outlines. And I was like,so what I'll what I do in this
environment, I put a I putsomething there in place, and he
goes, yeah, my wife said, no.No. I can see everything.
Tyler (26:34):
You don't wanna be that French pole vaulter.
Danny (26:37):
Yeah. And
so even those things, like, man, like, you're trying
to, like, teach these kids to beconfident in their bodies Yeah.
Confident in everything, but notbut and know that boys and men
just by the way that we arecreated are just
Tyler (26:57):
sometimes You're gonna get teased.
Danny (26:59):
And per we're perverted sometimes. You know, we don't
mean it. Right. We I I you know,there's things that I just I say
I do, and I'm just like, oop.Should've done that.
Tyler (27:08):
Yeah. Yeah.
Danny (27:09):
When we have when we do our Tyler and I have talked
about, doing a open mic nightfor a comedy. Mhmm. I have a bit
of of of a situation that I gotmyself into, and one of my bits
is about boys and wrestlingscenes and and and things that
happen. And, man, I I've I'vebeen practicing it, and and it's
(27:31):
it's a true story. Yeah.
And so it's like, I don't haveto I don't have to, like, make
it up. It's an actual truestory.
Tyler (27:36):
That's funny. You know? One of these episodes, we'll
have to perform
Danny (27:40):
our our one minute Yeah. Our one minute Kill the kill
Tony. Kill Tony. Yeah. Butmentorship goes so deep
sometimes that you don't evenknow when a kid is watching you
or when a person's watching you.
And I I I I think about that alot. Like, you don't know if
somebody's watching your actionsand maybe changes or or, like,
(28:05):
they get a different perspectiveof you that you're not, like,
really stoked on.
Yeah.
You know, and I think about that a lot. And so anytime
I'm mentoring anybody orcoaching, I always try to
remember that, like, you'renever gonna knock it out of the
park. Never. You're not gonnaknock it out of the park, but
you're gonna impact a lot ofpeople's lives. And I believe,
(28:26):
myself personally, I've beenlucky.
I've been lucky because so manypeople have come up to me and
been like, thank you so much forwhat you just said. Yeah. Thank
you so much for what you justsaid. Thank you for so much for
how you just worded that or whatyou what that that that meant a
lot to me, you know. And maybethey just they just what they
were thinking, maybe I maybe I Isolidified it or maybe I just
(28:49):
changed it a tiny bit so theycan be comfortable Right.
In their own thoughts. Right.
You know?
Tyler (28:53):
Yeah. I mean, I I I think that's exactly it. Right? When I
look back on my coachingexperience, we were I had a
scenario where we were in theplayoffs. You know, Wasatch High
School here in in in Heber, Utahdoes not have a storied lacrosse
program by any means.
Lacrosse in Utah in general isstill barely in its infancy,
(29:13):
although it's it's grown up nowthanks to to professional
programs. But, we made it to thethe furthest we ever made it in
the playoffs, and we wereplaying a very established
program down in the valley. AndI just remember being hyped and
trying to get these people hypedup. And I grabbed this kid by
the helmet, and I'm looking athim. He's one of my my seniors,
and I'm just, like, hitting myhead.
(29:34):
I split my head open way. Andit's blood bloody. And the
parents in the stand were like,did you just see what your
husband did to my son? This kidnow, the kid that I did it to,
an incredible human being. He'snow in the, the naval academy
playing playing, you know, theiron their football club and and
and just like one of thosepeople we just had that
(29:54):
relationship, though, but I canlook back on that relationship,
and did I leave the relationshipbetter?
Danny (29:58):
Sure. That to
Tyler (29:59):
me is a that that to me is a, a mentorship goal of mine.
And maybe that's why I don'twanna be this dad energy, the
stepdad energy. I wanna be maincharacter energy. I wanna be
leaving the relationship betterthan when I found it.
Danny (30:13):
I understand. And maybe, like, maybe maybe that's a good
way to look at if you do end upwith a relationship with with a
woman with children is that youcan impact their lives just in a
different in a different maincharacter Right. Energy, and
maybe that's where you'relearning. Yeah. Maybe that's the
part that you're learning rightnow.
Yeah. You know, I I've I've beena part of 2 really, really good
(30:38):
wrestling programs Yeah.Luckily. I started with Layton.
Mhmm.
Layton is now currently number 1in the state. They're number 1
in the state, and I was a partof that program, and and I I
believe that, like, some of thevalues and some of the core
things that the coach and I,instilled, they're still working
on today. And then, of course, Iwas a part of Wasatch, which is
(31:00):
a storied Yeah. Which is astoried. I mean, like, it it it
is a very storied program inUtah and in the the national
rankings, you know.
And I was lucky. I was lucky tobe a part of them. I was lucky
to have good people around me,good wrestlers around me. Yeah.
I'm currently, getting ready tobecome part of Park City
(31:24):
wrestling program at Park CityHigh School.
And they have 0 support, 0community support, and this is
gonna be such a big learningcurve for me and it's gonna test
me on every aspect of my life,you know. Mhmm. Because I've,
I've been lucky so far. And I'mgonna be building it from pretty
(31:44):
much the ground up in and andimproving on and hopefully,
giving more to what Tristan didlast year, which was just
getting the kids out there,keeping them out there. He did
such a good job with them at 20years old.
19 he's 19 years old, has thesekids out there trusting him as a
(32:06):
19 year old, you know, and Ithink maybe I pat maybe he gets
that from me. Maybe he gets thatthat ability to talk to resonate
with these children. And I'malways like, man, remember,
like, don't don't get caught upin the fact that you're 19 so
you can be a dumbass and Yeah.Teach them dumbass isms. Yeah.
You know? Dumbass isms. Butwe'll see. I mean, it's it's
(32:28):
it's exciting. It's it's it'sexciting, and and hopefully, we
can get the program coming up.
And it'll test my mentorship andmy coaching Sure. Ability to to
the umpteenth because, like,it's not a year. It's not like
you're you're you're dedicating1 year. You're dedicating your
life several needs several. 5 to10 years of
Tyler (32:46):
So would you rather be a part of a storied program or a a
a building program?
Danny (32:51):
I thought about this yesterday. I I I kinda had a,
like, a little bit of anepiphany, that I would I love
the fact that I have thisconcrete foundation of these 2
Yeah. Foundations that I canbuild potentially. Like, man, I
was thinking, like, gosh, itwould be awesome to have, you
(33:11):
know, a a team that does reallywell at stake. Right.
Right. You know, makes it in thetop 5. And and they're like
Tristan, Danny, Kurt, Larry,Meg, they did that. Yeah. And
they did it from ground.
And I
think that will be kinda cool with the, main character
energy. Yeah. Right? And thatstepdad energy that we were
(33:34):
talking about. Part of that withme also is I've I've I know for
a fact that I I couldn't do iteither.
Yeah. Not that I wouldn't. Youknow, I I mean, I'm not in that
situation. Right? So, it'sreally hard for me to understand
(33:54):
or resonate with that ideabecause, I know personally,
like, I I would struggle withthe other person.
Yeah. You know, the other theother side of that. Yeah.
Because you don't wanna step ontoes. Right?
But if the person's not teachingthe children the right the right
life skills, when do you stepin? When do you say enough is
(34:17):
enough? I gotta take I gottathrow you these things. Yeah.
Tyler (34:20):
Yeah. And it's it is very interesting. Right? You go back
to that Jordan Peterson quoteabout, like, when your child
does something, you've gottacorrect them.
Danny (34:28):
Yeah.
Tyler (34:29):
Because you are going to correct them in a more gentle
way than probably the the worldwill. For sure. And I think that
that's true, but, I mean, Ithink that that's part of, like,
we're in this dynamic as a as afamily. I'm not necessarily your
dad. Sure.
I'm not going I'm not here toreplace your dad. Your dad is
still going to be an example inyour life. He's still going to
(34:49):
teach you things whether you'reaware of what he's teaching you
or not. He's still teaching youthings, but I'm also going to be
in that life. Just don't call mea stepdad.
Danny (34:56):
Yeah. Right? You know what I mean? How did that, so so
going back to you were on a dateMhmm. And you're telling this,
your your date that, what waswhat was her response?
Tyler (35:09):
I she got really, like, really wide eyed, like, like,
really wide eyed. And then,again, it has nothing to do with
me not wanting kids or notwanting additional kids or not
wanting to grow my family. But,you know, at my age, my kids are
my kids are grown.
Danny (35:23):
Sure.
Tyler (35:24):
Yeah. Do you really think that, like, I'm gonna meet a new
woman and my oldest who's 18years old is going to accept her
as as a mother figure. Sure. I Imean, I don't know. I don't
know.
I think that, like, she'llprobably be able to teach my
daughter some things and andprovide my daughter with some
critical life experience. But Ithink it's on my daughter to,
(35:46):
like, really determine what roleis this person going to have in
my life. Right. As somebody whosat on the sideline and watched
my kids kind of, you know, havea a bonus parent per se, like, I
don't get the impression thatthey care too much. Sure.
And it could just be that thenature of that relationship
isn't very evolved yet, but, youyou know what I mean? Like, if
(36:11):
they don't respect the personthat I'm with, I'm not gonna be
with that person. Right. That's
Danny (36:17):
a that's a that's a that's an interesting stand
because I don't know ifeverybody would have that same
stand. Right?
Tyler (36:23):
No. No. No.
Danny (36:23):
I think it's unique
Tyler (36:24):
to me, and I'm I wouldn't I wouldn't suggest it for
anyone. I think everybody'sunique and you have to
determine, like, ultimately, myrelationship is up to me. Sure.
Right? I agree.
But my I I do have younger kids.Like, I have, you know, a 12
year old at home. I have a 16year old at home. And I
certainly would expect that thatwhoever I partner with is is
(36:45):
participating in in thatupbringing. And and and that's
by live being a living exampleof what it's like to live in
this world.
Relationship dynamics are weird.
Danny (36:53):
In the studio. That's 842, April 4th, and the podcast
comes out, and sometimes youhave
Speaker 4 (36:59):
to reset up and shoot an outro. So, Danny, thank you
Yeah. For swinging by on yourway home. Yeah. It's it's been
crazy with testing our newequipment and and the learning
curve behind the wheel.
Danny (37:12):
Yeah. I'm super grateful for you to to keep working
within our audience to to bepatient with us because we we're
trying to figure out ways to usethe this to be wireless in other
places because we have so manypeople that are willing to come
on the podcast with us. Yeah.And, we record that and we watch
(37:33):
ourselves. It's hard to putyourself back in the
conversation.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Itis.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
It's a it's really difficult to put yourself back
in the conversation and superjust grateful for
Danny (37:43):
for all that
Speaker 4 (37:43):
all that you said. And, like, again, I think it
opens up where we wanna take thepodcast. Like, why did we start
it? I'd love to, you know, getout on the nuts a little bit and
get out to the Red Seatournaments and get out in the
community Yeah. And take thepodcast out of the studio.
I love the studio, you know,when we when it's you and I just
having a session, and we gotspace down here to have a guest.
(38:04):
But, I think, again, like,getting the bus out there, it's
gonna look so great in 4 k.
Danny (38:10):
I hope you guys are appreciated in the 4 k. Yep.
Thanks for being patient withit. Not at all. The the the
podcast, as we were going onabout mentorship and and how to
take that up and and how to beinvolved as a mentor is so
important to to me.
It's such a good part of mylife. And I can't, thank the
(38:34):
people that have allowed me tobe a mentor in their life
enough. Like, I I really amgrateful for it because it's
such a big part of my life. Andwhen you those people around
your children, especially whereyou are, like, like, we were
talking about main characterenergy and, like Yeah. You know,
stepdad or or step parentenergy.
You know? And we wanna be ableto have a cohesive, vision for
(38:57):
each Yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
Of your children. Exactly. It's so interesting as
I've gone back to school andstarted some of my first course
work. I'm like, they're they'reemphasizing the structure of
systems, and we look at thesesystems. Right?
What systems are you putting inplace? Like, we put in place
systems to our daily routine, toour jujitsu routine. But, like,
when we expand that, we actuallyhave a family system. Right? And
(39:19):
we have an open family systemwhere we allow information in,
and we have a closed familysystem that that doesn't allow a
lot of information, wherethere's one person.
And so I think it can be meant,like, I started this because I
felt like I needed it, and Ididn't know where to get it. And
I just feel like I didn'tresonate with a lot of the other
voices that were out there. Andso with this, the cool economy
(39:42):
we're in, the social micro microspace economy, we can really
develop content that's uniquefor our particular voice. So,
yeah, hopefully, that resonateswith people. Yeah.
And
Danny (39:53):
they'll be a little cut from when we were talking to the
best to right now. Yeah. Thatthe the overall, their job
message is the same. Yeah.Right?
We have the same message that wehave. We're learning as we grow.
We had such a crazy night lastnight. Oh. I'm so tired today.
Oh, god. It's brutal. Just thefact that we have the academy as
(40:17):
our own to ship and as our ownplace to experiment is is what I
would like for other people, butalso to be that, like, space for
them and Yeah. That space for,as as you grow to have people in
your life of of mentorship.Yeah.
And it was like took those thoseare my rest not my days to
(40:39):
recover. You know? Yes. But butI was still excited today of,
like, being like, let's go. I Ilike to I like I wanna keep
going.
I wanna keep going. I wanna keepgoing. I wanna keep encouraging
and keep putting my name outthere and putting myself out
there to to get better. I havenot sauna ed in a little bit,
(41:02):
and man, I was dying for a saunato go. You know?
Yeah. And, I was like, I justthink it was about a like, oh,
when the sauna's so bad, that itit provides that space of, like,
getting your mind right.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
It did so does. And I was lucky enough to hit the
sauna a few weeks ago eventhough it kinda down on me.
Danny (41:21):
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
But, I'm with you. Like, you forget the clarity
that that brings, and and thisis another this is another
aspect of it, but you ruinedthat whole system. You ruined
that system. All of it. Yeah.
Because the sauna does it justprovides something so unique.
Yeah. Yeah. But it said, like,let's wrap it up then. Get get
get back to bed.
Like, man, last night was sobrutal. It was, like, I thought
(41:42):
I I donned me
Danny (41:43):
a broken arm last night. It was crazy how how much energy
was flowing in the academy and,like, how, people brought the
energy. Yeah. And you could tellthere's a different training
environment last night. Youknow?
I got that's on the mat. ThatYeah. That says something about
what Mike has done Oh, yeah. Inhis in in his in his what he's
(42:06):
done and the little talk that hegave prior to open mat, I think,
kind of, like, got people in themood Yeah. For training, and
teaching and being a mentor andand, like, and having that part
of your journey.
I think that is a part of men'sjourney is to teach, you know,
to to to inspire, to to be avoice of, like, this is the path
(42:27):
and Yeah. Come follow me and Ican help you, and I'll give you
advice and guidance, but it'sjust advice and guidance.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Yeah. It's cool. I'm really disappointed about last
night that he taught some reallycool stuff, and I didn't have a
single opportunity to use. Butit's like it's pollution I
guess. I find myself gettingstuck in quite a bit.
Danny (42:44):
Oh, yeah. That yeah. That was cool. I that's the first
time I've seen those thosethings that he showed. Yeah.
When I got there, those thosethings that he's shown. I've
never seen them before. Like,that was in that was probably
I'm sure. Put that down. Like,wow.
That was kinda cool. Yeah. Butappreciate the fact that, like,
we're doing this. I appreciateyou taking the time, to to put
(43:06):
yourself in this brand newspace. Yeah.
So I see episodes of, learninglessons, I'm sure, for you.
Yeah. And, you know, I'm sonontechnical that I'm like, hey,
man. I'm supportive. I've beenyour support system.
You know? Like, it's I wastalking to you, and I was like,
man, that's that was such atechnical conversation. I was
(43:26):
like, I gotta go early. Yeah.Hopefully, we can see it, but,
like, we're slowly working atthe the the you
Speaker 4 (43:32):
know, you see the statement behind us here. We've
got wired equipment. Wiredequipment, we've got dialed.
Like, it's just such a goodsound. Yeah.
That same sound on our wirelessequipment so we can be we can be
mobile and and get out toevents. And, like, I got my
confirmation for summer camp, soI'd love to do an episode out at
summer camp. Like, that's thekind of stuff that, I'm I'm
(43:56):
looking forward to. I do.
Danny (43:58):
I hope we're gonna have second to go out of the episode
to kinda work out the last ofthe bugs and then, into guests
after guest after guest afterguest. I think that I'm gonna go
ahead and try to line them up,so that we have a guest on each
episode coming up. Yeah. And so,man, I appreciate Park City
Wrestling. They allowed me tobecome an assistant coach.
(44:21):
I've got that coming up. Thatwas an announcement. That was a
big announcement. Oh, cool. Comeon.
I can't remember if you typedabout it in the beginning of the
episode, but just so we'reclear, man. Like, I'm excited,
to to to come the coaching roleYeah. Of wrestling, but I really
love wrestling. Yeah. And I'vehad I've had the confirmation
that I was like, so just I'msure I got a job.
Cool. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
Just training, you know, trying to ease myself back
into school. We're getting inNovember. Right? Like, Scooby
thinks Scooby before we know it.It's gonna be the holidays
before we know it.
Danny (44:55):
And then flew by. Right? Yeah.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
I mean, this whole world has been, like, a blur.
Yeah. Like, it feels like justyesterday was January. Yeah.
Like, it I don't even know wherethe time goes.
So just hitting that school,work, not the rink. Kids. Yeah.
Nothing. Right now, just, yeah,just those things.
Good. Just laying thefoundation. Yeah. Alright.
(45:17):
That's a good one.
Danny (45:17):
Yeah. So that so that nothing topples. Yeah. Yeah.
Yep.
Exactly right. Good. Exactlyright. Shout out to maintenance.
If you, If
Speaker 4 (45:25):
you haven't heard, we partnered with them as
ambassadors. Their mission ofhigh quality jujitsu gear for
kind
Danny (45:34):
of looking at you into stress on the back. It aligns so
perfectly with what we do here,what we talk about
Speaker 4 (45:40):
on the podcast. Check out their their website. They
just launched a new website.Looks pretty stinking good. You
can, watch Boy Scouts for a 15%off, and they hook us up with a
little bit to get cool newequipment, and, their their
stuff looks good.
Looking for sponsorships,looking for, collectible agents.
Danny (46:01):
Yep. Looking for just ideas, great things. Even if
it's like, hey. Do this withyour audio. Help you this.
I I prefer you to be Yeah. Iknow. I really look. Yeah. I I
and so grateful for the last 2episodes for those of you that
have been able to power throughit.
It was I listened to the lastone. It was great. I'm sure this
(46:21):
was gonna be great as well.
Speaker 4 (46:22):
Yeah. Yeah. We'll get the audio sorted and yeah. Just
appreciate you guys. Until nexttime, you know, we'll see you in
the months.
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