July 16, 2024 • 43 mins
Scott Moore has followed his curiosity and passion. From making a bold call to land an internship at MTV, to producing influential music documentaries at VH1, to an amazing career as a musician, Scott's journey is a magical mystery ride. His honest discussion about his family's history is heartwarming and inspiring.
Join us to discover Scott's story and the depth and beauty of his life's journey in Jersey and that little city right near us (NYC).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Jeanette, hello Rachel.
We have an interview today withScott Moore, who is a native
New Jerseyan.
He's from Northern New Jerseyand he joined us today to tell
us about his background growingup in Rutherford, and how he
ended up moving to New York Cityand working for MTV and VH1,
(00:21):
and his music career and toucheson his very fascinating
personal family background.
I hope you enjoy this interview.
Well, thank you so much, scott,for coming on.
I have known you through socialmedia mainly.
I've watched your posts andI've always really enjoyed all
the things that you post in yourlife and your story.
(00:43):
You're kind of one of thosepeople on social media that you
watch and you think their lifeis really interesting.
You know, and I kind of waslike I want to reach out to him,
but I have met you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I remember through your sister, initially when she
was creating that little mediagathering.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
That's right, it was my sister's first kickoff of the
media, montclair Media Alliance, which actually was a big
success, but it was hard to keepputting those on.
There's a lot of work involvedin doing those, so but yeah, I
remember meeting you there andkind of following you ever since
.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I used to do the story salon, the Montclair story
salon with Liz for a while.
Yes, liz, samuel, and the lastone, I was at you were there.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I did two recently.
One I was playing guitar forStacia Thiel.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And then one was the Literary Festival, right, the
Lit Festival.
Yep yeah, it's great.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
And I know Stacia very well from those.
She's an incredible musician.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah as well.
She's a great friend and wecollaborate a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I don't know if you saw the bio, but I record.
Yeah, that's so cool.
Just to introduce people to you, is that you're a musician,
clearly from your backgroundthere with the guitars that you
have in the back.
You're also a film producer, avideo producer, an editor, is
that right?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I edit, but I don't call myself an editor.
I'm more of a producer,director and film in the sense
like I don't do theatricalrelease stuff, but I've made
documentary films for television.
I made my own web series.
I worked in television fordecades at a lot of networks
yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I'd love to hear that .
So tell us what we we like toask people their backstory so
where are you from?
And then take us through yourjourney.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I was under the impression when I first read
about this podcast.
First of all, that's reallycool that you're doing it,
because my understanding is thatyou're both not from here, but
you're embracing it in a way bydoing this, because New Jersey
is a place that either peoplelove or hate, and then across
(02:55):
that there's a ton of people whojust misunderstand it, or it
takes a while and then they fallin love with it.
For me, it's like my DNA, mybloodline.
My mom grew up in New Jersey.
I grew up in Rutherford.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
It's seven miles from midtown Manhattan.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, rutherford is a great town that every time I go
there a lot is going on hereespecially food.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It's exploding, yeah, the restaurants floating.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It's interesting that you bring that up because it
always was a nice town.
My mom grew up in a nearby townthat that she aspired to live
in Rutherford one day.
So that was a dream for her andshe made it happen because
Rutherford had a little bit of acachet.
It never had quite the wealthand diversity that Montclair had
In that little nook of SouthernBergen County.
(03:48):
It had old homes, it had aninteresting history, you know.
It had a pretty working classelement to it when I was there,
which I'm very grateful to havegrown up with.
I really still relatevalue-wise to so many of the
people I grew up with there andso many of them stayed.
So I recently had my 40th highschool reunion.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wow, I know, in the past we could not even ever
imagine.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Aging is a privilege.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
It is.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It's true.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
It's true, because the alternative isn't great.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It was refreshing and it was so nice to reconnect and
it was so nice to see how thetown has maintained so much of
his heart and yet evolved insome really nice ways.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Well, what I find interesting is that, diving back
into your journey out ofRutherford and then coming back,
I think we can circle backaround about.
I know you went off and went toNew York City after college and
worked for MTV for a while,Like you got an internship there
because you had to get a jobright Based on what I read of
your bio and it's interestingabout that journey, I'm curious
(05:05):
about that.
And then circling back to thehumility that you get as life
goes on, Cause I'm sure therewas a stage of your life You're
kind of like I'm crushing it.
I'm kind of big time now.
I'm like I'm with MTV and youdisconnect to your roots a
little, a little, cause you'removing.
Did that ever happen to you?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes and no.
Well, first of all, you wereasking I do a lot of different
things and it's always like alittle bit of a challenging
thing to cause.
People don't always get it.
The truth of my, my journey isI just follow my curiosity as a
human being.
I have a lot of that, you know.
I have a decent amount oftalent, I have good social
(05:43):
skills.
But to me it's like when Itravel or when I look at music
or art or mostly other humanbeings, kind of like what you're
doing with this you'refollowing your curiosity to talk
to other human beings abouttheir journeys.
Talk to other human beingsabout their journeys.
(06:07):
So to me, as a writer, as amusician and then ultimately
working in film and TV, that'salways been my, my draw and to
me it's not much different, themedium that I do it in, other
than the skills that you need todo it in that medium.
The truth of the matter is isthat my parents couldn't afford
to support me, and they werealso came from an era like, all
(06:29):
right, you paid for college, youwent like you can make music
all you want, but you need a job, you need to contribute to the
household, which because Iluckily also.
I think I need to point outthere are so many famous and
accomplished people from NewJersey, especially Northern New
Jersey.
I mean, the list is ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
It's not trouble to talk about this.
I've heard James Gandolfinitalk about this, other people,
richard Lewis, it you know,because we didn't have to get on
a Greyhound bus to go to Oz.
You know of this place thatpeople dream to dream to, like
(07:10):
New York or LA are those kindsof places to go.
Try to make something happen.
We got on a bus and in 15minutes we could do it.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
And you saw it was possible and you could still
live at home.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, exactly, so there's a financial component to
that, a huge and a whole senseof this is attainable.
Right, you know, even if we'redeluded in our own skills, you
know you feel like, hey, I coulddo this.
Yeah, you know, travolta's dadowned the tire shop in Westwood
and he would get on the bus andgo to auditions in Westwood.
(07:46):
And he would get on the bus andgo to auditions.
But, yeah, so I was in.
I was in college in EasternPennsylvania and we had like a
trimester kind of thing whereyou could take a couple of
classes or do an internship inthe winter and it's a, it's it's
all.
Pre cell phones, pre everything, I, we, we would sit around
watching and we were the MTVgeneration.
Yeah, yeah, I was.
(08:08):
It is the best generation.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yeah, we are the best yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I'm like I bleed Gen X yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
We were saying we're going to do an episode.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
We have to do a Gen X episode.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Gen X is the best Is the best Gen, it's the best.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Gen.
And here's another fun fact Iwas childhood friends, although
we lived in new york, withanthony michael hall ah, the
practice club, yeah uh, kind ofa face of gen x.
But so here we are, like in my,in my you know, dude house in
college that just should havebeen fumigated every week and we
(08:47):
had a phone on the wall and wewatch MTV and I was like I'm
gonna get an internship.
I was a journalism major at thetime.
I went to study music, but Ididn't really like the academic
approach to music, so which didjournalism Anyway?
So the funny thing is I pickedup the phone and I dialed 411
(09:09):
for all out there.
That was the closest thing wehad to google.
Um, and I remember the thereally funny part.
Am I allowed to curse on thispodcast?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
yeah, yeah because, we're gen xers, we it's, it's
all part of our language.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
It's like it's the local dialect.
Um so anyway, it was fuckinghysterical because I dialed 411
and said I'm like can I have thenumber for MTV in New York?
And the operator said can youspell that?
Wow, I just paused and said itknow oh my god.
(09:49):
And the interesting thing is isthat I got a general number and
then I said I was looking for aninternship uh, in tv shows, or
you know.
They sent me right through tothe executive assistant, to Doug
Herzog.
Wow, the very influential.
He wound up running MTV,running Comedy Central.
(10:12):
He is a Jersey guy himself.
I don't even know Doug thatwell, even though I worked for
him.
He was like way above.
But there are a lot ofMontclair people who were very
tight with Doug, his executiveassistant.
I spoke to her, I sent myresume right after that, which I
(10:34):
really tried to be charmingwith, and they hired me.
I'm still friends with theperson who hired me.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
It's such a good story with the person who hired
me.
It's such a good story.
I did.
You know Adam Curry, the MTV BJ.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I didn't know him well, but I lived in Verona, I
think Well.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I ended up working for him at some point when he
left he.
He has a really funny storybecause I worked in the during
thecom boom and then bust.
But he, he had registered.
He was like a techie too, so hehad registered MTV dot com, but
(11:13):
in his own name.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Nobody sold that shit for a lot of money.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Oh, he did.
And then he invested it intohis own dot com company and
that's when he hired me andthat's I worked for him for a
bit for his other company.
It was like oh my gosh, you'remy mtv vj.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
That's crazy I didn't work a lot with the mtv vjs.
I was working in news and andwhat they called long form
programming, which were tvspecials at the time and I moved
over to MTV News.
It was kind of obnoxiousbecause there were really
well-established, brilliantpeople there and I was like 20
(11:52):
years old.
But then one of the writersthat had been there a long time
got a sabbatical to go write abook and they needed to fill the
slot.
So I kind of they looked aroundand they're like go ahead.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
He wants to do it Nice.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It was yeah.
So Kurt Loder was there and Idon't know if you, if you guys,
remember John Norris.
John Norris was a VJ for awhile and a host.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I totally did,but at that time he wasn't on
camera, he was just a writer andI think I annoyed everybody by
being there because I wasn'tquite qualified, but won them
(12:35):
over eventually.
That was a baptism by fire,because MTV News was a small
team that was cranking out stuffwas a small team that was
cranking out stuff.
I remember who came right afterme and I helped her learn the
computer system and she's awonderful journalist.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
So Tabitha Sorin, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
She interned right after me and Alison Stewart.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yep, who's on?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
who does all of it now, all of it, yeah, and is
from Glen Ridge Ridge, yeah, sothere was just like amazing
people and I always feel like itwas like rock and roll media,
grad school, like where we were.
We are all kindred spirits,wasn't like it wasn't
inappropriate.
We're just like this hugefriend group, just kind of uh,
(13:30):
in your twenties you partiedtogether.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
You did everything together.
It was sort of like your.
There was no work-life balancebecause it was work-life
together.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah that's true, and , and from a Viacom standpoint,
there was no work-life balanceCause I always said if I got
paid overtime, I would haveretired at 30.
Of course it was just not.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
It was constant yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
We loved what we did.
Yeah, the stories are amazing.
I met my wife at VH1.
That's awesome.
So I wound up moving to VH1 andhad a really good mentor there
named Eamon Harrington, who'salso a Jersey guy but has been
in LA forever, who just gave mea chance.
We started making these littlemusic documentaries.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Behind the music the VH1 behind the music.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
This was before behind the music and what
evolved into behind the music.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Okay, because those are awesome, they were.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I can't take credit for Behind the Music but I can
take credit for I think theywere called VH121s at the time.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah, and then laying the groundwork for Behind the
Music.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
And the first one that got a lot of attention was
my first one that I was doingand they said you should just do
your own.
And I was like I was like, sure, like, but not super confident
that I could, but the interviewhad already been recorded and
they're like we want you to makea show out of this.
And it was with somebody that,ironically, a lot of people,
(15:01):
unless they were older than me,knew, but a lot of people who
are my age didn't know.
But as a music junkie, I did,and it was Bonnie Raitt, who is
still a total hero of mine.
I just saw her and played thesame music festival in New
Orleans last month, anyway, soshe had come out with this
(15:21):
record.
Now a lot of people don'trealize that Bonnie Raitt was
just like an artist that everyother musician loved but did not
have critical acclaim.
She was playing bars and shewas like a critic's darling.
She was a true blue artist butdidn't have the success of her
friends James Taylor, jacksonBrown, springsteen, other people
(15:45):
who were huge fans of hers.
Then she came out with in 1989,the Nick of Time album and that
was the special that I did.
So all of a sudden, she thanksVH1 at the Grammys.
And she where she cleaned up.
All of a sudden, all the recordcompanies wanted to do these
(16:06):
specials on on artists and theywere collaborating with us and
helping contribute financially.
Oh, that's awesome.
And and they were taking myshows and because we were, we
were scaling up and bringingother producers and saying, make
it like this, make it like this.
So I won this, really showingmy age.
I won because back then, thecable networks, including HBO,
(16:31):
were not qualified for Right.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
This was the age.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now, and you also have to realize, I'm 24 years
old.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
It's amazing how much you accomplished by 24.
That's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I mean I look back.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
What a ride.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Think about.
I didn't know what the fuck Iwas doing, but I did enough to
do it and I was always trying topush myself to learn and I was,
I guess, cocky enough to pullit off, but yet not so cocky
that I took for granted whatpeople who knew more than me
know.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, that is a fine balance and it's a good thing to
know.
Though, you have to have enoughconfidence to say I can figure
it out.
You know I'm going to take thisand I'm going to run with it
and not shy away from doing it,and that you wouldn't decline
the offer to do it, but alsoknow that you can learn from
someone if you need to figuresomething out and you don't
(17:29):
really know it Exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
And the curiosity thing.
That's what it comes down to.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, that's the thing is that I wanted to touch
on a little is that I've beenreading, listening to a book
about the anxious generationthat Rachel and I are supposed
to be listening to, but it'sabout-.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Which generation is that?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It's this generation, it's our kids, the kids that-.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I was gonna say yeah, this generation about.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
It has to do with raising a child to have a
discovery type of mind, and soit was just piquing my interest
about.
We had talked a little bitabout talking about your
childhood.
The fact that you were able tomake that 411 call okay kind of
sets you apart and I think itset the ball rolling about
(18:13):
somebody who has enoughconfidence to know that they can
figure out the next step.
If they can get to that, youknow, and then it seems to have
carried you through.
You know you set yourself upconstantly to discover and allow
yourself to the next level,that confidence.
I know that we we said that wewanted to talk about your
(18:35):
childhood, your, your familylife a little bit.
I'm wondering how that mighthave had effect on you.
I.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I you know I haven't explored this in therapy, so let
me think here we are thebroadcast therapy.
This is cheaper.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yes, it's free.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I grew up.
Let me see how I can do theReader's Diet.
My mom was a very street, smart, scrappy Jersey woman, first
generation Italian family on herfather's side, but grew up in a
very Italian culture, ItalianAmerican culture, you know like
and, to be honest, likeRutherford, Montclair and all
(19:18):
those towns as you get closer tothe city.
I mean, when the Sopranos cameout, it was like validating all
of us, not like the stereotype,but just the attitude and the
vibe and the way people talk andthe relationships and the other
parts of our culture which alot of us are really proud of.
My mom came from that world andmy dad was like an academia and
(19:44):
a little more upper class and Ithink my mom always aspired to
get out of the world that shegrew up in.
So she got married, couldn'thave kids this is pre-in vitro.
They couldn't conceive and mymom, being a liberal go-getter
(20:05):
and my dad, being veryconservative, was really she
convinced him to adopt twoNative American children.
They were adopted pretty late,five and two, and had a very
challenging life that they werecoming from, and then, like a
year later, they got pregnant,which happens a lot.
It does.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Right Later find out the role that stress plays in
fertility.
I was the accident miracle,depending on who you ask.
And then fast forward three anda half years.
There was a friend group thatmy mom and dad were very much
(20:46):
entrenched in with my dad'sco-workers and they just had a
great social life and bowlingand cocktails and all and uh, my
mother fell in love with awoman in that friend group and
it she wanted to kill herself.
She didn't, she was notself-aware it was a time that
(21:07):
you it wasn't the time of theculture and it was a little bit
my mom, because she's she's goodat like staying on her course,
um, but yeah, definitely at thattime, especially growing up
devout catholic yeah, yeah verymachismo world, uh where, and
also an italian culture wherelike not very, not very
(21:30):
progressive at least.
So there's a whole thing thatgoes with that.
But basically I grew up withtwo moms in somewhat working
class New Jersey, kind of underthe radar.
It wasn't like we denied it,but it certainly wasn't talked
about.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So this is all through your high school, all
through school.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Three and a half till now.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Was it hard for you on a daily basis?
Yeah, I mean outside of thehouse.
It must have felt differentthan when you were in your house
.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean you really get into denial mode.
And it was easy to be in denialmode because my parents when I
say my parents now, I mean mymom, jan, and Emily, her partner
, who I consider my mother nowat that time it was like Auntie
Em.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Literally everyone called her Auntie Em, you know,
kind of fitting metaphor becauseit was kind of like living in
Oz, not as much song and dance.
So once you start becomingaware of what's going on, it was
comfortable for me to go alongwith the denial and the not
talking about it, becausetalking about it would have been
(22:44):
we didn't have the word cringythen, which is so popular now
amongst the kids, but it wouldhave been excruciating for me.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, It'd be crunchy .
Did you feel that at school,when there'd be asking for
things with your father involved, and that that you always just
kind of skated past it?
Speaker 2 (23:03):
We're a lot of broken homes, so that was easy.
Getting past it.
We're a lot of broken homes, sothat was easy.
We just went on with our lives.
Emily came to my baseball games.
She was a huge baseball fan andI was a really good baseball
player up until I was like 13.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
You know, people liked her.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah right, they were not standing on a soapbox and
they particularly didn't talkabout it because they were
really worried at that time ofhaving us taken away from them.
I understand that time couldhave, you know, like child
protection services my fatherbeing super conservative, white
bread, you know he kind of like.
(23:41):
Once the divorce happened, hewas understandably devastated
but went on with his life.
I have very little to do withhim, he had moved.
Another part of why they hadsplit up is because his job
moved him to North Carolina,worked in the fabric industry
(24:03):
and it was a great opportunitybecause he was, you know,
successful industry, and it wasa great opportunity because he
was, you know, successful.
But my mother went.
This is when I was really tiny,being in the South in the late
60s, and she was doing civilrights marches here.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
She was not comfortable, did not fit in.
Yeah, did not fit in.
Yeah, did not fit in, so it waslike oh, and you blend, right.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, you know what about your siblings.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
How were they um?
How did they handle it?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
it was the same as you no, we all have our
different experience and youhave to remember, because they
were older, they were much moreaware of what was going on yeah,
we had much more of arelationship with our dad.
And also they came with a lotof baggage the culture, the
socioeconomic depression, thepoverty, the addiction all comes
(25:01):
with them.
Yeah, and at five and two andbeing taken from their parents
and put in foster and abused infoster all this incredible
information and journalism beingdone around that globally, but
particularly Canada and theUnited States.
But it even happened in, likeAustralia and New Zealand, with
(25:27):
the Maori.
They had their own stuff todeal with and I think in some
ways it was harder for thembecause of whatever baggage they
came with, but also becausethey mourned that family unit
pulled apart and I didn't reallyremember I still hardly any
(25:51):
memories of living with my dad.
I mourn the loss of not havinga father in my life.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
And I talk about this thing.
Yesterday was Father's Day.
I always do a post for the menof the world who step up and be
present for a kid who didn'thave a father around.
That's not to diminish the rolethat my lesbian parents played.
I mean they.
(26:18):
They did an incredible job withwhat they had, but there were
some friends of the family thatshowed up for me in ways that I
really needed.
My brother and sister have hadvery challenging lives.
I don't want to judge them inany way.
They're good people.
My brother, being the eldest,wound up going back to the
(26:40):
reservation because he feltthat's where he belonged.
After retirement he left homeat like 16, lived in New York
City and became a prettysignificant addict and then
cleaned himself up.
I mean, he was there in thereal 70s Studio 54 days.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah, he did it up.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
And he you know.
Both of his parents wereaddicts.
His mother drank the entirepregnancy, so he's a miracle
that he's alive.
He lives in South Dakota.
He's 65 years old.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
That is a miracle, that's a success.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
And he is clean and sober, which is beautiful.
My sister lives in StatenIsland, has a lot of health
issues, works as a substituteteacher in elementary schools
centers and they've had reallyrough, challenging lives.
A lot of us think like theymight not have been here now if
(27:43):
they hadn't been adopted,because the lifespan on an
Indian reservation is in thelike high 50s Right and they're
the like high 50s Right andthey're both in their 60s, so
it's a very complicated thing.
I still have relationships withthem, but we're not super close
.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
What I was thinking is that you know your childhood
has a lot of color and different.
You know variations, that yourparents, they were able to give
you a unique background, andthat things can be different.
You don't have to live or dolife the standard way, and the
fact that you were talking abouthow you kind of had this way of
(28:23):
not telling anybody or just andjust moving forward with your
life is just, it's aninteresting thing.
But yet there's so much depthbehind this incredibly fun
character of a life.
You know there's this and I Iwould just say that because I
know now you have turned youplay music a lot.
(28:44):
That's mainly your main passionand life is playing music and
from what I know and what I'veresearched on your music is it's
very soulful, kind, loving, andit has this.
It almost like it's a.
It's your persona that I knowof you.
Like your, your, your personalpersona is someone of caring and
(29:05):
kindness and love and trying tohelp others in different ways,
and I think that it's somehowthat backstory of yours, you
know.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I mean, that's what I say to people.
It was a weird upbringing, butthose values that you're talking
about were instilled in me bymy, by my parents, and when I
say my parents, I mean Jan andEmily.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I feel like you understand the suffering of
people in some weird.
It's like you understand thatpeople can be, on the face value
, really exciting and dynamic,but behind you understand that
there's depth and pain ineveryone.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Well, that's really sweet and insightful and I do do
mindfully try to practice that.
You know it's so weird.
It's like you see a meme likeyears ago.
You see a meme before memeswere a thing and all of a sudden
you feel like oh yeah, and, andnow they're a cliche.
But I remember seeing, like 15years ago, like everybody's
(30:03):
going through something that youknow nothing about yeah exactly
.
I was a kid going throughsomething that people knew
nothing about and, as humanbeings on the earth we all are,
culturally, sociologically theworld wasn't ready for those
conversations.
How do you feel?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
about today.
How do you feel about today?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Well, let me fast forward for you.
1998, my parents sell the housein Rutherford and of course a
lot of people knew they were gay.
Um, and they moved to OceanGrove, new Jersey, um, and
bought a multi-family so thatthey could have income because
they were antique dealers.
They had no, you know that'scool I love.
That antique dealing is likesocially acceptable hoarding um,
(30:50):
and I got some of these.
I fight it every day.
But still they moved to OceanGrove, which is right on the
border of Asbury Park, for thosewho don't know, and even though
its history as a religious town, the gay community was starting
to kind of take hold, myparents wound up becoming like
very big players in the marriageequality movement of New Jersey
(31:13):
, so much so that a documentarywas made about them that
propelled them even further.
For instance, a few years agoDonald Trump was in office and
you know, and they were kind oflike handpicking far right
people for the Supreme Court andAmy Coney Barrett was there.
(31:35):
Cory Booker put up this was onC-SPAN, she's interviewing her
put up a huge picture of myparents and said these are my
friends and they were able toget married 48 years into their
relationship.
Are you going to tell them theyraised a beautiful family?
Are you going to tell them thatthey can't be married anymore?
Of course she dodged thequestion.
(31:56):
My stepmom, Emily, passed awaythree years ago about a week ago
it was three years and my mom,jan, is still out there, 87,
going to the piano bar havingcocktails, going up at the
governor's mansion to speakabout equality for seniors,
(32:21):
which is another frontier,because that generation still
holds on to their stigma andit's a difficult for a lot of
elder gay people to be acceptedinto assisted living and things
like that.
So what's nice is thateverything became out and the
world kind of caught up to ourlife.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
There's always being pushed back and there's always,
you know, potential for, youknow, backstepping.
Of course this happens, but Iit's.
It's.
It's heartening to say thatthey did get to see the progress
.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Yes, you know there has been so much progress in
that area and they got to be apart of it, lead it and also get
the rewards from it, so thatthat is wonderful.
I wanted to get to ask you aquestion before, because I know
we're going long, but about yourcomposing, because I'm a
musician.
I play violin for a long timeand I was looking at the
(33:19):
compositions you have on yoursite and I'm always curious,
when I meet people who composepieces, if they watch what
they're given first and thenthen like how does that happen
for you?
Do you read treatment and thencome up in your brain of what
instruments you're hearing, whatmood you want to convey?
(33:42):
How do you create the piece?
Or do you watch a video ofsomething and you can understand
where you want to bring thingsin and make things swell to a
forte or pianissimo?
How do you go about composing?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Well, you know, everybody's got a different
process and to qualify, I have alot of music on a lot of film
and video things, but I stilldon't consider myself a true
composer.
A friend of mine that is acollaborator and friend he,
that's all he does.
He's incredibly successful.
(34:17):
I'm an improvisational player,as a songwriter, but as a guitar
player, you know, and like Isaid, I went to.
I went to school for music butI wound up leaving because I
didn't like the academicapproach and it.
It was an ADHD thing that it wasjust really hard for me to wrap
my head around.
(34:37):
Like I can't read music.
I can read chord charts.
I know music theory.
I think it evolved out of thefact that I'm a very sensitive
musician and I understand,having worked in film, what the
story needs, because I would bethe one talking to a composer or
(34:59):
choosing from a music libraryto set the time.
So being able to create a map,sonic map that goes with the
story is very natural for me.
Yeah, I have the skills ofimprovisation.
I would be working with acomposer sometimes and this is
like a dear friend of mine for30 years like where it was, like
(35:21):
I was, like I was thinkingsomething like this and I would,
and he'd be like dude, weshould just record that.
That's beautiful.
I like just finding theemotional center of something
and seeing what I can offer, andfor me, I tend to do that
really well when it's got anintimacy and there's a lot of
(35:42):
space.
And that evolved into meplaying live at yoga events,
which I just did today.
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
That looks really fun .
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, so that's like an approach of my singer
songwriter world.
I don't like me playing in R&Bbands because sometimes I'm like
grooving, but a lot of it isjust creating this like
beautiful hypnotic that's basedin modern music.
You know I'm not going to getup there and do like Tibetan
chanting because it's not, yeah,not yeah yeah, it's not your
(36:14):
thing, but for the yoga class.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Would would the teacher say to you before, like
this is the intention for thisclass, right, so then you would
play absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
We map the class and in the beginning I would just do
it instrumentally but theneventually I would start singing
in the spaces and the responsewas unbelievable.
So, for instance, duringshavasana, I was playing this
instrumental motif around, I wasweaving really interesting
songs into, but at the end I didwas playing it instrumentally
(36:48):
and then started singing.
Let it be, which people didn'trealize I was playing.
Let it be.
They just thought it wassomething beautiful and they
were in their own space andjourney.
I've had people like, becauseit can be really emotional, like
especially when people go on aretreat and they're taking care
of themselves and they're maybein a place where they are like,
need self-care, and they'rediving on their own journey,
(37:12):
which usually involves pain.
I remember, like I did a bigone at Kripalu with Jillian
Pransky, who, who's a Montclairresident that you should seek
out because she's a very she's adefinitely, definitely renowned
in the United Statesbestselling author and yogi and
she does retreats all over.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Oh, that sounds really interesting.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
We're a student of Pema Chodron.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I love.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Pema Chodron she and I go back to before.
She was a yoga teacher.
We were friends in Hoboken, sothere's this beautiful history
there.
But at one of her retreats atKripalu, which is this beautiful
place up in, I love Kripalu.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I did a retreat there with Danny Shapiro, the writer,
nice.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
I don't know any of this.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, it's a stunning place and we were doing the big
room which is kind of like acathedral, and I ended I ended
with a just a trance likeversion of the John Hyatt song.
Have a little faith in me thatpeople like Adele have covered.
(38:22):
You know there was weeping.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Your work drive and your friendships and kindness.
That has something to do withthis understanding of pain and
brokenness and also hope at thesame time.
You know it's a good thing.
I think that I see in you.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
I might be being ridiculous, but I just feel that
that's so.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Let's just before.
We want to wrap up, and soon,but we want to make sure that
people understand that you doplay out locally a lot.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
You know I'm a musician who's a good guitar
player, so, and I love to playwith other people.
I'm a good songwriter, you know.
I uh, but at the same time Ijust didn't believe in my own
songs.
I just didn't like them anymore.
I was judging them, I wascringing at my old material.
I was not liking what I wasdoing.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Well, we've all been there.
You're not alone, of course.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Every artist does that.
I've come back to my oldmaterial in a really beautiful
way.
I play with other artists.
Like I said, I played thisamazing artist, Nepal Sanchez,
for the third time at Jazz Fest.
We played a few slots ahead ofNeil Young.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Wonderful Wow.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I do house concerts.
I play in an R&B band withstudio musicians.
That's pure joy.
That's great.
I like the eclecticism of itbecause all those flavors are
interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
But I'm investing a little bit more in my own work.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Well, we usually close by asking you.
We do close by asking you whatare some of the places that you
love in New Jersey?
And I see that you haveRuthie's shirt on and I actually
saw you play at Ruthie's once,because you did.
With your son, I believe wasthere.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, were you, were you there for that?
I was, I saw that.
Yeah, that one has gotten like akajillion views on that video.
Yeah, well, ruthie's is a greatexample that it was there.
For me it was.
It was a really great outletfor the kind of music I make and
I would play outdoors with theR&B band, which was like covers
(40:37):
but like felt like you stumbledinto a bar in New Orleans.
But then when I do the indoorshows in the winter I would turn
it into like a living room andplay my material and I'm really
grateful to Ruthie's becausethey kept there was a place for
me to do what I do and have itbe really appreciated.
But places that I like in NewJersey.
(40:59):
I want to tell people inMontclair because people come
from elsewhere in New Jersey andthen they go I could live in
Montclair.
I can't live in New Jersey, butI can live in Montclair.
I want to tell them, like,drive 10 minutes down the road
to Patterson and go to theLebanese markets we live within
(41:19):
like reach of so much diversityand authenticity.
Use your curiosity there, go tothe falls, go eat Cuban food in
Union City.
Go to the falls, go eat Cubanfood in Union City, take a drive
west to Hunterdon County or youknow there's just a lot of
uniqueness and I still loveexploring that.
(41:39):
I mean Anthony Bourdain, aJersey guy.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Was he?
Speaker 2 (41:43):
I didn't know that From Leonia, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Fort Lee.
So he was similar to me thatlike he's a lot older, was a lot
older than me, but you know,you know, to me he validates a
lot of the feelings that I had.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
growing up was just like this curiosity, this
passion, this dysfunction,brutal honesty, that we kind of
come with this fuck youmentality for things that you
don't really, uh, appreciate.
I still mourn his loss.
I'll tell you, yeah, he was oneunique human.
Yeah, and and even though hewas a man of the world like when
I see him, he looks like jerseyguys I grew up with yeah, yeah,
that's great Once that I careto still be around.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Yeah, I think this has been a fantastic episode.
I really enjoy talking to youand hearing your story, and we
will have to come to a yogaclass.
We first have to get to a yogaclass, then we have to get to
yoga class that you might happento be you know playing at.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Those are usually like special events, but I'll
let you know yeah let us know.
And I really appreciate youtaking interest in my work and
for the kind things you saidabout about me, jeanette.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Yeah, you're welcome.
It's been a pleasure to knowyou, and Rachel now knows you
and I know you much better.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Thank you, scott.
Have a good day, bye-bye.
This podcast is produced byRachel Martens and Jeanette
Afsharian.
Please follow us on Facebookand Instagram.
We hope you share this pod withyour friends and family and let
us know what you think.
Check out our website atlostinjerseysite and don't
(43:31):
forget to get lost.
Hi Jeanette, hello Rachel.
We have an interview today withScott Moore, who is a native
New Jerseyan.
He's from Northern New Jerseyand he joined us today to tell
us about his background growingup in Rutherford, and how he
ended up moving to New York Cityand working for MTV and VH1,
(00:21):
and his music career and toucheson his very fascinating
personal family background.
I hope you enjoy this interview.
Well, thank you so much, scott,for coming on.
I have known you through socialmedia mainly.
I've watched your posts andI've always really enjoyed all
the things that you post in yourlife and your story.
(00:43):
You're kind of one of thosepeople on social media that you
watch and you think their lifeis really interesting.
You know, and I kind of waslike I want to reach out to him,
but I have met you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I remember through your sister, initially when she
was creating that little mediagathering.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
That's right, it was my sister's first kickoff of the
media, montclair Media Alliance, which actually was a big
success, but it was hard to keepputting those on.
There's a lot of work involvedin doing those, so but yeah, I
remember meeting you there andkind of following you ever since
.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I used to do the story salon, the Montclair story
salon with Liz for a while.
Yes, liz, samuel, and the lastone, I was at you were there.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I did two recently.
One I was playing guitar forStacia Thiel.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And then one was the Literary Festival, right, the
Lit Festival.
Yep yeah, it's great.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
And I know Stacia very well from those.
She's an incredible musician.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah as well.
She's a great friend and wecollaborate a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I don't know if you saw the bio, but I record.
Yeah, that's so cool.
Just to introduce people to you, is that you're a musician,
clearly from your backgroundthere with the guitars that you
have in the back.
You're also a film producer, avideo producer, an editor, is
that right?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I edit, but I don't call myself an editor.
I'm more of a producer,director and film in the sense
like I don't do theatricalrelease stuff, but I've made
documentary films for television.
I made my own web series.
I worked in television fordecades at a lot of networks
yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I'd love to hear that .
So tell us what we we like toask people their backstory so
where are you from?
And then take us through yourjourney.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I was under the impression when I first read
about this podcast.
First of all, that's reallycool that you're doing it,
because my understanding is thatyou're both not from here, but
you're embracing it in a way bydoing this, because New Jersey
is a place that either peoplelove or hate, and then across
(02:55):
that there's a ton of people whojust misunderstand it, or it
takes a while and then they fallin love with it.
For me, it's like my DNA, mybloodline.
My mom grew up in New Jersey.
I grew up in Rutherford.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
It's seven miles from midtown Manhattan.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, rutherford is a great town that every time I go
there a lot is going on hereespecially food.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It's exploding, yeah, the restaurants floating.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It's interesting that you bring that up because it
always was a nice town.
My mom grew up in a nearby townthat that she aspired to live
in Rutherford one day.
So that was a dream for her andshe made it happen because
Rutherford had a little bit of acachet.
It never had quite the wealthand diversity that Montclair had
In that little nook of SouthernBergen County.
(03:48):
It had old homes, it had aninteresting history, you know.
It had a pretty working classelement to it when I was there,
which I'm very grateful to havegrown up with.
I really still relatevalue-wise to so many of the
people I grew up with there andso many of them stayed.
So I recently had my 40th highschool reunion.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wow, I know, in the past we could not even ever
imagine.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Aging is a privilege.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
It is.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It's true.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
It's true, because the alternative isn't great.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It was refreshing and it was so nice to reconnect and
it was so nice to see how thetown has maintained so much of
his heart and yet evolved insome really nice ways.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Well, what I find interesting is that, diving back
into your journey out ofRutherford and then coming back,
I think we can circle backaround about.
I know you went off and went toNew York City after college and
worked for MTV for a while,Like you got an internship there
because you had to get a jobright Based on what I read of
your bio and it's interestingabout that journey, I'm curious
(05:05):
about that.
And then circling back to thehumility that you get as life
goes on, Cause I'm sure therewas a stage of your life You're
kind of like I'm crushing it.
I'm kind of big time now.
I'm like I'm with MTV and youdisconnect to your roots a
little, a little, cause you'removing.
Did that ever happen to you?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes and no.
Well, first of all, you wereasking I do a lot of different
things and it's always like alittle bit of a challenging
thing to cause.
People don't always get it.
The truth of my, my journey isI just follow my curiosity as a
human being.
I have a lot of that, you know.
I have a decent amount oftalent, I have good social
(05:43):
skills.
But to me it's like when Itravel or when I look at music
or art or mostly other humanbeings, kind of like what you're
doing with this you'refollowing your curiosity to talk
to other human beings abouttheir journeys.
Talk to other human beingsabout their journeys.
(06:07):
So to me, as a writer, as amusician and then ultimately
working in film and TV, that'salways been my, my draw and to
me it's not much different, themedium that I do it in, other
than the skills that you need todo it in that medium.
The truth of the matter is isthat my parents couldn't afford
to support me, and they werealso came from an era like, all
(06:29):
right, you paid for college, youwent like you can make music
all you want, but you need a job, you need to contribute to the
household, which because Iluckily also.
I think I need to point outthere are so many famous and
accomplished people from NewJersey, especially Northern New
Jersey.
I mean, the list is ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
It's not trouble to talk about this.
I've heard James Gandolfinitalk about this, other people,
richard Lewis, it you know,because we didn't have to get on
a Greyhound bus to go to Oz.
You know of this place thatpeople dream to dream to, like
(07:10):
New York or LA are those kindsof places to go.
Try to make something happen.
We got on a bus and in 15minutes we could do it.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
And you saw it was possible and you could still
live at home.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, exactly, so there's a financial component to
that, a huge and a whole senseof this is attainable.
Right, you know, even if we'redeluded in our own skills, you
know you feel like, hey, I coulddo this.
Yeah, you know, travolta's dadowned the tire shop in Westwood
and he would get on the bus andgo to auditions in Westwood.
(07:46):
And he would get on the bus andgo to auditions.
But, yeah, so I was in.
I was in college in EasternPennsylvania and we had like a
trimester kind of thing whereyou could take a couple of
classes or do an internship inthe winter and it's a, it's it's
all.
Pre cell phones, pre everything, I, we, we would sit around
watching and we were the MTVgeneration.
Yeah, yeah, I was.
(08:08):
It is the best generation.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yeah, we are the best yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I'm like I bleed Gen X yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
We were saying we're going to do an episode.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
We have to do a Gen X episode.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Gen X is the best Is the best Gen, it's the best.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Gen.
And here's another fun fact Iwas childhood friends, although
we lived in new york, withanthony michael hall ah, the
practice club, yeah uh, kind ofa face of gen x.
But so here we are, like in my,in my you know, dude house in
college that just should havebeen fumigated every week and we
(08:47):
had a phone on the wall and wewatch MTV and I was like I'm
gonna get an internship.
I was a journalism major at thetime.
I went to study music, but Ididn't really like the academic
approach to music, so which didjournalism Anyway?
So the funny thing is I pickedup the phone and I dialed 411
(09:09):
for all out there.
That was the closest thing wehad to google.
Um, and I remember the thereally funny part.
Am I allowed to curse on thispodcast?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
yeah, yeah because, we're gen xers, we it's, it's
all part of our language.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
It's like it's the local dialect.
Um so anyway, it was fuckinghysterical because I dialed 411
and said I'm like can I have thenumber for MTV in New York?
And the operator said can youspell that?
Wow, I just paused and said itknow oh my god.
(09:49):
And the interesting thing is isthat I got a general number and
then I said I was looking for aninternship uh, in tv shows, or
you know.
They sent me right through tothe executive assistant, to Doug
Herzog.
Wow, the very influential.
He wound up running MTV,running Comedy Central.
(10:12):
He is a Jersey guy himself.
I don't even know Doug thatwell, even though I worked for
him.
He was like way above.
But there are a lot ofMontclair people who were very
tight with Doug, his executiveassistant.
I spoke to her, I sent myresume right after that, which I
(10:34):
really tried to be charmingwith, and they hired me.
I'm still friends with theperson who hired me.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
It's such a good story with the person who hired
me.
It's such a good story.
I did.
You know Adam Curry, the MTV BJ.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I didn't know him well, but I lived in Verona, I
think Well.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I ended up working for him at some point when he
left he.
He has a really funny storybecause I worked in the during
thecom boom and then bust.
But he, he had registered.
He was like a techie too, so hehad registered MTV dot com, but
(11:13):
in his own name.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Nobody sold that shit for a lot of money.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Oh, he did.
And then he invested it intohis own dot com company and
that's when he hired me andthat's I worked for him for a
bit for his other company.
It was like oh my gosh, you'remy mtv vj.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
That's crazy I didn't work a lot with the mtv vjs.
I was working in news and andwhat they called long form
programming, which were tvspecials at the time and I moved
over to MTV News.
It was kind of obnoxiousbecause there were really
well-established, brilliantpeople there and I was like 20
(11:52):
years old.
But then one of the writersthat had been there a long time
got a sabbatical to go write abook and they needed to fill the
slot.
So I kind of they looked aroundand they're like go ahead.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
He wants to do it Nice.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It was yeah.
So Kurt Loder was there and Idon't know if you, if you guys,
remember John Norris.
John Norris was a VJ for awhile and a host.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I totally did,but at that time he wasn't on
camera, he was just a writer andI think I annoyed everybody by
being there because I wasn'tquite qualified, but won them
(12:35):
over eventually.
That was a baptism by fire,because MTV News was a small
team that was cranking out stuffwas a small team that was
cranking out stuff.
I remember who came right afterme and I helped her learn the
computer system and she's awonderful journalist.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
So Tabitha Sorin, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
She interned right after me and Alison Stewart.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yep, who's on?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
who does all of it now, all of it, yeah, and is
from Glen Ridge Ridge, yeah, sothere was just like amazing
people and I always feel like itwas like rock and roll media,
grad school, like where we were.
We are all kindred spirits,wasn't like it wasn't
inappropriate.
We're just like this hugefriend group, just kind of uh,
(13:30):
in your twenties you partiedtogether.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
You did everything together.
It was sort of like your.
There was no work-life balancebecause it was work-life
together.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah that's true, and , and from a Viacom standpoint,
there was no work-life balanceCause I always said if I got
paid overtime, I would haveretired at 30.
Of course it was just not.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
It was constant yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
We loved what we did.
Yeah, the stories are amazing.
I met my wife at VH1.
That's awesome.
So I wound up moving to VH1 andhad a really good mentor there
named Eamon Harrington, who'salso a Jersey guy but has been
in LA forever, who just gave mea chance.
We started making these littlemusic documentaries.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Behind the music the VH1 behind the music.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
This was before behind the music and what
evolved into behind the music.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Okay, because those are awesome, they were.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I can't take credit for Behind the Music but I can
take credit for I think theywere called VH121s at the time.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah, and then laying the groundwork for Behind the
Music.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
And the first one that got a lot of attention was
my first one that I was doingand they said you should just do
your own.
And I was like I was like, sure, like, but not super confident
that I could, but the interviewhad already been recorded and
they're like we want you to makea show out of this.
And it was with somebody that,ironically, a lot of people,
(15:01):
unless they were older than me,knew, but a lot of people who
are my age didn't know.
But as a music junkie, I did,and it was Bonnie Raitt, who is
still a total hero of mine.
I just saw her and played thesame music festival in New
Orleans last month, anyway, soshe had come out with this
(15:21):
record.
Now a lot of people don'trealize that Bonnie Raitt was
just like an artist that everyother musician loved but did not
have critical acclaim.
She was playing bars and shewas like a critic's darling.
She was a true blue artist butdidn't have the success of her
friends James Taylor, jacksonBrown, springsteen, other people
(15:45):
who were huge fans of hers.
Then she came out with in 1989,the Nick of Time album and that
was the special that I did.
So all of a sudden, she thanksVH1 at the Grammys.
And she where she cleaned up.
All of a sudden, all the recordcompanies wanted to do these
(16:06):
specials on on artists and theywere collaborating with us and
helping contribute financially.
Oh, that's awesome.
And and they were taking myshows and because we were, we
were scaling up and bringingother producers and saying, make
it like this, make it like this.
So I won this, really showingmy age.
I won because back then, thecable networks, including HBO,
(16:31):
were not qualified for Right.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
This was the age.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now, and you also have to realize, I'm 24 years
old.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
It's amazing how much you accomplished by 24.
That's so crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I mean I look back.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
What a ride.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Think about.
I didn't know what the fuck Iwas doing, but I did enough to
do it and I was always trying topush myself to learn and I was,
I guess, cocky enough to pullit off, but yet not so cocky
that I took for granted whatpeople who knew more than me
know.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, that is a fine balance and it's a good thing to
know.
Though, you have to have enoughconfidence to say I can figure
it out.
You know I'm going to take thisand I'm going to run with it
and not shy away from doing it,and that you wouldn't decline
the offer to do it, but alsoknow that you can learn from
someone if you need to figuresomething out and you don't
(17:29):
really know it Exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
And the curiosity thing.
That's what it comes down to.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, that's the thing is that I wanted to touch
on a little is that I've beenreading, listening to a book
about the anxious generationthat Rachel and I are supposed
to be listening to, but it'sabout-.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Which generation is that?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It's this generation, it's our kids, the kids that-.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I was gonna say yeah, this generation about.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
It has to do with raising a child to have a
discovery type of mind, and soit was just piquing my interest
about.
We had talked a little bitabout talking about your
childhood.
The fact that you were able tomake that 411 call okay kind of
sets you apart and I think itset the ball rolling about
(18:13):
somebody who has enoughconfidence to know that they can
figure out the next step.
If they can get to that, youknow, and then it seems to have
carried you through.
You know you set yourself upconstantly to discover and allow
yourself to the next level,that confidence.
I know that we we said that wewanted to talk about your
(18:35):
childhood, your, your familylife a little bit.
I'm wondering how that mighthave had effect on you.
I.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I you know I haven't explored this in therapy, so let
me think here we are thebroadcast therapy.
This is cheaper.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yes, it's free.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I grew up.
Let me see how I can do theReader's Diet.
My mom was a very street, smart, scrappy Jersey woman, first
generation Italian family on herfather's side, but grew up in a
very Italian culture, ItalianAmerican culture, you know like
and, to be honest, likeRutherford, Montclair and all
(19:18):
those towns as you get closer tothe city.
I mean, when the Sopranos cameout, it was like validating all
of us, not like the stereotype,but just the attitude and the
vibe and the way people talk andthe relationships and the other
parts of our culture which alot of us are really proud of.
My mom came from that world andmy dad was like an academia and
(19:44):
a little more upper class and Ithink my mom always aspired to
get out of the world that shegrew up in.
So she got married, couldn'thave kids this is pre-in vitro.
They couldn't conceive and mymom, being a liberal go-getter
(20:05):
and my dad, being veryconservative, was really she
convinced him to adopt twoNative American children.
They were adopted pretty late,five and two, and had a very
challenging life that they werecoming from, and then, like a
year later, they got pregnant,which happens a lot.
It does.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Right Later find out the role that stress plays in
fertility.
I was the accident miracle,depending on who you ask.
And then fast forward three anda half years.
There was a friend group thatmy mom and dad were very much
(20:46):
entrenched in with my dad'sco-workers and they just had a
great social life and bowlingand cocktails and all and uh, my
mother fell in love with awoman in that friend group and
it she wanted to kill herself.
She didn't, she was notself-aware it was a time that
(21:07):
you it wasn't the time of theculture and it was a little bit
my mom, because she's she's goodat like staying on her course,
um, but yeah, definitely at thattime, especially growing up
devout catholic yeah, yeah verymachismo world, uh where, and
also an italian culture wherelike not very, not very
(21:30):
progressive at least.
So there's a whole thing thatgoes with that.
But basically I grew up withtwo moms in somewhat working
class New Jersey, kind of underthe radar.
It wasn't like we denied it,but it certainly wasn't talked
about.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So this is all through your high school, all
through school.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Three and a half till now.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Was it hard for you on a daily basis?
Yeah, I mean outside of thehouse.
It must have felt differentthan when you were in your house
.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I mean you really get into denial mode.
And it was easy to be in denialmode because my parents when I
say my parents now, I mean mymom, jan, and Emily, her partner
, who I consider my mother nowat that time it was like Auntie
Em.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Literally everyone called her Auntie Em, you know,
kind of fitting metaphor becauseit was kind of like living in
Oz, not as much song and dance.
So once you start becomingaware of what's going on, it was
comfortable for me to go alongwith the denial and the not
talking about it, becausetalking about it would have been
(22:44):
we didn't have the word cringythen, which is so popular now
amongst the kids, but it wouldhave been excruciating for me.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, It'd be crunchy .
Did you feel that at school,when there'd be asking for
things with your father involved, and that that you always just
kind of skated past it?
Speaker 2 (23:03):
We're a lot of broken homes, so that was easy.
Getting past it.
We're a lot of broken homes, sothat was easy.
We just went on with our lives.
Emily came to my baseball games.
She was a huge baseball fan andI was a really good baseball
player up until I was like 13.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
You know, people liked her.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah right, they were not standing on a soapbox and
they particularly didn't talkabout it because they were
really worried at that time ofhaving us taken away from them.
I understand that time couldhave, you know, like child
protection services my fatherbeing super conservative, white
bread, you know he kind of like.
(23:41):
Once the divorce happened, hewas understandably devastated
but went on with his life.
I have very little to do withhim, he had moved.
Another part of why they hadsplit up is because his job
moved him to North Carolina,worked in the fabric industry
(24:03):
and it was a great opportunitybecause he was, you know,
successful industry, and it wasa great opportunity because he
was, you know, successful.
But my mother went.
This is when I was really tiny,being in the South in the late
60s, and she was doing civilrights marches here.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
She was not comfortable, did not fit in.
Yeah, did not fit in.
Yeah, did not fit in, so it waslike oh, and you blend, right.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, you know what about your siblings.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
How were they um?
How did they handle it?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
it was the same as you no, we all have our
different experience and youhave to remember, because they
were older, they were much moreaware of what was going on yeah,
we had much more of arelationship with our dad.
And also they came with a lotof baggage the culture, the
socioeconomic depression, thepoverty, the addiction all comes
(25:01):
with them.
Yeah, and at five and two andbeing taken from their parents
and put in foster and abused infoster all this incredible
information and journalism beingdone around that globally, but
particularly Canada and theUnited States.
But it even happened in, likeAustralia and New Zealand, with
(25:27):
the Maori.
They had their own stuff todeal with and I think in some
ways it was harder for thembecause of whatever baggage they
came with, but also becausethey mourned that family unit
pulled apart and I didn't reallyremember I still hardly any
(25:51):
memories of living with my dad.
I mourn the loss of not havinga father in my life.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
And I talk about this thing.
Yesterday was Father's Day.
I always do a post for the menof the world who step up and be
present for a kid who didn'thave a father around.
That's not to diminish the rolethat my lesbian parents played.
I mean they.
(26:18):
They did an incredible job withwhat they had, but there were
some friends of the family thatshowed up for me in ways that I
really needed.
My brother and sister have hadvery challenging lives.
I don't want to judge them inany way.
They're good people.
My brother, being the eldest,wound up going back to the
(26:40):
reservation because he feltthat's where he belonged.
After retirement he left homeat like 16, lived in New York
City and became a prettysignificant addict and then
cleaned himself up.
I mean, he was there in thereal 70s Studio 54 days.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah, he did it up.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
And he you know.
Both of his parents wereaddicts.
His mother drank the entirepregnancy, so he's a miracle
that he's alive.
He lives in South Dakota.
He's 65 years old.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
That is a miracle, that's a success.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
And he is clean and sober, which is beautiful.
My sister lives in StatenIsland, has a lot of health
issues, works as a substituteteacher in elementary schools
centers and they've had reallyrough, challenging lives.
A lot of us think like theymight not have been here now if
(27:43):
they hadn't been adopted,because the lifespan on an
Indian reservation is in thelike high 50s Right and they're
the like high 50s Right andthey're both in their 60s, so
it's a very complicated thing.
I still have relationships withthem, but we're not super close
.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
What I was thinking is that you know your childhood
has a lot of color and different.
You know variations, that yourparents, they were able to give
you a unique background, andthat things can be different.
You don't have to live or dolife the standard way, and the
fact that you were talking abouthow you kind of had this way of
(28:23):
not telling anybody or just andjust moving forward with your
life is just, it's aninteresting thing.
But yet there's so much depthbehind this incredibly fun
character of a life.
You know there's this and I Iwould just say that because I
know now you have turned youplay music a lot.
(28:44):
That's mainly your main passionand life is playing music and
from what I know and what I'veresearched on your music is it's
very soulful, kind, loving, andit has this.
It almost like it's a.
It's your persona that I knowof you.
Like your, your, your personalpersona is someone of caring and
(29:05):
kindness and love and trying tohelp others in different ways,
and I think that it's somehowthat backstory of yours, you
know.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I mean, that's what I say to people.
It was a weird upbringing, butthose values that you're talking
about were instilled in me bymy, by my parents, and when I
say my parents, I mean Jan andEmily.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
I feel like you understand the suffering of
people in some weird.
It's like you understand thatpeople can be, on the face value
, really exciting and dynamic,but behind you understand that
there's depth and pain ineveryone.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Well, that's really sweet and insightful and I do do
mindfully try to practice that.
You know it's so weird.
It's like you see a meme likeyears ago.
You see a meme before memeswere a thing and all of a sudden
you feel like oh yeah, and, andnow they're a cliche.
But I remember seeing, like 15years ago, like everybody's
(30:03):
going through something that youknow nothing about yeah exactly
.
I was a kid going throughsomething that people knew
nothing about and, as humanbeings on the earth we all are,
culturally, sociologically theworld wasn't ready for those
conversations.
How do you feel?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
about today.
How do you feel about today?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Well, let me fast forward for you.
1998, my parents sell the housein Rutherford and of course a
lot of people knew they were gay.
Um, and they moved to OceanGrove, new Jersey, um, and
bought a multi-family so thatthey could have income because
they were antique dealers.
They had no, you know that'scool I love.
That antique dealing is likesocially acceptable hoarding um,
(30:50):
and I got some of these.
I fight it every day.
But still they moved to OceanGrove, which is right on the
border of Asbury Park, for thosewho don't know, and even though
its history as a religious town, the gay community was starting
to kind of take hold, myparents wound up becoming like
very big players in the marriageequality movement of New Jersey
(31:13):
, so much so that a documentarywas made about them that
propelled them even further.
For instance, a few years agoDonald Trump was in office and
you know, and they were kind oflike handpicking far right
people for the Supreme Court andAmy Coney Barrett was there.
(31:35):
Cory Booker put up this was onC-SPAN, she's interviewing her
put up a huge picture of myparents and said these are my
friends and they were able toget married 48 years into their
relationship.
Are you going to tell them theyraised a beautiful family?
Are you going to tell them thatthey can't be married anymore?
Of course she dodged thequestion.
(31:56):
My stepmom, Emily, passed awaythree years ago about a week ago
it was three years and my mom,jan, is still out there, 87,
going to the piano bar havingcocktails, going up at the
governor's mansion to speakabout equality for seniors,
(32:21):
which is another frontier,because that generation still
holds on to their stigma andit's a difficult for a lot of
elder gay people to be acceptedinto assisted living and things
like that.
So what's nice is thateverything became out and the
world kind of caught up to ourlife.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
There's always being pushed back and there's always,
you know, potential for, youknow, backstepping.
Of course this happens, but Iit's.
It's.
It's heartening to say thatthey did get to see the progress
.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Yes, you know there has been so much progress in
that area and they got to be apart of it, lead it and also get
the rewards from it, so thatthat is wonderful.
I wanted to get to ask you aquestion before, because I know
we're going long, but about yourcomposing, because I'm a
musician.
I play violin for a long timeand I was looking at the
(33:19):
compositions you have on yoursite and I'm always curious,
when I meet people who composepieces, if they watch what
they're given first and thenthen like how does that happen
for you?
Do you read treatment and thencome up in your brain of what
instruments you're hearing, whatmood you want to convey?
(33:42):
How do you create the piece?
Or do you watch a video ofsomething and you can understand
where you want to bring thingsin and make things swell to a
forte or pianissimo?
How do you go about composing?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Well, you know, everybody's got a different
process and to qualify, I have alot of music on a lot of film
and video things, but I stilldon't consider myself a true
composer.
A friend of mine that is acollaborator and friend he,
that's all he does.
He's incredibly successful.
(34:17):
I'm an improvisational player,as a songwriter, but as a guitar
player, you know, and like Isaid, I went to.
I went to school for music butI wound up leaving because I
didn't like the academicapproach and it.
It was an ADHD thing that it wasjust really hard for me to wrap
my head around.
(34:37):
Like I can't read music.
I can read chord charts.
I know music theory.
I think it evolved out of thefact that I'm a very sensitive
musician and I understand,having worked in film, what the
story needs, because I would bethe one talking to a composer or
(34:59):
choosing from a music libraryto set the time.
So being able to create a map,sonic map that goes with the
story is very natural for me.
Yeah, I have the skills ofimprovisation.
I would be working with acomposer sometimes and this is
like a dear friend of mine for30 years like where it was, like
(35:21):
I was, like I was thinkingsomething like this and I would,
and he'd be like dude, weshould just record that.
That's beautiful.
I like just finding theemotional center of something
and seeing what I can offer, andfor me, I tend to do that
really well when it's got anintimacy and there's a lot of
(35:42):
space.
And that evolved into meplaying live at yoga events,
which I just did today.
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
That looks really fun .
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, so that's like an approach of my singer
songwriter world.
I don't like me playing in R&Bbands because sometimes I'm like
grooving, but a lot of it isjust creating this like
beautiful hypnotic that's basedin modern music.
You know I'm not going to getup there and do like Tibetan
chanting because it's not, yeah,not yeah yeah, it's not your
(36:14):
thing, but for the yoga class.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Would would the teacher say to you before, like
this is the intention for thisclass, right, so then you would
play absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
We map the class and in the beginning I would just do
it instrumentally but theneventually I would start singing
in the spaces and the responsewas unbelievable.
So, for instance, duringshavasana, I was playing this
instrumental motif around, I wasweaving really interesting
songs into, but at the end I didwas playing it instrumentally
(36:48):
and then started singing.
Let it be, which people didn'trealize I was playing.
Let it be.
They just thought it wassomething beautiful and they
were in their own space andjourney.
I've had people like, becauseit can be really emotional, like
especially when people go on aretreat and they're taking care
of themselves and they're maybein a place where they are like,
need self-care, and they'rediving on their own journey,
(37:12):
which usually involves pain.
I remember, like I did a bigone at Kripalu with Jillian
Pransky, who, who's a Montclairresident that you should seek
out because she's a very she's adefinitely, definitely renowned
in the United Statesbestselling author and yogi and
she does retreats all over.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Oh, that sounds really interesting.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
We're a student of Pema Chodron.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I love.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Pema Chodron she and I go back to before.
She was a yoga teacher.
We were friends in Hoboken, sothere's this beautiful history
there.
But at one of her retreats atKripalu, which is this beautiful
place up in, I love Kripalu.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I did a retreat there with Danny Shapiro, the writer,
nice.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
I don't know any of this.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, it's a stunning place and we were doing the big
room which is kind of like acathedral, and I ended I ended
with a just a trance likeversion of the John Hyatt song.
Have a little faith in me thatpeople like Adele have covered.
(38:22):
You know there was weeping.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Your work drive and your friendships and kindness.
That has something to do withthis understanding of pain and
brokenness and also hope at thesame time.
You know it's a good thing.
I think that I see in you.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
I might be being ridiculous, but I just feel that
that's so.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Let's just before.
We want to wrap up, and soon,but we want to make sure that
people understand that you doplay out locally a lot.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
You know I'm a musician who's a good guitar
player, so, and I love to playwith other people.
I'm a good songwriter, you know.
I uh, but at the same time Ijust didn't believe in my own
songs.
I just didn't like them anymore.
I was judging them, I wascringing at my old material.
I was not liking what I wasdoing.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Well, we've all been there.
You're not alone, of course.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Every artist does that.
I've come back to my oldmaterial in a really beautiful
way.
I play with other artists.
Like I said, I played thisamazing artist, Nepal Sanchez,
for the third time at Jazz Fest.
We played a few slots ahead ofNeil Young.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Wonderful Wow.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I do house concerts.
I play in an R&B band withstudio musicians.
That's pure joy.
That's great.
I like the eclecticism of itbecause all those flavors are
interesting to me.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
But I'm investing a little bit more in my own work.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Well, we usually close by asking you.
We do close by asking you whatare some of the places that you
love in New Jersey?
And I see that you haveRuthie's shirt on and I actually
saw you play at Ruthie's once,because you did.
With your son, I believe wasthere.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Yeah, were you, were you there for that?
I was, I saw that.
Yeah, that one has gotten like akajillion views on that video.
Yeah, well, ruthie's is a greatexample that it was there.
For me it was.
It was a really great outletfor the kind of music I make and
I would play outdoors with theR&B band, which was like covers
(40:37):
but like felt like you stumbledinto a bar in New Orleans.
But then when I do the indoorshows in the winter I would turn
it into like a living room andplay my material and I'm really
grateful to Ruthie's becausethey kept there was a place for
me to do what I do and have itbe really appreciated.
But places that I like in NewJersey.
(40:59):
I want to tell people inMontclair because people come
from elsewhere in New Jersey andthen they go I could live in
Montclair.
I can't live in New Jersey, butI can live in Montclair.
I want to tell them, like,drive 10 minutes down the road
to Patterson and go to theLebanese markets we live within
(41:19):
like reach of so much diversityand authenticity.
Use your curiosity there, go tothe falls, go eat Cuban food in
Union City.
Go to the falls, go eat Cubanfood in Union City, take a drive
west to Hunterdon County or youknow there's just a lot of
uniqueness and I still loveexploring that.
(41:39):
I mean Anthony Bourdain, aJersey guy.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Was he?
Speaker 2 (41:43):
I didn't know that From Leonia, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Fort Lee.
So he was similar to me thatlike he's a lot older, was a lot
older than me, but you know,you know, to me he validates a
lot of the feelings that I had.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
growing up was just like this curiosity, this
passion, this dysfunction,brutal honesty, that we kind of
come with this fuck youmentality for things that you
don't really, uh, appreciate.
I still mourn his loss.
I'll tell you, yeah, he was oneunique human.
Yeah, and and even though hewas a man of the world like when
I see him, he looks like jerseyguys I grew up with yeah, yeah,
that's great Once that I careto still be around.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Yeah, I think this has been a fantastic episode.
I really enjoy talking to youand hearing your story, and we
will have to come to a yogaclass.
We first have to get to a yogaclass, then we have to get to
yoga class that you might happento be you know playing at.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Those are usually like special events, but I'll
let you know yeah let us know.
And I really appreciate youtaking interest in my work and
for the kind things you saidabout about me, jeanette.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Yeah, you're welcome.
It's been a pleasure to knowyou, and Rachel now knows you
and I know you much better.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Thank you, scott.
Have a good day, bye-bye.
This podcast is produced byRachel Martens and Jeanette
Afsharian.
Please follow us on Facebookand Instagram.
We hope you share this pod withyour friends and family and let
us know what you think.
Check out our website atlostinjerseysite and don't
(43:31):
forget to get lost.
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