December 9, 2025 • 33 mins
In this episode, we discuss the Biblical grounds for divorce.
We open Scripture to explore when divorce is biblically permitted and how God’s heart aims to protect people, not trap them in harm. We unpack adultery, abandonment, and abuse with care, then point to humility, repentance, and real-world steps toward safety, healing, and peace.
• scriptural grounds for divorce: adultery, abandonment, abuse
• Jesus’ correction of casual divorce in Matthew 19
• heart-level adultery and emotional affairs
• trust, identity, and the cost of betrayal
• modern abandonment: addiction, apathy, hardened refusal to repent
• naming abuse across physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual, and financial forms
• humility as a pathway to repair or release
• hope for restoration and the call to pursue peace
• prayer for strong, faithful, Christ-centered marriages
Biblical Scriptures mentioned in this episode:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kyle Almodovar (00:00):
This week we're getting into scripture around
divorce.
It is a stigma for Christiancouples to get divorced.
They're kind of misused, Ithink.
Selina Almodovar (00:07):
I thought I was everything you needed.
Why did you leave?
Kyle Almodovar (00:09):
I think these are the kind of reasons why it's
God hates divorce.
Selina Almodovar (00:12):
We're not perfect people.
By any means.
But by trusting in God, welearned what it takes to build a
friendship, a relationship, andmarriage that has stood the test
of time.
Kyle Almodovar (00:24):
With a keeping it real style, we're gonna talk
to you about everything thatwe've been through, are going
through, and have overcome allby learning how to lean on God
and each other.
Selina Almodovar (00:37):
In order to help you learn how to love by
faith.
Kyle Almodovar (00:54):
We do something where we always ask, what was
the highlight of your day?
And yesterday, I didn't get toask you what the highlight of
your day was.
Selina Almodovar (01:00):
Yesterday?
Kyle Almodovar (01:01):
Yeah, yesterday.
Selina Almodovar (01:02):
Yesterday I took a full day off.
Kyle Almodovar (01:03):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (01:04):
I needed it.
Going from Thanksgiving toeverything, and then like
leading up to everything else.
Like going from everythingleading up to everything else.
SPEAKER_04 (01:16):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (01:17):
I needed a day off.
And so the highlight of my daywas I tried to take a nap and I
I didn't need a nap as much as Ithought I did.
So I was like, oh, it kind ofrevealed to me like I'm not
physically tired, I'm justmentally tired.
What was the highlight of yourday?
Kyle Almodovar (01:34):
The highlight of my day yesterday.
Selina Almodovar (01:36):
Abbott day.
Because we watch Abbott onWednesdays.
Kyle Almodovar (01:40):
That was cool.
The highlight of my day.
Selina Almodovar (01:43):
Seeing Mark Anthony perform.
Kyle Almodovar (01:44):
No, Mark Anthony did did well.
Selina Almodovar (01:46):
Did his thing.
Kyle Almodovar (01:47):
But uh I'm gonna go with the highlight of my day
was I had a morning discussionwith one of my guys that I
talked to, and we had a reallygood talk, and that was the
highlight of my day.
Selina Almodovar (02:00):
That's great.
Somebody from work?
Kyle Almodovar (02:01):
Uh from the inner circle.
Yeah.
We're able to have a really goodmoment together and talk and
just hear each other in a greatway.
Selina Almodovar (02:10):
That's great.
Kyle Almodovar (02:10):
So that was good.
Good good man time in themorning was that's answered
prayers on the way to work.
Selina Almodovar (02:14):
It was good.
For you to to have men friendsand for the men of the church to
grow together and closertogether.
That's always a bit of prayer.
Kyle Almodovar (02:22):
It was definitely a time of fellowship.
Selina Almodovar (02:23):
Amen.
That was good.
Kyle Almodovar (02:25):
It was good.
Selina Almodovar (02:25):
Well, welcome to Love by Faith.
We're your hosts, Selena andKyle Almodovar here, and we are
smack dab in the middle ofDecember.
Deep Christmas.
But also we're going through apretty serious topic, which is
defeating divorce.
So if you listen to our lastepisode last week, we talked all
about why we think Christiancouples get divorced.
(02:46):
Make sure you tune into that ifyou haven't already.
And if you're back to join us,then welcome back.
We're so glad to have you.
We're gonna keep this discussiongoing.
Kyle, what are we talking abouttoday?
Kyle Almodovar (02:55):
This week, we're getting into scripture around
divorce.
Yes.
Scriptural reasons for divorce,yes.
What they mean, what they don'tmean, and and how they're
they're kind of misused, Ithink.
Sometimes are they looking at itwhen we're doing our homework
and getting ready for thisepisode?
Okay.
I I look at uh God hatesdivorce, right?
(03:15):
Yeah, yes, God hates divorce,yeah.
God hates people being in amistreated situation, yeah, God
hates his seeing his peoplehurt, God hates breaking
promises, God hates lying.
Yes, all of those things.
Yes, and all those thingscompound in the in a and can
compound to lead to divorce.
Yes, right?
And I think this is a reallysensitive topic, right?
(03:36):
Yeah, divorce and relating itback to scripture because it's
been so weaponized both ways.
Like weaponized for like I'mgetting a divorce because of
this, this, and this scripturalground.
SPEAKER_05 (03:46):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (03:46):
Or I'm not getting divorced because of this
and this scriptural ground.
SPEAKER_05 (03:49):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (03:50):
And so I think this episode is really one where
we have to.
I want to tread delicately.
Okay, because I don't want tooffend or misuse the scriptures.
Absolutely.
And I want to be real on focusedon on how God intended the word
to to come off.
SPEAKER_05 (04:06):
Okay.
Kyle Almodovar (04:06):
Because there is a real heart, a real genuine
godly message to the scripturesbehind divorce and behind how to
love and how to love well.
Selina Almodovar (04:15):
And how to love by faith.
Kyle Almodovar (04:16):
And in love by faith, we're all about loving
well.
Selina Almodovar (04:18):
Amen.
Kyle Almodovar (04:19):
Amen.
Selina Almodovar (04:19):
Wow, Kyle, you just came in there blazing, just
shooting.
Kyle Almodovar (04:23):
Cold open.
Here we go.
Selina Almodovar (04:24):
Wow.
Okay, we're we're just we'regonna jump right in.
So so as we were doing ourstudying and research, because
again, like Kyle said, we neverwant to take the Bible out of
context.
Like we fear the Lord, we aretrying to respect him and honor
him in every way possible.
And so by sharing his word withyou guys, we're going to, before
we say anything about it, we'regonna encourage you to take this
(04:47):
episode and use your Bible withit.
You know, listen to thescriptures and go back for
yourself and study thescriptures and really lean into
what the Holy Spirit is tryingto show you and reveal to you
from those scriptures because weum we're only the messenger,
okay?
We're only the messenger andwe're trying to honor the one
(05:08):
who sent us to deliver thismessage.
And so, with that being said,when we were doing our study
about what the biblical reasonswould be for divorce, the first
one that came up was spoken byJesus himself in the Gospels,
and it was about adultery.
Okay, so any kind of sexualadultery that was grounds for
(05:32):
it's okay to part ways and breakthis tie.
Kyle Almodovar (05:35):
You're talking about Matthew?
Selina Almodovar (05:37):
Yes.
I think it's Matthew um 19.
I have my notes pulled up.
Is that it?
Is that right?
Kyle Almodovar (05:41):
Yep, keep going.
Selina Almodovar (05:42):
Let's go.
So, okay, I'm gonna let's justread it.
Kyle Almodovar (05:44):
Yep, bring it.
Selina Almodovar (05:45):
I don't have the script.
Let me see.
I have my notes here, but Idon't have it pulled up
specifically.
Kyle Almodovar (05:51):
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,
except for sexual immorality,and marries another woman,
commits adultery.
Is that the one you're talkingabout?
Matthew 19, 9?
Selina Almodovar (05:59):
Yes, 19.9.
Yeah, that's the one.
Oh, there it is.
There's my notes.
Okay, so yeah, so Jesus himselfsaid this.
And so I think this is thereason why this takes precedent,
is because Jesus said it.
Like no one else said it, nobodyelse can like misinterpret what
he said, like nobody can mincehis words, and oh, this was a
male in the society doing withmale intentions.
(06:21):
Like, no, Jesus himself saidthis, thus says the Lord, and so
let it be done and let it be so,and all the church say amen.
So, Kyle, tell me about what youthink when it comes to this
reason, this biblical reason fordivorce.
Kyle Almodovar (06:34):
So, I'm gonna jump into kind of the the
context.
Okay.
So we're in you're in Jesus'time, and I think there was a
lot of abuse of the scripture tosay this and this happened, so
I'm gonna get a divorce.
This okay because it was a itwas a male-dominated
male-dominated society, and theywere going off of what what
(06:56):
Moses had said, and they wereabusing it, they were using it
to just get a divorce for anywilly-nilly reason.
SPEAKER_05 (07:03):
Yeah, right.
Kyle Almodovar (07:04):
And so Jesus said that you're getting
divorced for no reason, you'rebreaking this promise that you
made for no reason.
There's this covenant that youhave set forth to and intended
to do in front of God, you arebreaking.
You're breaking up with God.
SPEAKER_05 (07:18):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (07:19):
What God has brought together, you are
breaking.
Selina Almodovar (07:22):
Yeah.
And also to consider, like toput it in that historical
context, you know, every otherculture and every other religion
around them did not exercisethat oneness with one man and
one woman, one woman.
There was a bunch of polygamy.
There was a bunch of I'mmarrying off a bunch of people,
I'm I'm gonna, you know, theyhad the temples for the sex gods
(07:42):
and fertility gods, and so therewas just a bunch of stuff
happening.
And this was really a rarething.
And so I can see that.
But also, and you know, speedingit back up to 2025, that's still
common today.
Sure.
You know, we we talked about itin our temptations series, how
men are tempted to just look andit's a it's a carnal thing, and
(08:04):
women are tempted to lean inemotionally, and that's a a
thing, and it's from having thelack that you of getting that
kind of void filled in yourmarriage, right?
And people cheat.
People cheat.
Yes, cheating destroys so manytrust and so much image.
I I mean, I mean, like it justbreaks down into so many ways
(08:26):
and into so many layers forsomeone to get cheated on.
Now they have a misconstruedperception of who they are
because they think that they'renot qualified or worthy to have
a whole relationship becausesomebody sneaked out the back
door to find something better.
In other words, they think thattheir worth is not good enough.
(08:47):
They have trust issues, theyhave confusion issues of like, I
thought I was everything youneeded.
Why did you leave?
You know, so now it's just likethis feeling of like low
self-worth comes into it.
And then the cheater out ofnowhere is like, now he has the
trust issues because he's like,it was so easy for me to do it.
That person can easily do it.
I'm noting the signs becausethat's what I would do, and it
(09:09):
just it just breathes a wholebunch of mess.
It's very messy, it's hurtful.
Kyle Almodovar (09:14):
Yeah, it was it's it's the way in your in
your story there, it's sincreating more sin.
Because you have the the act ofgoing outside of the marriage
and breaking your vows, creatingthe sin of not trusting God.
SPEAKER_05 (09:28):
Yes, right?
Kyle Almodovar (09:28):
The sin just creates so much strife and so
much insecurity and questioningyourself, who I am, and that
identity problem, yes, and thenquestioning who God has called
you to.
Yes, questioning was God there,was God ever a part of it, and
then you're going back andyou're questioning your whole
faith now.
That's so true.
Because of this one awful act,yes, and and it's I think these
(09:52):
are the kind of reasons why it'sGod hates divorce, yes, because
it hurts.
It breeds so much, much, it justfesters and can create so much
sin, so much contempt, so muchhate through it.
Yeah, no doubt.
And and I think that's part oftaking marriage so seriously,
yes, and and and really takingthat premarital step so
(10:14):
seriously before you get marriedto ask who am I marrying, who am
I bringing into this marriage,yes, so that I am as prepared as
I can be.
Absolutely.
Because no one's ever a hundredpercent prepared for marriage,
but to be as prepared as you canfeel or to feel confident
walking in that hey, my cardsare on the table, I've worked
through my past, I've laid avision, we have laid a vision
(10:37):
for our future together and whatgrowing together over the next
six months, one year, five yearslooks like you know, life throws
curveballs, but you can lay outthat road roadmap to get there.
And I I I just that that infidelity is it's a biblical
ground for divorce for a reason.
And they're just so hard to clawback from that that in in this
(11:01):
my encouragement in this is tobe there for your partner.
Men, this is that listening ear,this is understanding her love
language, this is really diggingin when she needs you to.
This is being Christ for her andlaying down your wants and your
needs to just pick up your crossand to to it encourage her and
(11:22):
to to just take the the burdenfor her, take the beating for
her like Christ did for us.
Selina Almodovar (11:27):
There's something else that we are kind
of overlooking.
I know in that particularscripture, Jesus is mentioning
sexual immorality.
Right.
Right.
So it's like people can twistthat and be like, well, I didn't
sleep with them, so we're okay.
Right?
Like, I didn't sleep with them,I didn't I never got close to
that.
It was just the kiss, or it wasjust the date, it was just the
(11:50):
DM, it was just, you know, itwas it's nothing, you know.
I never did anything, quoteunquote.
And I think, you know, this iswhere the other Bible verse
comes to mind that I think of islike if you're looking at
somebody lustfully, you'recommitting adultery, you know,
and it's like whatever isbrewing in your heart to turn
away from your spouse andtowards someone else who is not
(12:12):
your spouse, who did not makethe covenants, then it leads to
the same adultery, and adulteryis hated on because it breeds
all of that sin that you justmentioned.
So for clarity, it's all of it.
It's all of it.
It's if your heart is turningaway from your spouse towards
(12:34):
someone else.
If you are longing for someoneelse, if you are desiring
someone else in your heart, it'sgoing to breathe that adulterous
spirit.
It's going to breathe thatadulterous mindset and those
motives, and then thetemptation.
Like now the enemy knows, like,oh, this is this is what I'm
gonna tap on.
(12:54):
This is what I'm gonna press on.
And then he just he breathes inthere.
And I think um it it goes backto it goes back to the covenant,
it it really does.
It goes back to the vows that wemade.
I I think people really don'ttake the vow seriously.
And when times get tough andwhen things start happening and
(13:14):
it gets hard, you know, I don'tbelieve that they believe they
are strong enough to endurethose hardships.
Kyle Almodovar (13:24):
It's become so traditional for the vows.
The vows are just part of thetrade.
Selina Almodovar (13:28):
It gets so it gets so easy to just tap out and
be like, I'm done, or I don'tneed to do this.
Like, I don't, I don't have to,I don't have to go through this.
I don't need to put, I don'tneed, I don't have to do this.
I don't need to put energytowards this.
I could just walk away.
I'm better than that, I'm higherthan that, I could just walk
away from this situation.
And they don't realisticallyunderstand, like, no, you took a
(13:51):
vow with God and with thisperson for better or worse,
sickness or health, rich orpoor.
Like you said, in allcircumstances you would be
willing to do it, and theydon't.
Kyle Almodovar (14:07):
Do you think it comes down to humility?
Selina Almodovar (14:10):
A lot of it comes down to humility, but then
a lot of it comes from thoseprevious relationships that sin
and has already breeded, thoughthat insecurity, that low
self-worth, the selfish mindset,the I've done it before, I could
do it again.
Some people just get a thrill ofbeing sneaky and not getting
caught.
Kyle Almodovar (14:29):
That's messy.
Selina Almodovar (14:30):
It's super messy, but it leads to that
adulterous spirit, it leads tothat adulterous behavior.
Kyle Almodovar (14:36):
The reason I bring up humility is because
when we're in these hardestmoments of our marriage, when
we're in these moments where wedon't want to keep trying, where
we want to just throw in atowel, I think that that
humility plays a big part intosolving the problem.
SPEAKER_05 (14:50):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (14:50):
And I think in the I think we have an episode
coming where we're gonna talkabout that.
Yeah.
Getting through that humilitywith humility will be a big key
to victory over divorce in ourmarriages.
Selina Almodovar (15:03):
Yes.
I know in some cases withmarriage, um, there is adultery
that happens and the couplestays together and and God bless
them, and we pray for thatreconciliation and the healing
and the forgiveness process.
But it also says that if youcan't trust that person again
because this thing happenedagain, if you're so hurt beyond
(15:26):
repair because this thinghappened again, God says the
covenant is broken.
You know, the covenant is brokenbecause you are attaching your
soul and your spirit to someoneelse.
And that covenant that you madewas your vowing to cleave onto
one person.
And when you decided to cleaveinto somebody else, you
(15:47):
completely ripped apart thatcleaving, which PS, like it's
not like a super glue situationwhere you can easily rip it off.
Like cleaving is like strongmold, strong bond.
Okay, you are ripping each otherapart so that you can have
pleasure or so that you can gainin a with someone else.
(16:08):
You're cleaving with someoneelse.
And so, because that rip hasbeen so detrimental to your
spirit, to your heart, to yourlife, to your family, to all of
the things, what God has broughttogether, you know, that was the
divorce was welcomed in thatsense.
(16:29):
So there's two more things thatwe need to talk about.
So I want to go ahead and makesure we get through those as
well.
Hey everyone, we hope thatyou're enjoying this episode.
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Kyle Almodovar (16:51):
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Selina Almodovar (17:11):
So grab your love by faith playbook today.
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(17:32):
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Go ahead and get your love byfaith playbook now, and let's
get back into this episode.
Okay, so we talked a lot aboutadultery and how that can create
a biblical um grounds fordivorce.
We want to talk about two more,and of course, like I feel like
(17:53):
this whole this whole topicitself deserves three of its own
episodes.
SPEAKER_04 (17:58):
Right.
Right?
Selina Almodovar (17:59):
Like we could just go on and on about just we
could have a whole episode onadultery.
We could have a whole episodeabout these other two things,
but real quick for the sake oftime, what is the second reason
why it would be biblically soundto get a divorce?
Kyle Almodovar (18:13):
I think the way it reads and the the message is
abandonment.
Selina Almodovar (18:17):
Yes.
We find this in the NewTestament where Paul teaches,
but if the unbelieving partnerseparates, let it be so.
In such cases, the brother orsister is not enslaved.
God has called you to peace.
And this is basically saying,you know, any kind of
abandonment from your covenantand from the marriage that you
(18:37):
agreed to have.
So what kind of what does thatmean, Kyle?
Like break this down.
Like, what does it mean toabandon your marriage?
Kyle Almodovar (18:44):
So the church was a baby church, right?
And you're getting all these newbelievers, new converts, and you
had people who werepseudo-married, not like we
think of it today, but they werethey were in in covenant
together, husband and and wife,and then the husband became a
full unbeliever in Christ.
Right?
So these and so Paul was wasministering to them that hey,
(19:04):
you're gonna take on this newbelief and things are gonna
change, and you might have anunbelieving partner who leaves
you and says, No, this is notthe way I want to follow.
And that is that is theabandonment.
So this unbeliever was was notwilling to follow you anymore,
was not willing to stayconnected to you anymore.
And so Paul was saying, Hey,this is gonna happen.
(19:25):
We just have to move on withthat.
Selina Almodovar (19:26):
So in today's time, what would that look like?
Kyle Almodovar (19:29):
I think in today's time this still happens,
where you're you find Christlate in your marriage or in the
middle of your marriage, and youwant to live a a a Christ life
like a Christ-like life.
SPEAKER_05 (19:41):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (19:42):
And your partner is not willing or not ready or
not understanding of who the newthe new the new fill in the
blank on your name person is.
Not willing to accept who thenew Selena is because this new
Selena doesn't do what she usedto do.
SPEAKER_05 (19:57):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (19:57):
Isn't willing to watch or think or Or move like
she used to move.
SPEAKER_05 (20:01):
Okay.
Kyle Almodovar (20:02):
And so the the husband says, This isn't what
who we are, this is what Isigned up for, and and leaves.
And and that's hard.
That's not what we want.
That's not how it's supposed tobe.
Yeah.
But this still happens today inthe real world.
The same way it happens, the thehusband will just just stop
trying.
Yeah.
And just abandon and just, Idon't want to do this anymore.
Selina Almodovar (20:23):
I was gonna say, um, that's exactly where I
was going, is that it can startwith abandonment where they're
becoming new in Christ, yeah,and then they walk away because
their partner doesn't agree toit, or it can be backwards.
It could be you started inChrist and then something
happens in your life where youabandon your faith.
You know, maybe there was anaddiction, maybe you started
(20:44):
gambling, maybe you just readsomething somewhere and all of a
sudden you don't believe in Godanymore.
SPEAKER_04 (20:50):
Wow.
Selina Almodovar (20:51):
You know, maybe you lost someone and you
don't believe in God anymorebecause of the hurt and the pain
and it caused you to feelseparated from him.
Your faith was so your faith,your faith was lost along the
way.
Kyle Almodovar (21:00):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (21:00):
I think that kind of thing, you know, like I
I mentioned addicts and Imentioned how they choose to
idolize that drug or that thatbottle more than they choose to
honor and in and prioritize God.
And so that is abandoning theirfaith.
You're abandoning your yourlife, your Christ-like life,
yeah, and you're leaving yourspouse to pursue this addiction.
(21:23):
To to what what is this?
You know, this is not what wewhat we're what we were called
for.
This is not what God has calledus to.
And if you continue to turn yourback towards the idols, you
know, the idols, which is reallywhat they are, right?
And you abandon God, then you'reabandoning your spouse at the
altar as well.
You're walking away from that.
And so that is what thatabandonment looks like in
(21:45):
today's time.
And so God says that Paulteaches that that is that is
okay because you're supposed tohave that peaceful life.
And for somebody who has to gothrough that, who has to
struggle with this is what itused to be, but now it's this.
Now it has become this, andyou're a completely different
person, and I don't even knowwho you are anymore.
And you are not the person thatI married, and you're not being
(22:06):
the the spiritual partner that Iknow you used to be and you once
were, and it is starting tocause harm, it's starting to
cause unrest in the in themarriage, then protect your
peace.
Kyle Almodovar (22:19):
There's one more layer to that abandonment.
Selina Almodovar (22:21):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (22:21):
Is that when you bring this up to your partner,
yeah, they're not willing toaddress it, they're not willing
to improve it, they're notwilling to repent and make it
right.
Yeah.
And that's where you'reabandoned.
Yeah.
Because they're not in improvedmode, they are not in fixed
mode, they're not in any kind ofconsideration to work together
to continue your bond.
SPEAKER_05 (22:41):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (22:42):
They have disregarded the bond.
Selina Almodovar (22:43):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (22:44):
And that is, I think that is the modern day
what Paul is alluding to.
Selina Almodovar (22:48):
I don't know why this is coming up in my
head, but there's this vision ofthe Lord of the Rings.
Okay.
Bear with me if you're not aLord of the Rings fan, but
there's a Lord of the Rings fanwhere Frodo has the mission to
throw the ring into the volcano,into Mordor, right?
And Sam is with him.
So if you think about this, I'mnot I'm not drawing conclusions
with these actors or with thestory of the characters, but I'm
(23:09):
just saying if you have a personwith a mission and a goal to
destroy the evil in your in yourrelationship for the sake of the
good of the world, and then yougot your helper helping you
along the way, and you finallyget to Mordor, so you're ready
to drop the ring.
Frodo was so consumed by thering at this point that he was
willing to abandon it.
He was willing to abandon themission and walk away and be
(23:31):
like, No, this is my ring.
I'm gonna take it.
You know, do you remember that?
And so to me, that's the visionis like you get to the ends of
the earth, and this person hasbeen so consumed by their sin or
the sin of the world that theyturn completely from it and they
say, I'm not gonna, I'm notgonna do it.
I'm not gonna throw that ringin.
(23:52):
They abandoned the mission.
They abandoned the mission, andso that's what causes that
passage of like, okay, this isokay to get divorced and walk
away from, you know.
What's up, love by faith family?
We want to say thank you so muchfor your support in watching and
engaging in every single episodethat we have put out thus far.
(24:12):
We could not have made it thisfar without you.
Kyle Almodovar (24:14):
That's right.
And we want to grow more, wewant to create new resources, we
want to increase our reach, andwe want to provide more for you
guys.
But the only way to make thathappen is for you to come
alongside and partner with us tosow a seed into this ministry to
help it grow.
Selina Almodovar (24:29):
Because at the end of the day, it's not about
getting new equipment or puttingout new resources, it's about
expanding the kingdom, it'sabout creating godly marriages.
And we can do that if youpartner alongside us with your
financial support.
There's a link below that youcan click on.
You can contribute one time oryou can partner with us on a
(24:50):
monthly basis and help us sow aseed so that love by faith can
continue to grow and reach themasses.
Kyle Almodovar (24:57):
If you want to see this ministry grow, follow
the link below and thank you.
We thank you for giving and forbeing just part of this journey
with us so that together we canlove by faith.
Love by faith, y'all.
Selina Almodovar (25:12):
You said we're gonna do a joke.
Kyle Almodovar (25:14):
That's not a joke.
Selina Almodovar (25:15):
Love by faith is a joke.
Kyle Almodovar (25:16):
Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.
Selina Almodovar (25:18):
That's not our tagline.
Kyle Almodovar (25:19):
It's a catchphrase.
Selina Almodovar (25:20):
Can you please just use the link and click
below and we would be grateful.
In Jesus' name.
unknown (25:27):
Amen.
Selina Almodovar (25:28):
The third layer, if I can, kind of goes
into this.
It goes into the abandonment,it's under the abandonment
umbrella, but I think itdeserves its own conversation,
and that is abuse.
Because if you're abandoningyour marriage, that abandonment
could look like abuse.
Yes, it could look like assaultbecause you're not honoring your
(25:48):
spouse.
And this goes both ways.
Right.
This is not just man againstwoman.
This could be women, could bephysical, but it could be
verbally abusing, it could bementally abusing your spouse.
Their abuse is in so manydifferent layers.
And I think a lot of peoplethink, oh, just because I don't
hit them, I'm not abusing them.
I'm still in this marriage, I'mstill a good person.
(26:08):
No, you are abusing them.
You are causing assault on thisperson mentally in their mind
and in their spirit.
You are crushing them from theinside out.
That is not cool.
Kyle Almodovar (26:19):
Talking them down, over controlling.
Selina Almodovar (26:21):
That is not loving and honoring.
That is not sacrificial love.
Kyle Almodovar (26:24):
Cheering down their character.
Selina Almodovar (26:25):
That is not what you signed up for when you
were at the altar with God.
Kyle Almodovar (26:28):
No, calling them out of their name.
Selina Almodovar (26:30):
You know, over and over.
Kyle Almodovar (26:31):
That reputed over and over of you're so
stupid, you're so wrong.
What an idiot.
Selina Almodovar (26:36):
So fat.
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (26:37):
It's that's abuse.
Selina Almodovar (26:39):
That's totally abuse.
That's totally abuse.
And so I can understand howsomeone could get abused, right?
Or the their spouse has turnedaway through abandonment, and
that causes them to questiontheir faith, which then
questions them to no longerbelieve in God because they've
been in this situation.
And now all of a sudden, they'rethe reason why they're getting
(27:02):
divorced.
I can see that.
Kyle Almodovar (27:03):
Yeah.
I'm thankful that our society isso much more not holding back on
this and calling a spade a spadeand that this is abuse.
SPEAKER_05 (27:09):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (27:09):
And that it's that it's known, like, hey, this
is not how we're supposed totreat people.
SPEAKER_05 (27:14):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (27:14):
Right.
And then people are are morecognizant to say, hey, wait, I'm
not taking this.
Like, right.
This is not how you're supposedto, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_05 (27:22):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (27:22):
And work towards that.
Right.
Work towards towards healing inthat.
Work towards, I don't want to bethis angry that I have to resort
to calling you names or have toresort to putting down your
character for no reason, but tomake myself feel better.
And I'm I'm grateful that oursociety is so much more uh
accountable on this.
Yeah.
And calling it what it is.
Yeah.
That it's abuse.
Selina Almodovar (27:41):
When there's a lack of respect, there's a lack
of love.
Kyle Almodovar (27:44):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (27:44):
And when there's a lack of love, where's
God in that?
Kyle Almodovar (27:47):
God is love.
Selina Almodovar (27:48):
You know what I mean?
Where's God in that marriage?
And and so we are we we wantedto share all these things with
you guys because we know that itis a stigma for Christian
couples to get divorced.
We know this.
It's it's a shameful thing.
It's it's embarrassing.
Kyle Almodovar (28:03):
The statistics in the church are the same as in
the world.
Selina Almodovar (28:05):
You know, and it doesn't mean that you're less
of a Christian because somethinghappened to you, because those
things and that person that youmarried has been affected by sin
and the world.
Right.
Okay.
It doesn't make you less of aChristian if you guys part ways
and then you find your godlypeace and then you you regain
yourself in in future seasons.
(28:25):
Right.
Kyle Almodovar (28:25):
Godly restoration is absolutely real.
Selina Almodovar (28:27):
But God's God does not hate you.
Let's be very clear.
Amen.
God does not hate you, He hatesthe act, He hates sin, He hates
impurity, He hates divorce.
Period.
Okay.
And the reasons behind it, theadultery, the abandonment, the
abuse, all of it is hurting hischildren.
(28:50):
And I don't know about you guys,but as a mother of three, if I
see that someone hurt my child'sfeelings or physically hurt my
child, you know, in any way, itdoes something to me as a
parent.
Kyle Almodovar (29:02):
Brings out the mama bear.
Selina Almodovar (29:04):
You know what I'm saying?
So to only imagine thatmagnitude in a godly
perspective, right?
How God feels when we arehurting each other, when he sees
the enemy just tapping andoffensing and throwing the
missiles and just you turning usagainst each other, you know,
thinking that he's winning, likethat can only make God that much
(29:28):
more angry and ready for thejustice to come down when he is
ready to come back to us.
And for that reason, we have toremain hopeful and we have to
remain with the peace and thelove in our life as married
couples because that is whereChrist is.
Yes.
And in the future episodes, weare gonna talk about if you are
on the brink of divorce, whatyou can do because there's still
(29:50):
hope, there's still a chance,there's still time.
That is still you know, we canstill do things because now
we've looked at what the Biblesays.
Now let's look at where you guysare at.
We're gonna talk about that inthe next episode.
But we hope that you guys takethis episode and we hope that
you will again go through thescriptures, do the research,
spend time in prayer, let theHoly Spirit lead you to peace.
(30:11):
Okay, right.
Peace is a person, that personis the prince of peace, Jesus
Christ Himself.
So if we can move ourselves inthe direction of his peace,
right, whether that'sreconciliation or separation,
let God lead you there.
Not me, not him, not thecounselor, not anybody else.
Let the Holy Spirit lead youthere.
And I think that's a great wayto end this episode.
Kyle Almodovar (30:31):
You nailed it, yes.
Kyle, will you please pray forus, please?
Absolutely, Lord.
We are thankful that you areLord of all, that that your word
guides us in life, that yourword guides our steps as as man
and woman and in this world,Lord.
You've showed us how to live alife of being faithfully wed.
(30:57):
Your scriptures are our light.
Help us today and each day towalk in that light and to
embrace what you've called us toapply the scriptures as we read
them and to work with otherbelievers to just live by faith.
We're grateful that you'vebrought us to this place, Lord.
We pray for all those listening,Lord, that their marriages will
(31:17):
be strong, that they wouldconnect with their spouse, that
they would feel your presence,Lord, that they would hold on to
the hope that you are working,Lord.
Pray for restoration for allthose who are seeking it, Lord,
for all those who arewholeheartedly praying for your
restoration.
We give you the glory for itall.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Selina Almodovar (31:35):
Amen.
Thank you guys so much fortuning in and listening and
watching Love by Faith.
Please like, share, subscribe ifyou are watching on YouTube.
If you're on a listeningplatform, we ask that you just
go to that platform and send usa good review.
Even a little five-star tapwould really help us spread the
word so that other couplesaround the world can learn to
love by faith alongside you.
So thank you so much for tuningin.
(31:56):
We hope that you enjoy this.
We will be back next week withanother very serious episode
helping you get your livestogether, helping us end this
year on a strong note.
We hope to see you then.
Take care.
See you next week.
Kyle Almodovar (32:11):
Love by faith, y'all.
Selina Almodovar (32:12):
Love by faith, y'all.
unknown (32:14):
Kyle.
Selina Almodovar (32:17):
Always gotta throw it in there.
Kyle Almodovar (32:18):
This is my catchphrase.
Selina Almodovar (32:20):
I gotta I gotta run errands today.
Kyle Almodovar (32:22):
You gotta go?
Selina Almodovar (32:23):
Yeah, I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Kyle Almodovar (32:24):
You gotta go.
Where are you going?
Selina Almodovar (32:25):
I gotta go.
I gotta take the dog to getgroomed.
Kyle Almodovar (32:28):
Oh, the haircut for the dog.
Selina Almodovar (32:29):
I gotta run to the bank.
He's alright.
I gotta run to the bank.
Kyle Almodovar (32:35):
You don't look like you're in a running outfit.
Selina Almodovar (32:36):
No, I gotta put sweats on.
I gotta get my sweats on.
Dead Joe.
Do you like that?
Because I'm wearing jeans,really?
Kyle Almodovar (32:42):
Yeah, dad Joe.
Wow.
Because no, because you said yougotta run to the bank.
Selina Almodovar (32:47):
You know what happens every time I run errands
because I do them so so rarely,I treat myself to lunch.
Kyle Almodovar (32:53):
Let's go.
Selina Almodovar (32:54):
So that means you're gonna treat me to lunch.
Thank you, Kyle.
You're my lunch.
You're welcome.
Kyle Almodovar (32:58):
Anytime.
Selina Almodovar (32:59):
Thank you for my lunch.
Okay.
This week we're getting into scripture around
divorce.
It is a stigma for Christiancouples to get divorced.
They're kind of misused, Ithink.
Selina Almodovar (00:07):
I thought I was everything you needed.
Why did you leave?
Kyle Almodovar (00:09):
I think these are the kind of reasons why it's
God hates divorce.
Selina Almodovar (00:12):
We're not perfect people.
By any means.
But by trusting in God, welearned what it takes to build a
friendship, a relationship, andmarriage that has stood the test
of time.
Kyle Almodovar (00:24):
With a keeping it real style, we're gonna talk
to you about everything thatwe've been through, are going
through, and have overcome allby learning how to lean on God
and each other.
Selina Almodovar (00:37):
In order to help you learn how to love by
faith.
Kyle Almodovar (00:54):
We do something where we always ask, what was
the highlight of your day?
And yesterday, I didn't get toask you what the highlight of
your day was.
Selina Almodovar (01:00):
Yesterday?
Kyle Almodovar (01:01):
Yeah, yesterday.
Selina Almodovar (01:02):
Yesterday I took a full day off.
Kyle Almodovar (01:03):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (01:04):
I needed it.
Going from Thanksgiving toeverything, and then like
leading up to everything else.
Like going from everythingleading up to everything else.
SPEAKER_04 (01:16):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (01:17):
I needed a day off.
And so the highlight of my daywas I tried to take a nap and I
I didn't need a nap as much as Ithought I did.
So I was like, oh, it kind ofrevealed to me like I'm not
physically tired, I'm justmentally tired.
What was the highlight of yourday?
Kyle Almodovar (01:34):
The highlight of my day yesterday.
Selina Almodovar (01:36):
Abbott day.
Because we watch Abbott onWednesdays.
Kyle Almodovar (01:40):
That was cool.
The highlight of my day.
Selina Almodovar (01:43):
Seeing Mark Anthony perform.
Kyle Almodovar (01:44):
No, Mark Anthony did did well.
Selina Almodovar (01:46):
Did his thing.
Kyle Almodovar (01:47):
But uh I'm gonna go with the highlight of my day
was I had a morning discussionwith one of my guys that I
talked to, and we had a reallygood talk, and that was the
highlight of my day.
Selina Almodovar (02:00):
That's great.
Somebody from work?
Kyle Almodovar (02:01):
Uh from the inner circle.
Yeah.
We're able to have a really goodmoment together and talk and
just hear each other in a greatway.
Selina Almodovar (02:10):
That's great.
Kyle Almodovar (02:10):
So that was good.
Good good man time in themorning was that's answered
prayers on the way to work.
Selina Almodovar (02:14):
It was good.
For you to to have men friendsand for the men of the church to
grow together and closertogether.
That's always a bit of prayer.
Kyle Almodovar (02:22):
It was definitely a time of fellowship.
Selina Almodovar (02:23):
Amen.
That was good.
Kyle Almodovar (02:25):
It was good.
Selina Almodovar (02:25):
Well, welcome to Love by Faith.
We're your hosts, Selena andKyle Almodovar here, and we are
smack dab in the middle ofDecember.
Deep Christmas.
But also we're going through apretty serious topic, which is
defeating divorce.
So if you listen to our lastepisode last week, we talked all
about why we think Christiancouples get divorced.
(02:46):
Make sure you tune into that ifyou haven't already.
And if you're back to join us,then welcome back.
We're so glad to have you.
We're gonna keep this discussiongoing.
Kyle, what are we talking abouttoday?
Kyle Almodovar (02:55):
This week, we're getting into scripture around
divorce.
Yes.
Scriptural reasons for divorce,yes.
What they mean, what they don'tmean, and and how they're
they're kind of misused, Ithink.
Sometimes are they looking at itwhen we're doing our homework
and getting ready for thisepisode?
Okay.
I I look at uh God hatesdivorce, right?
(03:15):
Yeah, yes, God hates divorce,yeah.
God hates people being in amistreated situation, yeah, God
hates his seeing his peoplehurt, God hates breaking
promises, God hates lying.
Yes, all of those things.
Yes, and all those thingscompound in the in a and can
compound to lead to divorce.
Yes, right?
And I think this is a reallysensitive topic, right?
(03:36):
Yeah, divorce and relating itback to scripture because it's
been so weaponized both ways.
Like weaponized for like I'mgetting a divorce because of
this, this, and this scripturalground.
SPEAKER_05 (03:46):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (03:46):
Or I'm not getting divorced because of this
and this scriptural ground.
SPEAKER_05 (03:49):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (03:50):
And so I think this episode is really one where
we have to.
I want to tread delicately.
Okay, because I don't want tooffend or misuse the scriptures.
Absolutely.
And I want to be real on focusedon on how God intended the word
to to come off.
SPEAKER_05 (04:06):
Okay.
Kyle Almodovar (04:06):
Because there is a real heart, a real genuine
godly message to the scripturesbehind divorce and behind how to
love and how to love well.
Selina Almodovar (04:15):
And how to love by faith.
Kyle Almodovar (04:16):
And in love by faith, we're all about loving
well.
Selina Almodovar (04:18):
Amen.
Kyle Almodovar (04:19):
Amen.
Selina Almodovar (04:19):
Wow, Kyle, you just came in there blazing, just
shooting.
Kyle Almodovar (04:23):
Cold open.
Here we go.
Selina Almodovar (04:24):
Wow.
Okay, we're we're just we'regonna jump right in.
So so as we were doing ourstudying and research, because
again, like Kyle said, we neverwant to take the Bible out of
context.
Like we fear the Lord, we aretrying to respect him and honor
him in every way possible.
And so by sharing his word withyou guys, we're going to, before
we say anything about it, we'regonna encourage you to take this
(04:47):
episode and use your Bible withit.
You know, listen to thescriptures and go back for
yourself and study thescriptures and really lean into
what the Holy Spirit is tryingto show you and reveal to you
from those scriptures because weum we're only the messenger,
okay?
We're only the messenger andwe're trying to honor the one
(05:08):
who sent us to deliver thismessage.
And so, with that being said,when we were doing our study
about what the biblical reasonswould be for divorce, the first
one that came up was spoken byJesus himself in the Gospels,
and it was about adultery.
Okay, so any kind of sexualadultery that was grounds for
(05:32):
it's okay to part ways and breakthis tie.
Kyle Almodovar (05:35):
You're talking about Matthew?
Selina Almodovar (05:37):
Yes.
I think it's Matthew um 19.
I have my notes pulled up.
Is that it?
Is that right?
Kyle Almodovar (05:41):
Yep, keep going.
Selina Almodovar (05:42):
Let's go.
So, okay, I'm gonna let's justread it.
Kyle Almodovar (05:44):
Yep, bring it.
Selina Almodovar (05:45):
I don't have the script.
Let me see.
I have my notes here, but Idon't have it pulled up
specifically.
Kyle Almodovar (05:51):
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,
except for sexual immorality,and marries another woman,
commits adultery.
Is that the one you're talkingabout?
Matthew 19, 9?
Selina Almodovar (05:59):
Yes, 19.9.
Yeah, that's the one.
Oh, there it is.
There's my notes.
Okay, so yeah, so Jesus himselfsaid this.
And so I think this is thereason why this takes precedent,
is because Jesus said it.
Like no one else said it, nobodyelse can like misinterpret what
he said, like nobody can mincehis words, and oh, this was a
male in the society doing withmale intentions.
(06:21):
Like, no, Jesus himself saidthis, thus says the Lord, and so
let it be done and let it be so,and all the church say amen.
So, Kyle, tell me about what youthink when it comes to this
reason, this biblical reason fordivorce.
Kyle Almodovar (06:34):
So, I'm gonna jump into kind of the the
context.
Okay.
So we're in you're in Jesus'time, and I think there was a
lot of abuse of the scripture tosay this and this happened, so
I'm gonna get a divorce.
This okay because it was a itwas a male-dominated
male-dominated society, and theywere going off of what what
(06:56):
Moses had said, and they wereabusing it, they were using it
to just get a divorce for anywilly-nilly reason.
SPEAKER_05 (07:03):
Yeah, right.
Kyle Almodovar (07:04):
And so Jesus said that you're getting
divorced for no reason, you'rebreaking this promise that you
made for no reason.
There's this covenant that youhave set forth to and intended
to do in front of God, you arebreaking.
You're breaking up with God.
SPEAKER_05 (07:18):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (07:19):
What God has brought together, you are
breaking.
Selina Almodovar (07:22):
Yeah.
And also to consider, like toput it in that historical
context, you know, every otherculture and every other religion
around them did not exercisethat oneness with one man and
one woman, one woman.
There was a bunch of polygamy.
There was a bunch of I'mmarrying off a bunch of people,
I'm I'm gonna, you know, theyhad the temples for the sex gods
(07:42):
and fertility gods, and so therewas just a bunch of stuff
happening.
And this was really a rarething.
And so I can see that.
But also, and you know, speedingit back up to 2025, that's still
common today.
Sure.
You know, we we talked about itin our temptations series, how
men are tempted to just look andit's a it's a carnal thing, and
(08:04):
women are tempted to lean inemotionally, and that's a a
thing, and it's from having thelack that you of getting that
kind of void filled in yourmarriage, right?
And people cheat.
People cheat.
Yes, cheating destroys so manytrust and so much image.
I I mean, I mean, like it justbreaks down into so many ways
(08:26):
and into so many layers forsomeone to get cheated on.
Now they have a misconstruedperception of who they are
because they think that they'renot qualified or worthy to have
a whole relationship becausesomebody sneaked out the back
door to find something better.
In other words, they think thattheir worth is not good enough.
(08:47):
They have trust issues, theyhave confusion issues of like, I
thought I was everything youneeded.
Why did you leave?
You know, so now it's just likethis feeling of like low
self-worth comes into it.
And then the cheater out ofnowhere is like, now he has the
trust issues because he's like,it was so easy for me to do it.
That person can easily do it.
I'm noting the signs becausethat's what I would do, and it
(09:09):
just it just breathes a wholebunch of mess.
It's very messy, it's hurtful.
Kyle Almodovar (09:14):
Yeah, it was it's it's the way in your in
your story there, it's sincreating more sin.
Because you have the the act ofgoing outside of the marriage
and breaking your vows, creatingthe sin of not trusting God.
SPEAKER_05 (09:28):
Yes, right?
Kyle Almodovar (09:28):
The sin just creates so much strife and so
much insecurity and questioningyourself, who I am, and that
identity problem, yes, and thenquestioning who God has called
you to.
Yes, questioning was God there,was God ever a part of it, and
then you're going back andyou're questioning your whole
faith now.
That's so true.
Because of this one awful act,yes, and and it's I think these
(09:52):
are the kind of reasons why it'sGod hates divorce, yes, because
it hurts.
It breeds so much, much, it justfesters and can create so much
sin, so much contempt, so muchhate through it.
Yeah, no doubt.
And and I think that's part oftaking marriage so seriously,
yes, and and and really takingthat premarital step so
(10:14):
seriously before you get marriedto ask who am I marrying, who am
I bringing into this marriage,yes, so that I am as prepared as
I can be.
Absolutely.
Because no one's ever a hundredpercent prepared for marriage,
but to be as prepared as you canfeel or to feel confident
walking in that hey, my cardsare on the table, I've worked
through my past, I've laid avision, we have laid a vision
(10:37):
for our future together and whatgrowing together over the next
six months, one year, five yearslooks like you know, life throws
curveballs, but you can lay outthat road roadmap to get there.
And I I I just that that infidelity is it's a biblical
ground for divorce for a reason.
And they're just so hard to clawback from that that in in this
(11:01):
my encouragement in this is tobe there for your partner.
Men, this is that listening ear,this is understanding her love
language, this is really diggingin when she needs you to.
This is being Christ for her andlaying down your wants and your
needs to just pick up your crossand to to it encourage her and
(11:22):
to to just take the the burdenfor her, take the beating for
her like Christ did for us.
Selina Almodovar (11:27):
There's something else that we are kind
of overlooking.
I know in that particularscripture, Jesus is mentioning
sexual immorality.
Right.
Right.
So it's like people can twistthat and be like, well, I didn't
sleep with them, so we're okay.
Right?
Like, I didn't sleep with them,I didn't I never got close to
that.
It was just the kiss, or it wasjust the date, it was just the
(11:50):
DM, it was just, you know, itwas it's nothing, you know.
I never did anything, quoteunquote.
And I think, you know, this iswhere the other Bible verse
comes to mind that I think of islike if you're looking at
somebody lustfully, you'recommitting adultery, you know,
and it's like whatever isbrewing in your heart to turn
away from your spouse andtowards someone else who is not
(12:12):
your spouse, who did not makethe covenants, then it leads to
the same adultery, and adulteryis hated on because it breeds
all of that sin that you justmentioned.
So for clarity, it's all of it.
It's all of it.
It's if your heart is turningaway from your spouse towards
(12:34):
someone else.
If you are longing for someoneelse, if you are desiring
someone else in your heart, it'sgoing to breathe that adulterous
spirit.
It's going to breathe thatadulterous mindset and those
motives, and then thetemptation.
Like now the enemy knows, like,oh, this is this is what I'm
gonna tap on.
(12:54):
This is what I'm gonna press on.
And then he just he breathes inthere.
And I think um it it goes backto it goes back to the covenant,
it it really does.
It goes back to the vows that wemade.
I I think people really don'ttake the vow seriously.
And when times get tough andwhen things start happening and
(13:14):
it gets hard, you know, I don'tbelieve that they believe they
are strong enough to endurethose hardships.
Kyle Almodovar (13:24):
It's become so traditional for the vows.
The vows are just part of thetrade.
Selina Almodovar (13:28):
It gets so it gets so easy to just tap out and
be like, I'm done, or I don'tneed to do this.
Like, I don't, I don't have to,I don't have to go through this.
I don't need to put, I don'tneed, I don't have to do this.
I don't need to put energytowards this.
I could just walk away.
I'm better than that, I'm higherthan that, I could just walk
away from this situation.
And they don't realisticallyunderstand, like, no, you took a
(13:51):
vow with God and with thisperson for better or worse,
sickness or health, rich orpoor.
Like you said, in allcircumstances you would be
willing to do it, and theydon't.
Kyle Almodovar (14:07):
Do you think it comes down to humility?
Selina Almodovar (14:10):
A lot of it comes down to humility, but then
a lot of it comes from thoseprevious relationships that sin
and has already breeded, thoughthat insecurity, that low
self-worth, the selfish mindset,the I've done it before, I could
do it again.
Some people just get a thrill ofbeing sneaky and not getting
caught.
Kyle Almodovar (14:29):
That's messy.
Selina Almodovar (14:30):
It's super messy, but it leads to that
adulterous spirit, it leads tothat adulterous behavior.
Kyle Almodovar (14:36):
The reason I bring up humility is because
when we're in these hardestmoments of our marriage, when
we're in these moments where wedon't want to keep trying, where
we want to just throw in atowel, I think that that
humility plays a big part intosolving the problem.
SPEAKER_05 (14:50):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (14:50):
And I think in the I think we have an episode
coming where we're gonna talkabout that.
Yeah.
Getting through that humilitywith humility will be a big key
to victory over divorce in ourmarriages.
Selina Almodovar (15:03):
Yes.
I know in some cases withmarriage, um, there is adultery
that happens and the couplestays together and and God bless
them, and we pray for thatreconciliation and the healing
and the forgiveness process.
But it also says that if youcan't trust that person again
because this thing happenedagain, if you're so hurt beyond
(15:26):
repair because this thinghappened again, God says the
covenant is broken.
You know, the covenant is brokenbecause you are attaching your
soul and your spirit to someoneelse.
And that covenant that you madewas your vowing to cleave onto
one person.
And when you decided to cleaveinto somebody else, you
(15:47):
completely ripped apart thatcleaving, which PS, like it's
not like a super glue situationwhere you can easily rip it off.
Like cleaving is like strongmold, strong bond.
Okay, you are ripping each otherapart so that you can have
pleasure or so that you can gainin a with someone else.
(16:08):
You're cleaving with someoneelse.
And so, because that rip hasbeen so detrimental to your
spirit, to your heart, to yourlife, to your family, to all of
the things, what God has broughttogether, you know, that was the
divorce was welcomed in thatsense.
(16:29):
So there's two more things thatwe need to talk about.
So I want to go ahead and makesure we get through those as
well.
Hey everyone, we hope thatyou're enjoying this episode.
And right now, we want to justtake a small minute to introduce
to you the latest thing that wecreated to help you elevate your
relationship and take it to thenext level.
It's called the Love by Faithplaybook.
Kyle Almodovar (16:51):
Every good coach knows they have to have winning
plays.
We went through our foundationseries and we pulled out some of
the best winning plays andcreated strategies for you guys.
Plays like how to be betterfinancially, how to do ministry
together, how to be betterromantically, how to be better
family life.
We went through all thesedifferent areas from the
foundation series and put ittogether in a playbook.
Selina Almodovar (17:11):
So grab your love by faith playbook today.
You can use the link in thedescription below, enter it.
And the good news about this isthat it is a living document.
So you download it one time, andevery single month, we are gonna
be updating this document togive you fresh new plays to help
you and your partner love byfaith and create a winning
(17:32):
season.
Go ahead and get your love byfaith playbook now, and let's
get back into this episode.
Okay, so we talked a lot aboutadultery and how that can create
a biblical um grounds fordivorce.
We want to talk about two more,and of course, like I feel like
(17:53):
this whole this whole topicitself deserves three of its own
episodes.
SPEAKER_04 (17:58):
Right.
Right?
Selina Almodovar (17:59):
Like we could just go on and on about just we
could have a whole episode onadultery.
We could have a whole episodeabout these other two things,
but real quick for the sake oftime, what is the second reason
why it would be biblically soundto get a divorce?
Kyle Almodovar (18:13):
I think the way it reads and the the message is
abandonment.
Selina Almodovar (18:17):
Yes.
We find this in the NewTestament where Paul teaches,
but if the unbelieving partnerseparates, let it be so.
In such cases, the brother orsister is not enslaved.
God has called you to peace.
And this is basically saying,you know, any kind of
abandonment from your covenantand from the marriage that you
(18:37):
agreed to have.
So what kind of what does thatmean, Kyle?
Like break this down.
Like, what does it mean toabandon your marriage?
Kyle Almodovar (18:44):
So the church was a baby church, right?
And you're getting all these newbelievers, new converts, and you
had people who werepseudo-married, not like we
think of it today, but they werethey were in in covenant
together, husband and and wife,and then the husband became a
full unbeliever in Christ.
Right?
So these and so Paul was wasministering to them that hey,
(19:04):
you're gonna take on this newbelief and things are gonna
change, and you might have anunbelieving partner who leaves
you and says, No, this is notthe way I want to follow.
And that is that is theabandonment.
So this unbeliever was was notwilling to follow you anymore,
was not willing to stayconnected to you anymore.
And so Paul was saying, Hey,this is gonna happen.
(19:25):
We just have to move on withthat.
Selina Almodovar (19:26):
So in today's time, what would that look like?
Kyle Almodovar (19:29):
I think in today's time this still happens,
where you're you find Christlate in your marriage or in the
middle of your marriage, and youwant to live a a a Christ life
like a Christ-like life.
SPEAKER_05 (19:41):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (19:42):
And your partner is not willing or not ready or
not understanding of who the newthe new the new fill in the
blank on your name person is.
Not willing to accept who thenew Selena is because this new
Selena doesn't do what she usedto do.
SPEAKER_05 (19:57):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (19:57):
Isn't willing to watch or think or Or move like
she used to move.
SPEAKER_05 (20:01):
Okay.
Kyle Almodovar (20:02):
And so the the husband says, This isn't what
who we are, this is what Isigned up for, and and leaves.
And and that's hard.
That's not what we want.
That's not how it's supposed tobe.
Yeah.
But this still happens today inthe real world.
The same way it happens, the thehusband will just just stop
trying.
Yeah.
And just abandon and just, Idon't want to do this anymore.
Selina Almodovar (20:23):
I was gonna say, um, that's exactly where I
was going, is that it can startwith abandonment where they're
becoming new in Christ, yeah,and then they walk away because
their partner doesn't agree toit, or it can be backwards.
It could be you started inChrist and then something
happens in your life where youabandon your faith.
You know, maybe there was anaddiction, maybe you started
(20:44):
gambling, maybe you just readsomething somewhere and all of a
sudden you don't believe in Godanymore.
SPEAKER_04 (20:50):
Wow.
Selina Almodovar (20:51):
You know, maybe you lost someone and you
don't believe in God anymorebecause of the hurt and the pain
and it caused you to feelseparated from him.
Your faith was so your faith,your faith was lost along the
way.
Kyle Almodovar (21:00):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (21:00):
I think that kind of thing, you know, like I
I mentioned addicts and Imentioned how they choose to
idolize that drug or that thatbottle more than they choose to
honor and in and prioritize God.
And so that is abandoning theirfaith.
You're abandoning your yourlife, your Christ-like life,
yeah, and you're leaving yourspouse to pursue this addiction.
(21:23):
To to what what is this?
You know, this is not what wewhat we're what we were called
for.
This is not what God has calledus to.
And if you continue to turn yourback towards the idols, you
know, the idols, which is reallywhat they are, right?
And you abandon God, then you'reabandoning your spouse at the
altar as well.
You're walking away from that.
And so that is what thatabandonment looks like in
(21:45):
today's time.
And so God says that Paulteaches that that is that is
okay because you're supposed tohave that peaceful life.
And for somebody who has to gothrough that, who has to
struggle with this is what itused to be, but now it's this.
Now it has become this, andyou're a completely different
person, and I don't even knowwho you are anymore.
And you are not the person thatI married, and you're not being
(22:06):
the the spiritual partner that Iknow you used to be and you once
were, and it is starting tocause harm, it's starting to
cause unrest in the in themarriage, then protect your
peace.
Kyle Almodovar (22:19):
There's one more layer to that abandonment.
Selina Almodovar (22:21):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (22:21):
Is that when you bring this up to your partner,
yeah, they're not willing toaddress it, they're not willing
to improve it, they're notwilling to repent and make it
right.
Yeah.
And that's where you'reabandoned.
Yeah.
Because they're not in improvedmode, they are not in fixed
mode, they're not in any kind ofconsideration to work together
to continue your bond.
SPEAKER_05 (22:41):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (22:42):
They have disregarded the bond.
Selina Almodovar (22:43):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (22:44):
And that is, I think that is the modern day
what Paul is alluding to.
Selina Almodovar (22:48):
I don't know why this is coming up in my
head, but there's this vision ofthe Lord of the Rings.
Okay.
Bear with me if you're not aLord of the Rings fan, but
there's a Lord of the Rings fanwhere Frodo has the mission to
throw the ring into the volcano,into Mordor, right?
And Sam is with him.
So if you think about this, I'mnot I'm not drawing conclusions
with these actors or with thestory of the characters, but I'm
(23:09):
just saying if you have a personwith a mission and a goal to
destroy the evil in your in yourrelationship for the sake of the
good of the world, and then yougot your helper helping you
along the way, and you finallyget to Mordor, so you're ready
to drop the ring.
Frodo was so consumed by thering at this point that he was
willing to abandon it.
He was willing to abandon themission and walk away and be
(23:31):
like, No, this is my ring.
I'm gonna take it.
You know, do you remember that?
And so to me, that's the visionis like you get to the ends of
the earth, and this person hasbeen so consumed by their sin or
the sin of the world that theyturn completely from it and they
say, I'm not gonna, I'm notgonna do it.
I'm not gonna throw that ringin.
(23:52):
They abandoned the mission.
They abandoned the mission, andso that's what causes that
passage of like, okay, this isokay to get divorced and walk
away from, you know.
What's up, love by faith family?
We want to say thank you so muchfor your support in watching and
engaging in every single episodethat we have put out thus far.
(24:12):
We could not have made it thisfar without you.
Kyle Almodovar (24:14):
That's right.
And we want to grow more, wewant to create new resources, we
want to increase our reach, andwe want to provide more for you
guys.
But the only way to make thathappen is for you to come
alongside and partner with us tosow a seed into this ministry to
help it grow.
Selina Almodovar (24:29):
Because at the end of the day, it's not about
getting new equipment or puttingout new resources, it's about
expanding the kingdom, it'sabout creating godly marriages.
And we can do that if youpartner alongside us with your
financial support.
There's a link below that youcan click on.
You can contribute one time oryou can partner with us on a
(24:50):
monthly basis and help us sow aseed so that love by faith can
continue to grow and reach themasses.
Kyle Almodovar (24:57):
If you want to see this ministry grow, follow
the link below and thank you.
We thank you for giving and forbeing just part of this journey
with us so that together we canlove by faith.
Love by faith, y'all.
Selina Almodovar (25:12):
You said we're gonna do a joke.
Kyle Almodovar (25:14):
That's not a joke.
Selina Almodovar (25:15):
Love by faith is a joke.
Kyle Almodovar (25:16):
Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.
Selina Almodovar (25:18):
That's not our tagline.
Kyle Almodovar (25:19):
It's a catchphrase.
Selina Almodovar (25:20):
Can you please just use the link and click
below and we would be grateful.
In Jesus' name.
unknown (25:27):
Amen.
Selina Almodovar (25:28):
The third layer, if I can, kind of goes
into this.
It goes into the abandonment,it's under the abandonment
umbrella, but I think itdeserves its own conversation,
and that is abuse.
Because if you're abandoningyour marriage, that abandonment
could look like abuse.
Yes, it could look like assaultbecause you're not honoring your
(25:48):
spouse.
And this goes both ways.
Right.
This is not just man againstwoman.
This could be women, could bephysical, but it could be
verbally abusing, it could bementally abusing your spouse.
Their abuse is in so manydifferent layers.
And I think a lot of peoplethink, oh, just because I don't
hit them, I'm not abusing them.
I'm still in this marriage, I'mstill a good person.
(26:08):
No, you are abusing them.
You are causing assault on thisperson mentally in their mind
and in their spirit.
You are crushing them from theinside out.
That is not cool.
Kyle Almodovar (26:19):
Talking them down, over controlling.
Selina Almodovar (26:21):
That is not loving and honoring.
That is not sacrificial love.
Kyle Almodovar (26:24):
Cheering down their character.
Selina Almodovar (26:25):
That is not what you signed up for when you
were at the altar with God.
Kyle Almodovar (26:28):
No, calling them out of their name.
Selina Almodovar (26:30):
You know, over and over.
Kyle Almodovar (26:31):
That reputed over and over of you're so
stupid, you're so wrong.
What an idiot.
Selina Almodovar (26:36):
So fat.
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (26:37):
It's that's abuse.
Selina Almodovar (26:39):
That's totally abuse.
That's totally abuse.
And so I can understand howsomeone could get abused, right?
Or the their spouse has turnedaway through abandonment, and
that causes them to questiontheir faith, which then
questions them to no longerbelieve in God because they've
been in this situation.
And now all of a sudden, they'rethe reason why they're getting
(27:02):
divorced.
I can see that.
Kyle Almodovar (27:03):
Yeah.
I'm thankful that our society isso much more not holding back on
this and calling a spade a spadeand that this is abuse.
SPEAKER_05 (27:09):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (27:09):
And that it's that it's known, like, hey, this
is not how we're supposed totreat people.
SPEAKER_05 (27:14):
Yeah.
Kyle Almodovar (27:14):
Right.
And then people are are morecognizant to say, hey, wait, I'm
not taking this.
Like, right.
This is not how you're supposedto, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_05 (27:22):
Yes.
Kyle Almodovar (27:22):
And work towards that.
Right.
Work towards towards healing inthat.
Work towards, I don't want to bethis angry that I have to resort
to calling you names or have toresort to putting down your
character for no reason, but tomake myself feel better.
And I'm I'm grateful that oursociety is so much more uh
accountable on this.
Yeah.
And calling it what it is.
Yeah.
That it's abuse.
Selina Almodovar (27:41):
When there's a lack of respect, there's a lack
of love.
Kyle Almodovar (27:44):
Yeah.
Selina Almodovar (27:44):
And when there's a lack of love, where's
God in that?
Kyle Almodovar (27:47):
God is love.
Selina Almodovar (27:48):
You know what I mean?
Where's God in that marriage?
And and so we are we we wantedto share all these things with
you guys because we know that itis a stigma for Christian
couples to get divorced.
We know this.
It's it's a shameful thing.
It's it's embarrassing.
Kyle Almodovar (28:03):
The statistics in the church are the same as in
the world.
Selina Almodovar (28:05):
You know, and it doesn't mean that you're less
of a Christian because somethinghappened to you, because those
things and that person that youmarried has been affected by sin
and the world.
Right.
Okay.
It doesn't make you less of aChristian if you guys part ways
and then you find your godlypeace and then you you regain
yourself in in future seasons.
(28:25):
Right.
Kyle Almodovar (28:25):
Godly restoration is absolutely real.
Selina Almodovar (28:27):
But God's God does not hate you.
Let's be very clear.
Amen.
God does not hate you, He hatesthe act, He hates sin, He hates
impurity, He hates divorce.
Period.
Okay.
And the reasons behind it, theadultery, the abandonment, the
abuse, all of it is hurting hischildren.
(28:50):
And I don't know about you guys,but as a mother of three, if I
see that someone hurt my child'sfeelings or physically hurt my
child, you know, in any way, itdoes something to me as a
parent.
Kyle Almodovar (29:02):
Brings out the mama bear.
Selina Almodovar (29:04):
You know what I'm saying?
So to only imagine thatmagnitude in a godly
perspective, right?
How God feels when we arehurting each other, when he sees
the enemy just tapping andoffensing and throwing the
missiles and just you turning usagainst each other, you know,
thinking that he's winning, likethat can only make God that much
(29:28):
more angry and ready for thejustice to come down when he is
ready to come back to us.
And for that reason, we have toremain hopeful and we have to
remain with the peace and thelove in our life as married
couples because that is whereChrist is.
Yes.
And in the future episodes, weare gonna talk about if you are
on the brink of divorce, whatyou can do because there's still
(29:50):
hope, there's still a chance,there's still time.
That is still you know, we canstill do things because now
we've looked at what the Biblesays.
Now let's look at where you guysare at.
We're gonna talk about that inthe next episode.
But we hope that you guys takethis episode and we hope that
you will again go through thescriptures, do the research,
spend time in prayer, let theHoly Spirit lead you to peace.
(30:11):
Okay, right.
Peace is a person, that personis the prince of peace, Jesus
Christ Himself.
So if we can move ourselves inthe direction of his peace,
right, whether that'sreconciliation or separation,
let God lead you there.
Not me, not him, not thecounselor, not anybody else.
Let the Holy Spirit lead youthere.
And I think that's a great wayto end this episode.
Kyle Almodovar (30:31):
You nailed it, yes.
Kyle, will you please pray forus, please?
Absolutely, Lord.
We are thankful that you areLord of all, that that your word
guides us in life, that yourword guides our steps as as man
and woman and in this world,Lord.
You've showed us how to live alife of being faithfully wed.
(30:57):
Your scriptures are our light.
Help us today and each day towalk in that light and to
embrace what you've called us toapply the scriptures as we read
them and to work with otherbelievers to just live by faith.
We're grateful that you'vebrought us to this place, Lord.
We pray for all those listening,Lord, that their marriages will
(31:17):
be strong, that they wouldconnect with their spouse, that
they would feel your presence,Lord, that they would hold on to
the hope that you are working,Lord.
Pray for restoration for allthose who are seeking it, Lord,
for all those who arewholeheartedly praying for your
restoration.
We give you the glory for itall.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Selina Almodovar (31:35):
Amen.
Thank you guys so much fortuning in and listening and
watching Love by Faith.
Please like, share, subscribe ifyou are watching on YouTube.
If you're on a listeningplatform, we ask that you just
go to that platform and send usa good review.
Even a little five-star tapwould really help us spread the
word so that other couplesaround the world can learn to
love by faith alongside you.
So thank you so much for tuningin.
(31:56):
We hope that you enjoy this.
We will be back next week withanother very serious episode
helping you get your livestogether, helping us end this
year on a strong note.
We hope to see you then.
Take care.
See you next week.
Kyle Almodovar (32:11):
Love by faith, y'all.
Selina Almodovar (32:12):
Love by faith, y'all.
unknown (32:14):
Kyle.
Selina Almodovar (32:17):
Always gotta throw it in there.
Kyle Almodovar (32:18):
This is my catchphrase.
Selina Almodovar (32:20):
I gotta I gotta run errands today.
Kyle Almodovar (32:22):
You gotta go?
Selina Almodovar (32:23):
Yeah, I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Kyle Almodovar (32:24):
You gotta go.
Where are you going?
Selina Almodovar (32:25):
I gotta go.
I gotta take the dog to getgroomed.
Kyle Almodovar (32:28):
Oh, the haircut for the dog.
Selina Almodovar (32:29):
I gotta run to the bank.
He's alright.
I gotta run to the bank.
Kyle Almodovar (32:35):
You don't look like you're in a running outfit.
Selina Almodovar (32:36):
No, I gotta put sweats on.
I gotta get my sweats on.
Dead Joe.
Do you like that?
Because I'm wearing jeans,really?
Kyle Almodovar (32:42):
Yeah, dad Joe.
Wow.
Because no, because you said yougotta run to the bank.
Selina Almodovar (32:47):
You know what happens every time I run errands
because I do them so so rarely,I treat myself to lunch.
Kyle Almodovar (32:53):
Let's go.
Selina Almodovar (32:54):
So that means you're gonna treat me to lunch.
Thank you, Kyle.
You're my lunch.
You're welcome.
Kyle Almodovar (32:58):
Anytime.
Selina Almodovar (32:59):
Thank you for my lunch.
Okay.
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