July 22, 2025 • 36 mins
In this "legacy" episode, Kyle and Selina discuss building a strong and healthy future together.
Kyle and Selina tackle the often overlooked topic of health legacy and its profound impact on marriage relationships, exploring how today's health choices shape dreams for a shared future.
• Health legacy affects your marriage in both longevity and quality of the relationship
• Gym workout experiences together can create unexpected conflicts when expectations aren't aligned
• Mental health is as crucial to address as physical health—everyone should have at least one mental health checkup
• Avoid negative patterns like shaming your spouse about their health choices or forcing them into your health routines
• Health challenges can limit your ability to enjoy life's experiences together, from playing with children to traveling
• Personal health choices today determine whether future dreams can become a reality
• Couples must communicate clearly about health goals and what accountability looks like for each person
• Prayer is essential for guidance in health decisions that honor God and serve your relationship
Get the Love by Faith Playbook, a collection of strategies to help couples elevate their relationship across various dimensions, including health, finances, and romance.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're going to talk about our health being healthy.
What kind of health life legacyare you trying to leave?
You should go to the gym.
Then You're going to complainabout your weight.
You should go to the gym.
She wants to have salads allthe time.
So now guess who's havingsalads all the time?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you're going to treat yourself poorly, if you're
going to give up on yourselfhealth-wise, then how are you
ever going to be healthy enoughto have a long-lasting
relationship?
We, long lasting relationship.
We're not perfect people by anymeans, but by trusting in God,
we learned what it takes tobuild a friendship, a
relationship and marriage thathas stood the test of time.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
With a keeping it real style.
We're going to talk to youabout everything everything that
we've been through are goingthrough and have overcome.
Overcome all by learning how tolean on God and each other in
order to help you learn how tolove by faith Good evening.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Dan Rather here.
Who's Dan Rather?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
good evening dan rather here who's, dan rather
this is like 60 minutes dudewhat?
Yeah, there's an actual guyyeah, there's a host of 60
minutes.
I thought it was just anarrator no, there's a like a
talking head who starts it.
No way, yeah, I never watchedit as like a lot as a kid, but I
remember it was always like onafter football.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
You know who I always used to see.
My dad was super big on PeterJennings.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Peter Jennings PBS.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
No, it was ABC News Tonight with Peter Jennings.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It came on at like six o'clock news Six o'clock
news with.
Peter Jennings and my dad wasso obsessed with him and I think
he he died of cancer like hestepped down from his role and
died with like he passed in that, yeah, man when's the last time
you watched the news?
You know what I do as I get themorning brew I did post the
(01:57):
morning brew in one of theprevious episodes okay and it's
like a daily um news fee thatyou get in your email and that
to me, me is my more.
That's my world news tonight.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's my world news in the morning with morning brew.
So shout out to morning brew.
But it's just.
It just gives you the worldnews, gives you everything from
stocks to finances.
So what's going on in the world?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
in pop culture.
What's going on in?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
political world, all the things all wrapped up into a
lovely bulb Awesome.
Let's go.
Let's dive in.
Let's dive right in.
Welcome.
Welcome everyone to Love byFaith, selena and Kyle, and
we're happy that you guys arehere.
If you're listening for thefirst time, welcome If you've
been with us for a while youknow I'm playing.
Let's go, we're going.
You know it is what it is.
(02:37):
We're mid-deep into our lastseries of season two and that is
legacy.
Okay, so we talked aboutfriends, we talked about family
and how your legacy is important, how you can leave a lasting
impression in these areas inyour relationship and how it can
(02:58):
just create a ripple ofgoodness into the world.
And this episode we are goingto switch a little gears out of
the relationships, but still howit's going to affect your
marriage and how it's going toaffect your, your core
relationship moving forward, andthat is.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Let me say yeah, Health.
We're talking about our healthbeing healthy.
What kind of health life legacyare you trying to leave?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
What kind of health legacy are you trying to leave?
What kind of health legacy areyou trying to leave?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
And more instead leave.
What kind of health legacy areyou trying to live?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yes, right, yes, our body's a temple.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
The Lord wants us to take care of it.
Lord wants us to make the mostand have a healthy body so that
we can do the most that we canfor the kingdom.
Yes, right.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So that he can get the best out of us.
Amen.
Also, with that, I think thatwithin your relationship, health
is one of those things that youdon't really talk about.
You hardly talk about health.
When it comes to yourrelationship standpoint and your
setting standpoint, you eitherwork out together or, once you
get married, you kind of gain alittle bit of weight, or you
kind of have the ups and downsbut nobody really talks about,
nobody really has a sit downmoment, weight.
Or you, you know, you kind ofhave the ups and downs but
nobody really talks about,nobody really has a sit down
(04:07):
moment, and say, like, what arethe health goals?
What are we trying to reach?
Um, I'm concerned for yourhealth, or you know how your
health is going to leave alasting impression based on the
health choices that you maketoday.
I don't know about you, but Iwant you to live till at least
90, like maybe that's selfish,but I want you to live long,
right, because I want to have along life with you and I think a
(04:29):
lot of what you do with yourhealth will affect that.
I just feel like, if I trulylove you and I love you so much
that I don't want to think oflife without you, and your
health has a major effect onthat, depending on how long you
(04:51):
live, and so it's an importantthing to talk about as couples,
because what you want and whatcould be is often affected to
this.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
But what I want is just to lift heavy every day and
drink protein shakes and have22-inch pythons like Hulk.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Hogan.
Okay, so this is interestingbecause this health choice
affects your marriage in so manyways as well, not just in
longevity, but you wanting to bea gym rat affects your
testosterone.
It affects how much you needout of your wife because of the
(05:31):
testosterone.
It affects the time away fromthe house because you're packing
and you're lifting and you'redoing all the things.
It affects your energy levels.
All of the things can beaffected simply from this one
health choice but we went to thegym together like two times
when well, once when we weredating and we got mad at each
(05:52):
other because I was trying tolive and you were.
You have to tell the whole storyyou.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You always correct me when I'm telling the story do
you want me to tell the story?
No, I'll tell it from how Iremember.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I'm not gonna say nothing from how I remember.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I will listen is like let's work out together, and
I'm like that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It's a great day.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I love to to lift, I love to exercise.
I've always have yes right, yes, and so we set up the time.
All right, meet at 6 am.
I'm gonna go to the gym yes,get a lift in, got it.
I'm thinking I'm gonna go tothe gym and get a lift in.
Yes, she's thinking we're gonnago to the gym and get a lift in
.
Yes, she's thinking we're goingto go to the gym and flirt and
be silly together.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It was a date.
Of course I want you to woo me.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Okay, want you to woo me.
We had two different agendashappening right there.
We didn't know, I wanted to wooher by showing her I could pick
up.
Go back to the communication260 pounds To learn how to
better communicate.
Lifting, get a good jog, get agood sweat going.
We did good, get the heart rategoing, we were down to the floor
exercises and she just keepscoming over and stopping me and
(06:49):
she's like doing her thing overhere and I'm doing my thing over
there, quiet, and I'm like youknow, checking her out across
the gym.
It's awesome, it's going, goinggood.
And then I remember how shecomes up and stops me and I'm
like you're messing up my heartrate and she's got got all
grumpy mad Not even just grumpy,she got mad that I told her to
stop talking and let's keepworking.
(07:10):
And I think that was one of ourfirst fights, one of our first
squabbles, if you would.
How do you remember it?
You got that.
Look like I'm totally wrong.
I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
No, I'm not saying nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You have that.
Look, I'm not saying that.
You have that.
Look, I'm not saying nothing.
Tell the people how I got it.
There was a floor.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
We were both on the mat doing like ab workout stuff
and it's like my least favoritesubject in gym.
Nobody wants to do the abs.
And I was being flirtatious.
Okay, I am seeing my boyfriendand he's glistening and you're
glowing and you're pumping allthis weight and you're glowing
and you're pumping all thisweight and it's just, it's a
(07:44):
very attractive moment.
Okay, so I'm trying to captureand just have this moment
connection with you and you justwere not having it.
You were just trying to getyour sweat on and go to the gym
and I was totally just not eventhere.
So you do, you do say you'remessing up my heart rate and
(08:06):
then you kept going, like youdidn't pause you just in one
swift breath.
You're messing up my heart rate.
You kept on your sweat and Isaid, oh, snap, um.
That's humiliating, that'sembarrassing.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I feel foolish, I'm going to leave she was afraid
that everybody heard me tell herthat I was messing up her heart
it was okay.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
So, yes, it was multi-layered in the sense that,
a I thought I was humiliated inpublic and that was one of our
big aha moments, like we don'twant to have these conversations
in public where humiliation canbe present.
B I was like discovering forthe first time that this was a
hormonal thing.
I was very edgy and irritableand emotion, highly emotional,
(08:43):
at this stage of the month, andwe realized that after I blew up
at the parking lot, you know,on the drive home, I was like,
oh snap, I think that was notthat big of a deal, and it
totally was.
And then, number three, Ithought that we were both
playing when you were justworking out.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I definitely take some of the heat there for being
oblivious to being flirty andhaving fun at the gym.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I was not on that at all.
I was being the good Christianboy and not.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
So then, when we got married and we got a gym
membership, and then we would goto the gym together.
That was awesome.
I totally just did not talk toyou.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I was like no, I just said that was awesome.
I was like she's like no,because I purposely did not
flirt with you.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I purposely did not flirt, because now you're
looking at me now you got, nowyou're looking at me as a wife
and now you're like oh, she'shot, like oh, like she's
sweating, like my whole dessertyou know exactly, and I was just
like nope, nope, absolutely not, you will not, uh, you will not
talk to me.
I will not talk to you, like,please get away from me.
And so now, every time we go tothe gym, every time we go to
(09:49):
the gym, I tell kyle kyle,you're messing up my heart rate,
you're messing up my heart rate, kyle, please back away.
And it's become a joke now.
Yeah, but anyways, we say allthat, to say going to the gym
together or going separate canaffect your marriage.
Yeah, in a good way or in a badway so what else do couples
screw up?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I think the um.
They screw up the, the shamingof health, like trying to like
negatively.
Like you should go to the gym,then You're going to complain
about your weight.
You should go to the gym.
You should do this.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Shame when it comes to health.
What you eat, how often you eat, what you drink snacks at
nighttime like if you'retogether, it's just you know
what you think is healthy mightnot be what your spouse thinks
is healthy.
Yeah, and because you guys arenow married, some partners might
(10:40):
feel like an obligation or aresponsibility to not just make
healthy choices but to forcetheir partner to make healthy
choices, as according to whatthey think, is healthy, and if
they're not in alignment withwhatever their partner is trying
to control in that area, thenthere can be strife, there can
(11:02):
be rift, there can be distance,there can be you don't
understand me there can be ahuge disconnect.
All because of that.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Insecurity.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
You don't think I'm attractive, or he's always
talking about what I'm eating,like he's worried about me, what
I'm eating like he's worriedabout me getting fat, like yeah
why is he talking to me likethat?
yeah, or she's.
She always complains about mejust sitting on the couch and
watching sports or notexercising or not doing, um, not
working out like I used to, andyou get these insecurities
going and it's just like justhad children, as a as a woman,
(11:34):
you just had babies and it'slike your body's not snatching
the way it used to and you're.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
It's hard to get back on track and your whole
schedule's off.
It's hard to work out, but thenyou see your husband working
out and you start to feel likesome kind of way of wow, I wish
I can have that, you know, startto get resentful because you're
starting to feel like if feellike they have the freedom to go
and do that, but I'm tied withkids and I can't do it.
And I'm trying and it's hardand my body's not the same.
(12:01):
And just so many things, bro,so many avenues that this one
topic can turn into.
But, like I said, couples don'trealize it and they don't sit
and talk about it.
They don't cast that vision tobe like what is important to you
and how can I support you?
You know, yeah.
I want to say another problem,since it's fresh in my head,
(12:23):
yeah, and that is you feeldependent on your partner to
become healthy, okay.
So, for example, I like this isa general example, this is not
what's happening right now, butI want to lose weight, selena
wants to lose weight, okay, andso, therefore, selena has to
look at you know what she eatsand the portions that she eats
(12:46):
and she has to look at how oftenshe works out.
So now Selena is saying Kyle,this is what I want to do.
Let's do it together.
This is what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Let's do it together this is what we got to do
exactly like.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
this is what we have to do.
So now, all of a sudden, kyle'snot eating carbs anymore
because selena wants to go on adiet, or kyle needs to work out
when selena wants to work out,because that's going to help me,
that's going to keep meaccountable, and, before you
know it, you're forcing yourpartner into something that they
didn't necessarily sign up for.
(13:19):
They want to support you, butyou're forcing them to support
you in a way that's affectingtheir whole life and their whole
choices Negatively, exactly,and they didn't exactly sign up
for that.
And now they feel bad becausethey're like, well, I want to be
there for you, but I didn'tsign up for this.
Like, well, I want to be therefor you, but I didn't sign up
for this.
I don't want to do this, andyou're basically just shifting
this blame and shifting this.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
you're, you're being dependent on your partner it
could definitely open up thewrong ways.
Another resentment exactly sheforced me into this.
She's you know what now?
Now she wants to have saladsall the time.
So now, guess who's havingsalads all the time?
This guy, right, you know whohates salads.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Kyle hates like in real life guys.
Kyle hates salads.
He's so mad when I have to putkale in something.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Well, you know, we all have our weaknesses.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Salads and kale.
Keep them off of my plate.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Keep them off the plate.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, every once in a while.
Plate no, every once in a while, like every once in a while
like this these last coupleweeks where it's been just hot.
I crave like a nice salad withsome good chicken and ranch and
cheese that's summer like a, butI always crave like an
antipasto, like a nice with withthe meat and the cheese and the
whole side note have you heardthe tiktok saga of the antipasto
lady?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
no okay, I won't go into it.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But really the question is why does health
matter, like we're talking aboutlegacy, like you're talking
about big?
When I think of legacy, I thinkof like big lasting impression,
lasting impact that you made inthe world for Christ through
your health.
Does that make sense?
Does it go in this category?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this
episode, and right now we wantto just take a small minute to
introduce to you the latestthing that we created to help
you elevate your relationshipand take it to the next level.
It's called the Love by FaithPlaybook.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Every good coach knows they have to have winning
plays.
We went through our foundationseries and we pulled out some of
the best winning plays andcreated strategies for you guys.
Plays like how to be betterfinancially, how to do ministry
together, how to be betterromantically, how to be better
family life.
We went through all thesedifferent areas from the
foundation series and put ittogether in a playbook.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
So grab your Love by Faith Playbook today.
You can use the link in thedescription below, enter it, and
the good news about this isthat it is a living document, so
you download it one time andevery single month we're going
to be updating this document togive you fresh, new plays to
help you and your partner Loveby Faith and create a winning
(15:53):
season.
Go ahead and get your Love byFaith playbook now and let's get
back into this episode.
So you're asking how health isas important in lasting legacy
as friendships and family.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, how does this fit into the big legacy talk?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
It fits into the big legacy talk, because what you do
today affects your tomorrow.
Right, it goes with.
Same goes with health.
If you're going to treatyourself poorly, if you're going
to give up on yourselfhealth-wise, then how are you
ever going to be healthy enoughto, like I said, have a
(16:37):
long-lasting relationship?
One of the things that I haveseen is, as marriages get older
and as they grow older, healthcomplications become more common
.
Right, okay, yeah, andeventually, if you're serious,
if you're a Christian couplewho's serious about marriage,
(16:57):
then, you took the vow insickness and in health.
That is a vow, that is a lastinglegacy.
So, in sickness and in health,I would much rather love you in
good health than to love youthrough sickness.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And so what?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
you choose today in your health is going to affect
that, and, as we talked aboutall the problems in earlier in
this episode, those problems canlead to rifts and drifts in
your marriage.
And so how do you create alasting legacy in your health?
You have to really ask yourselfhow important is health to you?
(17:38):
Are you being selfish andprideful in assuming that you
don't have to think about it,don't have to think about your
choices, that you could justsimply worry about it later and
think that it's not going toaffect how your wife or how your
husband is feeling?
Or are they worried?
Because I know for me, I wouldlike to think that I'm not as
(18:01):
healthy as you are, kyle.
I feel like every time when Igo to the doctor, they find
something wrong, where, comparedto you, they're like we'll see
you in 10 years, you're fine,get out of my office, there's
nothing wrong with you.
And if I left that unchecked,okay, if I did not take
supplements, if I did not movemy body, if I did not give
(18:23):
frequent checks and tests doneand make sure that everything's
healthy, then how would thatlook 10 years from now?
Right, how would that affectour marriage?
How would that affect you.
You know, if I didn't, if I wasworried about being sick and I
did nothing about it and I justcontinued to deteriorate, how
would that affect our marriage?
(18:43):
How would that affect ourfamily, you know?
And so what I have to do todayis 100%.
I'm thinking of it with theconsideration of you.
(19:11):
I'm thinking of it with aconsideration of how long do I
want this to go on.
I'm thinking of it with theconsideration body and I'm
choosing not to take supplementsand I'm choosing not to stretch
and not to do things for myselfthat's going to put me in a
better quality of health.
Then all of those dreams canjust go out the window,
absolutely.
I think part of loving yourpartner is loving yourself
(19:35):
enough to take care of yourselfin a health standpoint.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I always think of it when I think of my health.
Legacy is that my body is notmy own.
My body is for the Lord.
My body is the Lord's and, bybeing married to you, my body is
yours.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, that's Bible, that's scripture.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I am taking care of the Lord's body.
I am taking care of Selena'sbody by exercising, by staying
healthy.
I'm giving by putting in thetime and effort to be healthy,
to eat well, to not overeat, tomaintain myself.
I am giving the Lord more days,not giving him more days, but
(20:13):
I'm giving this body more daysto be here to do things for the
Lord to do work for the Lord.
I'm giving this body morechances, more time to, while
it's here on earth, to do morefor my wife, for my kids, to
minister, to strangers, to give,to earn, to give.
And so a health legacy is alegacy of longevity, is a legacy
(20:35):
of having time to pour out forthe Lord is building into the
rest of it.
Right, I think I mean, thiscould have been our week one
episode of this series.
You could have started withhealth and about how health is
going to give you a chance topour into your family.
More Health is going to giveyou a chance to pour into your
ministry.
More Health is going to giveyou a chance to pour into your
(20:56):
family.
More health is going to giveyou a chance to pour into your
ministry more health is going togive you a chance to pour into
your friendships more?
yes, right, yes.
And so in this series wherewe're talking about legacy,
we're talking about lastinghealth, is is the key to lasting
right, even and even just thehealthy mind.
Like we, we read for recreation, to keep our mind sharp, to
keep learning new things.
I was going to say mind Growing.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
I was going to say mental health is definitely part
of maintaining your health.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I talked about this before and I'm going to share
now publicly, and that is inthis day and age.
It is almost ludicrous to thinkand assume that everyone does
like.
We all need a mental healthcheckup at some point in our
life everyone is battlingsomething in their mental health
(21:44):
everyone is going throughsomething mentally.
I mean, if not from 9-11 on,you know, if not from the wars
and the political things thatare happening, that would put
stress on you alone and evenjust the anxiety of the current
economic situation.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
What's happening?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
we've all gone through something yeah and and
and.
To not consider mental healthand getting a at least one
checkup in your life regardingyour mental health is just like
saying I can grow up and nevergo for a physical checkup.
I don't need a physical checkupbecause I'm healthy.
I don't need it and we've allgone through at least one
(22:23):
physical checkup.
Why would you not go through atleast one mental health checkup
, even just to hear the doctorsay get out of my office, I'll
see you in 10 years.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
And so it's just as important.
I was going to touch on that,so I'm glad that you did touch
on that I'm going to share partof my testimony, that kind of
kind of sucks.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Okay, it's.
It's not my, it's part of mytestimony because it has to do
with my parents.
Okay, and my parents, um, bothdied young.
They both were called up toheaven, I think long before they
were supposed to Right.
But God knows the timing.
God's timing is perfect.
I trust that.
But the reason they were calledup early, as hard as it is for
(23:04):
me to say and people might notagree with it, but they didn't
take care of their body.
They did what they wanted, theylived how they wanted to live,
they loved the Lord, but theydidn't always live for the Lord,
right, and at the end of theirlives they were doing their best
, but all the choices they madein their young life, in their
(23:27):
young times, in their 20s and30s, caught up to them yeah and
it and it cost them those, thosesmiles with their grandkids,
and those those times that wetalk about the, the, the travel,
the retirement lifestyle, thatwe pray one day, you know, to
just be full-time doing andenjoying.
(23:51):
And it's tough, man.
It's tough to see how importantyou know I'm going back to what
I said before how importantthat health legacy really is.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Absolutely, it's part of that foundation.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Of your relationship.
Yes, you want to have a longrelationship.
You want to have a lastingrelationship.
You want to have a lastingrelationship.
You got to take care ofyourself to get there.
You can't get to the end by notpaving the road nicely at the
beginning.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Yeah, Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, I remember a few yearsago I had some really bad back
issues, really bad back pain,and the back pain was connected.
It went down to the hips, itwent down to the hips, it went
down to my knee, it went down tomy feet Like I couldn't walk.
I was wearing a boot six monthsof the year, I was going to a
(24:38):
bunch of doctors and we justcouldn't figure it out.
And I think it was because ofpregnancy and the childbearing
experience.
But I it got to a point where Icouldn't play on the playground
with my kids.
It got to the point where Icouldn't walk barefoot.
So if we went to a water park Isat out because I couldn't walk
without proper supported shoes.
And it got to the point where Istarted to fear that going to
(25:01):
see the Grand Canyon or going tohike somewhere with you or with
children was going to becomeimpossible.
And it really scared me becauseI was so young and it just it
really scared me to think thatthose dreams were going to just
become vapors in the wind.
And you know, thank God wefigured it out.
(25:22):
I went to a personal trainerPope Fitness, you know trainer
you shout out your trainer.
And Travis Professor Travis, mytrainer and for what they did
and just helping me understandthat.
You know, lifting weights washelping my core and helping my
back and once I figured this out, I really tried to make an
(25:46):
effort to keep that going in mylife.
And for people who lift weights, for people who go jogging, for
people who eat clean, forpeople who take supplements like
essential oils, all the thingsthat you're doing for your
health in moderation we don'twant to make idols of these
things.
We don't want to do thesethings in place of seeking God
(26:06):
and depending on God for ourhealing and all of our things.
But to do it in moderation andto do it in balance is to keep
those dreams alive, like yousaid, with your parents, so that
they don't live short, so thatthey don't die young.
Like I said for everyone whogets married, you're getting
(26:28):
married with dreams.
You're getting married withthese intentions and these
thoughts and these desires ofyour heart that you want to see
things come to fruition.
And these choices that we makenow is really going to affect
that what you do in your healthand how you do it.
(26:49):
I think number one, you got toshare your goals with your
partner.
You got to let them know If youhave a concern with your
partner.
It's really important to talkabout those concerns because
maybe they don't even realizethat it's keeping you up at
night, maybe Kyle eating Oreosevery single night, which?
Speaker 1 (27:08):
is something he does.
I don't eat them every singlenight.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
You do it a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Carry on.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Five out of the seven days no folks Keep this moving.
But okay, here's real talk, realtalk, testimony here.
It used to concern me.
I used to be like he's going tohave a heart attack because
he's eating Oreos.
But when we talk about theoverall things, you know, when
we talk, when we, when Kyle andI sat down and he shares with me
, like this is how many stepsI'm getting a day, like I'm
(27:36):
really active, I work out, I dothese other things in my life to
keep me healthy.
These Oreos are not is notgoing to jeopardize that, you
know.
Then it makes me see the biggerpicture.
But you might be at homeworrying about your spouse
because you don't see the bigpicture.
So having a conversation aboutyou know, these are my goals,
(27:56):
these are what this is what I'mconcerned with.
Or honey, this is what I'mconcerned at regarding you, you
know, talking about your healthgoals, talking about what you
want your health life to looklike and how your partner can
contribute to that, or how youguys can do it together.
Or maybe you need extra things,like getting a personal trainer
was not cheap.
(28:17):
You know getting supplements isnot cheap.
No, it's an investment you know, sometimes you might have to
put in some investing to reallysee ultimate results and to
really get you know.
Maybe surgery is one of thoseoptions and you have to really
sit down and talk about it withyour partner, because what do
you, what is the lasting legacythat you're trying to have and
(28:37):
what steps do you have to taketo get there?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And even if it's just for me, if it was just surface,
where my wife wants thiscosmetic thing to love herself
better for me and you, I'mwilling to say yes to that.
If it helps your mental healthand helps you love yourself
better, I'm down, I'm willing toinvest in that because it's
going to pay off in your peace,in your you know mental health
(29:04):
cosmetic or, you know,counseling, you know things that
are outside of the healthinsurance spectrum.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
All those things is really important to help you see
and help you feel good aboutyourself.
Because, let's be honest, whenyou take care of yourself, your
ultimate health, your whenyou're at your optimal, when
you're at your peak level thataffects your marriage in a great
way.
(29:32):
Who wouldn't want that?
Who wouldn't want thehealthiest, happiest, most
energetic content person astheir partner, who feels good
about themselves, who loves theway that they look?
They're going to bring thatinto your bedroom when it's
bedtime.
(29:52):
You know what I'm saying.
They're going to bring thatinto the present time when
you've got to connect with yourkids or when you've got to
connect with each other on datenights.
That's going to bringthemselves into just feeling
like I can do all the things.
It's going to push you guys tomake more goals.
It's going to push you to focuson other things.
It's going to push you to getout of your house and enjoy each
(30:14):
other more.
It's going to push you to domore with each other, to be more
connected with each other.
So why wouldn't you want toencourage your partner to reach
that ultimate health?
By all means?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I'll finish with this thought, and it's one that it
goes back to working together.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Right.
We have to empower our partner.
We have to.
You want accountability fromyour partner.
If they ask you foraccountability, you have to be
real clear on what thataccountability looks like.
You have to be real clear onwhat that support looks like and
what you want Like.
I would tell you if I wantaccountability, I don't want you
to question every food choice Imake right.
I want you to help me, whenwe're making groceries, to be
(30:55):
like let's make this choice,let's do that, let's make this
meal.
You know, let's kick this intobreakfast instead of that.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Can I say one thing right here yeah.
If you can't be thataccountability person, that your
partner wants you to be.
You need to share that too.
Okay, Like if you're saying Iwant you to keep me accountable
and you're like, every time youask me to do that, it doesn't
end well, I don't think I shouldbe the one to do it.
I think you should find adifferent person.
(31:24):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Like I think you should.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I think you should find a different person.
That's great.
I think you should make thatclear, just as you're being
clear about this is how I needto be accountable.
You might not be the one to doit and be okay with sharing that
.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
And then I think the final piece that goes with that
is to pray Pray for yourself,pray for your partner, pray for
your health situation, so thatthe Lord will guide you and the
Lord, the Holy, will show youwhat you need to be doing, what
you can do better, what you needto let go of.
Yes, and don't skip that step.
Yes, because it will.
He will speak to you.
(31:56):
Because it is his body to useand to have and to make how he
wants it.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, he's in it.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
He will be there to speak to you in that and speak
to you about your partner, ifthat's what he needs to do too,
yeah, don't be afraid to prayover your health, over your
partner's health.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
In Jesus name.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Amen.
That's great, kyle.
You're so right on all of thosethings and all of those closing
points you know, especiallywith the power of prayer and
just having the Holy Spirit helpus tell us how we can become
healthier people.
A lot of the times the desireis there but the how is missing
(32:35):
and the Holy Spirit can help youconnect that.
He's done it multiple timeswith us and so just speaking
from testimony of that, so thankyou for sharing that.
I think this is a greatstopping point to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
And so just speaking from, testimony of that.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
So thank you for sharing that.
I think this is a greatstopping point to talk about it,
because obviously we can go onand on and on about health, but
we just wanted to get your gearskind of moving to help you see
how this should be a legacypoint for you to talk with your
partner on, and we hope that youdo that.
We hope that this encouragesyou to make some healthier
choices and get some healthygoals together in your marriage
(33:10):
so that you can love by faithwith your temple.
So, kyle, why don't you goahead and pray us out?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Let's do it.
Lord, we're grateful, we thankyou today that you have given us
life in this body, Lord, thatyou've given us new life through
your son, Jesus and through theforgiveness of sins.
Lord, I pray for all thoselistening, Lord, that they would
take health and wellnessseriously, that they would take
their mental health as seriouslyas they take their physical
(33:38):
health.
That they would do it forthemselves, that they would do
it for you, they would do it fortheir partner, Lord.
We give you glory.
Lord, I pray today for allthose people who are struggling,
that you would give themcourage, that you would give
them hope, Lord, that you wouldgive them an answered prayer
today over their health legacy.
I pray for all those people whoare here with us, together,
(34:02):
walking this walk, fighting thisfight to leave a lasting legacy
of a healthy life In Jesus'sname, amen.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Amen.
Thank you so much for tuning into Love by Faith.
If you are listening on Appleor Spotify or iHeart or Amazon
or wherever YouTube music, thenplease give us a great review
five stars so that other peoplelike you can find us and learn
how to love by faith as well.
If you're watching on youtube,please like, share, subscribe.
(34:31):
Thank you guys for being asubscriber.
Don't forget you guys can getso many quick and easy resources
free at your fingertips throughthe love by faith playbook.
We are working on a newresource for you as well to help
you with all of these legacies,to create a vision for legacies
, so make sure that you click onthat resource link below in the
(34:53):
description and you can get alltypes of things to help you how
to communicate love and growyour faith in the process.
That's right.
Make sure you tune in again nextweek for another episode of
Love by Faith.
We hope to see you then.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Take care, see ya, bye, love, by Faith.
We hope to see you then.
Take care.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
See ya Bye.
Love by Faith y'all, love byFaith y'all.
So the antipasto salad.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Antipasto salad.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
The antipasto salad Not antipasto, antipasto.
Antipasta.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Yeah, before the pasta Antipasta.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Can someone explain?
I don't understand the wholeterminology of antipasta.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
It's Italian, it's literally antipasta, like before
the pasta.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
You get the salad before the pasta.
Yeah, even though there's pastain the salad.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
No, there's no pasta in the salad.
What is in the salad?
Lettuce cheese meat veggiesdressing?
No, there's no pasta in thesalad.
What is in the salad?
Lettuce cheese meat veggiesdressing.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
What is in an antipasta salad?
Speaker 1 (35:55):
in the american antipasta salad.
That's all I know.
Okay, we got like usually thepepperoni, and there's sometimes
they'll do like ham or turkey,right, and then cheese, tomato
Right, olives, if that's yourthing, banana peppers if that's
your thing.
It's crazy and there's no sign.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
There's no sign of lettuce, and lettuce, yeah,
lettuce is the base.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Are you sure?
A thousand percent.
Okay, so I used to work in apizza shop.
Okay, yes, you just rolled youreyes at me, so
We're going to talk about our health being healthy.
What kind of health life legacyare you trying to leave?
You should go to the gym.
Then You're going to complainabout your weight.
You should go to the gym.
She wants to have salads allthe time.
So now guess who's havingsalads all the time?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
If you're going to treat yourself poorly, if you're
going to give up on yourselfhealth-wise, then how are you
ever going to be healthy enoughto have a long-lasting
relationship?
We, long lasting relationship.
We're not perfect people by anymeans, but by trusting in God,
we learned what it takes tobuild a friendship, a
relationship and marriage thathas stood the test of time.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
With a keeping it real style.
We're going to talk to youabout everything everything that
we've been through are goingthrough and have overcome.
Overcome all by learning how tolean on God and each other in
order to help you learn how tolove by faith Good evening.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Dan Rather here.
Who's Dan Rather?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
good evening dan rather here who's, dan rather
this is like 60 minutes dudewhat?
Yeah, there's an actual guyyeah, there's a host of 60
minutes.
I thought it was just anarrator no, there's a like a
talking head who starts it.
No way, yeah, I never watchedit as like a lot as a kid, but I
remember it was always like onafter football.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
You know who I always used to see.
My dad was super big on PeterJennings.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Peter Jennings PBS.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
No, it was ABC News Tonight with Peter Jennings.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It came on at like six o'clock news Six o'clock
news with.
Peter Jennings and my dad wasso obsessed with him and I think
he he died of cancer like hestepped down from his role and
died with like he passed in that, yeah, man when's the last time
you watched the news?
You know what I do as I get themorning brew I did post the
(01:57):
morning brew in one of theprevious episodes okay and it's
like a daily um news fee thatyou get in your email and that
to me, me is my more.
That's my world news tonight.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's my world news in the morning with morning brew.
So shout out to morning brew.
But it's just.
It just gives you the worldnews, gives you everything from
stocks to finances.
So what's going on in the world?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
in pop culture.
What's going on in?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
political world, all the things all wrapped up into a
lovely bulb Awesome.
Let's go.
Let's dive in.
Let's dive right in.
Welcome.
Welcome everyone to Love byFaith, selena and Kyle, and
we're happy that you guys arehere.
If you're listening for thefirst time, welcome If you've
been with us for a while youknow I'm playing.
Let's go, we're going.
You know it is what it is.
(02:37):
We're mid-deep into our lastseries of season two and that is
legacy.
Okay, so we talked aboutfriends, we talked about family
and how your legacy is important, how you can leave a lasting
impression in these areas inyour relationship and how it can
(02:58):
just create a ripple ofgoodness into the world.
And this episode we are goingto switch a little gears out of
the relationships, but still howit's going to affect your
marriage and how it's going toaffect your, your core
relationship moving forward, andthat is.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Let me say yeah, Health.
We're talking about our healthbeing healthy.
What kind of health life legacyare you trying to leave?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
What kind of health legacy are you trying to leave?
What kind of health legacy areyou trying to leave?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
And more instead leave.
What kind of health legacy areyou trying to live?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yes, right, yes, our body's a temple.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
The Lord wants us to take care of it.
Lord wants us to make the mostand have a healthy body so that
we can do the most that we canfor the kingdom.
Yes, right.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So that he can get the best out of us.
Amen.
Also, with that, I think thatwithin your relationship, health
is one of those things that youdon't really talk about.
You hardly talk about health.
When it comes to yourrelationship standpoint and your
setting standpoint, you eitherwork out together or, once you
get married, you kind of gain alittle bit of weight, or you
kind of have the ups and downsbut nobody really talks about,
nobody really has a sit downmoment, weight.
Or you, you know, you kind ofhave the ups and downs but
nobody really talks about,nobody really has a sit down
(04:07):
moment, and say, like, what arethe health goals?
What are we trying to reach?
Um, I'm concerned for yourhealth, or you know how your
health is going to leave alasting impression based on the
health choices that you maketoday.
I don't know about you, but Iwant you to live till at least
90, like maybe that's selfish,but I want you to live long,
right, because I want to have along life with you and I think a
(04:29):
lot of what you do with yourhealth will affect that.
I just feel like, if I trulylove you and I love you so much
that I don't want to think oflife without you, and your
health has a major effect onthat, depending on how long you
(04:51):
live, and so it's an importantthing to talk about as couples,
because what you want and whatcould be is often affected to
this.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
But what I want is just to lift heavy every day and
drink protein shakes and have22-inch pythons like Hulk.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Hogan.
Okay, so this is interestingbecause this health choice
affects your marriage in so manyways as well, not just in
longevity, but you wanting to bea gym rat affects your
testosterone.
It affects how much you needout of your wife because of the
(05:31):
testosterone.
It affects the time away fromthe house because you're packing
and you're lifting and you'redoing all the things.
It affects your energy levels.
All of the things can beaffected simply from this one
health choice but we went to thegym together like two times
when well, once when we weredating and we got mad at each
(05:52):
other because I was trying tolive and you were.
You have to tell the whole storyyou.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You always correct me when I'm telling the story do
you want me to tell the story?
No, I'll tell it from how Iremember.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I'm not gonna say nothing from how I remember.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I will listen is like let's work out together, and
I'm like that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It's a great day.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I love to to lift, I love to exercise.
I've always have yes right, yes, and so we set up the time.
All right, meet at 6 am.
I'm gonna go to the gym yes,get a lift in, got it.
I'm thinking I'm gonna go tothe gym and get a lift in.
Yes, she's thinking we're gonnago to the gym and get a lift in
.
Yes, she's thinking we're goingto go to the gym and flirt and
be silly together.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It was a date.
Of course I want you to woo me.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Okay, want you to woo me.
We had two different agendashappening right there.
We didn't know, I wanted to wooher by showing her I could pick
up.
Go back to the communication260 pounds To learn how to
better communicate.
Lifting, get a good jog, get agood sweat going.
We did good, get the heart rategoing, we were down to the floor
exercises and she just keepscoming over and stopping me and
(06:49):
she's like doing her thing overhere and I'm doing my thing over
there, quiet, and I'm like youknow, checking her out across
the gym.
It's awesome, it's going, goinggood.
And then I remember how shecomes up and stops me and I'm
like you're messing up my heartrate and she's got got all
grumpy mad Not even just grumpy,she got mad that I told her to
stop talking and let's keepworking.
(07:10):
And I think that was one of ourfirst fights, one of our first
squabbles, if you would.
How do you remember it?
You got that.
Look like I'm totally wrong.
I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
No, I'm not saying nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You have that.
Look, I'm not saying that.
You have that.
Look, I'm not saying nothing.
Tell the people how I got it.
There was a floor.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
We were both on the mat doing like ab workout stuff
and it's like my least favoritesubject in gym.
Nobody wants to do the abs.
And I was being flirtatious.
Okay, I am seeing my boyfriendand he's glistening and you're
glowing and you're pumping allthis weight and you're glowing
and you're pumping all thisweight and it's just, it's a
(07:44):
very attractive moment.
Okay, so I'm trying to captureand just have this moment
connection with you and you justwere not having it.
You were just trying to getyour sweat on and go to the gym
and I was totally just not eventhere.
So you do, you do say you'remessing up my heart rate and
(08:06):
then you kept going, like youdidn't pause you just in one
swift breath.
You're messing up my heart rate.
You kept on your sweat and Isaid, oh, snap, um.
That's humiliating, that'sembarrassing.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I feel foolish, I'm going to leave she was afraid
that everybody heard me tell herthat I was messing up her heart
it was okay.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
So, yes, it was multi-layered in the sense that,
a I thought I was humiliated inpublic and that was one of our
big aha moments, like we don'twant to have these conversations
in public where humiliation canbe present.
B I was like discovering forthe first time that this was a
hormonal thing.
I was very edgy and irritableand emotion, highly emotional,
(08:43):
at this stage of the month, andwe realized that after I blew up
at the parking lot, you know,on the drive home, I was like,
oh snap, I think that was notthat big of a deal, and it
totally was.
And then, number three, Ithought that we were both
playing when you were justworking out.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I definitely take some of the heat there for being
oblivious to being flirty andhaving fun at the gym.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I was not on that at all.
I was being the good Christianboy and not.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
So then, when we got married and we got a gym
membership, and then we would goto the gym together.
That was awesome.
I totally just did not talk toyou.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I was like no, I just said that was awesome.
I was like she's like no,because I purposely did not
flirt with you.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I purposely did not flirt, because now you're
looking at me now you got, nowyou're looking at me as a wife
and now you're like oh, she'shot, like oh, like she's
sweating, like my whole dessertyou know exactly, and I was just
like nope, nope, absolutely not, you will not, uh, you will not
talk to me.
I will not talk to you, like,please get away from me.
And so now, every time we go tothe gym, every time we go to
(09:49):
the gym, I tell kyle kyle,you're messing up my heart rate,
you're messing up my heart rate, kyle, please back away.
And it's become a joke now.
Yeah, but anyways, we say allthat, to say going to the gym
together or going separate canaffect your marriage.
Yeah, in a good way or in a badway so what else do couples
screw up?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I think the um.
They screw up the, the shamingof health, like trying to like
negatively.
Like you should go to the gym,then You're going to complain
about your weight.
You should go to the gym.
You should do this.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Shame when it comes to health.
What you eat, how often you eat, what you drink snacks at
nighttime like if you'retogether, it's just you know
what you think is healthy mightnot be what your spouse thinks
is healthy.
Yeah, and because you guys arenow married, some partners might
(10:40):
feel like an obligation or aresponsibility to not just make
healthy choices but to forcetheir partner to make healthy
choices, as according to whatthey think, is healthy, and if
they're not in alignment withwhatever their partner is trying
to control in that area, thenthere can be strife, there can
(11:02):
be rift, there can be distance,there can be you don't
understand me there can be ahuge disconnect.
All because of that.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Insecurity.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
You don't think I'm attractive, or he's always
talking about what I'm eating,like he's worried about me, what
I'm eating like he's worriedabout me getting fat, like yeah
why is he talking to me likethat?
yeah, or she's.
She always complains about mejust sitting on the couch and
watching sports or notexercising or not doing, um, not
working out like I used to, andyou get these insecurities
going and it's just like justhad children, as a as a woman,
(11:34):
you just had babies and it'slike your body's not snatching
the way it used to and you're.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
It's hard to get back on track and your whole
schedule's off.
It's hard to work out, but thenyou see your husband working
out and you start to feel likesome kind of way of wow, I wish
I can have that, you know, startto get resentful because you're
starting to feel like if feellike they have the freedom to go
and do that, but I'm tied withkids and I can't do it.
And I'm trying and it's hardand my body's not the same.
(12:01):
And just so many things, bro,so many avenues that this one
topic can turn into.
But, like I said, couples don'trealize it and they don't sit
and talk about it.
They don't cast that vision tobe like what is important to you
and how can I support you?
You know, yeah.
I want to say another problem,since it's fresh in my head,
(12:23):
yeah, and that is you feeldependent on your partner to
become healthy, okay.
So, for example, I like this isa general example, this is not
what's happening right now, butI want to lose weight, selena
wants to lose weight, okay, andso, therefore, selena has to
look at you know what she eatsand the portions that she eats
(12:46):
and she has to look at how oftenshe works out.
So now Selena is saying Kyle,this is what I want to do.
Let's do it together.
This is what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Let's do it together this is what we got to do
exactly like.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
this is what we have to do.
So now, all of a sudden, kyle'snot eating carbs anymore
because selena wants to go on adiet, or kyle needs to work out
when selena wants to work out,because that's going to help me,
that's going to keep meaccountable, and, before you
know it, you're forcing yourpartner into something that they
didn't necessarily sign up for.
(13:19):
They want to support you, butyou're forcing them to support
you in a way that's affectingtheir whole life and their whole
choices Negatively, exactly,and they didn't exactly sign up
for that.
And now they feel bad becausethey're like, well, I want to be
there for you, but I didn'tsign up for this.
Like, well, I want to be therefor you, but I didn't sign up
for this.
I don't want to do this, andyou're basically just shifting
this blame and shifting this.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
you're, you're being dependent on your partner it
could definitely open up thewrong ways.
Another resentment exactly sheforced me into this.
She's you know what now?
Now she wants to have saladsall the time.
So now, guess who's havingsalads all the time?
This guy, right, you know whohates salads.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Kyle hates like in real life guys.
Kyle hates salads.
He's so mad when I have to putkale in something.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Well, you know, we all have our weaknesses.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Salads and kale.
Keep them off of my plate.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Keep them off the plate.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, every once in a while.
Plate no, every once in a while, like every once in a while
like this these last coupleweeks where it's been just hot.
I crave like a nice salad withsome good chicken and ranch and
cheese that's summer like a, butI always crave like an
antipasto, like a nice with withthe meat and the cheese and the
whole side note have you heardthe tiktok saga of the antipasto
lady?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
no okay, I won't go into it.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But really the question is why does health
matter, like we're talking aboutlegacy, like you're talking
about big?
When I think of legacy, I thinkof like big lasting impression,
lasting impact that you made inthe world for Christ through
your health.
Does that make sense?
Does it go in this category?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this
episode, and right now we wantto just take a small minute to
introduce to you the latestthing that we created to help
you elevate your relationshipand take it to the next level.
It's called the Love by FaithPlaybook.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Every good coach knows they have to have winning
plays.
We went through our foundationseries and we pulled out some of
the best winning plays andcreated strategies for you guys.
Plays like how to be betterfinancially, how to do ministry
together, how to be betterromantically, how to be better
family life.
We went through all thesedifferent areas from the
foundation series and put ittogether in a playbook.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
So grab your Love by Faith Playbook today.
You can use the link in thedescription below, enter it, and
the good news about this isthat it is a living document, so
you download it one time andevery single month we're going
to be updating this document togive you fresh, new plays to
help you and your partner Loveby Faith and create a winning
(15:53):
season.
Go ahead and get your Love byFaith playbook now and let's get
back into this episode.
So you're asking how health isas important in lasting legacy
as friendships and family.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, how does this fit into the big legacy talk?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
It fits into the big legacy talk, because what you do
today affects your tomorrow.
Right, it goes with.
Same goes with health.
If you're going to treatyourself poorly, if you're going
to give up on yourselfhealth-wise, then how are you
ever going to be healthy enoughto, like I said, have a
(16:37):
long-lasting relationship?
One of the things that I haveseen is, as marriages get older
and as they grow older, healthcomplications become more common
.
Right, okay, yeah, andeventually, if you're serious,
if you're a Christian couplewho's serious about marriage,
(16:57):
then, you took the vow insickness and in health.
That is a vow, that is a lastinglegacy.
So, in sickness and in health,I would much rather love you in
good health than to love youthrough sickness.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And so what?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
you choose today in your health is going to affect
that, and, as we talked aboutall the problems in earlier in
this episode, those problems canlead to rifts and drifts in
your marriage.
And so how do you create alasting legacy in your health?
You have to really ask yourselfhow important is health to you?
(17:38):
Are you being selfish andprideful in assuming that you
don't have to think about it,don't have to think about your
choices, that you could justsimply worry about it later and
think that it's not going toaffect how your wife or how your
husband is feeling?
Or are they worried?
Because I know for me, I wouldlike to think that I'm not as
(18:01):
healthy as you are, kyle.
I feel like every time when Igo to the doctor, they find
something wrong, where, comparedto you, they're like we'll see
you in 10 years, you're fine,get out of my office, there's
nothing wrong with you.
And if I left that unchecked,okay, if I did not take
supplements, if I did not movemy body, if I did not give
(18:23):
frequent checks and tests doneand make sure that everything's
healthy, then how would thatlook 10 years from now?
Right, how would that affectour marriage?
How would that affect you.
You know, if I didn't, if I wasworried about being sick and I
did nothing about it and I justcontinued to deteriorate, how
would that affect our marriage?
(18:43):
How would that affect ourfamily, you know?
And so what I have to do todayis 100%.
I'm thinking of it with theconsideration of you.
(19:11):
I'm thinking of it with aconsideration of how long do I
want this to go on.
I'm thinking of it with theconsideration body and I'm
choosing not to take supplementsand I'm choosing not to stretch
and not to do things for myselfthat's going to put me in a
better quality of health.
Then all of those dreams canjust go out the window,
absolutely.
I think part of loving yourpartner is loving yourself
(19:35):
enough to take care of yourselfin a health standpoint.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I always think of it when I think of my health.
Legacy is that my body is notmy own.
My body is for the Lord.
My body is the Lord's and, bybeing married to you, my body is
yours.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, that's Bible, that's scripture.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
I am taking care of the Lord's body.
I am taking care of Selena'sbody by exercising, by staying
healthy.
I'm giving by putting in thetime and effort to be healthy,
to eat well, to not overeat, tomaintain myself.
I am giving the Lord more days,not giving him more days, but
(20:13):
I'm giving this body more daysto be here to do things for the
Lord to do work for the Lord.
I'm giving this body morechances, more time to, while
it's here on earth, to do morefor my wife, for my kids, to
minister, to strangers, to give,to earn, to give.
And so a health legacy is alegacy of longevity, is a legacy
(20:35):
of having time to pour out forthe Lord is building into the
rest of it.
Right, I think I mean, thiscould have been our week one
episode of this series.
You could have started withhealth and about how health is
going to give you a chance topour into your family.
More Health is going to giveyou a chance to pour into your
ministry.
More Health is going to giveyou a chance to pour into your
(20:56):
family.
More health is going to giveyou a chance to pour into your
ministry more health is going togive you a chance to pour into
your friendships more?
yes, right, yes.
And so in this series wherewe're talking about legacy,
we're talking about lastinghealth, is is the key to lasting
right, even and even just thehealthy mind.
Like we, we read for recreation, to keep our mind sharp, to
keep learning new things.
I was going to say mind Growing.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
I was going to say mental health is definitely part
of maintaining your health.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I talked about this before and I'm going to share
now publicly, and that is inthis day and age.
It is almost ludicrous to thinkand assume that everyone does
like.
We all need a mental healthcheckup at some point in our
life everyone is battlingsomething in their mental health
(21:44):
everyone is going throughsomething mentally.
I mean, if not from 9-11 on,you know, if not from the wars
and the political things thatare happening, that would put
stress on you alone and evenjust the anxiety of the current
economic situation.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
What's happening?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
we've all gone through something yeah and and
and.
To not consider mental healthand getting a at least one
checkup in your life regardingyour mental health is just like
saying I can grow up and nevergo for a physical checkup.
I don't need a physical checkupbecause I'm healthy.
I don't need it and we've allgone through at least one
(22:23):
physical checkup.
Why would you not go through atleast one mental health checkup
, even just to hear the doctorsay get out of my office, I'll
see you in 10 years.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
And so it's just as important.
I was going to touch on that,so I'm glad that you did touch
on that I'm going to share partof my testimony, that kind of
kind of sucks.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Okay, it's.
It's not my, it's part of mytestimony because it has to do
with my parents.
Okay, and my parents, um, bothdied young.
They both were called up toheaven, I think long before they
were supposed to Right.
But God knows the timing.
God's timing is perfect.
I trust that.
But the reason they were calledup early, as hard as it is for
(23:04):
me to say and people might notagree with it, but they didn't
take care of their body.
They did what they wanted, theylived how they wanted to live,
they loved the Lord, but theydidn't always live for the Lord,
right, and at the end of theirlives they were doing their best
, but all the choices they madein their young life, in their
(23:27):
young times, in their 20s and30s, caught up to them yeah and
it and it cost them those, thosesmiles with their grandkids,
and those those times that wetalk about the, the, the travel,
the retirement lifestyle, thatwe pray one day, you know, to
just be full-time doing andenjoying.
(23:51):
And it's tough, man.
It's tough to see how importantyou know I'm going back to what
I said before how importantthat health legacy really is.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Absolutely, it's part of that foundation.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Of your relationship.
Yes, you want to have a longrelationship.
You want to have a lastingrelationship.
You want to have a lastingrelationship.
You got to take care ofyourself to get there.
You can't get to the end by notpaving the road nicely at the
beginning.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Yeah, Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, I remember a few yearsago I had some really bad back
issues, really bad back pain,and the back pain was connected.
It went down to the hips, itwent down to the hips, it went
down to my knee, it went down tomy feet Like I couldn't walk.
I was wearing a boot six monthsof the year, I was going to a
(24:38):
bunch of doctors and we justcouldn't figure it out.
And I think it was because ofpregnancy and the childbearing
experience.
But I it got to a point where Icouldn't play on the playground
with my kids.
It got to the point where Icouldn't walk barefoot.
So if we went to a water park Isat out because I couldn't walk
without proper supported shoes.
And it got to the point where Istarted to fear that going to
(25:01):
see the Grand Canyon or going tohike somewhere with you or with
children was going to becomeimpossible.
And it really scared me becauseI was so young and it just it
really scared me to think thatthose dreams were going to just
become vapors in the wind.
And you know, thank God wefigured it out.
(25:22):
I went to a personal trainerPope Fitness, you know trainer
you shout out your trainer.
And Travis Professor Travis, mytrainer and for what they did
and just helping me understandthat.
You know, lifting weights washelping my core and helping my
back and once I figured this out, I really tried to make an
(25:46):
effort to keep that going in mylife.
And for people who lift weights, for people who go jogging, for
people who eat clean, forpeople who take supplements like
essential oils, all the thingsthat you're doing for your
health in moderation we don'twant to make idols of these
things.
We don't want to do thesethings in place of seeking God
(26:06):
and depending on God for ourhealing and all of our things.
But to do it in moderation andto do it in balance is to keep
those dreams alive, like yousaid, with your parents, so that
they don't live short, so thatthey don't die young.
Like I said for everyone whogets married, you're getting
(26:28):
married with dreams.
You're getting married withthese intentions and these
thoughts and these desires ofyour heart that you want to see
things come to fruition.
And these choices that we makenow is really going to affect
that what you do in your healthand how you do it.
(26:49):
I think number one, you got toshare your goals with your
partner.
You got to let them know If youhave a concern with your
partner.
It's really important to talkabout those concerns because
maybe they don't even realizethat it's keeping you up at
night, maybe Kyle eating Oreosevery single night, which?
Speaker 1 (27:08):
is something he does.
I don't eat them every singlenight.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
You do it a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Carry on.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Five out of the seven days no folks Keep this moving.
But okay, here's real talk, realtalk, testimony here.
It used to concern me.
I used to be like he's going tohave a heart attack because
he's eating Oreos.
But when we talk about theoverall things, you know, when
we talk, when we, when Kyle andI sat down and he shares with me
, like this is how many stepsI'm getting a day, like I'm
(27:36):
really active, I work out, I dothese other things in my life to
keep me healthy.
These Oreos are not is notgoing to jeopardize that, you
know.
Then it makes me see the biggerpicture.
But you might be at homeworrying about your spouse
because you don't see the bigpicture.
So having a conversation aboutyou know, these are my goals,
(27:56):
these are what this is what I'mconcerned with.
Or honey, this is what I'mconcerned at regarding you, you
know, talking about your healthgoals, talking about what you
want your health life to looklike and how your partner can
contribute to that, or how youguys can do it together.
Or maybe you need extra things,like getting a personal trainer
was not cheap.
(28:17):
You know getting supplements isnot cheap.
No, it's an investment you know, sometimes you might have to
put in some investing to reallysee ultimate results and to
really get you know.
Maybe surgery is one of thoseoptions and you have to really
sit down and talk about it withyour partner, because what do
you, what is the lasting legacythat you're trying to have and
(28:37):
what steps do you have to taketo get there?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And even if it's just for me, if it was just surface,
where my wife wants thiscosmetic thing to love herself
better for me and you, I'mwilling to say yes to that.
If it helps your mental healthand helps you love yourself
better, I'm down, I'm willing toinvest in that because it's
going to pay off in your peace,in your you know mental health
(29:04):
cosmetic or, you know,counseling, you know things that
are outside of the healthinsurance spectrum.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
All those things is really important to help you see
and help you feel good aboutyourself.
Because, let's be honest, whenyou take care of yourself, your
ultimate health, your whenyou're at your optimal, when
you're at your peak level thataffects your marriage in a great
way.
(29:32):
Who wouldn't want that?
Who wouldn't want thehealthiest, happiest, most
energetic content person astheir partner, who feels good
about themselves, who loves theway that they look?
They're going to bring thatinto your bedroom when it's
bedtime.
(29:52):
You know what I'm saying.
They're going to bring thatinto the present time when
you've got to connect with yourkids or when you've got to
connect with each other on datenights.
That's going to bringthemselves into just feeling
like I can do all the things.
It's going to push you guys tomake more goals.
It's going to push you to focuson other things.
It's going to push you to getout of your house and enjoy each
(30:14):
other more.
It's going to push you to domore with each other, to be more
connected with each other.
So why wouldn't you want toencourage your partner to reach
that ultimate health?
By all means?
Speaker 1 (30:27):
I'll finish with this thought, and it's one that it
goes back to working together.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Right.
We have to empower our partner.
We have to.
You want accountability fromyour partner.
If they ask you foraccountability, you have to be
real clear on what thataccountability looks like.
You have to be real clear onwhat that support looks like and
what you want Like.
I would tell you if I wantaccountability, I don't want you
to question every food choice Imake right.
I want you to help me, whenwe're making groceries, to be
(30:55):
like let's make this choice,let's do that, let's make this
meal.
You know, let's kick this intobreakfast instead of that.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
Can I say one thing right here yeah.
If you can't be thataccountability person, that your
partner wants you to be.
You need to share that too.
Okay, Like if you're saying Iwant you to keep me accountable
and you're like, every time youask me to do that, it doesn't
end well, I don't think I shouldbe the one to do it.
I think you should find adifferent person.
(31:24):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Like I think you should.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
I think you should find a different person.
That's great.
I think you should make thatclear, just as you're being
clear about this is how I needto be accountable.
You might not be the one to doit and be okay with sharing that
.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
And then I think the final piece that goes with that
is to pray Pray for yourself,pray for your partner, pray for
your health situation, so thatthe Lord will guide you and the
Lord, the Holy, will show youwhat you need to be doing, what
you can do better, what you needto let go of.
Yes, and don't skip that step.
Yes, because it will.
He will speak to you.
(31:56):
Because it is his body to useand to have and to make how he
wants it.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, he's in it.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
He will be there to speak to you in that and speak
to you about your partner, ifthat's what he needs to do too,
yeah, don't be afraid to prayover your health, over your
partner's health.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
In Jesus name.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Amen.
That's great, kyle.
You're so right on all of thosethings and all of those closing
points you know, especiallywith the power of prayer and
just having the Holy Spirit helpus tell us how we can become
healthier people.
A lot of the times the desireis there but the how is missing
(32:35):
and the Holy Spirit can help youconnect that.
He's done it multiple timeswith us and so just speaking
from testimony of that, so thankyou for sharing that.
I think this is a greatstopping point to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
And so just speaking from, testimony of that.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
So thank you for sharing that.
I think this is a greatstopping point to talk about it,
because obviously we can go onand on and on about health, but
we just wanted to get your gearskind of moving to help you see
how this should be a legacypoint for you to talk with your
partner on, and we hope that youdo that.
We hope that this encouragesyou to make some healthier
choices and get some healthygoals together in your marriage
(33:10):
so that you can love by faithwith your temple.
So, kyle, why don't you goahead and pray us out?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Let's do it.
Lord, we're grateful, we thankyou today that you have given us
life in this body, Lord, thatyou've given us new life through
your son, Jesus and through theforgiveness of sins.
Lord, I pray for all thoselistening, Lord, that they would
take health and wellnessseriously, that they would take
their mental health as seriouslyas they take their physical
(33:38):
health.
That they would do it forthemselves, that they would do
it for you, they would do it fortheir partner, Lord.
We give you glory.
Lord, I pray today for allthose people who are struggling,
that you would give themcourage, that you would give
them hope, Lord, that you wouldgive them an answered prayer
today over their health legacy.
I pray for all those people whoare here with us, together,
(34:02):
walking this walk, fighting thisfight to leave a lasting legacy
of a healthy life In Jesus'sname, amen.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Amen.
Thank you so much for tuning into Love by Faith.
If you are listening on Appleor Spotify or iHeart or Amazon
or wherever YouTube music, thenplease give us a great review
five stars so that other peoplelike you can find us and learn
how to love by faith as well.
If you're watching on youtube,please like, share, subscribe.
(34:31):
Thank you guys for being asubscriber.
Don't forget you guys can getso many quick and easy resources
free at your fingertips throughthe love by faith playbook.
We are working on a newresource for you as well to help
you with all of these legacies,to create a vision for legacies
, so make sure that you click onthat resource link below in the
(34:53):
description and you can get alltypes of things to help you how
to communicate love and growyour faith in the process.
That's right.
Make sure you tune in again nextweek for another episode of
Love by Faith.
We hope to see you then.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Take care, see ya, bye, love, by Faith.
We hope to see you then.
Take care.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
See ya Bye.
Love by Faith y'all, love byFaith y'all.
So the antipasto salad.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Antipasto salad.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
The antipasto salad Not antipasto, antipasto.
Antipasta.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Yeah, before the pasta Antipasta.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Can someone explain?
I don't understand the wholeterminology of antipasta.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
It's Italian, it's literally antipasta, like before
the pasta.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
You get the salad before the pasta.
Yeah, even though there's pastain the salad.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
No, there's no pasta in the salad.
What is in the salad?
Lettuce cheese meat veggiesdressing?
No, there's no pasta in thesalad.
What is in the salad?
Lettuce cheese meat veggiesdressing.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
What is in an antipasta salad?
Speaker 1 (35:55):
in the american antipasta salad.
That's all I know.
Okay, we got like usually thepepperoni, and there's sometimes
they'll do like ham or turkey,right, and then cheese, tomato
Right, olives, if that's yourthing, banana peppers if that's
your thing.
It's crazy and there's no sign.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
There's no sign of lettuce, and lettuce, yeah,
lettuce is the base.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Are you sure?
A thousand percent.
Okay, so I used to work in apizza shop.
Okay, yes, you just rolled youreyes at me, so
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