Creating a communication plan requires understanding each other's preferences, timing, and needs to foster deeper connection and avoid common pitfalls that lead to frustration.
• Weekly planning meetings to handle logistics and free up daily interactions for meaningful connection
• Understanding women's hormonal cycles and how they impact communication needs
• Learning when and how to approach men about important conversations
• Color-coding calendars to distinguish personal time, couple time, and negotiable activities
• Creating predetermined strategies for conflict resolution based on each person's preferences
• Using physical touch or small gifts as peace offerings during difficult conversations
• Scheduling important conversations rather than interrupting hobbies or activities
• Communication about communication is essential - discuss how you want to resolve conflicts
• Developing code words or signals for when you need to pause and continue a conversation later
• Humility is crucial - both partners must be willing to adapt and compromise
Download our free Love by Faith Playbook for communication templates and strategies to help you navigate various scenarios in your relationship. Every good coach knows they need winning plays, and we've put together our best relationship strategies in this living document that's updated monthly with fresh content.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
creating a communication plan.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you're coming to him while he's doing his thing,
while he's watching his sport,wants to be outside, whatever,
cutting his grass, making hislawn stripes like it's the wrong
time.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
They want to communicate better.
They don't exactly know howit's practice.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
You go to practice, to work through the play, so
that when the game is on thegame of life, you can just
execute.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
We're not perfect people by any means, but by
trusting in God, we learned whatit takes to build a friendship.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
A relationship.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And marriage that has stood the test of time.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
With a keeping it real style.
We're going to talk to youabout everything.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That we've been through.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Are going through.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And have overcome All by learning how to lean on God
and each other in order to helpyou learn how to love by faith.
So this is it.
(01:04):
This is officially episode 75episodes gone by so fast to me
not me.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
With all the editing that you have to do it, it
really slows down yeah, yeah,yeah, like because you feel
every episode is like this.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I did, I put in the extra work to get this out it's
just a lot of for those who edit.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You guys know, like it's just every breath, every
you know or every like I have toedit all those things out and
every time I rub my nose ortouch the mic.
You know you're new and I saylike too much if I'm annoying
myself by repeating little likesand ums and I'm like all right,
we gotta, we gotta get this out.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So to do that 75 times, you know yeah, but we're
here, we made it it's, it's verycool listening to us, it's um,
I'm just not to my own horn, butit sounds like we're getting
better.
Like the flow is there more,the, the connection is there
more.
We have our our on micchemistry.
Yeah, this is getting better.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And uh, here's to 75 more if we ever had to host or
you know um be an mc for anykind of event.
I think we would be fun wewould.
We would know what to dobecause we're a little
experienced in in the banteryeah, if you will.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I'm totally agree with you.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Well, let's banter less and let's talk more,
because we're here in thecommunication series and we have
so much to talk aboutespecially because we we missed
the one, so we're we're reallytrying to catch up and I think
last episode we talked a lotabout the problems yeah you know
we talked about pitfalls andtriggers and how you know it
really just comes from anywherefrom anyone, and we wanted to
(02:43):
provide at least some kind ofsolution to help with that.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
So our communication style, you and me, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
If it was a genre or a specific movie, what would our
communication?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
style be.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
This is such a loaded question?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yes, oh dear.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
What would our communication style be?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
This is such a loaded question.
Yes, because every good moviehas bad, poor communication
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I got no problem telling people that our
communication takes work, ourcommunication sucks at times
Absolutely, and that we're nothere saying that we got it all
together.
We're here saying, like this iswhat works when things are
screwed up for us.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yes, but I will say we are not the type of movie
where in the first 30 minutesyou can see what the problem is
where it's like oh, if you wouldjust tell him this problem,
like we're going to have anissue, you know, like it's not
one of those movies, and thenthe problem just drags out so
it's not a basic sitcom, it'snot a basic rom-com, no, but
(03:48):
it's also not like star wars,like we don't get into heavy
action, like no arguments rightso I don't more of like a, more
like a movie in mind no, thiswas your question.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I'm asking you there's more, but more like a.
I'm thinking through this, Ipicture like more of like a
indie film that takes time todevelop and you're like, where
is this going?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
and then you get there and you're like, oh, that
was a good movie but it's notlike one of those anderson west
movies where it's just like whatthe heck is happening here, how
did we get here?
But it's also not likeinterstellar or you don't figure
anything.
I'm such a movie buff, that'swhat I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That's why I came up with this question for you I
don't know, I don't have a goodanswer.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I want to say ocean's 11, because from beginning to
end, the entire project was wellexecuted, methodical so
everyone knows everybody knows,they're all professionals, they
know exactly how to handle it.
And then, even when there's amishap, okay they figure it out
right, adapt right exactly Iwould love to communicate like
(04:57):
oceans.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
11 great answer yeah, great answer drop this week's
title.
What are we today?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So this week, as we are kind of coming out of the
month of May, we wanted to talkto you guys about creating a
communication plan.
I personally feel like a lot ofpeople out there they want to
communicate better.
They don't exactly know how.
They read a couple of things onthe internet and then they try
(05:25):
to apply it, but then theyforget about it because there's,
you know, we're we're fixatedon our in our comfort
communication area, and so wewanted to be able to say, when
certain things happen, this ishow you plan to communicate
better.
So I think what this episode isgoing to look like is we're
going to have a couple ofscenarios and then we're going
(05:46):
to say this is how you plan tohave a better communication
right, I hear you yeah, yeah sowe'll work through a couple
hypotheticals, a couplesituationals, to see what yeah
kind of plan we can come up with.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yes, okay, it's funny .
So when I'm thinking throughthis episode, I'm thinking like
a guy.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yeah, of course.
How do I help?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
the guys communicate better.
How do I help the guyscommunicate more effectively?
How do I help the guys lead inthe communication?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yes, and I'm thinking like a woman, how there's so
many different events, so it'slike so many different options,
a closet, so it's like I'm goinggonna wear this on this day,
that on that day, so it's like Ican't communicate with you the
same way when this is happening.
I have to communicatedifferently when that is
happening.
How should we begin this?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
let's start at the end, okay what beginning?
What was our biggestcommunication win?
Like when did we, when did itlike?
Or do you feel like it everclicked for us for like well,
that's how we need tocommunicate I don't know okay do
you have something?
Yeah, yeah, totally okay for mewhen we went through the season
(06:54):
of figuring out the the weekly.
Sit down the weekly, make themeals the weekly, talk about the
finances the weekly uh youthink that was a win huge.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
That's the biggest win of our communication you
gave me so much strength for ityeah, totally put me out of my
comfort zone you made it so hardyou put me into planning.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
You put me out of our , my comfort zone.
Yes, you put me into having tothink ahead.
I'm not like a proactive yes Iwasn't a proactive thinker when
we started this and now I'vegotten better at that and
knowing our finances together.
It used to be kind of one-sidedone of us figures it out and
then reports the other one.
We'd flip and flop who wasdoing what yeah and sitting down
(07:37):
and doing those thingsregularly weekly.
We had.
We went through that season.
We first transitioned to the um, to this house, okay, where you
did that regularly andregularly and I thought our
communication was in such astrong place.
Yeah, and that was our biggestwin was just doing the little
stuff.
(07:57):
The little stuff so that eachday we knew what was happening.
We didn't have to talk onthursday about what was
happening thursday.
We didn't have to talk onfriday about what was happening
that day right we were able tosit down.
You know it changed it rotateddays like it wasn't.
Like we have to sit down ontuesday to figure out.
You know, yeah, and doing thatso that we were ahead and able
to just that's.
I just had a big aha moment.
(08:19):
Okay, the win of that was thatwe were able to do that once a
week yeah and then be able tohave the individual days of the
week, to have small connections,to have daily connections.
Yeah right, we were able tohave, not like these report
connections where we're justfiguring out what we got to do
to make today a success.
I see we were able to chatabout the weather and how's it
(08:40):
going and what's what are yougoing through today and what's
what are you working on today?
What are you battling today?
Yes, because we didn't have tothink through what's for dinner.
How much money do we have?
What are we buying for thisperson's birthday?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
coming up right, it was just done at the weekly talk
so having weekly talks to kindof establish all of the reports.
Basically, you're having abusiness meeting, you have yeah
you're having a business meeting?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
you have.
Yeah, you're having a businessmeeting, you're talking about
your finances.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
You're talking about the meal plan you're talking
about.
You know the events.
If somebody has soccer this day, a dentist appointment that day
, if somebody has to stay lateat school.
You know you're doing all ofthat, but you're doing it all in
one sitting, so that, or maybe,finances is one sitting and
then everything else is onesitting, so that you can free up
the rest of your time to justengage with each other and talk.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, pull out the calendars.
Pull out the menu.
Pull out the um, whatever bookyou keep your finance records in
.
Pull out the laptop if you're aspreadsheet person.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, so the.
So that's one kind of plan.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
That was our, that was our biggest communication
win.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I think, now that you talk about it, one of our
biggest communication wins wasunderstanding my cycle.
Talk about it all the time.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
In this podcast.
You guys are probably sick aboutit, Sick hearing about it.
You know all the cycle things,but I think, having you
understand where I'm athormonally every single week,
every week, and then adjustingour conversations to that.
So, for example, when I'm in myyou know, my roughest phase of
the month, you know I don't, I'mnot playful, you know I cannot
(10:17):
make heavy decisions and so youdon't bring up conversations
that require me to have to makethis.
I'm already fatigued on all ofthose decision making abilities
and so you understanding, okay,this is when to talk to her,
this is when not to talk to herabout this, this is when to like
be playful and snuggly andtouchy, feely, and this is when
(10:39):
to just like high five her andgive her a dap and just, you
know, watch a good comedy movie.
You know things like that.
I think that was a really goodcommunication milestone that we
covered, because now I don'thave to feel frustrated in
trying to explain myself everysingle month and then you don't
have to feel confused about shewas just fine last week.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like why is she not fine this week?
Where's that lady who wasaround last week, you know?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
like what happened, like she was so into me last
week.
Now she doesn't want anythingto do with me and it's like it's
not personal.
But you understand and Iunderstand, you know when you
need.
You know, sometimes women, weonly think about ourselves,
we're not thinking about ourguys, and so Guys never do that.
And so really do that and sounderstanding when your guy's
(11:30):
love tank needs to be full,because then you can communicate
to him I'm feeling you, Idesire you.
I'm going to flirt with you alittle more because I see that
and I recognize it and there's atime and place for that as well
.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Totally.
You say how the understandingyour cycle keeps coming up again
and again.
It does, and I'm fine with that, okay, because it highlights
the importance of it.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
If the cycle is relevant in communication, if
the cycle is relevant in dating,if the cycle is relevant in
whatever spiritual time together.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
It's relevant, it's important.
It's a huge win to understandthat about yourself and I know
it's like a fingerprintEveryone's is different.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
It's important.
It's a huge win to understandthat about yourself.
And I know it's like afingerprint Everyone's is
different.
Yeah Right.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
And each guy you're going to have to figure out with
your lady, and the more youunderstand that, the better,
like she said, you can beprepared for these moments.
To understand how tocommunicate, understand why to
communicate.
You know guys like instructionmanuals, instruction man.
Well, a lot of guys likeinstruction manuals because we
want to just know how to figureit out right now you guys like
instruction manuals, but youguys don't read them accurate
(12:32):
and uh, the more you know aboutyour woman's cycle, the more you
can understand her instructionmanual it's just that women
change all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
If they're pregnant, they're changing.
If they have a child, they're.
If they're getting olderperimenopause, menopause we're
constantly changing, we'reconstantly changing.
And so if you have a plan tocommunicate that and I think
this type of communication planis going to be led by the women
because you have to be veryvocal about what you need, what
(13:02):
you don't want, what you feeland how this is so important,
how your husband can help inthat setting If you're just
expecting your husband to justfigure it out based on your body
language, it's not going towork.
If you're going to expect yourhusband to figure it out because
you went through the same exactthing last month, he doesn't
(13:26):
remember yesterday.
With all due respect, accurateno, keep going.
With all due respect, hedoesn't remember yesterday, let
alone what happened two or threemonths ago or what happened the
last time you were pregnant.
So you have to be very vocalabout this and you have to
create a communication plan andbe like listen, this is where
I'm at this month or this iswhere I'm at this week.
(13:46):
I need you to.
You know A, b and C.
I like when this happens.
I don't like when this happens.
Do not do this under anycircumstances, or I will be so
livid I cannot understand why Ifeel this way.
Or maybe I can understand why Ifeel this way, but I need you
to work with me as I'm workingwith me.
Okay, so that's onecommunication plan.
(14:08):
Time out yes.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
So we got to talk to you.
I'm just going to run this backthrough the guide translator.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
We got to talk to you to figure out your cycle.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And at times it's different than previous times.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yes, so it's not a I can't plan on it like that hard.
No, no, no depends on theseason.
Okay, see, okay.
So I'm going to take me, forexample.
I am done having children.
My, my motherhood hormonejourney is completed okay now
I'm in a season where I'm 40years old and I'm somewhere in
(14:41):
the realm of normal, inchingtowards perimenopause Okay,
perimenopause.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Okay, and so right now the season is pretty
standard.
It's pretty much the same.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Consistent.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Consistent, consistent Until we reach
perimenopause.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Then everything hits the fan again and we got to work
towards figuring that out.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
So when couples are working through that yo-yo of
we're getting ready to have ababy okay, I'm pregnant it's
changing.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I'm in the second trimester.
It's changing.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I'm in the third trimester.
It's changing.
Yes, and then I just had a baby.
Yes, it's changing.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yes, postpartum is a whole.
It's more than just a month,it's more than just a year, it's
probably like two to five years.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Okay, so you got that whole season.
So it sounds like the wholetime you're changing diapers.
Yeah, and if I'm I agree withthat.
Yeah, as a dad, that was aconstant season.
That whole diaper changingseason was just a whole season
of its own.
Yeah.
And so us figuring out how tocommunicate about what we need
changed.
The communication plan has tobe willing to mold to the season
(15:55):
.
Absolutely Right, willing tofor the couples to take a step
back and say hold on, we'removing to a different season
here.
Let's look at our plan.
Is this work?
Is this not work?
And to be really tactical aboutwhat are we doing and why are
we doing it and what do you needin this season what do you need
(16:15):
doing it and what do you needin this season?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
what do you need, lady, and what do you need in
this season, dude?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
yes, and being really just vulnerable with each other
.
Absolutely right to say to bejust naked and unashamed.
Yes, like I need this, right.
We haven't had that.
We haven't got together in bedsince that baby's come home,
right, right.
And that baby's like three nowRight, that's a joke.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, that communication planis real.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
But this is just one option in one circumstance of
when you need a communicationplan.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Because we have a whole lot more that we need to
cover.
Okay, hey, everyone, we hopethat you're enjoying this
episode, and right now we wantto just take a small minute to
introduce to you the latestthing that we created to help
you elevate your relationshipand take it to the next level.
It's called the Love by FaithPlaybook.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Every good coach knows they have to have winning
plays.
We went through our foundationseries and we pulled out some of
the best winning plays andcreated strategies for you guys.
Plays like how to be betterfinancially, how to do ministry
together, how to be betterromantically, how to be better
family life.
We went through all thesedifferent areas from the
foundation series and put ittogether in a playbook.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So grab your Love by Faith playbook today.
You can use the link in thedescription below, enter it, and
the good news about this isthat it is a living document, so
you download it one time andevery single month we're going
to be updating this document togive you fresh, new plays to
help you and your partner loveby faith and create a winning
(17:49):
season.
Go ahead and get your love byfaith playbook now and let's get
back into this episode.
So, kyle, we talked a lot about.
Let's recap.
We talked about the practicalplans of doing all the reports,
like business meeting reportsfor everyday living.
We talked about what women needhow to create a communication
(18:13):
plan when women are goingthrough their hormonal phases,
life cycle changes.
Right, so Kyle, kyle's here.
There are definitely, I like tothink, a very popular thing
when it comes to communicationand men.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
There's always that notion of don't bother him when
he's watching tv, like when he'swatching sports, yeah, when
he's doing this.
So is there any kind of like?
What would be the perfectcommunication plan that we could
set up so that women know whenis the best time, or the or the
(18:50):
the best strategy to reallycommunicate with their men?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Good, so you're talking, communicate with him so
that you're not distracting himfrom his hobbies.
Sports is a hobby, okay.
Fishing is a hobby.
Video gaming is a hobby, okay.
Maybe he's a tinkerer.
Maybe he likes to build stuffTinkerer, yeah, some guys like
to build stuff.
Tinkerer, yeah, some guys liketo build electronics.
(19:17):
I think about like DL Rickey DLRickey's a tinkerer Okay, how
he fixes stuff.
And like he built his ownweight rack Okay, right.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
The best.
Thing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
He's an engineer, yeah, but the Anyway.
Tinkerer engineer same thingTinker tinker.
Okay, no disrespect toengineers, but you need to
facilitate that time for him tohave that space Right.
If you're coming to him whilehe's doing his thing, while he's
watching his sport, while hewants to be outside, whatever,
cutting his grass, making hislawn stripes, yeah, Like it's
(19:49):
the wrong time.
So, that's obvious, right?
I know what you're gonna say.
So what do we do?
What you do is you have to beon the same page with the
calendar, guys.
This is where you have to bewilling to block your time and
say hey, saturday at 10, I'mgoing outside, I'm striping that
lawn.
Okay, tuesday night, I got thatplayoff game at 8 30.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Okay, I'm going to wherever restaurant or whatever
dude's house to watch thisrestaurant, to watch this game
with all due respect, is thatit's not too hard for women to
plan right and to put incalendars right why would it
(20:32):
seem To say this is the time.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Okay, this is the block, and I think it just
because sitting down to talk ishard.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Can I have a theory?
Do I have a theory?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, can I share it?
You have a theory?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, I believe that some men do not want to put
things in calendars because theyfeel like structure is
restricting.
Sure it is, and so they want tobe free, they want to be the
guy, they want to make the calls, they want to call the shots,
they want to do their own thingin their own time.
Okay, and so, therefore, theyjust don't respect the structure
(21:09):
of putting things in a calendarand when to have those sit-down
times.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Do you want to have a good connection?
Do you want to have a fruitfulrelationship?
Do you want to have your timeto watch your game uninterrupted
?
Do you want to have a garden?
You got to pull the weeds.
Not structuring it is lettingweeds grow.
Not laying out these rows isletting the junk get in the way,
not moving the stumbling blocks, the rocks out of your garden.
(21:37):
You're going to go out thereand stripe your lawn, but you
got it full of dandelions.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
They're going to screw up your stripes.
So let me ask you this Okay,does that make sense?
Yes, absolutely.
I can't say that I'm glad youdid.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
So, as a dude, get over yourself.
Okay, because you're going tohelp yourself in the end, right,
like all these talks that we're, all these communication plans
that we're talking about.
It's just like for the sports.
Analogy is practice.
You go to practice to workthrough the play so that when
the game is on, the game of life, you can just execute.
Yes, right, tom Brady can justline up, throw it right where
(22:10):
Edelman's going to be.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
And he right where edelman's gonna be, and he's
there, yes.
And and it goes back to thepitfalls that we talked about in
the previous episode, where ifguys are just planning so much
stuff, oh, I'm gonna meet this,these guys, my guys, later at
night, oh, and then in themorning I gotta go to golf, oh,
and then after golf I gotta workon my lawn and then after that
I gotta grill and oh, I don'tknow, I don't have time to talk,
lady, I don't have time.
Like, look at the calendar,it's all completely full.
And I feel like that's when youstart going back to the
(22:38):
previous episode, that's whenyou call out the pitfall of,
like, dude, you're just denying,you're running, you're
rejecting this conversation,you're avoiding it.
You're avoiding it.
You're avoiding it, and so whatkind of plan can?
we come up with, because thereneeds to be ground rules.
There needs to be something inplace where it's like you, we
both agree that this happens.
(22:59):
We both agree that when we needto have a serious conversation,
this can be done.
We both, you know.
So what can we do to work withthe guys to really put this in
place so that everyone is on thesame page of like when there is
a serious conversation thatneeds to be had, whether it's
about health, finances, the dog,the kids, in-laws are coming
(23:20):
travel, vacation, whatever.
You did this to me and I'mreally upset and I need to talk
about it.
I did this and we need to talkabout it like how can we get
everyone on the same page to belike yes, we need to have that
conversation so there's twodifferent things you just talked
about, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You talked about the normal day-to-day life, ops yeah
, and how we keep that organizedyeah.
And then you got into when weneed to have a hard talk okay,
so there's two, two differenttwo different ways to handle
that.
Okay, right, if you're askingme for the guy's perspective,
yes, when we're doing the weeklyplan and one of even ours we
use this.
When we're doing that weeklyplan, we color code the calendar
(24:00):
.
Yes, right, yes, so you guysfigure out whatever your colors
are going to be, but like yellow.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
You're talking about on our iPhones, on the phones?
Yeah, yeah, on the phones.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
But if you're a paper person, you can use a
highlighter.
Yeah, okay, yellow is her time.
Blue is his time.
Yeah, red is us time.
You know you can have stuffthat's outlined, that is
negotiable.
Like I don't have to watch thewhole formula one race, right,
like I can dvr that and watchthat later.
It's not a big deal to me, okay.
And so you work and talkthrough those non-negotiables.
(24:34):
Yes, and again, I said humilitybefore I'm going to say it
again, because you have to bewilling to say that that regular
season game on a Thursday nightis not that big a deal in the
big picture, but the playoffs is.
Right, but if we're in theplayoffs, I'm not missing that.
Okay, you see what I'm saying,I see that, yeah, so I watch a
lot of racing Racing.
You see what I'm saying.
I see that, yeah, so I watch alot of racing Racing.
There's elimination races,right, so if it's an elimination
(24:55):
race, I'm probably watchingthat.
Okay, and honestly, I can likeblock off just like an hour and
a half to fast forward to DVR,catch the highlights and watch
the last 30 laps.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yeah, okay Just being real.
Okay, so we talked about thepractical stuff.
Okay, being real, so when?
Okay, so we talked about thepractical stuff when people have
serious issues, when it's likeyou really offended me or you
really let me down, or youreally.
We have to talk about this.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
What is the plan for that?
Because I I feel like you know,that could happen in public,
that could happen in private.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
And you got to have some rules, because I know for
me, if something happens inpublic, right, we are not
talking about it until we get toprivate, and we are both on the
same page with that, becausewhen we first started dating you
didn't, you didn't realize that, like I, I would just stop
talking about it and I would belike what's wrong, what's going
on, and I'm like, don't do thisin front of people, like don't
(25:50):
do this in the restaurant, likewait till we get into the car.
So now we know as soon as we getinto the car, like honey, what
happened, what's going on yeahand we have that private moment,
you know.
But that came with us forming aplan of like this is what, this
is what needs to be done.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
So and having blow-ups in public where it's
like she shut down right infront of me.
I'm embarrassed, I'm callingher out on something.
She's embarrassed, yes, andworking through that.
So for me it's a practice.
You got to know.
You got to communicate aboutcommunicating.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yes, right, yes.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
It takes years of working together to figure out
the chemistry of when it's whenit's a hard talk.
Are we scheduling this?
Are we just stopping rightthere in that moment, cause some
people, even, you know, somewomen, are just stopping that
moment?
Let's work through this beforewe walk another step forward.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
That's true.
Some people want to get it doneand go past it, and some people
need time to slow and process.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
And some dudes will kick that can down the road
forever.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, some people need to just have a timeout and
go to pray.
So you need to come up withyour plan Right.
People need to just have atimeout and go to pray.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
So you need to come up with your plan, right.
I think this is one where eachpartner can have a separate
moment and brainstorm throughwhat they like to resolve it,
how they like to resolve itRight, write it out and then
come together and just read whateach one wrote about how they
like to resolve it.
So, as a young couple, thiswould be a great exercise for
young couples to talk.
(27:14):
You know, yeah, like a a funthing to do on the honeymoon,
because you're just sitting.
I don't know how you like thehoneymoon.
You're sitting out there in thesun, you're road tripping.
Who knows what people are doingfor their honeymoons we know
what they're doing on theirhoneymoon and you can, uh, you
could talk through it like's howI like to, here's how we can
(27:35):
fight, so we can fight fair andnot, you know, and not have it
and some, and even that might behard, and that's okay.
Hard doesn't mean bad, yeah,hard doesn't mean bad.
Yeah, right, like I like tolift weights.
Lifting weights is hard, yeah,but it's fun, it's fulfilling.
It's fun, it's fulfilling.
I see the strength increase.
I'm taking care of my heart.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
You know, I can still win a race against my kids.
The other thing you could do isbefore, like, instead of trying
to figure this out on the spot,you can definitely, like you're
saying is, pre-plan it, and soyou could have a couple of
scenarios, and maybe this issomething that we include in the
communication plan is likescenario one.
This is something that weinclude in the communication
plan.
It's like scenario one therewas a misunderstanding in the
grocery store and you guys gotinto an altercation.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Oh, you brought home the Granny Smith apples.
Never again.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
You know what I'm saying.
Like, what do you need to getthis resolved in the most
peacefully and effective way?
And then you guys both talkabout it.
And then you guys are both like, okay, this is what I would do,
this is what I need to do, thisis what I need to do, this is
what.
So now, moving forward, if asimilar you know a conflict were
to arise, you guys are bothaware of what each other needs
(28:48):
and what you both need foryourselves, and then you could
handle it accordingly.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I want to get this put together for the playbook,
so maybe some kind of scenariothing, along with some little
templates of when's the besttime to have talks.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
what do I need?
The other thing is, before wekind of wrap this up, is I've
read that some people, wheneverthey have a conflict that they
need to resolve, they hold hands.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
They hold hands because it helps them not lean
into the anger as much.
It helps them lean really keepgoing.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You think I'm gonna squeeze your hand.
Yeah, I think you're gonnasqueeze my hand.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I'm married to you long enough it's the physical
contact, okay, why do you thinkI would hurt you?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I would not hurt my husband, I promise because I've
seen you when you're mad andyou're just like I'm, like I'm
not holding that hand.
What?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
you do, but there is sometimes when I do use the love
language in our complex is whatI guess, is what I'm trying to
say okay, and you mean the lovelanguage so sometimes when, when
I'm upset.
I'm like honey, honey, honeyplease take the trash out, or
something like that.
Because you then are loweringyour defenses, because you're
(30:08):
receiving love.
Can we put an access to receivelove inside the conflict,
inside the communication, sothat it's less aggressive and
it's more being done andresolved in love?
(30:29):
So that's something that youwant to consider when you're
working on your communicationplan.
Yeah yeah, yeah I knowsometimes in the past I used to
be really mad at you and youwould bring me a cookie yeah
you'd bring me a cookie and Iwas just like not just a cookie
from the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I used to go and get go to this fancy soup shop and I
would get the super vegancookies.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yes, oh, I love those cookies yeah we don't live by
them anymore.
No more regular, no, but youwould like open and I would be
like getting ready to like thisis how I feel and this is what I
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You would just click the glovecompartment and a cookie would
pop out.
I'm like dang it, he's got itagain and I'm like all right,
fine.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Your love language is gifts.
It's a love language.
You talked about how you grabmy hand.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yes, I bring peace offerings.
Yes, when we have an issue orsomething, not to say that it's
conditional.
No Like now you have to give mea peace offering, or else I'm
not going to resolve thisconflict.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It's just a way to show hey, I love you.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Let's work through this.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Here's a peace offering to you know, say, the
olive branch.
Here's my peace offering,whatever, and it's not.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I didn't spend like 50 yes, I never screwed up that
bad.
Yes, thank god.
Yeah, maybe I could have that.
Look, I'm not saying nothingthat's so good I'm not saying
nothing.
You want to know your apologylanguages, your love languages
yeah, the.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I was just thinking I'm trying to remember his name
the guy who wrote the garychapman gary chapman has a book
about how to apologize, and howto apologize well, how to own it
.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
We'll probably, I think, next time we has a book
about how to apologize, and howto apologize well, how to own it
.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
We'll probably, I think, next time we do a book
series, that should be one ofthem.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
The apology one.
The apology one, the apologylanguages yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
And so, yeah, that's a big win.
There's no one.
How to apologize in a way thatspeaks to your partner is going
to win for sure, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
So we'll go ahead and link that in the description.
It's a free uh test that youcould take, just like the love
languages, and there's booksavailable and resources and
tools for that.
In addition to that, we aregoing to give you guys a
communication plan that we'vebeen talking about all through
this episode, to give you justdifferent scenarios to help you
understand what needs to be donefor you all to each scenario,
like doing that elbow, ear,forehead, nose, chin.
No.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Swipe no.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
No, but like we need time out, we need to talk about
this now.
We need to do it in private.
We need to use a code word sothat we know like, hey, this
needs to be pinned until thenext time we can have a serious
conversation.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Okay, you know yeah have a serious conversation.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, you know, yeah, we're gonna have little
templates for you guys so thatyou can work on what you need to
help you get through thevarious communication conflicts
and the communication pitfalls.
You know, we're gonna, we'regonna just lay that out for you
that way you kind of sometimesit's easier to see it when it's
all written out, when it's allthere, and then you guys can use
(33:20):
it to help you with yourcommunication.
Because I think in all of thetimes that we've talked all 75
episodes communication has comeup at least once in every
episode of how couples need tostay fruitful and keep God at
the center.
But a lot of that involves fulltransparency, vulnerability and
(33:41):
communication.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Real, real.
I couldn't have said it better.
So be on the lookout for thatto hit the playbook.
That's going to be a good, goodhelp.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, Along with all the other tools there's so many
tools that are in the playbook.
If you haven't looked into ityet, it is a totally free tool
that you guys can use and welove to continue to update with
more resources in it and moreplays to help you just really
learn how to look by faith.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
We are a ministry.
We're not here to do anythingbut serve the Lord, serve his
people and help the church bestronger.
Strong marriages are a strongfaith go hand in hand, and
that's what we're here to bringforward.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
I don't know if you need to say more to close out
this episode, if we're justready to pray.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I know that there were a lot of communication
topics that we brought up in thevery beginning of this month.
There was like 12 at least, andwe only touched on a small
amount right I want you guys tobe mindful that these topics are
still in our books and we willstill cover them at some point
(34:46):
in time.
So do not fret if there's atopic that really spoke to you
that we haven't gotten to yetyeah please reach out to us and
say, hey, I really want to hearmore about this thing yeah and
then we will go ahead and andget that out there for you.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Amen, amen, man.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, thanks for being vulnerable today, man, you
really Me.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah, you shared some hard stuff Really, yeah, I
think so.
Thank you yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I love that you just go in on the guys.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
You say all the things that we want men to say
to guys Thank you, we're here tosay it.
We're going to have theplatform, we're going to say it.
Thank you, take it or leave it,and if you leave it, I'm sorry
to hear that.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Let's pray All right.
Lord Jesus, you are at thecenter of this, the center of
this podcast, the center of ourmarriage, the center of our life
.
Lord, we are grateful for yougiving us the space to share,
the space to grow, the space toencourage couples.
I pray that people would getthe playbook and use it and that
(35:47):
their marriages would bestronger because of it, and that
they would just see fruitfulmarriages in our lives.
And we just pray that thesewords fall on good soil today.
I just pray for blessings overall those people who are
desiring to have a greatmarriage, desiring to have a
great relationship, who aredesiring to love by faith.
(36:09):
We give you the glory for allof it in Jesus's name, amen.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Amen.
Thank you so much for listeningand watching Love by Faith.
If you are watching here onYouTube, please be sure to like,
share, subscribe.
If you are watching here onYouTube, please be sure to like,
share, subscribe.
If you're listening to us onany of the platforms that uh
host podcasts, we ask that youplease write us a review.
Please hit five stars, letpeople spread the word and and
just find us through what youhave to say and what you have
(36:34):
gained from listening to us.
We hope that you join us againnext week.
It's June us through what youhave to say and what you have
gained from listening to us.
We hope that you join us againnext week.
It's June, officially summervacation.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Father's Day topics all month of June.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Oh, that would be really good.
Not that I don't know how manyfathers we have on here, but it
would be really good to just bea guy's month of, like all June,
I don't know.
I think we have a whole planalready we do have a plan that
could be next season.
Yeah, that could be 100, 100thepisode season, that's awesome
thank you so much for listeningand watching.
We'll see you guys again nextweek.
Bye, bye.
Love by faith y'all love byfaith.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I got a communication plan.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
What is?
Speaker 2 (37:18):
it, since you're so good at all the transitions Okay
and you're so good at the close, where you're like like share,
subscribe, review, if you're onthis?
Speaker 1 (37:29):
if you're on that, yeah, the call to actions, the
CTAs.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
You're in charge of those Really Every episode?
Oh yes, because every time I'vetried're like stop wait.
No, what are you doing?
I do not bite your tongue,you're just like okay, bye guys
you this microphone 2025.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
They should know what to do by now.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
It's my point not everybody.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Okay, think about the think about our parents
generation and how they stillneed help sending emails.
Okay, and then say you wantthem to take actions on podcasts
.
You want them to know where togo to get a review.
Do you know how hard it is tofind Apple podcast reviews?
It's like at the very bottom ofthe scroll.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Then are they even that important.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
It's SEO they push it .
It's like the more you like,the more the algorithm shows.
It's the.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It's the blasted algorithm how long do we get to
watch wreck it ralph with thekids?
Speaker 1 (38:27):
um, excited for that so we're doing the disney movie
marathon.
We are currently in the year2009, so wreck it.
Ralph is so we have about tenmore movies.
So long I know, I just want.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Cruz Ramirez and Wreck-It Ralph.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
If we could just keep watching movies, guys, then the
world would be a better place.
We can get it done in two weeks.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
I have good news and bad news.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
You're not leaving right now, are you I?
Speaker 2 (38:53):
gotta go, kyle, goodbye.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Kyle, you love doing this.
This, kyle, you love doing this.
This is like your favoritething to do, it is?
You love to leave me on thiscouch?
Uh, oh, I'm gonna go.
It's a beautiful day.
I'm gonna walk the dog.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Bye, y'all love my face.
creating a communication plan.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you're coming to him while he's doing his thing,
while he's watching his sport,wants to be outside, whatever,
cutting his grass, making hislawn stripes like it's the wrong
time.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
They want to communicate better.
They don't exactly know howit's practice.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
You go to practice, to work through the play, so
that when the game is on thegame of life, you can just
execute.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
We're not perfect people by any means, but by
trusting in God, we learned whatit takes to build a friendship.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
A relationship.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And marriage that has stood the test of time.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
With a keeping it real style.
We're going to talk to youabout everything.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That we've been through.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Are going through.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And have overcome All by learning how to lean on God
and each other in order to helpyou learn how to love by faith.
So this is it.
(01:04):
This is officially episode 75episodes gone by so fast to me
not me.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
With all the editing that you have to do it, it
really slows down yeah, yeah,yeah, like because you feel
every episode is like this.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I did, I put in the extra work to get this out it's
just a lot of for those who edit.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You guys know, like it's just every breath, every
you know or every like I have toedit all those things out and
every time I rub my nose ortouch the mic.
You know you're new and I saylike too much if I'm annoying
myself by repeating little likesand ums and I'm like all right,
we gotta, we gotta get this out.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
So to do that 75 times, you know yeah, but we're
here, we made it it's, it's verycool listening to us, it's um,
I'm just not to my own horn, butit sounds like we're getting
better.
Like the flow is there more,the, the connection is there
more.
We have our our on micchemistry.
Yeah, this is getting better.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And uh, here's to 75 more if we ever had to host or
you know um be an mc for anykind of event.
I think we would be fun wewould.
We would know what to dobecause we're a little
experienced in in the banteryeah, if you will.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I'm totally agree with you.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Well, let's banter less and let's talk more,
because we're here in thecommunication series and we have
so much to talk aboutespecially because we we missed
the one, so we're we're reallytrying to catch up and I think
last episode we talked a lotabout the problems yeah you know
we talked about pitfalls andtriggers and how you know it
really just comes from anywherefrom anyone, and we wanted to
(02:43):
provide at least some kind ofsolution to help with that.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
So our communication style, you and me, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
If it was a genre or a specific movie, what would our
communication?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
style be.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
This is such a loaded question?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yes, oh dear.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
What would our communication style be?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
This is such a loaded question.
Yes, because every good moviehas bad, poor communication
Perfect.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I got no problem telling people that our
communication takes work, ourcommunication sucks at times
Absolutely, and that we're nothere saying that we got it all
together.
We're here saying, like this iswhat works when things are
screwed up for us.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yes, but I will say we are not the type of movie
where in the first 30 minutesyou can see what the problem is
where it's like oh, if you wouldjust tell him this problem,
like we're going to have anissue, you know, like it's not
one of those movies, and thenthe problem just drags out so
it's not a basic sitcom, it'snot a basic rom-com, no, but
(03:48):
it's also not like star wars,like we don't get into heavy
action, like no arguments rightso I don't more of like a, more
like a movie in mind no, thiswas your question.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I'm asking you there's more, but more like a.
I'm thinking through this, Ipicture like more of like a
indie film that takes time todevelop and you're like, where
is this going?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
and then you get there and you're like, oh, that
was a good movie but it's notlike one of those anderson west
movies where it's just like whatthe heck is happening here, how
did we get here?
But it's also not likeinterstellar or you don't figure
anything.
I'm such a movie buff, that'swhat I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That's why I came up with this question for you I
don't know, I don't have a goodanswer.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I want to say ocean's 11, because from beginning to
end, the entire project was wellexecuted, methodical so
everyone knows everybody knows,they're all professionals, they
know exactly how to handle it.
And then, even when there's amishap, okay they figure it out
right, adapt right exactly Iwould love to communicate like
(04:57):
oceans.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
11 great answer yeah, great answer drop this week's
title.
What are we today?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So this week, as we are kind of coming out of the
month of May, we wanted to talkto you guys about creating a
communication plan.
I personally feel like a lot ofpeople out there they want to
communicate better.
They don't exactly know how.
They read a couple of things onthe internet and then they try
(05:25):
to apply it, but then theyforget about it because there's,
you know, we're we're fixatedon our in our comfort
communication area, and so wewanted to be able to say, when
certain things happen, this ishow you plan to communicate
better.
So I think what this episode isgoing to look like is we're
going to have a couple ofscenarios and then we're going
(05:46):
to say this is how you plan tohave a better communication
right, I hear you yeah, yeah sowe'll work through a couple
hypotheticals, a couplesituationals, to see what yeah
kind of plan we can come up with.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yes, okay, it's funny .
So when I'm thinking throughthis episode, I'm thinking like
a guy.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yeah, of course.
How do I help?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
the guys communicate better.
How do I help the guyscommunicate more effectively?
How do I help the guys lead inthe communication?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yes, and I'm thinking like a woman, how there's so
many different events, so it'slike so many different options,
a closet, so it's like I'm goinggonna wear this on this day,
that on that day, so it's like Ican't communicate with you the
same way when this is happening.
I have to communicatedifferently when that is
happening.
How should we begin this?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
let's start at the end, okay what beginning?
What was our biggestcommunication win?
Like when did we, when did itlike?
Or do you feel like it everclicked for us for like well,
that's how we need tocommunicate I don't know okay do
you have something?
Yeah, yeah, totally okay for mewhen we went through the season
(06:54):
of figuring out the the weekly.
Sit down the weekly, make themeals the weekly, talk about the
finances the weekly uh youthink that was a win huge.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
That's the biggest win of our communication you
gave me so much strength for ityeah, totally put me out of my
comfort zone you made it so hardyou put me into planning.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
You put me out of our , my comfort zone.
Yes, you put me into having tothink ahead.
I'm not like a proactive yes Iwasn't a proactive thinker when
we started this and now I'vegotten better at that and
knowing our finances together.
It used to be kind of one-sidedone of us figures it out and
then reports the other one.
We'd flip and flop who wasdoing what yeah and sitting down
(07:37):
and doing those thingsregularly weekly.
We had.
We went through that season.
We first transitioned to the um, to this house, okay, where you
did that regularly andregularly and I thought our
communication was in such astrong place.
Yeah, and that was our biggestwin was just doing the little
stuff.
(07:57):
The little stuff so that eachday we knew what was happening.
We didn't have to talk onthursday about what was
happening thursday.
We didn't have to talk onfriday about what was happening
that day right we were able tosit down.
You know it changed it rotateddays like it wasn't.
Like we have to sit down ontuesday to figure out.
You know, yeah, and doing thatso that we were ahead and able
to just that's.
I just had a big aha moment.
(08:19):
Okay, the win of that was thatwe were able to do that once a
week yeah and then be able tohave the individual days of the
week, to have small connections,to have daily connections.
Yeah right, we were able tohave, not like these report
connections where we're justfiguring out what we got to do
to make today a success.
I see we were able to chatabout the weather and how's it
(08:40):
going and what's what are yougoing through today and what's
what are you working on today?
What are you battling today?
Yes, because we didn't have tothink through what's for dinner.
How much money do we have?
What are we buying for thisperson's birthday?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
coming up right, it was just done at the weekly talk
so having weekly talks to kindof establish all of the reports.
Basically, you're having abusiness meeting, you have yeah
you're having a business meeting?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
you have.
Yeah, you're having a businessmeeting, you're talking about
your finances.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
You're talking about the meal plan you're talking
about.
You know the events.
If somebody has soccer this day, a dentist appointment that day
, if somebody has to stay lateat school.
You know you're doing all ofthat, but you're doing it all in
one sitting, so that, or maybe,finances is one sitting and
then everything else is onesitting, so that you can free up
the rest of your time to justengage with each other and talk.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, pull out the calendars.
Pull out the menu.
Pull out the um, whatever bookyou keep your finance records in
.
Pull out the laptop if you're aspreadsheet person.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, so the.
So that's one kind of plan.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
That was our, that was our biggest communication
win.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I think, now that you talk about it, one of our
biggest communication wins wasunderstanding my cycle.
Talk about it all the time.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
In this podcast.
You guys are probably sick aboutit, Sick hearing about it.
You know all the cycle things,but I think, having you
understand where I'm athormonally every single week,
every week, and then adjustingour conversations to that.
So, for example, when I'm in myyou know, my roughest phase of
the month, you know I don't, I'mnot playful, you know I cannot
(10:17):
make heavy decisions and so youdon't bring up conversations
that require me to have to makethis.
I'm already fatigued on all ofthose decision making abilities
and so you understanding, okay,this is when to talk to her,
this is when not to talk to herabout this, this is when to like
be playful and snuggly andtouchy, feely, and this is when
(10:39):
to just like high five her andgive her a dap and just, you
know, watch a good comedy movie.
You know things like that.
I think that was a really goodcommunication milestone that we
covered, because now I don'thave to feel frustrated in
trying to explain myself everysingle month and then you don't
have to feel confused about shewas just fine last week.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like why is she not fine this week?
Where's that lady who wasaround last week, you know?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
like what happened, like she was so into me last
week.
Now she doesn't want anythingto do with me and it's like it's
not personal.
But you understand and Iunderstand, you know when you
need.
You know, sometimes women, weonly think about ourselves,
we're not thinking about ourguys, and so Guys never do that.
And so really do that and sounderstanding when your guy's
(11:30):
love tank needs to be full,because then you can communicate
to him I'm feeling you, Idesire you.
I'm going to flirt with you alittle more because I see that
and I recognize it and there's atime and place for that as well
.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Totally.
You say how the understandingyour cycle keeps coming up again
and again.
It does, and I'm fine with that, okay, because it highlights
the importance of it.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
If the cycle is relevant in communication, if
the cycle is relevant in dating,if the cycle is relevant in
whatever spiritual time together.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
It's relevant, it's important.
It's a huge win to understandthat about yourself and I know
it's like a fingerprintEveryone's is different.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
It's important.
It's a huge win to understandthat about yourself.
And I know it's like afingerprint Everyone's is
different.
Yeah Right.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
And each guy you're going to have to figure out with
your lady, and the more youunderstand that, the better,
like she said, you can beprepared for these moments.
To understand how tocommunicate, understand why to
communicate.
You know guys like instructionmanuals, instruction man.
Well, a lot of guys likeinstruction manuals because we
want to just know how to figureit out right now you guys like
instruction manuals, but youguys don't read them accurate
(12:32):
and uh, the more you know aboutyour woman's cycle, the more you
can understand her instructionmanual it's just that women
change all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
If they're pregnant, they're changing.
If they have a child, they're.
If they're getting olderperimenopause, menopause we're
constantly changing, we'reconstantly changing.
And so if you have a plan tocommunicate that and I think
this type of communication planis going to be led by the women
because you have to be veryvocal about what you need, what
(13:02):
you don't want, what you feeland how this is so important,
how your husband can help inthat setting If you're just
expecting your husband to justfigure it out based on your body
language, it's not going towork.
If you're going to expect yourhusband to figure it out because
you went through the same exactthing last month, he doesn't
(13:26):
remember yesterday.
With all due respect, accurateno, keep going.
With all due respect, hedoesn't remember yesterday, let
alone what happened two or threemonths ago or what happened the
last time you were pregnant.
So you have to be very vocalabout this and you have to
create a communication plan andbe like listen, this is where
I'm at this month or this iswhere I'm at this week.
(13:46):
I need you to.
You know A, b and C.
I like when this happens.
I don't like when this happens.
Do not do this under anycircumstances, or I will be so
livid I cannot understand why Ifeel this way.
Or maybe I can understand why Ifeel this way, but I need you
to work with me as I'm workingwith me.
Okay, so that's onecommunication plan.
(14:08):
Time out yes.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
So we got to talk to you.
I'm just going to run this backthrough the guide translator.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
We got to talk to you to figure out your cycle.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And at times it's different than previous times.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yes, so it's not a I can't plan on it like that hard.
No, no, no depends on theseason.
Okay, see, okay.
So I'm going to take me, forexample.
I am done having children.
My, my motherhood hormonejourney is completed okay now
I'm in a season where I'm 40years old and I'm somewhere in
(14:41):
the realm of normal, inchingtowards perimenopause Okay,
perimenopause.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Okay, and so right now the season is pretty
standard.
It's pretty much the same.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Consistent.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Consistent, consistent Until we reach
perimenopause.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Then everything hits the fan again and we got to work
towards figuring that out.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
So when couples are working through that yo-yo of
we're getting ready to have ababy okay, I'm pregnant it's
changing.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I'm in the second trimester.
It's changing.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I'm in the third trimester.
It's changing.
Yes, and then I just had a baby.
Yes, it's changing.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yes, postpartum is a whole.
It's more than just a month,it's more than just a year, it's
probably like two to five years.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Okay, so you got that whole season.
So it sounds like the wholetime you're changing diapers.
Yeah, and if I'm I agree withthat.
Yeah, as a dad, that was aconstant season.
That whole diaper changingseason was just a whole season
of its own.
Yeah.
And so us figuring out how tocommunicate about what we need
changed.
The communication plan has tobe willing to mold to the season
(15:55):
.
Absolutely Right, willing tofor the couples to take a step
back and say hold on, we'removing to a different season
here.
Let's look at our plan.
Is this work?
Is this not work?
And to be really tactical aboutwhat are we doing and why are
we doing it and what do you needin this season what do you need
(16:15):
doing it and what do you needin this season?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
what do you need, lady, and what do you need in
this season, dude?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
yes, and being really just vulnerable with each other
.
Absolutely right to say to bejust naked and unashamed.
Yes, like I need this, right.
We haven't had that.
We haven't got together in bedsince that baby's come home,
right, right.
And that baby's like three nowRight, that's a joke.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, that communication planis real.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
But this is just one option in one circumstance of
when you need a communicationplan.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Because we have a whole lot more that we need to
cover.
Okay, hey, everyone, we hopethat you're enjoying this
episode, and right now we wantto just take a small minute to
introduce to you the latestthing that we created to help
you elevate your relationshipand take it to the next level.
It's called the Love by FaithPlaybook.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Every good coach knows they have to have winning
plays.
We went through our foundationseries and we pulled out some of
the best winning plays andcreated strategies for you guys.
Plays like how to be betterfinancially, how to do ministry
together, how to be betterromantically, how to be better
family life.
We went through all thesedifferent areas from the
foundation series and put ittogether in a playbook.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So grab your Love by Faith playbook today.
You can use the link in thedescription below, enter it, and
the good news about this isthat it is a living document, so
you download it one time andevery single month we're going
to be updating this document togive you fresh, new plays to
help you and your partner loveby faith and create a winning
(17:49):
season.
Go ahead and get your love byfaith playbook now and let's get
back into this episode.
So, kyle, we talked a lot about.
Let's recap.
We talked about the practicalplans of doing all the reports,
like business meeting reportsfor everyday living.
We talked about what women needhow to create a communication
(18:13):
plan when women are goingthrough their hormonal phases,
life cycle changes.
Right, so Kyle, kyle's here.
There are definitely, I like tothink, a very popular thing
when it comes to communicationand men.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
There's always that notion of don't bother him when
he's watching tv, like when he'swatching sports, yeah, when
he's doing this.
So is there any kind of like?
What would be the perfectcommunication plan that we could
set up so that women know whenis the best time, or the or the
(18:50):
the best strategy to reallycommunicate with their men?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Good, so you're talking, communicate with him so
that you're not distracting himfrom his hobbies.
Sports is a hobby, okay.
Fishing is a hobby.
Video gaming is a hobby, okay.
Maybe he's a tinkerer.
Maybe he likes to build stuffTinkerer, yeah, some guys like
to build stuff.
Tinkerer, yeah, some guys liketo build electronics.
(19:17):
I think about like DL Rickey DLRickey's a tinkerer Okay, how
he fixes stuff.
And like he built his ownweight rack Okay, right.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
The best.
Thing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
He's an engineer, yeah, but the Anyway.
Tinkerer engineer same thingTinker tinker.
Okay, no disrespect toengineers, but you need to
facilitate that time for him tohave that space Right.
If you're coming to him whilehe's doing his thing, while he's
watching his sport, while hewants to be outside, whatever,
cutting his grass, making hislawn stripes, yeah, Like it's
(19:49):
the wrong time.
So, that's obvious, right?
I know what you're gonna say.
So what do we do?
What you do is you have to beon the same page with the
calendar, guys.
This is where you have to bewilling to block your time and
say hey, saturday at 10, I'mgoing outside, I'm striping that
lawn.
Okay, tuesday night, I got thatplayoff game at 8 30.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Okay, I'm going to wherever restaurant or whatever
dude's house to watch thisrestaurant, to watch this game
with all due respect, is thatit's not too hard for women to
plan right and to put incalendars right why would it
(20:32):
seem To say this is the time.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Okay, this is the block, and I think it just
because sitting down to talk ishard.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Can I have a theory?
Do I have a theory?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, can I share it?
You have a theory?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, I believe that some men do not want to put
things in calendars because theyfeel like structure is
restricting.
Sure it is, and so they want tobe free, they want to be the
guy, they want to make the calls, they want to call the shots,
they want to do their own thingin their own time.
Okay, and so, therefore, theyjust don't respect the structure
(21:09):
of putting things in a calendarand when to have those sit-down
times.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Do you want to have a good connection?
Do you want to have a fruitfulrelationship?
Do you want to have your timeto watch your game uninterrupted
?
Do you want to have a garden?
You got to pull the weeds.
Not structuring it is lettingweeds grow.
Not laying out these rows isletting the junk get in the way,
not moving the stumbling blocks, the rocks out of your garden.
(21:37):
You're going to go out thereand stripe your lawn, but you
got it full of dandelions.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
They're going to screw up your stripes.
So let me ask you this Okay,does that make sense?
Yes, absolutely.
I can't say that I'm glad youdid.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
So, as a dude, get over yourself.
Okay, because you're going tohelp yourself in the end, right,
like all these talks that we're, all these communication plans
that we're talking about.
It's just like for the sports.
Analogy is practice.
You go to practice to workthrough the play so that when
the game is on, the game of life, you can just execute.
Yes, right, tom Brady can justline up, throw it right where
(22:10):
Edelman's going to be.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
And he right where edelman's gonna be, and he's
there, yes.
And and it goes back to thepitfalls that we talked about in
the previous episode, where ifguys are just planning so much
stuff, oh, I'm gonna meet this,these guys, my guys, later at
night, oh, and then in themorning I gotta go to golf, oh,
and then after golf I gotta workon my lawn and then after that
I gotta grill and oh, I don'tknow, I don't have time to talk,
lady, I don't have time.
Like, look at the calendar,it's all completely full.
And I feel like that's when youstart going back to the
(22:38):
previous episode, that's whenyou call out the pitfall of,
like, dude, you're just denying,you're running, you're
rejecting this conversation,you're avoiding it.
You're avoiding it.
You're avoiding it, and so whatkind of plan can?
we come up with, because thereneeds to be ground rules.
There needs to be something inplace where it's like you, we
both agree that this happens.
(22:59):
We both agree that when we needto have a serious conversation,
this can be done.
We both, you know.
So what can we do to work withthe guys to really put this in
place so that everyone is on thesame page of like when there is
a serious conversation thatneeds to be had, whether it's
about health, finances, the dog,the kids, in-laws are coming
(23:20):
travel, vacation, whatever.
You did this to me and I'mreally upset and I need to talk
about it.
I did this and we need to talkabout it like how can we get
everyone on the same page to belike yes, we need to have that
conversation so there's twodifferent things you just talked
about, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You talked about the normal day-to-day life, ops yeah
, and how we keep that organizedyeah.
And then you got into when weneed to have a hard talk okay,
so there's two, two differenttwo different ways to handle
that.
Okay, right, if you're askingme for the guy's perspective,
yes, when we're doing the weeklyplan and one of even ours we
use this.
When we're doing that weeklyplan, we color code the calendar
(24:00):
.
Yes, right, yes, so you guysfigure out whatever your colors
are going to be, but like yellow.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
You're talking about on our iPhones, on the phones?
Yeah, yeah, on the phones.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
But if you're a paper person, you can use a
highlighter.
Yeah, okay, yellow is her time.
Blue is his time.
Yeah, red is us time.
You know you can have stuffthat's outlined, that is
negotiable.
Like I don't have to watch thewhole formula one race, right,
like I can dvr that and watchthat later.
It's not a big deal to me, okay.
And so you work and talkthrough those non-negotiables.
(24:34):
Yes, and again, I said humilitybefore I'm going to say it
again, because you have to bewilling to say that that regular
season game on a Thursday nightis not that big a deal in the
big picture, but the playoffs is.
Right, but if we're in theplayoffs, I'm not missing that.
Okay, you see what I'm saying,I see that, yeah, so I watch a
lot of racing Racing.
You see what I'm saying.
I see that, yeah, so I watch alot of racing Racing.
There's elimination races,right, so if it's an elimination
(24:55):
race, I'm probably watchingthat.
Okay, and honestly, I can likeblock off just like an hour and
a half to fast forward to DVR,catch the highlights and watch
the last 30 laps.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yeah, okay Just being real.
Okay, so we talked about thepractical stuff.
Okay, being real, so when?
Okay, so we talked about thepractical stuff when people have
serious issues, when it's likeyou really offended me or you
really let me down, or youreally.
We have to talk about this.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
What is the plan for that?
Because I I feel like you know,that could happen in public,
that could happen in private.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
And you got to have some rules, because I know for
me, if something happens inpublic, right, we are not
talking about it until we get toprivate, and we are both on the
same page with that, becausewhen we first started dating you
didn't, you didn't realize that, like I, I would just stop
talking about it and I would belike what's wrong, what's going
on, and I'm like, don't do thisin front of people, like don't
(25:50):
do this in the restaurant, likewait till we get into the car.
So now we know as soon as we getinto the car, like honey, what
happened, what's going on yeahand we have that private moment,
you know.
But that came with us forming aplan of like this is what, this
is what needs to be done.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
So and having blow-ups in public where it's
like she shut down right infront of me.
I'm embarrassed, I'm callingher out on something.
She's embarrassed, yes, andworking through that.
So for me it's a practice.
You got to know.
You got to communicate aboutcommunicating.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yes, right, yes.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
It takes years of working together to figure out
the chemistry of when it's whenit's a hard talk.
Are we scheduling this?
Are we just stopping rightthere in that moment, cause some
people, even, you know, somewomen, are just stopping that
moment?
Let's work through this beforewe walk another step forward.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
That's true.
Some people want to get it doneand go past it, and some people
need time to slow and process.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
And some dudes will kick that can down the road
forever.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, some people need to just have a timeout and
go to pray.
So you need to come up withyour plan Right.
People need to just have atimeout and go to pray.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
So you need to come up with your plan, right.
I think this is one where eachpartner can have a separate
moment and brainstorm throughwhat they like to resolve it,
how they like to resolve itRight, write it out and then
come together and just read whateach one wrote about how they
like to resolve it.
So, as a young couple, thiswould be a great exercise for
young couples to talk.
(27:14):
You know, yeah, like a a funthing to do on the honeymoon,
because you're just sitting.
I don't know how you like thehoneymoon.
You're sitting out there in thesun, you're road tripping.
Who knows what people are doingfor their honeymoons we know
what they're doing on theirhoneymoon and you can, uh, you
could talk through it like's howI like to, here's how we can
(27:35):
fight, so we can fight fair andnot, you know, and not have it
and some, and even that might behard, and that's okay.
Hard doesn't mean bad, yeah,hard doesn't mean bad.
Yeah, right, like I like tolift weights.
Lifting weights is hard, yeah,but it's fun, it's fulfilling.
It's fun, it's fulfilling.
I see the strength increase.
I'm taking care of my heart.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
You know, I can still win a race against my kids.
The other thing you could do isbefore, like, instead of trying
to figure this out on the spot,you can definitely, like you're
saying is, pre-plan it, and soyou could have a couple of
scenarios, and maybe this issomething that we include in the
communication plan is likescenario one.
This is something that weinclude in the communication
plan.
It's like scenario one therewas a misunderstanding in the
grocery store and you guys gotinto an altercation.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Oh, you brought home the Granny Smith apples.
Never again.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
You know what I'm saying.
Like, what do you need to getthis resolved in the most
peacefully and effective way?
And then you guys both talkabout it.
And then you guys are both like, okay, this is what I would do,
this is what I need to do, thisis what I need to do, this is
what.
So now, moving forward, if asimilar you know a conflict were
to arise, you guys are bothaware of what each other needs
(28:48):
and what you both need foryourselves, and then you could
handle it accordingly.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I want to get this put together for the playbook,
so maybe some kind of scenariothing, along with some little
templates of when's the besttime to have talks.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
what do I need?
The other thing is, before wekind of wrap this up, is I've
read that some people, wheneverthey have a conflict that they
need to resolve, they hold hands.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
They hold hands because it helps them not lean
into the anger as much.
It helps them lean really keepgoing.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You think I'm gonna squeeze your hand.
Yeah, I think you're gonnasqueeze my hand.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I'm married to you long enough it's the physical
contact, okay, why do you thinkI would hurt you?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I would not hurt my husband, I promise because I've
seen you when you're mad andyou're just like I'm, like I'm
not holding that hand.
What?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
you do, but there is sometimes when I do use the love
language in our complex is whatI guess, is what I'm trying to
say okay, and you mean the lovelanguage so sometimes when, when
I'm upset.
I'm like honey, honey, honeyplease take the trash out, or
something like that.
Because you then are loweringyour defenses, because you're
(30:08):
receiving love.
Can we put an access to receivelove inside the conflict,
inside the communication, sothat it's less aggressive and
it's more being done andresolved in love?
(30:29):
So that's something that youwant to consider when you're
working on your communicationplan.
Yeah yeah, yeah I knowsometimes in the past I used to
be really mad at you and youwould bring me a cookie yeah
you'd bring me a cookie and Iwas just like not just a cookie
from the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I used to go and get go to this fancy soup shop and I
would get the super vegancookies.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yes, oh, I love those cookies yeah we don't live by
them anymore.
No more regular, no, but youwould like open and I would be
like getting ready to like thisis how I feel and this is what I
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You would just click the glovecompartment and a cookie would
pop out.
I'm like dang it, he's got itagain and I'm like all right,
fine.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Your love language is gifts.
It's a love language.
You talked about how you grabmy hand.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yes, I bring peace offerings.
Yes, when we have an issue orsomething, not to say that it's
conditional.
No Like now you have to give mea peace offering, or else I'm
not going to resolve thisconflict.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It's just a way to show hey, I love you.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Let's work through this.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Here's a peace offering to you know, say, the
olive branch.
Here's my peace offering,whatever, and it's not.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I didn't spend like 50 yes, I never screwed up that
bad.
Yes, thank god.
Yeah, maybe I could have that.
Look, I'm not saying nothingthat's so good I'm not saying
nothing.
You want to know your apologylanguages, your love languages
yeah, the.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I was just thinking I'm trying to remember his name
the guy who wrote the garychapman gary chapman has a book
about how to apologize, and howto apologize well, how to own it
.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
We'll probably, I think, next time we has a book
about how to apologize, and howto apologize well, how to own it
.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
We'll probably, I think, next time we do a book
series, that should be one ofthem.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
The apology one.
The apology one, the apologylanguages yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
And so, yeah, that's a big win.
There's no one.
How to apologize in a way thatspeaks to your partner is going
to win for sure, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
So we'll go ahead and link that in the description.
It's a free uh test that youcould take, just like the love
languages, and there's booksavailable and resources and
tools for that.
In addition to that, we aregoing to give you guys a
communication plan that we'vebeen talking about all through
this episode, to give you justdifferent scenarios to help you
understand what needs to be donefor you all to each scenario,
like doing that elbow, ear,forehead, nose, chin.
No.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Swipe no.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
No, but like we need time out, we need to talk about
this now.
We need to do it in private.
We need to use a code word sothat we know like, hey, this
needs to be pinned until thenext time we can have a serious
conversation.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Okay, you know yeah have a serious conversation.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Okay, you know, yeah, we're gonna have little
templates for you guys so thatyou can work on what you need to
help you get through thevarious communication conflicts
and the communication pitfalls.
You know, we're gonna, we'regonna just lay that out for you
that way you kind of sometimesit's easier to see it when it's
all written out, when it's allthere, and then you guys can use
(33:20):
it to help you with yourcommunication.
Because I think in all of thetimes that we've talked all 75
episodes communication has comeup at least once in every
episode of how couples need tostay fruitful and keep God at
the center.
But a lot of that involves fulltransparency, vulnerability and
(33:41):
communication.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Real, real.
I couldn't have said it better.
So be on the lookout for thatto hit the playbook.
That's going to be a good, goodhelp.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, Along with all the other tools there's so many
tools that are in the playbook.
If you haven't looked into ityet, it is a totally free tool
that you guys can use and welove to continue to update with
more resources in it and moreplays to help you just really
learn how to look by faith.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
We are a ministry.
We're not here to do anythingbut serve the Lord, serve his
people and help the church bestronger.
Strong marriages are a strongfaith go hand in hand, and
that's what we're here to bringforward.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
I don't know if you need to say more to close out
this episode, if we're justready to pray.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I know that there were a lot of communication
topics that we brought up in thevery beginning of this month.
There was like 12 at least, andwe only touched on a small
amount right I want you guys tobe mindful that these topics are
still in our books and we willstill cover them at some point
(34:46):
in time.
So do not fret if there's atopic that really spoke to you
that we haven't gotten to yetyeah please reach out to us and
say, hey, I really want to hearmore about this thing yeah and
then we will go ahead and andget that out there for you.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Amen, amen, man.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, thanks for being vulnerable today, man, you
really Me.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah, you shared some hard stuff Really, yeah, I
think so.
Thank you yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I love that you just go in on the guys.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
You say all the things that we want men to say
to guys Thank you, we're here tosay it.
We're going to have theplatform, we're going to say it.
Thank you, take it or leave it,and if you leave it, I'm sorry
to hear that.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Let's pray All right.
Lord Jesus, you are at thecenter of this, the center of
this podcast, the center of ourmarriage, the center of our life
.
Lord, we are grateful for yougiving us the space to share,
the space to grow, the space toencourage couples.
I pray that people would getthe playbook and use it and that
(35:47):
their marriages would bestronger because of it, and that
they would just see fruitfulmarriages in our lives.
And we just pray that thesewords fall on good soil today.
I just pray for blessings overall those people who are
desiring to have a greatmarriage, desiring to have a
great relationship, who aredesiring to love by faith.
(36:09):
We give you the glory for allof it in Jesus's name, amen.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Amen.
Thank you so much for listeningand watching Love by Faith.
If you are watching here onYouTube, please be sure to like,
share, subscribe.
If you are watching here onYouTube, please be sure to like,
share, subscribe.
If you're listening to us onany of the platforms that uh
host podcasts, we ask that youplease write us a review.
Please hit five stars, letpeople spread the word and and
just find us through what youhave to say and what you have
(36:34):
gained from listening to us.
We hope that you join us againnext week.
It's June us through what youhave to say and what you have
gained from listening to us.
We hope that you join us againnext week.
It's June, officially summervacation.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Father's Day topics all month of June.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Oh, that would be really good.
Not that I don't know how manyfathers we have on here, but it
would be really good to just bea guy's month of, like all June,
I don't know.
I think we have a whole planalready we do have a plan that
could be next season.
Yeah, that could be 100, 100thepisode season, that's awesome
thank you so much for listeningand watching.
We'll see you guys again nextweek.
Bye, bye.
Love by faith y'all love byfaith.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I got a communication plan.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
What is?
Speaker 2 (37:18):
it, since you're so good at all the transitions Okay
and you're so good at the close, where you're like like share,
subscribe, review, if you're onthis?
Speaker 1 (37:29):
if you're on that, yeah, the call to actions, the
CTAs.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
You're in charge of those Really Every episode?
Oh yes, because every time I'vetried're like stop wait.
No, what are you doing?
I do not bite your tongue,you're just like okay, bye guys
you this microphone 2025.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
They should know what to do by now.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
It's my point not everybody.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Okay, think about the think about our parents
generation and how they stillneed help sending emails.
Okay, and then say you wantthem to take actions on podcasts
.
You want them to know where togo to get a review.
Do you know how hard it is tofind Apple podcast reviews?
It's like at the very bottom ofthe scroll.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Then are they even that important.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
It's SEO they push it .
It's like the more you like,the more the algorithm shows.
It's the.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
It's the blasted algorithm how long do we get to
watch wreck it ralph with thekids?
Speaker 1 (38:27):
um, excited for that so we're doing the disney movie
marathon.
We are currently in the year2009, so wreck it.
Ralph is so we have about tenmore movies.
So long I know, I just want.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Cruz Ramirez and Wreck-It Ralph.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
If we could just keep watching movies, guys, then the
world would be a better place.
We can get it done in two weeks.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
I have good news and bad news.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
You're not leaving right now, are you I?
Speaker 2 (38:53):
gotta go, kyle, goodbye.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Kyle, you love doing this.
This, kyle, you love doing this.
This is like your favoritething to do, it is?
You love to leave me on thiscouch?
Uh, oh, I'm gonna go.
It's a beautiful day.
I'm gonna walk the dog.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Bye, y'all love my face.
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