November 11, 2025 • 34 mins
We explore the temptation to keep secrets in marriage, the difference between confidentiality and secrecy, and why even “small” omissions can damage trust. We share practical ways to disclose hard truths with grace, plus boundaries that protect privacy without hiding from your spouse.
• defining secrecy versus withholding versus confidentiality
• holiday surprises and why patterns matter
• common hidden areas like spending, drinking, and private chats
• how secrecy triggers insecurity, past trauma, and mistrust
• faith-based framing for unity and oneness
• practical steps to disclose hard truths safely
• guardrails for surprises without raising alarm
• using routines, questions, and shared boundaries
• the Love by Faith Playbook for anti-temptation strategies
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
It's the temptation to keep secrets.
SPEAKER_04 (00:02):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (00:02):
Are there healthy secrets to keep from your
spouse?
SPEAKER_04 (00:04):
Why are you acting this?
Why are you tripping?
SPEAKER_02 (00:07):
They don't need to know about it.
They didn't care to ask aboutit.
SPEAKER_04 (00:09):
How do you feel about keeping secrets from your
wife?
SPEAKER_02 (00:11):
I'm really good at it.
I like to do it a lot.
SPEAKER_04 (00:15):
We're not perfect people.
By any means.
But by trusting in God, welearned what it takes to build a
friendship, a relationship, andmarriage that has stood the test
of time.
SPEAKER_01 (00:26):
With a keeping it real style, we're gonna talk to
you about everything.
Everything that we've beenthrough, are going through, and
have overcome all by learninghow to lean on God and each
other in order to help you learnhow to love by faith.
SPEAKER_02 (00:57):
How are you doing today?
I'm good.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00):
Oh yeah.
Getting close to thatThanksgiving season.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
Dude, I can't wait.
SPEAKER_04 (01:04):
Some people are already into like Christmas,
full blown.
I know the trees up right now.
Are you one of those people?
Let us know in the chat becausewe will know not to reach out to
you.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
We're Thanksgiving.
We're Thanksgiving week peoplewhere we uh put up our
decorations the week afterThanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02 (01:22):
Yeah.
Are there any new themes comingthis year for our Thanksgiving
decorations?
SPEAKER_04 (01:26):
No.
I have the same decorations.
SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
I mean new I meant for Christmas.
I said Thanksgiving, I meantChristmas.
SPEAKER_04 (01:32):
No, we don't have any new things.
You mean like a Ralph LaurenChristmas?
SPEAKER_02 (01:36):
No, like oh, I wanted to get these yoga nomies.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_04 (01:42):
I always want to get gnomies.
Okay, so guys, there's you'veheard of Elf on the Shelf.
Kyle and I do something a littledifferently in our family.
It's called Gnomi the Homie.
And this year they have a Nomiadvent calendar.
Are we gonna get that?
So that every day we add to thehomies.
I want to add to the homies.
(02:02):
I want it to be just a gang ofgnomies.
SPEAKER_02 (02:04):
25 gnomes to do something.
SPEAKER_04 (02:06):
29 nomies to just do mischievous things around our
house all every year.
And our kids know.
Our kids know.
It's like the same setup everyyear.
We do the same activities everyevery night, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (02:17):
It's the same routine of what the same
routine.
SPEAKER_04 (02:20):
We don't go crazy with it.
We don't get no, it's last yearthey did this, this year they're
gonna do it again.
SPEAKER_02 (02:25):
It's funny that you say we do this because most of
the time she's like, Kyle, yougotta set this up.
Oh, we forgot to do the gnome.
Kyle, go get it.
Go do it.
SPEAKER_05 (02:35):
Quick.
SPEAKER_02 (02:36):
All right.
Gnomes be keeping secrets.
Speaking of secrets, what aboutthem?
This episode this week'sepisode, episode two of the
season.
Yes.
It's the temptation to keepsecrets.
SPEAKER_04 (02:47):
Yes, yes.
So welcome to Love by Faith.
If you guys are new here,welcome.
We are glad to have you.
Kyle and Selena here, and we aredoing a month-long series on
temptation.
If you guys are with us from dayone, then what's up?
Welcome back.
We're glad to have you here.
And you guys may have heard theepisode last week where we
talked about temptations tolook.
(03:08):
Oh, we were looking away.
Yes.
And so this week.
Instead of looking away, we lookup, that's right, or look inward
and all the things.
And this week we are gonna talkabout the secrets.
SPEAKER_02 (03:21):
Ooh, tempted to keep secrets.
SPEAKER_04 (03:23):
Secrets.
Isn't there like a an RB songabout secrets?
I'm sure there's a million otherthings.
There's like a thousand, right?
There has to be a secrets thing.
Anyways, Kyle, how do you feelabout keeping secrets from your
wife?
SPEAKER_02 (03:35):
I'm really good at it.
I like to do it a lot.
SPEAKER_04 (03:39):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (03:40):
I like to do it a lot.
I find them very useful andhelpful.
SPEAKER_04 (03:44):
Like what?
Tell me.
What secrets do you have?
SPEAKER_02 (03:46):
Usually I have secrets about gifts for you.
SPEAKER_04 (03:49):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:49):
I have secrets about gifts for you.
Okay.
So those are the kind of secretsI always keep.
SPEAKER_04 (03:54):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
Those are that's when I lie to you and keep
secrets for me.
SPEAKER_04 (03:56):
Dang, you lied to me.
SPEAKER_02 (03:58):
It's about gifts.
SPEAKER_04 (03:59):
Wow.
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (03:59):
If it's for your for your blessing.
SPEAKER_04 (04:02):
Kyle, you shouldn't lie.
I will totally thou shalt notlie for the sake of my gifts.
SPEAKER_02 (04:08):
Lied to you to keep a surprise.
SPEAKER_04 (04:09):
I keep it totally 100.
If you ask me, if you're like,are you sneaking?
Are you doing stuff?
I'm like, absolutely I am.
Yes, I am.
Okay, well, what is it?
SPEAKER_02 (04:18):
You're so good at sneaking that I'm like, hey, are
you sneaking?
I never, I'm never like, hey,are you sneaking?
Because I don't catch yousneaking.
SPEAKER_05 (04:25):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (04:27):
Or if I do, I don't even ask, I just say something.
You're up.
I'm doing it.
SPEAKER_04 (04:31):
You better watch it.
I you I'm I'll be doing stuff,and you just don't care to ask
questions.
So if you're not gonna askquestions, I'm not gonna give
you information.
But see me, I'm alwaysobservant.
I'm like, he's he's up.
He's doing this is off.
This is not according to thepattern of everyday life.
(04:52):
And so I'll straight up, are youdoing something?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
What's that for?
Why was there an Amazon order inour email?
What's that about?
We don't have an Amazon ordercoming in.
SPEAKER_02 (05:03):
Hence, I had to get my secret personal Amazon
account.
You sure did get an Amazonaccount so that I could buy
stuff for you without you askingquestions.
SPEAKER_04 (05:11):
So yeah, when you do ask me questions, I just meet
them.
I don't have to lie.
Like, yes, yes, I am.
You want to know more?
No, I'm not gonna tell you more.
You know everything you need toknow at this point.
SPEAKER_02 (05:22):
In your women's single by faith society, yes,
where you meet and talk and havechit-chats and preach and teach
them all sorts of stuff.
What kind of secrets do you hearin there?
Not like what kind of secrets dopeople have, but what kind of
secrets are people keeping intheir relationships?
Like what are some themes aroundto keep secrets?
SPEAKER_04 (05:40):
So it's not even like keeping secrets, because
when you think about likekeeping a secret, it's like you
obtain information and thenyou're keep you're purposely
keeping that information fromsomeone else knowing about it,
right?
But when it comes to, forexample, the single women within
single by faith society, it'smore so I have information
(06:03):
already, yeah, and I'm justwithholding it for the right
particular time.
So, for example, um, in themonth of October, we were
talking about one of the lessonsin the single by faith society,
which was how to incorporate Godinto your new relationship.
And the reason why I talk aboutthis and break it down is
(06:24):
because I want women to knowupfront how to be comfortable
and confident sharing theirfaith and sharing their
intentions with keeping Christat the center so that by the
time their emotions do run high,or by the time things get
serious, that person on theother end of that relationship
is fully aware of what to expectwhen it comes to their faith and
(06:47):
when it comes to how thisrelationship is gonna play out
because they are committed tohonoring God and being pure and
fearing him and keeping hiscommands and all those things.
And so for some women, there arenot necessarily my particular
woman in the society, but thereare some women who are like, I
have a shameful past.
(07:08):
I'm not gonna share thatinformation, I'm gonna keep that
because they don't need to knowthat right now.
Or I, you know, I'm strugglingwith finances.
I'm gonna keep that informationuntil they need to know like
they don't need to know thatyet.
Yeah, like they don't need toknow that yet.
Whereas like a secret is likewe're in the relationship.
(07:29):
I did something in thatrelationship in real time.
I'm just not gonna tell youabout it.
That's how I see the difference.
Yeah, you know, like there's a Ithink there's a fine line
between holding with withholdinginformation and having a secret.
SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:46):
But at the same time, they're kind of all it
kind of goes in the same lane.
You're holding information,you're not being upfront, you're
not being transparent.
Okay, or the person is notasking enough questions.
So if they're not gonna ask, I'mnot gonna offer.
SPEAKER_02 (08:00):
And that's that's the attitude that people bring
into their relationship.
Absolutely.
Is that I'm gonna just gonnakeep this under wraps because
they don't need to know aboutit, they didn't care to ask
about it, so it obviously isn'timportant.
So I'm just gonna just gonnatuck that away.
SPEAKER_04 (08:14):
I feel like guys use that as a kind not a
manipulation tool, but kind ofas a weapon of like, well, you
didn't ask.
So it's like that's your faultthat you don't know this
information because you didn'task.
So why why are you mad at mewhen you never bothered to ask?
I would have willing I wouldhave told you, but you never
(08:34):
asked.
SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
So the guy's secrets are a communication problem?
SPEAKER_04 (08:39):
The guy there's a lot of problems.
SPEAKER_02 (08:42):
Yeah, yeah, no.
I'm just what you said, it's acommunication problem because he
didn't want to talk about ituntil it was asked about.
SPEAKER_04 (08:48):
I don't think it's a communication problem.
SPEAKER_02 (08:51):
I think it's uh it is, it's a transparency
communication problem.
SPEAKER_04 (08:58):
Yeah, because we can't they're not willing to
share things right because theydon't want to talk about it.
They don't want to talk aboutit.
It's like a comforting.
SPEAKER_02 (09:06):
You're gonna ask us 50,000 questions, and maybe like
three would be okay, but 50,000,it gets overwhelming.
You know, and then guys go thatthat route to keep the secret
because they don't want to faceit head on.
I think it might be the sinthere might be fear.
SPEAKER_04 (09:21):
Yes, yes.
It's like they don't want toconfront it, they don't want to
put it out there.
SPEAKER_02 (09:26):
Unhealthy fear to to write, to face things and to
change it.
So we keep it a secret.
We tuck it away, yes, so that wedon't have to to face this and
get better and move forward.
SPEAKER_04 (09:36):
Yes, but I think uh it's so to go back to like guys
versus girls, I think you knowwhat would a secret be that
girls are keeping, obviouslyspending money.
SPEAKER_02 (09:46):
That's uh okay.
SPEAKER_04 (09:47):
Obviously spending money.
Like I'm I'm buying thingswithout discussing it with my
husband.
That's a secret I'm keeping.
It could be an emotional coping,like how we talked about in the
last episode, how women aredriven to you know drink wine or
do something like that.
It could be, you know, you'redoing an unhealthy uh habit and
you don't want your husband toknow.
SPEAKER_02 (10:05):
That's where we get tore up, guys.
Not tore up, but guys get we getkeeping this under wraps because
we don't.
We don't need to, you don't needto be worried about that.
Yeah.
Like, I'll figure this out.
SPEAKER_04 (10:15):
There could be people out there who are like
smoking in the garage and theydon't want their spouse to know
because they're like, oh, I gavethis up a long time ago, or I'm
drinking, you know, there's abottle in my car and I'm
drinking it right before I gointo the house because I don't
want people to know about it.
It's an unhealthy habit, youknow.
You could be keeping closeconnections with people from
your past or in your present.
(10:36):
Oh, you know, like keepingreally like not necessarily a
relationship, not necessarily athing, but like you're talking a
little more to the Amazon guy.
SPEAKER_02 (10:46):
And you send that happy birthday text to that
long, you know, or long-agorelationship.
SPEAKER_04 (10:52):
That ex that just pops up out of nowhere, and
you're just like, I'm gonnaentertain this.
And I will admit, like that hashappened, and I was like, okay,
but then I caught myself and I'mlike, this this feels wrong.
It feels like for me personally,like it was just too convicting
for me to be like, I can't havethis outside conversation with
(11:12):
someone that I know if it werethe other way around, I would
have a problem with.
And so some people, they don'tlike you said, they don't want
to face that conflict, theydon't want to face that up
front.
They don't think it, they knowit's a big deal, but they want
to play it down as if it's not abig deal.
And so therefore they're like, Ijust, I'm just not gonna share
this.
I'm just gonna keep this underwraps because I can control it.
(11:35):
I can like you said, I canmanage it.
Yeah, I can control this.
Everything's under control solong as it stays within my
control and it's not shared withmy spouse.
SPEAKER_02 (11:48):
So I have two other two other secret issues I want
to think about.
SPEAKER_04 (11:52):
Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this
episode.
And right now we want to justtake a small minute to introduce
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(12:50):
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SPEAKER_02 (12:59):
So, like I was saying, I had two thoughts on I
have two thoughts on secrets,and they kind of go in the same
vein.
SPEAKER_05 (13:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (13:06):
And so I wanted to pick your brain on this.
SPEAKER_05 (13:07):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (13:08):
Number one, yes.
Are there healthy secrets tokeep from your spouse?
SPEAKER_04 (13:12):
I think uh to your point earlier about gifts and
surprises, like if I'm throwingyou a surprise birthday party,
yeah, you know that's a nicesecret, that's a healthy secret
to have.
SPEAKER_00 (13:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:25):
I I'm racking my brain, like if there's a health
scare, if there's a person who'sinvolved in our family, if
there's an exterior person, isthere a financial thing, is
there a emotional secret?
Am I pregnant and I want to waitfor you to tell you at the right
moment, that might be a healthysurprise.
(13:45):
Am I if if I'm keeping a secretto surprise you, yeah, in a in a
in a wholesome way, that'sappropriate.
SPEAKER_02 (13:54):
So if you're delaying the joy.
SPEAKER_04 (13:55):
If I'm delaying the surprise for the right moment,
like if you're you kept thesecret of proposing to me,
right?
Uh well, no, because we weredating.
Okay, and you we made the it wasin February.
We went to the weekend toremember retreat.
SPEAKER_00 (14:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:17):
And we determined, like, okay, the only thing left
for us to do is apply what we'velearned.
SPEAKER_00 (14:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:22):
So we both came to the agreement of like, okay, the
next step is engagement.
SPEAKER_00 (14:27):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (14:28):
So from February to May, yeah, you kept a secret of
like, I'm gonna propose to thiswoman, I'm gonna buy this, I'm
buying the ring.
I'm, you know, you that was thesecret.
SPEAKER_02 (14:39):
Yeah, I guess I snuck around getting the ring
and stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (14:41):
You got the ring, and then like making the
proposal like that was a healthysecret.
That's a healthy secret.
SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:46):
I'm pregnant, I find out that I'm pregnant, you're at
work, I need to tell him.
I kept that a secret.
I talked to you all day long,right?
Knowing that I had this secret,or you know, I knew the sex of
our baby, I knew Jubilee was agirl before you did.
So that was a healthy secretbecause I was like, I'm gonna
wait till I bake this cake, andeven though the cake looked like
(15:07):
crap, like because I was soexcited and everything was
flustered, like I kept that fromyou.
Like, that's a healthy secret.
But for everything else, that'slike not a wholesome surprise.
Yeah, I don't think you shouldkeep a secret.
SPEAKER_02 (15:19):
Here's what I was at with this because I was thinking
through this and getting readyfor the show, and there's a lot
of people who I'm anaccountability partner with.
SPEAKER_04 (15:26):
Okay, that's another angle.
SPEAKER_02 (15:29):
And so they're they share with me.
We talk and we go through reallyimportant confidential things.
Yes, right?
SPEAKER_05 (15:37):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (15:38):
And while I don't feel a need to keep things a
secret from you, I may not tellyou everything because you don't
need to know.
You don't, you know what I mean?
You're not ministering to thatperson, you're not reaching into
their life.
That makes sense.
And there's, you know, it's justI don't need to to let you into
that.
SPEAKER_04 (15:54):
That makes sense.
So when you're interacting withother people's secrets, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:58):
Yeah.
So because to avoid gossip, butat the same time, if I need help
with a problem, if I need helpwith an issue, yes, I'll come to
you and share like namelessly,like, hey, I'm going through
this with one of my friends.
What do you think I what do youthink is good advice to tell
him?
SPEAKER_05 (16:12):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (16:13):
That where it's not a secret, you know what I mean?
So I Yes.
Like I have a good feel forwhere the line is between the
city.
SPEAKER_04 (16:18):
So you're saying keeping secrets with other
people for it because it's theirbusiness.
SPEAKER_02 (16:23):
I think you hit the nail on the head with the
confidentiality.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (16:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:27):
Yeah.
To protect other people'sprivacy.
SPEAKER_04 (16:29):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (16:29):
And I think that is somewhere where we keep secrets.
SPEAKER_04 (16:32):
And you would have to do that, you know, if you
were a pastor, right.
You know, you'd have to keepthat confidentiality.
If you're a counselor, you wouldhave to keep if you're working
in a healthcare, you know, youhave to whole HIPAA law,
everything has to beconfidential in that sense.
SPEAKER_00 (16:43):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (16:43):
You're so you're taking the secrets outside of
the marriage circle.
SPEAKER_00 (16:49):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (16:49):
Whereas I was looking at it within the
marriage circle.
So I think within the marriagecircle, when it's just me and
you, yeah, we should not havesecrets unless it's a delayed
surprise, right?
SPEAKER_00 (16:59):
Okay.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (17:01):
If it's outside of our marriage circle, then yes,
there are people who arestruggling with things and
they're telling you inconfidence that you can keep
that confidential.
And so, yes, that makes sensebecause you don't want to share
their business.
You don't want to gossip.
We don't want to bring gossipinto our marriage.
Right.
And so talking about otherpeople and what their problems
are, and then critiquing orcriticizing or condemning, you
(17:24):
know, that play that could comeinto opening those secrets.
So I understand that.
I respect that.
SPEAKER_02 (17:31):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (17:32):
That makes sense.
SPEAKER_02 (17:33):
And then the second vein is I guess when we talk
through it, it makes it a littleless is what are what do healthy
secrets between a couple?
You know what I mean?
How much it when I say it outloud, it just comes out wrong
because it's there's a lot,because there's a lot that we
don't tell everybody becauseit's between us.
SPEAKER_05 (17:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:54):
Right.
And so I guess I was thinkinglike that, but so have the
confidentiality isconfidentiality.
That's the perfect way to sum itup.
SPEAKER_04 (18:00):
So just having, you know, if we have something going
on, right, and we're keepingthat from the rest of the world.
SPEAKER_02 (18:07):
That's so now we're pretty normal and expected, I
think, in a relationship.
Yeah, we gotta keep our businessin-house.
SPEAKER_04 (18:13):
And I mean, to be clear, we are a relationship
podcast that shares a lot of ourbusiness with the rest of the
world.
Like we've shared a lot of ourbusiness.
SPEAKER_02 (18:22):
You guys don't tell anyone, okay?
SPEAKER_04 (18:24):
We've shared a lot of things, but there are also a
lot of things that we arestruggling with, or you know,
our our own things that we'rebattling, you know, your
weaknesses, my weaknesses.
Like we keep that together inconfidence that we're growing
together because not everybodyneeds to know your business.
Not everybody needs to know yourbusiness.
If you're keeping your businessfrom your spouse, yeah, because
(18:46):
that's the thing, I I think thatis the problem, is man and
woman, husband and wife,sometimes they are keeping their
business from each other.
And it's the wrong kind ofconcept that you should have
when you're married, becausewhen I marry you, yeah, you
become my business, and viceversa.
SPEAKER_03 (19:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (19:06):
And so if there's something that I am struggling
with and I choose not to shareit with you because I don't want
him to get hurt.
SPEAKER_02 (19:16):
If you're struggling with it, we're struggling with
it.
SPEAKER_04 (19:18):
Right, exactly.
I don't want I don't want you toget hurt.
I don't want you to get angry.
I know how you're gonna respond.
You're not gonna respond well.
This isn't gonna end well.
You know, if I'm sick and I geta doctor's report, but that's
that is I don't want to hurthim.
I don't want him to worry, Idon't want him to fear.
I'm caring so much about youthat I'm removing you from my
(19:39):
business, then that's not a goodway to handle your marriage.
SPEAKER_02 (19:43):
That is perfect because that's where the enemy
sneaks in.
SPEAKER_04 (19:45):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (19:46):
That's where the enemy sneaks in and tells you,
hey, don't tell him that.
He's gonna freak out at you.
Right.
Don't tell him that.
SPEAKER_04 (19:51):
Yeah, it's gonna make him so now you're causing
separation within your marriagebecause you're choosing to keep
your business your own business,but you got married, so you guys
have it's your business.
Right.
It's all it's both of yourbusinesses because you you're
now one, you're one thing.
SPEAKER_02 (20:07):
And while that secret is hiding inside of you,
whether you think so or not,you're acting different.
SPEAKER_05 (20:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:13):
And I can pick up on that.
SPEAKER_05 (20:14):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (20:15):
Whether you think so or not, you're acting different,
and she can pick up on that.
Yes, because she knows you.
SPEAKER_05 (20:20):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (20:20):
Even after one year, even after three months of being
married, you know that otherperson better than most people.
SPEAKER_04 (20:26):
So now you're hiding something.
SPEAKER_02 (20:28):
And so all of that is just room for the enemy to
create divide.
Correct.
And that's what we want to,that's what we're fighting
against.
We're fighting for thatconnection.
That marriage connection is whatwe're fighting for.
It's what we're here for, iswhat we're we're standing up for
in talking about temptation.
SPEAKER_04 (20:43):
And so what happens when you keep secrets like that?
You're acting different, you'rewithholding information, you're
not being transparent, you'renot being vulnerable, you're not
being open, you're not beingnaked and unashamed.
So now the trust issues arecoming in.
Because now the other person whohas no idea what you're going
through, has no idea what you'rekeeping from them, right?
(21:04):
Now they're questioning, well,why are they withholding
information from me?
Is it me now?
So now they're second guessingthemselves.
Is it something that I did?
Is there something that I needto be looking at?
So now they're becoming insecureabout themselves, along with the
insecurity of like, well, whywon't they just open up for me?
And then you take it a stepfurther.
So now they're thinking abouttheir past trauma.
(21:25):
Well, so-and-so did this to mein the past, and now they're
acting exactly like how thatperson in my past used to act.
So maybe this is happening allover.
Maybe they're cheating on mebecause I've dealt with cheating
in the past and I know what thatfeels like.
This feels familiar, or youknow, this person is no longer
in love with me because I dealtwith that in the past, or you
(21:46):
know, this person is doingsomething behind my back, and
I've dealt with that in thepast, and this feels familiar.
So I'm gonna make this a similarsituation.
I'm gonna respond in a similarmanner because I've done this
before, and now I'm gonnaprotect myself.
So the insecurity breeds moreinsecurity.
Yes, it breeds more mistrust, itbreeds insecurity.
(22:09):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (22:10):
The insecurity breeds more insecurity and leads
to deeper insecurity because nowyou're going through all these
old hurts and old insecurities.
Yes, and so that secret, thatone little secret, has led to
this imbalance in your wholerelationship, led to this
discomfort and distrust in yourwhole relationship.
SPEAKER_05 (22:28):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
So how do we avoid the secrets?
And you can't just say betransparent because that's
that's not enough.
Because there's fears that getin the way, there's insecurities
that do get in the way.
SPEAKER_04 (22:40):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (22:40):
How do we beat those?
SPEAKER_04 (22:41):
What's up, Love by Faith family?
We want to say thank you so muchfor your support in watching and
engaging in every single episodethat we have put out thus far.
We could not have made it thisfar without you.
SPEAKER_02 (22:53):
That's right.
And we want to grow more, wewant to create new resources, we
want to increase our reach, andwe want to provide more for you
guys.
But the only way to make thathappen is for you to come
alongside and partner with us tosow a seed into this ministry to
help it grow.
SPEAKER_04 (23:08):
Because at the end of the day, it's not about
getting new equipment or puttingout new resources, it's about
expanding the kingdom, it'sabout creating godly marriages.
And we can do that if youpartner alongside us with your
financial support.
There's a link below that youcan click on.
You can contribute one time, oryou can partner with us on a
(23:29):
monthly basis and help us sow aseed so that love by faith can
continue to grow and reach themasses.
SPEAKER_02 (23:35):
If you want to see this ministry grow, follow the
link below and thank you.
We thank you for giving and forbeing just part of this journey
with us.
SPEAKER_04 (23:43):
So that together we can love by faith.
SPEAKER_02 (23:47):
Love by faith, y'all.
That's not a joke.
SPEAKER_04 (23:53):
Love by faith is a joke.
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.
SPEAKER_04 (23:56):
That's not our tagline.
SPEAKER_02 (23:57):
It's a catchphrase.
SPEAKER_04 (23:58):
It's not a catchphrase.
Can you please just use the linkand click below and we would be
grateful.
In Jesus' name.
I'll give you a story.
It's so cute, but it it canapply to this, and it goes back
to Christmas.
Okay.
So this was our first Christmas,I believe, when we were still
dating.
SPEAKER_02 (24:16):
Okay.
And little baby Kyle and Selena.
SPEAKER_04 (24:19):
Kyle had manager money.
Okay, let's just say that.
Selena did not.
Okay.
So I'm like, what can I get,Kyle?
I don't have a whole lot ofmoney.
What can I do to make itmemorable and meaningful and all
these things?
I decided to get a pictureframe.
This this one right here.
SPEAKER_02 (24:35):
It's hanging right there.
The picture right frame.
SPEAKER_04 (24:37):
And I was going to paint little pictures in between
the picture frames to kind ofshare our story and to kind of
share how God kind of just shoneon us and He planted this seed
in us, and our seed is growingto blossom into this loving
relationship.
Okay.
And I was going to put it withlittle pictures of us from our
relationship thus far the firstyear.
(24:58):
So I'm at my house and I'mpainting and I'm drawing and I'm
working really hard because I amcreating this Christmas gift.
Kyle could not stand it.
SPEAKER_02 (25:08):
So wait, when were you when were you working on
this?
SPEAKER_04 (25:10):
I was working on this when I was at home by
myself.
I was working on this on theweekends.
I was working on this basicallyin my spare time.
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
And you're so all of her spare time that I was so
used to getting was gettingdedicated to this secret.
SPEAKER_04 (25:24):
To this secret.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (25:25):
Keep going.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (25:26):
So Kyle couldn't stand it.
SPEAKER_02 (25:28):
So I'm like, what's going on?
SPEAKER_04 (25:29):
What's going on?
SPEAKER_02 (25:31):
Why don't you want to talk to me?
SPEAKER_04 (25:32):
Why don't you want to call me and I would be like,
I really have to get off thephone right now.
I have to do something.
SPEAKER_02 (25:37):
So kids, this is before FaceTime.
So we used to Skype.
And so I was like, why won't youSkype with me?
What's going on?
SPEAKER_04 (25:43):
And I couldn't Skype with him because I had
everything sprawled out.
Like he would see it.
He would, I would reveal thesecret.
And so I would tell him, like,listen, I just need you to trust
me.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (25:55):
You don't want to say that to somebody who is
questioning what's going on, andyou don't want to share the
details of what's going on.
Looking back at this moment,okay, and then finally, like you
blew up.
Finally, you were you werereally upset.
You thought I was doingsomething.
Because remember, this was thiswas year one.
So we were still figuring eachother out.
SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
This was only like, yeah, four or five months into
us dating.
SPEAKER_04 (26:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was Christmas.
And so you were really like,what is happening?
What is going on?
SPEAKER_02 (26:24):
Like you were, I think you were on the verge of
like, do we need to do we needto part or what distrust took
over because I'm like, what isthis girl hiding and sneaking?
Yes.
Yeah.
And so and it wasn't like I wasneedy or clingy.
It was just like really out ofcharacter of her.
And so yeah, keep going.
SPEAKER_04 (26:41):
Yeah.
And so eventually it got to thepoint where I just kind of
yelled and I was so frustrated.
I was like, I'm making yousomething.
Like I am making a gift for you.
And I want it to be a surprise.
And why is why are you actingthis?
Why are you tripping?
Like, I don't understand.
And so it turned into this big,I don't know if it was a fight
or a fight.
(27:02):
But it turned into a blow up.
It blew up at the at the end.
And moving forward, I justthought to myself, like, this
isn't worth it.
The next time I have to dosomething, I'm just gonna tell
him what I'm doing withoutgiving all the specifics away
because it just it's not worthit.
(27:23):
It's not worth the sneakingaround.
So now moving forward, wheneverwe Christmas shop for each other
or birthday shop for each other,we tell each other, we're like,
hey, I'm about to, I'm about tobuy things for you.
Don't look this way.
Don't go out this way.
Okay.
Yeah.
Like, hey, I'm about to receivethings in the mail for you.
(27:44):
Don't look at any of thesepackages.
Or, hey, I'm planning something,chill.
I'm gonna just let it ride.
Yeah.
You know, like so.
I think to answer your question,how do how can this work?
Number one, the person who has asecret, you gotta check your
heart.
You gotta check your heart.
(28:04):
Do you feel convicted aboutkeeping?
Would you feel upset knowing thething that you know and having
your spouse not tell you thatthing?
Would you feel are you are youconvicted?
Do you feel some kind of way?
If so, that is your indication,that is your flag, that is your
sign.
You need to talk about it, youneed to open it up, you need to
(28:24):
say, hey, I am I'm strugglingwith this.
And you have to go in it withthe notion that this is your
partner.
They vowed to love you forbetter or for worse.
You should not keep anythingfrom them because you are one.
That's like keeping somethingfrom one side of your face so
that the other side of your facedoesn't realize that it's there.
(28:47):
You cannot do this because it'sgonna cause division and it's
only a distraction to keep youguys from growing closer
together.
And so you have to be open withthis without shame or without
fear that something is gonnaboil over.
And if you have fear, like thisis it, the thing that the secret
that I'm holding is gonna wreckus, is gonna totally just
(29:12):
destroy this marriage.
They're gonna divorce me,they're gonna do all these
things, then you better praybefore you share.
SPEAKER_00 (29:19):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (29:19):
You better invite Holy Spirit into that
conversation before you sharebecause you don't know that
person's heart.
You're only projecting your ownfears, you're only projecting
your own insecurity.
So please let that person have achance to react and respond
because love is very powerful,and you have no idea what love
can do and how love can heal ifyou allow love a chance to enter
(29:43):
into that situation.
SPEAKER_02 (29:44):
Let love, yep.
You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04 (29:47):
So that's right, those are for the big ones.
SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
For the small ones, they're all big ones for the
small ones because even thesmall little surprise grew up
into a big one.
It's her dead.
They're all big ones.
SPEAKER_04 (29:56):
For the non detrimental thing.
The small surprises, the littleinstances, the things that
hasn't had time and space togrow and evolve into a really
big thing.
Okay.
Just be open and honest.
And I think that comes from theperson who has the secret.
You have to take initiative tostart that communication.
(30:19):
Don't sit there and play dumband wait for the other partner
to be like, what's going on?
Because by then it's too late.
By then they're already formingthoughts in their head that
something is off and that you'reacting weird.
And why haven't they saidsomething yet?
They're waiting for you to takeaction.
So you start with that.
SPEAKER_02 (30:40):
Lead with that.
SPEAKER_04 (30:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (30:43):
Wow.
So the temptation to keepsecrets.
I think we covered a lot ofthat.
SPEAKER_05 (30:49):
We did.
SPEAKER_02 (30:49):
That's that's a lot to talk about.
SPEAKER_05 (30:51):
It is a lot.
SPEAKER_02 (30:52):
The best part is that we created for the playbook
a new play in there to battletemptation and to defeat
temptation.
Yes.
And I know that there arequestions in there to help you
discover these hidden secretsand to reveal it so that you can
communicate together about thisand grow together.
Follow the link in thedescription to get your
playbook.
Use that.
It's not there for waste, it'snot there for just take up space
(31:15):
in your memory card.
Like it's real.
SPEAKER_04 (31:17):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And I think there's no betterway uh to end this episode, you
know, and we hope that if youare struggling with a secret
that you have, I'm sure that itis doing something inside of
you.
And truth and honesty and lovewill set it free.
SPEAKER_01 (31:35):
That's right.
SPEAKER_04 (31:36):
So we just pray and encourage that this episode
nudged you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:39):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (31:40):
We don't want to be condemning, but we pray that it
nudged you to pray about it andto really follow up with your
spouse about it or your partnerso that you can establish
freedom in your relationship.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (31:53):
Love by faith, y'all.
SPEAKER_04 (31:56):
Love by faith, y'all.
Kyle, will you please pray usout?
SPEAKER_02 (31:59):
Lord, we're grateful that you've given us this space
to talk and share and toencourage couples how to love
better, how to live better.
We give you the glory for all ofit, Lord.
unknown (32:10):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (32:10):
We want to just be used by you.
We want to be your vessels, yourconduit for the Holy Spirit to
speak to people, Lord.
We pray for those couples whoneed to have hard talks and that
they would be able to have thatwith courage and work together
and that love would conquer itall.
We give you the glory in Jesus'name.
Amen.
SPEAKER_04 (32:30):
Amen.
Thank you guys so much fortuning in to Love by Faith.
If this is something that youare watching on YouTube, please
like, share, subscribe.
If you are listening to it, weappreciate you.
We ask that if this is somethingthat resonated with you, to
please tap those five stars,give us a great review so that
other couples like you can findus and learn how to love by
(32:50):
faith as well.
SPEAKER_02 (32:51):
Yes.
We're in the middle of our Loveby Faith crowdfunding campaign.
Yes.
So if you've been blessed bythis podcast and you feel led to
give, there's a link in thedescription.
We appreciate you, we love you,and we want to just keep
providing this podcast and toprovide more resources and grow
and get bigger things for morelove by faith for all of you.
(33:12):
Thanks for joining us today.
We'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_05 (33:15):
Bye.
SPEAKER_02 (33:16):
Love by faith, y'all.
I have really good news.
SPEAKER_05 (33:25):
What?
SPEAKER_02 (33:26):
I don't have to go.
SPEAKER_05 (33:27):
Yay.
SPEAKER_02 (33:28):
We're doing great.
SPEAKER_05 (33:29):
Yay.
SPEAKER_02 (33:30):
We're getting in our rhythm.
The season three thing is reallylike it's really good.
We've uh we learned from ourmistakes in season one and two.
SPEAKER_04 (33:37):
Absolutely.
We're doing good.
SPEAKER_02 (33:39):
No, I can just sit here.
SPEAKER_04 (33:40):
No, no, we got things to do.
We got we now I well, let's gohit the honeydew list before you
uh before you leave.
SPEAKER_02 (33:50):
I guess I do gotta go.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (33:52):
I've been waiting.
I've just been piling all thethings on the list for every
time you left.
And I'm like, finally, he cancome and fix this hole in the
wall.
SPEAKER_02 (34:01):
Or there's no holes in our wall.
SPEAKER_04 (34:03):
Hang up this this thing on the wall.
SPEAKER_02 (34:05):
That I want to do for sure.
SPEAKER_04 (34:07):
Fix this appliance, do something, mow this grass, do
do all the things.
I love you, honey.
SPEAKER_02 (34:16):
Love you too, what?
SPEAKER_04 (34:20):
Yeah, that was good.
It's the temptation to keep secrets.
SPEAKER_04 (00:02):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (00:02):
Are there healthy secrets to keep from your
spouse?
SPEAKER_04 (00:04):
Why are you acting this?
Why are you tripping?
SPEAKER_02 (00:07):
They don't need to know about it.
They didn't care to ask aboutit.
SPEAKER_04 (00:09):
How do you feel about keeping secrets from your
wife?
SPEAKER_02 (00:11):
I'm really good at it.
I like to do it a lot.
SPEAKER_04 (00:15):
We're not perfect people.
By any means.
But by trusting in God, welearned what it takes to build a
friendship, a relationship, andmarriage that has stood the test
of time.
SPEAKER_01 (00:26):
With a keeping it real style, we're gonna talk to
you about everything.
Everything that we've beenthrough, are going through, and
have overcome all by learninghow to lean on God and each
other in order to help you learnhow to love by faith.
SPEAKER_02 (00:57):
How are you doing today?
I'm good.
SPEAKER_04 (01:00):
Oh yeah.
Getting close to thatThanksgiving season.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
Dude, I can't wait.
SPEAKER_04 (01:04):
Some people are already into like Christmas,
full blown.
I know the trees up right now.
Are you one of those people?
Let us know in the chat becausewe will know not to reach out to
you.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
We're Thanksgiving.
We're Thanksgiving week peoplewhere we uh put up our
decorations the week afterThanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02 (01:22):
Yeah.
Are there any new themes comingthis year for our Thanksgiving
decorations?
SPEAKER_04 (01:26):
No.
I have the same decorations.
SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
I mean new I meant for Christmas.
I said Thanksgiving, I meantChristmas.
SPEAKER_04 (01:32):
No, we don't have any new things.
You mean like a Ralph LaurenChristmas?
SPEAKER_02 (01:36):
No, like oh, I wanted to get these yoga nomies.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_04 (01:42):
I always want to get gnomies.
Okay, so guys, there's you'veheard of Elf on the Shelf.
Kyle and I do something a littledifferently in our family.
It's called Gnomi the Homie.
And this year they have a Nomiadvent calendar.
Are we gonna get that?
So that every day we add to thehomies.
I want to add to the homies.
(02:02):
I want it to be just a gang ofgnomies.
SPEAKER_02 (02:04):
25 gnomes to do something.
SPEAKER_04 (02:06):
29 nomies to just do mischievous things around our
house all every year.
And our kids know.
Our kids know.
It's like the same setup everyyear.
We do the same activities everyevery night, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (02:17):
It's the same routine of what the same
routine.
SPEAKER_04 (02:20):
We don't go crazy with it.
We don't get no, it's last yearthey did this, this year they're
gonna do it again.
SPEAKER_02 (02:25):
It's funny that you say we do this because most of
the time she's like, Kyle, yougotta set this up.
Oh, we forgot to do the gnome.
Kyle, go get it.
Go do it.
SPEAKER_05 (02:35):
Quick.
SPEAKER_02 (02:36):
All right.
Gnomes be keeping secrets.
Speaking of secrets, what aboutthem?
This episode this week'sepisode, episode two of the
season.
Yes.
It's the temptation to keepsecrets.
SPEAKER_04 (02:47):
Yes, yes.
So welcome to Love by Faith.
If you guys are new here,welcome.
We are glad to have you.
Kyle and Selena here, and we aredoing a month-long series on
temptation.
If you guys are with us from dayone, then what's up?
Welcome back.
We're glad to have you here.
And you guys may have heard theepisode last week where we
talked about temptations tolook.
(03:08):
Oh, we were looking away.
Yes.
And so this week.
Instead of looking away, we lookup, that's right, or look inward
and all the things.
And this week we are gonna talkabout the secrets.
SPEAKER_02 (03:21):
Ooh, tempted to keep secrets.
SPEAKER_04 (03:23):
Secrets.
Isn't there like a an RB songabout secrets?
I'm sure there's a million otherthings.
There's like a thousand, right?
There has to be a secrets thing.
Anyways, Kyle, how do you feelabout keeping secrets from your
wife?
SPEAKER_02 (03:35):
I'm really good at it.
I like to do it a lot.
SPEAKER_04 (03:39):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (03:40):
I like to do it a lot.
I find them very useful andhelpful.
SPEAKER_04 (03:44):
Like what?
Tell me.
What secrets do you have?
SPEAKER_02 (03:46):
Usually I have secrets about gifts for you.
SPEAKER_04 (03:49):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:49):
I have secrets about gifts for you.
Okay.
So those are the kind of secretsI always keep.
SPEAKER_04 (03:54):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
Those are that's when I lie to you and keep
secrets for me.
SPEAKER_04 (03:56):
Dang, you lied to me.
SPEAKER_02 (03:58):
It's about gifts.
SPEAKER_04 (03:59):
Wow.
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (03:59):
If it's for your for your blessing.
SPEAKER_04 (04:02):
Kyle, you shouldn't lie.
I will totally thou shalt notlie for the sake of my gifts.
SPEAKER_02 (04:08):
Lied to you to keep a surprise.
SPEAKER_04 (04:09):
I keep it totally 100.
If you ask me, if you're like,are you sneaking?
Are you doing stuff?
I'm like, absolutely I am.
Yes, I am.
Okay, well, what is it?
SPEAKER_02 (04:18):
You're so good at sneaking that I'm like, hey, are
you sneaking?
I never, I'm never like, hey,are you sneaking?
Because I don't catch yousneaking.
SPEAKER_05 (04:25):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (04:27):
Or if I do, I don't even ask, I just say something.
You're up.
I'm doing it.
SPEAKER_04 (04:31):
You better watch it.
I you I'm I'll be doing stuff,and you just don't care to ask
questions.
So if you're not gonna askquestions, I'm not gonna give
you information.
But see me, I'm alwaysobservant.
I'm like, he's he's up.
He's doing this is off.
This is not according to thepattern of everyday life.
(04:52):
And so I'll straight up, are youdoing something?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
What's that for?
Why was there an Amazon order inour email?
What's that about?
We don't have an Amazon ordercoming in.
SPEAKER_02 (05:03):
Hence, I had to get my secret personal Amazon
account.
You sure did get an Amazonaccount so that I could buy
stuff for you without you askingquestions.
SPEAKER_04 (05:11):
So yeah, when you do ask me questions, I just meet
them.
I don't have to lie.
Like, yes, yes, I am.
You want to know more?
No, I'm not gonna tell you more.
You know everything you need toknow at this point.
SPEAKER_02 (05:22):
In your women's single by faith society, yes,
where you meet and talk and havechit-chats and preach and teach
them all sorts of stuff.
What kind of secrets do you hearin there?
Not like what kind of secrets dopeople have, but what kind of
secrets are people keeping intheir relationships?
Like what are some themes aroundto keep secrets?
SPEAKER_04 (05:40):
So it's not even like keeping secrets, because
when you think about likekeeping a secret, it's like you
obtain information and thenyou're keep you're purposely
keeping that information fromsomeone else knowing about it,
right?
But when it comes to, forexample, the single women within
single by faith society, it'smore so I have information
(06:03):
already, yeah, and I'm justwithholding it for the right
particular time.
So, for example, um, in themonth of October, we were
talking about one of the lessonsin the single by faith society,
which was how to incorporate Godinto your new relationship.
And the reason why I talk aboutthis and break it down is
(06:24):
because I want women to knowupfront how to be comfortable
and confident sharing theirfaith and sharing their
intentions with keeping Christat the center so that by the
time their emotions do run high,or by the time things get
serious, that person on theother end of that relationship
is fully aware of what to expectwhen it comes to their faith and
(06:47):
when it comes to how thisrelationship is gonna play out
because they are committed tohonoring God and being pure and
fearing him and keeping hiscommands and all those things.
And so for some women, there arenot necessarily my particular
woman in the society, but thereare some women who are like, I
have a shameful past.
(07:08):
I'm not gonna share thatinformation, I'm gonna keep that
because they don't need to knowthat right now.
Or I, you know, I'm strugglingwith finances.
I'm gonna keep that informationuntil they need to know like
they don't need to know thatyet.
Yeah, like they don't need toknow that yet.
Whereas like a secret is likewe're in the relationship.
(07:29):
I did something in thatrelationship in real time.
I'm just not gonna tell youabout it.
That's how I see the difference.
Yeah, you know, like there's a Ithink there's a fine line
between holding with withholdinginformation and having a secret.
SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:46):
But at the same time, they're kind of all it
kind of goes in the same lane.
You're holding information,you're not being upfront, you're
not being transparent.
Okay, or the person is notasking enough questions.
So if they're not gonna ask, I'mnot gonna offer.
SPEAKER_02 (08:00):
And that's that's the attitude that people bring
into their relationship.
Absolutely.
Is that I'm gonna just gonnakeep this under wraps because
they don't need to know aboutit, they didn't care to ask
about it, so it obviously isn'timportant.
So I'm just gonna just gonnatuck that away.
SPEAKER_04 (08:14):
I feel like guys use that as a kind not a
manipulation tool, but kind ofas a weapon of like, well, you
didn't ask.
So it's like that's your faultthat you don't know this
information because you didn'task.
So why why are you mad at mewhen you never bothered to ask?
I would have willing I wouldhave told you, but you never
(08:34):
asked.
SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
So the guy's secrets are a communication problem?
SPEAKER_04 (08:39):
The guy there's a lot of problems.
SPEAKER_02 (08:42):
Yeah, yeah, no.
I'm just what you said, it's acommunication problem because he
didn't want to talk about ituntil it was asked about.
SPEAKER_04 (08:48):
I don't think it's a communication problem.
SPEAKER_02 (08:51):
I think it's uh it is, it's a transparency
communication problem.
SPEAKER_04 (08:58):
Yeah, because we can't they're not willing to
share things right because theydon't want to talk about it.
They don't want to talk aboutit.
It's like a comforting.
SPEAKER_02 (09:06):
You're gonna ask us 50,000 questions, and maybe like
three would be okay, but 50,000,it gets overwhelming.
You know, and then guys go thatthat route to keep the secret
because they don't want to faceit head on.
I think it might be the sinthere might be fear.
SPEAKER_04 (09:21):
Yes, yes.
It's like they don't want toconfront it, they don't want to
put it out there.
SPEAKER_02 (09:26):
Unhealthy fear to to write, to face things and to
change it.
So we keep it a secret.
We tuck it away, yes, so that wedon't have to to face this and
get better and move forward.
SPEAKER_04 (09:36):
Yes, but I think uh it's so to go back to like guys
versus girls, I think you knowwhat would a secret be that
girls are keeping, obviouslyspending money.
SPEAKER_02 (09:46):
That's uh okay.
SPEAKER_04 (09:47):
Obviously spending money.
Like I'm I'm buying thingswithout discussing it with my
husband.
That's a secret I'm keeping.
It could be an emotional coping,like how we talked about in the
last episode, how women aredriven to you know drink wine or
do something like that.
It could be, you know, you'redoing an unhealthy uh habit and
you don't want your husband toknow.
SPEAKER_02 (10:05):
That's where we get tore up, guys.
Not tore up, but guys get we getkeeping this under wraps because
we don't.
We don't need to, you don't needto be worried about that.
Yeah.
Like, I'll figure this out.
SPEAKER_04 (10:15):
There could be people out there who are like
smoking in the garage and theydon't want their spouse to know
because they're like, oh, I gavethis up a long time ago, or I'm
drinking, you know, there's abottle in my car and I'm
drinking it right before I gointo the house because I don't
want people to know about it.
It's an unhealthy habit, youknow.
You could be keeping closeconnections with people from
your past or in your present.
(10:36):
Oh, you know, like keepingreally like not necessarily a
relationship, not necessarily athing, but like you're talking a
little more to the Amazon guy.
SPEAKER_02 (10:46):
And you send that happy birthday text to that
long, you know, or long-agorelationship.
SPEAKER_04 (10:52):
That ex that just pops up out of nowhere, and
you're just like, I'm gonnaentertain this.
And I will admit, like that hashappened, and I was like, okay,
but then I caught myself and I'mlike, this this feels wrong.
It feels like for me personally,like it was just too convicting
for me to be like, I can't havethis outside conversation with
(11:12):
someone that I know if it werethe other way around, I would
have a problem with.
And so some people, they don'tlike you said, they don't want
to face that conflict, theydon't want to face that up
front.
They don't think it, they knowit's a big deal, but they want
to play it down as if it's not abig deal.
And so therefore they're like, Ijust, I'm just not gonna share
this.
I'm just gonna keep this underwraps because I can control it.
(11:35):
I can like you said, I canmanage it.
Yeah, I can control this.
Everything's under control solong as it stays within my
control and it's not shared withmy spouse.
SPEAKER_02 (11:48):
So I have two other two other secret issues I want
to think about.
SPEAKER_04 (11:52):
Hey everyone, we hope that you're enjoying this
episode.
And right now we want to justtake a small minute to introduce
to you the latest thing that wecreated to help you elevate your
relationship and take it to thenext level.
It's called the Love by Faithplaybook.
SPEAKER_02 (12:08):
Every good coach knows they have to have winning
plays.
We went through our foundationseries and we pulled out some of
the best winning plays andcreated strategies for you guys.
Plays like how to be betterfinancially, how to do ministry
together, how to be betterromantically, how to be better
family life.
We went through all thesedifferent areas from the
foundation series and put ittogether in a playbook.
SPEAKER_04 (12:28):
So grab your love by faith playbook today.
You can use the link in thedescription below, enter it, and
the good news about this is thatit is a living document.
So you download it one time, andevery single month we're gonna
be updating this document togive you fresh new plays to help
you and your partner love byfaith and create a winning
(12:50):
season.
Go ahead and get your love byfaith playbook now, and let's
get back into this episode.
SPEAKER_02 (12:59):
So, like I was saying, I had two thoughts on I
have two thoughts on secrets,and they kind of go in the same
vein.
SPEAKER_05 (13:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (13:06):
And so I wanted to pick your brain on this.
SPEAKER_05 (13:07):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (13:08):
Number one, yes.
Are there healthy secrets tokeep from your spouse?
SPEAKER_04 (13:12):
I think uh to your point earlier about gifts and
surprises, like if I'm throwingyou a surprise birthday party,
yeah, you know that's a nicesecret, that's a healthy secret
to have.
SPEAKER_00 (13:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:25):
I I'm racking my brain, like if there's a health
scare, if there's a person who'sinvolved in our family, if
there's an exterior person, isthere a financial thing, is
there a emotional secret?
Am I pregnant and I want to waitfor you to tell you at the right
moment, that might be a healthysurprise.
(13:45):
Am I if if I'm keeping a secretto surprise you, yeah, in a in a
in a wholesome way, that'sappropriate.
SPEAKER_02 (13:54):
So if you're delaying the joy.
SPEAKER_04 (13:55):
If I'm delaying the surprise for the right moment,
like if you're you kept thesecret of proposing to me,
right?
Uh well, no, because we weredating.
Okay, and you we made the it wasin February.
We went to the weekend toremember retreat.
SPEAKER_00 (14:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:17):
And we determined, like, okay, the only thing left
for us to do is apply what we'velearned.
SPEAKER_00 (14:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:22):
So we both came to the agreement of like, okay, the
next step is engagement.
SPEAKER_00 (14:27):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (14:28):
So from February to May, yeah, you kept a secret of
like, I'm gonna propose to thiswoman, I'm gonna buy this, I'm
buying the ring.
I'm, you know, you that was thesecret.
SPEAKER_02 (14:39):
Yeah, I guess I snuck around getting the ring
and stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (14:41):
You got the ring, and then like making the
proposal like that was a healthysecret.
That's a healthy secret.
SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:46):
I'm pregnant, I find out that I'm pregnant, you're at
work, I need to tell him.
I kept that a secret.
I talked to you all day long,right?
Knowing that I had this secret,or you know, I knew the sex of
our baby, I knew Jubilee was agirl before you did.
So that was a healthy secretbecause I was like, I'm gonna
wait till I bake this cake, andeven though the cake looked like
(15:07):
crap, like because I was soexcited and everything was
flustered, like I kept that fromyou.
Like, that's a healthy secret.
But for everything else, that'slike not a wholesome surprise.
Yeah, I don't think you shouldkeep a secret.
SPEAKER_02 (15:19):
Here's what I was at with this because I was thinking
through this and getting readyfor the show, and there's a lot
of people who I'm anaccountability partner with.
SPEAKER_04 (15:26):
Okay, that's another angle.
SPEAKER_02 (15:29):
And so they're they share with me.
We talk and we go through reallyimportant confidential things.
Yes, right?
SPEAKER_05 (15:37):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (15:38):
And while I don't feel a need to keep things a
secret from you, I may not tellyou everything because you don't
need to know.
You don't, you know what I mean?
You're not ministering to thatperson, you're not reaching into
their life.
That makes sense.
And there's, you know, it's justI don't need to to let you into
that.
SPEAKER_04 (15:54):
That makes sense.
So when you're interacting withother people's secrets, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:58):
Yeah.
So because to avoid gossip, butat the same time, if I need help
with a problem, if I need helpwith an issue, yes, I'll come to
you and share like namelessly,like, hey, I'm going through
this with one of my friends.
What do you think I what do youthink is good advice to tell
him?
SPEAKER_05 (16:12):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (16:13):
That where it's not a secret, you know what I mean?
So I Yes.
Like I have a good feel forwhere the line is between the
city.
SPEAKER_04 (16:18):
So you're saying keeping secrets with other
people for it because it's theirbusiness.
SPEAKER_02 (16:23):
I think you hit the nail on the head with the
confidentiality.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (16:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:27):
Yeah.
To protect other people'sprivacy.
SPEAKER_04 (16:29):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (16:29):
And I think that is somewhere where we keep secrets.
SPEAKER_04 (16:32):
And you would have to do that, you know, if you
were a pastor, right.
You know, you'd have to keepthat confidentiality.
If you're a counselor, you wouldhave to keep if you're working
in a healthcare, you know, youhave to whole HIPAA law,
everything has to beconfidential in that sense.
SPEAKER_00 (16:43):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (16:43):
You're so you're taking the secrets outside of
the marriage circle.
SPEAKER_00 (16:49):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (16:49):
Whereas I was looking at it within the
marriage circle.
So I think within the marriagecircle, when it's just me and
you, yeah, we should not havesecrets unless it's a delayed
surprise, right?
SPEAKER_00 (16:59):
Okay.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (17:01):
If it's outside of our marriage circle, then yes,
there are people who arestruggling with things and
they're telling you inconfidence that you can keep
that confidential.
And so, yes, that makes sensebecause you don't want to share
their business.
You don't want to gossip.
We don't want to bring gossipinto our marriage.
Right.
And so talking about otherpeople and what their problems
are, and then critiquing orcriticizing or condemning, you
(17:24):
know, that play that could comeinto opening those secrets.
So I understand that.
I respect that.
SPEAKER_02 (17:31):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (17:32):
That makes sense.
SPEAKER_02 (17:33):
And then the second vein is I guess when we talk
through it, it makes it a littleless is what are what do healthy
secrets between a couple?
You know what I mean?
How much it when I say it outloud, it just comes out wrong
because it's there's a lot,because there's a lot that we
don't tell everybody becauseit's between us.
SPEAKER_05 (17:53):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:54):
Right.
And so I guess I was thinkinglike that, but so have the
confidentiality isconfidentiality.
That's the perfect way to sum itup.
SPEAKER_04 (18:00):
So just having, you know, if we have something going
on, right, and we're keepingthat from the rest of the world.
SPEAKER_02 (18:07):
That's so now we're pretty normal and expected, I
think, in a relationship.
Yeah, we gotta keep our businessin-house.
SPEAKER_04 (18:13):
And I mean, to be clear, we are a relationship
podcast that shares a lot of ourbusiness with the rest of the
world.
Like we've shared a lot of ourbusiness.
SPEAKER_02 (18:22):
You guys don't tell anyone, okay?
SPEAKER_04 (18:24):
We've shared a lot of things, but there are also a
lot of things that we arestruggling with, or you know,
our our own things that we'rebattling, you know, your
weaknesses, my weaknesses.
Like we keep that together inconfidence that we're growing
together because not everybodyneeds to know your business.
Not everybody needs to know yourbusiness.
If you're keeping your businessfrom your spouse, yeah, because
(18:46):
that's the thing, I I think thatis the problem, is man and
woman, husband and wife,sometimes they are keeping their
business from each other.
And it's the wrong kind ofconcept that you should have
when you're married, becausewhen I marry you, yeah, you
become my business, and viceversa.
SPEAKER_03 (19:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (19:06):
And so if there's something that I am struggling
with and I choose not to shareit with you because I don't want
him to get hurt.
SPEAKER_02 (19:16):
If you're struggling with it, we're struggling with
it.
SPEAKER_04 (19:18):
Right, exactly.
I don't want I don't want you toget hurt.
I don't want you to get angry.
I know how you're gonna respond.
You're not gonna respond well.
This isn't gonna end well.
You know, if I'm sick and I geta doctor's report, but that's
that is I don't want to hurthim.
I don't want him to worry, Idon't want him to fear.
I'm caring so much about youthat I'm removing you from my
(19:39):
business, then that's not a goodway to handle your marriage.
SPEAKER_02 (19:43):
That is perfect because that's where the enemy
sneaks in.
SPEAKER_04 (19:45):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (19:46):
That's where the enemy sneaks in and tells you,
hey, don't tell him that.
He's gonna freak out at you.
Right.
Don't tell him that.
SPEAKER_04 (19:51):
Yeah, it's gonna make him so now you're causing
separation within your marriagebecause you're choosing to keep
your business your own business,but you got married, so you guys
have it's your business.
Right.
It's all it's both of yourbusinesses because you you're
now one, you're one thing.
SPEAKER_02 (20:07):
And while that secret is hiding inside of you,
whether you think so or not,you're acting different.
SPEAKER_05 (20:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:13):
And I can pick up on that.
SPEAKER_05 (20:14):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (20:15):
Whether you think so or not, you're acting different,
and she can pick up on that.
Yes, because she knows you.
SPEAKER_05 (20:20):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (20:20):
Even after one year, even after three months of being
married, you know that otherperson better than most people.
SPEAKER_04 (20:26):
So now you're hiding something.
SPEAKER_02 (20:28):
And so all of that is just room for the enemy to
create divide.
Correct.
And that's what we want to,that's what we're fighting
against.
We're fighting for thatconnection.
That marriage connection is whatwe're fighting for.
It's what we're here for, iswhat we're we're standing up for
in talking about temptation.
SPEAKER_04 (20:43):
And so what happens when you keep secrets like that?
You're acting different, you'rewithholding information, you're
not being transparent, you'renot being vulnerable, you're not
being open, you're not beingnaked and unashamed.
So now the trust issues arecoming in.
Because now the other person whohas no idea what you're going
through, has no idea what you'rekeeping from them, right?
(21:04):
Now they're questioning, well,why are they withholding
information from me?
Is it me now?
So now they're second guessingthemselves.
Is it something that I did?
Is there something that I needto be looking at?
So now they're becoming insecureabout themselves, along with the
insecurity of like, well, whywon't they just open up for me?
And then you take it a stepfurther.
So now they're thinking abouttheir past trauma.
(21:25):
Well, so-and-so did this to mein the past, and now they're
acting exactly like how thatperson in my past used to act.
So maybe this is happening allover.
Maybe they're cheating on mebecause I've dealt with cheating
in the past and I know what thatfeels like.
This feels familiar, or youknow, this person is no longer
in love with me because I dealtwith that in the past, or you
(21:46):
know, this person is doingsomething behind my back, and
I've dealt with that in thepast, and this feels familiar.
So I'm gonna make this a similarsituation.
I'm gonna respond in a similarmanner because I've done this
before, and now I'm gonnaprotect myself.
So the insecurity breeds moreinsecurity.
Yes, it breeds more mistrust, itbreeds insecurity.
(22:09):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (22:10):
The insecurity breeds more insecurity and leads
to deeper insecurity because nowyou're going through all these
old hurts and old insecurities.
Yes, and so that secret, thatone little secret, has led to
this imbalance in your wholerelationship, led to this
discomfort and distrust in yourwhole relationship.
SPEAKER_05 (22:28):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
So how do we avoid the secrets?
And you can't just say betransparent because that's
that's not enough.
Because there's fears that getin the way, there's insecurities
that do get in the way.
SPEAKER_04 (22:40):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (22:40):
How do we beat those?
SPEAKER_04 (22:41):
What's up, Love by Faith family?
We want to say thank you so muchfor your support in watching and
engaging in every single episodethat we have put out thus far.
We could not have made it thisfar without you.
SPEAKER_02 (22:53):
That's right.
And we want to grow more, wewant to create new resources, we
want to increase our reach, andwe want to provide more for you
guys.
But the only way to make thathappen is for you to come
alongside and partner with us tosow a seed into this ministry to
help it grow.
SPEAKER_04 (23:08):
Because at the end of the day, it's not about
getting new equipment or puttingout new resources, it's about
expanding the kingdom, it'sabout creating godly marriages.
And we can do that if youpartner alongside us with your
financial support.
There's a link below that youcan click on.
You can contribute one time, oryou can partner with us on a
(23:29):
monthly basis and help us sow aseed so that love by faith can
continue to grow and reach themasses.
SPEAKER_02 (23:35):
If you want to see this ministry grow, follow the
link below and thank you.
We thank you for giving and forbeing just part of this journey
with us.
SPEAKER_04 (23:43):
So that together we can love by faith.
SPEAKER_02 (23:47):
Love by faith, y'all.
That's not a joke.
SPEAKER_04 (23:53):
Love by faith is a joke.
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
Love by faith, y'all is not a joke.
SPEAKER_04 (23:56):
That's not our tagline.
SPEAKER_02 (23:57):
It's a catchphrase.
SPEAKER_04 (23:58):
It's not a catchphrase.
Can you please just use the linkand click below and we would be
grateful.
In Jesus' name.
I'll give you a story.
It's so cute, but it it canapply to this, and it goes back
to Christmas.
Okay.
So this was our first Christmas,I believe, when we were still
dating.
SPEAKER_02 (24:16):
Okay.
And little baby Kyle and Selena.
SPEAKER_04 (24:19):
Kyle had manager money.
Okay, let's just say that.
Selena did not.
Okay.
So I'm like, what can I get,Kyle?
I don't have a whole lot ofmoney.
What can I do to make itmemorable and meaningful and all
these things?
I decided to get a pictureframe.
This this one right here.
SPEAKER_02 (24:35):
It's hanging right there.
The picture right frame.
SPEAKER_04 (24:37):
And I was going to paint little pictures in between
the picture frames to kind ofshare our story and to kind of
share how God kind of just shoneon us and He planted this seed
in us, and our seed is growingto blossom into this loving
relationship.
Okay.
And I was going to put it withlittle pictures of us from our
relationship thus far the firstyear.
(24:58):
So I'm at my house and I'mpainting and I'm drawing and I'm
working really hard because I amcreating this Christmas gift.
Kyle could not stand it.
SPEAKER_02 (25:08):
So wait, when were you when were you working on
this?
SPEAKER_04 (25:10):
I was working on this when I was at home by
myself.
I was working on this on theweekends.
I was working on this basicallyin my spare time.
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
And you're so all of her spare time that I was so
used to getting was gettingdedicated to this secret.
SPEAKER_04 (25:24):
To this secret.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (25:25):
Keep going.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (25:26):
So Kyle couldn't stand it.
SPEAKER_02 (25:28):
So I'm like, what's going on?
SPEAKER_04 (25:29):
What's going on?
SPEAKER_02 (25:31):
Why don't you want to talk to me?
SPEAKER_04 (25:32):
Why don't you want to call me and I would be like,
I really have to get off thephone right now.
I have to do something.
SPEAKER_02 (25:37):
So kids, this is before FaceTime.
So we used to Skype.
And so I was like, why won't youSkype with me?
What's going on?
SPEAKER_04 (25:43):
And I couldn't Skype with him because I had
everything sprawled out.
Like he would see it.
He would, I would reveal thesecret.
And so I would tell him, like,listen, I just need you to trust
me.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (25:55):
You don't want to say that to somebody who is
questioning what's going on, andyou don't want to share the
details of what's going on.
Looking back at this moment,okay, and then finally, like you
blew up.
Finally, you were you werereally upset.
You thought I was doingsomething.
Because remember, this was thiswas year one.
So we were still figuring eachother out.
SPEAKER_02 (26:15):
This was only like, yeah, four or five months into
us dating.
SPEAKER_04 (26:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was Christmas.
And so you were really like,what is happening?
What is going on?
SPEAKER_02 (26:24):
Like you were, I think you were on the verge of
like, do we need to do we needto part or what distrust took
over because I'm like, what isthis girl hiding and sneaking?
Yes.
Yeah.
And so and it wasn't like I wasneedy or clingy.
It was just like really out ofcharacter of her.
And so yeah, keep going.
SPEAKER_04 (26:41):
Yeah.
And so eventually it got to thepoint where I just kind of
yelled and I was so frustrated.
I was like, I'm making yousomething.
Like I am making a gift for you.
And I want it to be a surprise.
And why is why are you actingthis?
Why are you tripping?
Like, I don't understand.
And so it turned into this big,I don't know if it was a fight
or a fight.
(27:02):
But it turned into a blow up.
It blew up at the at the end.
And moving forward, I justthought to myself, like, this
isn't worth it.
The next time I have to dosomething, I'm just gonna tell
him what I'm doing withoutgiving all the specifics away
because it just it's not worthit.
(27:23):
It's not worth the sneakingaround.
So now moving forward, wheneverwe Christmas shop for each other
or birthday shop for each other,we tell each other, we're like,
hey, I'm about to, I'm about tobuy things for you.
Don't look this way.
Don't go out this way.
Okay.
Yeah.
Like, hey, I'm about to receivethings in the mail for you.
(27:44):
Don't look at any of thesepackages.
Or, hey, I'm planning something,chill.
I'm gonna just let it ride.
Yeah.
You know, like so.
I think to answer your question,how do how can this work?
Number one, the person who has asecret, you gotta check your
heart.
You gotta check your heart.
(28:04):
Do you feel convicted aboutkeeping?
Would you feel upset knowing thething that you know and having
your spouse not tell you thatthing?
Would you feel are you are youconvicted?
Do you feel some kind of way?
If so, that is your indication,that is your flag, that is your
sign.
You need to talk about it, youneed to open it up, you need to
(28:24):
say, hey, I am I'm strugglingwith this.
And you have to go in it withthe notion that this is your
partner.
They vowed to love you forbetter or for worse.
You should not keep anythingfrom them because you are one.
That's like keeping somethingfrom one side of your face so
that the other side of your facedoesn't realize that it's there.
(28:47):
You cannot do this because it'sgonna cause division and it's
only a distraction to keep youguys from growing closer
together.
And so you have to be open withthis without shame or without
fear that something is gonnaboil over.
And if you have fear, like thisis it, the thing that the secret
that I'm holding is gonna wreckus, is gonna totally just
(29:12):
destroy this marriage.
They're gonna divorce me,they're gonna do all these
things, then you better praybefore you share.
SPEAKER_00 (29:19):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (29:19):
You better invite Holy Spirit into that
conversation before you sharebecause you don't know that
person's heart.
You're only projecting your ownfears, you're only projecting
your own insecurity.
So please let that person have achance to react and respond
because love is very powerful,and you have no idea what love
can do and how love can heal ifyou allow love a chance to enter
(29:43):
into that situation.
SPEAKER_02 (29:44):
Let love, yep.
You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04 (29:47):
So that's right, those are for the big ones.
SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
For the small ones, they're all big ones for the
small ones because even thesmall little surprise grew up
into a big one.
It's her dead.
They're all big ones.
SPEAKER_04 (29:56):
For the non detrimental thing.
The small surprises, the littleinstances, the things that
hasn't had time and space togrow and evolve into a really
big thing.
Okay.
Just be open and honest.
And I think that comes from theperson who has the secret.
You have to take initiative tostart that communication.
(30:19):
Don't sit there and play dumband wait for the other partner
to be like, what's going on?
Because by then it's too late.
By then they're already formingthoughts in their head that
something is off and that you'reacting weird.
And why haven't they saidsomething yet?
They're waiting for you to takeaction.
So you start with that.
SPEAKER_02 (30:40):
Lead with that.
SPEAKER_04 (30:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (30:43):
Wow.
So the temptation to keepsecrets.
I think we covered a lot ofthat.
SPEAKER_05 (30:49):
We did.
SPEAKER_02 (30:49):
That's that's a lot to talk about.
SPEAKER_05 (30:51):
It is a lot.
SPEAKER_02 (30:52):
The best part is that we created for the playbook
a new play in there to battletemptation and to defeat
temptation.
Yes.
And I know that there arequestions in there to help you
discover these hidden secretsand to reveal it so that you can
communicate together about thisand grow together.
Follow the link in thedescription to get your
playbook.
Use that.
It's not there for waste, it'snot there for just take up space
(31:15):
in your memory card.
Like it's real.
SPEAKER_04 (31:17):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And I think there's no betterway uh to end this episode, you
know, and we hope that if youare struggling with a secret
that you have, I'm sure that itis doing something inside of
you.
And truth and honesty and lovewill set it free.
SPEAKER_01 (31:35):
That's right.
SPEAKER_04 (31:36):
So we just pray and encourage that this episode
nudged you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:39):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (31:40):
We don't want to be condemning, but we pray that it
nudged you to pray about it andto really follow up with your
spouse about it or your partnerso that you can establish
freedom in your relationship.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (31:53):
Love by faith, y'all.
SPEAKER_04 (31:56):
Love by faith, y'all.
Kyle, will you please pray usout?
SPEAKER_02 (31:59):
Lord, we're grateful that you've given us this space
to talk and share and toencourage couples how to love
better, how to live better.
We give you the glory for all ofit, Lord.
unknown (32:10):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (32:10):
We want to just be used by you.
We want to be your vessels, yourconduit for the Holy Spirit to
speak to people, Lord.
We pray for those couples whoneed to have hard talks and that
they would be able to have thatwith courage and work together
and that love would conquer itall.
We give you the glory in Jesus'name.
Amen.
SPEAKER_04 (32:30):
Amen.
Thank you guys so much fortuning in to Love by Faith.
If this is something that youare watching on YouTube, please
like, share, subscribe.
If you are listening to it, weappreciate you.
We ask that if this is somethingthat resonated with you, to
please tap those five stars,give us a great review so that
other couples like you can findus and learn how to love by
(32:50):
faith as well.
SPEAKER_02 (32:51):
Yes.
We're in the middle of our Loveby Faith crowdfunding campaign.
Yes.
So if you've been blessed bythis podcast and you feel led to
give, there's a link in thedescription.
We appreciate you, we love you,and we want to just keep
providing this podcast and toprovide more resources and grow
and get bigger things for morelove by faith for all of you.
(33:12):
Thanks for joining us today.
We'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_05 (33:15):
Bye.
SPEAKER_02 (33:16):
Love by faith, y'all.
I have really good news.
SPEAKER_05 (33:25):
What?
SPEAKER_02 (33:26):
I don't have to go.
SPEAKER_05 (33:27):
Yay.
SPEAKER_02 (33:28):
We're doing great.
SPEAKER_05 (33:29):
Yay.
SPEAKER_02 (33:30):
We're getting in our rhythm.
The season three thing is reallylike it's really good.
We've uh we learned from ourmistakes in season one and two.
SPEAKER_04 (33:37):
Absolutely.
We're doing good.
SPEAKER_02 (33:39):
No, I can just sit here.
SPEAKER_04 (33:40):
No, no, we got things to do.
We got we now I well, let's gohit the honeydew list before you
uh before you leave.
SPEAKER_02 (33:50):
I guess I do gotta go.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (33:52):
I've been waiting.
I've just been piling all thethings on the list for every
time you left.
And I'm like, finally, he cancome and fix this hole in the
wall.
SPEAKER_02 (34:01):
Or there's no holes in our wall.
SPEAKER_04 (34:03):
Hang up this this thing on the wall.
SPEAKER_02 (34:05):
That I want to do for sure.
SPEAKER_04 (34:07):
Fix this appliance, do something, mow this grass, do
do all the things.
I love you, honey.
SPEAKER_02 (34:16):
Love you too, what?
SPEAKER_04 (34:20):
Yeah, that was good.
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