January 17, 2025 • 53 mins
Finding the right elder care for your loved ones shouldn't be a stressful challenge. But for most of us it is. Elder care is EXPENSIVE! Yet, families everywhere grapple with the lack of reliable information.
Imagine if booking elder care were as easy as booking a hotel. In this episode of Love Conquers Alz, we sit down with Daniel Clarke, the visionary founder of Elderado— which is not a Cadillac or a song by ELO, but rather the perfect name for a groundbreaking web platform designed to help families compare over 1,400 long-term care and retirement homes across Ontario. Daniel shares the story behind Elderado, his mission to bring transparency to the long-term care industry, and his ambitious plans to expand the platform to the United States and the world.
Don and I, along with guest Daniel, discuss the essential role of transparency and compassion in finding suitable elder care. We explore the importance of reliable resources and personal experiences when navigating these complex decisions, highlighting the positive aspects of elder care while addressing systemic issues families face.
Whether you’re searching for the right care home or advocating for change, this conversation is a must-listen!
Learn More about Elderado
Connect With Daniel Clarke
Be a ROAR-ior!! JOIN THE R.O.A.R. MOVEMENT for quality long term care! Visit the No Country For Old People Website for more information.
YOU CAN ALSO SUPPORT THE ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL PROMOTION OF OUR DOCUMENTARY "NO COUNTRY FOR OLD PEOPLE" BY MAKING A TAX DEDUCTIBLE DONATION THROUGH THE NATIONAL CONSUMER VOICE HERE
Follow us on Twitter, FB, IG, & TiK Tok 💜
Listen on your favorite platform 💜
If you like what you hear leave us some love. 💜
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Don Priess (00:00):
When the world has got you down, Alzheimer's sucks.
It's an equal opportunitydisease that chips away at
everything we hold dear and todate, there's no cure. So until
there is, we continue to fightwith the most powerful tool in
our arsenal, love. This is loveconquers all, a real and really
(00:22):
positive podcast that takes adeep dive into everything,
Alzheimer's, The Good, The Badand everything in between. And
now here are your hosts, Susiesinger Carter and me. Don
Priess,
Susie Singer Carter (00:39):
hello, everybody. I'm Susie singer,
Carter, and welcome to loveconquers all. The podcast all
about Alzheimer's caregivers andLong Term Care elder advocate,
advocacy. And today I feel veryI feel very vulnerable and naked
because I don't have mysidekick, Don here with me
today. He's he's recovering fromback injury, and he's laid up.
(01:04):
So I'm, I'm, I am taking it ontoday by myself, and hopefully
this will be, it'll be good, butI think it'll be great, because
we have a great guest, and sothat'll help. So I hope
everybody, I want to thankeverybody for listening to us,
and it's been, it's, it's reallygreat because I see the numbers
are going up, and I'm, I'm just,we're just super excited and
(01:27):
feel very validated that so manyof you are consistently
listening and sharing ourconversations, which I think are
getting I thought they weregreat. I think they're getting
even better and better. Soreally happy that you're here
with us. We know there's a lotof podcasts out there, but we
really endeavored to bring youthe best information and the
(01:48):
most valid information that wecan and have a lot of fun while
we're at it. So without furtherado, I have a question. I want
to say to you this. I want tosay, why when we're looking for
the perfect hotel with the bestamenities with, you know, the
great views everything anywherein the world, there's like so
(02:09):
many sites you can go to rightthat you can rely on to get a
great place. You can go tobooking.com you can go to
Trivago, Expedia. So why is itso freaking difficult to find a
reliable database withinformation about elder care
homes, one that uses filters tohelp families do the same with
(02:31):
elder care. That's, you know,that's, that's a big issue,
right? So, I mean, you might bethinking, because I get pushed
back all the time, Susie, thereare sites that do that, they're
all over the place, and I amaware of that there are a lot of
places that say they do do that.
But the point is, is, how welldo they do that? I know they're
out there, but how reliable?
(02:54):
How? How are they reliablypresenting what is available?
And that's that's somethingthat's very hard to vet until
you're in it, right? So, andwhen you're in it, you're
usually in some sort of stresssituation. You're not, you
hadn't planned for it, and nowyou're, you're scrambling to
find a place for someone thatyou love very much, and that
(03:17):
that becomes very, verydifficult, you know? And how do
you know that the rating thatthey're giving this place is
authentic, right? You don't, youhave to, you have to trust. So
how do you do that? How do youtrust? How do you trust these
sites? What gives you, whatgives you that that sense of of
(03:38):
peace? Because that is a senseof peace when you can find some
place that you feel good aboutputting someone that you love
very much in for a very longtime, if not the rest of their
life, that's, that's, that's amajor issue. It was a major
issue for me. I must I spent somuch time shopping, going from
(03:58):
place to place to place, to lookfor a place when my mom finally
had to move into assistedliving. And it, it is daunting,
it's depressing, it's hard, andif you don't have a, you know, a
pretty big tribe with you, it'seven harder. So so today's
guest, Daniel Clark is thefounder of El Dorado, which is a
(04:21):
portal online site which is anelder care navigational tool
that provides the highestquality and most transparent
information about every eldercare home in Canada. And if I
said that wrong, he's going tocorrect me. But, but, and I say,
and let me just preface this bysaying, Why am I talking to
(04:41):
somebody in Canada? Because thisyoung, incredible human being is
not just he's his plans are tobring this kind of form, this
kind of, you know, businessmodel, to everywhere in the
world. And I think it's soimportant. And he's and it takes
somebody like this guy with somuch. Passion and so much
empathy and and and andbrilliance to do something like
(05:06):
this. And I think it's importantthat we talk to him and hear him
out and hear why he wasmotivated and moved to create El
Dorado. And it was all, it allcame from a personal experience,
which is why all of us who arein advocacy. Or, you know, we
are, we become, you know,caregiver support, or we launch
(05:28):
a site like El dorados, becausewe've gone through it ourselves.
And Daniel went through it withhis grandma, Marnie Ellis, who
was hospitalized with lupus, andit was super stressful time for
his family, and they were toldthat they needed to find long
term care, so they were at aloss, and I'm going to let them
(05:49):
tell you the rest of the story,because I'm going to invite them
in. Hello, Daniel, so happy tohave you here. Daniel,
Daniel Clarke (05:55):
hi, Susie, Thanks for Thanks for having me. So one
correction I'll make is thatright now we're not across
Canada. We're just in Ontario.
We have ambitions of beingacross Canada. But, yeah, we,
but yeah, so, so that's kind ofthe start of the start of my
story. So yeah, when I wasn'tinvolved in in elder care or
health care, in in any way, butI was really close with my
(06:20):
grandparents, and on my on mymom's side, where, as you
alluded to, my grandma wasdiagnosed with lupus, and
especially my mom, my aunt, mygrandpa, they'd already been
doing some research before mygrandma reached the point where
she was hospitalized. But youknow, when you're when you're in
it, you think that you're wellprepared, and then when the time
(06:41):
comes, you realize, you know howmuch you still have to learn, or
you know how difficult thesesituations can be to navigate.
So, yeah, my my grandma was washospitalized. It was then in the
hospital where they let us knowit's not the right place for
her, and she had some home careand that, you know, it can be
relatively inconsistent. So mygrandma needed to move into
(07:02):
either long term care orassisted living, which
basically, up here in Canada,long term care is government
subsidized, whereas assistedliving is completely private,
and they match you with a socialworker, or could be a care
coordinator, or they go by somedifferent titles, but
essentially their role is tohelp you navigate this process.
The issue is that that personthat they match you with, so
(07:24):
let's call it the social workerthat they match you with, their
hands are largely are tiedbecause they can give you a list
of the long term care homes, butthey're not actually allowed to
recommend or provide suggestionsof any of the long term care
homes, because they're allgovernment subsidized. They're
all basically considered thesame in the government size,
even though there's, you know,vast differences but between
(07:46):
them. So you just get this listof long term care homes. And
then for retirement homes orassisted living, they, because
it's all private, they theydon't really provide any any
suggestions. So they had at thehospital, they had information
about one local retirement home,but then it was largely left on
the family to to navigate whatyour options are. So you're
(08:07):
already in a really stressfulsituation. You know you want to
spend time with your loved one,but now you're having to run
around to all these differenthomes even it's difficult to
even know the list of homes thatthat that exist, and then from
there, trying to figure outwhich ones are going to be the
best fit. You know, who has thecare services you need, what's
it going to cost? It was just areally, really stressful, really
(08:31):
overwhelming situation. Andsomething that's made matters
worse, where I am in Ontario, isthey introduced something called
the more beds Better Care Act.
So now we are typically in inCanada, you don pay for your
time in the hospital, butthey'll start charging you for
the bed if you require some formof senior care. After, after
(08:55):
three days, you start paying$400 a day, which you know for
for most people in Canada, youcome and go from the hospital
without ever getting a bill. Sothat's something that's become
an even bigger shock to thesystem that my family didn't
have to deal with, but nowfamilies have to deal with. So
you're under this, this timecrunch in order to in order to
navigate your options. And it'sjust a really difficult, murky
(09:17):
system to try and navigate liketerms are different. Terms are
used to describe the same thing,even the if you're going down
the route of long term care,just since I've been involved in
the space, the names changedthree times. So you know it just
a couple of months ago. It's nowcalled Ontario Health at home
(09:39):
that you deal with. Most peoplestill know it as Home and
Community Care support services,but the language is changing all
the time, and it's just notsomething that we think about
day to day. You know, not a lotof us think about like, oh,
what? What are our options goingto be for a long term care or
retirement home? So a lot of uswait until until we need. It and
(10:01):
that that creates a lot ofchallenges, and unfortunately,
it can lead to sub optimaloutcomes for for the family and
the care service or the carehome that you ultimately go
with. I
Susie Singer Carter (10:14):
think thank you for sharing that. I think
it's really important to hearabout what other you know,
countries are doing and othersystems are doing, because we're
all so very close. Like, yes,we're the same. It's like, you
know, Medicare and Medicaidtakes care of long term care,
whereas, well, Medicaid reallytakes care of the living part of
(10:35):
it. And then assisted living isnot covered at all, you know. So
it's not subsidized by thegovernment at all, and it's
private pay. So it's verysimilar and and at the moment,
like we're looking for the thepanacea, like, what is the right
way to to do this system? Andit's, I think it's super
important to hear how whereother systems succeed and where
(10:59):
they fail as well, because, youknow that can that can that can,
you know, stop us from wastingtime in a certain area. Because,
you know, a lot of a lot of alot of solutions become
performative, because they justwant people to think we're doing
something. And now the publicwant, the public won't be
(11:21):
annoying us, right? But wecan't. We can't be satisfied
with what they're just doingsomething. We have to know that
what they're doing is actuallyhelping right.
Daniel Clarke (11:31):
100% you're, you're, you're completely right.
And you know, there, there's somany, there's so many challenges
up here, for example, we've gotin Ontario about 70,000 long
term care beds, and there's over40,000 people on the wait list.
So, you know, there's, there'speople who and the wait list is
always, it's, it's, it's triage.
So it's, it's kind of needsbased, so the higher your needs
(11:52):
that higher up yours. So there'sa lot of people who really need
to be in long term care, butbecause there's people who need
to be in, more critically, thatthey can't get in for years, and
that creates all sorts ofchallenges. And then, you know,
up here, we have this bigdisparity between Long Term
Care, which is governmentsubsidized. So for example, in a
long term care home in Ontario,for a private room, it's about
(12:14):
$2,900 and for a basic room,it's it's just over $2,000 but
so that that's subsidized. Butthen if you're looking at
retirement homes, and especiallyif you need assisted living,
which is, you know, if you havehigher care needs, that's
completely unsubsidized. So thenthe price discrepancy is huge,
like, there's, you know, allsorts of people in assisted
(12:38):
living who might be payingseven, 810, plus $1,000 I've
spoken to families that arespending over $20,000 a month,
and you know, for one, you know,who's got that kind of money,
and, and, and, and also where,you know, there's just this gap
in gap in support. And there isa big push going on up here by
(12:59):
the Ontario Retirement CommunityAssociation and some of their
allies to make it that thatretirement homes, you can get a
tax credit. It's done in acouple other provinces, and it's
worked quite successfully,especially in Quebec and in in
Canada. But, but yeah, I mean,there's a lot that needs to,
needs to be done. There's notenough beds, there's not enough
(13:21):
staff, and it's, it's somethingthat really needs to become a
bigger focal point, because noneof these changes happen quickly,
like having the governmentpromised that by 2028 in
Ontario, we're going to have30,000 new long term care beds.
We're not even close. And in allhonesty, we might be net down
(13:42):
from where we were from, fromwhen that announcement was made,
because there's been a number ofhomes that have closed and, and
you know, if you know these,these changes take a lot of
time, and we've all seen thedemographics. We know the number
of of baby boomers that are,that are coming and and we need
these changes to like, we needmore action taken sooner rather
(14:05):
than later.
Susie Singer Carter (14:07):
So true, like, we're having, one of my
colleagues, who's a filmmaker aswell, is doing a short film. I'm
gonna go see about what, youknow, a horrible name, but it's
called, you know, it's aboutgranny dumping is what they call
it, because these are for peoplethat don't have a family or or
support in any way, you know,not even, not even, you know, a
(14:31):
signed Guardian, and they'rejust dropped off after a
hospital stay on the street, youknow, with just to, I don't you
know it's just, it's, it's, wetreat our dogs better, we treat
our pets better, right? And inCanada, I'm sure it's the same
in terms of of the attentionthat this demographic gets
(14:55):
because of ageism and ableism.
Is that, do you find that a bit.
Issue, yeah,
Daniel Clarke (15:01):
well, and, and, I don't know that it's always even
intentional, like, I think someof the issue is that when, when
people are in this space, youknow, it's they do so much work,
like helping take care of theirlove, and so even if you're in,
you know, the most amazingassisted living facility,
there's still, you know, thatthere's a lot of stress
involved. There's a lot ofadvocating that that goes on.
(15:23):
And I think that when you're init, it's hard to advocate for
the system as a whole, becauseyou're so busy advocating for
your loved one. And then I thinkthat by the time you know when,
when your loved one passes, thatyou're just so done with the
system. You're so tired, you'reso frustrated that you just want
to get as far away from it aspossible. And I think that's a
(15:46):
big reason why there hasn't beenthe innovation in the space as
there has been in some of theareas. Like, in a lot of ways,
it it's, you know, elder care isa lot more old fashioned than
than a number of the othersystems. You know, just the fact
that El Dorado is the firstwebsite in Ontario that even
lists all the long term care andretirement homes together.
(16:07):
Before that, that that didn'teven exist, you had to go to all
these different sites even knowwhat what your options were. And
I think it's just because, yeah,it's just because people get so,
so frustrated when, when they'rein it, that they, yeah, they
just want to get as far away aspossible, and then, and then,
what, when you're in it is whenpeople really open their eyes up
(16:27):
to, like, just how difficult ofa situation it is. Because, I
think that for the most part, asa society, we just try and
avoid, you know, kind ofthinking about, like, getting
older. And because with gettingolder, we start thinking about
dying and loss and things likethat that no one likes thinking
about. So so, like, ageism cancertainly be an element of it,
(16:48):
but I think that there's a lotof good people that just want
to, like, yeah, they just wantto be as far away from it, like,
when, when they don't have to beas possible. I
Susie Singer Carter (16:59):
agree.
People ask me all the time, why?
How did you decide to do NoCountry for Old people? Because
Didn't you just want to justclose the door and go back to
your life, right? But I thinkthat, you know, I for me. I
couldn't not share what Ilearned, because I would feel I
(17:19):
don't think I for me, that'sjust me, and maybe it's because
I'm a filmmaker, and I thought Ican do something about this. You
know, that's that's my, that'smy, that's my sandbox, and let
me try to at least share whatI've learned and and hopefully
it will, it will do some good. Ii do think it will. I think
(17:41):
people like you, you're 35right? Yeah, yeah. And I think
that's so great, because it'speople like you and your
generation that, if you'relooking at it, that other people
will and you'll make it, make itjust natural. It's the same way
we look at, you know, care forchildren. It's natural. It's
what we do, and it's the cycleof life, and what you're doing
(18:01):
is just so powerful to you know,to have a voice in it, in your
generation, it's reallymeaningful, and I really applaud
you for it. That's when I firstmet you. I was like, I love you
so much. I love what you'redoing. It's just incredible.
Thank you. Thank
Unknown (18:18):
you. I appreciate that.
And you know, I, you sharedyour, your sizzle reel with me
for no country, for old people.
And, you know, it's, it's such apowerful, it's such a powerful
watch. And I look forward toseeing the, seeing the whole
film, when, when, when it'sreleased. And, and I think
that's part of it too, is istelling, is telling more
(18:40):
stories, and and, you know what?
The stories like you have toshare are very important, but
then also something that we'retrying to do with with El
Dorado. And part of the reasonwhy we chose the name El Dorado
is, you know, because el doradosthat you know the Mayan city of
gold and prosperity, and
Susie Singer Carter (19:00):
because you love super tramp.
Unknown (19:04):
So, you know, we do also want to share some of the
like, more positive stories. SoI volunteer. I volunteer in a
long term care home. And youknow, there's in the news, all
you hear is, is negative storiesof of you know, neglect of
abuse, of a lack of funding,short staff, all these negative
(19:24):
things. And don't get me wrong,there's a lot that needs to be
improved about long term care,but at the same time, there's
people who are living their bestlives in in there, you know,
making the most of it and and,you know, we want to be able to
share some of those stories too,not to diminish that. You know,
there's not things that need tobe improved there, there are.
But I think when everything'snegative, then you know who, who
(19:47):
wants to go into a long termcare home? And you know your
entire perspective, all you'veheard is, is these, these, these
horror stories. And we also wantto be able to share more of the
the. Positive stories, and, youknow, try and, you know, kind of
nudge things back in, back inthe right direction. Because as
(20:08):
much as there's a lot of reasonto be critical, we yeah, we want
to provide some balance to theconversation that, you know,
it's, it's not death's waitingroom. There are people in there
who are, who are, you know,making the most out of, out of
what they have, and I get to seeit when I like, I love
volunteering in in the long termcare home, because, you know,
some of the people you get, youget to meet and, yeah, you, you
(20:30):
know, sometimes things are goingon there that I I don't love,
but at the same time, you justtry and take the positivity and,
you know, kind of make the mostof it.
Susie Singer Carter (20:40):
I so agree with you. I agree with that 100%
because I think it's importantto for people to understand
that, that there are peopleliving their best life and
enjoying their life there, andthat we need to support that,
right? So it's not like, it's,it's like, like you said, like,
it's like, we're throwing themin the dungeon and locking the
door and walking away. No,there's people. I mean, when I
(21:03):
would go to visit my mom, youknow, I there, I always tell the
story about the cool group, whoare all in their 90s, who didn't
have dementia for the most part,but they were the cool kids,
right? And every time I come andsing with my mom or whatever,
they'd always go Susie singing,come on over. You know, they
come. They'd all hang out.
They'd go to dinner together.
They're just, they were the coolgroup, and they were enjoying
(21:24):
their life. And I enjoyed themso much. And, you know, and,
and, and I think that that'simportant to understand, that
there is good life going on, andthat, you know, a year to
someone in their 90s is is waylonger than a year in someone in
their 30s, right? Becausethat's, yeah, it's more
(21:46):
meaningful,
Unknown (21:48):
absolutely. And people like that. They, you know, they
brighten up a resident so muchlike you can. I've been into a
lot of long term care andretirement homes in Ontario, and
you know, as much as the staffcan make a big difference, the
actual facility can make a bigdifference. The biggest thing
that I find is, you know, it's,it's the residents, and it's,
(22:10):
you know, if there's residentsin there who are, you know,
welcoming, getting peopleinvolved and things like that,
then, then, naturally, thosehomes just feel home here, like
it feels like it's their home,as opposed to, you know, where
hospitals have kind of thatsterile feel to them, and, and
sometimes the long term care,yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and, you
(22:31):
know, plenty of long term carehomes feel like an institution.
But then there's also homes thatyou go into where you see that
there's a lot of residents thatjust, they bring a really upbeat
vibe and and, you know, not thatit should be up to the residents
to have to kind of create thatenvironment, but when they're
when that environment is, isthere? Then, then, you know, it
(22:52):
it the people, they the staff,prefer it. The other residents
prefer, you know, it's just,it's just a better environment.
So, exactly. So that's somethingthat we want to do with El
Dorado, is share more of sharemore of those stories. Because
there's, you know, we certainlywant to, you know, Shine
spotlights on areas where thingsneed to be improved. But at the
same time, you know, because wetry and educate people on on the
(23:15):
entire system and and, yeah, wealso want to share the more
positive side. And then it alsobreaks down some of the fear
that a lot of older adults haveon on going into long term care
or retirement home. Because, youknow, certainly if, if I just
read the paper, and that was myperspective on long term care,
there's not a chance I'd wantto, I'd want to go there
because, yeah, because you neverread in the paper is anything,
(23:41):
even neutral, everything is areally negative stories,
Susie Singer Carter (23:46):
right? But see, and for me, that comes down
to ageism, because people don'treally want to hear about older
people. So I think if we canforce, you know, that's what I
think that's when I talk aboutageism. I think it's that, it's
that the public doesn't reallywant to acknowledge it because
of their own fears, right? Andso, but, and I think when you
when you get to see these kindsof stories that are very
(24:08):
inspiring, then it becomes, it,it's, it's a positive and so it
becomes attractive. It becomes,you know, compelling, and that's
what we need. More more of youknow, and unless less kind of
stereotypical stories, but, youknow, really just an
inspirational, aspirational, youknow, we should be able to be,
(24:31):
to aspire, to be able to havethat kind of life in our third
chapter, yeah. And, and I thinkthat's important, you know,
because we all get there, hope,God willing, and so, you know, I
hope that I'm aspiration. I hopeI when I'm 90, I'm still doing
hip hop, you know. And I'mdoing, I'm doing the what, you
know. I'm enjoying my life, youknow. And I think, I think
(24:56):
that's what we're here for. Weall are on borrowed time. It
doesn't matter how old. We areso we don't know what we don't
know. So we have to make thebest of it. Absolutely
Unknown (25:06):
my my grandpa is 97 years old. He still lives at
home on his own. I a couple ofweeks I was golfing with him,
and his big thing, he's I reallylook up to my grandpa. I think
he's one of the, you know, mostadmirable people I've I know, or
I've ever met, and his wholething is he just, he doesn't
(25:29):
stop. So, you know, he goes tothe gym every day. He's working
on learning French. He, youknow, he exercises, he gets out
and and, you know, he tries tostay physically stimulated,
mentally stimulated and, and sothat's very much something that
I try and keep in mind, is like,you know, like, keep going.
(25:51):
Like, don't, don't stop. And,like, I said, he's, he's, yeah,
he's, he's getting up there inyears. But you would never, you
would never guess it.
Susie Singer Carter (26:01):
I love it.
I love it so much. Yeah, I justmy friend, one of my colleagues.
Dad is 90. No, he just turned100 What am I talking about? It
went to his 100th birthday at anassisted living, and he's a
writer, and he still writes, andhe's writing a new play. He's so
incredible. We had the bestbirthday party at at the
assisted living and he was like,you know, one of, one of the
(26:23):
actresses that's in my otherfilm, my mom and the girl who
lives there as well, Liz Torresand and they, we introduced them
at because I didn't know thatthey that she was living there
and he was living there anyway,after we all spent like, about
three hours together, he walkedby her With this candy goes,
I'll see you later.
Unknown (26:44):
Well, and I love that.
And, you know, it's, it's such ait's such a gift to get to grow
old and, and, yeah, that Iabsolutely love that. That's, I
love that story. We'll
Peter Eun (26:57):
be right back. I'm Peter. Owner of Peter sand
photography, and I want to talkto you about something
important, preserving memories.
Time moves quickly, and beforewe know it, those we love may no
longer be with us. For the lastfew years, I've taken
complimentary, professionalheadshots of seniors in a local
retirement home, helpingfamilies capture the essence and
personality of their loved onesthrough beautiful photos, I've
(27:20):
seen firsthand how meaningfulthese images can be. When I
photograph my own parents, Irealize how powerful it is to
have these lasting memories,photos that capture smiles,
stories and the unique spirit ofthe people we care about most.
If your parents or loved onesare still with you, don't wait.
These images can bring comfortand joy for years to come,
whether it's for rememberingsilly moments or honoring family
(27:42):
history, my message is simple,get photos of your loved ones
while you can hire a localphotographer, use your camera,
cell phone, whatever it takes.
Just do it now. For moreinformation, visit Peters fan
photography.com.
Susie Singer Carter (27:58):
I have a couple questions for you, so
these are the harder questions.
So you know when, when peopleI've since learned from doing
this documentary about, how doyou check on the ratings for
long term care in particular?
And there's on on our CMS, whichis the Center for Medicare and
(28:18):
Medicaid, they'll have, theyhave a compare, right? So you
can go on there and there'sratings and but the issue is
that they're self reported,right? And the issue is, is that
our rating system, these fivestar system, doesn't really
reflect the truth, becausethere's ways to manipulate the
(28:39):
system. So what are you? How areyou getting, I'm sure that
happens in Ontario. How do you,how do you work around that? And
what do you think would be agood solution for all of us to
to get those kinds of trueratings and make the standard,
you know, well, a you know,well, it is achievable that they
(29:01):
have to meet required, you know,compensatory, they have to do
it, whereas now there's ways togame the system. Yeah,
Unknown (29:09):
so, so that's a that's a great question. So one of the
things that we don't do is wedon't actually rate any of the
home so we collect informationto help people make the most
informed choice for forthemselves. And part of the
reason why we did that is when Istarted El Dorado, first thing I
did was I interviewed 80families that had placed a loved
(29:31):
one in long term care retirementhome in the previous year to
learn know about their process.
Who was involved in thedecision. You know how long it
took them, and then also howtheir expectations have have
been met or not in in reality.
And one of the things that Ilearned from that is that there
was instances where I heard fromdifferent families where they
(29:53):
had a loved one in the samehome, and vastly different
opinions of of that home. So oneof the things that was clear to
me early on is that, you know,someone's care needs, their
circumstances, even theirability to make friends within a
home is going to vastly, isgoing to drastically impact, you
(30:16):
know, their their opinion of it.
So instead, what we try and dois pull as much useful
information and try and makethis the decision making process
as transparent as possible. Sowe do include in a listing. You
know, you can see the Googlereviews. You can see how it's
rated on Google. Also for longterm care homes, they report to
the Canadian Institute forHealth Information, things like
(30:40):
the percentage of residents whofell, the percentage of
residents who have pressuresores, and things like that. So
that information hashistorically been somewhat
difficult to access, so we putit all on the site. It's color
coded, so that you see not justhow they're doing, but how
(31:01):
they're doing versus all theother all the other homes. But
yeah, ultimately, we don't, wedon't assign a score to homes.
We give you all the informationso that then you can assess, you
know, this place is most likelyto be the best fit. And then we
still do recommend that peopletour homes in person. So really,
what we want El Dorado to do ishelp you narrow down from,
(31:24):
there's 1400 elder care homes inOntario, narrow it down to the,
you know, maybe three, they'regonna be the best fit, and then
two of those three in in person.
But yeah, ultimately, we don't,we don't actually provide we, or
at least at our current stage,we don't, we don't provide a
rating. We just give you the thefilters and the information you
(31:46):
know. You can access theinspection reports through El
Dorado, and you know, thelanguages of care that are
available, the culturaldesignation. You can watch a
video tour, see sample menus,activity calendars, amazing
thing, yeah, things like that,that that we provide to you, as
opposed to saying, hey, thishome is a four and a half out of
five. This one's a three out offive, just because different
(32:09):
different families, sure, ordid, or different older adults,
they'll, they'll have differentopinions of various homes.
Susie Singer Carter (32:19):
So that's, that's excellent. So what? So
let's say, once they go to ElDorado, when you're going into
to tour, your top three what,what do you think is the best
way to do that? What would, whatwould you recommend on a tour?
What would you look at? Youknow, I'll just give you
something real quickly. I justsay like one of, one of the
people that we interview, one ofour experts for the documentary
(32:42):
said, you know, if, if he wasgoing to tour a place like
oftentimes, you know, you'll goin as a family, and you'll go in
and see a really beautifullobby, and you'll go, oh, it's
gorgeous. Oh, look at the diningroom. It's beautiful. Okay,
done. And, and he, you know, oneof his things that he said was
like, I would go in and I'd say,can I just walk through the
(33:04):
halls? Can I look at, can I talkto some of your residents?
Right? And because if I saw thatthere was residents sitting
there, and there was nobodyaround, and I couldn't find see
any, like, you know, CNAs oranything, then I'm going to
start wondering, is it just, amI just buying the lobby?
Unknown (33:20):
Mm, hmm, yeah. No, that that's, that's a great point. So
there's a few things that someof them are things that I picked
on. Some of them are like kindof recommendations that that
have been given to me, given tome over time. So, so yeah, a few
things. First is, becausetypically, in the lobby, a lot,
(33:41):
I find a lot of retirementhomes, which for retirement
homes in Ontario, though, thosearen't government subsidized, so
they're typically a little moreexpensive, but they're also
nicer. So a lot of times they'llset up some sort of, like social
area also in the lobby to tryand, like, kind of bring some
life into it. So, you know, arethere people that are that, are
(34:05):
there, or wherever has beendesignated as a kind of a non
meal time, kind of gatheringplace? Are there people there?
Are they engaging with eachother that can be a good sign?
Also, when the staff are, youknow, walking by residents are
do they do they know them byname, which is awesome if they
(34:25):
do, even if they don't know themby name. Are they kind of
acknowledging? Are theyacknowledging the residents,
when you're away from the lobby,say you got to go to the
bathroom and try and go to thebathroom, not because it's
really easy to make thebathrooms right at the front
where most people would go,really clean. But you know,
what's the cleanliness likeelsewhere in elsewhere in the
(34:50):
home? And you know, if you havea chance to chat with any of the
residents, that's that's notalways going to be something
that's possible. But you know,just chatting to them and not to
because. Know, they're probablynot going to say, like, hey,
like, Don't come here. But, youknow, asking them about, you
know, are there, are thereactivities that they that they
really don't enjoy? Or, youknow, should there be, like,
certain things on the calendarthey keep an eye out for?
(35:13):
Because, you know, if they cancall out things that are coming
up in the calendar, then, thenthat probably means that it's a
home that, you know, is kind ofmore engaged and have better
activities. And then, you know,something that I'm a little more
particular about is littledetails. So a lot of homes will
post things like menus around oractivity calendars. Are they
(35:35):
act? Are they current? Becauseif, if those sort of things
aren't current, it's a smalldetail. But, you know, making
sure that you get those sort ofthings right. And then the last
thing I'd say is, typically, atleast for retirement homes in
Ontario, they'll offer that, youknow, you can have lunch for
free, or something like that, ifyou're if you're going on a
tour, and, you know, takeadvantage of that and try and
(35:58):
schedule it. So it's a time whenthe when all the residents are
eating as well, and then you canhave a look around. And you
know, what's, what's it like inthe in the dining room? Are
people engaged with each other?
Are Are they not? Is it, youknow, is it just the kind of,
really quiet and so on? Becausemaybe that's what you're looking
(36:19):
for. And you know, maybe you dowant a retirement home that for
your personality is a little bitmore quiet, but it just gives
you, it just gives you a feelfor for what you can expect when
you know when you'd actually bea resident inside the home and
and also realizing that it'sprobably during that meeting,
during that visit, going to bethe best that it will be at any
(36:40):
point. So just just having aframe of reference that that
generally, they're, they'retrying to, you know, they're
trying to make a goodimpression. So, you know, it's
unlikely that it's going to besignificantly better than than
what you experienced that day.
Just because they, they aretrying to make a good impression
(37:01):
on
Susie Singer Carter (37:02):
you. That's such good advice. Yeah, I think
that's brilliant. Yes. Oh, andwe do that too. When they do
invite you to have lunch, whenyou go to tour, and I agree with
you, take them up on it, even ifyou're not hungry, sit there and
just see how what is the what isthe community like, right? And
then it also gives you a goodopportunity to speak to some of
(37:23):
the other residents, you know.
How you doing? What are youeating? Is that? Is it yummy? Do
you like it? I got the, youknow, it gives you a chance to
actually have a have aconversation that doesn't feel,
you know, stilted. So I thinkthat's great advice, I think.
Unknown (37:38):
And if anyone's not quite sure on how to be able to
start that conversation withsomeone at another table. Like,
something that I like doing is,you know, asking around some of
the other tables, like, oh,like, What's your favorite thing
on the menu? Like, what wouldyou suggest? And then that
usually opens up to like, oh,like, are you touring? Oh, what
for? And then you know that thatgives you an opening if, you
(37:59):
know, to have a widerconversation, if, if you're
interested, but yeah, so justask people around, you know,
what do they recommend from,from the menu? And I typically
find that there's, you know,there's a lot of people that are
quite eager and interested inengaging with you.
Susie Singer Carter (38:14):
I love it.
Yeah, that's great. That'sreally great. So I think, I
think, what do you think? Imean, I don't know. In Ontario
to if they have, do they allowanimals as they do, they have,
like, an out, you know, thosekinds of things so
Unknown (38:30):
that that so that is probably on our short list of
new features to add, becausesome homes do allow, like, small
pets. So, like, kind of dogs,cats, things like that. It's, it
really depends on, it reallydepends on, on the specific
(38:50):
home. So they, they make therules about that. But yeah,
there are some homes that thatdo allow that do allow small
pets. There's even, I was in ahome in in Oakville just a week
or two ago. And not only do theyallow small pets, but they've
got a designated, like, petwashing room, where either you
can go in or a groomer can cancome in and to kind of give your
(39:14):
dog or cat a spa day. So, soyeah, some homes do, do allow
it. You know, there's, there'ssome homes here that are
culturally designated. So thatmeans that a lot of the
residents will be from aparticular culture, and then a
lot of the food and activity aregeared towards that are geared
towards that culture. And youknow, for some people, that's
going to be, you know, a muchbetter, a much better fit for
(39:36):
them, especially, especiallywhen it comes to food like
that's something that I hear. Igrew up in a very multicultural
area, and, you know, food inelder care homes are something
that becomes a big challenge.
Because it seems like breakfastis always the biggest challenge,
because culturally, there canbe, you know, vastly different
things that people eat forbreakfast, and it's, it's hard
(39:56):
to, you know, someone who's. In,you know, in their golden years,
to suddenly try and say, youknow, you've been eating
breakfast one way for the past80 years, and now we're gonna
change that on you, right? So,yeah, being able to find a
culturally designated home,that's why it was really
important to me that on ElDorado, we have filters by
language or by culture. Becausewhen I speak to my friends, it
(40:20):
was just ridiculous that therewas no easy way for them to find
which homes either kind of spokethe language of their loved ones
or or were culturallydesignated. And I mean,
something that I'm sure you,many of your listeners, are
aware of, is that one of theearly signs of dementia and
Alzheimer's losing secondlanguages. So you know, if
someone can receive care intheir native tongue, then they
(40:43):
can repay, remain independentfor much longer, which is
typically going to lead to amuch higher quality of life. I
Susie Singer Carter (40:51):
love it that those are so and those are
little details that when you'rein a stressed out situation, you
might not think about, right?
You might not think like, ifyou're if your family member
loves animals, and like, I knowhere there's some facilities,
like the one, one of them thatmy mother was in, they just had,
like animals that were just thatbelonged to the facility, right?
So they just ran around, andthey were part of the home, they
(41:11):
were the commute, part of thecommunity. And everybody loved
them, you know? And I think thatif you are someone that is used
to that, you know, those, thoseare kind of things to look for.
You know, how open are they tothat? How, you know, how does it
match what you've, what you've,your lifestyle is, and maybe you
don't like animals, and youdon't want them running around
all over the place, right? Soyou do need to look at those
(41:33):
kinds of things, the details,little, little details that mean
a lot.
Unknown (41:38):
Yeah, you know, it's funny you say that because so
one of the reasons why you knowso the pet filter is one of our
most requested filters, and andit's because it's not only
people who want to have pets,but it's equally people who just
don't like being around pets.
And on the flip side, theyaren't interested in because
something that can be easy toget, get lost, especially with
(42:01):
all that news headlines, isthat, you know, these are
people's homes. This isn't just,you know, something like, we are
talking about people's homes.
And so, you know, you want tofeel comfortable in in your own
home, like, imagine you hateddogs, and in your home where
you're currently living, you'rerequired to have a, you know, a
(42:22):
dog is gonna live in your livingroom no matter what. Like, you
know, nobody, nobody would wantto move into that house. And,
and, and I think that'ssomething that's really
important to remember, is that,you know, the these are homes,
and we can get caught up in allthe statistics of, you know what
it is, and you know, you justsee these large numbers, and
they're overwhelming, but at theend of the day, yeah, the these
(42:43):
are, these are people who arelooking for somewhere to, you
know, live with their health,independence and dignity and
and, you know, it should beeasier for them to find which
home is going to be the best fitfor their circumstances.
Susie Singer Carter (42:59):
I just love you, Daniel, you've got it. You
get you're so smart about this,and you have such a great
perspective. You get it so well,like I didn't get it at 35 I
didn't, I didn't think about it.
My mom was such a pistol, and Ididn't think about it. My dad
died very young in a planecrash, so I didn't really have
and my grandma was everybody waskind of independent. They just
kind of went Goodbye. I'm going,you know. So I didn't really
(43:19):
have experience with that, andit's so it's so lovely that, you
know, you have such a great,compassionate, not
notwithstanding, intelligentperspective on on these, these
situation. No, it really does.
It's very, it's veryheartwarming and touching to me,
because it is their home, and wecan't forget that, you know,
(43:43):
it's their home. And, and nobodyyou know, listen, you work your
whole life, and you want to havea certain type of life, and, and
now, you know, because of thethe cycle. And now, do you have
more needs than than anyone canhandle? Okay, but let's make it
as good, as wonderful aspossible. And and remember that
(44:05):
these are individuals, and theythat these are not one size fits
all,
Unknown (44:09):
yeah, yeah. And you know exactly what, what you just
said there, where, you knowwe're talking, they've worked
there. They've worked theirwhole life. They've literally
laid the infrastructure that weenjoy. They've, they've fought
battles so that we don't have toand, and, yeah, like, I really
think that, you know, deservebetter. And I was very fortunate
(44:31):
to grow up in in a great familyunit where, you know, where kind
of always looked up to my lookedup to my grandparents, like that
was very much kind of part ofour family unit is, you know,
kind of the patriarchs of thefamily and and, you know, and
part of it is just that thestories that like that was
(44:54):
always my angle for why, whyI've always enjoyed kind of
spending time with mygrandparents. Is, you know the
stories they have they have totell and and you know things
that they can share, and youknow the perspective on, you
know what it was like when theywere younger, versus versus my
age. And even with both mygrandparents, both my grandpas
(45:16):
served in in the Navy, but wheremy grandpa, I've got one
surviving grandparent. And, youknow, I did some backpacking
through sales to south southeastAsia. And my grandpa was, you
know, on a ship going throughSoutheast Asia and being able to
share, like, what it was like inHong Kong when he was there,
versus when, when I went and,you know, some, some things like
(45:37):
that. It's just, it's priceless.
Yet, I didn't, I didn't realize,you know, it was really once I
started losing grandparents thatthat I realized, you know, just,
you know, what, what anincredible source of joy that
they can be, and you know, allthese great stories that they
have. So I do have some regretsthat I, you know, I didn't, kind
(45:57):
of start sooner, but at the atthe same time, try and enjoy as
much time as I have with with mygrandparents. And that's also
part of the reason why I lovegetting to volunteer at at a
long term care home where I Iwork in a gift shop where it's
kind of fallen it's only openwhen volunteers are there, and
most people just come into chat.
(46:19):
And you know, you hear allthese, like, great stories, or
sometimes you're just somebodyto they get to chat to and, and,
yeah, I mean, it's like, it's,it's a great time. And I'd
encourage anyone, like, ifyou're, if you're looking for
something to if you're lookingfor something to do, there's
always, like, there's greatactivities that they go on, that
they're always looking forvolunteers for. And, yeah, if
(46:40):
you have the chance to getinvolved, then, you know, don't
be shy. They'll be, they'll behappy to have you
Susie Singer Carter (46:46):
100% I always tell people, like, if you
want to feel good aboutyourself, like you'll just,
first of all, you'll have such ablast. And you'll, you will,
you'll learn so much you andyou're so appreciate. It
appreciated. And like, you know,you know it's like, the older
you get, everybody looks youngerto you. Well, you know, I would
walk in and they'd always go,Wait, that's your daughter.
(47:07):
Wait, how old? How old are you?
And I go, How old do you think Iam 22 Yes, I'm 20. How did you
guess that? Right, so if youwant to, or, like, if I'm
singing, they're like, oh mygod, she sings incredible. She's
like, Barbara story, son. I'mlike, I am really, no, they're
just so kind and lovely. And,you know, you want to feel good
about yourself. It's really,you're doing it for yourself as
well. So Don't, don't thinkyou're not
Unknown (47:31):
100% like, I tell people, you know, it's, it's a
selfish endeavor that that I am,that I'm on because, you know, I
I, I've seen what it's currentlylike and like I don't I want it
to be better for my parentsthan, you know, it was my
grandparents that I want it tobe better for me. So that's, you
know, we all have a goal ofliving a, you know, a long,
(47:54):
prosperous life, but at the sametime, most of us are going to
end up in some sort of, youknow, elder care home. So, you
know, at that, why not work tomake it the best that it can be,
so that when you get there, itis, you know, it's like
Disneyland for for, you know,for older adults, it's just like
(48:15):
the most incredible place
Susie Singer Carter (48:18):
possible.
Would you say it's like ElDorado,
I want to say this to you,what's your what's your
grandpa's name that's alive,
Unknown (48:31):
Hugh Ellis. So
Susie Singer Carter (48:33):
Hugh Ellis and Marnie is that his wife?
Yeah, they raised, they raisedan incredible grandson, thank
you. You are incredible. And Ithank them for that. I thank
them for giving you such lovelyvalues and curiosity and
compassion. So Daniel, I'm, I'mrooting, I'm counting on you to
(48:59):
keep to to, you know, keepgoing. Don't stop do what you're
doing. Bring it on. Over here inAmerica and everywhere else that
needs needs this kind of, youknow, this kind of service. And
we all do so I am, I am cheerleading you on. I know everyone
else that's listening ischeerleading you on too. And,
(49:19):
and I thank you. I can't wait tohear more about you and all the
things you're going to be doing,because I know you're going to
be doing a lot. You're veryspecial and
Unknown (49:27):
and one thing I can mention is, though, although
we're not in the United Statesright now, and it's probably
going to take some time beforeyou know we're looking at
expanding anywhere outside ofCanada, there is a similar
platform that follows a similarmodel called Purple door finders
that is kind of expanding acrossthe that's expanding across the
(49:48):
states, and, you know, follows alot of the same principles that
that that we do so, if so, ifsomebody is looking, you know,
right now, that can be aresource that that's really
helpful, because you do have tobe. Careful that there are a
number of pay to list platforms,and there are, you know, certain
platforms that are known forthey'll just recommend, because,
you know, they're being paid torecommend. And ultimately, I
(50:11):
know with my family, we, youknow, we wanted the best care
for my grandma, not the bestcare of the people who were
paying to be listed on aparticular on a particular
service and and, yeah, so that'sthat's something that, to me, is
is really important. And ofcourse, I want El Dorado to be
big and successful, but I alsowant to make sure that, you
know, all families are able to,you know, navigate this really
(50:34):
challenging time as as you knowthe best way possible. And
whether it's with El Dorado orwhether you're somewhere else
with another solution thatexists there, because families
deserve better, like they thatjust it's such a stressful time
when you know when you're havingto go through looking for elder
care, and families deservebetter resources.
Susie Singer Carter (50:55):
Amen, amen.
So thank you. I think we'll putall that on the show notes.
Everybody, they'll have the isit called Purple doors is? What
is it? Purple door finder, yeah,purple door finder. And, of
course, El Dorado, of course,Daniel Clark and and everything
else you'll and you can reachout to him, and if you want to
interview him, or have or talkto him, or just tell him how
(51:17):
great he is, you could do thatbecause he deserves it, and I
want to just tell you how much Ilove him again. And this whole
show is about love, because loveis powerful. Love is contagious,
and love conquers all. So thankyou all for following. Please
share if you like this show,stay well, take care of
yourself. Have fun and, see youand hear and talk to you next
(51:42):
time. Thanks.
Angela Fairhurst (51:53):
I'm Angela Fairhurst, founder of Jerry
gadgets, a revolutionarysolution for dementia care,
inspired by my personal journey,caring for my mother with
dementia, I develop patentedsensory tools that engage loved
ones, reduce anxiety and createjoyful moments without
medication, providing muchneeded relief for caregivers.
(52:13):
Jerry gadgets currently come inthree silicone buckets with
activities like flowerarranging, shape sorting and
tactile fidgets with more indevelopment. Each Jerry gadget
is designed to stimulate thesenses, fostering connection and
communication even at advancedstages of cognitive decline, non
toxic, built to last anddishwasher safe. Jerry gadgets
(52:35):
transform caregiving bypromoting engagement, improving
quality of life, and offeringcaregivers arrested from
constant supervision, discoverhow our innovative products can
bring joy and meaningfulinteraction to your loved ones
with dementia, while easing thecaregivers burden, visit Jerry
gadgets.com to learn more andstart making every moment count
Don Priess (52:58):
for a limited time, you can get 20% off your next
order of Jerry gadgets by goingto www, dot SSW, ww.com, Jerry
gadgets for dementia. You.
When the world has got you down, Alzheimer's sucks.
It's an equal opportunitydisease that chips away at
everything we hold dear and todate, there's no cure. So until
there is, we continue to fightwith the most powerful tool in
our arsenal, love. This is loveconquers all, a real and really
(00:22):
positive podcast that takes adeep dive into everything,
Alzheimer's, The Good, The Badand everything in between. And
now here are your hosts, Susiesinger Carter and me. Don
Priess,
Susie Singer Carter (00:39):
hello, everybody. I'm Susie singer,
Carter, and welcome to loveconquers all. The podcast all
about Alzheimer's caregivers andLong Term Care elder advocate,
advocacy. And today I feel veryI feel very vulnerable and naked
because I don't have mysidekick, Don here with me
today. He's he's recovering fromback injury, and he's laid up.
(01:04):
So I'm, I'm, I am taking it ontoday by myself, and hopefully
this will be, it'll be good, butI think it'll be great, because
we have a great guest, and sothat'll help. So I hope
everybody, I want to thankeverybody for listening to us,
and it's been, it's, it's reallygreat because I see the numbers
are going up, and I'm, I'm just,we're just super excited and
(01:27):
feel very validated that so manyof you are consistently
listening and sharing ourconversations, which I think are
getting I thought they weregreat. I think they're getting
even better and better. Soreally happy that you're here
with us. We know there's a lotof podcasts out there, but we
really endeavored to bring youthe best information and the
(01:48):
most valid information that wecan and have a lot of fun while
we're at it. So without furtherado, I have a question. I want
to say to you this. I want tosay, why when we're looking for
the perfect hotel with the bestamenities with, you know, the
great views everything anywherein the world, there's like so
(02:09):
many sites you can go to rightthat you can rely on to get a
great place. You can go tobooking.com you can go to
Trivago, Expedia. So why is itso freaking difficult to find a
reliable database withinformation about elder care
homes, one that uses filters tohelp families do the same with
(02:31):
elder care. That's, you know,that's, that's a big issue,
right? So, I mean, you might bethinking, because I get pushed
back all the time, Susie, thereare sites that do that, they're
all over the place, and I amaware of that there are a lot of
places that say they do do that.
But the point is, is, how welldo they do that? I know they're
out there, but how reliable?
(02:54):
How? How are they reliablypresenting what is available?
And that's that's somethingthat's very hard to vet until
you're in it, right? So, andwhen you're in it, you're
usually in some sort of stresssituation. You're not, you
hadn't planned for it, and nowyou're, you're scrambling to
find a place for someone thatyou love very much, and that
(03:17):
that becomes very, verydifficult, you know? And how do
you know that the rating thatthey're giving this place is
authentic, right? You don't, youhave to, you have to trust. So
how do you do that? How do youtrust? How do you trust these
sites? What gives you, whatgives you that that sense of of
(03:38):
peace? Because that is a senseof peace when you can find some
place that you feel good aboutputting someone that you love
very much in for a very longtime, if not the rest of their
life, that's, that's, that's amajor issue. It was a major
issue for me. I must I spent somuch time shopping, going from
(03:58):
place to place to place, to lookfor a place when my mom finally
had to move into assistedliving. And it, it is daunting,
it's depressing, it's hard, andif you don't have a, you know, a
pretty big tribe with you, it'seven harder. So so today's
guest, Daniel Clark is thefounder of El Dorado, which is a
(04:21):
portal online site which is anelder care navigational tool
that provides the highestquality and most transparent
information about every eldercare home in Canada. And if I
said that wrong, he's going tocorrect me. But, but, and I say,
and let me just preface this bysaying, Why am I talking to
(04:41):
somebody in Canada? Because thisyoung, incredible human being is
not just he's his plans are tobring this kind of form, this
kind of, you know, businessmodel, to everywhere in the
world. And I think it's soimportant. And he's and it takes
somebody like this guy with somuch. Passion and so much
empathy and and and andbrilliance to do something like
(05:06):
this. And I think it's importantthat we talk to him and hear him
out and hear why he wasmotivated and moved to create El
Dorado. And it was all, it allcame from a personal experience,
which is why all of us who arein advocacy. Or, you know, we
are, we become, you know,caregiver support, or we launch
(05:28):
a site like El dorados, becausewe've gone through it ourselves.
And Daniel went through it withhis grandma, Marnie Ellis, who
was hospitalized with lupus, andit was super stressful time for
his family, and they were toldthat they needed to find long
term care, so they were at aloss, and I'm going to let them
(05:49):
tell you the rest of the story,because I'm going to invite them
in. Hello, Daniel, so happy tohave you here. Daniel,
Daniel Clarke (05:55):
hi, Susie, Thanks for Thanks for having me. So one
correction I'll make is thatright now we're not across
Canada. We're just in Ontario.
We have ambitions of beingacross Canada. But, yeah, we,
but yeah, so, so that's kind ofthe start of the start of my
story. So yeah, when I wasn'tinvolved in in elder care or
health care, in in any way, butI was really close with my
(06:20):
grandparents, and on my on mymom's side, where, as you
alluded to, my grandma wasdiagnosed with lupus, and
especially my mom, my aunt, mygrandpa, they'd already been
doing some research before mygrandma reached the point where
she was hospitalized. But youknow, when you're when you're in
it, you think that you're wellprepared, and then when the time
(06:41):
comes, you realize, you know howmuch you still have to learn, or
you know how difficult thesesituations can be to navigate.
So, yeah, my my grandma was washospitalized. It was then in the
hospital where they let us knowit's not the right place for
her, and she had some home careand that, you know, it can be
relatively inconsistent. So mygrandma needed to move into
(07:02):
either long term care orassisted living, which
basically, up here in Canada,long term care is government
subsidized, whereas assistedliving is completely private,
and they match you with a socialworker, or could be a care
coordinator, or they go by somedifferent titles, but
essentially their role is tohelp you navigate this process.
The issue is that that personthat they match you with, so
(07:24):
let's call it the social workerthat they match you with, their
hands are largely are tiedbecause they can give you a list
of the long term care homes, butthey're not actually allowed to
recommend or provide suggestionsof any of the long term care
homes, because they're allgovernment subsidized. They're
all basically considered thesame in the government size,
even though there's, you know,vast differences but between
(07:46):
them. So you just get this listof long term care homes. And
then for retirement homes orassisted living, they, because
it's all private, they theydon't really provide any any
suggestions. So they had at thehospital, they had information
about one local retirement home,but then it was largely left on
the family to to navigate whatyour options are. So you're
(08:07):
already in a really stressfulsituation. You know you want to
spend time with your loved one,but now you're having to run
around to all these differenthomes even it's difficult to
even know the list of homes thatthat that exist, and then from
there, trying to figure outwhich ones are going to be the
best fit. You know, who has thecare services you need, what's
it going to cost? It was just areally, really stressful, really
(08:31):
overwhelming situation. Andsomething that's made matters
worse, where I am in Ontario, isthey introduced something called
the more beds Better Care Act.
So now we are typically in inCanada, you don pay for your
time in the hospital, butthey'll start charging you for
the bed if you require some formof senior care. After, after
(08:55):
three days, you start paying$400 a day, which you know for
for most people in Canada, youcome and go from the hospital
without ever getting a bill. Sothat's something that's become
an even bigger shock to thesystem that my family didn't
have to deal with, but nowfamilies have to deal with. So
you're under this, this timecrunch in order to in order to
navigate your options. And it'sjust a really difficult, murky
(09:17):
system to try and navigate liketerms are different. Terms are
used to describe the same thing,even the if you're going down
the route of long term care,just since I've been involved in
the space, the names changedthree times. So you know it just
a couple of months ago. It's nowcalled Ontario Health at home
(09:39):
that you deal with. Most peoplestill know it as Home and
Community Care support services,but the language is changing all
the time, and it's just notsomething that we think about
day to day. You know, not a lotof us think about like, oh,
what? What are our options goingto be for a long term care or
retirement home? So a lot of uswait until until we need. It and
(10:01):
that that creates a lot ofchallenges, and unfortunately,
it can lead to sub optimaloutcomes for for the family and
the care service or the carehome that you ultimately go
with. I
Susie Singer Carter (10:14):
think thank you for sharing that. I think
it's really important to hearabout what other you know,
countries are doing and othersystems are doing, because we're
all so very close. Like, yes,we're the same. It's like, you
know, Medicare and Medicaidtakes care of long term care,
whereas, well, Medicaid reallytakes care of the living part of
(10:35):
it. And then assisted living isnot covered at all, you know. So
it's not subsidized by thegovernment at all, and it's
private pay. So it's verysimilar and and at the moment,
like we're looking for the thepanacea, like, what is the right
way to to do this system? Andit's, I think it's super
important to hear how whereother systems succeed and where
(10:59):
they fail as well, because, youknow that can that can that can,
you know, stop us from wastingtime in a certain area. Because,
you know, a lot of a lot of alot of solutions become
performative, because they justwant people to think we're doing
something. And now the publicwant, the public won't be
(11:21):
annoying us, right? But wecan't. We can't be satisfied
with what they're just doingsomething. We have to know that
what they're doing is actuallyhelping right.
Daniel Clarke (11:31):
100% you're, you're, you're completely right.
And you know, there, there's somany, there's so many challenges
up here, for example, we've gotin Ontario about 70,000 long
term care beds, and there's over40,000 people on the wait list.
So, you know, there's, there'speople who and the wait list is
always, it's, it's, it's triage.
So it's, it's kind of needsbased, so the higher your needs
(11:52):
that higher up yours. So there'sa lot of people who really need
to be in long term care, butbecause there's people who need
to be in, more critically, thatthey can't get in for years, and
that creates all sorts ofchallenges. And then, you know,
up here, we have this bigdisparity between Long Term
Care, which is governmentsubsidized. So for example, in a
long term care home in Ontario,for a private room, it's about
(12:14):
$2,900 and for a basic room,it's it's just over $2,000 but
so that that's subsidized. Butthen if you're looking at
retirement homes, and especiallyif you need assisted living,
which is, you know, if you havehigher care needs, that's
completely unsubsidized. So thenthe price discrepancy is huge,
like, there's, you know, allsorts of people in assisted
(12:38):
living who might be payingseven, 810, plus $1,000 I've
spoken to families that arespending over $20,000 a month,
and you know, for one, you know,who's got that kind of money,
and, and, and, and also where,you know, there's just this gap
in gap in support. And there isa big push going on up here by
(12:59):
the Ontario Retirement CommunityAssociation and some of their
allies to make it that thatretirement homes, you can get a
tax credit. It's done in acouple other provinces, and it's
worked quite successfully,especially in Quebec and in in
Canada. But, but yeah, I mean,there's a lot that needs to,
needs to be done. There's notenough beds, there's not enough
(13:21):
staff, and it's, it's somethingthat really needs to become a
bigger focal point, because noneof these changes happen quickly,
like having the governmentpromised that by 2028 in
Ontario, we're going to have30,000 new long term care beds.
We're not even close. And in allhonesty, we might be net down
(13:42):
from where we were from, fromwhen that announcement was made,
because there's been a number ofhomes that have closed and, and
you know, if you know these,these changes take a lot of
time, and we've all seen thedemographics. We know the number
of of baby boomers that are,that are coming and and we need
these changes to like, we needmore action taken sooner rather
(14:05):
than later.
Susie Singer Carter (14:07):
So true, like, we're having, one of my
colleagues, who's a filmmaker aswell, is doing a short film. I'm
gonna go see about what, youknow, a horrible name, but it's
called, you know, it's aboutgranny dumping is what they call
it, because these are for peoplethat don't have a family or or
support in any way, you know,not even, not even, you know, a
(14:31):
signed Guardian, and they'rejust dropped off after a
hospital stay on the street, youknow, with just to, I don't you
know it's just, it's, it's, wetreat our dogs better, we treat
our pets better, right? And inCanada, I'm sure it's the same
in terms of of the attentionthat this demographic gets
(14:55):
because of ageism and ableism.
Is that, do you find that a bit.
Issue, yeah,
Daniel Clarke (15:01):
well, and, and, I don't know that it's always even
intentional, like, I think someof the issue is that when, when
people are in this space, youknow, it's they do so much work,
like helping take care of theirlove, and so even if you're in,
you know, the most amazingassisted living facility,
there's still, you know, thatthere's a lot of stress
involved. There's a lot ofadvocating that that goes on.
(15:23):
And I think that when you're init, it's hard to advocate for
the system as a whole, becauseyou're so busy advocating for
your loved one. And then I thinkthat by the time you know when,
when your loved one passes, thatyou're just so done with the
system. You're so tired, you'reso frustrated that you just want
to get as far away from it aspossible. And I think that's a
(15:46):
big reason why there hasn't beenthe innovation in the space as
there has been in some of theareas. Like, in a lot of ways,
it it's, you know, elder care isa lot more old fashioned than
than a number of the othersystems. You know, just the fact
that El Dorado is the firstwebsite in Ontario that even
lists all the long term care andretirement homes together.
(16:07):
Before that, that that didn'teven exist, you had to go to all
these different sites even knowwhat what your options were. And
I think it's just because, yeah,it's just because people get so,
so frustrated when, when they'rein it, that they, yeah, they
just want to get as far away aspossible, and then, and then,
what, when you're in it is whenpeople really open their eyes up
(16:27):
to, like, just how difficult ofa situation it is. Because, I
think that for the most part, asa society, we just try and
avoid, you know, kind ofthinking about, like, getting
older. And because with gettingolder, we start thinking about
dying and loss and things likethat that no one likes thinking
about. So so, like, ageism cancertainly be an element of it,
(16:48):
but I think that there's a lotof good people that just want
to, like, yeah, they just wantto be as far away from it, like,
when, when they don't have to beas possible. I
Susie Singer Carter (16:59):
agree.
People ask me all the time, why?
How did you decide to do NoCountry for Old people? Because
Didn't you just want to justclose the door and go back to
your life, right? But I thinkthat, you know, I for me. I
couldn't not share what Ilearned, because I would feel I
(17:19):
don't think I for me, that'sjust me, and maybe it's because
I'm a filmmaker, and I thought Ican do something about this. You
know, that's that's my, that'smy, that's my sandbox, and let
me try to at least share whatI've learned and and hopefully
it will, it will do some good. Ii do think it will. I think
(17:41):
people like you, you're 35right? Yeah, yeah. And I think
that's so great, because it'speople like you and your
generation that, if you'relooking at it, that other people
will and you'll make it, make itjust natural. It's the same way
we look at, you know, care forchildren. It's natural. It's
what we do, and it's the cycleof life, and what you're doing
(18:01):
is just so powerful to you know,to have a voice in it, in your
generation, it's reallymeaningful, and I really applaud
you for it. That's when I firstmet you. I was like, I love you
so much. I love what you'redoing. It's just incredible.
Thank you. Thank
Unknown (18:18):
you. I appreciate that.
And you know, I, you sharedyour, your sizzle reel with me
for no country, for old people.
And, you know, it's, it's such apowerful, it's such a powerful
watch. And I look forward toseeing the, seeing the whole
film, when, when, when it'sreleased. And, and I think
that's part of it too, is istelling, is telling more
(18:40):
stories, and and, you know what?
The stories like you have toshare are very important, but
then also something that we'retrying to do with with El
Dorado. And part of the reasonwhy we chose the name El Dorado
is, you know, because el doradosthat you know the Mayan city of
gold and prosperity, and
Susie Singer Carter (19:00):
because you love super tramp.
Unknown (19:04):
So, you know, we do also want to share some of the
like, more positive stories. SoI volunteer. I volunteer in a
long term care home. And youknow, there's in the news, all
you hear is, is negative storiesof of you know, neglect of
abuse, of a lack of funding,short staff, all these negative
(19:24):
things. And don't get me wrong,there's a lot that needs to be
improved about long term care,but at the same time, there's
people who are living their bestlives in in there, you know,
making the most of it and and,you know, we want to be able to
share some of those stories too,not to diminish that. You know,
there's not things that need tobe improved there, there are.
But I think when everything'snegative, then you know who, who
(19:47):
wants to go into a long termcare home? And you know your
entire perspective, all you'veheard is, is these, these, these
horror stories. And we also wantto be able to share more of the
the. Positive stories, and, youknow, try and, you know, kind of
nudge things back in, back inthe right direction. Because as
(20:08):
much as there's a lot of reasonto be critical, we yeah, we want
to provide some balance to theconversation that, you know,
it's, it's not death's waitingroom. There are people in there
who are, who are, you know,making the most out of, out of
what they have, and I get to seeit when I like, I love
volunteering in in the long termcare home, because, you know,
some of the people you get, youget to meet and, yeah, you, you
(20:30):
know, sometimes things are goingon there that I I don't love,
but at the same time, you justtry and take the positivity and,
you know, kind of make the mostof it.
Susie Singer Carter (20:40):
I so agree with you. I agree with that 100%
because I think it's importantto for people to understand
that, that there are peopleliving their best life and
enjoying their life there, andthat we need to support that,
right? So it's not like, it's,it's like, like you said, like,
it's like, we're throwing themin the dungeon and locking the
door and walking away. No,there's people. I mean, when I
(21:03):
would go to visit my mom, youknow, I there, I always tell the
story about the cool group, whoare all in their 90s, who didn't
have dementia for the most part,but they were the cool kids,
right? And every time I come andsing with my mom or whatever,
they'd always go Susie singing,come on over. You know, they
come. They'd all hang out.
They'd go to dinner together.
They're just, they were the coolgroup, and they were enjoying
(21:24):
their life. And I enjoyed themso much. And, you know, and,
and, and I think that that'simportant to understand, that
there is good life going on, andthat, you know, a year to
someone in their 90s is is waylonger than a year in someone in
their 30s, right? Becausethat's, yeah, it's more
(21:46):
meaningful,
Unknown (21:48):
absolutely. And people like that. They, you know, they
brighten up a resident so muchlike you can. I've been into a
lot of long term care andretirement homes in Ontario, and
you know, as much as the staffcan make a big difference, the
actual facility can make a bigdifference. The biggest thing
that I find is, you know, it's,it's the residents, and it's,
(22:10):
you know, if there's residentsin there who are, you know,
welcoming, getting peopleinvolved and things like that,
then, then, naturally, thosehomes just feel home here, like
it feels like it's their home,as opposed to, you know, where
hospitals have kind of thatsterile feel to them, and, and
sometimes the long term care,yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and, you
(22:31):
know, plenty of long term carehomes feel like an institution.
But then there's also homes thatyou go into where you see that
there's a lot of residents thatjust, they bring a really upbeat
vibe and and, you know, not thatit should be up to the residents
to have to kind of create thatenvironment, but when they're
when that environment is, isthere? Then, then, you know, it
(22:52):
it the people, they the staff,prefer it. The other residents
prefer, you know, it's just,it's just a better environment.
So, exactly. So that's somethingthat we want to do with El
Dorado, is share more of sharemore of those stories. Because
there's, you know, we certainlywant to, you know, Shine
spotlights on areas where thingsneed to be improved. But at the
same time, you know, because wetry and educate people on on the
(23:15):
entire system and and, yeah, wealso want to share the more
positive side. And then it alsobreaks down some of the fear
that a lot of older adults haveon on going into long term care
or retirement home. Because, youknow, certainly if, if I just
read the paper, and that was myperspective on long term care,
there's not a chance I'd wantto, I'd want to go there
because, yeah, because you neverread in the paper is anything,
(23:41):
even neutral, everything is areally negative stories,
Susie Singer Carter (23:46):
right? But see, and for me, that comes down
to ageism, because people don'treally want to hear about older
people. So I think if we canforce, you know, that's what I
think that's when I talk aboutageism. I think it's that, it's
that the public doesn't reallywant to acknowledge it because
of their own fears, right? Andso, but, and I think when you
when you get to see these kindsof stories that are very
(24:08):
inspiring, then it becomes, it,it's, it's a positive and so it
becomes attractive. It becomes,you know, compelling, and that's
what we need. More more of youknow, and unless less kind of
stereotypical stories, but, youknow, really just an
inspirational, aspirational, youknow, we should be able to be,
(24:31):
to aspire, to be able to havethat kind of life in our third
chapter, yeah. And, and I thinkthat's important, you know,
because we all get there, hope,God willing, and so, you know, I
hope that I'm aspiration. I hopeI when I'm 90, I'm still doing
hip hop, you know. And I'mdoing, I'm doing the what, you
know. I'm enjoying my life, youknow. And I think, I think
(24:56):
that's what we're here for. Weall are on borrowed time. It
doesn't matter how old. We areso we don't know what we don't
know. So we have to make thebest of it. Absolutely
Unknown (25:06):
my my grandpa is 97 years old. He still lives at
home on his own. I a couple ofweeks I was golfing with him,
and his big thing, he's I reallylook up to my grandpa. I think
he's one of the, you know, mostadmirable people I've I know, or
I've ever met, and his wholething is he just, he doesn't
(25:29):
stop. So, you know, he goes tothe gym every day. He's working
on learning French. He, youknow, he exercises, he gets out
and and, you know, he tries tostay physically stimulated,
mentally stimulated and, and sothat's very much something that
I try and keep in mind, is like,you know, like, keep going.
(25:51):
Like, don't, don't stop. And,like, I said, he's, he's, yeah,
he's, he's getting up there inyears. But you would never, you
would never guess it.
Susie Singer Carter (26:01):
I love it.
I love it so much. Yeah, I justmy friend, one of my colleagues.
Dad is 90. No, he just turned100 What am I talking about? It
went to his 100th birthday at anassisted living, and he's a
writer, and he still writes, andhe's writing a new play. He's so
incredible. We had the bestbirthday party at at the
assisted living and he was like,you know, one of, one of the
(26:23):
actresses that's in my otherfilm, my mom and the girl who
lives there as well, Liz Torresand and they, we introduced them
at because I didn't know thatthey that she was living there
and he was living there anyway,after we all spent like, about
three hours together, he walkedby her With this candy goes,
I'll see you later.
Unknown (26:44):
Well, and I love that.
And, you know, it's, it's such ait's such a gift to get to grow
old and, and, yeah, that Iabsolutely love that. That's, I
love that story. We'll
Peter Eun (26:57):
be right back. I'm Peter. Owner of Peter sand
photography, and I want to talkto you about something
important, preserving memories.
Time moves quickly, and beforewe know it, those we love may no
longer be with us. For the lastfew years, I've taken
complimentary, professionalheadshots of seniors in a local
retirement home, helpingfamilies capture the essence and
personality of their loved onesthrough beautiful photos, I've
(27:20):
seen firsthand how meaningfulthese images can be. When I
photograph my own parents, Irealize how powerful it is to
have these lasting memories,photos that capture smiles,
stories and the unique spirit ofthe people we care about most.
If your parents or loved onesare still with you, don't wait.
These images can bring comfortand joy for years to come,
whether it's for rememberingsilly moments or honoring family
(27:42):
history, my message is simple,get photos of your loved ones
while you can hire a localphotographer, use your camera,
cell phone, whatever it takes.
Just do it now. For moreinformation, visit Peters fan
photography.com.
Susie Singer Carter (27:58):
I have a couple questions for you, so
these are the harder questions.
So you know when, when peopleI've since learned from doing
this documentary about, how doyou check on the ratings for
long term care in particular?
And there's on on our CMS, whichis the Center for Medicare and
(28:18):
Medicaid, they'll have, theyhave a compare, right? So you
can go on there and there'sratings and but the issue is
that they're self reported,right? And the issue is, is that
our rating system, these fivestar system, doesn't really
reflect the truth, becausethere's ways to manipulate the
(28:39):
system. So what are you? How areyou getting, I'm sure that
happens in Ontario. How do you,how do you work around that? And
what do you think would be agood solution for all of us to
to get those kinds of trueratings and make the standard,
you know, well, a you know,well, it is achievable that they
(29:01):
have to meet required, you know,compensatory, they have to do
it, whereas now there's ways togame the system. Yeah,
Unknown (29:09):
so, so that's a that's a great question. So one of the
things that we don't do is wedon't actually rate any of the
home so we collect informationto help people make the most
informed choice for forthemselves. And part of the
reason why we did that is when Istarted El Dorado, first thing I
did was I interviewed 80families that had placed a loved
(29:31):
one in long term care retirementhome in the previous year to
learn know about their process.
Who was involved in thedecision. You know how long it
took them, and then also howtheir expectations have have
been met or not in in reality.
And one of the things that Ilearned from that is that there
was instances where I heard fromdifferent families where they
(29:53):
had a loved one in the samehome, and vastly different
opinions of of that home. So oneof the things that was clear to
me early on is that, you know,someone's care needs, their
circumstances, even theirability to make friends within a
home is going to vastly, isgoing to drastically impact, you
(30:16):
know, their their opinion of it.
So instead, what we try and dois pull as much useful
information and try and makethis the decision making process
as transparent as possible. Sowe do include in a listing. You
know, you can see the Googlereviews. You can see how it's
rated on Google. Also for longterm care homes, they report to
the Canadian Institute forHealth Information, things like
(30:40):
the percentage of residents whofell, the percentage of
residents who have pressuresores, and things like that. So
that information hashistorically been somewhat
difficult to access, so we putit all on the site. It's color
coded, so that you see not justhow they're doing, but how
(31:01):
they're doing versus all theother all the other homes. But
yeah, ultimately, we don't, wedon't assign a score to homes.
We give you all the informationso that then you can assess, you
know, this place is most likelyto be the best fit. And then we
still do recommend that peopletour homes in person. So really,
what we want El Dorado to do ishelp you narrow down from,
(31:24):
there's 1400 elder care homes inOntario, narrow it down to the,
you know, maybe three, they'regonna be the best fit, and then
two of those three in in person.
But yeah, ultimately, we don't,we don't actually provide we, or
at least at our current stage,we don't, we don't provide a
rating. We just give you the thefilters and the information you
(31:46):
know. You can access theinspection reports through El
Dorado, and you know, thelanguages of care that are
available, the culturaldesignation. You can watch a
video tour, see sample menus,activity calendars, amazing
thing, yeah, things like that,that that we provide to you, as
opposed to saying, hey, thishome is a four and a half out of
five. This one's a three out offive, just because different
(32:09):
different families, sure, ordid, or different older adults,
they'll, they'll have differentopinions of various homes.
Susie Singer Carter (32:19):
So that's, that's excellent. So what? So
let's say, once they go to ElDorado, when you're going into
to tour, your top three what,what do you think is the best
way to do that? What would, whatwould you recommend on a tour?
What would you look at? Youknow, I'll just give you
something real quickly. I justsay like one of, one of the
people that we interview, one ofour experts for the documentary
(32:42):
said, you know, if, if he wasgoing to tour a place like
oftentimes, you know, you'll goin as a family, and you'll go in
and see a really beautifullobby, and you'll go, oh, it's
gorgeous. Oh, look at the diningroom. It's beautiful. Okay,
done. And, and he, you know, oneof his things that he said was
like, I would go in and I'd say,can I just walk through the
(33:04):
halls? Can I look at, can I talkto some of your residents?
Right? And because if I saw thatthere was residents sitting
there, and there was nobodyaround, and I couldn't find see
any, like, you know, CNAs oranything, then I'm going to
start wondering, is it just, amI just buying the lobby?
Unknown (33:20):
Mm, hmm, yeah. No, that that's, that's a great point. So
there's a few things that someof them are things that I picked
on. Some of them are like kindof recommendations that that
have been given to me, given tome over time. So, so yeah, a few
things. First is, becausetypically, in the lobby, a lot,
(33:41):
I find a lot of retirementhomes, which for retirement
homes in Ontario, though, thosearen't government subsidized, so
they're typically a little moreexpensive, but they're also
nicer. So a lot of times they'llset up some sort of, like social
area also in the lobby to tryand, like, kind of bring some
life into it. So, you know, arethere people that are that, are
(34:05):
there, or wherever has beendesignated as a kind of a non
meal time, kind of gatheringplace? Are there people there?
Are they engaging with eachother that can be a good sign?
Also, when the staff are, youknow, walking by residents are
do they do they know them byname, which is awesome if they
(34:25):
do, even if they don't know themby name. Are they kind of
acknowledging? Are theyacknowledging the residents,
when you're away from the lobby,say you got to go to the
bathroom and try and go to thebathroom, not because it's
really easy to make thebathrooms right at the front
where most people would go,really clean. But you know,
what's the cleanliness likeelsewhere in elsewhere in the
(34:50):
home? And you know, if you havea chance to chat with any of the
residents, that's that's notalways going to be something
that's possible. But you know,just chatting to them and not to
because. Know, they're probablynot going to say, like, hey,
like, Don't come here. But, youknow, asking them about, you
know, are there, are thereactivities that they that they
really don't enjoy? Or, youknow, should there be, like,
certain things on the calendarthey keep an eye out for?
(35:13):
Because, you know, if they cancall out things that are coming
up in the calendar, then, thenthat probably means that it's a
home that, you know, is kind ofmore engaged and have better
activities. And then, you know,something that I'm a little more
particular about is littledetails. So a lot of homes will
post things like menus around oractivity calendars. Are they
(35:35):
act? Are they current? Becauseif, if those sort of things
aren't current, it's a smalldetail. But, you know, making
sure that you get those sort ofthings right. And then the last
thing I'd say is, typically, atleast for retirement homes in
Ontario, they'll offer that, youknow, you can have lunch for
free, or something like that, ifyou're if you're going on a
tour, and, you know, takeadvantage of that and try and
(35:58):
schedule it. So it's a time whenthe when all the residents are
eating as well, and then you canhave a look around. And you
know, what's, what's it like inthe in the dining room? Are
people engaged with each other?
Are Are they not? Is it, youknow, is it just the kind of,
really quiet and so on? Becausemaybe that's what you're looking
(36:19):
for. And you know, maybe you dowant a retirement home that for
your personality is a little bitmore quiet, but it just gives
you, it just gives you a feelfor for what you can expect when
you know when you'd actually bea resident inside the home and
and also realizing that it'sprobably during that meeting,
during that visit, going to bethe best that it will be at any
(36:40):
point. So just just having aframe of reference that that
generally, they're, they'retrying to, you know, they're
trying to make a goodimpression. So, you know, it's
unlikely that it's going to besignificantly better than than
what you experienced that day.
Just because they, they aretrying to make a good impression
(37:01):
on
Susie Singer Carter (37:02):
you. That's such good advice. Yeah, I think
that's brilliant. Yes. Oh, andwe do that too. When they do
invite you to have lunch, whenyou go to tour, and I agree with
you, take them up on it, even ifyou're not hungry, sit there and
just see how what is the what isthe community like, right? And
then it also gives you a goodopportunity to speak to some of
(37:23):
the other residents, you know.
How you doing? What are youeating? Is that? Is it yummy? Do
you like it? I got the, youknow, it gives you a chance to
actually have a have aconversation that doesn't feel,
you know, stilted. So I thinkthat's great advice, I think.
Unknown (37:38):
And if anyone's not quite sure on how to be able to
start that conversation withsomeone at another table. Like,
something that I like doing is,you know, asking around some of
the other tables, like, oh,like, What's your favorite thing
on the menu? Like, what wouldyou suggest? And then that
usually opens up to like, oh,like, are you touring? Oh, what
for? And then you know that thatgives you an opening if, you
(37:59):
know, to have a widerconversation, if, if you're
interested, but yeah, so justask people around, you know,
what do they recommend from,from the menu? And I typically
find that there's, you know,there's a lot of people that are
quite eager and interested inengaging with you.
Susie Singer Carter (38:14):
I love it.
Yeah, that's great. That'sreally great. So I think, I
think, what do you think? Imean, I don't know. In Ontario
to if they have, do they allowanimals as they do, they have,
like, an out, you know, thosekinds of things so
Unknown (38:30):
that that so that is probably on our short list of
new features to add, becausesome homes do allow, like, small
pets. So, like, kind of dogs,cats, things like that. It's, it
really depends on, it reallydepends on, on the specific
(38:50):
home. So they, they make therules about that. But yeah,
there are some homes that thatdo allow that do allow small
pets. There's even, I was in ahome in in Oakville just a week
or two ago. And not only do theyallow small pets, but they've
got a designated, like, petwashing room, where either you
can go in or a groomer can cancome in and to kind of give your
(39:14):
dog or cat a spa day. So, soyeah, some homes do, do allow
it. You know, there's, there'ssome homes here that are
culturally designated. So thatmeans that a lot of the
residents will be from aparticular culture, and then a
lot of the food and activity aregeared towards that are geared
towards that culture. And youknow, for some people, that's
going to be, you know, a muchbetter, a much better fit for
(39:36):
them, especially, especiallywhen it comes to food like
that's something that I hear. Igrew up in a very multicultural
area, and, you know, food inelder care homes are something
that becomes a big challenge.
Because it seems like breakfastis always the biggest challenge,
because culturally, there canbe, you know, vastly different
things that people eat forbreakfast, and it's, it's hard
(39:56):
to, you know, someone who's. In,you know, in their golden years,
to suddenly try and say, youknow, you've been eating
breakfast one way for the past80 years, and now we're gonna
change that on you, right? So,yeah, being able to find a
culturally designated home,that's why it was really
important to me that on ElDorado, we have filters by
language or by culture. Becausewhen I speak to my friends, it
(40:20):
was just ridiculous that therewas no easy way for them to find
which homes either kind of spokethe language of their loved ones
or or were culturallydesignated. And I mean,
something that I'm sure you,many of your listeners, are
aware of, is that one of theearly signs of dementia and
Alzheimer's losing secondlanguages. So you know, if
someone can receive care intheir native tongue, then they
(40:43):
can repay, remain independentfor much longer, which is
typically going to lead to amuch higher quality of life. I
Susie Singer Carter (40:51):
love it that those are so and those are
little details that when you'rein a stressed out situation, you
might not think about, right?
You might not think like, ifyou're if your family member
loves animals, and like, I knowhere there's some facilities,
like the one, one of them thatmy mother was in, they just had,
like animals that were just thatbelonged to the facility, right?
So they just ran around, andthey were part of the home, they
(41:11):
were the commute, part of thecommunity. And everybody loved
them, you know? And I think thatif you are someone that is used
to that, you know, those, thoseare kind of things to look for.
You know, how open are they tothat? How, you know, how does it
match what you've, what you've,your lifestyle is, and maybe you
don't like animals, and youdon't want them running around
all over the place, right? Soyou do need to look at those
(41:33):
kinds of things, the details,little, little details that mean
a lot.
Unknown (41:38):
Yeah, you know, it's funny you say that because so
one of the reasons why you knowso the pet filter is one of our
most requested filters, and andit's because it's not only
people who want to have pets,but it's equally people who just
don't like being around pets.
And on the flip side, theyaren't interested in because
something that can be easy toget, get lost, especially with
(42:01):
all that news headlines, isthat, you know, these are
people's homes. This isn't just,you know, something like, we are
talking about people's homes.
And so, you know, you want tofeel comfortable in in your own
home, like, imagine you hateddogs, and in your home where
you're currently living, you'rerequired to have a, you know, a
(42:22):
dog is gonna live in your livingroom no matter what. Like, you
know, nobody, nobody would wantto move into that house. And,
and, and I think that'ssomething that's really
important to remember, is that,you know, the these are homes,
and we can get caught up in allthe statistics of, you know what
it is, and you know, you justsee these large numbers, and
they're overwhelming, but at theend of the day, yeah, the these
(42:43):
are, these are people who arelooking for somewhere to, you
know, live with their health,independence and dignity and
and, you know, it should beeasier for them to find which
home is going to be the best fitfor their circumstances.
Susie Singer Carter (42:59):
I just love you, Daniel, you've got it. You
get you're so smart about this,and you have such a great
perspective. You get it so well,like I didn't get it at 35 I
didn't, I didn't think about it.
My mom was such a pistol, and Ididn't think about it. My dad
died very young in a planecrash, so I didn't really have
and my grandma was everybody waskind of independent. They just
kind of went Goodbye. I'm going,you know. So I didn't really
(43:19):
have experience with that, andit's so it's so lovely that, you
know, you have such a great,compassionate, not
notwithstanding, intelligentperspective on on these, these
situation. No, it really does.
It's very, it's veryheartwarming and touching to me,
because it is their home, and wecan't forget that, you know,
(43:43):
it's their home. And, and nobodyyou know, listen, you work your
whole life, and you want to havea certain type of life, and, and
now, you know, because of thethe cycle. And now, do you have
more needs than than anyone canhandle? Okay, but let's make it
as good, as wonderful aspossible. And and remember that
(44:05):
these are individuals, and theythat these are not one size fits
all,
Unknown (44:09):
yeah, yeah. And you know exactly what, what you just
said there, where, you knowwe're talking, they've worked
there. They've worked theirwhole life. They've literally
laid the infrastructure that weenjoy. They've, they've fought
battles so that we don't have toand, and, yeah, like, I really
think that, you know, deservebetter. And I was very fortunate
(44:31):
to grow up in in a great familyunit where, you know, where kind
of always looked up to my lookedup to my grandparents, like that
was very much kind of part ofour family unit is, you know,
kind of the patriarchs of thefamily and and, you know, and
part of it is just that thestories that like that was
(44:54):
always my angle for why, whyI've always enjoyed kind of
spending time with mygrandparents. Is, you know the
stories they have they have totell and and you know things
that they can share, and youknow the perspective on, you
know what it was like when theywere younger, versus versus my
age. And even with both mygrandparents, both my grandpas
(45:16):
served in in the Navy, but wheremy grandpa, I've got one
surviving grandparent. And, youknow, I did some backpacking
through sales to south southeastAsia. And my grandpa was, you
know, on a ship going throughSoutheast Asia and being able to
share, like, what it was like inHong Kong when he was there,
versus when, when I went and,you know, some, some things like
(45:37):
that. It's just, it's priceless.
Yet, I didn't, I didn't realize,you know, it was really once I
started losing grandparents thatthat I realized, you know, just,
you know, what, what anincredible source of joy that
they can be, and you know, allthese great stories that they
have. So I do have some regretsthat I, you know, I didn't, kind
(45:57):
of start sooner, but at the atthe same time, try and enjoy as
much time as I have with with mygrandparents. And that's also
part of the reason why I lovegetting to volunteer at at a
long term care home where I Iwork in a gift shop where it's
kind of fallen it's only openwhen volunteers are there, and
most people just come into chat.
(46:19):
And you know, you hear allthese, like, great stories, or
sometimes you're just somebodyto they get to chat to and, and,
yeah, I mean, it's like, it's,it's a great time. And I'd
encourage anyone, like, ifyou're, if you're looking for
something to if you're lookingfor something to do, there's
always, like, there's greatactivities that they go on, that
they're always looking forvolunteers for. And, yeah, if
(46:40):
you have the chance to getinvolved, then, you know, don't
be shy. They'll be, they'll behappy to have you
Susie Singer Carter (46:46):
100% I always tell people, like, if you
want to feel good aboutyourself, like you'll just,
first of all, you'll have such ablast. And you'll, you will,
you'll learn so much you andyou're so appreciate. It
appreciated. And like, you know,you know it's like, the older
you get, everybody looks youngerto you. Well, you know, I would
walk in and they'd always go,Wait, that's your daughter.
(47:07):
Wait, how old? How old are you?
And I go, How old do you think Iam 22 Yes, I'm 20. How did you
guess that? Right, so if youwant to, or, like, if I'm
singing, they're like, oh mygod, she sings incredible. She's
like, Barbara story, son. I'mlike, I am really, no, they're
just so kind and lovely. And,you know, you want to feel good
about yourself. It's really,you're doing it for yourself as
well. So Don't, don't thinkyou're not
Unknown (47:31):
100% like, I tell people, you know, it's, it's a
selfish endeavor that that I am,that I'm on because, you know, I
I, I've seen what it's currentlylike and like I don't I want it
to be better for my parentsthan, you know, it was my
grandparents that I want it tobe better for me. So that's, you
know, we all have a goal ofliving a, you know, a long,
(47:54):
prosperous life, but at the sametime, most of us are going to
end up in some sort of, youknow, elder care home. So, you
know, at that, why not work tomake it the best that it can be,
so that when you get there, itis, you know, it's like
Disneyland for for, you know,for older adults, it's just like
(48:15):
the most incredible place
Susie Singer Carter (48:18):
possible.
Would you say it's like ElDorado,
I want to say this to you,what's your what's your
grandpa's name that's alive,
Unknown (48:31):
Hugh Ellis. So
Susie Singer Carter (48:33):
Hugh Ellis and Marnie is that his wife?
Yeah, they raised, they raisedan incredible grandson, thank
you. You are incredible. And Ithank them for that. I thank
them for giving you such lovelyvalues and curiosity and
compassion. So Daniel, I'm, I'mrooting, I'm counting on you to
(48:59):
keep to to, you know, keepgoing. Don't stop do what you're
doing. Bring it on. Over here inAmerica and everywhere else that
needs needs this kind of, youknow, this kind of service. And
we all do so I am, I am cheerleading you on. I know everyone
else that's listening ischeerleading you on too. And,
(49:19):
and I thank you. I can't wait tohear more about you and all the
things you're going to be doing,because I know you're going to
be doing a lot. You're veryspecial and
Unknown (49:27):
and one thing I can mention is, though, although
we're not in the United Statesright now, and it's probably
going to take some time beforeyou know we're looking at
expanding anywhere outside ofCanada, there is a similar
platform that follows a similarmodel called Purple door finders
that is kind of expanding acrossthe that's expanding across the
(49:48):
states, and, you know, follows alot of the same principles that
that that we do so, if so, ifsomebody is looking, you know,
right now, that can be aresource that that's really
helpful, because you do have tobe. Careful that there are a
number of pay to list platforms,and there are, you know, certain
platforms that are known forthey'll just recommend, because,
you know, they're being paid torecommend. And ultimately, I
(50:11):
know with my family, we, youknow, we wanted the best care
for my grandma, not the bestcare of the people who were
paying to be listed on aparticular on a particular
service and and, yeah, so that'sthat's something that, to me, is
is really important. And ofcourse, I want El Dorado to be
big and successful, but I alsowant to make sure that, you
know, all families are able to,you know, navigate this really
(50:34):
challenging time as as you knowthe best way possible. And
whether it's with El Dorado orwhether you're somewhere else
with another solution thatexists there, because families
deserve better, like they thatjust it's such a stressful time
when you know when you're havingto go through looking for elder
care, and families deservebetter resources.
Susie Singer Carter (50:55):
Amen, amen.
So thank you. I think we'll putall that on the show notes.
Everybody, they'll have the isit called Purple doors is? What
is it? Purple door finder, yeah,purple door finder. And, of
course, El Dorado, of course,Daniel Clark and and everything
else you'll and you can reachout to him, and if you want to
interview him, or have or talkto him, or just tell him how
(51:17):
great he is, you could do thatbecause he deserves it, and I
want to just tell you how much Ilove him again. And this whole
show is about love, because loveis powerful. Love is contagious,
and love conquers all. So thankyou all for following. Please
share if you like this show,stay well, take care of
yourself. Have fun and, see youand hear and talk to you next
(51:42):
time. Thanks.
Angela Fairhurst (51:53):
I'm Angela Fairhurst, founder of Jerry
gadgets, a revolutionarysolution for dementia care,
inspired by my personal journey,caring for my mother with
dementia, I develop patentedsensory tools that engage loved
ones, reduce anxiety and createjoyful moments without
medication, providing muchneeded relief for caregivers.
(52:13):
Jerry gadgets currently come inthree silicone buckets with
activities like flowerarranging, shape sorting and
tactile fidgets with more indevelopment. Each Jerry gadget
is designed to stimulate thesenses, fostering connection and
communication even at advancedstages of cognitive decline, non
toxic, built to last anddishwasher safe. Jerry gadgets
(52:35):
transform caregiving bypromoting engagement, improving
quality of life, and offeringcaregivers arrested from
constant supervision, discoverhow our innovative products can
bring joy and meaningfulinteraction to your loved ones
with dementia, while easing thecaregivers burden, visit Jerry
gadgets.com to learn more andstart making every moment count
Don Priess (52:58):
for a limited time, you can get 20% off your next
order of Jerry gadgets by goingto www, dot SSW, ww.com, Jerry
gadgets for dementia. You.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com