Palace of Hearts Desire | The Wild Beyond Finale | D&D5e Actual Play - Love Death & Dice

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Alright everybody, thank you so much for joining us. Look, before we get too distracted, I'm going to run the Wild Beyond intro for the last time here live.

(00:12):
So everybody strap the fuck in because things are about to get real emotional.
Cheers, buddies!
Let's fucking go!
See-fee, see-fee-nee.
Cheers, buddies!
Oh yeah!
We're already halfway through this flag.
Can I get a...

(00:34):
In a realm where whimsy reigns supreme, the Witchlight Carnival lights up our dreams.
Yes, Magic Carnival, its tents so grand, inside a way to the Feywild land, but secrets lurk, neath its merry band, we must unravel its mysteries hand in hand.

(00:58):
Through forests deep and fields of gold, in search of truths both young and old, fairies fly and tales unfold, adventure awaits for the brave and bold.
Whimsy and wonder, laugh and cheer, but shadows linger and whisper smear.

(01:20):
Through twists and turns and paths uncleared, the Wild Beyond where magics deal. So gather your courage, don't delay, embark on this whimsical journey, they say, where every step leads a different way to the Wild Beyond.
Come and play.

(01:54):
My friends, one and all, my lovely friends, welcome back to the finale of LD&D, this is episode 13, the last episode of the Wild Beyond.
My friends, our story continues for the last time tonight with Reiner and Violet, on the lawn of the Palace of Hearts Desire, where they have discovered that the Witchlight Carnival is also here.

(02:38):
As you approach the Witchlight Carnival for the last time in our story, you're approached by Nikki Midnight.
Nikki of course is wearing a full red and white suit, and they are a humanoid raccoon, or in our world of Intoxica they are known as Rack'n.

(03:05):
Nikki sees you both, and Nikki in Nikki's classic voice says, Oh my stars, it happens to be the strong woman, Violet, the tiefling, come back once again to the carnival. It's so good to see you and your friend, Reiner. Hello.

(03:26):
How are we doing?
You know, we could be doing a lot better.
Oh no. That's sad to hear. I think I heard that right. They pull out their hearing horn and hold it up.
Not well. Why is that?
Well, you see, a friend of mine is gravely injured, and we need to find, you know, the, was it the Temple of Hearts Desire, the Castle of Hearts Desire? Something of Hearts Desire. We need to get her there to save her, or she will die.

(04:06):
Your friend is injured.
His lady friend got turned into a puppet by one of the hags of the land.
Oh no.
And is this your love?
Yes.
Well, much like my love that you stand next to you, one that I know I may never have, Violet, the one that I worship, I will help you on this day.

(04:39):
For you see, it sounds like your friend has been put under a curse. May I see them, Reiner?
I, I, I, lays a puppet on the ground, and he...
He looks over it, and he goes, Oh my, this is, this is not good.

(05:03):
Well...
I guess a little bit of explanation is in order, please pick her up from the ground.
This here, the Palace of Hearts Desire, is our final stop for the year here in Intoxica.
We do our rounds through the whole dimension.

(05:23):
And this is where we come last, and we may not get very many customers in the Palace of Hearts
Desire, for it is only few that ever come here, but we come here as a way to celebrate ourselves.
Now, we aren't allowed inside the Palace, for we don't know how to get inside, but please, come, come, come.

(05:47):
And Nicky walks under the gate. He's like, no need for tickets. What's my explanation?
Those who work here come here and may just come in and enjoy themselves for the final day.
Come along, Trinket, Star. Come on, darlings.
Nice, nice. Cross up with a blankie and popcorn for story time. Baby, it's fucking story time.

(06:13):
We're getting it.
Now, Nicky shuffles in front of you, and you can see their tiny little raccoon tail
coming out of their little cute little suit, and they shuffle in front of you.
And you can see the area, and whenever you guys first enter into the carnival,
you look over to the right, and you can see the Lost and Found.

(06:37):
And in front of the Lost and Found, there's this large little yard. It's like a gated area,
and inside of it, there is a sleeping adult displacer beast.
Star, you wanna see your mama?
And she looks up at you with her little eyes and kind of purrs,
and her claws scratch into your leg like she's trying to climb up,

(07:01):
and she's got super sharp displeaser beast claws.
Oh, you're such a sweet little puddin'. Come here, and I'm gonna pick her up,
and I'm gonna bring her over to the displacer beast cage.
Nice. Do you go inside, or do you just stand by the gate?
Uh, I'm gonna go inside, cause I know Nebula. I know Nebula the displacer beast. She was the one that...

(07:26):
I've worked with her before.
Yes. Oh my god. Hey, couch coin for remembering the name of the displacer beast. Hell yeah, baby!
Proud of you. Nebula, you open the gate, and Reiner, and Nikki Midnight, you guys stand on the outside
kind of watching in, you know, a little timid, cause this is an adult displacer beast.

(07:49):
As you step inside, the displacer beast looks at you, doesn't really... you can tell it doesn't recognize you.
It like stretches, and its tentacles stretch out, and then it stands up and notices you, and then...
There's just like eight displacer beasts in this gate.
Hello, Nebula. I have a little failure of yours. Came across my path. Star, why don't you go down and meet your mama,

(08:17):
and I'm gonna put Star back down on the ground in front of her.
Sweet. But before you do, will you roll me an overall animal handling check for how this is kind of gonna go?
The first roll of the finale, everybody! Let's do it.
Let me see... That's an 11. Foundry, come to me. There it is.

(08:37):
Yeah, that is an 11. That's an 11.
Cheers, ba-da! That's not great. Cheers, pooper!
DM Steve underscore forge of low usdry roll, come on.
Would you like me to do the white? Oh, never mind, that's a 16.
Okay, never mind. Alright.
Thank you, Steve. When you say that in your tone of voice, you can tell that Nebula doesn't recognize you

(09:05):
because of your tone of voice. Why don't I talk the same?
Right. But they get your scent when you start talking, you set down Star, and all of the
images of the displacer beast go back into one, and then it walks timidly up to Star.
And as it does, Star gets a little scared and goes up against your leg.

(09:30):
I'm gonna give Star a little chin scratch around the ears and give him a nice little pat.
Nice. Scratch under the tentacle arms.
It's alright, darlin'.
When you scratch, Star purrs a little bit and then gets the confidence to step forward.

(09:50):
And they walk towards Nebula, and Nebula starts smelling Star all over, and like smells her butt.
And you can tell Star's just scared, like standing there super still.
And then there's like a shift in dynamic, like instantly, and Nebula gets excited and starts
running around the whole area, almost knocks you over into the dirt, and then stops and smells Star.

(10:16):
And Star's still looking, and Nebula runs around a whole bunch more, and then like teleports,
like, but just like, you know, displaces, and then like looks down at Star, like both of them,
and Star does the same thing, like displaces, and then they go back together,
and then they both start running around together in this whole little area.

(10:37):
Oh, my sweet Starlin', do you wanna stay and get reacquainted for a while?
Or do you wanna, do you wanna come back with me?
Um, when you say that, Star seems very distracted.
Nebula's like showing her food bowl, and like this little big old cat house she has,
and all this other stuff to Star, like walking her around.

(10:59):
And then Nebula grabs her by the scruff of her neck, and like walks her over to you,
and sets her back down, and like, blah, except for the fact that she's not even
back down, and like, blah, sets her on the ground, and sits, and looks at you.
I think this is a choice you have to make.

(11:23):
Now, mama, I promise you I'll take good care of your baby.
She's been on good care under my care with me.
I love her with all my heart.
And if you would allow it, I'll make sure she can come back and visit every time the
carnival and I cross paths.

(11:44):
She looks pleased, and she nudges Nebula forward towards you, and,
I think she goes back to her bed and like sits down when Nebula crawls up into your
hands, you know?

(12:04):
But I want to give Nebula something, because they got to meet their mom, and they get to
learn a little bit of things.
So if you decide to use Star, yeah.
Well, Star got to meet Nebula.
Exactly.
If you decide to use Star a little bit in a battle, possibly, on their like, dexterity

(12:26):
checks and spell checks are going to go ahead and give them a plus one, because they
learned a little bit from their mom.
All right.
That sounds fun.
Like their spell save DC and dexterity checks, yeah.
All right.
And you walk out of the gate, back to the Nikki and Reiner standing there.

(12:47):
Reiner, any opinions on what just happened?
That was weird.
That was like a lot of like animal interactions that, you know, seemed sweet.
But I'm still very concerned about Selene.
My apologies for the distraction.

(13:09):
We can get to the task at hand.
Nikki says, follow me, follow me.
Let's go.
As you guys start walking to the carnival, there's a different vibe here than there was
previously.
It seems like previously they were performing for, you know, the people, for the public.
But this time around, they're all kind of like standing around enjoying things themselves.
All the goblins are hanging out, just like drinking, like playing the games themselves.

(13:33):
All the fairies are flying around.
You can see people riding the snails themselves in the snail races, et cetera.
It's all of the people who work here that are enjoying the place themselves.
Does Zoboba still have an addiction to magic rocks?
Yeah, you look over and Zoboba's like twitching.

(13:55):
It's been a long time since he's had some magic rocks.
And like he's all alone.
Like no one's riding him because he's just a fucking meth head snail.
He's just like watching the races like.
Yeah.
Eventually you guys are led to the fortune teller's tent.
Tracer.

(14:17):
Yeah.
Nikki says, well, I know that I will never be able to win your love for your love lies with another.
Just let Tracy know that I brought you here and I wish you good luck on the inside.
I mean, you remember the cuddle the three of us shared the last time I was here.

(14:41):
Oh, don't remind me.
What a tease.
What a tease.
I imagine Trinky off to the sides like, did you really sleep with a drag code?
Did you sleep with a drag code?
Yeah.
OK.
Nikki puts her head down and skips off, walks away.

(15:06):
And you guys pull back the curtain and step inside of the fortune teller's area here on the fortune teller's tent.
Now, being that Tracy was your long lost love, do you want to describe the ambiance that we can kind of feel inside of this tent?
And or she was your roommate?

(15:28):
Would you like to describe my girlfriend?
A little bit of what we see here.
So, I mean, the tent is a beautiful, beautiful royal purple with golden stars emblazoned on the inside.
Little twinkling lights that seem to come from like a bioluminescent little floaty plant, like a dandelion.

(15:49):
They glow as they whisper around the room.
There's a lovely smell of like nog chompa and like wisps of just tiny hints of mint.
It's warm and kind of humid in there because there's like a kettle of tea always brewing.
It feels cozy. It feels soft.

(16:12):
There's pillows all around, all with little tassels and velvet.
It's very cozy.
Yeah, I love that.
We're going to give you another couch coin for that in their description because that was just beautiful.
So you step in and out from the back comes Tracy.

(16:35):
She sees you and without hesitation she runs out and embraces you very warmly and lovingly.
And then she takes a step back and she says, well, where are my manners?
Hello, my love, Reiner.

(16:57):
Would you guys like some tea?
Yes, please.
And Trace, Trace, this is my little sister Trinket.
Oh, hello.
She gets down on a knee and looks at her and she goes, well, you have your sister's eyes.
How cute.

(17:19):
And she pops her on the nose and she stands up and goes back over to the tea and she starts pouring it.
And she's like, welcome back.
I have heard stories and stories of things you guys have been into.
I've been in works with a man who was cursed to work for gold for the rest of his life.

(17:40):
And I helped him, cured him.
He told me he met you.
How lovely.
Yes.
Also, there was a scarecrow with a pumpkin for a head that I helped.
But I would love to hear.
Please, both of you have a seat.
Tell me of your stories.
Tell me of what has happened.
Please.

(18:04):
Well, quite a lot.
I mean, you've hit a couple of them on the head.
We've taken down a couple of hags, found out my daddy's strewing all of my siblings across the land.
And we lost our...
He wandered off in the night.
Our dear friend, Dr. Hops, he wandered off.

(18:25):
We haven't seen him.
I'm trying my best not to worry, not to scare anybody.
But on our most recent journey to the most recent hag, we found Raina's lady friend.
And she had been unfortunately turned into a puppet.
And we believe she might be in grave danger in this current state.
As you say that, she stops.

(18:48):
She looks over at you.
She stares at Raina.
She looks over at Selena as a puppet.
And the tea in the cup over fills as she stares.
And you can see this glaze go over her eyes.
And she says, oh my God.
And she looks and she cleans up the tea.
She hands it to you and to Trinket.
And then she says, Raina, please sit.

(19:10):
And she points to a table that has this ball on it.
And she sits down in front of it.
She's like, please sit.
And you have a seat.
And she's like, your love.
She's been cursed?

(19:31):
Yes, I believe so.
I...
It's a hag bitch, Selena.
Or Sablina.
No, no, Sablina didn't do that.
It's Ismelda.
Ismelda?
It was Indalyn, but yes.
Listen.

(19:52):
Yeah, there we go.
I don't know who did it, but the point is it's bad.
And it needs to be fixed now.
She's losing.
She's losing this bet.
She might die.
You say that you lay Selena on the table, the marionette that she is.
And then she looks over her and you can see another tear go down Selena's face.

(20:19):
Now, Teresa, it should be brought up that Raina can speak to her through a lute.
He's able to communicate with her.
I don't know if that will help.
It might.
It might.
But first, Raina, how much do you love her?

(20:43):
With everything in my...
Is she...
Your one and only?
I fear if I lose her now, I may never find another.

(21:05):
Tragic.
Raina, I may be able to help you, but it's going to take a lot.
If you're willing, I may be able to help remove this curse.
Yes, whatever it takes, I will do it.

(21:27):
She's okay.
I need you to speak through your lute.
I need you to tell your love.
To focus all of her energy into her heart and into her love for you.
And if she truly loves you, this may work.
Okay.

(21:50):
Lymphation for yourself works best.
Alina, can you hear me?
Raina, I need you to roll me an arcana check.

(22:11):
What the fuck?
I know we're playing with digital dice, but how are his rigs so good every time?
I don't fucking know.
Natural 20 for Raina, everybody!
Come and get some nat 20s in chat, please.
Cheers, guys.
Every time he gets a nat 20, I just don't understand.

(22:34):
Gosh.
You speak into your lute and it glows.
Raina, you feel the strongest connection you've ever felt through your lute to Selena.
Her voice comes through the lute into your mind.
She says, yes, Raina, I can hear you.

(22:55):
Listen, Selena, to save you, you need to channel your energy into your heart.
And in your heart, you need to feel the love for me with that energy.
The lady outside says if you can do this, you might be able to pull through.

(23:22):
I think I can do that, Raina, but please tell me a story of our past.
My memory is fading.
A memory of me and you, Raina.

(23:45):
Well, I can tell you the first time you taught me how to play.
Please.
Remember you taught me the G chord?
Then you taught me, you know, the E minor chord?

(24:09):
Sad chord.
Play that one.
Yeah, that is a sad chord.
Then you have like D chord.
Makes it a little happier.
Then C chord.

(24:31):
Right?
Right.
But a story, Raina, of our past.
Well...
Do you remember that time that we found the pond?

(24:59):
It's about a mile and some chains from, you know, my village.
The pond, yes.
And we saw one of the frogs get eaten by like the bass.
It was so funny.

(25:21):
Then, you know, I laughed so hard that, you know, I fell down and I put my elbow on a stump.
You were there to etch it up with some cloth.
Stop the little bleeding I had.

(25:45):
That stuck with me.
That was the first time that someone other than my parents, well actually only my mother, helped me in that way.
It really touched me.
And that's when I knew that you really cared for me.

(26:06):
And it was unique to me because it was outside my known family.
Yes, Raina.
All the times...
I love you because all the times we fooled around and all of our romantic moments,
the one thing that stands out to you in your memory was the time that I truly cared for you right now.

(26:31):
And I still do.
I think I'm ready.
She says she's ready.
Okay.
She...
Now, we switch back to Tracy.

(26:56):
Tree? As in a tree?
Teresa.
And Teresa looks across the table.
By now, she's lit some incense that's fairly foggy and smoky in here.
All you can see is the glow from this orb in the center.
And she says,
Raina, for me to break this curse, something must be taken.

(27:23):
The rule of reciprocity, Raina.
Something that means the world to you.
For the love.
Do you have something, could even be, I mean, your sense of taste?
Something like that, that I can take?

(27:49):
Your ability to laugh?
Take my wings.
Your what?
My... my... my wings.
Take them.
Do you love your wings?
I love my ability to fly.
He's barely set foot on the ground.
There's no need to fly if I am with Selena.

(28:14):
All right.
This is fair.
She holds out her hands.
You put your hands on hers.
She begins chanting.
She's in the middle of the table.
Selena is, and the orb begins to glow.

(28:37):
And as she chants, she continues chanting, and you start feeling this energy flowing through her, flowing through the orb.
And, Violet, you can see Raina's wings, they're like turning into little golden magic, and it's flowing into the marionette that Selena is.

(29:03):
And they continue chanting for a few minutes.
And then after some time, both of you close your eyes, and you can see her begin to grow and turn into a person on the table, right in front of your eyes.
You can see her eyes start moving again, and she's just crying.

(29:28):
And you can see, first, her heart starts pumping inside of the wood.
Like the love for you in between her is so strong that it's pulsing the magic through her whole body.
Wait a second, does this hurt?
No.
For me?
No.
Okay.

(29:49):
Doesn't hurt.
Magical tingles.
Yeah, magical tingles.
As your wings disappear, the magic flows into her.
And you can see her grow back into Selena.
And the ritual stops.

(30:11):
And both of you look down at the table, and you see a complete human Selena.
You see her heart pumping, but Teresa bends down and she puts her ear to her chest, and she's like, she's not breathing.
Reiner, Reiner, she's not breathing.

(30:33):
We need something more.
We need something to finish the ritual.
A song, a poem, a piece of you.
We need one last piece.
Sing your song that you sung on the lake.
Okay.
Sing that song.

(30:56):
Okay.

(31:24):
Let me hear.
Fly alone without you, my dear.
And the magic starts to flow out of her ukulele into her body.
Keep going.

(31:52):
Tired wings other.
Heavy things keep me low and here.
Will I find you again?

(32:19):
Will I get to love you again?
Then when you say, love you again, she sits up and takes a deep breath.
And she looks right over at you, Reiner, and she goes, Reiner, and she jumps into your arms, hugs you.

(32:47):
Hold careful. He's not used to walking. Oh, geez.
Yeah, can I immediately just fall onto the floor because I lost my balance?
Sure. And you guys are like hugging each other on the floor.
And Teresa stands up and she looks at you guys and she goes, I took a lot out of me.
And she drinks her tea.
But Selena's here and she hugs you and she kisses you all over the place, just like everywhere.

(33:15):
And she's like, I can't believe it, Reiner. I can't believe it. I can't believe you saved me.
Well, I did. And I'd do it again. But I don't have another set of wings, so.

(33:36):
You gave up your wings for me, Reiner?
Yeah. Who needs them? I have legs.
Reiner, I do believe it's been a long time since you've walked. I've never seen you walk. You loved those wings.
Yeah, I'll figure these out. Just like I did my wings.

(34:03):
You guys have a very cute moment together now that you guys are back together.
You hold hands and embrace each other. The air begins to clear.
You guys are in this nice, warm, homey area.
You guys sit together and enjoy this awesome tea that Teresa has made for you guys.

(34:23):
And you both kind of catch up together, you and Selena sitting in this tent.
Kuga Slayer, one subscribed. Yay, buddy. Hey, buddy. Cheers, man.
Cheers, Kuga Slayer.
Is there anything of significance that you want to mention that happens during this conversation?
Or would you like to describe it at all for us?

(34:46):
I just want to tell Selena what I've been doing this whole time, the places I've been.
I participated in the carnival competition. I almost won, but that big lady over there, she beat me out.
And she's been helping me this whole time.
She's like, hello. Thank you for taking care of Reiner. I appreciate it. He's a fragile soul.

(35:14):
He is.
He is.
He talks non-stop about you, though, so I'm just pleased as punch to meet you.
She turns to you and she says, Reiner. She smacks you. She's like, you talked about me.
And then I fall over because of still not using his legs.
Do you want the hops treatment? I could carry you on my shoulder. You're the same size.

(35:37):
No, that's okay. That's okay. I've been a puppet for a long time, and I would like to enjoy, once again,
teaching Reiner something new, how to walk.
It is an aspect of our relationship.
That is fair.

(36:00):
So you guys talk for a little while. You drink this tea. You hang out. It's very nice. It's a very humble moment.
They come before the storm, if you will.
After a little while, Theresa stands up and she says, okay, I know you must go to the heart of Palace Desire,
and I think I may know the way. I have a gift for you.

(36:21):
She goes into the back and she brings out this box.
It's wrapped in this beautiful ribbon and it has all these tassels on it.
She's like, well, now I know I missed your birthday. You were out traveling, but I did manage to find this.
I was told you were looking for it, so here you go. She hands you the box.

(36:45):
I go ahead and open it and be like, darling, you didn't have to do that. I hold her hand for a moment.
While I'm holding her hand, I give her a lay on hands of five because I know she did a lot of work just then.
So I give her back five HP. Just a nice little like, I'm smooth.
She feels it and she goes, again, you didn't have to do that.

(37:10):
Oh, speaking of that, we're giving a couch coin to Reiner for that very intense moment they participated in.
Very good, Reiner. But cutting back now, you open the gift.
As you open it, you unravel it. As you open it, like smoky magic comes out.

(37:34):
You see sitting on the bottom of the box is the unicorn horn.
Where did you find this? We've been looking all over.
She says, now I have my sources. The rule of reciprocity stands strong.
And for me, curing curses, people have made trades.

(37:56):
And after a few trades, I managed to get this for you.
And yes, now this, using this horn and having it in your possession will allow you to gain entry into the Palace of Hearts desire.
Use it well. But there is a promise that has been made.
You must return it to the male unicorn when you are done with it.

(38:17):
Oh, absolutely. We did promise that horse we'd give him back his horn.
Good. Very good.
Now, that was intense, like a circus or a carnival, if you will.
I'm not saying I cried, but I cried a little bit.
This is the finale, baby. Everybody in chat, thanks for hanging out with us.

(38:41):
Oh my goodness. I didn't read a lot of chat, but I've seen some really good messages in there.
Look, my guys, save that stuff because I really do want to hear about it.
And we will be doing a long rest, which is a post session, post campaign recap next Sunday.
Please come and join us to talk more about this show.
Welcome back, everybody, to the Wild Beyond finale.
I'm your lovely Dungeon Master Turk. I'm here with Kate and Connor.

(39:05):
Tonight is the final episode of the Wild Beyond.
If you made it this far, you're listening on YouTube or Spotify or wherever else you're checking this out.
First of all, thank you so much. We hope that our story was wonderful for you.
It's inspired you to go out and tell your own stories and have some fun with your friends.
Tonight, we're going to finish off the story and we're just going to move right along here.

(39:26):
Like nothing had just happened that I had cut out. So you guys.
Daddy, ha ha ha.
Our story continues with you guys wrapping up your conversation here in this mystic tent.
You guys stand up, you put your cups away, you finish off your tea.

(39:50):
And of course, Teresa walks you guys outside.
You walk out. Yes, with your beautiful new unicorn horn.
And you guys stand outside. Teresa, one last time, embraces you, Violet, very tight, but warm.
And she releases and takes a step back and she says, Good luck, my love.

(40:14):
Do this for the Feywild. I know what needs to be done.
And if you make the right choices, you will truly be the queen of the Witchlight Carnival.
Thank you, my love. If anything's to happen to me.

(40:36):
You've always been so good to me. Would you if anything happens, would you look after Trinket?
She's been through so much. They so much has been taken from her, just like it was me.
And she deserves someone who would care.
Of course, of course. She holds out her hand and Trinket's little red hand wraps around hers.

(41:01):
And she pulls her tight and she says, Say goodbye to your sister.
She's going to fight a very hard battle. And Trinket looks at you and says, I'm coming.
I'm not coming with. Yeah. Oh, no, you can come with me if you want, but it's going to be very dangerous, darling.
I just want to make sure that if it happens to me, it is it is my goal to make sure you survive this.

(41:27):
If anything, it is more important that you make it through than I do.
I will I will lay down my life to make sure you survive.
But I will I know better than to tell you, you can't come along.
Miss, I grabbed onto the bottom of a basket in the fucking rainstorm.
You're going to. Yeah. OK. Thank you, Miss Teresa.

(41:51):
And she goes back over to you.
I know better than to tell you, you know, you're going to just disobey me regardless.
Whoops. She, Teresa, kisses you on the forehead.
She says goodbye and she goes back into her tent.

(42:12):
But she gave it. I'm giving her a big old smack on the lips.
I'm going to give a big old kiss. Regular kisses all around, girl.
This is the dumbest thing, but I want to see how sly you do this.
Will you roll me a sleight of hand to like grab her hand as she walks away and pull her back in?
The best use of a sleight of hand check ever.

(42:34):
I don't do it well. It's a nine.
Oh, so it's like you try to grab her and then she sees you try to grab
and then she turns around and you guys embrace and kiss big old sloppy kiss.
Frog toys to your old violet. OK, we'll see.

(42:55):
OK, OK, we'll do it.
Why are you being jacanerous? Grapple check. Yeah, certifiable.
It's worse. It's a five this time. Yeah.
So same kind of I'm going to pull her very sly.
What's going to happen is I'm going to I'm actually going to pull her too hard.
We're going to actually kind of fall.

(43:17):
Disadvantage.
The end of the score for just a day.
We want a gay love story. Go fuck yourself.
It's a 10 this time.
So you don't fall, but you do try. And then she notices and she goes,
you've never been the slyest violet.

(43:40):
She just turns and falls into you.
Yeah, for sure. I feel like she's smaller than you, right?
So she like falls into your arms and you like grab her.
You're like holding her up. Yeah.
Big old kiss and you pull her back up.
She's kind of flustered and she goes, OK, be safe now.
Meanwhile, can like me and Selena be coming out from behind the couch,

(44:05):
putting on our clothes and stuff?
She's back and you're back at it.
Oh, yeah. And as you come out, she says,
well, we're going to have to get you used to those legs because without them wings.
Well, at least we know my third one works fine.

(44:28):
Ah, I see you're going to have to be a bottom for a while, Reiner.
That is upsetting.
You guys walk through the carnival one last time you pass by all the familiar stalls
and eventually you reach the end, the back of the carnival.
And you step out into a garden.

(44:54):
Oh, I have music for this temple. God. Yeah.
Now. Oh, wrong side. There we go.
This garden seems peaceful. It's huge.

(45:16):
You can see there are off in the distance, the direction you're headed.
There is silvery gates that seem to be embedded in the wall.
Excuse me, of the Palace of Hearts desire, the outer wall.
There is a luxurious garden all around. It's peaceful.
There are rivers, waterfalls, butterflies floating around,

(45:40):
other different kinds of pixies and fairies.
You guys slowly walk through your full party, just calm, relaxing.
You can hear your boots as you step on the stone cobble as you walk up to the gate.

(46:03):
And you reach the gate.
All right, so.
This is it, I guess. Let's see if we can set Zablina free.

(46:24):
Put things right for the Feywild.
I know that my Lord walks with me on my path
and knows that I will follow through with my duties that I am sworn to.
And I will put the Feywild right to move forward in my quest in life.

(46:48):
And I'm going to push through the gate.
Gift an item.
Frog Toys 2 just redeemed random item. Violet, don't you dare leave Trinket alone.
Now Trinket's gone away.
But you know, if something happens to you.
She does. Yeah, that's that's why she's got.

(47:10):
I got her. I got her a nanny.
Okay, as you try to push through the gate,
it seems there's like a magical resonance stopping the gate from opening.
All right. Can I hold the unicorn horn up to it?
Yeah, you hold it up and it glows.

(47:36):
All right.
Does there seem to be any sort of like keyhole or embellishment
or some sort of engraving on the wisdom check?
Violet, wisdom. All right.
Well, she's doing that. I'm going to try and fly over it.

(48:00):
Oh, yes, like, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, you're embarrassing yourself, sweetie.
I rolled it wrong. I'm sorry. There we go.
A 13. Nice.
Okay. First, your item from this here book.
The last possible item, maybe, of the campaign.

(48:23):
It depends what the cooldown on items.
Ring of Regeneration.
While wearing this ring, you can regain 1d6 hit points, provided that you have at least one.
If you lose a body part, the ring causes the missing part to regrow
and return to full functionality after 1d6 plus one days.

(48:48):
Yeah, and it says regain 1d6 hit points every 10 minutes.
The Ring of Regeneration.
So when Frogtoys said, don't fucking leave.
Oh, it's going on my sister. It's going on her.
Her alone. They meant it, because that's a good way to keep you alive.

(49:10):
That's, listen, that's going right on Trinket. Fuck that. It's not going on me. It's going on Trinket.
Glad it wasn't a tiny anvil, Creona.
We just created fucking X-Men Wolverine Toxica Virgin.
I swear.
Ring of Regeneration. Okay. Once you're ready, let me know.

(49:34):
Yeah, just a second.
No worries.
Frog has weird anvil curse. Yeah, Frog does.
Yeah, they do.
Saving the points for Han, but Trinkets are more important.
Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.

(49:56):
All right.
You got it.
Yeah, and I imagine she's been focused on that manual of Quickness of Action.
So I activated it because she's had it a while. She's just been studying.
Cool. Hell yeah.
All right. As you focus on this here, Horn,

(50:22):
you realize that you must have a purpose, a reason.
You must speak your purpose to the Horn for its magic to allow you through the gates into the Palace of Heart's desire.
All right.

(50:46):
We wish to free Zablina and return the Feywild to its rightful, calm, and playful nature.
And as you say that, the Horn illuminates and you can hear audibly the gate unlocks.

(51:08):
And it slowly squeaks open.
As it opens, the scent of roses and all different kinds of flowers waft into your guys' noses.
Ahead is a large doorway into this palace with standing stones that rise from the garden beds.

(51:33):
There are glittering streams that divide the garden and connect with a large pond shaded by willows.
The garden is silent, save for the sound of magical music coming from nowhere.
That sounds gorgeous. It smells fantastic.

(52:02):
Yeah. Adult Dragon Potion.
I think Trinket does still have that.
There are steps to the doorway.
You don't think what?
I don't think I wrote it down because I couldn't find it that one time.
We tried to put it in her thing, but she does still have the Adult Dragon.

(52:23):
Cool. Certifiable. Send the link so we can update.
But yes, very good. All right.
Reina, you, Selena, who else is with you? Is Pete Townsend with you?
Pete Townsend, yes. He is with me.
Trinket, Agdon, and Star.
Okay. You guys walk up the steps.

(52:47):
Before you get to the door, Selena turns to you, Reina, and she's like,
Do you want me to go with you?
You know, Selena, I would prefer it if you didn't.
I cannot stand losing you.

(53:08):
Okay. Well, I can go back to the tent and stay with Theresa.
This is such a beautiful garden.
Maybe when this is all said and done with me and you can
frolic under the willows and swim in the pond together.

(53:32):
No, baby, we're going back to my house to bang in my house that has like gold in the walls.
You have a house with gold in the walls?
Hell yeah, I do.
Oh my goodness. Yes. Can we bang in the gold?
Hell yeah, we can.
All right.
Duck tales.
That's a plan, Reina.
We're about to have ourselves a real old Scrooge McFuck up in that house.

(53:57):
She swings around her hand real hard and smacks you in the ass.
She says, Go get him, tiger.
And then she walks down the steps.
Shut the fuck up.
Is somebody going to clip Scrooge McFuck?

(54:18):
Another World Tabletop, subscribe.
You bit your ass.
God damn. Yo, dude, what the fuck, Aaron?
Story Dad out here in another world.
Dang, Gifts and Stubs ain't even resub.
Maybe it was just a retime.
Dude, thank you, Aaron.
Family, buddy.
Hey, thank you, man.
Thank you for supporting the show.
You're killing it.
Yeah. Hey, did you guys know there's a recent pre-recorded campaign that Brodeus is on over there

(54:43):
at Another World Tabletop?
So you guys should go over there and make sure you follow Another World so you can check out Brodeus on another campaign.
Steve's there too, baby.
The whole couch fan. Cheers, you guys.
I'm playing a character named Tammy Tushus.
Of course you are.
Do you have tushus?
No.

(55:05):
A part of the couch, a part of the crew.
Big Jim Slade gaming gifted community subs.
What? What?
Big Jim!
Thank you so much for supporting the show, Big Jim, with the five gifted subs!
It has been over an hour.
I believe we could try to start another hype train.
Just gonna put that out there for everybody.
We absolutely could.
And I do want to remind everybody all this support is going towards our next campaign.

(55:29):
Costumes and other kinds of things.
So thank you all so much.
Fucking cheers, you guys.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Okay.
Fucking coins! Reigns from above!

(55:51):
Another World tabletop just cheered 100 bits.
Family.
Fucking family, dude.
Fucking family! Reigns from above.
Coins reign from above.
DM Steve underscore forge of lore cheered 69 family.

(56:14):
I don't think you want to do that.
I'd rather not 69 my family.
They'd say, she, number one, we're related by blood.
Number two, she's a minor.
Yeah, if you want that shit, go to like the first two pages of Pornhub and you'll find what you want.
Okay, I'm ready.

(56:35):
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
You stand in front of a door.
Another World tabletop just cheered 69 bits.
Reena.
Reena.
What are you doing, Reena?
Oh, you know.
The double zero amylase just cheered 169 bits.

(56:58):
Family.
Family.
Big Jim Slade gaming cheered 69 Haystab family.
A part of the couch, a part of the crew.
Children of Proteus gifted community subs.
Thank you for supporting the show.
You're a fucking part of!

(57:20):
What the hell?
Tax evasion.
My ass.
I have a crippling disease.
Choo-choo.
I have a crippling disease.
If I see a hype train as close, I must make it come to completion.
Aw, certifiable.
Coming in.
He gifted Tier 2 subs!
Oh, shit!
Bitch, what the fuck?
What's your big bad?
We're going to do this!
What?

(57:41):
What?
Tier certifiable.
Thank you, bro.
Five Tier 2 subs.
What in the fuck?
I didn't even know you could do that.
Cheers, man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Fucking legend.
Fucking legend.
Goddamn.
We love certifiable around here.
And certifiable and truth.
You better not certifiable.
You better make him a mod at some point.
I feel like certifiable deserves to be a mod.

(58:02):
They do.
They do.
They believed I talked to them about it.
They were like, don't give me that power, Turk.
I love you.
Don't give me that power.
I was like, all right, buddy, I love you.
Yeah.
I've declined twice.
See?
Exactly.
Fair.
You just here for the show, baby.
Yeah.
A part of the couch.
A part of the crew.
Certifiable underscored.
I'm a part of the crew.
Yeah, a part of the couch, a part of the crew.

(58:26):
Certifiable underscored gifted community subs.
I was waiting for it.
Okay.
Thank you.
Fucking coins.
Ranged from above.
Another world tabletop just cheered 100 bits.
Buys yourself something sexy, Turk.
Why do you say you like Swiss car?
Buys yourselves something sexies.
Yeah.
It's nothing of an honor.

(58:46):
But story that cheers by.
Never pulls out my dicks.
Okay.
Here we go.
You guys stand in front of this huge marble door.
The door has a huge heart on it.

(59:09):
Inside of the heart, there is a rose.
Inside of the rose, there is a skull.
Inside of the skull, there is a dice.
Almost representing love, death, and dice.
The door has two small handles made out of gold that are very embossed and lovely.
You two stand there and you can make your final preparations before you enter.

(59:31):
All right.
Um.
Rank it.
Yeah.
I want you and Star to stay together at all times.
And I want you to stay as far away as you can.

(59:54):
I know you got that crossbow that does some good stuff, but I need you to make sure you are as far out of harm's way as possible.
I'm allowing you to come with because I know better.
You'd figure out a way with your little tinker in mind to get in here.
But I need you to stay safe.

(01:00:17):
You and I have good plans after this is done.
We're going to make our parents pay for what they've done to us and the rest of our siblings.
I will protect her and the Rio Violet.
Thank you, Reiner.

(01:00:39):
All right.
Got any inspirational songs you want to put out there in the universe, Reiner?
The Garden?
Sure.
We are.

(01:01:01):
Okay.
See on the map.
We've got you two together.
We've got Pete Townsend.
We've got Agdon.
Trinket, I don't have a token for her, so this random token is what she's going to be.
And we have the Displacer Beast kitten.
I love it.
Yeah.

(01:01:22):
Random token.
Agdon, you little silly goofball.
Yeah?
Yeah, what's going on?
It's been like three episodes since I've had any dialogue, but I'm here.
I'm ready.
I'm following you guys.
Did you find an old stash before Dr. Hobbs went away of divination crystals?

(01:01:47):
What's happening?
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm just fast.
You talk too slow.
I know.
I know I do.
But if you could work on whatever happens if we end up in a battle of some kind, helping me with distractions.
I'm a heavy hitter and we know it, but you're quick.

(01:02:13):
If you and I can team up and you can distract on one side where I can lay on a big hit or vice versa, let's do it.
Okay.
Sounds good.
I can do that.
I can do that.
Yeah.
Lord, greatly strength.
Lord, gain help.
It's time I'd like to do the inspiration for everybody.

(01:02:36):
Okay.
But first, level three Hype Train has succeeded.
Thank you all so much for contributing to the show.
I really do appreciate it.
Honestly, I mean, like, the more support we get, the better the next campaign is going to be and all the cool ass costumes we get to get.
So like, thank you guys.
Truthfully, thank you for supporting the show.
Cheers, guys.
Thank you.

(01:02:57):
All right, Reiner, bardic inspiration.
There's a big fucking bitch in there.
We're gonna drag her out by her head.
Gift of Potion.
Certifiable underscore nerd jasper deem custom potion.
Potion of giant sized divilot.
Reiner, hold on.
Because everyone loves a giant sized tiefling smacking the crap out of those worthy of an ass whoopin.

(01:03:22):
Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah.
Because she's a bitch.
She's a bitch.
We're gonna kill that fucking bitch.
She's a bitch.
She's a bitch.
We're gonna kill that fucking witch.
Oh yeah.
All right, you guys motivated?
Is that good?

(01:03:43):
Very good, very good.
All right.
You let me know once you're ready to open the door.
Yeah, let's do it.
I think now's the time.
I've prayed to my lord.
I've given a rundown of how to keep my kids safe, my kids sister safe, and we've gotten some extra dice for when we need to.

(01:04:10):
And I'll slam back that potion once I know we need it.
1d8 bardic inspiration.
Whatever.
Certified, was it the same one as last time where I become like 25 feet tall and it lasts for 24 hours and it makes everything I do like plus eight or some shit.

(01:04:31):
Yes.
Yup.
Yup.
All right.
All right, friends.
You guys, I'm using utilizing this map.
It's not perfect, but it is what it is.
Reiner, you reach out and you open the door and it opens slowly.

(01:04:56):
And oh, I was going to move you all together there, Violet.
Hold on.
All right.
I was too excited.
I got a big stride.
Whoopsies.
They're all tiny and Reiner's never used his legs before.
What is happening?
Do you want me to carry you?
No, I'm fine on the ground like this.

(01:05:18):
I imagine I'm running kind of like the grunts do with Halo.
I imagine you're running like Conor McGregor in the new Roadhouse movie.
Ready?
All right.

(01:05:39):
Nope, that ain't it.
This is it.
So you enter into this room.
It looks like a throne room.
There are marble statues sculpted with images of people that circle this whole room.

(01:06:04):
People in scared and frightened poses that circle the whole thing.
There are images of fairies and demons that support the arched huge ceiling in this chamber.
Seven archways spaced evenly around the room's perimeter lead to the center of this room.

(01:06:29):
With the stained glass windows set in their weights,
each window bears the image of a knight of some kind in armor.
Near the middle of the room, a short bearded tiefling in black robes
reclines on a gilded wooden throne with clawed feet.

(01:06:53):
The tiefling grips the leashes of a small scaly bird-like creature
and next to him stands Indolin the Hag.
On the other side, a knight with a large flaming sword stands.

(01:07:16):
The large flaming sword knight wears a helm that conceals his face except for his red glowing eyes and his sword he holds.
A flame bursts into fire as you step in.
A statue of an unarmored elf stands in the front of the throne.

(01:07:38):
The statue is posed as if ready for battle with the short sword gripped in its tiny little hand.
The tiefling, sitting in the throne, grips the handles of the throne a little bit tighter
and looks across the room at you and he says,

(01:08:00):
Well, this is quite a day, isn't it?
Annie.
Daughter.
What brings you here to my new kingdom?

(01:08:26):
Why, to smite you, of course.
Always the ambitious one, weren't you?

(01:08:50):
Not for lack of your trying.
Now I have traded. I have bargained. I have sleazed. Stolen.
Take a seat and roll for initiative.
Thanks so much for the follow, buddy. Cheers.
Cheers.
What is surprising to me is someone who probably,

(01:09:15):
that took so much without giving back,
that reciprocity hasn't come and bitch you right back.
Well, you see, my daughter, if you take from someone or you make a trade,
you freeze them in time, turn them into statues.

(01:09:42):
You don't ever necessarily need to fill your end of the bargain, do you?
At least, not unless they were to no longer be frozen in time.
So once I can fill my end of the bargain, then I will.
Our home. Avernus.

(01:10:04):
You see, I was not able to be the king there,
but this here realm of the wild beyond was easy for the taking.
I gave away my kids, what have you, but I made it to the top.
And now we can rule together my daughter, the heir to my throne.

(01:10:29):
What say you?
I can't believe after everything you've done to me, what you took from me,

(01:10:53):
from all of us, that you think I'd ever side with you.
I have sworn my allegiance to smite you where you sit.
I will never side with you.
You deserve to work in the pits of Avernus

(01:11:16):
until you are nothing more than a nubby-fingered, bleeding, withered old husk.
Sad to hear.
Coming from my own daughter, I knew you'd make it on your own. You're strong. You didn't need me.

(01:11:38):
But if that's how it must be, then that's how it must be.
You'll create a new heir from your own very blood.
And he stands tall from his throne, and the cockatrice next to him,

(01:12:00):
he lets go of the leashes, and it growls.
Indolin Hag, standing next to him, she says,
Ah, my performing friends.
The very same.

(01:12:24):
Yes? Are you going to play me another song?
Oh yeah, sure. Um, this one's called Eat Shit, Fuck Ass, and I cast Silence on Indolin.
Oh, shit. I guess that's how we're going to start initiative.
Will you explain Silence for us? And then we're going to roll initiative, baby.

(01:12:47):
Papa Smite!
For the duration, no sound can be created within or passed through a 20-foot radius sphere
centered on a point you choose within range.
Any creature or object entirely inside the sphere is immune to thunder damage,
and creatures are deafened while entirely inside it.

(01:13:08):
Casting a spell that includes a verbal component is impossible here.
So you're casting it on Indolin, but it affects everybody on that side of the room?
Mm-hmm.
There we go. You see it right there, eh?
And the, the, the, the, I think it's a cantrip. Hold on.

(01:13:31):
20-foot radius.
Control. Well, anyways, it goes like this.
Hello, darkness, my old friend.
Come to talk with you again.
The sound of silence.
Let it hurt me.

(01:13:53):
This barrel of silence.
Love it. Love it. Where's my paper mat?
I need the nike that I saw.
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
I'll be using a Google Doc, because I can't find me paper. That's fine. It's fine.

(01:14:17):
Okay, friends, roll me initiative.
Now, I will let each one of you control one person on your turn,
but you're going to need to roll initiative for one other,
because you guys have more than one companion.
That's going to be a knight for me.
A what? A 19 for me.
I got a 10.

(01:14:39):
And then Trinket got an 18.
Nice.
Very good.
And Reiner, you only have Pete Townsend, right?
Yeah.
Okay. So he'll just go on your turn.
If you want to on D&D Beyond, you can look up Owlbear.

(01:15:02):
That's Pete Townsend. Use his character sheet.
So you have Trinket. If you have your Displacer Beast kitten, you want them to attack.
And Agdon. Who are you choosing here?
The Displacer Beast. I imagine Agdon can do what he wants.
Okay. So then Agdon.

(01:15:26):
Roll initiative for him as well. Please he.
Oh, that's a six.
Nice. And he has plus seven. That makes it a 13.
He's a fast boy.

(01:15:49):
I'm going to split these guys' initiative in half.
So the cockatrice and your father got a 13.
What is your dad's name?
Agamemnon.
Fuck ass.
Fuck ass.

(01:16:10):
I'm drinking poor people meat cheese.
This is like just tahini in Australia.
Okay.
Reiner with his 18.

(01:16:31):
And then you got those two. Gotcha. Gotcha.
All right, Reiner.
You're here first.
This is my 18. I'm going to use my movement to get right there.

(01:16:52):
And I want Trinket to eventually come back and stand on that pillar probably.
But I'm also going to command Pete Townsend to go fuck up that other big bitch.
Okay.
What attack is he going to make?

(01:17:14):
He is going to make
Probably a slash attack.

(01:17:41):
Multi. Okay. No, he has multi-attack. So he's going to use beak.
Melee attack plus seven to hit.
Who is he attacking?
He's going to be attacking
the other beak one. So you know the animals that has a beak.

(01:18:02):
Cockatrice.
Yes.
Excuse me.
Isn't that.
That other one.
Would you like me to roll to hit?
Yeah, absolutely.
Let me see here.
I can actually do it. Features. Beak attack. Gotcha.

(01:18:29):
Didn't roll physical dice. That's okay. Attack.
Okay. Well, I got a 17.
Wait.
Plus five plus two.
You were rolling for him?
I did. Yes.
Okay.
I did. Yes.
Good. Good. Yes. Take your roll.

(01:18:51):
Yes. Hell yeah.
Seven damage.
Is it not one D10 plus five piercing damage?
Oh, it was. Yeah, it was 12 damage. God damn.
Here we go.
The cockatrice as it gets beaked screams out pain as your owl bear friend attacks it.

(01:19:17):
And they do like that thing with their like fucking each other up.
Good. But Pete Townsend comes up on top.
He's clearly the superior beaked animal. And with that multi attack, he's going to also use claws.
This is also a plus seven to hit within five feet of one target.

(01:19:44):
Two D8 plus five slashing damage. If it hits.
It's a 16, which makes it a 23. It does hit damage.
Two D8 plus five.
12 more damage. God damn Pete Townsend.

(01:20:05):
This thing's almost dead already.
Bitch cockatrice.
All right. Reiner, are you going to make an action on your turn?
I can't. I'm still concentrating on silence. I'm going to keep that.
So you can do concentration spells as well as an additional spell.

(01:20:27):
As long as the spell doesn't require concentration.
Okay. Let me let me see then here.
Beak on beak action. Made it home from work and to stop by.
Aw, key mother's day. Also, hi, Sunni. What's up, dog? Good to see you, buddy. Thank you for joining us.
Well, I may as well unveil my new spell that I learned from leveling up.

(01:20:56):
Yeah.
Eldritch Blast.
As a bard?
Yes, because I took the feat. I took the feat Spell Sniper.
So it allows me to gain one spell that I don't normally would usually have.

(01:21:18):
And then it allows me to double the distance of all of my spells that I currently have.
God bless. Lord, gain those smiles on us this day.
Pretty cool.
And the way this works is I'm going to strum one chord on my ukulele, all powerful like, and the blast is going to emanate from my crotch area.

(01:21:48):
Check.
Check.
This is going to be aimed at the witch bitch.
Nice.
Did it roll? I'm addicted.
A literal power chord. I don't see it.
Uh oh.

(01:22:09):
Maybe I have to do it in foundry.
Okay.
Jesus, this guy.
Hopps, yes, took it work.
14 plus seven is what?
That would be more than her armor class. That's for sure. Alright, it hits.
Cool.
And then, you know, I just beams out from my crotch.

(01:22:36):
Hell yeah.
Classic.
Hell yeah.
Is it plus? It's just one to ten.
Yeah.
There it is.

(01:22:57):
I'm going to do a ten.
Ten?
Fuck yeah.
As you shoot her, she's still in the cone of silence.
And you can tell she's fucking mad as she gets hit with this beam from your crotch and she's like...
Real mad about it.
Real mad about it.
That ends your turn, Trinket.

(01:23:18):
Oh, wait, wait. Hold on.
I'm saying something and I'm confirming it on my character sheet. At level eight, wouldn't you have two beams? And it says yes, count two.
Alright, roll another d10.
So this is a riddle coming from my testicles.
Yeah. Nine.

(01:23:40):
Eat shit, you witchy bitch.
Eat shit and die.
Oh, so it's funny. Okay.
Now, it's Trinket's turn. What does Trinket do? Trinket's first real action.
What does Trinket do?
Uh, that's an excellent question.
So I'm wondering how we do this. So one of the things she has now...

(01:24:03):
Exciting, Poohbert.
Yeah. One of the spells she has now kind of links up.
Oh, never mind. We're doing this.
She's going to stay where she's at.

(01:24:28):
But she's going to do Eldritch Cannon, which is a flamethrower.
Sick.
What does this look like as little Trinket does this?
Yeah. So she's been just collecting scrap all throughout.
So it's made out of little rusty bits and rocks and cogs and wheels and stuff.

(01:24:54):
But inside of it is like a little element.
Like she picked up some stuff when she was originally in...
What was it? Scabathas' house? Whatever that other hag.
And some of the magically imbued embers that the flamethrower was hanging out with,

(01:25:16):
she's actually stuffed those into like a cannon sort of thing.
So when she like yanks a pull cord, almost like a lawnmower, it shoots out like a massive flame.
Cool. I love that. I love that.
So, okay. I need to read what this does though.
Because it says Eldritch Cannon flamethrower. Armor class of 18.

(01:25:43):
It is immune to poison damage.
I feel like she throws out... It's like its own thing. She like throws it out.
It's like a turret.
Alright. Yeah, it's immune to poison damage, psychic damage in all conditions.
So she's going to throw it out to the middle of the room, I guess.

(01:26:05):
And then it says bonus action. 15 foot cone of fire.
Each creature takes 2d8 fire damage.
Half that on a deck save, DC 14, cannon can walk or climb up to 15 feet as part of its bonus action.

(01:26:26):
So she just throws it out.
She's going to hook it out into the middle of the room.
And then it's going to head towards the hag and daddy.
Okay. And what is the range on it?
15 feet.
Okay. Because...
It depends on where it goes.

(01:26:49):
This here would be 15 feet.
So maybe here...
Let's see. Alright, see.
I guess you want to fuck up Pete Townsend.
No, no, no, no. So what we're going to do is...
Okay, so from the one that's a skeleton face.
Yeah.
Is that deity? What's that?

(01:27:10):
That's going to be the turret.
Oh, that's the turret. Okay. So we're going to actually come out two diagonal down from that.
Like that?
Yeah. Yeah. Right there. That's what we're going to put it.
And then, yeah, it's going to do 15 foot cone.
Oh, it's a cone?

(01:27:31):
Yeah. It's a cone of fire.
It's a 15 foot cone of fire. Each creature takes 2d8 fire damage.
15 is like this.
Alright, that's fine. It takes the witch out.

(01:27:53):
Yeah.
Well, it goes for the witch, so we'll take that.
Yeah. So we're talking dexterity save? Is that what it said?
Let me read it again.
2d8 fire damage, half that on a dex save of DC 14, and then cannon can walk and climb up to 15 feet as part of its bonus action.

(01:28:14):
Woo! We ride it, Tom!
Sinema Harris subscribed couldn't do this on mobile. I is on computer now.
Hell yeah, you are, dude.
Hey, thank you so much for supporting the show. We already talked about it earlier, but all of the support we receive right now will directly support the very next campaign that we're already planning.
Tonight's the finale. We got big plans for the next campaign, Suni. Yes, we really do.

(01:28:35):
And you, as a fellow metalhead, are going to fucking love it. Alright?
So thank you so much, Suni, for supporting the show. Cheers, buddy. Thank you, thank you.
Mm-hmm. Okay, they're going to make a dexterity save. They only got plus one to dex. What is the spell save DC?
They got a natural one. Doesn't matter. They fail. They take the full damage. Roll it.

(01:28:57):
Alright, 2D8 coming right up. How cool are these measurement things? Fucking sick, right?
Alright, 2D8 coming in hot. Both of them are a five. So that'd be a ten.
Fuck this hag, huh? Yeah, fuck her. Did you see what she did to Ryder's lady love? We're going to fuck her in the ass with a ball peen hammer.

(01:29:22):
And then we're going to take cactus dick demons to Medea, just like my sword wanted.
Yeah, we're doing the head of the hammer first. In and out. In and out, in and out. There you go.
Okay, that ends Trinket's turn. It's now Agdon. Now Agdon has multi-attack. He has a dagger.
He has evasion. He's got uncanny dodge. He doesn't have much for attacks, but he can run around like crazy.

(01:29:49):
He has no spells. What would you command him to do?
I mean, can he possibly get on Pete Townsend's back and just hurl daggers from the back of Pete Townsend?
Sure, fucking why not? Fucking why not? Alright, make me a dexterity attack. Just roll a d20.

(01:30:15):
Okay. And he has... Jesus fucking Christ, plus seven. He only got three, so it's a ten.
That sucked. Cockatrice, no matter what it misses, so he tucks a dagger, just hits the ground.
That's fine. Alright.

(01:30:40):
Now my friends, it is Father's turn. But before I reveal too much...
He just takes a right step. A couple of feet out of the cone of silence.

(01:31:03):
And first off, he casts Web.
He conjures a mass of thick, sticky webbing at a point that he chooses.
Within range, the web fills a 20-foot cube from the point for the duration.
The webs are difficult terrain and lightly obscure the area. If the webs aren't anchored, they lay across the floor.

(01:31:30):
He's going to do it between the statues and between the floor.
Each creature that starts their turn in the webs, or enters them, must make a dexterity save.
And on a failed save, they are restrained.
But he casts Web.
The webs are flammable, just so we're aware.
DM Steve said, Rhino, web him back, and Rhino just...

(01:31:55):
...
So literally, all of you guys down there, as you can see, are now in a web. I put a web down here at the bottom.
All of you guys that start your turn must make a dexterity save or you will be restrained.
Alright. Make sure you use symbolic inspiration.

(01:32:20):
Yeah, that's right. I need to see... I think he has legendary actions. One sec.
What's that mean?
It means he gets to do extra things. That's what it means.
Oh. I mean, he's a tiefling.
He does have...
He has multi-attack.
So he's also going to make a ranged attack of Sorcerer's Bolt, which is plus six to hit, and he's going to shoot it right at his daughter.

(01:32:44):
Me or Trinket?
What an asshole.
That's a 16, which does hit you.
My armor class is 16.
That's it.
You take 12 damage, and she shoots a bolt at you.
And he's like, my daughter betrays me for this. Freaks!

(01:33:11):
We could rule together.
File it. The Fim Kingdom.
Oh, no wait.
It will be a Fim Uprising, Violet.
He shoots you with it.
Learn your lesson, girl!
Listen, you can talk as much shit as you want, but here's the thing at the end of the day, daddy.

(01:33:37):
If you wanted a Fim Uprising, you shouldn't have betrayed your entire family and your entire bloodline in the first place.
He actually shot through all these other folks, which means it should have been a disadvantage.
Oh, shit. Hell yeah.
So it stands to stand, because he got a 19.
Alright.

(01:33:58):
Yeah. Okay. Guess what, Violet, it's your turn. What do you do?
Alright, well I'm going to pound down that potion.
To grow big as hell.
Yeah, I'm going to make myself huge.
Alright.
So now all rolls I make do three times the normal damage.

(01:34:20):
What does that do for your dexterity saves? Because you are in Web.
Alright, so let me read it. I found it.
It says you drink a potion, you become huge for 24 hours.
If you're medium or smaller, otherwise the potion does nothing.
For the duration, your strength becomes 25.
Oh, thank you.
Cheers, Boobert!

(01:34:41):
Your strength becomes 25 if it isn't already higher.
It's 17, so it will become 25.
And your hit point maximum is doubled of your current hit points.
In addition, when the reach of your melee attacks increase by five feet,

(01:35:03):
everything you are carrying, wearing also increases size.
When rolling damage for weapons enlarge in this manner, roll three times the normal number of dice.
For example, an enlarged sword would deal 3d8 slashing damage instead of 1d8 or 3d10 slashing damage instead of 1d10 when using two hands.

(01:35:24):
When the effect ends, any hit points you have above your maximum becomes temporary hit points.
This potion is a pale liquid made from nothing but dex.
Okay, so before you can move out of the web, even though you're huge, you gotta make a dexterity save.
Alright. Dexterity save, you said.

(01:35:46):
I think it's against his spells. I don't think it is.
Because as far as the restrain, I must make a dexterity saving throw. What did you get?
I got an eight.
But it says here on my saves it's supposed to get plus four.
But I didn't see it show up.

(01:36:07):
Alright. Remember you have one against three?
Oh, there we go. I got an 18 this time.
You also have a 1d8 bardic if you do want to use it from Reiner. Remember that.
Okay, yeah. But 18 goes through, right?
Yeah, 18 plus five is 23 it goes through. You are not. You like grow huge.

(01:36:30):
All huge and you just rip the webs.
Alright, and then I'm going to move on forward.
What's this guy? What's this? This the flaming sword night? Yeah.

(01:36:57):
Billy, that best not be you in there. That's all I bet.
I better say if it's you in there, I'm going to kick your ass two ways this Sunday.
But from here, I'd actually just like to punt that night like I'd like to just land a firm kick.

(01:37:25):
Like I'm 25 feet tall.
I'm there literally like he would. He's like, hey, literally not even half my size.
He comes up to my knee.
I'd like to attack you say.
I'd like to kick him right into the pillars if possible.
Cougar Slayer one just redeemed random item. Just sack of stupidity for Connor.

(01:37:52):
That's really funny. Hey, Cougar.
But I get to actually pick something for Connor out of this deck of many items.
I'm helping him shoving is a 5E mechanic.
Just to push someone you can shove by taking the attack action.

(01:38:13):
The characters that get extra attacks can attack with a weapon and shove.
You can only shove a creature that is no more than what? Yeah, that's fine.
The target must be within reach. Got it.
The shover must make an athletics check, but the shove E can make an athletics or acrobatics check.
It means the strength of the characters will likely want to do the things.
If you succeed, you can either move the creature five feet away from you or knock it prone.

(01:38:36):
Usually martial characters will opt for knocking enemies prone because then you get advantage on attacks.
So we're going to do an athletics. So prone just means I get it.
OK, so athletics, but it would be three times the amount of whatever I roll, correct?
Because it's technically strength. Yes.
All right, so that's a 15 times three. So that's 30 plus 15. Yeah, 45.

(01:39:02):
There's no way he's going to get he's got plus six to athletics.
He's going to get 45. That's a 19. OK, so you push him down.
Do you want to push him five feet back or push him to the ground?
I mean, I guess push him to the ground, I guess.

(01:39:25):
OK, it's prone in here.
Prone just means I get advantage, right? Like that. Yeah, you get advantage on attacks against him.
Yeah. All right. Yeah.
This does also count as an attack. It counts as an action.
All right. Well, in that case, what I would like to do in that case is since I'm knocking him to the ground,

(01:39:47):
I'm literally because I'm so tall, I'm walking up and I'm literally just putting my boot directly into his face and down to the ground.
Nice. Nice. Hey, yeah.
Hell yeah. OK.
Badass. So, hey, does that do damage to because I'm fucking huge.
It doesn't. You just push him to the ground. That's it.

(01:40:13):
All right. Fine. I'm going to continue talking to daddy.
But Billy, that best not be you in there because I'm going to stomp your head right through the ground.
She just made your flaming sword guy her bitch. Eat shit, wizard man.
Eat shit and die, motherfucker. That's it.
Because you're going to pay for all of your sins and transgressions today.

(01:40:37):
That's the thing about reciprocity. The curses take their form in the most beautiful ways.
And my curse, your curses are taking their form of me.
I'm coming for reciprocity for all that you have come against.
God damn. You move closer, you push him to the ground.

(01:40:58):
Now, everyone has advantage on attacks against him, which is pretty good.
Now it is the Hag's turn.
First off, the Hag is going to try to move out of the fire and towards Reiner.
But as they move out of the fire, they need to make a dexterity save.
Oh, my God, that was almost a one again. It's just tripping.

(01:41:21):
Dexterity. It's a 14. I do believe beats the fire.
Yeah, it's 14. Exactly.
And they're going to move forward to here just out of the cone and the fire and the web.
That's a perfect spot for them.
They're going to look directly at Reiner.
Excuse me.

(01:41:44):
Well, that's the thing. Ain't they the target point for the cone of silence?
So they're still quiet.
I think so. I think it moves with them.
As long as they are the quiet.
Has concentration, actually. That is so right.
So they move closer.
Listen, I'm not letting this bitch speak unless she's spoken to.

(01:42:07):
Oh, God. But now that means Reiner, you're in your own cone of silence.
Wait, it doesn't. It follows her. It's attached to her.
You say that you attached it to her.
Well, I said I fired it at her.
Well, I didn't know. I didn't know it attaches to do that to stay where it is or do you?

(01:42:33):
I thought that was like how it worked. I didn't know you could like attach, you know, sound.
We will do either.
Let me check it real quick. OK. All right.
I feel like certify. Yeah, there we go. Darkness moves. Silence does not certifiable.
Sick. Hell yeah.

(01:42:56):
That's good for me, baby.
What is this? Ultra-certifiable.
I do too.
Can I ask a question real quick about the witch? Yes. Is she immune to being charmed?

(01:43:21):
I don't actually know.
I mean, technically you had you had like you still have like advantage roles in her favor, right?
From like the last time.
I think but that's not exactly what I need to know. I just need to know if she's immune to being charmed.
Well, you do remember that you cannot be surprised. That's a thing.

(01:43:48):
Yeah, she can't be surprised.
OK. Well, she is going to cast.
Weirdly enough, she's just going to shoot a firebolt at you there, Reiner.
Is there a role for firebolt?

(01:44:09):
There is, yes. To hit?
I think so. Let me double check here.
Why is my O button not working? Fire.
There it goes.
I need to quit spilling beer on my keyboard.
He doesn't like it.

(01:44:33):
OK.
It is a ranged attack, yes.
OK. In that case, before you roll it, I'm going to do a reaction.
OK.
This is cutting words. As a reaction, when a creature that's not immune to being charmed, you can see within 60 feet makes an attack roll, ability check or damage roll.

(01:44:59):
You can expend one use of Vodic Inspiration, roll the die and subtract the number from the creature's roll.
Badass.
But I have to do it before knowing the result of the roll.
OK.
Cup that beer. Hell yeah, guys.
OK. Say what you're going to say and make that roll. Let's do it.

(01:45:20):
You're a stupid fucking bitch and nobody likes you. If I had an axe, then I would cut you in two.
F R E E. That spells free. Let me roll this one D8 from yours truly minus four.
What have you a roll minus four?

(01:45:43):
All right.
My computer doesn't like me. OK. Well, hey, this is a plus four, so we're just going to make it a flat roll.
Fireball.
Damn it. 18 18.
It does hit you. You're going to take.

(01:46:05):
2D10. Sir, Underscope, you've been used to reroll LL.
Shit. Shit. OK. Well, if it goes through, that's a five and a six. You'll take 11. Let me reroll it.
And it's only a six right now.

(01:46:27):
Yeah, because it was a plus four. It's minus four. It's flat. So it's a six. She shoots it out.
As you say that, she's like, she seems all confused and she like moves around her hands and she's like, God damn you, stupid undead knight on the stage.
Your performances are it's my weakness. I shall not have this. I shall.

(01:46:50):
I was back.
Question, where does she hit her fireball?
Just like past you. Oh, my God. The webs are flammable.
Holy shit. OK, hold on. I got to go back to webs real quick. Hold on.

(01:47:17):
Oh, my God. The webs are flammable. Any five foot cube of web exposed to fire burns away and around dealing 2D for fire damage to any creature that starts to serve in fire.
Hell yeah. Second couch coin, Reiner. Good shit. Cheers. Big Jim's like Pyro Club, baby.

(01:47:44):
So I take one D4 fire damage. You take 2D4 damage if you start your turn in that fire. So it's going to hit the ground here.
Let me redo this measurement here. OK, it's going to shrink this bad boy just a little bit. Oops. I don't want a new one. I want to adjust the old one.

(01:48:06):
It's cool that fire went exactly where like fireball was.
All right. Well, this whole corner is going to burn away in webs. That also means Trinket is also going to get it when she starts her turn in that fire of webs.
You and Trinket together. So you were smart, but not in a good way because that fucking sucks.

(01:48:32):
Well, at least we're not restrained. That was the main thing I was worried about. Oh, true. Huh? You don't get a role for that anymore.
Hello, everybody. Welcome back. It's Love, Death and Dice of Wild Beyond. This is here, the final act of the finale of the final episode of the Wild Beyond.
Can you all fucking believe it? Can you all fucking believe I can't believe we've made it this far? Can you believe us doing this? My goodness.

(01:48:58):
Four months of this dang campaign. How many color mics? I've just got pop filters, baby. It's all I've got.
So, man, thank you guys for joining us. We're right here in the middle of a battle, the final battle between Violet and her father, who has taken the throne of the Feywild and put Zablina in a statuesque cage, freezing her in time.

(01:49:22):
Our friends are here with the rest of the party fighting together to free the Feywild for all of its glory and save everyone to bring back happiness. Yes, we are.
We're at the top of the initiative round, which means it is Reiner's turn. The music commences. Reiner, what do you do?

(01:49:44):
Well, first, I have to take fire damage, right? You do. 2D4. Did you give him his item that he got? I didn't. I forgot. OK.
You. OK, before we do damage. It's Fishy. Hello, Fishy. Welcome in, good sir. Oh, Fishy. Our sweet little house. Feather token tree.

(01:50:15):
This tiny object looks like a feather. You must be outdoors to use this token.
You can use an action to touch it to an unoccupied space in the ground and the token disappears and in its place, a nonmagical tree springs into existence into a 60 foot tall tree.
Five foot diameter trunk and its branches at the top spread out in a 20 foot radius. It's a token that makes a tree. Qualls feather token tree.

(01:50:40):
And I can only do it out. That's what it says. Yeah, it's too bad we're not outside. I'd shove it down that fucking witch's throat.
That's exactly what I was thinking. So let me roll. That's the cantrip. Taventorks just redeemed cast a cantrip guidance.
A cantrip. Hell, yeah. Fishy. I feel Agdon. I feel Dr.

(01:51:05):
Hopps with us. I feel him. Here he is. My foundry is frozen.
I'm going to reset it, you guys, before we get back into battle. All right. Sounds good.
That gives me a second to do a thing. Dr.
Hopps is still here helping with guidance. I might lose my ear for a second.

(01:51:32):
Just so everybody knows. I'm going to see if I can't since my headphone I got on is dying. Oh, never mind. Oh, my God.
What the fuck happened? What happened?
Oh, no, I was going to see if the one headphone I had left would work, but I opened it and it looks like it also got damaged in the in the travel.

(01:51:57):
And so we're not going to worry about it. We're just going to hope me charging one headphone and then the other one.
So I'll have it long enough that things will go my way.
Break the roof and take me outside. I guess so.
So if you know way out of the tower, toss it in the window, climb down the tree. Smart.

(01:52:19):
Smart. All right. It's loading, friends. All right, Reiner, on your turn here, what do you do?
Did you roll the load? You're rolling me my damage first or after? I didn't roll it. I can do it after since we're still waiting.
Well, am I do I have to do the Dex thing? Hmm.

(01:52:42):
Because the webs burn up in flames.
OK. In that case.
Hmm. Really want to save.
So in this case, I'm going to do another Eldritch Blast right at the witch's face.

(01:53:04):
The hag? Yes, the hag.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Roll to this. This is going to be a count of two.
A little two like, oh, oh, hits for us. Blast to the face.
Sick. Fucking badass.
Oh, critical failure.

(01:53:27):
Yeah, he had to reset it. So you just have to refresh it. That's fine. Oh, I'll try.
Uh oh.
Blast! Sorry.
You've said the magical word.

(01:53:49):
You received one single. Foundry is still gray, but I'll see if the roll will transfer over.
OK. Doing on D&D Beyond.
My D&D Beyond.
Uh, so shit. Do roll.
I should just be able to click on it.
And it rolls, but it.

(01:54:12):
Hmm.
I don't know what's going on with Foundry, you guys. It's just gray.
OK, well, this is a. Any tips, chat?
Reseted again?
Are we just going off of Honesty's end?
Yeah, I think so. Oh, here it comes.

(01:54:35):
Here it comes. If I start saying I have natural 20s, you know I'm lying.
Oh, yes, mine is loading now.
Yay.
OK, here we go.
Eldritch Blast. Here's the first one.
Hiya.
Plus seven. So that is a 18 to hit.

(01:54:59):
That'll do it.
And barely the second one.
That is a 17 to hit.
That'll do it. Just barely.
So now we are doing 2D10.
2D10.

(01:55:22):
Yeah.
This is the 15.
Hell yeah.
15 damage.
You shoot out your lasers from your crotch.
And it hits the hag and she goes.
Now that I'm out of the cone of silence right now.

(01:55:45):
How did you like it when I turned your beloved into a puppet?
Oh, you know what's crazy about that?
I didn't love it. And now I'm going to do a fate worse to you than being a puppet.
I'm going to kill your ass.
By the way, owl bear.
Fuck that bird up and get over here.

(01:56:11):
I mean Pete Townsend.
Finish fucking that bird up.
And get over here.
He's going to do another multi attack and he's going to do his beak attack again at the cockatrice.
The bitch ass bird.
Let's attract this first.

(01:56:34):
Killing this.
Is that 70?
Oh.
Okay.
Good.
Right.
Roll to hit right now.
This is a plus seven to hit.

(01:56:55):
Hell yeah.
And that's an eight. Math.
15?
And it has an 11 that hits.
Sweet.
This does 1d10 plus five.
Eat shit.
So Pete Townsend grabs the neck of the cockatrice.

(01:57:22):
And Pete Townsend, the owl bear, he says in animal speak, you can kind of hear it.
What does it say?
Yeah, he goes.
Who are you?
Sure.
I really want to know.
And then he bites the head off of the cockatrice and he's munching and he goes cool.

(01:57:49):
That's very cool.
Very cool.
Yes, very cool.
And then he turns and he sees you and he goes, what do you want?
What do you want from me?
I go, Pete Townsend, sick balls.
And he's going to run across.

(01:58:14):
Oh shit, I can't grab him.
He's going to run across straight towards the witch.
And luckily, because your lovely paladin friend knocked the knight down, there's no attack
of opportunity here.
But Agdon's still on the back, so he follows.

(01:58:35):
And he already knows what I meant by Pete Townsend's sick balls.
He's going to do a claw attack against the hag.
Nice.
Badass.
This is also plus seven to hit.
17.

(01:58:56):
Nice.
And I also do want to tell you, Pete Townsend moved into the Cone of Silence also into the
web.
So on Pete Townsend's next turn, he's going to have to make a deck save.
Although this circle has gotten smaller because of the fire, it is still a big circle.

(01:59:17):
I just don't know how to make it smaller.
Maybe I can just delete it and start over.
Yeah, that's what we'll do.
It is only 15 feet now.
Oh, so maybe he wants to put it in the center.

(01:59:38):
Maybe not.
You're good.
Okay.
All right.
Cool.
All right.
Now, what was his damage?
17 hits.
I haven't rolled the damage yet.
This is 2d8 plus five.

(02:00:00):
So as this comes out, two is 16.
Fuck.
Hey, Wolfcaller.
What's up, dude?
Thanks for the follow.
Cheers, bud.
Thank you.

(02:00:22):
All right.
He grabs at her feet, trying to grab at her balls, but she doesn't have balls.
She's got a weird stomach of weird hag-like features, lots of different materials and
a huge black address.
He doesn't know where to grab, so he grabs at her feet and bites at her ankles, and she
goes, stupid our bear.
And he goes, who are you?

(02:00:47):
I really want to know.
Okay.
Next in the initiative order is Trinket.
What does Trinket do?
Also, what is the duration on the flame turret?
I do need to know that.
I don't think he had one.
It's just like a concentration kind of deal?
Yeah, but check for me.
It didn't say.

(02:01:08):
Let me get back up here.
Okay.
All right.
Eldritch cannon.
The top, it might say, some kind of duration.
It can also look it up as well.

(02:01:29):
Oh, here we go.
I'm going to go with the standard version.
Type one action, feet.
No, I'm not.
It doesn't say anything.
There's a box that says limited use that says like a tick next to it, but it doesn't say,
it doesn't have a timeframe.
Okay.
I expect her to make the owl bear turn around and throw out a pair of shades.

(02:01:52):
Okay.
I guess it's permanently there then.
That's cool.
I'm cool with that.
And it can walk 15 feet at a time.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Well, what does she do?
All right.
Well, since let's have the turret walk towards daddy.

(02:02:13):
Okay.
No, you know what?
No.
No.
Don't do that.
Have the turret turn around because I can't get it to work.
Oh, wait, it just came up.
Nevermind.
Oh, fuck.
Nevermind.
It went gray again.
It was up for a second.
You're going to turn around?

(02:02:35):
Yeah.
Have it turn around and go one diagonal to behind it, like down.
Let me do this first.
This will make it easier and then I'll move it.
15 feet.

(02:02:57):
Yeah.
And I want to aim back at the hag again.
Okay.
Just still blowing fire.
Hell yeah, dude.
Fucking badass.
Can I delete this?
Thank you.

(02:03:20):
It's going to fuck up Pete Townsend.
Well, I mean, it's got the witch in the way though, right?
Barely.
Barely.
I could take it, but I don't want to.
All right.
I don't want to.
Can we put it next to Pete Townsend so it just scuttles up next to him and then aims down?

(02:03:45):
Sure.
Yeah.
She hasn't.
I was like, Trinket's going to move.
It's also her turn.
She's going to move.
Okay.
Oh, it is also her turn too, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just moving it first.
All right.

(02:04:06):
That's cool.
All right.
Yeah.
So she has to roll a save.
It has to get.
God, where's all this shit?
She doesn't actually roll a save.
She just starts her turn and fire.
So she's going to take fire damage, but she takes two less.
And also, Reiner takes this damage as well.
Reiner takes five.

(02:04:27):
She takes two rounded down.
She takes two damage from the fire.
All right.
All right.
All right.
So the.
This is Foundry Wolf.
Hell yeah, dude.
It's cool.
It actually just crashed on us, but it's cool.
Oh my God.

(02:04:48):
Can I see finally?
Oh my God.
I can finally see.
There we go.
Okay.
And then I'm going to have Trinket.
I can't.
Why can't I move her?
All right.
But I want.
I want.

(02:05:09):
All right.
Thank you.
I would like actually.
I would like Trinket to move over here.
I know they got to.
She's got Trinket and.
Star have to do deck saves.
Right.
Yeah.
To move through all the web.
All right.
So Trinket got a 14.
That saves.
She's good.
All right.

(02:05:30):
And then.
And then you said.
The Displacer Beast gets a plus two now.
So that'd be a 19.
Nice.
They save where they move into.
Yeah.
They're going to move.
If we can.
If it's within the range, I'd like to move in that little square.
Come back over here.

(02:05:52):
Cool.
Right around top of each other.
Yeah.
They got 30 feet and each square is only five.
So all right.
Yeah.
So I mean if we can move them both out of the webs.
Beautiful.
All right.
And then for Trinket's actual.

(02:06:13):
It's my audio out of sync.
If I cover my mouth, does that make it easier for y'all?
Now y'all can't tell that it's out of sync, right?
What am I saying?
For Trinket's actual like.
Move though.
She would like.

(02:06:35):
To point a finger.
At the night on the ground.
And use hellish rebuke.
Hellish rebuke works whenever someone attacks her.
It's like a.
OK.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Never mind then.
Yeah.
Well in that case, you're going to whip out a little crossbow and she's going to try to

(02:06:57):
shoot that week that hag from across the room then.
She will do it at disadvantage because she's attacking through friends.
Oh fair enough.
Never mind.
I don't know what to do with her then.
Don't worry about my audio system.
Just love the sounds of my voice.
That's all you got to do.
But she could attack the night with the crossbow.

(02:07:19):
That's cool.
Don't worry.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
Yeah.
Let's take the night with the crossbow.
Let's do that.
I will be speaking.
All right.
Give me a second.
All right.
And that's Dex, right?
Mm hmm.
Yes.
Oh well fuck me.
That's a four.

(02:07:40):
But she gets advantage because he's on the floor.
Nice.
Does your bardic work with attacks as well?
I think guidance does.
Which guidance?
You can give guidance to everybody.
That's a 14 this time.
Let me see.
That misses.
So you can use the bardic and you can use the guidance.

(02:08:03):
Which is a D8.
My bardic works for ability check, attack, roll, saving throw.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
So that's a D6.
D8.
D8.
All right.
Nice.
Plus six.
Okay.
So 13 plus six.
All right.
That's a dirty 20, baby.
That hits.

(02:08:24):
Let's go.
Hey, we'll take it.
All right.
I got.
Steven.
Steven damage.
Hell yeah.
Oh, also it's at advantage because he's on the ground, but we don't get to worry about
that.
Yeah.

(02:08:45):
71.
I'll do it.
Okay.
That ends the intrigant and the little displacer beast turn.
And it is Agdon.
I mean, he's within swiping distance of the head.
Can he, can he stay up the hag from the, from the owl bear?
Can he day or the.

(02:09:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
Plus seven.
That's a nine.
He misses.
He goes, God damn it.
Oh, you said you were fast.
I am fast.
No face.
Now your father's turn.

(02:09:29):
Good.
Good.
Your father, tiny compared to you now.
It's right up on you.
And he looks up at you and he goes,
My how you've grown.
My daughter,

(02:09:52):
My daughter, you've become so powerful.
You stepping on my death night.
He whimpers.
He is shameful.
To the power that I bring to the Feywild.

(02:10:15):
I will transform it.
The darkness, my daughter.
It will take over.
The Feywild will take over all of intoxicant.
The creatures.
We will win.
And he looks at the death night and he says,
You are a disgrace.

(02:10:37):
And he snaps his finger.
And then the shadow disappears.
And all that's left on the ground is armor and the flaming sword.
Can I pick up that flaming sword?
I know it's not my turn.
Not yet.
And he looks at you and he goes,

(02:10:58):
I don't need these things to protect me.
My daughter, you will protect me.
Seems to me you've gotten your smarts back.
And?

(02:11:19):
This is good.
You were the smartest of the litter.
Of all the children I had,
I was trying to start a dynasty.
You, Violet, your sister,
Turquoise,
and all of your friends.
And he looks over at Trinket across from you and he goes,

(02:11:43):
Come now, Turquoise.
Your father commands you.
Join me.
You will be my next heir.
I would like you to make a wisdom check for Trinket for me.

(02:12:04):
Dude, awakens her like a fucking sleeper agent.
Why isn't that doing it right?
That's a five.
Hold on.
It's not rolling with the plus two.
It's not doing like the addition onto it for some reason.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
That's okay.
She has a plus two, so that's a seven.

(02:12:27):
You can see a little bit of a change in Trinket's demeanor.
And she looks across and,
did I push something?
I don't know what I did.
But she looks across and she says,
Does Trinket not still have bardic inspiration?

(02:12:49):
She does.
Advantage or disadvantage?
Certifiable underscore no just redeemed advantage.
Trinket.
We got 15.
With advantage plus the bardic.
All right.
So we got 15 and then we'll do the plus eight.
You see it?

(02:13:11):
Plus or minus one.
Frog toys to just redeem plus one.
Trinket.
Chat loves Trinket.
21 plus the plus ones so 22.
Okay.
She looks your dad square in the face.
And she says,

(02:13:33):
You follow my sister?
My sister Violet would be a better queen than you.
She says you left us.
And he goes,
Only for the love of our family.
I had to do it.
But look at you.
You're so strong.
Love of our.
Oh shut your fucking mouth.

(02:13:55):
For the love of our family for your own personal gain.
You useless whelp of a human being.
You useless whelp of a tiefling.
And Trinket follows suit.
And she goes,
Yeah.
She helped me.
When no one else was there.
She did.
And where were you?

(02:14:17):
And he goes,
Well I was here.
Awaiting you.
You are strong enough.
You've made it here.
She's like,
I'll bet you sold her off to get rid of some of your debts just like the rest of us.
He turns.
He looks at you directly up in the eyes.
He's like,
Debts.
Never debts.

(02:14:39):
All the debts were planned.
My ideas and my plans were calculated.
I've made it here, haven't I?
And you'll die here.
Fucking savage.
He goes,
Fine.
Then blood will rain.

(02:15:02):
If I must prove myself to my two powerful daughters then I will.
And he swings his staff around and slams it on the ground.
Goes up in like this bluish like purpley flame.
He's gonna use some magic.
Yes.
First of all, he begins to float.

(02:15:26):
He gains a flying speed of 60 feet for the duration.
It is concentration.
He begins to float above at your level.
And then he looks directly over at Trinket.
And casts another sorcerer's bolt right at her.
It's a plus six to hit.

(02:15:49):
Hold on, I'm doing math.
Okay.
Well good anyway because that was only an eight.
So he fires it and misses.
Good.
I would just like to put it out there real quick.
I have 148 hit points.
Jesus.
Because you're fucking huge, huh?
Good luck.

(02:16:10):
Yeah.
Alright.
Well, that ends his dialogue.
That ends his turn and now it's your turn, Violet.
What do you do?
Perfect.
I would like to take out my sweet baby sword of vengeance.
And I would like to grab my father by the neck at the same time.

(02:16:33):
I'd stab right through his belly.
I know it's not going to do that much.
But listen, we're going to get that strike in.
We're going to grab him.
And I'm going to look at my sword of vengeance and be like,
this is what we work for.
This is why I let you keep your voice.
Because we're going to take daddy down together.
The sword of vengeance?

(02:16:55):
I forgot about the sword of vengeance.
It's like, yeah, man, dude, sick, bro.
Together, man, we're going to take out your dad, bro.
Fuck him, dude.
If that sword had a penis, it would be very erect right now.
I told him I would let him keep his voice if he just chilled out a little bit
about cutting my dad's dick off and eating it.

(02:17:17):
You know, I told him.
Can we cut your dad's dick off?
Let me eat it.
Come on.
I'll let you eat it, so I'm not touching it.
Sick.
All right.
If you want to actually grapple, we're going to have to do a grapple.
But if you're just doing it for the sake of doing it,
just roll the hit with the sword of vengeance.
Let me know.
All right.

(02:17:39):
So it's a 15.
OK, does that hit your dad's AC?
It does.
That hits.
Roll me some damage.
Perfect.
All right, and then this is going to be times three of whatever it is.
Oh, fuck.
So eight times three is 24.

(02:18:01):
He stabbed directly through him.
He's like, my daughter is so strong.
Your sword, it burns.
Good.
It burns so good.
I hope it eats you from the inside, you useless sack of tiefling.
Oh, we will.

(02:18:22):
We will.
If we cannot take the Feywild, my daughter, come with me back to Avernus.
We will rule the nine hells together.
I already have my path lit ahead of me, and it is to see you put in the ground
where you deserve to rot for all eternity.

(02:18:43):
The sword just sticks out of him.
And then to find vengeance for all of my siblings, setting them free from
whatever you have sold them for and helping all the children of the land.
I am the savior of children.
Be my heir, and I can show you where your siblings are.

(02:19:05):
I think I'll be able to find them just fine.
Okay.
All right, well, moving on.
It is now the hag's turn.
The hag has to make a dex save.
Oh, I should have done Fire Damage.
Shit, Certifiable Nerd, you made me remember about Divine Smite,
but we won't worry about it.

(02:19:27):
I forgot about it.
I won't do it.
It's fine.
I forgot about it.
Imagine how much damage that would have been.
Well, you may have one more turn.
So first, the hag makes a dex save against the fire and fails.
It is what?
2d8 for the turret.
Speak to the Dead is a wonderful spell.
Soon he's on to something.

(02:19:48):
He's on to something.
Yeah, don't you?
Do you have two attacks?
Did I skip fast forward too fast?
I don't know.
Do I have two attacks?
I think you do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, well, shit.
Then I'll do another attack with Divine Smite.
Okay, let me roll the hag's damage real quick.

(02:20:09):
Because I was already on it.
Oh, yeah.
No, I got an extra attack.
I can attack twice instead of once whenever you take.
Yeah, so I can attack twice.
But Certifiable, can I tell you how wonderful you are for knowing the rules so well?
My goodness.
Thank you.
Thank you for everything you do.

(02:20:31):
We love the lad.
We love him.
Okay.
What do you do?
You're going to use the Vorpal Sword?
Use the Vorpal Sword.
Yeah, I'm going to use both of them.
I'm going to use my Sword of Vengeance and my Vorpal Sword.
You get one attack.
I can do two-handed attack though.
Oh, yeah, okay.
All right.

(02:20:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Left-handed attack.
She doesn't get your bonuses.
All right.
And then, so we're going to do...
All right.
So I still roll for both of them or just one of them?
You still roll to hit with both, but only one of them gets your bonuses, like your plus
five strength or whatever it is.

(02:21:14):
All right, so I got an 18.
That hits.
And sort of...
Oh, that was the wrong sword.
It's fine.
And the second one, the seven, misses.
So you've got one hit.
Oh, that's okay.
I rolled the wrong sword.
That's okay.
It's all right.
I rolled the Sword of Wounding instead of the Vorpal Sword.
That's okay.
I still have the...

(02:21:35):
And the question...
Actually, can we just add three onto that last one, the 13?
Because technically with the Vorpal Sword, it's a plus nine.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Because it was a...
Yeah, so it would have been a 16.
That's cool.
That hits.
Absolutely.
All right.
Wait, wait, wait.
16.

(02:21:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That hits.
Cool.
What's your question, Connor?
For that potion, does the equipment you have grow as well or does it always become like
daggers?
No, they're all huge.
Oh, it grows.
It grows.
They're like toothpicks that you just like stabbing into things.

(02:22:20):
And then I'm also along with that because thank God for Certifiable Nerd, I'm also gonna
use Divine Smite along with it.
Can I say something real quick before you use Divine Smite?
Mike says, rooting for your players.
We'll give them the rules.
It's like this coolest thing.
I don't know if you ever heard me talk about it and rant about it, but playing for your

(02:22:43):
players, I love to put them up against really difficult challenges and then see them succeed.
It's such a cool thing, especially because these two fuckheads down here are super creative,
and it's so fun to see them do cool shit.
So yeah, my challenges are fine, but seeing them overcome them is what I live for.
It makes for such a good story.
So that's what I'm all about.

(02:23:04):
So I really appreciate you saying that there, Mike.
Appreciate that.
All right, Smite time.
What do you got?
All right, so I'm gonna do Divine Smite along with it.
So I roll for the Sword of Engines.
Yes.
So that's five times three, that's a 15.

(02:23:29):
And then the Vorpal Sword.
Do the thing.
Thank you.
It's a 13.
So 13 times three.
I can't do math in my head.
That's a nine.
Thirty?
That's a 39 plus the 15.

(02:23:55):
And then plus three D8s of damage as well from the Divine Smite, which is an extra 16 damage.
Times three.
Oh, times three.
So that's another a lot.

(02:24:16):
18 plus 48.
So almost a hundred damage.
Yay.
Almost.
All right.
You strike at your father.
As you're grabbing him by the neck and he goes, my daughter, no.

(02:24:39):
And you're just stabbing the shit out of him.
And he's starting to bleed out as the smite hits him and he goes up into flames.
In your God, Gano, you hear him and he's like speaking to you and he's like, vengeance must
be had against this wrongful doer, my child.

(02:25:00):
Finish him.
Reap the rewards and complete your godly quest.
And in this moment, you hold your father and as the light is draining from his eyes, your
sword sticking directly through his stomach.
How do you finish him?
What do you say?
Describe it for us.

(02:25:21):
All right.
So I am going to have my sword.
So I have I've been slicing at him with the Vorpal sword.
I've gone for each one of his limbs.
He is just a floating stump in the sky using his flight.

(02:25:42):
And I have taken the sword of vengeance and I have I drove it up through his abdomen into
his lungs and I am going to use it like a lever and I'm going to wrench it upwards,
the laying him open.
You took my childhood from me and all of my siblings leaving us to waste, not to make

(02:26:09):
a better dynasty, but because you feared each and every one of us from coming to take from
your self-righteous jealousy and fucking abdication.
And I will be the savior of the Femmes family and I will do right everything you have done

(02:26:29):
wrong.
And I take pride in seeing your lifeless husk fall to this floor so you may never darken
a doorstep again.
It's like blood coming out of his mouth as he's split open and his limbs are gone and
he just looks at you and he's like, you have done well.

(02:26:57):
Rotten hail dirtbag.
And he just dies, separates on the ground.
Yeah, and then you feel a righteous glowing from your God and it just fills you up from

(02:27:22):
the inside and it's like you have done well.
Seek vengeance on those who have done wrong.
My child, go forth and finish your mission.
Thank you my lord for granting me the strength to finish out my ambitions.

(02:27:43):
Hell yeah.
Rotten hail dirtbag.
Gosh.
But it's not over.
The hag looks at you Reiner.
It's the hag's turn and the hag's like, I'm going to get free from here.

(02:28:06):
My king may be dead and my sisters may be dead, but I will leave this place and I will
find Selena and make her my puppet once more.

(02:28:30):
It's not going to happen.
Nope.
Nope.
Not going to happen.
You look crazy.
You link hands and you're transported to a different plane of existence.
You can specify a target destination in general terms and you can go there.
Alternatively, if you have the sigil of sequence and the teleportation circle, whatever, you

(02:28:50):
can use this spell to banish an unwilling creature to a plane, et cetera, et cetera.
The hag says that to you and the hag used plane shift.
Twirls around its hand and moves forward away from you.
I'm going to give you one final opportunity attack against Indalyn Moongrade.

(02:29:15):
Wait, does she have to roll for this?
No.
God damn it.
I don't think so.
I'm going to use it.
Use this spell to banish it only if it's an unwilling creature, but it's not.
What do you mean?

(02:29:38):
Wait, wait, wait.
She's banishing me.
Imahera just redeemed chaos card.
Violet.
Hold on.
Who's this targeted?
Is it me?
Oh, she's moving herself.
She's escaping.
Again.
Well, is it me that has the opportunity attack or is it the owl bear?

(02:30:03):
It's you.
I guess and Pete Townsend.
Yeah, because she's moving away.
So both of you.
And Agdon.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, in this case, I'm going to try and do as much damage as I possibly can.
And the only way I can think of doing that is using my opportunity attack to help Pete
Townsend.

(02:30:23):
So, okay, let me know if this works out for you.
I'm going to sing a song real quick.
Okay.
That didn't work the way I wanted it to.
I'm going to reroll.
Well, then let me grab Violet's card real quick.

(02:30:48):
Vertical flip.
Vertical flip your camera for 1D6 minutes.
All right.
Fair enough.
All right, my friend.
I'm on it.
What do you do?
Well, hopefully I don't do this and you don't like it, but I'm going to use my opportunity
attack to do this.
Okay.

(02:31:08):
You can try to leave this place if you dare, but you're going to have to deal with a big
pissed off owl bear bitch.
And then I'm going to cast enlarge on Pete Townsend.
What the fuck?

(02:31:32):
Which this will break my concentration on the silence cone thing.
My nobody's using it anymore.
I can ride Pete Townsend.
Okay.

(02:31:52):
God damn.
And then Pete Townsend is going to multi attack.
Triple damage.
He's going to do his, his beak.
He's going, I don't know.
First he'll do his claw.
He'll, he'll swipe at the witch and this is plus seven to hit.

(02:32:15):
Okay.
Oh shit.
It's only a 12 that misses his body.
Inspiration.
Hey, so plus to four only makes it a 16 that still misses.

(02:32:37):
And let's chat.
This needs to hit.
You've gotten a couch coin tonight.
Oh yes.
Let me re roll for Pete Townsend.
Yes.
Plus or minus one certifiable underscore nerd.
Just redeemed plus one plus six plus four.

(02:32:59):
So that's a 17 17, but you got to reroll from Sunni.
It came in late, but it's still council that does hit, but now you have to reroll it.
The double zero Amlous just redeemed plus one plus one Pete.
So we're still at 17.

(02:33:22):
You're at 16.
I believe seven plus four plus one is 12 plus four 16 plus the one from Tyler makes it 17,
which means it hits minus one.
Just redeemed plus one plus.
So did Steve.

(02:33:43):
All right.
So this is two D eight plus five times three, right?
Which of law just redeemed plus one.
Hurrah.
Two D eight times plus five times three.
Fuck yeah.
Uh, whatever that is.
Three 13 39 24.
That's 50.

(02:34:07):
Four damage.
54.
54.
So, uh, we need something better.
This yeah.
I had this, he reaches out, he grows huge from your song and he looks at you and he
goes, this is cool.

(02:34:31):
Yes.
This is cool.
This is cool.
And he grabs the hag by her neck and rips her around and spits her out on the ground
and he goes, that was cool.
That was cool.
Cheers.

(02:34:51):
But that was cool.
She only had 51 health.
So that killed her.
It's damn right.
Cool.
I'm also going to command Pete Townsend to claw her again while she's on the ground.
That's right.
Overkill, baby.
Overkill.
Okay.
Also, I'm back to normal now.

(02:35:14):
Damn it, Pete Townsend.
You could reflip yourself now.
I think it's been.
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
I'm reflipping myself.
He just claws at the ground.
Just fucking her up.
Um, I need one thing.
Hold on.

(02:35:34):
Give me just a second.
Oh no, my die no damage.
Oh, I would have advantage because she's pro.
Technically, she's a dead body.
Okay, yes.
Plus seven to hit.
So that's like 23.
Definitely hits.
He's just fucking her up in the corner.
Um, and then.

(02:35:56):
Eat her out.
Whatever.
Damage doesn't matter, but I want her to be reduced to dust.
He keeps fucking blood all over the place.
Fucking I chest bursted my dad.
We're turning this this fucking hag to dust.
That's what's happening.
I ain't me and Ryan are here to play.
We're here to get vengeance.

(02:36:17):
All right.
Here we go.
Restart that.
Anyway, so I started thrusting.
As the hag gets burst into blood and blood spurt and everywhere.

(02:36:37):
The curse is lifted and magic swirls in this area.
You're in.
You sheath your swords.
You look up to see this huge ceiling of just magic.
The windows burst out.

(02:36:58):
Then magic swirls out the window.
Comes back in and glass rains down.
It swirls around all of the statues you guys are standing amongst and the statue in the
center of the elf holding her short sword.
It swirls around her first and she falls to a knee.
A person no longer a statue.

(02:37:19):
All of the other statues begin to come to life one by one.
People from all over the Feywild, other Yarls and leaders, pixies, fairies, centaurs, you
name it.
All of them coming back to life as if frozen in time by this magic that the hags and your
father put upon them.

(02:37:41):
Sablina stands up strong.
The elf with the short sword and puts her sword back in her sheath.
She looks over to you covered in blood sheathing your sword and she goes, 25 feet tall.
What is this?

(02:38:05):
As the queen of the Feywild I demand you tell me what is going on.
Well you lovely queen and I curtsy and almost fall over because I, you know, new legs almost
lost my balance.
And like well we just saved you from the evil clutches of some tiefling asshole.

(02:38:27):
Deadbeat dad.
And you know the hags.
We killed all the hags for you.
We were sent by a madrick to check on you and found the Feywild in an awful state taken
on by hags.
And I guess my father.
And we wanted to put things right to get you back on the throne.

(02:38:52):
She nods thoughtfully but strong.
She stands tall.
She looks at you both and she says my home was in danger.
This place.
This place that I lead, this place that I want to succeed and you two saved it.

(02:39:16):
Please I must knight thee immediately.
Knights of the weird wild.
And then one of the statues comes around.
She goes my brother.
Timmy Pickles first knight of the weird will knight thee.

(02:39:38):
And this man in a leather chest piece and bunny ears pulls out his sword.
He steps forward and his tiny little toothpick sword touches your shoulder violet.
And then his sword touches you Ryder.
He's like knights.
Wait I have a request.

(02:40:01):
Please knight tell me your name and then make your request.
I am Reiner van Ritter.
That's the Ritter clan.
And I would like to be either like a duke or an earl or I think in my village we call
it hair.
I can be hair Reiner.

(02:40:22):
Whoa.
And Ritter.
Whoa.
Hair seems.
I don't know about earl.
So I'll be earl or duke.
I like duke.
You can make me duke of my village.
Yeah.
One final charisma check Reiner.
As a bard persuasion.
Let's do it.

(02:40:45):
Plus 10.
This is 17.
Shit.
She goes sir I do believe knight will do you well.
You may be able to work up to duke if you stay here in the palace of haunts desire and

(02:41:05):
deem yourself worthy.
The hags for a long time have been trying to take my throne.
And it seems that your tiefling father as you said made that possible for them.
I will be sending my best to figure out maybe how and who he worked with to make this happen.

(02:41:32):
But there are bigger things on the table.
There is a darkness to be dealt with.
There is still evil in the Feywild that must be cleared out.
If you will stay I will have you fight with me.
We will clear the Feywild together.
Thank you sir.
I will be honored your majesty but I still have a path that I need to take.

(02:41:58):
There are many children that were taken by the hags and I must sort them out first.
It is my duty to protect them and to make sure that they get what's right by them.
I need to protect the children.
Respectable.
The children of the Fey must grow because they are our next generation.

(02:42:20):
As a knight I may call on you for a favor here and there but for now please go and if
you need anything let us know because we will provide.
My village needs more wine and lubrication.
You've got it.
I'm pretty sure the snail trail that Selene is going to be leaving is going to be more

(02:42:43):
than enough.
Oh yes nobody must disturb me for an entire week.
Please please please.
I hate that term.
Snail trail.
Not a fan.
Not in the throne room please.
What is your take on sexathon?
Because that is what I am doing when I get home.
Well congratulations sir.
I hope you and your lovely lady are very happy.

(02:43:05):
Oh yes I'm going to be a regular old Scrooge McFuck.
Oh geez all right.
Trinket are you ready to go sweetheart?
She goes yeah.
We killed our dad.
Let's get out of here.
Well he's sure dead.
She's like knights I have work to attend to.

(02:43:26):
I will be cleaning the Feywild and helping return it to its former glory.
Please take a break.
Make sure you get in touch with Madrick.
Yes I must check in with my people to see what I've missed.
How long I was frozen I don't know.
But I have time.
I need to figure this out.
Thank you both.

(02:43:48):
She sits on her throne.
She begins talking to some people that have now gathered amongst.
They've seen the magic burst open the windows.
They know what's going on and they've scattered into the throne room.
Like as if they were hiding away in the palace of hearts desire away from this new person.

(02:44:09):
You two step out of the palace.
Step down the stairs and walk through the garden back to the carnival.
At this moment you guys things have been tied.
Things have been finished.
It is up to you both one by one to tell me what's happening next for your character.

(02:44:31):
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
We may do a couple more dice rolls here.
But I would like you both to roll.
We have to return something first.
Indeed and well we'll say that that happens as long as you say you do.
But I would like you both to roll me initiative to see who gets to go first on this final
explanation here.
I'm about to.
Well done.
Hell yeah Mike.

(02:44:52):
19.
Alright.
You get to go first.
Alright so obviously return the unicorn his horn so he can stop being a horse.
But I actually I plan on trying to convince the carnival to stick around just a few extra

(02:45:16):
days.
And I'm going to skedaddle my way back to the center of the Feywild where the tree ant
full of children is.
And I'm going to bring it back to the carnival.
So those kids can lead a happy life while we find essentially as we travel through the
Feywild and Toxica return those children to their homes or their families or get vengeance

(02:45:42):
if they got a fucked up situation like I do.
And essentially become a guardian that follows and get follows the carnival but stays you
know with people that I know I love cherish and can you know trust but also taking care
of the children of the Feywild.

(02:46:02):
So there was a army that was helping to take care of those children.
What do you say to them?
Well they left remember.
No they left.
They they were heading here to the heart's desire.
True.
Very true.
Okay.
Fair enough.
Any other details?
Um I imagine she's tracked down even more of her siblings.

(02:46:25):
She's still looking for him as she goes.
Um and.
I had planned for all of your siblings to be named after a weird color like trinket's
birth name is turquoise your violet etc.
Your daffodil and umber and yeah and sienna.

(02:46:50):
Yep.
fit browned.
Yeah indigo.
Unfortunate.
Blood.
Blood and stool crimson.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Baby shit crimson.
Reiner?
What say you?
Oh it's my turn.
Well as I walk my way back to the village the whole way I've enlarged a certain part of

(02:47:17):
my body so I'm kind of walking in a tripod fashion as I'm going there.
I hate this.
Put pants on.
No I refuse.
I'm using these legs and as I get there you know.
The head of your dick's just calloused from walking.
You put a shoe on it or what?
Like what's going on?
Uh sure I put a shoe on it and um actually no on the end of it I have tied a tiny little

(02:47:43):
box and as I get to my village Selena is there and I present the box to her.
It's inside is a wedding ring and.
Oh cute.
And then and then you know uh we have we have the wedding at the village you know.

(02:48:05):
Slip the ring on the finger you know she slips her ring on my big finger and then um we we
go you know to my house with all the money in it and then you know the camera kind of
like slowly zooms out as you just hear coins shaking.

(02:48:26):
Keep the bear to prop.
Scrooge McFuck.
Alright gotcha.
You're welcome friends Scrooge McFuck.
Take it home with you.
Yeah and that's how how right a story is.
Goddamn.

(02:48:48):
Goddamn.
Okay any other additions?
No.
Now that the Palace of Hearts desire has been returned and Zablina and her brother Timmy
Pickles are returned to normal fashion they do their best to return the wild beyond to

(02:49:09):
its normal whimsical way and they start building an army to fight against this unknown darkness
that they don't know what to do with.
Um yes they also try to track down other demons and fighters from Avernus and the nine hells
that were related to your father to try and get rid of them one by one because they've

(02:49:30):
all infested the Feywild in different areas.
Back in the homeland Hopps dear guardian has passed and he left his home and all of his
other things to Hopps including a lot of gold and some magical items and let Hopps help
with the church.

(02:49:51):
It's kind of what happens in that situation.
And that my friends is the end of our story.
The end of LD&D the wild beyond.
Cheers everybody.
Cheers.
Now what's next for us?

(02:50:17):
I don't fucking know.
Well actually I do know.
We've got a lot of shit planned.
It's going to be extremely fun.
Next week we will be doing a post campaign talk about these characters, about this world,
about everything that happened this campaign, things we like, things we didn't like.
We're going to be answering questions, taking questions from y'all, asking talking shit
to each other.
It's going to be a short stream but we're going to be doing that next Sunday.
All right that's our plan.

(02:50:38):
And then the following Sunday we will be doing a fundraiser kind of like a sub-a-thon crazy
ass stream with our brand new guest player right here on the show.
The following Sunday we're going to be doing a fundraiser to raise things and funds for
our next campaign.
There will be an Amazon registry for you guys to help pick us up some costume pieces and
other kinds of things we might need.

(02:50:58):
So please tune in if you want to help support the show and just get involved in that way.
We have a big metal fucking kick ass campaign planned for our next campaign here on LD&D
on Sunday.
It's going to be fucking sick.
It's going to be super, super sick.
Hey save them questions my friends for next Sunday.

(02:51:19):
That's right.
So we won't be doing a short rest tonight.
We are actually just going to get out of here.
But I do want to say I appreciate y'all for joining us.
You guys fucking rock.
It's the final credits of the campaign baby.
Oh there it is.
Hell yeah.
Cheers you love the fucking heroes.

(02:51:42):
Part of the Cowboys crew.
Followers from Wolf Collar.
Wolf Collar you weren't following?
K Kandon.
I can't read these.
Elder Brook, WS Goody, Subscribers and Resub, Moby, Pluy, Brianna, Psycho Staff, Marlene,
O.F., something, Kandon, Shugon, Cougar Slayer, Another World Tabletop, Ms. Lane, oh my god,

(02:52:15):
Storm, Shaken, Jack, Super Dog, James, Shaun of the Dead, Prince Rivers, Suni Mahara, Cheers
from another world big James Slayer DM scheme, and moments with Cougar Slayer and Forge of
War for the Raids.
Good night everybody.
Oh my god.

All Episodes

Palace of Hearts Desire | The Wild Beyond Finale | D&D5e Actual Play

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

Cold Case Files: Miami

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Palace of Hearts Desire | The Wild Beyond Finale | D&D5e Actual Play