Caroline Fleck: How Validation Will Transform Your Relationships

Episode recap:

This week’s guest is psychologist and author Dr. Caroline Fleck. Our conversation focused on the concept of validation as a leadership tool, exploring its importance in building connections, resolving conflicts, and fostering emotional well-being in both personal and professional settings. Dr. Fleck shared her experiences and insights on validation skills, emphasizing their transformative potential across various domains and their role in creating a culture of acceptance and belonging. The discussion also touched on how the adverse effects of technology will potentially affect empathy and communication. Marcel and his guest also touched on the importance of mindfulness and self-compassion in leadership and personal growth.

Bio:

Caroline Fleck, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, an adjunct clinical instructor at Stanford University, and a business consultant. She received her doctorate in psychology and neuroscience from Duke University and holds a BA in English and psychology from the University of Michigan. She is an expert in evidence-based treatments for individuals, couples, and parents, including DBT and cognitive behavioral therapy. She is renowned for her ability to help people make critical but challenging changes and is one of Silicon Valley’s most sought-after psychotherapists.

Quotes: 

• "Validation shows that you're there, you get it, and you care. It is a way of communicating mindfulness, understanding, and empathy, so another person feels accepted—so they feel seen and heard." 
• "The greatest gift that comes from knowing how to validate others is the opportunity to find meaning in suffering. " 

 

Takeaways: 

• Pause before responding to someone's issue and ask: "Should I validate their experience or immediately try to solve the problem?" 
• Practice the two basic validation skills: attend to others by understanding their point, and copy their language/body language to build connection. 

 

Timestamps: 

00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:26 The Power of Validation 03:33 Introducing Dr. Caroline Fleck 05:47 Dr. Fleck's Personal Journey 09:27 Understanding Validation 13:54 The Importance of Validation in the Workplace 20:48 Validation vs. Praise 26:27 Practical Validation Skills 28:34 The Importance of Dialogue in Today's Society 29:09 Effective Communication: Do You Want to Be Right or Effective? 30:37 Mindfulness Skills: Attending and Copying 33:30 The Power of Validation in Building Trust 36:25 Self-Compassion Through Validation 37:56 Techniques for Reducing Conflict in Collaborative Workplaces 42:05 The Impact of Technology on Empathy and Validation 45:52 Validation in Corporate Culture: Advice for CEOs 48:36 Speed Round: Personal Insights and Reflections 52:53 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

 

Conclusion: 

Validation is a simple but powerful way to strengthen trust and connection in both work and personal relationships. When we listen to understand rather than fix, we make space for honesty and closeness. This shift encourages better communication and helps people feel respected and safe. In a world that often moves too fast, taking time to truly hear someone can make all the difference. It’s a skill that builds stronger teams, deeper bonds, and more thoughtful conversations. 

 

Links/Resources: 

Website: https://www.drcarolinefleck.com/  

IG: https://www.instagram.com/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drcarolinefleck  

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