Episode Recap
This week on the podcast, I sat down with Dr. Jaime Goff — executive coach, therapist, and author of The Secure Leader. Our conversation goes deep into something many leaders feel but rarely explore: how our early attachment patterns quietly follow us into the workplace.
Dr. Jaime breaks attachment theory down into something extremely practical for leaders. At the core are two questions we all carry:
- Am I worthy of connection?
- Can I trust others to show up for me?
Our answers tend to show up at work in three ways. One of those ways is that of a “secure leader”: Grounded, steady, and empowering — the hallmark of modern servant leadership.
Leaders who do the inner work of a Secure Leader create workplaces where people can flourish.
Guest Bio
Dr. Jaime Goff is the founder of The Empathic Leader, LLC, where she specializes in helping leaders unlock their full potential through executive coaching, insightful workshops, and thought-provoking keynotes. Jaime holds a PhD in Couple and Family Therapy from Michigan State University and a graduate certificate in executive coaching from Southern Methodist University
Quotes:
- “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”
- “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”
- “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”
- “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”
- “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”
Takeaways:
- “We are not prisoners to our previous patterns, because we all have the power to become more secure.”
- “Your leadership is shaped long before you ever enter a leadership role.”
- “To love others well as a leader, you first have to believe you are worthy of love yourself.”
- “Emotional regulation is the first step toward showing up as a secure and present leader.”
- “All behavior makes sense in context, especially when you understand your story.”
Timestamps:
00:02 Intro and podcast milestones
05:12 Meet Dr. Jaime Goff and her personal story
07:21 The “latchkey kid” upbringing and over-independence
10:55 Why she wrote The Secure Leader
13:26 Attachment theory explained
15:21 How unworthiness shapes controlling or approval-seeking leadership
18:50 Jaime’s aha moment as a young leader
21:34 Gaining awareness and deconstructing your story
24:07 Avoidant, anxious, and secure leadership styles
28:44 Trauma, triggers, and past patterns repeating at work
32:18 The cost of skipping inner work
37:49 First steps to becoming a secure leader
40:06 Where to take the Secure Leader style scan
41:37 Speed round
45:52 Jaime’s hope for more secure leadership
48:31 Leading with love and building self-worth
50:56 Final takeaway on moving slow to move fast
52:57 How to connect with Dr. Jaime Goff
Conclusion:
As we close this inspiring conversation, remember that real leadership begins within. When you commit to self-discovery, you build the foundation to lead others with empathy, purpose, and resilience. Growth is a lifelong journey where each step forward helps you make a positive impact on those around you. Lead with clarity, nurture meaningful connections, and watch your influence create ripples of transformation in your team and beyond.
Links/Resources:
Website (take the assessment)- https://drjaimegoff.com/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjaimegoff/
Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Leader-Discover-Leadership-Story/dp/B0FBZ39H8Y/
Email Dr. Goff: jaime@drjaimegoff.com
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Brothers Ortiz
The Brothers Ortiz is the story of two brothers–both successful, but in very different ways. Gabe Ortiz becomes a third-highest ranking officer in all of Texas while his younger brother Larry climbs the ranks in Puro Tango Blast, a notorious Texas Prison gang. Gabe doesn’t know all the details of his brother’s nefarious dealings, and he’s made a point not to ask, to protect their relationship. But when Larry is murdered during a home invasion in a rented beach house, Gabe has no choice but to look into what happened that night. To solve Larry’s murder, Gabe, and the whole Ortiz family, must ask each other tough questions.