April 15, 2025 • 14 mins
Healing after friendship betrayals might be one of life's most underestimated emotional journeys. While we dedicate ice cream pints and tissue boxes to romantic breakups, the silent ending of a friendship often goes unprocessed – leaving wounds that fester beneath the surface of our daily lives.
"Sometimes you're not just grieving the person. You're grieving who you thought they were," I share, cutting straight to the heart of why these losses hurt so deeply. This powerful finale to our friendship and family relationship series offers more than just comfort; it provides a practical roadmap for moving forward when someone you trusted has broken your heart.
Ready to transform your friendship pain into personal power? Join us for this soul-nourishing conversation about reclaiming your energy and still believing in connection – even after being hurt. Because the strongest healing doesn't turn us cold; it makes us wise enough to love again, but this time with boundaries that honor our growth.
We would LOVE to hear from you!
Thank you joining Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, loves, welcome back to another episode of Love,
our Talks I am your host, kaylawhere we dive into all things
juicy here about love, datingrelationships, entertainment and
wellness.
Yes, y'all, so we have made itto the end of the series.
(00:20):
This is the final episode inour friendship and family
relationship series and I justwant to take a moment to thank
each and every one of you who'sbeen riding with me through this
journey.
Man, when I tell you, it'sbrought out so many emotions, so
many thoughts and memories andthings of that nature.
(00:42):
But you know, we've talkedabout, you know the betrayal,
the jealousy, you know thesilent breakups and the fake
friends.
We peel back the layers andexpose some real pain, y'all.
But on today, today we'reshifting the energy because it's
time to talk about the partthat doesn't always get the
(01:05):
spotlight and that's the healingprocess.
That is the healing.
So how do you move forwardafter being hurt by someone you
loved?
How do you let go of theresentment, the guilt, the
disappointment and still keepyour heart open?
How do you do that?
(01:27):
That's what we're getting intotoday because, no matter what
you've been through, I want youto know you can heal, you really
can, you can move forward andyou can rebuild stronger than
ever.
And you can rebuild strongerthan ever, yes, so go ahead,
(01:47):
grab your wine, coffee, tea,smoothie or your drink of choice
, because this one is aboutpeace, clarity and reclaiming
your power.
Okay, so I hope what I'mputting down is helping someone
right now, because it's helpingme, y'all.
It is really helping me to just, you know, think clearer and to
(02:12):
be at peace with what's goingon and what has happened.
And, like I said, let me behonest healing after betrayal
it's not easy.
It's not a switch that you flipoff and on.
It's not a switch that you flipoff and on.
It's a process.
You know it comes with tears,setbacks, relapses, okay, and
you're thinking and momentswhere you question everything.
(02:34):
And that's okay, becausehealing is messy, yeah, but it's
necessary.
And sometimes you're just notgrieving the person.
You're grieving who you thoughtthey were.
Yeah, you're grieving theversion of the friendship or
(03:01):
family you dreamt it would be,and that hurts.
But, baby, let me tell yousomething you have every right
to mourn it, just don't staystuck in it, just like any
relationship you've been in.
You know, I talk to people,especially my husband, about you
know life now and I reflect onthose relationships that I've
(03:27):
had with these young ladies overmy years and I asked myself,
and I was telling them I don'tthink I've ever sat back and
really grieved the loss of thatrelationship.
Because why is it any differentthan any other relationship?
Because here's the thing if youhave a relationship with the
(03:47):
opposite sex, like a man, andy'all been together for 10 plus
years, and now all of a suddenyou guys break up, you're
boohooing for days.
You got the snot tissues andthe box of Kleenex and the ice
cream.
You're going through a process.
You're on that couch for days,shut out from the world, because
you're going through anemotional process, because
(04:10):
you've given your heart to thatperson, you're giving time,
energy, space to that person.
Why is it any different than agirlfriend that you have spent
time with you, shared memorieswith you, shared conversations,
deep conversations with you,shared your heart with, because
you loved them at some point?
Right, and you probably dostill love them.
But why is that any different?
(04:33):
And so we have to heal, we haveto go through that grieving
process, right, we have to shedthose tears and grieve and let
it out so that we can begin thehealing process and, like I said
, the healing can be messy, butit is necessary.
And sometimes you're not just,like I say, grieving the person,
(04:53):
you're grieving who you thoughtthey were, but you don't stay
stuck there, you don't?
So let's talk about some stepsto healing and moving forward.
Let's talk about some steps tohealing and moving forward.
One thing is acknowledge whathappened and how it made you
feel.
Yeah, and you know, stopdownplaying what they did.
(05:16):
Stop saying, oh, it wasn't thatbad.
If it hurt, it hurt.
Okay.
If that's what it was, it hurt.
Acknowledge the truth.
It's the first step ofrealizing it.
Okay.
And the second thing is let goof that fantasy, because here's
(05:37):
the thing we hold.
Sometimes we hold on to peoplebecause of the history, the
potential or the good times, butif who they are today is
hurting you, let go of thatfantasy and accept the reality.
That's when real healing begins.
It's in the mind.
You have to accept that.
The third thing is stop seekingclosure from the one who hurt
(05:59):
you.
Y'all, I need to hear that onemyself.
Right?
Let me say that.
Stop seeking closure from theone who hurt you.
Closure is an inside job, okay,some people will never give you
the apology, the explanation orthe accountability you deserve,
but you can still choose toheal without it.
(06:23):
Yeah, so the fourth thing isset new boundaries, going
forward.
Healing isn't just aboutletting go, it's about
protecting your future as well.
Start setting your boundariesso that honor your growth.
Not everyone deserves access toyou, and I know y'all heard that
(06:47):
before.
Not everyone deserves access toyou, and I know y'all heard
that before.
Not everyone deserves access toyou Facts.
Fifth thing is pour back intoyourself, reclaim your energy.
Do the things that light up youagain Journaling, praying,
traveling, resting, laughing,reconnecting with you.
Laughing, reconnecting with you.
Take yourself on a spa day.
(07:10):
Okay, go get a massage, getyour feet massaged, felt on.
You know, do the thing, becausethe best revenge is not
bitterness, it's peace andelevation.
Think about that project thatyou've been wanting to work on,
that you then put back on theback burner because you were so
busy running around with thatyoung girl over there.
You know your friend over there.
You know chasing after whatthey wanted to do.
(07:33):
Now it's time for you.
So y'all look, my healingjourney was, you know it's like
I said, it has definitely been ajourney.
It has definitely been ajourney.
(07:55):
Y'all know I'm not just talkingfrom a place of theory.
Right, this has been my life.
I have been hurt, I have beenbetrayed and you know, drinking
some water here, mouth isgetting a little dry but I've
(08:19):
been betrayed, yeah, and I'vebeen hurt and I've cried over
friends I thought were myforever friends.
These were, I thought BFF.
Right, I thought that's whatthat meant Best friends forever.
I literally thought BFF is whatI had in these people and I've
questioned my worth because ofhow people treated me.
(08:42):
Maybe it's me.
What did I do wrong?
Why don't they like me?
Well, I can you know, no, don'tdo that.
But I made a decision.
I wasn't going to let that painturn me cold.
I wasn't going to let brokenpeople break me.
(09:03):
I chose to do the work.
I'm still doing the work andI'm still healing.
I'm still doing the work andI'm still healing.
And even on the days when Ididn't feel I don't you know, I
don't feel the strongest Iremind myself I'm still here and
, trina, you are still worthyand I still believe in love, in
(09:24):
friendship, in sisterhood Ireally strongly do and in family
and in myself.
And if I can heal, so can you.
I'm going to give you like somewords of affirmation, real
(09:47):
quick, right?
So say these words, right, saythis with me, and you can say
these daily, and they're simple,right.
I release what no longer servesme.
I am worthy of genuine love andsupport.
I no longer chase people whochoose not to see my value and I
(10:08):
protect my peaceunapologetically.
I attract healthy, alignedrelationships into my life.
I deserve love and the kind oflove that I give.
Okay, say those things becauseyou know, sometimes you need to
(10:31):
motivate yourself and speakthose things over you and, like
I said, you know this is the endof the episode and I don't want
to hold you with this one.
I'm just so excited to havecovered these topics here with
you guys because it has beensomething that has weighed on me
, something that I needed totalk about.
(10:52):
I needed to release myself andI would feel like you know
sometimes, oh, it's just me, I'mthe only one that's going
through this, but I've talked tomultiple women and so many
women over these past weekscoming up and it's not just me,
I'm not the only one.
There are so many women outhere that have had friendships,
(11:16):
silent breakups, jealous friends, toxic friends, and I'm
understanding how all this works, and it's not just me.
And, that being said, I want towork on building a community of
women so we can support eachother.
Okay, and so be on the lookoutfor something great from Katrina
(11:40):
Love.
Okay For me.
Okay, love.
Be on the lookout for that,because that is.
I'm about sisterhood, I'm aboutlove period, even though my
last name is Love, I really,truly am about love, whether
it's relationship wise with youknow, helping others with their
relationships, finding love andso forth, and also building love
(12:04):
with sisterhood.
I'm all about love in general.
So, like I said, I'm glad thatyou made it to this episode and
I hope you're walking away witha little more strength, a little
more clarity and a whole lot oflove for yourself.
And, like I said, this serieswasn't about bashing or
(12:25):
bitterness.
It was about truth, healing andreal talk, because sometimes
the powerful thing you can do isadmit yes, I was hurt, but I'm
still here and I'm healing right.
So, thank you, thank you, thankyou again for listening, for
(12:46):
sharing your stories and forgrowing with me.
This is just the beginning.
So, again, protect your energy,your peace, take care of your
heart and don't be afraid tomove forward, even if you're
still healing along the way,just like me.
So until next time, I'm sendingyou love, peace and all the
healing vibes, and I'll see youon the next episode, which I am
(13:10):
continuing with a discussionwith a young lady.
And this young lady, when Itell you, just, you got to stay
tuned.
For the next episode, we'regoing to continue a little bit
more with the sisterhood talk,but I want to bring on um some
(13:32):
one-on-one conversations withpeople and I want you guys to be
there to hear theseconversations.
So please don't forget to tuneback into Love Our Talks.
Tell a friend and tell theother friend, tell somebody that
needs to hear this, that wantsto hear this and that is looking
to find support in this.
Okay, so again, thank you guysfor tuning in to Love Our Talks.
(13:55):
I'm your host, kayla, andplease don't forget to stay
blessed y'all All right Bye.
Hey, loves, welcome back to another episode of Love,
our Talks I am your host, kaylawhere we dive into all things
juicy here about love, datingrelationships, entertainment and
wellness.
Yes, y'all, so we have made itto the end of the series.
(00:20):
This is the final episode inour friendship and family
relationship series and I justwant to take a moment to thank
each and every one of you who'sbeen riding with me through this
journey.
Man, when I tell you, it'sbrought out so many emotions, so
many thoughts and memories andthings of that nature.
(00:42):
But you know, we've talkedabout, you know the betrayal,
the jealousy, you know thesilent breakups and the fake
friends.
We peel back the layers andexpose some real pain, y'all.
But on today, today we'reshifting the energy because it's
time to talk about the partthat doesn't always get the
(01:05):
spotlight and that's the healingprocess.
That is the healing.
So how do you move forwardafter being hurt by someone you
loved?
How do you let go of theresentment, the guilt, the
disappointment and still keepyour heart open?
How do you do that?
(01:27):
That's what we're getting intotoday because, no matter what
you've been through, I want youto know you can heal, you really
can, you can move forward andyou can rebuild stronger than
ever.
And you can rebuild strongerthan ever, yes, so go ahead,
(01:47):
grab your wine, coffee, tea,smoothie or your drink of choice
, because this one is aboutpeace, clarity and reclaiming
your power.
Okay, so I hope what I'mputting down is helping someone
right now, because it's helpingme, y'all.
It is really helping me to just, you know, think clearer and to
(02:12):
be at peace with what's goingon and what has happened.
And, like I said, let me behonest healing after betrayal
it's not easy.
It's not a switch that you flipoff and on.
It's not a switch that you flipoff and on.
It's a process.
You know it comes with tears,setbacks, relapses, okay, and
you're thinking and momentswhere you question everything.
(02:34):
And that's okay, becausehealing is messy, yeah, but it's
necessary.
And sometimes you're just notgrieving the person.
You're grieving who you thoughtthey were.
Yeah, you're grieving theversion of the friendship or
(03:01):
family you dreamt it would be,and that hurts.
But, baby, let me tell yousomething you have every right
to mourn it, just don't staystuck in it, just like any
relationship you've been in.
You know, I talk to people,especially my husband, about you
know life now and I reflect onthose relationships that I've
(03:27):
had with these young ladies overmy years and I asked myself,
and I was telling them I don'tthink I've ever sat back and
really grieved the loss of thatrelationship.
Because why is it any differentthan any other relationship?
Because here's the thing if youhave a relationship with the
(03:47):
opposite sex, like a man, andy'all been together for 10 plus
years, and now all of a suddenyou guys break up, you're
boohooing for days.
You got the snot tissues andthe box of Kleenex and the ice
cream.
You're going through a process.
You're on that couch for days,shut out from the world, because
you're going through anemotional process, because
(04:10):
you've given your heart to thatperson, you're giving time,
energy, space to that person.
Why is it any different than agirlfriend that you have spent
time with you, shared memorieswith you, shared conversations,
deep conversations with you,shared your heart with, because
you loved them at some point?
Right, and you probably dostill love them.
But why is that any different?
(04:33):
And so we have to heal, we haveto go through that grieving
process, right, we have to shedthose tears and grieve and let
it out so that we can begin thehealing process and, like I said
, the healing can be messy, butit is necessary.
And sometimes you're not just,like I say, grieving the person,
(04:53):
you're grieving who you thoughtthey were, but you don't stay
stuck there, you don't?
So let's talk about some stepsto healing and moving forward.
Let's talk about some steps tohealing and moving forward.
One thing is acknowledge whathappened and how it made you
feel.
Yeah, and you know, stopdownplaying what they did.
(05:16):
Stop saying, oh, it wasn't thatbad.
If it hurt, it hurt.
Okay.
If that's what it was, it hurt.
Acknowledge the truth.
It's the first step ofrealizing it.
Okay.
And the second thing is let goof that fantasy, because here's
(05:37):
the thing we hold.
Sometimes we hold on to peoplebecause of the history, the
potential or the good times, butif who they are today is
hurting you, let go of thatfantasy and accept the reality.
That's when real healing begins.
It's in the mind.
You have to accept that.
The third thing is stop seekingclosure from the one who hurt
(05:59):
you.
Y'all, I need to hear that onemyself.
Right?
Let me say that.
Stop seeking closure from theone who hurt you.
Closure is an inside job, okay,some people will never give you
the apology, the explanation orthe accountability you deserve,
but you can still choose toheal without it.
(06:23):
Yeah, so the fourth thing isset new boundaries, going
forward.
Healing isn't just aboutletting go, it's about
protecting your future as well.
Start setting your boundariesso that honor your growth.
Not everyone deserves access toyou, and I know y'all heard that
(06:47):
before.
Not everyone deserves access toyou, and I know y'all heard
that before.
Not everyone deserves access toyou Facts.
Fifth thing is pour back intoyourself, reclaim your energy.
Do the things that light up youagain Journaling, praying,
traveling, resting, laughing,reconnecting with you.
Laughing, reconnecting with you.
Take yourself on a spa day.
(07:10):
Okay, go get a massage, getyour feet massaged, felt on.
You know, do the thing, becausethe best revenge is not
bitterness, it's peace andelevation.
Think about that project thatyou've been wanting to work on,
that you then put back on theback burner because you were so
busy running around with thatyoung girl over there.
You know your friend over there.
You know chasing after whatthey wanted to do.
(07:33):
Now it's time for you.
So y'all look, my healingjourney was, you know it's like
I said, it has definitely been ajourney.
It has definitely been ajourney.
(07:55):
Y'all know I'm not just talkingfrom a place of theory.
Right, this has been my life.
I have been hurt, I have beenbetrayed and you know, drinking
some water here, mouth isgetting a little dry but I've
(08:19):
been betrayed, yeah, and I'vebeen hurt and I've cried over
friends I thought were myforever friends.
These were, I thought BFF.
Right, I thought that's whatthat meant Best friends forever.
I literally thought BFF is whatI had in these people and I've
questioned my worth because ofhow people treated me.
(08:42):
Maybe it's me.
What did I do wrong?
Why don't they like me?
Well, I can you know, no, don'tdo that.
But I made a decision.
I wasn't going to let that painturn me cold.
I wasn't going to let brokenpeople break me.
(09:03):
I chose to do the work.
I'm still doing the work andI'm still healing.
I'm still doing the work andI'm still healing.
And even on the days when Ididn't feel I don't you know, I
don't feel the strongest Iremind myself I'm still here and
, trina, you are still worthyand I still believe in love, in
(09:24):
friendship, in sisterhood Ireally strongly do and in family
and in myself.
And if I can heal, so can you.
I'm going to give you like somewords of affirmation, real
(09:47):
quick, right?
So say these words, right, saythis with me, and you can say
these daily, and they're simple,right.
I release what no longer servesme.
I am worthy of genuine love andsupport.
I no longer chase people whochoose not to see my value and I
(10:08):
protect my peaceunapologetically.
I attract healthy, alignedrelationships into my life.
I deserve love and the kind oflove that I give.
Okay, say those things becauseyou know, sometimes you need to
(10:31):
motivate yourself and speakthose things over you and, like
I said, you know this is the endof the episode and I don't want
to hold you with this one.
I'm just so excited to havecovered these topics here with
you guys because it has beensomething that has weighed on me
, something that I needed totalk about.
(10:52):
I needed to release myself andI would feel like you know
sometimes, oh, it's just me, I'mthe only one that's going
through this, but I've talked tomultiple women and so many
women over these past weekscoming up and it's not just me,
I'm not the only one.
There are so many women outhere that have had friendships,
(11:16):
silent breakups, jealous friends, toxic friends, and I'm
understanding how all this works, and it's not just me.
And, that being said, I want towork on building a community of
women so we can support eachother.
Okay, and so be on the lookoutfor something great from Katrina
(11:40):
Love.
Okay For me.
Okay, love.
Be on the lookout for that,because that is.
I'm about sisterhood, I'm aboutlove period, even though my
last name is Love, I really,truly am about love, whether
it's relationship wise with youknow, helping others with their
relationships, finding love andso forth, and also building love
(12:04):
with sisterhood.
I'm all about love in general.
So, like I said, I'm glad thatyou made it to this episode and
I hope you're walking away witha little more strength, a little
more clarity and a whole lot oflove for yourself.
And, like I said, this serieswasn't about bashing or
(12:25):
bitterness.
It was about truth, healing andreal talk, because sometimes
the powerful thing you can do isadmit yes, I was hurt, but I'm
still here and I'm healing right.
So, thank you, thank you, thankyou again for listening, for
(12:46):
sharing your stories and forgrowing with me.
This is just the beginning.
So, again, protect your energy,your peace, take care of your
heart and don't be afraid tomove forward, even if you're
still healing along the way,just like me.
So until next time, I'm sendingyou love, peace and all the
healing vibes, and I'll see youon the next episode, which I am
(13:10):
continuing with a discussionwith a young lady.
And this young lady, when Itell you, just, you got to stay
tuned.
For the next episode, we'regoing to continue a little bit
more with the sisterhood talk,but I want to bring on um some
(13:32):
one-on-one conversations withpeople and I want you guys to be
there to hear theseconversations.
So please don't forget to tuneback into Love Our Talks.
Tell a friend and tell theother friend, tell somebody that
needs to hear this, that wantsto hear this and that is looking
to find support in this.
Okay, so again, thank you guysfor tuning in to Love Our Talks.
(13:55):
I'm your host, kayla, andplease don't forget to stay
blessed y'all All right Bye.
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