#226: Your Emotional Survival Mode Is Sabotaging Your Relationship (Here’s How to Stop It)

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Ever find yourself saying things you don’t mean… or going completely silent because it feels like nothing will help?

You’re not alone. When emotions run high, we don’t default to communication, we default to survival.

In this episode of Love Shack Live, we’re pulling back the curtain on one of the most important (and overlooked) relationship skills: how to regulate your emotional state before you try to “fix” the conversation.

You’ll learn:

• The two emotional survival modes we all fall into, Control and Collapse, and how to recognize yours
• Why communication tips don’t work when your nervous system is in overdrive
• What the “Window of Neutrality” is, and how to stay inside it
• The real reason your conversations keep going sideways (it’s not what you think)

🧠 This is a full-length video training pulled directly from our Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap. If you want to see the slides and visuals Staci references, you can watch the video version in the Spotify app or on our website here: https://stacibartley.com/emotional-survival-mode-relationship/

🎯 Want to go deeper?

• Take the $9 Self-Assessment here: https://stacibartley.com/separation-survival-kit/space-communication-playbook/
• Start the 30-Day Roadmap and stop spiraling: https://stacibartley.com/self-paced/30-day-roadmap
• Get community support inside the Better Love Club (available as an add-on with the roadmap)

This episode is your first emotional pushup rep toward better communication. It starts here, with you.

Timestamps: 

04:39 Control Survival Mode Explained
06:33 Collapse Survival Mode Explained
07:48 Personal Story: From Collapse to Control
10:43 Balancing Control and Collapse in Relationships
20:33 The Window of Neutrality
24:10 Practical Tips for Emotional Regulation
31:54 Conclusion: Building Better Relationships
34:50 Final Thoughts and Resources