November 28, 2023 • 30 mins
Parenting is one of the most rewarding and at the same time one of the most defeating experiences. Parents have their work cut out for them but the pay off is the enjoyment that comes from these amazing children God has entrusted to them. There is one problem though. Once your kids are gone, you can't go back. That is why doing the right things now is so crucial to their lives then.
Join hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger for this two-part series on Parenting as they share four things parents need to know to raise kids. They get vulnerable sharing their own failures in parenting along with key truths of wisdom for parents who are in the thick of raising humans. Moms and dad's, be sure to check this one out!! Consider sharing it with a friend who is a parent as well!!
Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping - What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You
For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dawn Rosinger (00:13):
Hey everyone, welcome back to the Loving the
Fight Marriage podcast.
My name is Dawn and I'm sittinghere with my husband and also
my co-host, travis.
Travis Rosinger (00:20):
Yes, we're back and we're so glad to be hanging
out with you guys.
We are just in awe of the factthat you are tuning in, but also
that you are wanting to makeyour life and yourself better.
That's important it is.
That's a huge part of what thispodcast is about.
We want ourselves, Travis andDawn, to get better, but we want
(00:41):
to also do everything that wecan to encourage you.
Dawn Rosinger (00:44):
Absolutely, because every day is a learning
experience, right.
Travis Rosinger (00:46):
It really is.
I have to say there's newthings Like new stuff.
Dawn Rosinger (00:49):
Yep, well, we are just coming off of an awesome
weekend that we had with ourkids and our grandkids.
We had three days full of justquality time.
They came to our house andspent three days with us.
We're celebrating the holidaystwo holidays actually
Thanksgiving and Christmas allwithin one day of each other.
Travis Rosinger (01:09):
How did we do that?
That's crazy.
Dawn Rosinger (01:11):
It was a blast, but it was just fun having the
Christmas tree up and the kids.
We did this actually rightafter Thanksgiving, so kind of a
weird timing but so much fun.
Travis Rosinger (01:21):
Yeah, it was a blast All that time with our
kids, our adult children, andthen them having their kids with
them.
Boy, it really got us thinkinga lot about parents and
parenting and how that impactsmarriage Absolutely and the
relationship between a man and awoman, a husband and a wife,
(01:42):
and so we have a lot of respectfor parents.
We do.
Dawn Rosinger (01:46):
You know what I have to say really quick.
One of my best guess, myfavorite things in the world is
just being a mom.
I love being a mom.
I love having grandkids.
Man, it's just an incrediblething.
But being a parent andobviously being a mom and a dad
really affects marriage, right.
Oh man, it's just such animportant part, but everything
that we do as parents reallyaffects us in our marriage.
(02:07):
Well, recently I read the storyin the news and it was just
talking about different thingsthat parents do and how much we
invest into our kids.
Well, this news article went onto say that, as parents, you
will, on average, change betweenthree to 5,000 diapers per
child by the time that they arefully potty drained.
(02:28):
Like three to 5,000.
Travis Rosinger (02:29):
Oh my gosh, that's a lot of poop.
Let's just be honest, right,that's so many dirty diapers.
Dawn Rosinger (02:36):
Moms and dads, you guys are killing it out
there, so not only will youchange a lot of diapers, parents
, especially parents of youngerkids, you will lose an average
of three hours of sleep pernight, or a total of 133 nights
of sleep by the time your babyturns one.
So let's say you have two,three, four, five kids.
(02:56):
That's a lot of nights of sleepthat you are going to miss out
on.
Travis Rosinger (03:00):
No wonder there's so many guys out there
walking around that are bald andwives that are stressed out of
their minds.
Dawn Rosinger (03:08):
Well, not only are you going to lose sleep, but
, parents, you are going to getinto 2,000 and 184 arguments
with your kids every year.
That's yearly, I mean.
And then I'm like, wait, wellagain, what if you have two,
three, four, five kids?
Travis Rosinger (03:21):
Tons of pushback.
Dawn Rosinger (03:23):
That's a lot of arguments, but this is just a
huge number that this articletalked about.
The cost that you will pay toraise a child from birth to age
18 is 237,480.
That's a lot of money.
Again, times that by how manykids that you have.
(03:44):
That's a lot of commitment andhard work, but I wouldn't trade
it for anything Like.
I said being a parent was one ofthe best things that we got to
do and it was so fun to be ableto do that Travis with you
together as we co-parented ourkids.
Travis Rosinger (04:00):
Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun, but it was kind
of like flying an airplaneblindfolded, Like we're either
gonna stay up in the air orwe're gonna come crashing down
and it's gonna be one bigexplosion.
Dawn Rosinger (04:13):
Well, honestly, I think, parents, you have one of
the most difficult jobs on theplanet and also one of the most
rewarding jobs on the planet.
There's so many rewards thatcome with parenting, but God
obviously believes in you.
He gave you the gift of life inthis child and the ability to
watch over and nurture a childwho becomes a teenager and
eventually they become an adultwho eventually has kids of their
(04:35):
own.
Travis Rosinger (04:36):
Yeah, these are humans.
Mom and dads aren't growingcorn, it's not like some garden
out in their backyard, oranimals that are only gonna live
like 10 years.
Dawn Rosinger (04:46):
These are humans that live like 80 years and have
the ability to have generationsof offspring.
Oh my gosh.
Travis Rosinger (04:54):
Well, don, I remember back when you and I
first got married, we gotpregnant really quickly and then
we went to give birth and Ijust remember you went into a
labor camp and you had labor,had contractions.
I drove you to the hospital andit was a really fun experience.
Of course, there's pain.
You're giving birth.
It was probably more fun foryou than it was for me at that
(05:15):
moment it probably was, but werolled in and we got to go back
then one of those shiny suburbankind of newer hospitals.
Dawn Rosinger (05:22):
Oh, we had a first class hospital.
It was awesome.
It was incredible.
Travis Rosinger (05:26):
Right in the Twin Cities Minneapolis area,
and so we rolled into this placeand right away they just
started waiting on us, hand andfoot.
And they like the nurses werelike hey, you need a glass of
water, here's a pillow.
They had a comfy couch therefor me.
There was free TV, you knowloads of snacks.
They would bring you all thesemeals.
They'd give me meals as well,and I mean we were just kind of
(05:48):
living it up in between.
You know, these contractions.
Dawn Rosinger (05:51):
Well, in between the contractions, yeah, but it
was.
You again were living it upmore it was a posh place.
Travis Rosinger (05:56):
I mean, it was beautiful.
And then you went to give birth, don, and the birth went really
, really well and they justcontinued to spoil us.
I remember at one point a nurselooked at me and she's like hey
, you see that room right acrossthe hall from from your
hospital room here.
She's like that is loaded withtons of snacks and free food for
all of the expecting parents.
(06:17):
Go raid the place as often asyou want, and it was.
It was so fun.
So I did.
As you can tell I'm talkingabout it more than you are, but
like I went in there and scoopedup so much food.
But we guys, we were just acouple blue collar kids Sitting
in this hospital.
You know, we just gave birth.
They're treating us likeroyalty and we feel like we're
at an all inclusive.
Dawn Rosinger (06:38):
We've never been on all inclusive, but here you
go.
Travis Rosinger (06:41):
We're like is this the Caribbean?
Are we on an island somewhere?
I mean, we are being treated so, so well.
Well, everything was goingincredibly well until they
suddenly hit the brakes.
I could hear the screeching ofthe of the tires on the road.
When they said all right, yourtime's up, you got to go home.
And I looked at him.
I kind of got whiplash.
I looked at him and I was likehold on a second.
(07:02):
You haven't given us like aclass on parenting, you.
You haven't set up an on thejob.
You know at home instructiontime.
You know to teach us how to beparents.
Dawn Rosinger (07:14):
And you didn't give us a parenting manual,
manual with instructions.
Travis Rosinger (07:17):
Yeah, now you're going to send us home
with this human and for a momentI thought this can't be legal,
like they don't have a right tosend us home with a real human
being.
Dawn Rosinger (07:27):
Did they know who we were?
Yeah, we were, we were.
Travis Rosinger (07:29):
We were so young and had just finished
being teenagers ourselves andnow we're suddenly going to be
raising kids.
Well, you know, honestly, wesurvived and our two kids
survived on.
You just said a second ago howwe had Thanksgiving and
Christmas with our kids.
So obviously they're alive,they've had kids and we're so
(07:50):
grateful for the family that Godhas given us.
And as crazy as it sounds to bethrown into raising a child
without a manual or a class oron the job training, you know,
honestly, moms and dads outthere, I actually think that
that's the way that God intendsit to be, and here's why the
ability to raise a child wasalready built within you.
(08:10):
You don't need a manual, it'salready there.
Now I think back to when I wasa kid.
Don, I want to hear your takeon this, but remember back when
we were kids, there were likeonly two ways to raise a kid.
There were the parents thatspank their kids and the parents
that would ground their kids.
Dawn Rosinger (08:28):
That's true.
Two ways to their bedroomsright.
Travis Rosinger (08:31):
And I was always jealous of the kids that
got grounded where all the toyswere at in their bedrooms.
Dawn Rosinger (08:38):
So obviously I know what type of host that you
were raised in.
It was not the home that hadthe toys, it was not.
You got to go and relax, it wasnot always fun.
Travis Rosinger (08:47):
It worked, but it was not always fun.
But here's, here's my point.
Moms and dads, those of youthat are listening you are in a
world that doesn't just have twostyles of parenting, like it
was back when I was a kid andDon was a kid man.
There are millions and millionsof different ideas and ways
that people are pushing on you.
Even as you listen to this,you're probably thinking of oh,
(09:08):
I heard this person say I shouldbe this kind of parent or that
kind of parent.
Dawn Rosinger (09:11):
It's something like sleep training, like that's
a new concept, that's the typeof parenting that you have.
So, you know, with your kids,when it comes to sleeping, your
sleep training them like, oh,that's interesting yeah.
Travis Rosinger (09:21):
And some of it's good and some of it's like
huh, where did this come from?
I'm not sure, like, if I shouldbe using it or not.
I even think of that.
There was an influencer thissummer who had millions of
followers on, you know, youtubeand this lady ended up getting
arrested.
Dawn Rosinger (09:36):
Yeah, I've actually.
I remember seeing that her onthe news.
I was shocked.
Travis Rosinger (09:39):
Yeah, she was doing a video, a vlog, of you
know how to raise children anddo it right.
And they ended up arresting herbecause her kids were tied up
and they had cuts and openwounds and they were trying to
escape from their mom to get outof the house to survive.
Dawn Rosinger (09:55):
Yeah, and it's crazy because she had, like,
millions of followers.
Travis Rosinger (09:58):
She did so many and you know, here are parents
trying to learn from her andthen she's hurting her kids.
Yeah, she's a horrible parent,not the kind of person you want
to be learning from.
So, moms and dads, in thisworld of confusion about how to
raise your kids, it's reallyhard to know what the right way
is.
I mean, raising your kids hasso much less to do with your
(10:19):
kids and way more to do with youas parents.
Not that your kids aren'timportant, but, moms and dads,
you are so important in yourmarriage but especially, too,
with your kids.
Our society, of course, isgoing to tell you that the right
way to raise a kid or a child,a teenager, is to just let them
decide and you know what, getbehind that, support them in
(10:42):
that or let them find their owntruth and also support that or
their own identity and reinforcethat.
But we know that that won'twork.
It doesn't work.
It's only going to end infailure.
Dawn Rosinger (10:55):
So why are we talking about parenting when
this is a marriage podcast?
We're talking about it becauseit has everything to do with
marriage.
Travis Rosinger (11:02):
Parenting affects your marriage and vice
versa, marriage affects yourparenting it really does, and
couples got to be on the samepage with how they raise their
kids and understanding the valueof parenthood or the impact of
being parents and what that doesto your children.
Dawn Rosinger (11:21):
We recently had an opportunity to just encourage
and challenge parents in a fewdifferent settings and there was
a question that we got and itwas honestly.
It was about how do you model ahealthy relationship in a
marriage for your kids, and thatwas such a relevant question
and, man, the answers that camein were phenomenal.
But it's so important.
Your kids are watching youmodel your marriage and they're
(11:43):
also watching your parentingstyle.
So today and next week, we'rejust going to talk about
parenting and we're going togive you four foundational
principles that we believe Godwants you to be aware of and to
live by as parents.
The first principle is this Godchose you and trusts you to be
the number one spiritualinfluence in your child's life.
(12:04):
He didn't choose Cocoa Melonand he didn't choose Taylor
Swift.
He chose you.
You're the ultimate influencerin your kids life and I think
that's such a concept that wehave to grasp.
Like you, god picked you.
Travis Rosinger (12:18):
Yeah, and we've got to remember too, we're not
just raising kids, we're raisingadults.
I mean, after all, these littlehumans that run around our
house, I mean, they're only kidsfor a small portion of their
life, most of their lives,they're adults.
I know absolutely, and reallyit's just this idea of being a
strong spiritual influence inthese future adult's lives.
Dawn Rosinger (12:40):
You know, when your child was born, your
identity forever changed and youinstantly became a leader to
another person who has a body, amind and a spirit, a person who
will live for eternity eitherclose to God in heaven or a
person who will live eternallyseparated from God.
I don't like to necessarily saythat we don't want to talk
about that all the time, butit's true.
(13:01):
It's a big leadershipresponsibility.
Parents, you are leaders.
You're leaders of your kids.
Travis Rosinger (13:07):
Yeah, and there's some really great
examples of parents who areleaders in the Bible.
I mean, I immediately think ofHannah in the Old Testament, a
mom who couldn't get pregnant.
She finally does.
And what does she do?
She brings her son Samuel, thefuture High Priest of Israel, to
the temple.
She dedicates him to God.
I think of Mary and Joseph inthe New Testament, the parents
(13:28):
of Jesus, and how, on the eighthday of Jesus' life, I mean,
he's just this little baby theybring him to the temple and they
dedicate him to God.
You know.
Dawn Rosinger (13:38):
These are really great examples because they
embrace their identity asspiritual leaders of their
children, of these eternalbeings.
They brought their children toGod.
Parents, your spiritual missionis to bring your children to
God.
I know some of you may thinkyou know, wait, how can I be the
spiritual leader for my kidsthat God wants me to be when I
(13:58):
just blow it all the time?
And you know what I think thatof myself and I think back to
you know different times as whenour kids were, you know,
growing up that man, I blew it.
But parents, you are theabsolute best one to lead your
children spiritually.
Yes, you might blow it.
No, not that you might.
You will blow it.
You might feel like a failureat times, but guess what?
(14:18):
God chose you anyways.
He knew that you would blow it,that you would fail, but you
were handpicked by God for this.
He knew what he was doing whenhe gave you your kids and he
knew what he was doing when hegave us our two kids.
I mean, we were young, wedidn't have a lot of experience,
but God still chose us.
Travis Rosinger (14:36):
Yeah, I think back to a time that I blew it.
My son, our son Don, was 15 andhe had landed a spot on the
adult church band and I was apastor at this senior pastor at
this church, and he was hangingout with the adults and they
were about ready to do bandpractice and I had been had a
long day was was there too, waytoo late and I was kind of
walking through the auditoriumand he said something to me and
(14:59):
it kind of came out when hesideways because he kind of said
it disrespectfully.
Dawn Rosinger (15:02):
Well, he was 15, right.
Travis Rosinger (15:04):
Imagine what that tone was Kind of his job,
those 2000 arguments every year,but yeah, but I blew it by
making the mistake of giving itback to him.
And once I did I mean I didn'tyell, but I was kind of rude
back to him out loud.
Then I looked over and I sawall those adults and I was like,
oh my gosh, I just humiliatedmy son in front of all these
(15:25):
people he looks up to.
He's learning from him.
So I had to go back to everysingle one of those adults and I
apologized.
Then I went to my son I saidlook, I'm so sorry, I
embarrassed you, I blew it.
I asked all those people forforgiveness.
Would you forgive me?
And again, at that moment, whenI kind of went off on them, you
know, I realized that I blew itbecause we praise in public and
(15:46):
we correct in private.
But he was kind enough toforgive me.
And as bad of a dad as I was inthat moment, guess what?
Like you were saying, don Godchose me, he chose us to be
parents.
Dawn Rosinger (15:58):
He did Yep Even though we had no manual and we
have many stories about how weblew it.
Yeah, lots.
Travis Rosinger (16:03):
And he chooses imperfect people parents to do
some of his best work.
So, moms and dads, if you're atall discouraged right now,
don't be.
God is with you.
Dawn Rosinger (16:12):
You know you're being the most important
spiritual leader in your kids'lives is exactly the way God
views you.
So I just have to ask you rightnow is that how you view
yourself?
Do you view yourself as themost important spiritual leader?
Well, you should.
Your children learn the mostabout God from watching your
life, both the good and the bad.
That's why we parents are givenvery specific instructions in
(16:35):
the Bible on how to live infront of our children.
In Deuteronomy 6, 4, it saysthis Listen, o Israel, the Lord
is our God, the Lord alone, andyou must love the Lord, your God
, with all your heart, all yoursoul and all your strength, and
you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands
that I am giving you today.
Those words are so importantbecause Jesus actually says them
(16:57):
again in the New Testament.
But this was written thisDeuteronomy 6,.
It was written to parents,because when you love God, your
children, they're going to knowit.
Loving God is probably the mostimportant and powerful thing
you could ever do to positivelyimpact your kids throughout
their lives.
Travis Rosinger (17:14):
Yeah, you know something that happened to us
and I don't know how it did, butjust by it just kind of
unfolded.
I think we were about maybe sixmonths into parenting, you know
, with our son, and one night Ijust went to put him to bed and
I sang Jesus loves me with him.
And then the next night cameand I sang it again, and then I
(17:35):
sang it again, and then I sangit again.
Yeah, and it was just likethree years ago when our son had
his first child.
All of a sudden he's puttingour grandson to bed and in the
distance we could hear himsinging Jesus loves me with our
grandson and it just melted ourheart in that moment, while you
hear that powerful song, andthen you're him singing over our
(17:58):
grandson.
It was awesome and I was like,well, wait a second, how'd that
happen?
I mean, I didn't tell him heneeded to do that with his son,
I didn't teach him, you got todo this.
We just sang it together as aworship song to God.
Even though it's written, Ithink, for little kids like we
would just worship God everynight.
And so he started passing thaton to his kid.
(18:19):
And now our daughter has twolittle girls, and one of them,
sweet little Lenora.
She's about three years old andso she has discovered this song
Jesus loves me, I'm assumingfrom her mom singing it to her
or dad every night.
But it's kind of funny.
We'll be in the car drivingacross our city, our metro area,
and she knows all the words tothe song Jesus loves me, but she
(18:43):
doesn't know how to say thename of the song.
She just says more Jesus, moreJesus, and we know that means
Jesus loves me Not only a littlebit.
Dawn Rosinger (18:52):
She freaks out.
Travis Rosinger (18:52):
She's like more Jesus, more Jesus, more Jesus
she screams and the minute weturn it on it's like she gets
really quiet and she startssinging the song and she's like
caught up into somewhere else,like she loves it.
And then she's figured outthere's this lady named Alexa
who will sing it to her, and soshe'll scream at Alexa in our
home and say, alexa, more Jesus,more Jesus.
The whole point of why we'retelling you this story is that,
(19:16):
moms and dads, the love that youhave for God in your life, it's
got a ripple effect as parents.
It's gonna ripple effect notonly into your kids' lives, but
also into your grandkids' lives.
And I think we forget sometimesthat we're actually not just
raising our kids, we're raisingthe parents of our grandkids.
Dawn Rosinger (19:37):
Moms and dads, we want you to know that God is
looking to you, to embrace thisresponsibility and fully accept
your spiritual role and identity.
Again, this passage inDeuteronomy is written to
parents and we know this becauseit goes on to say this in verse
seven Repeat them again andagain to your children.
Talk about them when you are athome and when you are on the
(19:59):
road, when you're going to bedand when you're getting up.
Tie them to your hands and wearthem on your forehead as
reminders.
Write them on the doorposts ofyour house and on your gates.
Again, just to hear that.
Repeat them again and again toyour children.
But you know what?
There is a warning If you don'tspiritually lead your children,
someone else or something well,someone else will take that
(20:21):
place, will step in and raiseyour child for you.
We see that over and over againright now.
Travis Rosinger (20:26):
Yeah, it's so important to remember that, moms
and dads, because I think thatevil is waiting for us to hold
back in our marriages, butespecially to in our parenting,
and it's gonna jump in there andit's gonna try to parent our
kids when we're like relaxingand not taking it seriously
enough.
Dawn Rosinger (20:44):
You know, a quote that really inspires me is from
Lindsay Bell, and she says thisthe goal of parenting isn't to
create perfect kids.
It's to point our kids to theperfect God.
I love that.
God is the perfect God.
We cannot, as parents, beperfect, so our goal is to point
our kids to a perfect God.
There's so much power in yourexample parents, moms and dads,
(21:07):
and the life that you live infront of your kids.
Again, they're watching you.
You have the seat right next tothem.
Travis Rosinger (21:14):
Yeah, clear example of parents and your
power to influence is a storythat I'm reminded of from Pastor
Robert Medoux.
He's down at a church calledDallas Social in the Dallas,
fort Worth, texas area, but hetells the story of a dog, a
police dog, that gets into a caraccident, in a squad car, and
it immediately loses the use ofits back legs.
(21:36):
But this dog is pregnant, it'sgot a litter of puppies, and so
the dog lives, but it has todrag its back legs.
But yet then it goes on acouple of days later after the
accident and it gives birth tothis litter of puppies, and so
the puppies seem healthy.
You know, everything's goinggreat, but after a few days the
people that are there with thedog and the puppies suddenly
(21:58):
start to realize somethingreally odd.
Everybody kind of gathersaround, they look over at these
puppies and they notice that thepuppies are walking with only
their front legs and they'redragging the backs of their legs
.
Parents, that needs to make uskind of question ourselves and
look at ourselves.
Are you the parent that'swalking with only two legs?
(22:21):
Spiritually, where are you atwith God?
How are you leading yourself?
How are you helping to leadyour marriage spiritually?
And then, what kind of animpact does that have on your
kids?
Just like that dog Again,parents, your kids are watching
you.
Dawn Rosinger (22:39):
I sure love that story, man.
That's a great physical pictureIf we think of this dog just
kind of walking on the frontlegs, dragging the back legs,
and then the puppies followingthe exact example, even though
they have four legs.
That can work and that's greatbecause, honestly, I feel like
sometimes our kids are watchingus and they're going to act to
respond the same exact way thatwe do.
(23:01):
What a great picture, what acool story.
Travis Rosinger (23:04):
Yeah, and parents, we're talking about our
spiritual influence, how God isusing you to impact your kids,
and so the second thing that wewant to give you today, as you
listen to this podcast, thesecond principle God wants you
to be aware of and to live by,is this God chose you to speak
words that give life and avoidwords that bring death.
(23:25):
In other words, you're hismouthpiece to your kids.
Your words matter.
I remember quite a few yearsago, when our kids were
elementary age, we had justbought a house.
We were finishing the basement.
I was the lead pastor, seniorpastor at a church.
I was finishing my master'sdegree.
Wow, we had so much going on inour lives.
(23:45):
Very busy season of life, crazybusy season, don.
You were doing almosteverything around the house,
even mowing the lawn.
But I remember we got away fora week of vacation.
I was so excited.
I thought, okay, this is ourmoment with our young kids to be
able to just rest, relax, laughand make memories together.
And so we were driving.
It was about four and a halfhours to our destination, but
(24:07):
the problem was, the closer wegot to where we were going to
vacation it was Grand Marais,minnesota the closer we got, the
more kids were arguing in thebackseat.
Dawn Rosinger (24:15):
They were at the age where they were just on each
other all the time.
Travis Rosinger (24:18):
They were going back and forth, yes, and so
they finally just hit a feverpitch of noise and intensity,
and we got really close to thetown and then I lost it.
I just wore thin and I justsaid, will you shut up, shut up.
But in that moment I droppedthe F-bomb and I knew I was oh,
(24:41):
an awful dad.
I had so screwed up.
Dawn Rosinger (24:44):
I know in that moment everyone was just silent.
I mean, it stopped the fighting.
But I think we were justshocked because you weren't the
type of person ever to cuss andyou don't cuss.
That's just not a part of whoyou are.
But in that moment, man, wejust took notice and your face
just dropped.
Yeah.
Travis Rosinger (25:02):
I.
It was horrible.
I mean, I had to immediatelyapologize, don to you, to the
kids, and own the fact that I'dgotten angry and I said this
terrible word.
But you know what?
The worst part wasn't having toown that.
The worst part was setting thewrong example and risking our
kids, who were in the backseat,remembering a dad who brought
words of death to the family andnot words of life.
(25:22):
And so from then on I decidedto be even more careful with my
words.
And I think of there's a parentthat I just talked about a
little bit ago in the OldTestament, hannah, that I had
mentioned, and she was so badlywanting to have a baby for her
and her husband.
And so one day she's at thetemple.
She says to God you know, allthese women around her are
(25:45):
having kids.
And she says to God God, wouldyou please give me a child, and
if you do, I'll dedicate himback to the Lord.
And that was her son, samuel.
God gave her a child.
She was pregnant, and then shedid, she gave him back to the
Lord.
And here's what it says in 1Samuel, chapter one, verse 24.
It says after he was weaned,she took the boy with her, young
as he was, along with thethree-year-old bull an ephah of
(26:08):
flour and a skin of wine andbrought him to the house of the
Lord at Shiloh.
When the bull had beensacrificed.
They brought the boy to Eli andshe said to him pardon me, my
Lord, as surely as you live, Iam the woman who stood here
beside you praying to the Lord.
I prayed for this child and theLord has granted me what I asked
of him.
So now I give him to the LordFor his whole life.
(26:29):
He will be given over to theLord, and he worshiped the Lord
there.
Did you guys hear that Samuel'smom spoke powerful words about
his spiritual future?
She said for his whole life hewill be given over to the Lord.
And it says and he worshipedthe Lord there.
Now I had to look it up.
Some translations do say thatthey worshiped the Lord there,
(26:52):
but whether it was Samuel andhis mom or just Samuel, the
point is Samuel was worshipingthe Lord there and her words are
already impacting him in themost important way possible.
Dawn Rosinger (27:05):
Our kids need to hear words that give life, just
like Hannah spoke, I mean, whenshe talks about him worshiping
God.
How powerful was that.
But our kids need to hear wordsthat bring life.
You know words.
You can be anything you wantwhen you grow up or you're going
to succeed.
God has great plans for you.
Just powerful words.
Travis Rosinger (27:26):
Yeah, those are good words.
Dawn Rosinger (27:27):
But honestly, there's especially good words
that you can speak to your kids.
Words like you know what, son,you're just a man of God.
Or, sweetie, you are deeplyspiritual.
Words like I can't believe howwell you pray.
I love listening to you pray.
God is proud of you.
Words that just really bringlife and encourage them in their
relationship with Jesus.
(27:47):
I appreciate Bob Goff as aperson, but I love this quote.
It says don't just tell themwho they are, tell them who they
are becoming man.
I just want to repeat thatagain Don't just tell them who
they are, tell them who they arebecoming.
Travis Rosinger (28:05):
Yeah, and that's exactly what Hannah was
doing when she said for hiswhole life, he will be given
over to the Lord, she wasspeaking about who he was
becoming.
Dawn Rosinger (28:14):
You know, when you go to speak, it's something
that you have to choose to doand I think as parents, we can
choose to actually be like averbal dam, kind of like what a
physical water dam does it holdsback water.
We can do that with our words,but we have to choose, as
parents, to not be a verbal dam.
We have to choose to speakwords of life and encouragement
(28:36):
and love over our kids over andover again Again, tell them who
they are becoming.
We have to make sure that weare being intentional about
speaking these words over them.
Travis Rosinger (28:47):
Well, man, this has been a ton of fun hanging
out with you guys.
I just want to remind you youare the number one spiritual
influencer in your kids' lives.
Don't ever forget that.
Don't underestimate the powerof your influence.
And the second thing we wantyou to remind remember is that
God shows you to speak wordsthat give life and avoid words
(29:09):
that bring death.
You're his mouthpiece.
Remember moms and dads.
If you are not on the same pagewith raising your kids, it's
going to be tough on your kids,but just as equally hard on your
marriage.
Get on the same page, takethese principles and use them
the way that God wants you toraise them.
Dawn Rosinger (29:28):
Well, this was part one of your spiritual
influence.
Join us next week for part two.
We just want to thank you forlistening to this episode of the
Loving the Fight MarriagePodcast.
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight, Well seeyou next time.
Hey everyone, welcome back to the Loving the
Fight Marriage podcast.
My name is Dawn and I'm sittinghere with my husband and also
my co-host, travis.
Travis Rosinger (00:20):
Yes, we're back and we're so glad to be hanging
out with you guys.
We are just in awe of the factthat you are tuning in, but also
that you are wanting to makeyour life and yourself better.
That's important it is.
That's a huge part of what thispodcast is about.
We want ourselves, Travis andDawn, to get better, but we want
(00:41):
to also do everything that wecan to encourage you.
Dawn Rosinger (00:44):
Absolutely, because every day is a learning
experience, right.
Travis Rosinger (00:46):
It really is.
I have to say there's newthings Like new stuff.
Dawn Rosinger (00:49):
Yep, well, we are just coming off of an awesome
weekend that we had with ourkids and our grandkids.
We had three days full of justquality time.
They came to our house andspent three days with us.
We're celebrating the holidaystwo holidays actually
Thanksgiving and Christmas allwithin one day of each other.
Travis Rosinger (01:09):
How did we do that?
That's crazy.
Dawn Rosinger (01:11):
It was a blast, but it was just fun having the
Christmas tree up and the kids.
We did this actually rightafter Thanksgiving, so kind of a
weird timing but so much fun.
Travis Rosinger (01:21):
Yeah, it was a blast All that time with our
kids, our adult children, andthen them having their kids with
them.
Boy, it really got us thinkinga lot about parents and
parenting and how that impactsmarriage Absolutely and the
relationship between a man and awoman, a husband and a wife,
(01:42):
and so we have a lot of respectfor parents.
We do.
Dawn Rosinger (01:46):
You know what I have to say really quick.
One of my best guess, myfavorite things in the world is
just being a mom.
I love being a mom.
I love having grandkids.
Man, it's just an incrediblething.
But being a parent andobviously being a mom and a dad
really affects marriage, right.
Oh man, it's just such animportant part, but everything
that we do as parents reallyaffects us in our marriage.
(02:07):
Well, recently I read the storyin the news and it was just
talking about different thingsthat parents do and how much we
invest into our kids.
Well, this news article went onto say that, as parents, you
will, on average, change betweenthree to 5,000 diapers per
child by the time that they arefully potty drained.
(02:28):
Like three to 5,000.
Travis Rosinger (02:29):
Oh my gosh, that's a lot of poop.
Let's just be honest, right,that's so many dirty diapers.
Dawn Rosinger (02:36):
Moms and dads, you guys are killing it out
there, so not only will youchange a lot of diapers, parents
, especially parents of youngerkids, you will lose an average
of three hours of sleep pernight, or a total of 133 nights
of sleep by the time your babyturns one.
So let's say you have two,three, four, five kids.
(02:56):
That's a lot of nights of sleepthat you are going to miss out
on.
Travis Rosinger (03:00):
No wonder there's so many guys out there
walking around that are bald andwives that are stressed out of
their minds.
Dawn Rosinger (03:08):
Well, not only are you going to lose sleep, but
, parents, you are going to getinto 2,000 and 184 arguments
with your kids every year.
That's yearly, I mean.
And then I'm like, wait, wellagain, what if you have two,
three, four, five kids?
Travis Rosinger (03:21):
Tons of pushback.
Dawn Rosinger (03:23):
That's a lot of arguments, but this is just a
huge number that this articletalked about.
The cost that you will pay toraise a child from birth to age
18 is 237,480.
That's a lot of money.
Again, times that by how manykids that you have.
(03:44):
That's a lot of commitment andhard work, but I wouldn't trade
it for anything Like.
I said being a parent was one ofthe best things that we got to
do and it was so fun to be ableto do that Travis with you
together as we co-parented ourkids.
Travis Rosinger (04:00):
Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun, but it was kind
of like flying an airplaneblindfolded, Like we're either
gonna stay up in the air orwe're gonna come crashing down
and it's gonna be one bigexplosion.
Dawn Rosinger (04:13):
Well, honestly, I think, parents, you have one of
the most difficult jobs on theplanet and also one of the most
rewarding jobs on the planet.
There's so many rewards thatcome with parenting, but God
obviously believes in you.
He gave you the gift of life inthis child and the ability to
watch over and nurture a childwho becomes a teenager and
eventually they become an adultwho eventually has kids of their
(04:35):
own.
Travis Rosinger (04:36):
Yeah, these are humans.
Mom and dads aren't growingcorn, it's not like some garden
out in their backyard, oranimals that are only gonna live
like 10 years.
Dawn Rosinger (04:46):
These are humans that live like 80 years and have
the ability to have generationsof offspring.
Oh my gosh.
Travis Rosinger (04:54):
Well, don, I remember back when you and I
first got married, we gotpregnant really quickly and then
we went to give birth and Ijust remember you went into a
labor camp and you had labor,had contractions.
I drove you to the hospital andit was a really fun experience.
Of course, there's pain.
You're giving birth.
It was probably more fun foryou than it was for me at that
(05:15):
moment it probably was, but werolled in and we got to go back
then one of those shiny suburbankind of newer hospitals.
Dawn Rosinger (05:22):
Oh, we had a first class hospital.
It was awesome.
It was incredible.
Travis Rosinger (05:26):
Right in the Twin Cities Minneapolis area,
and so we rolled into this placeand right away they just
started waiting on us, hand andfoot.
And they like the nurses werelike hey, you need a glass of
water, here's a pillow.
They had a comfy couch therefor me.
There was free TV, you knowloads of snacks.
They would bring you all thesemeals.
They'd give me meals as well,and I mean we were just kind of
(05:48):
living it up in between.
You know, these contractions.
Dawn Rosinger (05:51):
Well, in between the contractions, yeah, but it
was.
You again were living it upmore it was a posh place.
Travis Rosinger (05:56):
I mean, it was beautiful.
And then you went to give birth, don, and the birth went really
, really well and they justcontinued to spoil us.
I remember at one point a nurselooked at me and she's like hey
, you see that room right acrossthe hall from from your
hospital room here.
She's like that is loaded withtons of snacks and free food for
all of the expecting parents.
(06:17):
Go raid the place as often asyou want, and it was.
It was so fun.
So I did.
As you can tell I'm talkingabout it more than you are, but
like I went in there and scoopedup so much food.
But we guys, we were just acouple blue collar kids Sitting
in this hospital.
You know, we just gave birth.
They're treating us likeroyalty and we feel like we're
at an all inclusive.
Dawn Rosinger (06:38):
We've never been on all inclusive, but here you
go.
Travis Rosinger (06:41):
We're like is this the Caribbean?
Are we on an island somewhere?
I mean, we are being treated so, so well.
Well, everything was goingincredibly well until they
suddenly hit the brakes.
I could hear the screeching ofthe of the tires on the road.
When they said all right, yourtime's up, you got to go home.
And I looked at him.
I kind of got whiplash.
I looked at him and I was likehold on a second.
(07:02):
You haven't given us like aclass on parenting, you.
You haven't set up an on thejob.
You know at home instructiontime.
You know to teach us how to beparents.
Dawn Rosinger (07:14):
And you didn't give us a parenting manual,
manual with instructions.
Travis Rosinger (07:17):
Yeah, now you're going to send us home
with this human and for a momentI thought this can't be legal,
like they don't have a right tosend us home with a real human
being.
Dawn Rosinger (07:27):
Did they know who we were?
Yeah, we were, we were.
Travis Rosinger (07:29):
We were so young and had just finished
being teenagers ourselves andnow we're suddenly going to be
raising kids.
Well, you know, honestly, wesurvived and our two kids
survived on.
You just said a second ago howwe had Thanksgiving and
Christmas with our kids.
So obviously they're alive,they've had kids and we're so
(07:50):
grateful for the family that Godhas given us.
And as crazy as it sounds to bethrown into raising a child
without a manual or a class oron the job training, you know,
honestly, moms and dads outthere, I actually think that
that's the way that God intendsit to be, and here's why the
ability to raise a child wasalready built within you.
(08:10):
You don't need a manual, it'salready there.
Now I think back to when I wasa kid.
Don, I want to hear your takeon this, but remember back when
we were kids, there were likeonly two ways to raise a kid.
There were the parents thatspank their kids and the parents
that would ground their kids.
Dawn Rosinger (08:28):
That's true.
Two ways to their bedroomsright.
Travis Rosinger (08:31):
And I was always jealous of the kids that
got grounded where all the toyswere at in their bedrooms.
Dawn Rosinger (08:38):
So obviously I know what type of host that you
were raised in.
It was not the home that hadthe toys, it was not.
You got to go and relax, it wasnot always fun.
Travis Rosinger (08:47):
It worked, but it was not always fun.
But here's, here's my point.
Moms and dads, those of youthat are listening you are in a
world that doesn't just have twostyles of parenting, like it
was back when I was a kid andDon was a kid man.
There are millions and millionsof different ideas and ways
that people are pushing on you.
Even as you listen to this,you're probably thinking of oh,
(09:08):
I heard this person say I shouldbe this kind of parent or that
kind of parent.
Dawn Rosinger (09:11):
It's something like sleep training, like that's
a new concept, that's the typeof parenting that you have.
So, you know, with your kids,when it comes to sleeping, your
sleep training them like, oh,that's interesting yeah.
Travis Rosinger (09:21):
And some of it's good and some of it's like
huh, where did this come from?
I'm not sure, like, if I shouldbe using it or not.
I even think of that.
There was an influencer thissummer who had millions of
followers on, you know, youtubeand this lady ended up getting
arrested.
Dawn Rosinger (09:36):
Yeah, I've actually.
I remember seeing that her onthe news.
I was shocked.
Travis Rosinger (09:39):
Yeah, she was doing a video, a vlog, of you
know how to raise children anddo it right.
And they ended up arresting herbecause her kids were tied up
and they had cuts and openwounds and they were trying to
escape from their mom to get outof the house to survive.
Dawn Rosinger (09:55):
Yeah, and it's crazy because she had, like,
millions of followers.
Travis Rosinger (09:58):
She did so many and you know, here are parents
trying to learn from her andthen she's hurting her kids.
Yeah, she's a horrible parent,not the kind of person you want
to be learning from.
So, moms and dads, in thisworld of confusion about how to
raise your kids, it's reallyhard to know what the right way
is.
I mean, raising your kids hasso much less to do with your
(10:19):
kids and way more to do with youas parents.
Not that your kids aren'timportant, but, moms and dads,
you are so important in yourmarriage but especially, too,
with your kids.
Our society, of course, isgoing to tell you that the right
way to raise a kid or a child,a teenager, is to just let them
decide and you know what, getbehind that, support them in
(10:42):
that or let them find their owntruth and also support that or
their own identity and reinforcethat.
But we know that that won'twork.
It doesn't work.
It's only going to end infailure.
Dawn Rosinger (10:55):
So why are we talking about parenting when
this is a marriage podcast?
We're talking about it becauseit has everything to do with
marriage.
Travis Rosinger (11:02):
Parenting affects your marriage and vice
versa, marriage affects yourparenting it really does, and
couples got to be on the samepage with how they raise their
kids and understanding the valueof parenthood or the impact of
being parents and what that doesto your children.
Dawn Rosinger (11:21):
We recently had an opportunity to just encourage
and challenge parents in a fewdifferent settings and there was
a question that we got and itwas honestly.
It was about how do you model ahealthy relationship in a
marriage for your kids, and thatwas such a relevant question
and, man, the answers that camein were phenomenal.
But it's so important.
Your kids are watching youmodel your marriage and they're
(11:43):
also watching your parentingstyle.
So today and next week, we'rejust going to talk about
parenting and we're going togive you four foundational
principles that we believe Godwants you to be aware of and to
live by as parents.
The first principle is this Godchose you and trusts you to be
the number one spiritualinfluence in your child's life.
(12:04):
He didn't choose Cocoa Melonand he didn't choose Taylor
Swift.
He chose you.
You're the ultimate influencerin your kids life and I think
that's such a concept that wehave to grasp.
Like you, god picked you.
Travis Rosinger (12:18):
Yeah, and we've got to remember too, we're not
just raising kids, we're raisingadults.
I mean, after all, these littlehumans that run around our
house, I mean, they're only kidsfor a small portion of their
life, most of their lives,they're adults.
I know absolutely, and reallyit's just this idea of being a
strong spiritual influence inthese future adult's lives.
Dawn Rosinger (12:40):
You know, when your child was born, your
identity forever changed and youinstantly became a leader to
another person who has a body, amind and a spirit, a person who
will live for eternity eitherclose to God in heaven or a
person who will live eternallyseparated from God.
I don't like to necessarily saythat we don't want to talk
about that all the time, butit's true.
(13:01):
It's a big leadershipresponsibility.
Parents, you are leaders.
You're leaders of your kids.
Travis Rosinger (13:07):
Yeah, and there's some really great
examples of parents who areleaders in the Bible.
I mean, I immediately think ofHannah in the Old Testament, a
mom who couldn't get pregnant.
She finally does.
And what does she do?
She brings her son Samuel, thefuture High Priest of Israel, to
the temple.
She dedicates him to God.
I think of Mary and Joseph inthe New Testament, the parents
(13:28):
of Jesus, and how, on the eighthday of Jesus' life, I mean,
he's just this little baby theybring him to the temple and they
dedicate him to God.
You know.
Dawn Rosinger (13:38):
These are really great examples because they
embrace their identity asspiritual leaders of their
children, of these eternalbeings.
They brought their children toGod.
Parents, your spiritual missionis to bring your children to
God.
I know some of you may thinkyou know, wait, how can I be the
spiritual leader for my kidsthat God wants me to be when I
(13:58):
just blow it all the time?
And you know what I think thatof myself and I think back to
you know different times as whenour kids were, you know,
growing up that man, I blew it.
But parents, you are theabsolute best one to lead your
children spiritually.
Yes, you might blow it.
No, not that you might.
You will blow it.
You might feel like a failureat times, but guess what?
(14:18):
God chose you anyways.
He knew that you would blow it,that you would fail, but you
were handpicked by God for this.
He knew what he was doing whenhe gave you your kids and he
knew what he was doing when hegave us our two kids.
I mean, we were young, wedidn't have a lot of experience,
but God still chose us.
Travis Rosinger (14:36):
Yeah, I think back to a time that I blew it.
My son, our son Don, was 15 andhe had landed a spot on the
adult church band and I was apastor at this senior pastor at
this church, and he was hangingout with the adults and they
were about ready to do bandpractice and I had been had a
long day was was there too, waytoo late and I was kind of
walking through the auditoriumand he said something to me and
(14:59):
it kind of came out when hesideways because he kind of said
it disrespectfully.
Dawn Rosinger (15:02):
Well, he was 15, right.
Travis Rosinger (15:04):
Imagine what that tone was Kind of his job,
those 2000 arguments every year,but yeah, but I blew it by
making the mistake of giving itback to him.
And once I did I mean I didn'tyell, but I was kind of rude
back to him out loud.
Then I looked over and I sawall those adults and I was like,
oh my gosh, I just humiliatedmy son in front of all these
(15:25):
people he looks up to.
He's learning from him.
So I had to go back to everysingle one of those adults and I
apologized.
Then I went to my son I saidlook, I'm so sorry, I
embarrassed you, I blew it.
I asked all those people forforgiveness.
Would you forgive me?
And again, at that moment, whenI kind of went off on them, you
know, I realized that I blew itbecause we praise in public and
(15:46):
we correct in private.
But he was kind enough toforgive me.
And as bad of a dad as I was inthat moment, guess what?
Like you were saying, don Godchose me, he chose us to be
parents.
Dawn Rosinger (15:58):
He did Yep Even though we had no manual and we
have many stories about how weblew it.
Yeah, lots.
Travis Rosinger (16:03):
And he chooses imperfect people parents to do
some of his best work.
So, moms and dads, if you're atall discouraged right now,
don't be.
God is with you.
Dawn Rosinger (16:12):
You know you're being the most important
spiritual leader in your kids'lives is exactly the way God
views you.
So I just have to ask you rightnow is that how you view
yourself?
Do you view yourself as themost important spiritual leader?
Well, you should.
Your children learn the mostabout God from watching your
life, both the good and the bad.
That's why we parents are givenvery specific instructions in
(16:35):
the Bible on how to live infront of our children.
In Deuteronomy 6, 4, it saysthis Listen, o Israel, the Lord
is our God, the Lord alone, andyou must love the Lord, your God
, with all your heart, all yoursoul and all your strength, and
you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands
that I am giving you today.
Those words are so importantbecause Jesus actually says them
(16:57):
again in the New Testament.
But this was written thisDeuteronomy 6,.
It was written to parents,because when you love God, your
children, they're going to knowit.
Loving God is probably the mostimportant and powerful thing
you could ever do to positivelyimpact your kids throughout
their lives.
Travis Rosinger (17:14):
Yeah, you know something that happened to us
and I don't know how it did, butjust by it just kind of
unfolded.
I think we were about maybe sixmonths into parenting, you know
, with our son, and one night Ijust went to put him to bed and
I sang Jesus loves me with him.
And then the next night cameand I sang it again, and then I
(17:35):
sang it again, and then I sangit again.
Yeah, and it was just likethree years ago when our son had
his first child.
All of a sudden he's puttingour grandson to bed and in the
distance we could hear himsinging Jesus loves me with our
grandson and it just melted ourheart in that moment, while you
hear that powerful song, andthen you're him singing over our
(17:58):
grandson.
It was awesome and I was like,well, wait a second, how'd that
happen?
I mean, I didn't tell him heneeded to do that with his son,
I didn't teach him, you got todo this.
We just sang it together as aworship song to God.
Even though it's written, Ithink, for little kids like we
would just worship God everynight.
And so he started passing thaton to his kid.
(18:19):
And now our daughter has twolittle girls, and one of them,
sweet little Lenora.
She's about three years old andso she has discovered this song
Jesus loves me, I'm assumingfrom her mom singing it to her
or dad every night.
But it's kind of funny.
We'll be in the car drivingacross our city, our metro area,
and she knows all the words tothe song Jesus loves me, but she
(18:43):
doesn't know how to say thename of the song.
She just says more Jesus, moreJesus, and we know that means
Jesus loves me Not only a littlebit.
Dawn Rosinger (18:52):
She freaks out.
Travis Rosinger (18:52):
She's like more Jesus, more Jesus, more Jesus
she screams and the minute weturn it on it's like she gets
really quiet and she startssinging the song and she's like
caught up into somewhere else,like she loves it.
And then she's figured outthere's this lady named Alexa
who will sing it to her, and soshe'll scream at Alexa in our
home and say, alexa, more Jesus,more Jesus.
The whole point of why we'retelling you this story is that,
(19:16):
moms and dads, the love that youhave for God in your life, it's
got a ripple effect as parents.
It's gonna ripple effect notonly into your kids' lives, but
also into your grandkids' lives.
And I think we forget sometimesthat we're actually not just
raising our kids, we're raisingthe parents of our grandkids.
Dawn Rosinger (19:37):
Moms and dads, we want you to know that God is
looking to you, to embrace thisresponsibility and fully accept
your spiritual role and identity.
Again, this passage inDeuteronomy is written to
parents and we know this becauseit goes on to say this in verse
seven Repeat them again andagain to your children.
Talk about them when you are athome and when you are on the
(19:59):
road, when you're going to bedand when you're getting up.
Tie them to your hands and wearthem on your forehead as
reminders.
Write them on the doorposts ofyour house and on your gates.
Again, just to hear that.
Repeat them again and again toyour children.
But you know what?
There is a warning If you don'tspiritually lead your children,
someone else or something well,someone else will take that
(20:21):
place, will step in and raiseyour child for you.
We see that over and over againright now.
Travis Rosinger (20:26):
Yeah, it's so important to remember that, moms
and dads, because I think thatevil is waiting for us to hold
back in our marriages, butespecially to in our parenting,
and it's gonna jump in there andit's gonna try to parent our
kids when we're like relaxingand not taking it seriously
enough.
Dawn Rosinger (20:44):
You know, a quote that really inspires me is from
Lindsay Bell, and she says thisthe goal of parenting isn't to
create perfect kids.
It's to point our kids to theperfect God.
I love that.
God is the perfect God.
We cannot, as parents, beperfect, so our goal is to point
our kids to a perfect God.
There's so much power in yourexample parents, moms and dads,
(21:07):
and the life that you live infront of your kids.
Again, they're watching you.
You have the seat right next tothem.
Travis Rosinger (21:14):
Yeah, clear example of parents and your
power to influence is a storythat I'm reminded of from Pastor
Robert Medoux.
He's down at a church calledDallas Social in the Dallas,
fort Worth, texas area, but hetells the story of a dog, a
police dog, that gets into a caraccident, in a squad car, and
it immediately loses the use ofits back legs.
(21:36):
But this dog is pregnant, it'sgot a litter of puppies, and so
the dog lives, but it has todrag its back legs.
But yet then it goes on acouple of days later after the
accident and it gives birth tothis litter of puppies, and so
the puppies seem healthy.
You know, everything's goinggreat, but after a few days the
people that are there with thedog and the puppies suddenly
(21:58):
start to realize somethingreally odd.
Everybody kind of gathersaround, they look over at these
puppies and they notice that thepuppies are walking with only
their front legs and they'redragging the backs of their legs
.
Parents, that needs to make uskind of question ourselves and
look at ourselves.
Are you the parent that'swalking with only two legs?
(22:21):
Spiritually, where are you atwith God?
How are you leading yourself?
How are you helping to leadyour marriage spiritually?
And then, what kind of animpact does that have on your
kids?
Just like that dog Again,parents, your kids are watching
you.
Dawn Rosinger (22:39):
I sure love that story, man.
That's a great physical pictureIf we think of this dog just
kind of walking on the frontlegs, dragging the back legs,
and then the puppies followingthe exact example, even though
they have four legs.
That can work and that's greatbecause, honestly, I feel like
sometimes our kids are watchingus and they're going to act to
respond the same exact way thatwe do.
(23:01):
What a great picture, what acool story.
Travis Rosinger (23:04):
Yeah, and parents, we're talking about our
spiritual influence, how God isusing you to impact your kids,
and so the second thing that wewant to give you today, as you
listen to this podcast, thesecond principle God wants you
to be aware of and to live by,is this God chose you to speak
words that give life and avoidwords that bring death.
(23:25):
In other words, you're hismouthpiece to your kids.
Your words matter.
I remember quite a few yearsago, when our kids were
elementary age, we had justbought a house.
We were finishing the basement.
I was the lead pastor, seniorpastor at a church.
I was finishing my master'sdegree.
Wow, we had so much going on inour lives.
(23:45):
Very busy season of life, crazybusy season, don.
You were doing almosteverything around the house,
even mowing the lawn.
But I remember we got away fora week of vacation.
I was so excited.
I thought, okay, this is ourmoment with our young kids to be
able to just rest, relax, laughand make memories together.
And so we were driving.
It was about four and a halfhours to our destination, but
(24:07):
the problem was, the closer wegot to where we were going to
vacation it was Grand Marais,minnesota the closer we got, the
more kids were arguing in thebackseat.
Dawn Rosinger (24:15):
They were at the age where they were just on each
other all the time.
Travis Rosinger (24:18):
They were going back and forth, yes, and so
they finally just hit a feverpitch of noise and intensity,
and we got really close to thetown and then I lost it.
I just wore thin and I justsaid, will you shut up, shut up.
But in that moment I droppedthe F-bomb and I knew I was oh,
(24:41):
an awful dad.
I had so screwed up.
Dawn Rosinger (24:44):
I know in that moment everyone was just silent.
I mean, it stopped the fighting.
But I think we were justshocked because you weren't the
type of person ever to cuss andyou don't cuss.
That's just not a part of whoyou are.
But in that moment, man, wejust took notice and your face
just dropped.
Yeah.
Travis Rosinger (25:02):
I.
It was horrible.
I mean, I had to immediatelyapologize, don to you, to the
kids, and own the fact that I'dgotten angry and I said this
terrible word.
But you know what?
The worst part wasn't having toown that.
The worst part was setting thewrong example and risking our
kids, who were in the backseat,remembering a dad who brought
words of death to the family andnot words of life.
(25:22):
And so from then on I decidedto be even more careful with my
words.
And I think of there's a parentthat I just talked about a
little bit ago in the OldTestament, hannah, that I had
mentioned, and she was so badlywanting to have a baby for her
and her husband.
And so one day she's at thetemple.
She says to God you know, allthese women around her are
(25:45):
having kids.
And she says to God God, wouldyou please give me a child, and
if you do, I'll dedicate himback to the Lord.
And that was her son, samuel.
God gave her a child.
She was pregnant, and then shedid, she gave him back to the
Lord.
And here's what it says in 1Samuel, chapter one, verse 24.
It says after he was weaned,she took the boy with her, young
as he was, along with thethree-year-old bull an ephah of
(26:08):
flour and a skin of wine andbrought him to the house of the
Lord at Shiloh.
When the bull had beensacrificed.
They brought the boy to Eli andshe said to him pardon me, my
Lord, as surely as you live, Iam the woman who stood here
beside you praying to the Lord.
I prayed for this child and theLord has granted me what I asked
of him.
So now I give him to the LordFor his whole life.
(26:29):
He will be given over to theLord, and he worshiped the Lord
there.
Did you guys hear that Samuel'smom spoke powerful words about
his spiritual future?
She said for his whole life hewill be given over to the Lord.
And it says and he worshipedthe Lord there.
Now I had to look it up.
Some translations do say thatthey worshiped the Lord there,
(26:52):
but whether it was Samuel andhis mom or just Samuel, the
point is Samuel was worshipingthe Lord there and her words are
already impacting him in themost important way possible.
Dawn Rosinger (27:05):
Our kids need to hear words that give life, just
like Hannah spoke, I mean, whenshe talks about him worshiping
God.
How powerful was that.
But our kids need to hear wordsthat bring life.
You know words.
You can be anything you wantwhen you grow up or you're going
to succeed.
God has great plans for you.
Just powerful words.
Travis Rosinger (27:26):
Yeah, those are good words.
Dawn Rosinger (27:27):
But honestly, there's especially good words
that you can speak to your kids.
Words like you know what, son,you're just a man of God.
Or, sweetie, you are deeplyspiritual.
Words like I can't believe howwell you pray.
I love listening to you pray.
God is proud of you.
Words that just really bringlife and encourage them in their
relationship with Jesus.
(27:47):
I appreciate Bob Goff as aperson, but I love this quote.
It says don't just tell themwho they are, tell them who they
are becoming man.
I just want to repeat thatagain Don't just tell them who
they are, tell them who they arebecoming.
Travis Rosinger (28:05):
Yeah, and that's exactly what Hannah was
doing when she said for hiswhole life, he will be given
over to the Lord, she wasspeaking about who he was
becoming.
Dawn Rosinger (28:14):
You know, when you go to speak, it's something
that you have to choose to doand I think as parents, we can
choose to actually be like averbal dam, kind of like what a
physical water dam does it holdsback water.
We can do that with our words,but we have to choose, as
parents, to not be a verbal dam.
We have to choose to speakwords of life and encouragement
(28:36):
and love over our kids over andover again Again, tell them who
they are becoming.
We have to make sure that weare being intentional about
speaking these words over them.
Travis Rosinger (28:47):
Well, man, this has been a ton of fun hanging
out with you guys.
I just want to remind you youare the number one spiritual
influencer in your kids' lives.
Don't ever forget that.
Don't underestimate the powerof your influence.
And the second thing we wantyou to remind remember is that
God shows you to speak wordsthat give life and avoid words
(29:09):
that bring death.
You're his mouthpiece.
Remember moms and dads.
If you are not on the same pagewith raising your kids, it's
going to be tough on your kids,but just as equally hard on your
marriage.
Get on the same page, takethese principles and use them
the way that God wants you toraise them.
Dawn Rosinger (29:28):
Well, this was part one of your spiritual
influence.
Join us next week for part two.
We just want to thank you forlistening to this episode of the
Loving the Fight MarriagePodcast.
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight, Well seeyou next time.
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