February 6, 2024 • 26 mins
We live in a world where if someone has a talent, a platform, athleticism or beauty then we suddenly feel like we have to build them an altar and worship them for what could possibly be God given, superficial or fake. Even if what they have is real, should we really be pouring our attention and adoration on people who may ultimately fail us? Maybe not. What if there was a real hero who was worth our attention that could change our marriage in ways we never dreamed? Guess what? There is. The Marriage Hero exist!
Join hosts Travis and Dawn Rosinger as they focus on how every marriage needs a marriage hero, someone who has the ability to shape attitudes, actions and beliefs, a person who can enter the center of any relationship and save the day. Heroes do heroic things. How about inviting the ultimate hero to come save your marriage and make it better? This episode is listenable, shareable, and one you won't want to miss!
Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping - What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You
For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dawn Rosinger (00:12):
Well, if you're tuning in today and you're
looking to learn a lesson froman influencer, an Academy Award
winner, a gold medalist or asuperstar singer, musician who
travels the world, then you'redefinitely listening to the
wrong podcast.
But if you want to hear fromreal people living real lives
and fighting for what mattersmost, then you're in the right
(00:32):
place.
On that note, I want to welcomeyou to the Loving the Fight
Marriage Podcast.
My name is Dawn and I'm sittinghere with my husband and my
co-host, travis.
Travis Rosinger (00:40):
Wow, you nailed it, Dawn.
Yes, I'm Travis, but I lovethat intro because it's true
we're just regular people andwe're fighting the good fight.
We're so glad that you guys aretuning in and listening today.
Dawn Rosinger (00:53):
Well, I'm sure you're wondering why did I kick
off this episode with the factthat we're just everyday, real
people with normalfive-day-a-week jobs, people who
don't have some crazy platformand, honestly, we don't want one
?
Travis Rosinger (01:05):
Nope, why did we start off?
Dawn Rosinger (01:07):
this episode that way?
Well, because it's actually thetopic of our episode today.
We love heroes.
We love heroes, but not allheroes.
We believe more in everydayheroes than we do with the
models, the actors andinfluencers that live lives that
aren't that real, anywaythey're just fake.
Travis Rosinger (01:25):
They're not.
So many of those lives are justlike in front of a camera or
kind of put together so thatthey look a certain way they're
untouchable.
Unreal not relatable.
Dawn Rosinger (01:39):
Most of what we see in those who are famous is
what their publicist or maybetheir PR person wants us to see.
But I think, travis, you and Ipersonally as a couple and as
individuals, need heroes thatare like you guys, that are
listening to the regular peoplewho are fighting for their
marriages and fighting to growas a person, while holding down
the craziness of normal lifethat's just filled with jobs and
(02:01):
kids, overflowing calendars andthe pressure to stay healthy
with no time left in your day.
Sometimes we get to bed likewhere did that day just go?
Travis Rosinger (02:09):
Yeah, oh man, these are the best kind of
heroes, the kind of heroes thatlive real lives and they're not
fake.
And yet, somehow they're livingfor what's right, what matters,
and they're doing the best theycan.
And they're not only surviving,they're thriving.
Those are the best kind ofheroes.
I love those kind of heroes.
Dawn Rosinger (02:29):
And there are so many of those heroes listening
right now.
And that's what we are.
We're just like you, just tworegular people, Travis and Don.
We're broken and flawedindividuals who still get
irritated over small, goofythings and we say and do stupid
things at times, but who loveJesus and need his help to
accomplish anything of value inour lives.
We know we're nothing withoutJesus.
Travis Rosinger (02:51):
Oh man, we absolutely need him.
And the reality is we're nottrying to say we're heroes,
we're just trying to say we'reregular, everyday people trying
to do heroic things, trying tofight the good fight, and it is
so much fun, it is such aprivilege to be alive and to be
making a difference in the world.
(03:11):
As many of you that arelistening, that's what you're
doing every day and it matters.
Now, sadly, as we think aboutheroes, our heroes have died
more than once.
What do we mean?
Well, so many of the peoplethat we have looked up to that
we kind of propped up as kidsDon you and I grown up, yeah,
idolized kind of yeah idolized.
(03:33):
So many of them have let us down.
Many of the famous heroes seemto fall into trouble and fail us
every day.
Now, hold that thought.
We want to talk, though forjust a second, about some of
those heroes that we had growingup.
Don, what about you?
And we're not talking aboutheroes that did fail, it's just
like hey, who did you idolize?
(03:53):
Who did you look up to growingup as a young person?
Dawn Rosinger (03:57):
Well, the heroes I feel like were not, that
weren't touchable in my life,meaning that they were really
big.
I was into sports, so I keepthinking of like Michael Jordan
and Magic Johnson, because I wasbasketball fans.
So I was like, hey, those areeveryday heroes.
Did I ever meet them?
No, well, I ever meet them.
Yeah, I remember as well myfirst songs, christian CDs, back
in the day.
I'm going to date myself alittle bit.
Travis Rosinger (04:17):
I was going to say what are CDs?
That's where you put money inthe bank cash on deposit.
I'm kidding, but like that'sfrom a way back, right
absolutely Well.
Dawn Rosinger (04:26):
You know, some of my favorite Christian CDs back
in the day were Amy Grant andMichael W Smith.
Those were some of my first CDsand I just they were my heroes
because I loved their voice andI loved the way they sing and I
loved what they were singingabout.
But then I'd had some otherheroes who you know, I was able
to sometimes meet, you know, geta hug from or talk about their
(04:46):
life, and there were justspeakers that were at my camps,
or speakers who came to mychurch, maybe missionaries or
people who live these crazy wildlives for Jesus, and I was just
always amazed at all that theydid, and so they were my
everyday heroes.
Travis Rosinger (05:00):
Yeah, those are some good ones, and especially
Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson.
Dawn Rosinger (05:05):
I just love their haircuts Right yeah, they were
really good basketball players.
They have great haircuts, butkiller basketball players.
Travis Rosinger (05:10):
Yeah, I think.
Growing up as I think back, youknow, to my younger years, even
my teenage years, I rememberbuying the number one issue for
Spider-Man and as a young personI just like fell in love with
the idea of comic book heroes orsuper heroes.
Dawn Rosinger (05:29):
You have some of those still.
I still do.
The last time we moved, Iremember looking in your memory
box.
I'm like there's some of yourcomic books.
They're there in plastic.
They're probably worth money.
I think they're in perfectcondition.
We should sell them.
Travis Rosinger (05:38):
They're probably worth five bucks or a
half a million.
I have no idea Not gonna getrid of them.
But yeah, spider-man, I alwaysthought, wow, this is so cool,
what a great story.
You know, this guy, who Ibelieve is his dad, grandfather
who was raising him, gets killedor his grandma, and then he
goes around and he fights.
The bad guys Love that story,or the Green Lantern was another
(05:58):
one of them.
I also looked up to politiciansand you could tell I was
younger than-.
Dawn Rosinger (06:04):
Yeah, you must have wised up since then, don't
really?
Travis Rosinger (06:07):
have that same.
You know, idolization, I guess,of those kinds of people.
But I mean, I love the onesfrom American history.
You know, like people likeAbraham Lincoln or George
Washington, I was fascinated bythem.
But also you know, like RonaldReagan or John F Kennedy, some
really great politicians interms of how they carried
(06:27):
themselves, how they behaved andsome of the things that they
would do as they led.
But of course, kind of like you,Don, growing up in church I had
some incredible pastors.
I think one of them was myyouth pastor, who was also a
speech writer, and I probablytalked to him about him before
on this podcast, but he wouldcome be our youth pastor on
Wednesday night, but he I had afull-time job of writing
(06:49):
speeches for politicians.
Oh, that's pretty cool, yeah,yeah, and the Congress there in
the state of Arizona, and so hewas so intelligent, so fun to be
around him, just like, and thenhe just oozed, Jesus, he was
such a cool guy.
But then, of course, I meanthose are heroes that we've
idolized, looked up to and thatyou know we're great heroes, but
we've also had heroes who havefailed us.
(07:11):
I mean, as you think, Don, whocomes to your mind, like not
naming names, but a hero thathas failed you.
Dawn Rosinger (07:17):
You know, I think when I think of like
untouchable heroes, people thatpeople look up to, I feel like
there's certain presidents thatwe have had in our past and like
, wow, they've done something.
You're like, ooh, likedefinitely they failed you.
They no longer were a hero andobviously they're not in our
everyday life.
But I also have other people.
That man, I knew them well, wehad relationships with them and
(07:39):
they were just like pastors orpeople that I looked up to in my
church and they decided thatthey were gonna explore drinking
and they eventually left theministry and church, divorced
their wife and they walked awayfrom God.
So people that was like, wow,they have it all together and
I'm like, wow, they actually atsome point took their eyes off
Jesus, walked away and lefteverything behind and I was so
(07:59):
disappointed.
I remember just, even just as ateenager, how that affected
just my view, but just my faith,even.
Travis Rosinger (08:05):
Yeah, it's shocking and not to put them
down because that's not thepoint of this episode or this
podcast, but it's shockingbecause we think they can do no
wrong and we love them and we'regrateful for how they're
modeling Jesus.
Dawn Rosinger (08:17):
I'm really thankful now, though, that I
realize that my faith is not putin a person at all, because
people will fail us, like Iunderstand.
My faith is solid because myfaith is in Jesus and not people
so that's helped me as I'vegotten older.
Travis Rosinger (08:30):
Such a great point.
I know for me, growing up tooas a young pastor and I first
started out almost 30 years agothere was a man who led a large
church and was revered as one ofthe greatest speakers in the US
and incredible growing churchand just doing a really, really
good job communicating the Bible, and we would read his books as
(08:51):
I went to school to be a pastorand even for a master's degree.
But then now it seems like thatsame man is starting to rewrite
the Bible to make it convenient, for His theology is definitely
changing.
It's not correct anymore, andso it's like oh, what's going on
?
I mean, you used to stand fortruth and what's right, and now
(09:12):
he's just kind of anything goes,and so it's so sad.
But I think what we're gettingat is heroes are human, heroes
are needed, but heroes can alsofail us and even though they
fail us, we still need themdesperately, and I think we
especially need everyday heroes,like those of you that are
(09:32):
listening Now.
We also need to know what ittakes to be a hero Again, even
though we can get disappointedor let down by our heroes.
We need to analyze that andthink okay, what is a hero.
What does it mean?
And so one thing I always tryto remember whenever a famous
hero fails us, or an everydayhero I know fails us, I always
(09:53):
try to remember that there are athousand more other heroes who
have never failed us and neverwill you see?
I think that evil tries to getus to think that if somebody in
the church that's reallypowerful and successful and does
a great job, if they fail us,well, all the leaders are bad in
the church.
Or if somebody you know, apolitician, if they fail us and
(10:16):
they do bad things in the WhiteHouse, well then they're all bad
.
You know every less and youknow what.
That's not true.
There are so many great famousheroes out there, but especially
everyday heroes.
Dawn Rosinger (10:26):
We keep saying the word hero or heroes.
What is a hero?
Well, according to OxfordLanguages Dictionary, a hero is
a person who is admired oridealized for courage,
outstanding achievements ornoble qualities.
Travis Rosinger (10:40):
That's good, I love that.
Dawn Rosinger (10:41):
According to Miriam Webster's Dictionary, a
hero is a person admired forachievements and noble qualities
, one who shows great courage.
Those are great definitions and, with those definitions in mind
, we believe that there's reallyonly one perfect, one ultimate
hero.
Yes, there are many heroes thatwill never fail us and are
(11:03):
worth learning from theirpositive example, but none of
them are perfect.
They will all make mistakes,they will all fail short, if you
think about it we will all failshort.
Travis Rosinger (11:13):
Oh man, I let you down all the time, don, and
okay, maybe you never let medown.
Dawn Rosinger (11:17):
I just kidding.
Travis Rosinger (11:17):
I always let you down, but you know we're not
perfect, and that's so true.
Dawn Rosinger (11:21):
Because we're humans, so humans will always
let each other down.
Travis Rosinger (11:24):
Yes.
Dawn Rosinger (11:25):
But you know what ?
There is the perfect hero, theultimate hero in his name is
Jesus.
Jesus is the one true hero.
So, when you think of the pain,the rejection and the agony
that Jesus went through to notonly demonstrate love but to
actually provide us a bridge toGod, an example of one who is
love, no one else in all ofhistory ever will compare Wow,
(11:49):
jesus is the ultimate hero, theone true hero.
He's the one all of us should belooking to and for how to be
successful in our jobs and ourrelationships and our marriage
with our kids as parents.
That's where we should, that'sthe person we should be
following, the one that weidolize.
Travis Rosinger (12:05):
Yeah, and I think we need to say that out
loud.
I think we need to remindourselves of that because, I
mean, as we look at our lives, Imean what is the world due to
us right now?
There are so many distractions,so many places we can lay our
attention or our ambitions orour energy, and we have to say
it out loud and say wait asecond.
Jesus is the one we're supposedto be looking at he's the
(12:27):
ultimate hero and redirect ourfocus.
Dawn Rosinger (12:30):
Yep, absolutely.
Our eyes need to be fixed onhim.
So, if we just think about it,jesus is also the ultimate
influencer.
Honestly think the Bible hasbeen read more than any book in
the history of the world, andthe effects of his influence are
littered in every single cornerof human history.
Travis Rosinger (12:49):
Man so true.
Dawn Rosinger (12:50):
You know, all of the Old Testament points to
Jesus, and the lives of thoseafter him continue to point back
to him and his great sacrificeon the cross.
Let's just listen to what Jesussays as he talks about what it
means to be a true hero and thegreatest kind of love we will
ever see on this earth.
He says this in John 15,greater love has no one than
(13:12):
this to lay down one's life forone's friends.
You are my friends if you dowhat I command.
I no longer call you servants,because a servant does not know
his master's business.
Instead, I have called youfriends for everything that I
learned from my father I havemade known to you Again.
That's John 15, 13 through 15,man.
(13:33):
Those are great verses.
Travis Rosinger (13:35):
And they really are.
I mean, as we think about whatJesus said here, these verses,
there's just so much packed intothem.
I mean great truths, but alsoJesus is connecting his heart to
ours when he's like, hey, I nolonger call you servants, but I
call you friends.
(13:55):
And so, as I think about that,I mean Jesus in these verses
from the Bible.
I mean he's really sharing hisheart of wanting to be close
with each one of us asindividuals.
But I don't know, as you listento this us, read that and the
words of Jesus, did you hearwhat else he went on to say?
(14:16):
I mean, if we could sum it up,it would be this he pretty much
said look guys, I'm your friend,but I'm about to become your
hero, because he was talkingabout someone who had laid down
their life for their friends.
That's the greatest kind oflove yeah.
And then he was saying you're myfriends and we know that.
(14:39):
Then he went on very quickly togive his life, to die on the
cross for the sins of the world.
So if you think of the whole ofJesus' words, we can't help but
understand the reality that hewas saying, that he was about to
die for them, for his friends,and that is again the greatest
kind of love when someone willdie for someone else.
So here's kind of the point.
(15:00):
True heroes put aside their ownneeds, their selfish desires,
their plans to climb the ladder,to get the platform and to
become rich and famous.
That's what true heroes do.
So a person who is marriedthose of you that are listening
you might ask well, can't myspouse just be my hero?
And I think that's a greatquestion.
Dawn Rosinger (15:20):
Right, yeah, I mean, I would hope you would ask
that question about me, don.
Oftentimes people will say thattheir spouse is your hero.
I've heard that quite a bit.
You missed the joke.
You are my hero.
Travis Rosinger (15:31):
Oh, the song that was in our wedding.
Dawn Rosinger (15:33):
Did you ever know that you're my?
Travis Rosinger (15:34):
hero Right.
Dawn Rosinger (15:35):
And from back in the day.
I keep thinking of that songthis whole time, as we're
talking about heroes and I knowwe're griffing off.
Travis Rosinger (15:42):
But some people want to idolize their spouse,
so they want their spouse to betheir hero.
But honestly, here's theproblem.
We expect our heroes to beperfect or nearly perfect, and
so when they fall, let us downor get into trouble, what
happens?
We naturally are disappointedand devastated.
And that's really why heroworship never works.
Let me say that again heroworship, it's never going to
(16:04):
work.
Why?
Because the only one whodeserves our worship and our
greatest adoration throughfollowing his example is Jesus.
That's good.
That's good Jesus.
And maybe it's possible thatyou're getting tired of us
saying the name of Jesus on thisepisode or on this podcast and
honestly I hope you are Becausewe want everything that we do as
(16:26):
a married couple and our livesto point to Jesus.
But think about it this way theBible says that Jesus humbled
himself to the point of deathand he did it to save us from
our sins, from the penalty ofdeath.
He did it so that we could beclose to God again.
So let's kind of get practicalhere.
What does that look like inyour marriage, in your everyday
(16:50):
relationships?
Are you ready to take the pathof the ultimate influencer, like
you said, don, of the one truehero this world has ever seen?
If you are, think it throughJesus' commitment to love us and
the pain that he endured asthey tortured him, they punched
him, they drove that crown ofthorns into his head and they
(17:11):
ultimately nailed him to a cross.
All that he endured proves thathe is truly worthy of our
worship.
Again, if you think about it,jesus' life and attitude should
be the hero of our marriages,the focus, and we need that in
our marriage.
We need an example, because myexample is going to fail you,
(17:31):
don, and your example is goingto fail me.
So who do we look to so that wecan model the right behavior to
our spouse?
Dawn Rosinger (17:38):
Honestly, if we stop and think a little bit more
, if we put all of our hope andour trust in our spouses, we're
going to get let down everysingle time.
Why?
Because we're human and we'reflawed and we do weird, goofy
things at times, but our solidfoundation the reason that we're
so passionate about that is oursolid foundation is Jesus.
(17:58):
If Jesus was not the rock ofour own personal lives and our
marriage, man, it would be anabsolute wreck.
Don't you think, Travis?
They?
Travis Rosinger (18:07):
would be awesome.
I can't even imagine what ourlives would look like.
Dawn Rosinger (18:10):
So what can we do to draw strength from Jesus,
the greatest example, thegreatest hero, and allow him to
improve our marriages andattitudes?
Well, jesus endured humiliation, so here's what we can do by
following his example, we canallow ourselves to be
disrespected without becomingimmediately offended, and we can
(18:30):
choose to forgive quickly.
And I'm not talking aboutpunching someone or being
humiliated like in a way that'shonestly abusive.
I'm talking about those littlethings that, honestly, we should
be able to just let go and knowthat sometimes people have a
bad day or they're saying thewrong thing, and don't
immediately get offended andtake it to a grave and become
bitter over those things.
Travis Rosinger (18:51):
Yeah, I think we have so much pride within
ourselves, within our marriage,that when our spouse just does
something slight that offends us, or slight that makes us feel,
you know, less than orhumiliated in some small way, we
suddenly are like wait, I got afight for my rights.
I got to stand up for myself andwhat we really need to do is
(19:13):
think of Jesus and go man.
He endured humiliation.
I can get over the fact thatyou didn't give me a fork as I
sat down to eat.
You got everybody else a fork,but you didn't give me one.
You know simple things likethat.
But endure humiliation, getover it.
Dawn Rosinger (19:29):
You know, jesus also lived a very uncomfortable
and simple life.
So here's what we can do.
We can let go of our selfishdemands to have the best of
everything or to always feellike our personal needs are more
important than everyone else,especially our spouses.
So just look at their needsabove our own right, like just
(19:53):
honestly stop and say, hey,maybe they get the bigger piece
of pie than my own.
You know, I want it, but that'sa simple thing.
But that's so simple though.
Travis Rosinger (20:02):
It seems simple , but selfishness is more
natural.
And so you know, wanting thebest of everything for me,
Travis, like why wouldn't I?
You know, I want you to give methe best and make sure that I
you know I have a comfortablelife, right, yeah, but I love
the way that Jesus lived.
It was very uncomfortable andsimple, and so I think I need to
(20:24):
get with that.
Dawn Rosinger (20:25):
Yes, absolutely.
You know.
Another incredible thing thatour hero Jesus did is that he
thought primarily about theneeds of others.
So what can we do?
We can choose to start puttingour energy and focus into making
sure that the people around ushave what they need and feel
God's love, especially ourspouse.
When have you ever just stoppedand say you know, what do I
(20:47):
think my spouse needs in thismoment, and putting his needs
above my own?
Travis Rosinger (20:51):
Yeah, because you know, like we just talked
about, it's easy to wake upselfish, but waking up and
saying, hey, what could I doright now to make sure that my
spouse thrives today, that, likethis, is the best day of their
life that they've ever lived,and really just having kind of
that focus that Jesus hadtowards our spouse, right.
Dawn Rosinger (21:09):
You know.
Lastly, probably the mostimportant thing that our hero
Jesus did is that he gave hislife away.
So what can we do?
We can begin to sacrifice forour spouse in ways we've never
dreamed of before, along withbecoming a person who sacrifices
themselves for those around us.
We can give our life awaythrough thoughtfulness, maybe
(21:30):
through kindness, loving actions, encouraging words and through
affection.
We can constantly be givingwhat we have inside of us and to
others.
We can give that to our spousesespecially, but everyone around
us.
Travis Rosinger (21:42):
We totally can and of course we need to ask
God's Holy Spirit to fill us andmake sure that we're balanced.
Obviously we don't give to thepoint of depletion, but, man, as
we're asking God to help us,supernaturally, we are able to
do those things.
And really, again, it's justchanging that focus and saying
I'm just going to pour my lifeaway, I'm going to pour all the
(22:03):
love that God gives me into you,don.
Dawn Rosinger (22:05):
Which it just can be hard, because we are kind of
just selfish people, like thereare certain things I want, and
not for any particular reason,but I just want them, like I
want the house to be at acertain temperature versus you
know, and that's again.
That's just such a simplelittle thing.
But there are things that Iwant that, hey, maybe I just
need to stop and say, hey, isthis something that that is just
(22:25):
so little that I can give away,I can be flexible in?
I mean, jesus gave his lifeaway.
Travis Rosinger (22:31):
He totally did.
And sometimes it's just aboutcontrol.
I want control, you wantcontrol, we want to call the
shots, but I'm glad that we cantake the path of Jesus.
So, hey guys, why did we kickoff this episode with talking
about how you guys are heroes,when Jesus is the ultimate hero?
Well, the reason why we saidthat is because it takes great
(22:53):
effort, it takes intentionality,it takes sacrifice to be
willing to model the life thatJesus lived to others and to us,
travis and Don.
That is heroic, it is yes.
Dawn Rosinger (23:04):
You are heroes, you are.
Travis Rosinger (23:06):
And heroism is not being an actor using a
stuntman or singing on a stagewhile your lips sinking to the
recording or having your picturetaken just so that it can be
cleaned up with Photoshop tolook perfect.
No, heroism is living like Jesusin your everyday life and
especially in your marriages.
(23:28):
It's showing Jesus to yourspouse through your attitude,
your behavior and through thelove that you give them.
I think it's like one of thecoolest things in the world that
the Bible says that when a manand a woman love each other in a
marriage, it actually reflectsthe love that Jesus has for his
church, for us, and so we, as wewrap up this episode, we want
(23:51):
to end with possibly the mostpowerful marriage verse in the
Bible, and it's about our heroJesus.
Here's what it says in yourrelationships with one another,
have the same mindset as ChristJesus who, being in very nature
God, did not consider equalitywith God something to be used to
his own advantage.
(24:11):
Rather, he made himself nothing.
By taking the very nature of aservant, being made in human
likeness and being found inappearance as a man, he humbled
himself, became obedient todeath, even death on a cross.
Dawn Rosinger (24:28):
Wow, that's incredible.
I think one of the things thatwe do when we have heroes in our
life, we try to be like them.
Right, we want to be like them.
We try to mimic their behaviors, we try to mimic their attitude
, and if Jesus is our ultimatehero, that's who we're going to
begin to mimic, that's who we'regoing to begin to look like,
that's who we're going to try tobe like in all of our
(24:49):
relationships and especially inour marriage.
So what we're saying is letJesus be your ultimate hero,
because he is the one who willnever, ever disappoint.
Travis Rosinger (24:59):
I couldn't agree more.
He's the one and only we shouldbe emulating in our lives, in
our marriages.
Dawn Rosinger (25:04):
Absolutely Well with that.
We just want to thank you guysfor listening to this episode of
the Loving the Fight MarriagePodcast.
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight.
We'll see you next time.
Well, if you're tuning in today and you're
looking to learn a lesson froman influencer, an Academy Award
winner, a gold medalist or asuperstar singer, musician who
travels the world, then you'redefinitely listening to the
wrong podcast.
But if you want to hear fromreal people living real lives
and fighting for what mattersmost, then you're in the right
(00:32):
place.
On that note, I want to welcomeyou to the Loving the Fight
Marriage Podcast.
My name is Dawn and I'm sittinghere with my husband and my
co-host, travis.
Travis Rosinger (00:40):
Wow, you nailed it, Dawn.
Yes, I'm Travis, but I lovethat intro because it's true
we're just regular people andwe're fighting the good fight.
We're so glad that you guys aretuning in and listening today.
Dawn Rosinger (00:53):
Well, I'm sure you're wondering why did I kick
off this episode with the factthat we're just everyday, real
people with normalfive-day-a-week jobs, people who
don't have some crazy platformand, honestly, we don't want one
?
Travis Rosinger (01:05):
Nope, why did we start off?
Dawn Rosinger (01:07):
this episode that way?
Well, because it's actually thetopic of our episode today.
We love heroes.
We love heroes, but not allheroes.
We believe more in everydayheroes than we do with the
models, the actors andinfluencers that live lives that
aren't that real, anywaythey're just fake.
Travis Rosinger (01:25):
They're not.
So many of those lives are justlike in front of a camera or
kind of put together so thatthey look a certain way they're
untouchable.
Unreal not relatable.
Dawn Rosinger (01:39):
Most of what we see in those who are famous is
what their publicist or maybetheir PR person wants us to see.
But I think, travis, you and Ipersonally as a couple and as
individuals, need heroes thatare like you guys, that are
listening to the regular peoplewho are fighting for their
marriages and fighting to growas a person, while holding down
the craziness of normal lifethat's just filled with jobs and
(02:01):
kids, overflowing calendars andthe pressure to stay healthy
with no time left in your day.
Sometimes we get to bed likewhere did that day just go?
Travis Rosinger (02:09):
Yeah, oh man, these are the best kind of
heroes, the kind of heroes thatlive real lives and they're not
fake.
And yet, somehow they're livingfor what's right, what matters,
and they're doing the best theycan.
And they're not only surviving,they're thriving.
Those are the best kind ofheroes.
I love those kind of heroes.
Dawn Rosinger (02:29):
And there are so many of those heroes listening
right now.
And that's what we are.
We're just like you, just tworegular people, Travis and Don.
We're broken and flawedindividuals who still get
irritated over small, goofythings and we say and do stupid
things at times, but who loveJesus and need his help to
accomplish anything of value inour lives.
We know we're nothing withoutJesus.
Travis Rosinger (02:51):
Oh man, we absolutely need him.
And the reality is we're nottrying to say we're heroes,
we're just trying to say we'reregular, everyday people trying
to do heroic things, trying tofight the good fight, and it is
so much fun, it is such aprivilege to be alive and to be
making a difference in the world.
(03:11):
As many of you that arelistening, that's what you're
doing every day and it matters.
Now, sadly, as we think aboutheroes, our heroes have died
more than once.
What do we mean?
Well, so many of the peoplethat we have looked up to that
we kind of propped up as kidsDon you and I grown up, yeah,
idolized kind of yeah idolized.
(03:33):
So many of them have let us down.
Many of the famous heroes seemto fall into trouble and fail us
every day.
Now, hold that thought.
We want to talk, though forjust a second, about some of
those heroes that we had growingup.
Don, what about you?
And we're not talking aboutheroes that did fail, it's just
like hey, who did you idolize?
(03:53):
Who did you look up to growingup as a young person?
Dawn Rosinger (03:57):
Well, the heroes I feel like were not, that
weren't touchable in my life,meaning that they were really
big.
I was into sports, so I keepthinking of like Michael Jordan
and Magic Johnson, because I wasbasketball fans.
So I was like, hey, those areeveryday heroes.
Did I ever meet them?
No, well, I ever meet them.
Yeah, I remember as well myfirst songs, christian CDs, back
in the day.
I'm going to date myself alittle bit.
Travis Rosinger (04:17):
I was going to say what are CDs?
That's where you put money inthe bank cash on deposit.
I'm kidding, but like that'sfrom a way back, right
absolutely Well.
Dawn Rosinger (04:26):
You know, some of my favorite Christian CDs back
in the day were Amy Grant andMichael W Smith.
Those were some of my first CDsand I just they were my heroes
because I loved their voice andI loved the way they sing and I
loved what they were singingabout.
But then I'd had some otherheroes who you know, I was able
to sometimes meet, you know, geta hug from or talk about their
(04:46):
life, and there were justspeakers that were at my camps,
or speakers who came to mychurch, maybe missionaries or
people who live these crazy wildlives for Jesus, and I was just
always amazed at all that theydid, and so they were my
everyday heroes.
Travis Rosinger (05:00):
Yeah, those are some good ones, and especially
Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson.
Dawn Rosinger (05:05):
I just love their haircuts Right yeah, they were
really good basketball players.
They have great haircuts, butkiller basketball players.
Travis Rosinger (05:10):
Yeah, I think.
Growing up as I think back, youknow, to my younger years, even
my teenage years, I rememberbuying the number one issue for
Spider-Man and as a young personI just like fell in love with
the idea of comic book heroes orsuper heroes.
Dawn Rosinger (05:29):
You have some of those still.
I still do.
The last time we moved, Iremember looking in your memory
box.
I'm like there's some of yourcomic books.
They're there in plastic.
They're probably worth money.
I think they're in perfectcondition.
We should sell them.
Travis Rosinger (05:38):
They're probably worth five bucks or a
half a million.
I have no idea Not gonna getrid of them.
But yeah, spider-man, I alwaysthought, wow, this is so cool,
what a great story.
You know, this guy, who Ibelieve is his dad, grandfather
who was raising him, gets killedor his grandma, and then he
goes around and he fights.
The bad guys Love that story,or the Green Lantern was another
(05:58):
one of them.
I also looked up to politiciansand you could tell I was
younger than-.
Dawn Rosinger (06:04):
Yeah, you must have wised up since then, don't
really?
Travis Rosinger (06:07):
have that same.
You know, idolization, I guess,of those kinds of people.
But I mean, I love the onesfrom American history.
You know, like people likeAbraham Lincoln or George
Washington, I was fascinated bythem.
But also you know, like RonaldReagan or John F Kennedy, some
really great politicians interms of how they carried
(06:27):
themselves, how they behaved andsome of the things that they
would do as they led.
But of course, kind of like you,Don, growing up in church I had
some incredible pastors.
I think one of them was myyouth pastor, who was also a
speech writer, and I probablytalked to him about him before
on this podcast, but he wouldcome be our youth pastor on
Wednesday night, but he I had afull-time job of writing
(06:49):
speeches for politicians.
Oh, that's pretty cool, yeah,yeah, and the Congress there in
the state of Arizona, and so hewas so intelligent, so fun to be
around him, just like, and thenhe just oozed, Jesus, he was
such a cool guy.
But then, of course, I meanthose are heroes that we've
idolized, looked up to and thatyou know we're great heroes, but
we've also had heroes who havefailed us.
(07:11):
I mean, as you think, Don, whocomes to your mind, like not
naming names, but a hero thathas failed you.
Dawn Rosinger (07:17):
You know, I think when I think of like
untouchable heroes, people thatpeople look up to, I feel like
there's certain presidents thatwe have had in our past and like
, wow, they've done something.
You're like, ooh, likedefinitely they failed you.
They no longer were a hero andobviously they're not in our
everyday life.
But I also have other people.
That man, I knew them well, wehad relationships with them and
(07:39):
they were just like pastors orpeople that I looked up to in my
church and they decided thatthey were gonna explore drinking
and they eventually left theministry and church, divorced
their wife and they walked awayfrom God.
So people that was like, wow,they have it all together and
I'm like, wow, they actually atsome point took their eyes off
Jesus, walked away and lefteverything behind and I was so
(07:59):
disappointed.
I remember just, even just as ateenager, how that affected
just my view, but just my faith,even.
Travis Rosinger (08:05):
Yeah, it's shocking and not to put them
down because that's not thepoint of this episode or this
podcast, but it's shockingbecause we think they can do no
wrong and we love them and we'regrateful for how they're
modeling Jesus.
Dawn Rosinger (08:17):
I'm really thankful now, though, that I
realize that my faith is not putin a person at all, because
people will fail us, like Iunderstand.
My faith is solid because myfaith is in Jesus and not people
so that's helped me as I'vegotten older.
Travis Rosinger (08:30):
Such a great point.
I know for me, growing up tooas a young pastor and I first
started out almost 30 years agothere was a man who led a large
church and was revered as one ofthe greatest speakers in the US
and incredible growing churchand just doing a really, really
good job communicating the Bible, and we would read his books as
(08:51):
I went to school to be a pastorand even for a master's degree.
But then now it seems like thatsame man is starting to rewrite
the Bible to make it convenient, for His theology is definitely
changing.
It's not correct anymore, andso it's like oh, what's going on
?
I mean, you used to stand fortruth and what's right, and now
(09:12):
he's just kind of anything goes,and so it's so sad.
But I think what we're gettingat is heroes are human, heroes
are needed, but heroes can alsofail us and even though they
fail us, we still need themdesperately, and I think we
especially need everyday heroes,like those of you that are
(09:32):
listening Now.
We also need to know what ittakes to be a hero Again, even
though we can get disappointedor let down by our heroes.
We need to analyze that andthink okay, what is a hero.
What does it mean?
And so one thing I always tryto remember whenever a famous
hero fails us, or an everydayhero I know fails us, I always
(09:53):
try to remember that there are athousand more other heroes who
have never failed us and neverwill you see?
I think that evil tries to getus to think that if somebody in
the church that's reallypowerful and successful and does
a great job, if they fail us,well, all the leaders are bad in
the church.
Or if somebody you know, apolitician, if they fail us and
(10:16):
they do bad things in the WhiteHouse, well then they're all bad
.
You know every less and youknow what.
That's not true.
There are so many great famousheroes out there, but especially
everyday heroes.
Dawn Rosinger (10:26):
We keep saying the word hero or heroes.
What is a hero?
Well, according to OxfordLanguages Dictionary, a hero is
a person who is admired oridealized for courage,
outstanding achievements ornoble qualities.
Travis Rosinger (10:40):
That's good, I love that.
Dawn Rosinger (10:41):
According to Miriam Webster's Dictionary, a
hero is a person admired forachievements and noble qualities
, one who shows great courage.
Those are great definitions and, with those definitions in mind
, we believe that there's reallyonly one perfect, one ultimate
hero.
Yes, there are many heroes thatwill never fail us and are
(11:03):
worth learning from theirpositive example, but none of
them are perfect.
They will all make mistakes,they will all fail short, if you
think about it we will all failshort.
Travis Rosinger (11:13):
Oh man, I let you down all the time, don, and
okay, maybe you never let medown.
Dawn Rosinger (11:17):
I just kidding.
Travis Rosinger (11:17):
I always let you down, but you know we're not
perfect, and that's so true.
Dawn Rosinger (11:21):
Because we're humans, so humans will always
let each other down.
Travis Rosinger (11:24):
Yes.
Dawn Rosinger (11:25):
But you know what ?
There is the perfect hero, theultimate hero in his name is
Jesus.
Jesus is the one true hero.
So, when you think of the pain,the rejection and the agony
that Jesus went through to notonly demonstrate love but to
actually provide us a bridge toGod, an example of one who is
love, no one else in all ofhistory ever will compare Wow,
(11:49):
jesus is the ultimate hero, theone true hero.
He's the one all of us should belooking to and for how to be
successful in our jobs and ourrelationships and our marriage
with our kids as parents.
That's where we should, that'sthe person we should be
following, the one that weidolize.
Travis Rosinger (12:05):
Yeah, and I think we need to say that out
loud.
I think we need to remindourselves of that because, I
mean, as we look at our lives, Imean what is the world due to
us right now?
There are so many distractions,so many places we can lay our
attention or our ambitions orour energy, and we have to say
it out loud and say wait asecond.
Jesus is the one we're supposedto be looking at he's the
(12:27):
ultimate hero and redirect ourfocus.
Dawn Rosinger (12:30):
Yep, absolutely.
Our eyes need to be fixed onhim.
So, if we just think about it,jesus is also the ultimate
influencer.
Honestly think the Bible hasbeen read more than any book in
the history of the world, andthe effects of his influence are
littered in every single cornerof human history.
Travis Rosinger (12:49):
Man so true.
Dawn Rosinger (12:50):
You know, all of the Old Testament points to
Jesus, and the lives of thoseafter him continue to point back
to him and his great sacrificeon the cross.
Let's just listen to what Jesussays as he talks about what it
means to be a true hero and thegreatest kind of love we will
ever see on this earth.
He says this in John 15,greater love has no one than
(13:12):
this to lay down one's life forone's friends.
You are my friends if you dowhat I command.
I no longer call you servants,because a servant does not know
his master's business.
Instead, I have called youfriends for everything that I
learned from my father I havemade known to you Again.
That's John 15, 13 through 15,man.
(13:33):
Those are great verses.
Travis Rosinger (13:35):
And they really are.
I mean, as we think about whatJesus said here, these verses,
there's just so much packed intothem.
I mean great truths, but alsoJesus is connecting his heart to
ours when he's like, hey, I nolonger call you servants, but I
call you friends.
(13:55):
And so, as I think about that,I mean Jesus in these verses
from the Bible.
I mean he's really sharing hisheart of wanting to be close
with each one of us asindividuals.
But I don't know, as you listento this us, read that and the
words of Jesus, did you hearwhat else he went on to say?
(14:16):
I mean, if we could sum it up,it would be this he pretty much
said look guys, I'm your friend,but I'm about to become your
hero, because he was talkingabout someone who had laid down
their life for their friends.
That's the greatest kind oflove yeah.
And then he was saying you're myfriends and we know that.
(14:39):
Then he went on very quickly togive his life, to die on the
cross for the sins of the world.
So if you think of the whole ofJesus' words, we can't help but
understand the reality that hewas saying, that he was about to
die for them, for his friends,and that is again the greatest
kind of love when someone willdie for someone else.
So here's kind of the point.
(15:00):
True heroes put aside their ownneeds, their selfish desires,
their plans to climb the ladder,to get the platform and to
become rich and famous.
That's what true heroes do.
So a person who is marriedthose of you that are listening
you might ask well, can't myspouse just be my hero?
And I think that's a greatquestion.
Dawn Rosinger (15:20):
Right, yeah, I mean, I would hope you would ask
that question about me, don.
Oftentimes people will say thattheir spouse is your hero.
I've heard that quite a bit.
You missed the joke.
You are my hero.
Travis Rosinger (15:31):
Oh, the song that was in our wedding.
Dawn Rosinger (15:33):
Did you ever know that you're my?
Travis Rosinger (15:34):
hero Right.
Dawn Rosinger (15:35):
And from back in the day.
I keep thinking of that songthis whole time, as we're
talking about heroes and I knowwe're griffing off.
Travis Rosinger (15:42):
But some people want to idolize their spouse,
so they want their spouse to betheir hero.
But honestly, here's theproblem.
We expect our heroes to beperfect or nearly perfect, and
so when they fall, let us downor get into trouble, what
happens?
We naturally are disappointedand devastated.
And that's really why heroworship never works.
Let me say that again heroworship, it's never going to
(16:04):
work.
Why?
Because the only one whodeserves our worship and our
greatest adoration throughfollowing his example is Jesus.
That's good.
That's good Jesus.
And maybe it's possible thatyou're getting tired of us
saying the name of Jesus on thisepisode or on this podcast and
honestly I hope you are Becausewe want everything that we do as
(16:26):
a married couple and our livesto point to Jesus.
But think about it this way theBible says that Jesus humbled
himself to the point of deathand he did it to save us from
our sins, from the penalty ofdeath.
He did it so that we could beclose to God again.
So let's kind of get practicalhere.
What does that look like inyour marriage, in your everyday
(16:50):
relationships?
Are you ready to take the pathof the ultimate influencer, like
you said, don, of the one truehero this world has ever seen?
If you are, think it throughJesus' commitment to love us and
the pain that he endured asthey tortured him, they punched
him, they drove that crown ofthorns into his head and they
(17:11):
ultimately nailed him to a cross.
All that he endured proves thathe is truly worthy of our
worship.
Again, if you think about it,jesus' life and attitude should
be the hero of our marriages,the focus, and we need that in
our marriage.
We need an example, because myexample is going to fail you,
(17:31):
don, and your example is goingto fail me.
So who do we look to so that wecan model the right behavior to
our spouse?
Dawn Rosinger (17:38):
Honestly, if we stop and think a little bit more
, if we put all of our hope andour trust in our spouses, we're
going to get let down everysingle time.
Why?
Because we're human and we'reflawed and we do weird, goofy
things at times, but our solidfoundation the reason that we're
so passionate about that is oursolid foundation is Jesus.
(17:58):
If Jesus was not the rock ofour own personal lives and our
marriage, man, it would be anabsolute wreck.
Don't you think, Travis?
They?
Travis Rosinger (18:07):
would be awesome.
I can't even imagine what ourlives would look like.
Dawn Rosinger (18:10):
So what can we do to draw strength from Jesus,
the greatest example, thegreatest hero, and allow him to
improve our marriages andattitudes?
Well, jesus endured humiliation, so here's what we can do by
following his example, we canallow ourselves to be
disrespected without becomingimmediately offended, and we can
(18:30):
choose to forgive quickly.
And I'm not talking aboutpunching someone or being
humiliated like in a way that'shonestly abusive.
I'm talking about those littlethings that, honestly, we should
be able to just let go and knowthat sometimes people have a
bad day or they're saying thewrong thing, and don't
immediately get offended andtake it to a grave and become
bitter over those things.
Travis Rosinger (18:51):
Yeah, I think we have so much pride within
ourselves, within our marriage,that when our spouse just does
something slight that offends us, or slight that makes us feel,
you know, less than orhumiliated in some small way, we
suddenly are like wait, I got afight for my rights.
I got to stand up for myself andwhat we really need to do is
(19:13):
think of Jesus and go man.
He endured humiliation.
I can get over the fact thatyou didn't give me a fork as I
sat down to eat.
You got everybody else a fork,but you didn't give me one.
You know simple things likethat.
But endure humiliation, getover it.
Dawn Rosinger (19:29):
You know, jesus also lived a very uncomfortable
and simple life.
So here's what we can do.
We can let go of our selfishdemands to have the best of
everything or to always feellike our personal needs are more
important than everyone else,especially our spouses.
So just look at their needsabove our own right, like just
(19:53):
honestly stop and say, hey,maybe they get the bigger piece
of pie than my own.
You know, I want it, but that'sa simple thing.
But that's so simple though.
Travis Rosinger (20:02):
It seems simple , but selfishness is more
natural.
And so you know, wanting thebest of everything for me,
Travis, like why wouldn't I?
You know, I want you to give methe best and make sure that I
you know I have a comfortablelife, right, yeah, but I love
the way that Jesus lived.
It was very uncomfortable andsimple, and so I think I need to
(20:24):
get with that.
Dawn Rosinger (20:25):
Yes, absolutely.
You know.
Another incredible thing thatour hero Jesus did is that he
thought primarily about theneeds of others.
So what can we do?
We can choose to start puttingour energy and focus into making
sure that the people around ushave what they need and feel
God's love, especially ourspouse.
When have you ever just stoppedand say you know, what do I
(20:47):
think my spouse needs in thismoment, and putting his needs
above my own?
Travis Rosinger (20:51):
Yeah, because you know, like we just talked
about, it's easy to wake upselfish, but waking up and
saying, hey, what could I doright now to make sure that my
spouse thrives today, that, likethis, is the best day of their
life that they've ever lived,and really just having kind of
that focus that Jesus hadtowards our spouse, right.
Dawn Rosinger (21:09):
You know.
Lastly, probably the mostimportant thing that our hero
Jesus did is that he gave hislife away.
So what can we do?
We can begin to sacrifice forour spouse in ways we've never
dreamed of before, along withbecoming a person who sacrifices
themselves for those around us.
We can give our life awaythrough thoughtfulness, maybe
(21:30):
through kindness, loving actions, encouraging words and through
affection.
We can constantly be givingwhat we have inside of us and to
others.
We can give that to our spousesespecially, but everyone around
us.
Travis Rosinger (21:42):
We totally can and of course we need to ask
God's Holy Spirit to fill us andmake sure that we're balanced.
Obviously we don't give to thepoint of depletion, but, man, as
we're asking God to help us,supernaturally, we are able to
do those things.
And really, again, it's justchanging that focus and saying
I'm just going to pour my lifeaway, I'm going to pour all the
(22:03):
love that God gives me into you,don.
Dawn Rosinger (22:05):
Which it just can be hard, because we are kind of
just selfish people, like thereare certain things I want, and
not for any particular reason,but I just want them, like I
want the house to be at acertain temperature versus you
know, and that's again.
That's just such a simplelittle thing.
But there are things that Iwant that, hey, maybe I just
need to stop and say, hey, isthis something that that is just
(22:25):
so little that I can give away,I can be flexible in?
I mean, jesus gave his lifeaway.
Travis Rosinger (22:31):
He totally did.
And sometimes it's just aboutcontrol.
I want control, you wantcontrol, we want to call the
shots, but I'm glad that we cantake the path of Jesus.
So, hey guys, why did we kickoff this episode with talking
about how you guys are heroes,when Jesus is the ultimate hero?
Well, the reason why we saidthat is because it takes great
(22:53):
effort, it takes intentionality,it takes sacrifice to be
willing to model the life thatJesus lived to others and to us,
travis and Don.
That is heroic, it is yes.
Dawn Rosinger (23:04):
You are heroes, you are.
Travis Rosinger (23:06):
And heroism is not being an actor using a
stuntman or singing on a stagewhile your lips sinking to the
recording or having your picturetaken just so that it can be
cleaned up with Photoshop tolook perfect.
No, heroism is living like Jesusin your everyday life and
especially in your marriages.
(23:28):
It's showing Jesus to yourspouse through your attitude,
your behavior and through thelove that you give them.
I think it's like one of thecoolest things in the world that
the Bible says that when a manand a woman love each other in a
marriage, it actually reflectsthe love that Jesus has for his
church, for us, and so we, as wewrap up this episode, we want
(23:51):
to end with possibly the mostpowerful marriage verse in the
Bible, and it's about our heroJesus.
Here's what it says in yourrelationships with one another,
have the same mindset as ChristJesus who, being in very nature
God, did not consider equalitywith God something to be used to
his own advantage.
(24:11):
Rather, he made himself nothing.
By taking the very nature of aservant, being made in human
likeness and being found inappearance as a man, he humbled
himself, became obedient todeath, even death on a cross.
Dawn Rosinger (24:28):
Wow, that's incredible.
I think one of the things thatwe do when we have heroes in our
life, we try to be like them.
Right, we want to be like them.
We try to mimic their behaviors, we try to mimic their attitude
, and if Jesus is our ultimatehero, that's who we're going to
begin to mimic, that's who we'regoing to begin to look like,
that's who we're going to try tobe like in all of our
(24:49):
relationships and especially inour marriage.
So what we're saying is letJesus be your ultimate hero,
because he is the one who willnever, ever disappoint.
Travis Rosinger (24:59):
I couldn't agree more.
He's the one and only we shouldbe emulating in our lives, in
our marriages.
Dawn Rosinger (25:04):
Absolutely Well with that.
We just want to thank you guysfor listening to this episode of
the Loving the Fight MarriagePodcast.
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight.
We'll see you next time.
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