March 1, 2024 • 22 mins
None of us are exactly alike. We all have facets of our personalities, beliefs and behaviors that define who we are and what we value. Because of this, there are so many things that make us different than our spouses and annoy us even though we were attracted to the differences we originally saw in them. Yes, we said “I do” to each other, but we didn’t say “I will” with the intention to become just like the one we married. It’s those differences in marriage, especially in the areas where we may never be the same that can cause friction that leads to conflict. What if married couples took a different perspective on their spouse? What if they chose to react positively to those differences that they see daily in their spouse rather than take a judging or negative approach?
Join hosts, Travis and Dawn Rosinger, as they share funny differences about themselves in their own marriage, differences they see in others, and what changing your approach and how you view uniqueness in your spouse could have a huge positive impact on your own marriage relationship!
Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping - What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You
For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight
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Episode Transcript
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Dawn Rosinger (00:12):
Looking into.
Start today off a little bitdifferent with this question.
If you only had today what youthank God for yesterday, for
what would that be?
What would you have today?
Starting off with a challengetoday, as I welcome you to the
Love in the Fight MarriagePodcast, my name is Don and I'm
sitting here with my husband, mybest friend, my bed buddy, my
(00:33):
adventure partner, my travelerpartner, travis.
Travis Rosinger (00:36):
Yeah, I think that means we share the sheets
and the covers right?
Yeah, we sure do we do hang outin the same room, but we also
hang out in the same house andlive the same life together and
I'm so grateful for that.
Well, hey, everyone glad tohave you listening today.
We just got back from a week ofvacation on the beaches of
Florida and we say beachesbecause I think we went to like
(00:58):
literally five or six differentbeaches and different parts of
Florida.
It was a beach vacation Super,super fun, had a great time.
Part of it was because theweather was so good.
It was like upper 70s pure sun,no rain.
They said it was the driestseason.
Dawn Rosinger (01:15):
It didn't rain the whole entire week.
It was incredible.
The temperature is 75 to 80.
Like we didn't wear a jacket,you wear shorts every day.
Travis Rosinger (01:21):
Shorts.
That's weird.
Weird for us in Minnesota,because today or yesterday it
was 19 degrees, so super, supercold and Don we got a chance to
go over and spend time with yourbrother.
So we were on the AtlanticOcean and we took a day and
drove two hours to the Gulf ofMexico.
Dawn Rosinger (01:39):
Yeah, went through the Everglades and got
to hang out with my brother andmy sister-in-law, had some great
lunch and we just had coffeefor a couple hours just really
catching up and hanging out.
Travis Rosinger (01:47):
Oh man on a place called Marco Island.
Dawn Rosinger (01:49):
It was paradise.
Travis Rosinger (01:50):
Eating on the water and then drinking
Starbucks sitting outside.
It was so warm and so good.
But part of why we loved ourvacation and part of why we love
pretty much all of ourvacations, is because we work
out every day and get lots ofsteps.
Our goal is to always hit over20,000 steps.
Yeah, over 10 miles, basically,yeah and with a legit workout
(02:11):
in there as well, whether it'slifting weights or running three
to five miles.
Dawn Rosinger (02:14):
But yeah, so that's Well there's kind of a
reason that we do that.
Travis Rosinger (02:17):
There is.
Dawn Rosinger (02:18):
Because when you're on vacation maybe like
everybody, I'm assuming you eata little bit extra calories,
like French fries and chocolateand ice cream and just some
stuff that you wouldn't normallyeat, or three pretty full meals
, versus maybe not three fullmeals on a typical day in a
typical week.
Travis Rosinger (02:36):
Yeah.
So what you're saying is, thereason is sinful.
Dawn Rosinger (02:39):
Yes, we want to be able to eat more.
Travis Rosinger (02:41):
We kind of go off the food wagon when we're on
vacation but why not, you're onvacation, you're having a great
time and there's awesome foodall around.
And again, one of the beachesthat we went to or should I say
a portion of Florida, butcertainly they got beaches there
, but we went to the FloridaKeys, specifically Key Largo,
and then we went past it and isLa Morbada I don't even know how
(03:02):
to say the name of it's likefour islands altogether.
Dawn Rosinger (03:05):
Robbies is right, robbies, yes.
Restaurant where you can dosomething very interesting.
Travis Rosinger (03:11):
Very not safe no, not at all Very, maybe
stupid on my part.
Dawn Rosinger (03:14):
And you pay to do this.
Travis Rosinger (03:16):
Everybody was doing it.
So I was like, hey, why not?
I'll give it a try.
So we paid 10 bucks for abucket of fish and we were able
to feed some of the biggest fishwe have ever seen in our lives.
You just stick your hand downthrough a net in the middle of a
dock and there are what Like ahundred fish in there, but
they're big.
Dawn Rosinger (03:34):
They're like 80 pound fish Long yeah.
Travis Rosinger (03:36):
With like huge teeth.
Dawn Rosinger (03:38):
And they're called tarpons right.
Travis Rosinger (03:39):
Yeah, they look like they can bite your finger
off and so you're dangling this.
They're teeth.
They actually show people.
Dawn Rosinger (03:44):
when I asked the gentleman and Mike so do people
get baked?
He goes yeah, sometimes peoplebleed and like, oh, we're paying
to do this.
Travis Rosinger (03:50):
Yeah, sometimes there's blood, let there be
blood.
You were a little bit braverthan I was.
Dawn Rosinger (03:54):
I know you went first, put your hand down there.
And the fish?
You can see them and they'rejust staring at you holding this
fish.
Travis Rosinger (03:59):
They are.
Dawn Rosinger (04:01):
Just for the exact moment and they jump out
of the water and they grabbedthe fish out of your hand.
Travis Rosinger (04:06):
It's crazy and I was like you were holding your
fish over the big fish and Iwas like Don, it looks like he's
about to, and then you justjump and I dropped the fish.
Dawn Rosinger (04:15):
I was so bummed because he was about to hit you
know, take the fish out of myhand, but you scared me.
I dropped the fish.
But when you were doing itthere was actually what type of
bird was attacking you.
Travis Rosinger (04:24):
Yes, a pelican came up from behind.
Have a picture.
Started to pack me a one, thefish.
Oh my gosh, that was funny.
Anyway, such a good week, superfun.
Dawn Rosinger (04:34):
You know, one thing that we do, though, while
we were gone.
Honestly, what I kind of doevery time we go on vacation is
I pay attention to everythingthat's around us.
I love adventure, I loveexploring and people watching
People absolutely fascinating.
Travis Rosinger (04:47):
That's a lot of fun.
There's a lot of us different,unique, unusual people on the
planet, including us.
Dawn Rosinger (04:52):
Yeah we're from Minnesota, so everyone else in
the United States.
They do different things thanwe do.
But I realized really quickthat we really all do different
things, not wrong, but honestlyextremely different, Different.
The way that we do things.
I know we noticed a ton ofpeople.
They were walking withstrollers like, oh, I love
babies, I love kids, oh yeah,and it turned out they didn't
(05:15):
have babies in these strollers,they were dogs and even a few
cats in them.
It wasn't just a few people,but there was numerous people
that were pushing strollers anddogs and cats were in them so
many.
Travis Rosinger (05:26):
Apparently they're fur babies that's what
they are, because they weren'treal babies when we would be all
excited.
Oh there's this, you know ladywith her kids and the stroller,
or this grandpa with hisgrandchild, and nope, nope, it
was some big hairy dog, a hairydog or a cat, you know again,
not wrong, but just verydifferent.
Dawn Rosinger (05:44):
Right Travis, extremely different, yeah, yeah.
Travis Rosinger (05:46):
Yeah, one of the things that we noticed when
we were, you know, on ourvacation and on the Gulf of
Mexico, we were on Marco Islandand went to the beach to watch
the sunset.
And as we got out there werethree raccoons right by our car.
We didn't notice them rightaway, but as we got out we were
like wait a second, they'reright by our car.
Dawn Rosinger (06:05):
You were just trying to pay for the parking
and it was this big garbage canand these big raccoons.
Travis Rosinger (06:10):
Yeah, they were right there on the garbage cans
and we had to walk by thegarbage cans to get to this dock
that take us to the ocean, tothe beach.
Dawn Rosinger (06:17):
Well, and it wasn't just those garbage cans,
there were.
Every garbage can had raccoons.
It was crazy.
Everyone would draw a line likethere's raccoons.
Travis Rosinger (06:22):
Yeah, we walked to the beach and then came back
after the sun was starting toset and there were more, and so
we're like how do we get back onthis dock?
They're just sitting there.
Dawn Rosinger (06:31):
And I know, I think raccoons are kind of mean,
at least the ones I love herein Minnesota.
You don't mess around with araccoon because they can bite
you or they can attack you.
Travis Rosinger (06:40):
Yeah, especially if they think that
you're going to take their food.
Well, when we started comingback, not only had we seen them
on the way, but when we startedcoming back, there were raccoons
and we were like making noiseand trying to scare them away.
And all of a sudden we lookedover at a lady who was smiling
really big and we were like, hey, there's raccoons here, you
better be careful.
And she looked back at us andshe goes yeah, I know, I just
(07:01):
bought them a huge chickendinner.
Dawn Rosinger (07:05):
And she was all excited.
We were trying to warn herabout these raccoons and she is
welcoming them and she's feedingthem a chicken dinner.
And she was all excited andwe're like, OK, wow, what a
different perspective.
Travis Rosinger (07:16):
Apparently raccoon Uber eats whatever
delivers them.
You know kind of thing.
What do you call it DoorDash?
For raccoons and we're justtrying to stay alive.
We don't want the things tobite us or kill us, or kill us
or give us some kind of diseaseor whatever.
Dawn Rosinger (07:32):
But they're crazy Again.
Just, we were looking at theexact same thing, the exact same
raccoons, but just two verydifferent perspectives.
Right, so not necessarily wrong, but just different.
Travis Rosinger (07:42):
She loved them, thought they were maybe really
great pets or something.
We thought they were dangerous.
Dawn Rosinger (07:47):
I wonder if she probably pushes her on her dog
and a stroller.
Travis Rosinger (07:51):
I think she does Not that that's a bad thing
.
If you do that, you'relistening.
Hey, more power to you.
Dawn Rosinger (07:56):
There's some dogs that probably have to be in
strollers.
Travis Rosinger (07:58):
Yes, yeah, maybe if they have heart
problems or hip problems orsomething.
Dawn Rosinger (08:02):
So we're not bashing the people If you're
doing that.
No, it's just when you'reexpecting a baby.
Travis Rosinger (08:06):
Please don't put your great dane though.
Yeah, and a stroller, thatcould look a little weird.
Dawn Rosinger (08:11):
Well, you know what I think for us personally,
we did a lot of thingsdifferently on our trip, like
one thing that you guys need toknow about Travis is when we go
on a trip, he has this pursuitof the rental car company.
Travis Rosinger (08:25):
Yes.
Dawn Rosinger (08:25):
You know what?
He instantly becomes like amarathon runner.
When we landed the airport andwe have to get our rental car,
he wants to be the first one inline.
So if you sit next to him onthe tram or the shuttle man, you
better be careful, because heis just out that door, grabs his
language and speed, walks tothe car rental.
And hear me me, I'm on vacation.
I run a very you know we'revery busy people, but when I'm
(08:49):
on vacation I'm literally onvacation.
So I want to walk.
I'm absolutely in no hurry.
I'm in a hurry the rest of mylife.
I don't want to be in hurry onvacation, but, man, you travel
as well.
Look out like here comes Travis.
He goes and he gets in, hebecomes the first person in line
to get that rental car.
Travis Rosinger (09:03):
I usually wait by the bus door, the tram door
and not sit down, and then Ijust book it.
I'm like I'll see you in anhour, yep, and I go get the car
and it works.
But if we don't book it and wejust kind of stroll along like
everybody else, it ends up beingthree hours to get a rental car
.
Dawn Rosinger (09:19):
Yeah, not wrong, just different, right we are
different.
Travis Rosinger (09:22):
Yes, well, I know too, when we were walking
on the beach or working out, don, you're somebody who is so
different than me, like I canget to 5.95 miles and be done,
because, well, I hit my timelimit or whatever.
Dawn Rosinger (09:38):
But why be done at 5.95?
Travis Rosinger (09:40):
Right, you're a numbers person.
It blows up your brain to quitearly.
According to you, it's notearly to me.
Dawn Rosinger (09:45):
Well, it's an odd number.
You can't end on an odd number.
Yeah, Like can you.
How can you end on an oddnumber?
Travis Rosinger (09:51):
You can end on an even number or an odd number,
I don't think it matters.
But you think there's rules andso there could be a little
friction there.
Sometimes I'm like, hey, keepgoing if you want, but I'm done
at 5.95 miles.
Dawn Rosinger (10:03):
But you know our watch, you have distances, you
have calories, you have time.
I just which one do you pick?
They just can't be odd numbers.
Travis Rosinger (10:10):
Yeah, so not wrong.
We're just very different interms of it's not the different
that I want.
Your different is the differentthat you want.
Man and we just got home, justlanded in our plane just a few
minutes ago I think it was maybean hour and a half ago, 90
minutes ago and we're sodifferent on airplanes.
Don you think you're going todie when you take off in an
airplane?
(10:30):
You?
Dawn Rosinger (10:31):
think the tail is going to scrape on the runway
and you're going to crash andburn, and I saw it not that long
ago on the news that there wasa plane.
Yeah, that doesn't happen, bythe way.
Travis Rosinger (10:38):
That was really weird.
But I'm different, because Ithink that when we go to land,
that's when we're going to die.
And you're like, well, we'recloser to the ground, so we're
going to live, and I'm like, no,no, no, they crash land Like
that's what happens.
Dawn Rosinger (10:53):
Yeah, but we're getting closer to the ground.
It's safer it feels like saferthan going up.
Travis Rosinger (10:57):
Again, the way we think is so different.
We're completely differentpeople.
Dawn Rosinger (11:01):
Again, yeah, not just wrong, just very different,
very different perspectives,very different people, and
that's okay.
Well, that was just a fewthings on a vacation that I
noticed, but honestly, beyondvacation, every single day we're
different.
There's certain things that wedo.
We fold our towels differentlyand, according to you, like
(11:22):
that's the only way to fold thetowel.
Travis Rosinger (11:24):
Oh yeah, for sure.
No, I've got the right plan.
Dawn Rosinger (11:28):
I actually refold his towels.
Which is sad because my carwanted him to look the same way.
You know we drink differently.
When you drink, Travis, youtake a drink, you drink really,
really loud.
Yeah, you gulp, you gulp.
And when I drink, you can'teven hear that I'm drinking.
Travis Rosinger (11:45):
Which I wonder if you're enjoying your drink.
I'm like if you enjoyed ityou'd make noise.
You?
Dawn Rosinger (11:49):
know we drive very differently.
I drive slower than you.
I take my time.
You actually want me to.
You make me have to speed fivemiles per hour over if I'm
driving right.
Don't tell anybody that you sayyou can drive, but you have to
go at least five miles over.
You're giving away my secrets.
Well, you just drive faster andyou know when you need to get
(12:09):
in.
You need to cut into a lane.
You just cut in Like you barelyuse a blinker.
Travis Rosinger (12:12):
And I'm just like, I'm like.
Dawn Rosinger (12:14):
I'm all patience.
I'm like they'll let me in whenthey want to, and I put my
blinker on like a half a mileaway Don.
Travis Rosinger (12:20):
let's be honest .
You get people months noticethat you're going to change
lanes.
I do.
Dawn Rosinger (12:24):
I'm a very I'm just a very polite driver.
You know we spend our allowancedifferently.
We were Dave Ramsey fans, orstill are Dave Ramsey fans, and
he talks about allowance.
So we started allowance a long,long time ago, something that
we've carried, you know, throughto this day.
But you, you buy energy drinksor kombucha with your you know,
with your allowance for I tendto buy clothes or shoes.
(12:46):
I save up for something, orsave up.
Travis Rosinger (12:48):
What a waste of money.
Something different, no, youshould buy.
You should buy the good stuff.
Dawn Rosinger (12:51):
Anyways, we just do a lot of things that are not
wrong, but they're justdifferent.
Travis Rosinger (12:58):
And again.
You know I guess I say again,but actually we haven't said
this yet.
But that's Emerson.
Egrics said that once and thatreally stuck with us Not wrong,
just different, and he's anawesome guy and it really helped
us to understand wait we're.
We're different, and that'sokay.
Dawn Rosinger (13:14):
Yeah, and honestly, everybody's different.
Travis Rosinger (13:16):
just like looking at our vacation, all the
different people, the strollerpeople or the raccoon people, I
mean, everyone's just differenteveryone's different and couples
are different in marriages, sosometimes, though, these
differences, as you guys canimagine, as we've alluded to,
can actually cause a ton ofConflict.
You ever find yourself and yourspouse just getting in a big
fight over something reallypetty and stupid, one of these
(13:38):
differences and, of course, ineveryday life, well, even when
we're not on vacation, thesethings can actually be super
annoying and we can argue overthem.
I think they're easier to laughat and goof around about, don,
when we're just coming back fromvacation.
Dawn Rosinger (13:52):
But when we're stressed out and there's a lot
going on cute anymore not notvery cute, no.
Travis Rosinger (13:57):
So here's what Elizabeth moon once said.
She said it's not wrong to bedifferent.
Sometimes it is hard, but it'snot wrong.
Hmm, that's so true I think weneed to be reminded of that that
there's a reason why we aredrawn to each other and we give
each other rings and say I do,and it's partly because God
brings those differencestogether so that we can be
(14:20):
strong for each other.
Dawn Rosinger (14:22):
Yeah, so how do we keep the attitude that things
can be not wrong, but justdifferent?
So how do we keep that attitudewithout causing Frustration and
bringing in, you know, a lot ofconflict into a marriage, which
these little things can?
Honestly, I think it's a timeto kind of step back, but the
first thing that we need to dois just don't be so uptight.
(14:44):
Maybe your life is just soscheduled and you need to just
stop and readjust your life.
Dave Merer, the author of daysof our wives, puts it this way
God has made each one of us tobe unique.
A great marriage is not whenthe perfect couple comes
together.
It is when an imperfect couplelearns to enjoy their
(15:04):
differences.
So just don't be uptight, learnto enjoy the differences that we
have that is so good.
Travis Rosinger (15:11):
I really think that's important learning to
enjoy and really let's just say,celebrate right their
differences to go.
Don, you're a numbers person.
That's important to get to sixmiles for you.
It's not for me, but I lovethat about you.
I celebrate that.
I'm not gonna nitpick or orjudge you and just just really
enjoy those differences andthank God that we're not a bunch
(15:32):
of Boring people that areexactly alike.
Dawn Rosinger (15:34):
I have to admit, when I'm stressed out, I can be
a little bit too uptight, I may.
I'll just be the first one tosay that you're probably not
saying anything because you'relike yep, that's true, but I
definitely can be a little tightand sometimes I just need to
let things go and not let whenyou guzzle your water.
Travis Rosinger (15:52):
I should not bother me.
He's gonna be done withwhatever he's drinking in two
seconds.
Dawn Rosinger (15:56):
You know, another way to keep the attitude that
things can just not be wrong,they're just different, is to
laugh at the differences.
We laughed a lot this last week, especially as we were watching
people and seeing just crazythings out there.
But when we started noticingall the differences again, we
just laughed.
We turned the stroller thinginto a game and we would be like
, okay, as a person was walkingup with a stroller.
(16:18):
We'd be like, okay, is it a dogor is it a baby?
You know, we'd have this game.
It's, and we thought it wasreally Hilarious.
But when we finished a walkerworkout and the number wasn't an
even number like I wanted to bean even number, I would just do
a quick lap around the parkinglot while you would just start
the car and turn the AC on andwatch you look really strange
running around the parking lotlaughing and joy even at the
(16:40):
rental car company.
I just started laughing becauseI'm like there is, he's mr
Speedy man, he's off to therental car after hurts to get
our car.
Travis Rosinger (16:47):
Hey man, I just let you go there and I'm like,
here I'll meet you there lateron anyway.
Dawn Rosinger (16:51):
So just laugh at the differences.
Some things are just reallyfunny and we just needed to not
take life so seriously.
Travis Rosinger (16:57):
Yeah, and I think what you're talking about
down is just appreciating thosedifferences, celebrating them.
I mean, I mentioned thisearlier, but life would be
boring if we were the same, andso it's good that we're
different.
Maybe you're listening todayand you're thinking all there's?
There's just this list of eightthings that my spouse does or
says that Drives me crazy, and Ithink it's time to just stop
(17:18):
and and to just realize thatthose differences are a good
thing.
Yep, our differences actuallyhelp us out in the long run,
because it gives us more options.
Dawn Rosinger (17:29):
Yeah, absolutely, because, honestly, if I need to
do something, I get to ask youand you're going to do it a
completely different way.
Travis Rosinger (17:35):
Right, or if I need to go the extra few miles
down, or whatever it is feet,you're going to help me.
You pull me along sometimeswith working out or helping me
stay in shape, and so we'redifferent, but then we're
committed.
Here's what Stephen Covey saysabout differences.
He says strength lies indifferences, not in similarities
(17:55):
.
Dawn Rosinger (17:55):
Wow, they're actually stronger because of the
differences we are.
Travis Rosinger (17:59):
And so couples that are too similar are missing
out, and so what that means isthose of us that have those
maybe even extreme differences,if we start to celebrate them
and see them the way that Godsees them, then we can begin to
leverage those, as you know,kind of a superpower for us as a
couple, and I think, ultimately, we just need to be thankful.
(18:22):
We need to thank God for thosedifferences in our marriages,
between us as husband and wife,and also you need to be thankful
that you're not alone.
Yeah, there might be thingsthat drive me crazy about the
way I go up when I drank down orthe way that you run laps
around a parking lot because wedidn't get to six miles yet, but
we're not alone.
We get to grow old together, weget to live life together,
(18:44):
we're not in isolation, we'renot fighting massive loneliness,
and so I mean we all know manypeople who want a spouse but
they haven't found one yet.
Or we know many people wherethe spouse has passed away and
they are very lonely or livingand alone life.
And so have you ever juststopped and thank God for your
spouse lately?
(19:04):
Even though they may drive younuts at times, I think that's a
really good thing.
Maybe them driving you nuts isyour reminder to be thankful,
right.
Dawn Rosinger (19:13):
I think that goes back to my original question
that I started this episode off.
I said you know, if you onlyhad today what you thank God for
yesterday, would you have yourspouse?
Did I thank God for youyesterday?
Travis Rosinger (19:25):
That's really good.
Dawn Rosinger (19:25):
Because if I didn't, then I wouldn't have you
today.
So that was just a big circle.
Come around like how often doyou thank God for your spouse?
Travis Rosinger (19:33):
That's really good, because you actually
confused me and I didn't fullyunderstand why you were asking
that question.
But now I do and that's why I'mhere today.
I'm thanking.
Dawn Rosinger (19:41):
God for you yesterday, I'm thanking God for
you today, so that I can haveyou tomorrow Energy drinks and
running down rental cars,whatever it is.
Travis Rosinger (19:49):
But here's what Ecclesiastes says.
It says enjoy life with thewife whom you love.
Enjoy life.
Dawn Rosinger (19:56):
Enjoy it, yep.
With your wife and I think wecan put in with the husband whom
you love.
We can definitely interchangethat word wife or husband.
And John 1334 says a newcommandment I give to you that
you love one another.
Just if I have loved you, youalso are to love one another.
So love each other throughthose differences.
(20:17):
Laugh, celebrate each other, Begrateful for each other, but
make sure that you're loving oneanother.
Travis Rosinger (20:22):
Yeah, and the book of Thessalonians, the New
Testament.
It says rejoice always, praywithout ceasing, give thanks in
all circumstances.
This is the will of God andChrist Jesus for you.
What is the will of God, man?
Rejoice always and thank God inall circumstances.
It's pretty clear cut, prettysimple.
Dawn Rosinger (20:42):
Let me go back to that original question.
If you only had today what youthank God for yesterday, what
would that be Again?
Are we allowing thesedifferences to come in and cause
conflict and frustration, to apoint where we're not grateful
for our spouse?
Or are we letting thosedifferences be strengths and
realizing it's actually makingus stronger that we're different
(21:02):
?
Life would be boring if we werethe same.
Travis Rosinger (21:05):
And again, let's celebrate the differences
and thank God that we havesomeone in our life who is
different than us.
Dawn Rosinger (21:11):
Well, with that, we want to thank you for
listening to this episode of theLove in the Fight Marriage
Podcast.
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight.
We'll see you next time.
Looking into.
Start today off a little bitdifferent with this question.
If you only had today what youthank God for yesterday, for
what would that be?
What would you have today?
Starting off with a challengetoday, as I welcome you to the
Love in the Fight MarriagePodcast, my name is Don and I'm
sitting here with my husband, mybest friend, my bed buddy, my
(00:33):
adventure partner, my travelerpartner, travis.
Travis Rosinger (00:36):
Yeah, I think that means we share the sheets
and the covers right?
Yeah, we sure do we do hang outin the same room, but we also
hang out in the same house andlive the same life together and
I'm so grateful for that.
Well, hey, everyone glad tohave you listening today.
We just got back from a week ofvacation on the beaches of
Florida and we say beachesbecause I think we went to like
(00:58):
literally five or six differentbeaches and different parts of
Florida.
It was a beach vacation Super,super fun, had a great time.
Part of it was because theweather was so good.
It was like upper 70s pure sun,no rain.
They said it was the driestseason.
Dawn Rosinger (01:15):
It didn't rain the whole entire week.
It was incredible.
The temperature is 75 to 80.
Like we didn't wear a jacket,you wear shorts every day.
Travis Rosinger (01:21):
Shorts.
That's weird.
Weird for us in Minnesota,because today or yesterday it
was 19 degrees, so super, supercold and Don we got a chance to
go over and spend time with yourbrother.
So we were on the AtlanticOcean and we took a day and
drove two hours to the Gulf ofMexico.
Dawn Rosinger (01:39):
Yeah, went through the Everglades and got
to hang out with my brother andmy sister-in-law, had some great
lunch and we just had coffeefor a couple hours just really
catching up and hanging out.
Travis Rosinger (01:47):
Oh man on a place called Marco Island.
Dawn Rosinger (01:49):
It was paradise.
Travis Rosinger (01:50):
Eating on the water and then drinking
Starbucks sitting outside.
It was so warm and so good.
But part of why we loved ourvacation and part of why we love
pretty much all of ourvacations, is because we work
out every day and get lots ofsteps.
Our goal is to always hit over20,000 steps.
Yeah, over 10 miles, basically,yeah and with a legit workout
(02:11):
in there as well, whether it'slifting weights or running three
to five miles.
Dawn Rosinger (02:14):
But yeah, so that's Well there's kind of a
reason that we do that.
Travis Rosinger (02:17):
There is.
Dawn Rosinger (02:18):
Because when you're on vacation maybe like
everybody, I'm assuming you eata little bit extra calories,
like French fries and chocolateand ice cream and just some
stuff that you wouldn't normallyeat, or three pretty full meals
, versus maybe not three fullmeals on a typical day in a
typical week.
Travis Rosinger (02:36):
Yeah.
So what you're saying is, thereason is sinful.
Dawn Rosinger (02:39):
Yes, we want to be able to eat more.
Travis Rosinger (02:41):
We kind of go off the food wagon when we're on
vacation but why not, you're onvacation, you're having a great
time and there's awesome foodall around.
And again, one of the beachesthat we went to or should I say
a portion of Florida, butcertainly they got beaches there
, but we went to the FloridaKeys, specifically Key Largo,
and then we went past it and isLa Morbada I don't even know how
(03:02):
to say the name of it's likefour islands altogether.
Dawn Rosinger (03:05):
Robbies is right, robbies, yes.
Restaurant where you can dosomething very interesting.
Travis Rosinger (03:11):
Very not safe no, not at all Very, maybe
stupid on my part.
Dawn Rosinger (03:14):
And you pay to do this.
Travis Rosinger (03:16):
Everybody was doing it.
So I was like, hey, why not?
I'll give it a try.
So we paid 10 bucks for abucket of fish and we were able
to feed some of the biggest fishwe have ever seen in our lives.
You just stick your hand downthrough a net in the middle of a
dock and there are what Like ahundred fish in there, but
they're big.
Dawn Rosinger (03:34):
They're like 80 pound fish Long yeah.
Travis Rosinger (03:36):
With like huge teeth.
Dawn Rosinger (03:38):
And they're called tarpons right.
Travis Rosinger (03:39):
Yeah, they look like they can bite your finger
off and so you're dangling this.
They're teeth.
They actually show people.
Dawn Rosinger (03:44):
when I asked the gentleman and Mike so do people
get baked?
He goes yeah, sometimes peoplebleed and like, oh, we're paying
to do this.
Travis Rosinger (03:50):
Yeah, sometimes there's blood, let there be
blood.
You were a little bit braverthan I was.
Dawn Rosinger (03:54):
I know you went first, put your hand down there.
And the fish?
You can see them and they'rejust staring at you holding this
fish.
Travis Rosinger (03:59):
They are.
Dawn Rosinger (04:01):
Just for the exact moment and they jump out
of the water and they grabbedthe fish out of your hand.
Travis Rosinger (04:06):
It's crazy and I was like you were holding your
fish over the big fish and Iwas like Don, it looks like he's
about to, and then you justjump and I dropped the fish.
Dawn Rosinger (04:15):
I was so bummed because he was about to hit you
know, take the fish out of myhand, but you scared me.
I dropped the fish.
But when you were doing itthere was actually what type of
bird was attacking you.
Travis Rosinger (04:24):
Yes, a pelican came up from behind.
Have a picture.
Started to pack me a one, thefish.
Oh my gosh, that was funny.
Anyway, such a good week, superfun.
Dawn Rosinger (04:34):
You know, one thing that we do, though, while
we were gone.
Honestly, what I kind of doevery time we go on vacation is
I pay attention to everythingthat's around us.
I love adventure, I loveexploring and people watching
People absolutely fascinating.
Travis Rosinger (04:47):
That's a lot of fun.
There's a lot of us different,unique, unusual people on the
planet, including us.
Dawn Rosinger (04:52):
Yeah we're from Minnesota, so everyone else in
the United States.
They do different things thanwe do.
But I realized really quickthat we really all do different
things, not wrong, but honestlyextremely different, Different.
The way that we do things.
I know we noticed a ton ofpeople.
They were walking withstrollers like, oh, I love
babies, I love kids, oh yeah,and it turned out they didn't
(05:15):
have babies in these strollers,they were dogs and even a few
cats in them.
It wasn't just a few people,but there was numerous people
that were pushing strollers anddogs and cats were in them so
many.
Travis Rosinger (05:26):
Apparently they're fur babies that's what
they are, because they weren'treal babies when we would be all
excited.
Oh there's this, you know ladywith her kids and the stroller,
or this grandpa with hisgrandchild, and nope, nope, it
was some big hairy dog, a hairydog or a cat, you know again,
not wrong, but just verydifferent.
Dawn Rosinger (05:44):
Right Travis, extremely different, yeah, yeah.
Travis Rosinger (05:46):
Yeah, one of the things that we noticed when
we were, you know, on ourvacation and on the Gulf of
Mexico, we were on Marco Islandand went to the beach to watch
the sunset.
And as we got out there werethree raccoons right by our car.
We didn't notice them rightaway, but as we got out we were
like wait a second, they'reright by our car.
Dawn Rosinger (06:05):
You were just trying to pay for the parking
and it was this big garbage canand these big raccoons.
Travis Rosinger (06:10):
Yeah, they were right there on the garbage cans
and we had to walk by thegarbage cans to get to this dock
that take us to the ocean, tothe beach.
Dawn Rosinger (06:17):
Well, and it wasn't just those garbage cans,
there were.
Every garbage can had raccoons.
It was crazy.
Everyone would draw a line likethere's raccoons.
Travis Rosinger (06:22):
Yeah, we walked to the beach and then came back
after the sun was starting toset and there were more, and so
we're like how do we get back onthis dock?
They're just sitting there.
Dawn Rosinger (06:31):
And I know, I think raccoons are kind of mean,
at least the ones I love herein Minnesota.
You don't mess around with araccoon because they can bite
you or they can attack you.
Travis Rosinger (06:40):
Yeah, especially if they think that
you're going to take their food.
Well, when we started comingback, not only had we seen them
on the way, but when we startedcoming back, there were raccoons
and we were like making noiseand trying to scare them away.
And all of a sudden we lookedover at a lady who was smiling
really big and we were like, hey, there's raccoons here, you
better be careful.
And she looked back at us andshe goes yeah, I know, I just
(07:01):
bought them a huge chickendinner.
Dawn Rosinger (07:05):
And she was all excited.
We were trying to warn herabout these raccoons and she is
welcoming them and she's feedingthem a chicken dinner.
And she was all excited andwe're like, OK, wow, what a
different perspective.
Travis Rosinger (07:16):
Apparently raccoon Uber eats whatever
delivers them.
You know kind of thing.
What do you call it DoorDash?
For raccoons and we're justtrying to stay alive.
We don't want the things tobite us or kill us, or kill us
or give us some kind of diseaseor whatever.
Dawn Rosinger (07:32):
But they're crazy Again.
Just, we were looking at theexact same thing, the exact same
raccoons, but just two verydifferent perspectives.
Right, so not necessarily wrong, but just different.
Travis Rosinger (07:42):
She loved them, thought they were maybe really
great pets or something.
We thought they were dangerous.
Dawn Rosinger (07:47):
I wonder if she probably pushes her on her dog
and a stroller.
Travis Rosinger (07:51):
I think she does Not that that's a bad thing
.
If you do that, you'relistening.
Hey, more power to you.
Dawn Rosinger (07:56):
There's some dogs that probably have to be in
strollers.
Travis Rosinger (07:58):
Yes, yeah, maybe if they have heart
problems or hip problems orsomething.
Dawn Rosinger (08:02):
So we're not bashing the people If you're
doing that.
No, it's just when you'reexpecting a baby.
Travis Rosinger (08:06):
Please don't put your great dane though.
Yeah, and a stroller, thatcould look a little weird.
Dawn Rosinger (08:11):
Well, you know what I think for us personally,
we did a lot of thingsdifferently on our trip, like
one thing that you guys need toknow about Travis is when we go
on a trip, he has this pursuitof the rental car company.
Travis Rosinger (08:25):
Yes.
Dawn Rosinger (08:25):
You know what?
He instantly becomes like amarathon runner.
When we landed the airport andwe have to get our rental car,
he wants to be the first one inline.
So if you sit next to him onthe tram or the shuttle man, you
better be careful, because heis just out that door, grabs his
language and speed, walks tothe car rental.
And hear me me, I'm on vacation.
I run a very you know we'revery busy people, but when I'm
(08:49):
on vacation I'm literally onvacation.
So I want to walk.
I'm absolutely in no hurry.
I'm in a hurry the rest of mylife.
I don't want to be in hurry onvacation, but, man, you travel
as well.
Look out like here comes Travis.
He goes and he gets in, hebecomes the first person in line
to get that rental car.
Travis Rosinger (09:03):
I usually wait by the bus door, the tram door
and not sit down, and then Ijust book it.
I'm like I'll see you in anhour, yep, and I go get the car
and it works.
But if we don't book it and wejust kind of stroll along like
everybody else, it ends up beingthree hours to get a rental car
.
Dawn Rosinger (09:19):
Yeah, not wrong, just different, right we are
different.
Travis Rosinger (09:22):
Yes, well, I know too, when we were walking
on the beach or working out, don, you're somebody who is so
different than me, like I canget to 5.95 miles and be done,
because, well, I hit my timelimit or whatever.
Dawn Rosinger (09:38):
But why be done at 5.95?
Travis Rosinger (09:40):
Right, you're a numbers person.
It blows up your brain to quitearly.
According to you, it's notearly to me.
Dawn Rosinger (09:45):
Well, it's an odd number.
You can't end on an odd number.
Yeah, Like can you.
How can you end on an oddnumber?
Travis Rosinger (09:51):
You can end on an even number or an odd number,
I don't think it matters.
But you think there's rules andso there could be a little
friction there.
Sometimes I'm like, hey, keepgoing if you want, but I'm done
at 5.95 miles.
Dawn Rosinger (10:03):
But you know our watch, you have distances, you
have calories, you have time.
I just which one do you pick?
They just can't be odd numbers.
Travis Rosinger (10:10):
Yeah, so not wrong.
We're just very different interms of it's not the different
that I want.
Your different is the differentthat you want.
Man and we just got home, justlanded in our plane just a few
minutes ago I think it was maybean hour and a half ago, 90
minutes ago and we're sodifferent on airplanes.
Don you think you're going todie when you take off in an
airplane?
(10:30):
You?
Dawn Rosinger (10:31):
think the tail is going to scrape on the runway
and you're going to crash andburn, and I saw it not that long
ago on the news that there wasa plane.
Yeah, that doesn't happen, bythe way.
Travis Rosinger (10:38):
That was really weird.
But I'm different, because Ithink that when we go to land,
that's when we're going to die.
And you're like, well, we'recloser to the ground, so we're
going to live, and I'm like, no,no, no, they crash land Like
that's what happens.
Dawn Rosinger (10:53):
Yeah, but we're getting closer to the ground.
It's safer it feels like saferthan going up.
Travis Rosinger (10:57):
Again, the way we think is so different.
We're completely differentpeople.
Dawn Rosinger (11:01):
Again, yeah, not just wrong, just very different,
very different perspectives,very different people, and
that's okay.
Well, that was just a fewthings on a vacation that I
noticed, but honestly, beyondvacation, every single day we're
different.
There's certain things that wedo.
We fold our towels differentlyand, according to you, like
(11:22):
that's the only way to fold thetowel.
Travis Rosinger (11:24):
Oh yeah, for sure.
No, I've got the right plan.
Dawn Rosinger (11:28):
I actually refold his towels.
Which is sad because my carwanted him to look the same way.
You know we drink differently.
When you drink, Travis, youtake a drink, you drink really,
really loud.
Yeah, you gulp, you gulp.
And when I drink, you can'teven hear that I'm drinking.
Travis Rosinger (11:45):
Which I wonder if you're enjoying your drink.
I'm like if you enjoyed ityou'd make noise.
You?
Dawn Rosinger (11:49):
know we drive very differently.
I drive slower than you.
I take my time.
You actually want me to.
You make me have to speed fivemiles per hour over if I'm
driving right.
Don't tell anybody that you sayyou can drive, but you have to
go at least five miles over.
You're giving away my secrets.
Well, you just drive faster andyou know when you need to get
(12:09):
in.
You need to cut into a lane.
You just cut in Like you barelyuse a blinker.
Travis Rosinger (12:12):
And I'm just like, I'm like.
Dawn Rosinger (12:14):
I'm all patience.
I'm like they'll let me in whenthey want to, and I put my
blinker on like a half a mileaway Don.
Travis Rosinger (12:20):
let's be honest .
You get people months noticethat you're going to change
lanes.
I do.
Dawn Rosinger (12:24):
I'm a very I'm just a very polite driver.
You know we spend our allowancedifferently.
We were Dave Ramsey fans, orstill are Dave Ramsey fans, and
he talks about allowance.
So we started allowance a long,long time ago, something that
we've carried, you know, throughto this day.
But you, you buy energy drinksor kombucha with your you know,
with your allowance for I tendto buy clothes or shoes.
(12:46):
I save up for something, orsave up.
Travis Rosinger (12:48):
What a waste of money.
Something different, no, youshould buy.
You should buy the good stuff.
Dawn Rosinger (12:51):
Anyways, we just do a lot of things that are not
wrong, but they're justdifferent.
Travis Rosinger (12:58):
And again.
You know I guess I say again,but actually we haven't said
this yet.
But that's Emerson.
Egrics said that once and thatreally stuck with us Not wrong,
just different, and he's anawesome guy and it really helped
us to understand wait we're.
We're different, and that'sokay.
Dawn Rosinger (13:14):
Yeah, and honestly, everybody's different.
Travis Rosinger (13:16):
just like looking at our vacation, all the
different people, the strollerpeople or the raccoon people, I
mean, everyone's just differenteveryone's different and couples
are different in marriages, sosometimes, though, these
differences, as you guys canimagine, as we've alluded to,
can actually cause a ton ofConflict.
You ever find yourself and yourspouse just getting in a big
fight over something reallypetty and stupid, one of these
(13:38):
differences and, of course, ineveryday life, well, even when
we're not on vacation, thesethings can actually be super
annoying and we can argue overthem.
I think they're easier to laughat and goof around about, don,
when we're just coming back fromvacation.
Dawn Rosinger (13:52):
But when we're stressed out and there's a lot
going on cute anymore not notvery cute, no.
Travis Rosinger (13:57):
So here's what Elizabeth moon once said.
She said it's not wrong to bedifferent.
Sometimes it is hard, but it'snot wrong.
Hmm, that's so true I think weneed to be reminded of that that
there's a reason why we aredrawn to each other and we give
each other rings and say I do,and it's partly because God
brings those differencestogether so that we can be
(14:20):
strong for each other.
Dawn Rosinger (14:22):
Yeah, so how do we keep the attitude that things
can be not wrong, but justdifferent?
So how do we keep that attitudewithout causing Frustration and
bringing in, you know, a lot ofconflict into a marriage, which
these little things can?
Honestly, I think it's a timeto kind of step back, but the
first thing that we need to dois just don't be so uptight.
(14:44):
Maybe your life is just soscheduled and you need to just
stop and readjust your life.
Dave Merer, the author of daysof our wives, puts it this way
God has made each one of us tobe unique.
A great marriage is not whenthe perfect couple comes
together.
It is when an imperfect couplelearns to enjoy their
(15:04):
differences.
So just don't be uptight, learnto enjoy the differences that we
have that is so good.
Travis Rosinger (15:11):
I really think that's important learning to
enjoy and really let's just say,celebrate right their
differences to go.
Don, you're a numbers person.
That's important to get to sixmiles for you.
It's not for me, but I lovethat about you.
I celebrate that.
I'm not gonna nitpick or orjudge you and just just really
enjoy those differences andthank God that we're not a bunch
(15:32):
of Boring people that areexactly alike.
Dawn Rosinger (15:34):
I have to admit, when I'm stressed out, I can be
a little bit too uptight, I may.
I'll just be the first one tosay that you're probably not
saying anything because you'relike yep, that's true, but I
definitely can be a little tightand sometimes I just need to
let things go and not let whenyou guzzle your water.
Travis Rosinger (15:52):
I should not bother me.
He's gonna be done withwhatever he's drinking in two
seconds.
Dawn Rosinger (15:56):
You know, another way to keep the attitude that
things can just not be wrong,they're just different, is to
laugh at the differences.
We laughed a lot this last week, especially as we were watching
people and seeing just crazythings out there.
But when we started noticingall the differences again, we
just laughed.
We turned the stroller thinginto a game and we would be like
, okay, as a person was walkingup with a stroller.
(16:18):
We'd be like, okay, is it a dogor is it a baby?
You know, we'd have this game.
It's, and we thought it wasreally Hilarious.
But when we finished a walkerworkout and the number wasn't an
even number like I wanted to bean even number, I would just do
a quick lap around the parkinglot while you would just start
the car and turn the AC on andwatch you look really strange
running around the parking lotlaughing and joy even at the
(16:40):
rental car company.
I just started laughing becauseI'm like there is, he's mr
Speedy man, he's off to therental car after hurts to get
our car.
Travis Rosinger (16:47):
Hey man, I just let you go there and I'm like,
here I'll meet you there lateron anyway.
Dawn Rosinger (16:51):
So just laugh at the differences.
Some things are just reallyfunny and we just needed to not
take life so seriously.
Travis Rosinger (16:57):
Yeah, and I think what you're talking about
down is just appreciating thosedifferences, celebrating them.
I mean, I mentioned thisearlier, but life would be
boring if we were the same, andso it's good that we're
different.
Maybe you're listening todayand you're thinking all there's?
There's just this list of eightthings that my spouse does or
says that Drives me crazy, and Ithink it's time to just stop
(17:18):
and and to just realize thatthose differences are a good
thing.
Yep, our differences actuallyhelp us out in the long run,
because it gives us more options.
Dawn Rosinger (17:29):
Yeah, absolutely, because, honestly, if I need to
do something, I get to ask youand you're going to do it a
completely different way.
Travis Rosinger (17:35):
Right, or if I need to go the extra few miles
down, or whatever it is feet,you're going to help me.
You pull me along sometimeswith working out or helping me
stay in shape, and so we'redifferent, but then we're
committed.
Here's what Stephen Covey saysabout differences.
He says strength lies indifferences, not in similarities
(17:55):
.
Dawn Rosinger (17:55):
Wow, they're actually stronger because of the
differences we are.
Travis Rosinger (17:59):
And so couples that are too similar are missing
out, and so what that means isthose of us that have those
maybe even extreme differences,if we start to celebrate them
and see them the way that Godsees them, then we can begin to
leverage those, as you know,kind of a superpower for us as a
couple, and I think, ultimately, we just need to be thankful.
(18:22):
We need to thank God for thosedifferences in our marriages,
between us as husband and wife,and also you need to be thankful
that you're not alone.
Yeah, there might be thingsthat drive me crazy about the
way I go up when I drank down orthe way that you run laps
around a parking lot because wedidn't get to six miles yet, but
we're not alone.
We get to grow old together, weget to live life together,
(18:44):
we're not in isolation, we'renot fighting massive loneliness,
and so I mean we all know manypeople who want a spouse but
they haven't found one yet.
Or we know many people wherethe spouse has passed away and
they are very lonely or livingand alone life.
And so have you ever juststopped and thank God for your
spouse lately?
(19:04):
Even though they may drive younuts at times, I think that's a
really good thing.
Maybe them driving you nuts isyour reminder to be thankful,
right.
Dawn Rosinger (19:13):
I think that goes back to my original question
that I started this episode off.
I said you know, if you onlyhad today what you thank God for
yesterday, would you have yourspouse?
Did I thank God for youyesterday?
Travis Rosinger (19:25):
That's really good.
Dawn Rosinger (19:25):
Because if I didn't, then I wouldn't have you
today.
So that was just a big circle.
Come around like how often doyou thank God for your spouse?
Travis Rosinger (19:33):
That's really good, because you actually
confused me and I didn't fullyunderstand why you were asking
that question.
But now I do and that's why I'mhere today.
I'm thanking.
Dawn Rosinger (19:41):
God for you yesterday, I'm thanking God for
you today, so that I can haveyou tomorrow Energy drinks and
running down rental cars,whatever it is.
Travis Rosinger (19:49):
But here's what Ecclesiastes says.
It says enjoy life with thewife whom you love.
Enjoy life.
Dawn Rosinger (19:56):
Enjoy it, yep.
With your wife and I think wecan put in with the husband whom
you love.
We can definitely interchangethat word wife or husband.
And John 1334 says a newcommandment I give to you that
you love one another.
Just if I have loved you, youalso are to love one another.
So love each other throughthose differences.
(20:17):
Laugh, celebrate each other, Begrateful for each other, but
make sure that you're loving oneanother.
Travis Rosinger (20:22):
Yeah, and the book of Thessalonians, the New
Testament.
It says rejoice always, praywithout ceasing, give thanks in
all circumstances.
This is the will of God andChrist Jesus for you.
What is the will of God, man?
Rejoice always and thank God inall circumstances.
It's pretty clear cut, prettysimple.
Dawn Rosinger (20:42):
Let me go back to that original question.
If you only had today what youthank God for yesterday, what
would that be Again?
Are we allowing thesedifferences to come in and cause
conflict and frustration, to apoint where we're not grateful
for our spouse?
Or are we letting thosedifferences be strengths and
realizing it's actually makingus stronger that we're different
(21:02):
?
Life would be boring if we werethe same.
Travis Rosinger (21:05):
And again, let's celebrate the differences
and thank God that we havesomeone in our life who is
different than us.
Dawn Rosinger (21:11):
Well, with that, we want to thank you for
listening to this episode of theLove in the Fight Marriage
Podcast.
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight.
We'll see you next time.
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