March 19, 2024 • 20 mins
Fix your leaking tire over and over again by putting air in it or drop it off at the tire shop to prepare it for getting new tires? Which makes more sense? The right answer is get the new tires and never have to deal with fixing the old tires again! It's the same way in marriage. Are you and your spouse always trying to repair something broken with your relationship only to have new cracks emerge later on due to the fact that that portion of your relationship was never really mended to begin with? It's time to change that. YOU can change that!!
Join hosts, Travis and Dawn Rosinger, as they share about the concept of preparing in marriage and repairing in marriage. They give relevant examples on how any couple can begin to prepare their marriage for a much better future and one with a lot less relational repairs. Get ready to laugh and learn as Travis and Dawn get vulnerable about life, marriage and their own shortcomings. You won't want to miss this one!
Travis and Dawn Rosinger are the Loving The Fight Marriage Podcast Hosts and Authors of the books, Verbalosity - 7 Steps to a Verbally Generous and More Fulfilling Marriage and their newest book, Gripping - What Matters Most | A Life and Relationships That Hold on to You
For more information about Travis and Dawn Rosinger go to Loving The Fight
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Travis Rosinger (00:12):
Man, you could be doing anything else right now
, but you have tuned in and weare so glad.
Well, with that, welcome to theloving the fight marriage
podcast.
My name is Travis and I'mhanging out chilling in our
basement studio with my wifeDawn.
Dawn Rosinger (00:27):
Hey everyone.
So, travis, let me ask if youweren't doing this right now,
what would you be doing rightnow?
Travis Rosinger (00:31):
What would I be doing?
I'd be studying Swedish,probably sipping something like
hot tea and just having my feetup, relaxing yeah.
Dawn Rosinger (00:41):
Oh, no, makes it.
I would do something veryactive.
I love to be active, so I wouldeither be playing pickleball or
I'd be, you know, working out,running something active.
But honestly, I must admit, welove being able to be do this
podcast.
It's one of our highlights ofour week, so I don't know if
much can get better than this.
Travis Rosinger (00:58):
I know it's literally.
It's funny you mentioned thatbecause I got super excited when
we headed down here and gotready to record.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this isso much fun.
Well, we're glad that you guysagain are listening and we've
had a great week and a not sogreat week.
There are some things that kindof made our week really really
(01:20):
good or are about to make ourweek extra good.
I should say your week donebecause you ordered something in
the mail a bit of a splurge,but I think it's something that
you're super amped on.
Dawn Rosinger (01:33):
I am super excited.
I ordered a new pair of shoesand I keep looking at the
tracking and it says they'resupposed to come today and,
honestly, it is almost eighto'clock at night and they
haven't come yet.
So I'm wondering if they'regoing to come.
But I am pumped.
They are just a really coolNike tennis shoe that I've been
just looking at and I'm like youknow what?
(01:53):
I'm just going to order them.
I want these.
I had some bonus money you did.
You know, and people are likewhat's bonus money?
Kind of like little refundsthat you get here and there, a
little bonus money that youweren't counting, that wasn't a
part of your budget.
It's bonus money.
So I took it and I bought thesereally cool Nikes.
Travis Rosinger (02:09):
And you know what I think you should do.
I think you should send up thebat signal you know that goes up
into the sky to let them knowthat we need their help.
We need them to drop off thesenew shoes, that you are so
excited to be able to have theirAir Force ones.
Dawn Rosinger (02:25):
They're just a kind of a double swish.
I love the color.
Yeah, I'm looking forward towearing them.
Travis Rosinger (02:32):
So a great week , as long as they come tonight
at eight o'clock.
You got to order them onlinelast week so I know that, you
know, really put some wind inyour sales.
But it was a not so great week,just to be honest, guys.
I had surgery in my mouth, kindof like dental surgery, and
this is like part two.
I had it like five months ago,six months ago, and it worked.
(02:52):
But it didn't work, and so thenthey had to do it again, and so
that was last Monday and theywere in my mouth for what felt
like an hour and a half, twohours like drilling and scraping
and moving things aroundliterally moving things around,
because part of it is like agrafting kind of surgery, and so
, man, I feel great andtypically you love going to the
(03:14):
dentist.
Dawn Rosinger (03:14):
It wasn't necessarily a dentist, but
because genetically some of yourgums had recessed a little bit
and we have a great periodontistwho said that they could graft
some gums in there, just in thatone little area.
Travis Rosinger (03:25):
Neured, so then your teeth would be healthy in
that area Protected Great smile.
Dawn Rosinger (03:29):
It's crazy that they can do it, but something
that they did, and so we'rehoping that this one is
successful.
But it's crazy, because youwere told that you couldn't do
what for three weeks.
Travis Rosinger (03:38):
I could not smile, and that's part of why
it's not been a great week.
Certainly, the surgery feltlike it got punched in the mouth
, but I'm a smiler.
You are, you're constantlysmiling.
Dawn Rosinger (03:50):
Now I know like you have to put your hand over
your lip over that one Over mycheek, my lip yeah to make sure
that you're not smiling.
So it's been an odd week.
I feel bad.
I know you're over, themajority of the pain I think is
gone, but you keep putting yourhand on your cheek.
Travis Rosinger (04:04):
Still can't smile.
So then you can't smile.
But yeah, I'm like I don'tthink this word works, but I'm a
prolific smiler.
You are Obsessive smile, I'mjust happy.
Dawn Rosinger (04:13):
You are a very happy person.
Travis Rosinger (04:14):
I love to smile and life is very, very good.
Dawn Rosinger (04:17):
Right, and so why you were recovering on the
couch from this surgery.
I ordered shoes.
I didn't say that's not a veryfair trade, right?
I had bonus money and orderedshoes and you got surgery and
you can't smile.
Travis Rosinger (04:29):
I got punched in the mouth.
Dawn Rosinger (04:30):
I kinda got the better end of the deal this week
.
Travis Rosinger (04:32):
What the heck just happened.
That is so not fair.
Dawn Rosinger (04:36):
Well, you guys, I know we talk about a lot
different books that we read.
We wanna make sure that we'rereading God's word every day,
but then just growing as aleader and growing ourselves,
and so we read books or we haveAudible, so we listen to books.
Travis Rosinger (04:50):
Yeah, both.
Dawn Rosinger (04:51):
Right now.
I just finished a book.
A few weeks ago we both didHidden Potential, which we
highly recommend.
Oh my gosh so good.
But then I'm just in the middleof the book called Be the
Unicorn by William VanderBloomand honestly, it's just 12
data-driven habits that separatethe best leaders from the rest.
So basically it talks about howto stand out in a crowd.
Be the unicorn.
(05:11):
Unicorns definitely stand outin the crowd right?
Travis Rosinger (05:13):
Yeah, you know, I think of being a unicorn.
It's like I wanna be a unicorn,but I wanna also not stab
people.
Dawn Rosinger (05:20):
You know, with the big horn and sticks out of
my head.
Travis Rosinger (05:23):
And so when I move quickly I just have lots of
energy and kind of a hypedperson.
And man, if I just whipped myhead around and I truly had a
unicorn sticking out of my head,like I would impale somebody on
my forehead you would, it wouldbe dangerous.
Dawn Rosinger (05:35):
You shouldn't be the unicorn in that sense.
You could be a unicorn of aleader, but not an actual
unicorn, but again, the book'scalled Be the Unicorn by William
VanderBloom.
It's a very good book.
I'm almost finished with it now, but I started it last week and
I began the book in thebeginning, which is always a
forward.
Someone typically writessomething about the book, and
(05:57):
the forward in this book waswritten by John Maxwell and he
said this quote and it just gotme thinking.
You know one of those quotesthat you're hearing.
You're like man, like what doesthis look like?
So I kind of dug into a littlebit more.
But the quote is this every daywe are either preparing or
repairing.
He then said it is better toprepare than repair.
(06:19):
And so I was thinking aboutthis.
It just really got my mindgoing.
I'm like, okay, prepare versusrepair, like what's better.
You know what is he trying tosay.
Travis Rosinger (06:29):
Yeah, kind of like a mental bomb.
It just blows up.
You're like, okay, I got tohang out.
There's fallout from thismental bomb.
I just got to think thisthrough and get a feel like what
should this look like?
What could it look like?
Dawn Rosinger (06:42):
And it's so cool because it actually rhymes too.
So you're like you're reallymaking it.
It kind of makes it stick.
You know, better to preparethan repair.
So what does that mean?
What are some examples?
What does it look like toprepare rather than to repair?
So I was able to find some ofthem.
We just we talked about it alittle bit more.
I'm like what are some examples?
So how about this?
(07:02):
It's better to take an umbrellathan to get caught in the rain,
right?
Travis Rosinger (07:05):
I mean honestly , look at how long it takes me
to do my hair.
I hate getting rained on too,I'd rather just take the
umbrella.
Dawn Rosinger (07:10):
Or it's better to follow a budget than to run out
of money.
Oh my Like, follow the budget,then you won't run out of money.
Travis Rosinger (07:17):
Who wants to run out of money?
Dawn Rosinger (07:18):
It's better to tighten a loose screw than to
damage a chair or a machine.
I know that happens upstairs inour chairs.
Sometimes the screw is looseand you have to tighten it,
otherwise your chair willdestroy.
It's better to invest whileyounger than play catch up when
older.
A couple other examples of thisis it's better to change your
oil than to replace your engine,and I think anyone that's
(07:41):
younger needs to know that.
Travis Rosinger (07:42):
That's funny.
I think a Bob Goff who said hisdad gave him a truck and said
you got to keep changing the oiland he said he drove it over
100,000 miles and never oncechanged the oil and then of
course it blew up when I had myfirst car.
Dawn Rosinger (07:53):
I never changed the oil, but I just kept adding
oil to it.
Because, no one ever told methat should change it.
They just said don't ever letit get lower than a certain
point.
So I just kept adding oil.
Well, I guess I didn't havethat car very long.
Maybe that's why.
Another example of this is it'sbetter to see a dentist when
your tooth hurts than when itneeds replacing Right Like we,
(08:14):
you just want to the dentist,but yeah, you don't want to have
to replace a tooth, I want totake care of what I have.
It's better to go to a grocerystore and take a list with you
than to have to go back to thatstore later Like that's a bummer
and maybe for you it's betterfor me to text you that list
than to tag you with that one.
Or, lastly, it's better todrink water than become
(08:35):
dehydrated.
So you can see that those arejust examples of preparing
rather than having to repair.
Travis Rosinger (08:42):
Yeah, and you know, I just think it makes life
more efficient.
Everything goes more smoothly,you enjoy life better, and you
know it's interesting becausethere are some real spiritual
ties there as well, when wethink of that in terms of
spirituality.
The Bible talks about us beingready, being prepared
spiritually, and so it's notjust with the things that the
(09:03):
examples that you gave Don, butalso in other ways.
I mean, jesus said in Matthew24, 42, he says so always be
ready, in other words, beprepared, because you don't know
the day your Lord will come.
Dawn Rosinger (09:17):
Wow, that's important Be ready.
It makes you stop and thinkokay, what do I have to be ready
for?
Travis Rosinger (09:22):
I know, and there ain't no repair, and when
the Lord comes you might justmiss him.
Dawn Rosinger (09:26):
Yeah, you don't want to be left behind.
Travis Rosinger (09:28):
You don't, and you know Paul the apostle.
He writes in 2 Timothy aboutbeing prepared.
He says preach the word andthen he says be ready to do it.
Whether it's convenient orinconvenient, be ready.
Dawn Rosinger (09:41):
How can you preach the word if you're not
ready?
You?
Have to know the word, topreach the word.
Travis Rosinger (09:45):
You got to study it, you got to listen to
it, you got to submerge yourmind and your soul and your
spirit in it.
And first Peter 315, it saysbut in your hearts, honor Christ
the Lord as holy, always beingprepared to make a defense to
anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you.
Wow, man, be prepared.
(10:06):
That's a constant theme in theBible, but especially in the New
Testament, and so it just makessense.
It makes sense to preparerather than have to repair, and
I'm so glad that John Maxwellmade that statement, because you
know it really is a huge chunkgolden nugget, chunk of wisdom.
Dawn Rosinger (10:28):
For some reason, this makes me think of when
you're about to start a race andit's like ready, set, go.
You have to get in thatposition, that ready position,
set and go.
And I don't think you can justgo without getting ready.
You have to be ready.
Travis Rosinger (10:42):
Yeah, and think of everything that a runner has
to do prior to that.
Certainly they got to be readyto just you know vault out of
that, you know that place forthe you know kickoff of the race
.
But then there was probably ayear or two is worth of
preparation.
Dawn Rosinger (10:55):
Oh, tons of preparation, otherwise you get
left in the dust.
Travis Rosinger (10:58):
So here it is.
The fact is that it's wise toprepare.
When we prepare here's whathappens we greatly reduce the
likelihood of the need to repair.
It's so important to prepare.
Dawn Rosinger (11:11):
You know, as I was reading this book, it kind
of T-boned me, because readingthis made me think about
marriage and, in the same way,how are you preparing now in
your marriage so you don't haveto repair?
So we stopped Travis this a few, you know, minutes ago and like
what are some different waysthat we have to prepare so we
don't have to repair in ourmarriage?
Instantly the first thing thatcame to my mind is are you
(11:32):
spending time with God inbuilding that relationship with
him, or will you run dry andbecome spiritually bankrupt and
not walk in the fruits of thespirit, causing a lot of
conflict?
Like don't you think that'shuge in marriage?
Or how about this?
Are you going out on dates andgrowing your relationship so
that when you empty nest youhaven't grown apart?
(11:52):
Take the time to get to knoweach other so you're not growing
apart?
Travis Rosinger (11:56):
Yeah, and empty nesting for those of you that
don't know is when you kick thelittle people that have actually
become big people their adultsout of your basement, your house
, and they spread their wingsand fly and it's like, hey, we
wanna know each other, we wannahave a relationship with each
other, so what?
Dawn Rosinger (12:11):
are we doing?
Travis Rosinger (12:12):
right now with our little, and there's so many
of you that have little onesright now that are listening,
and so go on those dates.
Dawn Rosinger (12:18):
Make sure you're preparing now so you don't have
to repair later.
How about this?
Communication is such animportant thing when it comes to
marriage?
Are you communicating daily toavoid simple conflicts that have
to do with just your time oryour schedule?
Just letting your spouse know,hey, I'm gonna be doing this
today.
I'm not gonna be here to avoidthat conflict?
Travis Rosinger (12:37):
Yeah, and it helps so much to just keep those
channels flowing and stay onthe same page.
Dawn Rosinger (12:41):
Honestly, what does this look like for your
marriage?
How are you preparing so youcan avoid repairing later on?
Is your marriage living in astate of preparing, or is it
living in a state of repairing?
Travis Rosinger (12:55):
Oh my, that's a great question.
Is your marriage living in astate of preparing or repairing?
And why am I repeating that?
Because, Don, you and I areliving that example right now,
not so much in our marriage, buthere's an example from
literally what feels like anhour ago.
We bought a brand new set oftires.
A year ago on our SUV.
Dawn Rosinger (13:16):
I don't think it was a whole year yet.
Travis Rosinger (13:18):
Nine months ago and from the moment we got them
it's like okay, they would losesome air and we'd fill them up.
And it would be like everymonth we'd have to fill them up.
And now it's gotten to thepoint where it's almost like
every week and a half, two weekswe've got to fill them up.
Dawn Rosinger (13:34):
they're losing air.
We've brought these tires backthree times, like our car in
we're like and said, hey, tiresare not keeping air.
What's wrong?
Travis Rosinger (13:42):
This has never happened to us in our life.
Yeah, so the but the point isis, we can keep adding air to
our tires or we can just go backin one last time, a fourth time
and say okay, guys, put newtires on.
Dawn Rosinger (13:58):
Yes, we're done with these.
Something that happened withthese tires they're not working.
Travis Rosinger (14:02):
We'll take the warranty, throw the money on new
tires, we're done with them.
Why?
Because then we're preparing toget new tires by bringing it
back, and then we won't have tofill up the air anymore.
We don't have to fix it, andthat's fixing.
It is like a bandage, justputting more air in the tires.
And so what does that look likein your marriage?
What does that look like inyour relationship?
Dawn Rosinger (14:22):
There's an incredible quote by Benjamin
Franklin.
He said this by failing toprepare, you are preparing to
fail.
It's like you're almost youknow planning to fail.
If you're not preparing, thenyou're planning on failing.
We have to prepare.
Travis Rosinger (14:36):
Yeah, you are preparing to fail because you're
not being intentional.
And being intentional isabsolutely what we need If
you're going to fight for yourmarriage.
That's why we're loving thefight, that's why we're doing
this podcast, that's why wefight for one another down and
you and I go on dates all thetime and try to really stay
connected.
And we're not perfect.
We have arguments and fighteach other sometimes.
Dawn Rosinger (14:57):
We know that we have to prepare in order so we
don't have to repair.
And sometimes we have to repair.
We're still human and wedefinitely make mistakes, but
let's live in that state ofpreparation.
Travis Rosinger (15:07):
Yeah, absolutely Well.
Hey guys, we wanted to, as weturn a corner and wind this
episode down, we wanted to giveyou five simple ways to prepare
in your marriage and honestly,there could be 20 or 30 other
ways.
This is not a comprehensivelist, but this is a great
mini-list, just kind of a shotin the arm for your marriage.
As you listen to this,individually or with your spouse
(15:29):
, here's some quick things youcan do to really prepare so that
you're not repairing later on.
First of all, just invest intime together.
We can't say this enough.
There's something powerfulabout time together where it has
nothing to do with kids, hasnothing to do with your jobs or
finances or arguing about life.
No, no, no.
(15:49):
Just have fun together.
Dawn Rosinger (15:50):
Have fun, laugh.
Yeah, enjoy life together.
Travis Rosinger (15:53):
Yeah, make memories and spend time and get
to know other things about eachother that maybe you never even
knew.
Do crazy things together, funthings, yeah, absolutely.
Another thing is focus on you,not your spouse, becoming more
Christ-like, and so instead ofalways going, okay, don you need
(16:13):
to become more Christ-like,you're the problem in our
marriage?
No, instead, one way that I canprepare so that we're not
repairing later on is to say,okay, how can Travis become more
Christ-like?
What can I do?
What needs to change in me?
Oh God, and praying that prayer.
Dawn Rosinger (16:29):
As much as we want our spouses to change, we
can't change them.
But we can change ourselves andwe can allow God to change our
spouses.
But focus on your own growthand changing yourself.
Travis Rosinger (16:39):
We also want to recommend to adopt a positive
view of marriage and especiallyyour relationship.
In other words, imagine andassume that your marriage is
going to be 10 times better in ayear than it is right now.
Just assume the best for thefuture.
I was talking to a woman theother day about her spouse and
(17:00):
her marriage and she hadmentioned how long they had been
married and she told me shesaid she used to pray that God
would restore her marriagebecause it had gone through some
issues and she said but finallyshe woke up one day and she
said, no, I don't want God torestore my marriage.
Forget that.
I want God to give me a 10times better marriage.
(17:20):
I want a way better.
Dawn Rosinger (17:22):
I don't want the old marriage that I used to have
.
I want a brand new one A betterone.
That's an incredible outlook.
That's what I want for ourmarriage, man.
Continue to make it better, god.
Another way to prepare in yourmarriage is to decide what about
your relationship pulls eachother further apart, and swap or
(17:42):
get rid of those activities orhabits for things that pull you
together as a couple.
So what's pulling you apart?
Get rid of those things andonly go after those things that
are pulling you together,bringing you together as a
couple.
Travis Rosinger (17:53):
They're distractions and they are worth
having in your life.
And why not add the things thatreally bond you together, right
you?
Dawn Rosinger (17:59):
know honestly, guys, this can be so many
different things.
It can be sports, it can behobbies, it can be substances.
There's so many things thatcould pull you further apart.
But man, swap it and say, no,I'm done with those things.
And what about this?
What about?
If something needs to change,change it now.
Don't wait, don't ignore it.
Maybe, if you need to forget,forgive now.
(18:21):
Break a habit.
If you have a bad habit, I getrid of it.
Change your negative attitudeAgain.
If something needs to change,don't wait to do it later.
Change it right now.
Travis Rosinger (18:31):
Yeah, and that's the preparing, so you
don't have to repair later onwhere the negative attitude
destroys the marriage, or thehabit or addiction destroys the
marriage, or that unforgivenessthat you just keep.
It keeps building up and prettysoon it's like a truckload, a
dumb truckload, full ofunforgiveness, and the marriage
is squashed.
Dawn Rosinger (18:51):
It's dead.
Yeah, absolutely, you know.
We just want to leave you withthis again what Benjamin
Franklin said by failing toprepare, you're preparing to
fail.
So look at your marriage.
Are you failing to prepare orare you preparing to fail?
Travis Rosinger (19:06):
Man, powerful words.
Well, hey guys, we want tothank you for listening to this
episode of the loving the fightmarriage podcast.
Dawn Rosinger (19:14):
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight.
We'll see you next time.
Man, you could be doing anything else right now
, but you have tuned in and weare so glad.
Well, with that, welcome to theloving the fight marriage
podcast.
My name is Travis and I'mhanging out chilling in our
basement studio with my wifeDawn.
Dawn Rosinger (00:27):
Hey everyone.
So, travis, let me ask if youweren't doing this right now,
what would you be doing rightnow?
Travis Rosinger (00:31):
What would I be doing?
I'd be studying Swedish,probably sipping something like
hot tea and just having my feetup, relaxing yeah.
Dawn Rosinger (00:41):
Oh, no, makes it.
I would do something veryactive.
I love to be active, so I wouldeither be playing pickleball or
I'd be, you know, working out,running something active.
But honestly, I must admit, welove being able to be do this
podcast.
It's one of our highlights ofour week, so I don't know if
much can get better than this.
Travis Rosinger (00:58):
I know it's literally.
It's funny you mentioned thatbecause I got super excited when
we headed down here and gotready to record.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this isso much fun.
Well, we're glad that you guysagain are listening and we've
had a great week and a not sogreat week.
There are some things that kindof made our week really really
(01:20):
good or are about to make ourweek extra good.
I should say your week donebecause you ordered something in
the mail a bit of a splurge,but I think it's something that
you're super amped on.
Dawn Rosinger (01:33):
I am super excited.
I ordered a new pair of shoesand I keep looking at the
tracking and it says they'resupposed to come today and,
honestly, it is almost eighto'clock at night and they
haven't come yet.
So I'm wondering if they'regoing to come.
But I am pumped.
They are just a really coolNike tennis shoe that I've been
just looking at and I'm like youknow what?
(01:53):
I'm just going to order them.
I want these.
I had some bonus money you did.
You know, and people are likewhat's bonus money?
Kind of like little refundsthat you get here and there, a
little bonus money that youweren't counting, that wasn't a
part of your budget.
It's bonus money.
So I took it and I bought thesereally cool Nikes.
Travis Rosinger (02:09):
And you know what I think you should do.
I think you should send up thebat signal you know that goes up
into the sky to let them knowthat we need their help.
We need them to drop off thesenew shoes, that you are so
excited to be able to have theirAir Force ones.
Dawn Rosinger (02:25):
They're just a kind of a double swish.
I love the color.
Yeah, I'm looking forward towearing them.
Travis Rosinger (02:32):
So a great week , as long as they come tonight
at eight o'clock.
You got to order them onlinelast week so I know that, you
know, really put some wind inyour sales.
But it was a not so great week,just to be honest, guys.
I had surgery in my mouth, kindof like dental surgery, and
this is like part two.
I had it like five months ago,six months ago, and it worked.
(02:52):
But it didn't work, and so thenthey had to do it again, and so
that was last Monday and theywere in my mouth for what felt
like an hour and a half, twohours like drilling and scraping
and moving things aroundliterally moving things around,
because part of it is like agrafting kind of surgery, and so
, man, I feel great andtypically you love going to the
(03:14):
dentist.
Dawn Rosinger (03:14):
It wasn't necessarily a dentist, but
because genetically some of yourgums had recessed a little bit
and we have a great periodontistwho said that they could graft
some gums in there, just in thatone little area.
Travis Rosinger (03:25):
Neured, so then your teeth would be healthy in
that area Protected Great smile.
Dawn Rosinger (03:29):
It's crazy that they can do it, but something
that they did, and so we'rehoping that this one is
successful.
But it's crazy, because youwere told that you couldn't do
what for three weeks.
Travis Rosinger (03:38):
I could not smile, and that's part of why
it's not been a great week.
Certainly, the surgery feltlike it got punched in the mouth
, but I'm a smiler.
You are, you're constantlysmiling.
Dawn Rosinger (03:50):
Now I know like you have to put your hand over
your lip over that one Over mycheek, my lip yeah to make sure
that you're not smiling.
So it's been an odd week.
I feel bad.
I know you're over, themajority of the pain I think is
gone, but you keep putting yourhand on your cheek.
Travis Rosinger (04:04):
Still can't smile.
So then you can't smile.
But yeah, I'm like I don'tthink this word works, but I'm a
prolific smiler.
You are Obsessive smile, I'mjust happy.
Dawn Rosinger (04:13):
You are a very happy person.
Travis Rosinger (04:14):
I love to smile and life is very, very good.
Dawn Rosinger (04:17):
Right, and so why you were recovering on the
couch from this surgery.
I ordered shoes.
I didn't say that's not a veryfair trade, right?
I had bonus money and orderedshoes and you got surgery and
you can't smile.
Travis Rosinger (04:29):
I got punched in the mouth.
Dawn Rosinger (04:30):
I kinda got the better end of the deal this week
.
Travis Rosinger (04:32):
What the heck just happened.
That is so not fair.
Dawn Rosinger (04:36):
Well, you guys, I know we talk about a lot
different books that we read.
We wanna make sure that we'rereading God's word every day,
but then just growing as aleader and growing ourselves,
and so we read books or we haveAudible, so we listen to books.
Travis Rosinger (04:50):
Yeah, both.
Dawn Rosinger (04:51):
Right now.
I just finished a book.
A few weeks ago we both didHidden Potential, which we
highly recommend.
Oh my gosh so good.
But then I'm just in the middleof the book called Be the
Unicorn by William VanderBloomand honestly, it's just 12
data-driven habits that separatethe best leaders from the rest.
So basically it talks about howto stand out in a crowd.
Be the unicorn.
(05:11):
Unicorns definitely stand outin the crowd right?
Travis Rosinger (05:13):
Yeah, you know, I think of being a unicorn.
It's like I wanna be a unicorn,but I wanna also not stab
people.
Dawn Rosinger (05:20):
You know, with the big horn and sticks out of
my head.
Travis Rosinger (05:23):
And so when I move quickly I just have lots of
energy and kind of a hypedperson.
And man, if I just whipped myhead around and I truly had a
unicorn sticking out of my head,like I would impale somebody on
my forehead you would, it wouldbe dangerous.
Dawn Rosinger (05:35):
You shouldn't be the unicorn in that sense.
You could be a unicorn of aleader, but not an actual
unicorn, but again, the book'scalled Be the Unicorn by William
VanderBloom.
It's a very good book.
I'm almost finished with it now, but I started it last week and
I began the book in thebeginning, which is always a
forward.
Someone typically writessomething about the book, and
(05:57):
the forward in this book waswritten by John Maxwell and he
said this quote and it just gotme thinking.
You know one of those quotesthat you're hearing.
You're like man, like what doesthis look like?
So I kind of dug into a littlebit more.
But the quote is this every daywe are either preparing or
repairing.
He then said it is better toprepare than repair.
(06:19):
And so I was thinking aboutthis.
It just really got my mindgoing.
I'm like, okay, prepare versusrepair, like what's better.
You know what is he trying tosay.
Travis Rosinger (06:29):
Yeah, kind of like a mental bomb.
It just blows up.
You're like, okay, I got tohang out.
There's fallout from thismental bomb.
I just got to think thisthrough and get a feel like what
should this look like?
What could it look like?
Dawn Rosinger (06:42):
And it's so cool because it actually rhymes too.
So you're like you're reallymaking it.
It kind of makes it stick.
You know, better to preparethan repair.
So what does that mean?
What are some examples?
What does it look like toprepare rather than to repair?
So I was able to find some ofthem.
We just we talked about it alittle bit more.
I'm like what are some examples?
So how about this?
(07:02):
It's better to take an umbrellathan to get caught in the rain,
right?
Travis Rosinger (07:05):
I mean honestly , look at how long it takes me
to do my hair.
I hate getting rained on too,I'd rather just take the
umbrella.
Dawn Rosinger (07:10):
Or it's better to follow a budget than to run out
of money.
Oh my Like, follow the budget,then you won't run out of money.
Travis Rosinger (07:17):
Who wants to run out of money?
Dawn Rosinger (07:18):
It's better to tighten a loose screw than to
damage a chair or a machine.
I know that happens upstairs inour chairs.
Sometimes the screw is looseand you have to tighten it,
otherwise your chair willdestroy.
It's better to invest whileyounger than play catch up when
older.
A couple other examples of thisis it's better to change your
oil than to replace your engine,and I think anyone that's
(07:41):
younger needs to know that.
Travis Rosinger (07:42):
That's funny.
I think a Bob Goff who said hisdad gave him a truck and said
you got to keep changing the oiland he said he drove it over
100,000 miles and never oncechanged the oil and then of
course it blew up when I had myfirst car.
Dawn Rosinger (07:53):
I never changed the oil, but I just kept adding
oil to it.
Because, no one ever told methat should change it.
They just said don't ever letit get lower than a certain
point.
So I just kept adding oil.
Well, I guess I didn't havethat car very long.
Maybe that's why.
Another example of this is it'sbetter to see a dentist when
your tooth hurts than when itneeds replacing Right Like we,
(08:14):
you just want to the dentist,but yeah, you don't want to have
to replace a tooth, I want totake care of what I have.
It's better to go to a grocerystore and take a list with you
than to have to go back to thatstore later Like that's a bummer
and maybe for you it's betterfor me to text you that list
than to tag you with that one.
Or, lastly, it's better todrink water than become
(08:35):
dehydrated.
So you can see that those arejust examples of preparing
rather than having to repair.
Travis Rosinger (08:42):
Yeah, and you know, I just think it makes life
more efficient.
Everything goes more smoothly,you enjoy life better, and you
know it's interesting becausethere are some real spiritual
ties there as well, when wethink of that in terms of
spirituality.
The Bible talks about us beingready, being prepared
spiritually, and so it's notjust with the things that the
(09:03):
examples that you gave Don, butalso in other ways.
I mean, jesus said in Matthew24, 42, he says so always be
ready, in other words, beprepared, because you don't know
the day your Lord will come.
Dawn Rosinger (09:17):
Wow, that's important Be ready.
It makes you stop and thinkokay, what do I have to be ready
for?
Travis Rosinger (09:22):
I know, and there ain't no repair, and when
the Lord comes you might justmiss him.
Dawn Rosinger (09:26):
Yeah, you don't want to be left behind.
Travis Rosinger (09:28):
You don't, and you know Paul the apostle.
He writes in 2 Timothy aboutbeing prepared.
He says preach the word andthen he says be ready to do it.
Whether it's convenient orinconvenient, be ready.
Dawn Rosinger (09:41):
How can you preach the word if you're not
ready?
You?
Have to know the word, topreach the word.
Travis Rosinger (09:45):
You got to study it, you got to listen to
it, you got to submerge yourmind and your soul and your
spirit in it.
And first Peter 315, it saysbut in your hearts, honor Christ
the Lord as holy, always beingprepared to make a defense to
anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you.
Wow, man, be prepared.
(10:06):
That's a constant theme in theBible, but especially in the New
Testament, and so it just makessense.
It makes sense to preparerather than have to repair, and
I'm so glad that John Maxwellmade that statement, because you
know it really is a huge chunkgolden nugget, chunk of wisdom.
Dawn Rosinger (10:28):
For some reason, this makes me think of when
you're about to start a race andit's like ready, set, go.
You have to get in thatposition, that ready position,
set and go.
And I don't think you can justgo without getting ready.
You have to be ready.
Travis Rosinger (10:42):
Yeah, and think of everything that a runner has
to do prior to that.
Certainly they got to be readyto just you know vault out of
that, you know that place forthe you know kickoff of the race
.
But then there was probably ayear or two is worth of
preparation.
Dawn Rosinger (10:55):
Oh, tons of preparation, otherwise you get
left in the dust.
Travis Rosinger (10:58):
So here it is.
The fact is that it's wise toprepare.
When we prepare here's whathappens we greatly reduce the
likelihood of the need to repair.
It's so important to prepare.
Dawn Rosinger (11:11):
You know, as I was reading this book, it kind
of T-boned me, because readingthis made me think about
marriage and, in the same way,how are you preparing now in
your marriage so you don't haveto repair?
So we stopped Travis this a few, you know, minutes ago and like
what are some different waysthat we have to prepare so we
don't have to repair in ourmarriage?
Instantly the first thing thatcame to my mind is are you
(11:32):
spending time with God inbuilding that relationship with
him, or will you run dry andbecome spiritually bankrupt and
not walk in the fruits of thespirit, causing a lot of
conflict?
Like don't you think that'shuge in marriage?
Or how about this?
Are you going out on dates andgrowing your relationship so
that when you empty nest youhaven't grown apart?
(11:52):
Take the time to get to knoweach other so you're not growing
apart?
Travis Rosinger (11:56):
Yeah, and empty nesting for those of you that
don't know is when you kick thelittle people that have actually
become big people their adultsout of your basement, your house
, and they spread their wingsand fly and it's like, hey, we
wanna know each other, we wannahave a relationship with each
other, so what?
Dawn Rosinger (12:11):
are we doing?
Travis Rosinger (12:12):
right now with our little, and there's so many
of you that have little onesright now that are listening,
and so go on those dates.
Dawn Rosinger (12:18):
Make sure you're preparing now so you don't have
to repair later.
How about this?
Communication is such animportant thing when it comes to
marriage?
Are you communicating daily toavoid simple conflicts that have
to do with just your time oryour schedule?
Just letting your spouse know,hey, I'm gonna be doing this
today.
I'm not gonna be here to avoidthat conflict?
Travis Rosinger (12:37):
Yeah, and it helps so much to just keep those
channels flowing and stay onthe same page.
Dawn Rosinger (12:41):
Honestly, what does this look like for your
marriage?
How are you preparing so youcan avoid repairing later on?
Is your marriage living in astate of preparing, or is it
living in a state of repairing?
Travis Rosinger (12:55):
Oh my, that's a great question.
Is your marriage living in astate of preparing or repairing?
And why am I repeating that?
Because, Don, you and I areliving that example right now,
not so much in our marriage, buthere's an example from
literally what feels like anhour ago.
We bought a brand new set oftires.
A year ago on our SUV.
Dawn Rosinger (13:16):
I don't think it was a whole year yet.
Travis Rosinger (13:18):
Nine months ago and from the moment we got them
it's like okay, they would losesome air and we'd fill them up.
And it would be like everymonth we'd have to fill them up.
And now it's gotten to thepoint where it's almost like
every week and a half, two weekswe've got to fill them up.
Dawn Rosinger (13:34):
they're losing air.
We've brought these tires backthree times, like our car in
we're like and said, hey, tiresare not keeping air.
What's wrong?
Travis Rosinger (13:42):
This has never happened to us in our life.
Yeah, so the but the point isis, we can keep adding air to
our tires or we can just go backin one last time, a fourth time
and say okay, guys, put newtires on.
Dawn Rosinger (13:58):
Yes, we're done with these.
Something that happened withthese tires they're not working.
Travis Rosinger (14:02):
We'll take the warranty, throw the money on new
tires, we're done with them.
Why?
Because then we're preparing toget new tires by bringing it
back, and then we won't have tofill up the air anymore.
We don't have to fix it, andthat's fixing.
It is like a bandage, justputting more air in the tires.
And so what does that look likein your marriage?
What does that look like inyour relationship?
Dawn Rosinger (14:22):
There's an incredible quote by Benjamin
Franklin.
He said this by failing toprepare, you are preparing to
fail.
It's like you're almost youknow planning to fail.
If you're not preparing, thenyou're planning on failing.
We have to prepare.
Travis Rosinger (14:36):
Yeah, you are preparing to fail because you're
not being intentional.
And being intentional isabsolutely what we need If
you're going to fight for yourmarriage.
That's why we're loving thefight, that's why we're doing
this podcast, that's why wefight for one another down and
you and I go on dates all thetime and try to really stay
connected.
And we're not perfect.
We have arguments and fighteach other sometimes.
Dawn Rosinger (14:57):
We know that we have to prepare in order so we
don't have to repair.
And sometimes we have to repair.
We're still human and wedefinitely make mistakes, but
let's live in that state ofpreparation.
Travis Rosinger (15:07):
Yeah, absolutely Well.
Hey guys, we wanted to, as weturn a corner and wind this
episode down, we wanted to giveyou five simple ways to prepare
in your marriage and honestly,there could be 20 or 30 other
ways.
This is not a comprehensivelist, but this is a great
mini-list, just kind of a shotin the arm for your marriage.
As you listen to this,individually or with your spouse
(15:29):
, here's some quick things youcan do to really prepare so that
you're not repairing later on.
First of all, just invest intime together.
We can't say this enough.
There's something powerfulabout time together where it has
nothing to do with kids, hasnothing to do with your jobs or
finances or arguing about life.
No, no, no.
(15:49):
Just have fun together.
Dawn Rosinger (15:50):
Have fun, laugh.
Yeah, enjoy life together.
Travis Rosinger (15:53):
Yeah, make memories and spend time and get
to know other things about eachother that maybe you never even
knew.
Do crazy things together, funthings, yeah, absolutely.
Another thing is focus on you,not your spouse, becoming more
Christ-like, and so instead ofalways going, okay, don you need
(16:13):
to become more Christ-like,you're the problem in our
marriage?
No, instead, one way that I canprepare so that we're not
repairing later on is to say,okay, how can Travis become more
Christ-like?
What can I do?
What needs to change in me?
Oh God, and praying that prayer.
Dawn Rosinger (16:29):
As much as we want our spouses to change, we
can't change them.
But we can change ourselves andwe can allow God to change our
spouses.
But focus on your own growthand changing yourself.
Travis Rosinger (16:39):
We also want to recommend to adopt a positive
view of marriage and especiallyyour relationship.
In other words, imagine andassume that your marriage is
going to be 10 times better in ayear than it is right now.
Just assume the best for thefuture.
I was talking to a woman theother day about her spouse and
(17:00):
her marriage and she hadmentioned how long they had been
married and she told me shesaid she used to pray that God
would restore her marriagebecause it had gone through some
issues and she said but finallyshe woke up one day and she
said, no, I don't want God torestore my marriage.
Forget that.
I want God to give me a 10times better marriage.
(17:20):
I want a way better.
Dawn Rosinger (17:22):
I don't want the old marriage that I used to have
.
I want a brand new one A betterone.
That's an incredible outlook.
That's what I want for ourmarriage, man.
Continue to make it better, god.
Another way to prepare in yourmarriage is to decide what about
your relationship pulls eachother further apart, and swap or
(17:42):
get rid of those activities orhabits for things that pull you
together as a couple.
So what's pulling you apart?
Get rid of those things andonly go after those things that
are pulling you together,bringing you together as a
couple.
Travis Rosinger (17:53):
They're distractions and they are worth
having in your life.
And why not add the things thatreally bond you together, right
you?
Dawn Rosinger (17:59):
know honestly, guys, this can be so many
different things.
It can be sports, it can behobbies, it can be substances.
There's so many things thatcould pull you further apart.
But man, swap it and say, no,I'm done with those things.
And what about this?
What about?
If something needs to change,change it now.
Don't wait, don't ignore it.
Maybe, if you need to forget,forgive now.
(18:21):
Break a habit.
If you have a bad habit, I getrid of it.
Change your negative attitudeAgain.
If something needs to change,don't wait to do it later.
Change it right now.
Travis Rosinger (18:31):
Yeah, and that's the preparing, so you
don't have to repair later onwhere the negative attitude
destroys the marriage, or thehabit or addiction destroys the
marriage, or that unforgivenessthat you just keep.
It keeps building up and prettysoon it's like a truckload, a
dumb truckload, full ofunforgiveness, and the marriage
is squashed.
Dawn Rosinger (18:51):
It's dead.
Yeah, absolutely, you know.
We just want to leave you withthis again what Benjamin
Franklin said by failing toprepare, you're preparing to
fail.
So look at your marriage.
Are you failing to prepare orare you preparing to fail?
Travis Rosinger (19:06):
Man, powerful words.
Well, hey guys, we want tothank you for listening to this
episode of the loving the fightmarriage podcast.
Dawn Rosinger (19:14):
Remember, you can do it.
You got this.
Keep loving the fight.
We'll see you next time.
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