Elden Ring

Alex and Luke Talk Elden Ring.

In this episode, Alex and Luke finally tackle Elden Ring, FromSoftware’s 2022 open-world epic that took the gaming world by storm. Directed by Hidetaka Miyazaki, with worldbuilding contributions from George R.R. Martin, Elden Ring expands the Soulsborne formula into a sprawling, unforgiving landscape—the Lands Between—where death is certain, but victory is oh so sweet. 

At the time of this recording, Elden Ring holds a Metacritic score of 96, solidifying its place as one of the highest-rated games of all time. According to HowLongToBeat, a standard playthrough takes around 60 hours (a complete and utter lie), while completionists can expect well over 134+ hours of brutal bosses, deep lore, and relentless challenge. 

Both Alex and Luke played on Xbox Series X, comparing notes on their builds, the moments that broke them, and the bosses that left them questioning their life choices. From first steps into Limgrave to taking down some of Elden Ring’s most infamous enemies, they share their highs, lows, and what makes this game such a landmark title. 

This episode is unofficially brought to you in part by Banging with the Bros. 

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Episode Transcript

Alex (00:21):
Yo, what up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode ofLow Five Gaming.
This is Alex, your host, and Iam joined by the one, the only
Lucas Dukith.

Luke (00:32):
Lucas Duthic.
Hello, foul maiden listtarnished.
How are how are all of youafter our much anticipated
controversial departure from thepodcasting space?
How are we doing?

Alex (00:43):
Oh my gosh, indeed.

Luke (00:45):
I'm doing pretty well.
We even had extra contentavailable and then we destroyed
it just for scarcity's sake,dude.
We just wanted to be edgy.
We like made that one Wu-Tangalbum that they made and sold to
the one guy.
Do you remember that?
I do remember that.

Alex (01:01):
We basically got leaked, dude.
Did you know that?

Luke (01:03):
Uh I think I heard, but I haven't heard the music.
But I I mean it makes sense.
You give somebody the thingthat only they can listen to,
they're probably gonna leak iteventually.
But regardless, no one willleak our secret super awesome
episode because we destroyed it.
I know.
It was too good, dude.
It was too juicy.

Alex (01:20):
A couple years deep into the uh podcasting sphere, you'd
think we'd have these thingsfigured out, but no, we recorded
the dead air, we got sick.
Things happen in life.

Luke (01:29):
Alex got vicious diarrhea, like motive times.

Alex (01:33):
Well, for real though, I I mean, I don't know if that was
involved with our recording,like, but I did have the Noro.
Might have to cut a little bitof this off the intro.

Luke (01:43):
Nope.
Because it's the truest EldenRing experience, dude, because
no matter if you have norovirus,you cannot pause.
You must continue.
Load.
Load.
So we made it one minute intothis pod before I bitched about
being unable to pause.
You're welcome.

Alex (02:28):
Indeed.
So if you haven't picked it upby now, we are we're talking
Elden Ring.
Yes.
In the year of our Lord, 2025.

Luke (02:37):
Because we're edgy.

Alex (02:38):
Three three years late to the party?
Roughly.

Luke (02:40):
Yeah, three years and not even talking about the DLC,
which would be most people'sexpectations.

Alex (02:45):
I think this dropped in February.

Luke (02:46):
Like almost to the date, three years.
That's hilarious.
And we just get into it.

Alex (02:52):
Get into it.
I'm still fighting through it,man, to be honest.
Yeah.
But no, it's dope.
Uh Elden Ring.
Is it dope?
I don't know.
We'll we'll get there.
Elden Ring, developed by FromSoftware.
This is my first From Softexperience.

Luke (03:10):
Same.
We usually reference it a lotin pods because it's definitely
part of the Zame, but we mostlymock and make fun of it.
So this is us truly getting ourCapital G gamer creds with
perhaps the most accessible gamein the series, but right.
That's what I'm gonna say.

Alex (03:25):
I'm tuned in enough to know that this is although this
is a From Software game, it isthe most approachable, is what
folks will say.
Even though I thought this wasuh the pretty difficult, dude.
Apparently the other ones areum are worse.
Yeah.

Luke (03:42):
I mean, I haven't gotten to like the deepest depths of
the late game stuff or the DLC,which I heard is bonkers, but um
I always remember this gamebeing compared to Breath of the
Wild, and I just thought thatwas the most bonkers thing in
the world because I hadn'tplayed it.
And uh mild spoiler, I get itnow.
We'll get into that later.
Certainly not as friendly ofthat game, but you get the hang

(04:04):
of it, and it is pick-upable.
It is it is approachable.
Uh and as much as there's alearning curve, it is it is
cool.
I liked it a lot.
Elden Ring?

Alex (04:15):
Mm-hmm.

Luke (04:16):
Pick-upable, approachable.
Once you're 20 hours deep,maybe.
I'd say like I have very fondmemories of the opening like
struggle where there's thatfirst encampment and running up
to that encampment and trying tofigure it out.
Like I I remember thatstuttering phase very fondly.
Uh, and then from around thatarea, once I cleared the camp, I

(04:38):
was pretty much up and running.
Now, early shouts out.
I've had some uh some wiseguides, some sage experiences
from some pretty funny sources.
Do you want me to get into thatnow or should we do that later?

Alex (04:51):
We can jump into it real shortly, just to get the house
housekeeping out of the way.
This did drop on PlayStation 4,5, Xbox One, Series X and S and
Windows.
Tight.
Mm-hmm.
So that if you if you don't gotone of those, you're not
playing.

Luke (05:06):
Right.
Um Buddy of mine, Aaron, heshared with me a sweet map and
also was just kind of likehelping me out with like some
initial early game stuff becausehe was a good good chunk ahead
of me.
Shouts out him, it was reallydope to have him help me out.
So that kind of helped me witha lot of like the early early
game like stuttering, like, hey,should I be sucking this bad

(05:27):
answer?
Yes, try this, me being likeactually super dope helpful.
Uh Ace, early reference.
Boing.
He got it as a gift, so hepicked it up around the same
time.
So it was actually really coolto talk through some of the
stuff as we were parallel goingthrough a lot of the same
challenges.
And then most hilarious, I gota little homie, one of my

(05:47):
students, who today actuallytold me that he's like put 500
hours total into this game.
Get out.
It's Buck Wild, but if youthink about it, you know, we
always talk about like how muchmore we would have played of a
game if that's the only game wehad and we were kids, and that's
so that's him, right?
And like it's like talking to awiki page.
I'll be like, Yeah, I'm in thisarea, and he'll like say the

(06:08):
name of like the bosses, and heunderstands the dialogue going
on, which rant incoming laterthere.
So I've basically had like aceparallel playing, I've had Aaron
as a bit of a guide, and thenI've had my little nerdy homie
as another sage-like littleguide for me, and he's done it
all.
I actually have found thecommunity of it really cool, and

(06:28):
then like my initial stumbleswere eventually rewarded, and I
got super duper into it.

Alex (06:33):
Nice.
Yeah, I don't really have anElden Ring Sherpa.
You are a little bit.
Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
Uh I helped you, I helped you.

Luke (06:40):
We did some as a whole recent.
We did some coop.
We did some coop a little bit.
It's been a long time sincewe've coped.

Alex (06:45):
That was actually honestly, that was probably the
turning point for me.
Um, having you come in and helpme through with a couple a
couple of little little badlittle baddie bosses, and uh
that like that sparked thatsession.
Our first like co-op sessionfirst and last, maybe correct.

Luke (07:00):
Um, but that's as you can tell from this extremely late
pod, our coordination skills arefantastic these days.

Alex (07:06):
Yeah, 2025.
Yeah, baby.
Uh but no, man, that like thatactually that did spark like
that.
That's what churned.
I just wasn't sold on thisgame, dude.
And then like when we connectedand did that session, like
that's kind of what that's whatmade it click for me.
I was like, all right, cool,like this is cool.
You know, you helped me getpast a couple like pain point

(07:27):
bosses that I was dealing with.

Luke (07:29):
And yeah, it just like turned on the it just it flipped
the switch where it's likeokay, where I was kind of like
by some douche who wants towreck noobs who were just trying
to figure out a stupid fuckingconvoluted system.
That was so wild.
That was so wild.
I couldn't believe it.
We thought it was a computertoo.
We were like, wait, what?
No, or like are you punishedfor sticking in here too long?
And I believe only in bossescan you not be invaded.

Alex (07:52):
Otherwise, if you're doing that co-op shit, you're
vulnerable to invasions, whichis it's yeah, we were trying to
like find our find ourgrounding, like just like before
we went into the to take onthat boss, and also some dude
just pops out of nowhere, likejust way open throwing bombs and
shit.
I don't remember who diedfirst, me or you, but like you
definitely just like mopped thefloor with us.
And I was like, what the fuckwas that?

(08:12):
Is it because we were sittingthere for too long?

Luke (08:14):
The game just booed us, that's how it does it, or it
wasn't even like a thing thatwarned us it was coming.
And like classic this game,dude.
Uh, I really admire that theyjust throw you into things and
you figure things out, but it'salso the stupidest shit in the
world.
Cause I'm like, you're like,was that supposed to happen?
What's going on?
Yeah, what?
Why?

Alex (08:31):
But yeah, quite a little rant there, but I think a lot of
folks listening are probablythey've either dabbled in this,
they probably know I mean itwon't a bunch of game of the
years.
This this game has been makingits rounds, like it's got a
little bit of new life becausethey just dropped like a it's
not even DLC, it's like a brandnew game, Night Rain.
It's like uh it's like an EldenRing takes place in the Elden
Ring like realm, but it's like aroguelike multiplayer or some

(08:53):
shit.

Luke (08:54):
I recently heard it compared to Hades, like a
roguelike, like 3D Hades, and Iwas like, oh, that I wasn't
interested, but now I kinda am.

Alex (09:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh so that's there.
I mean, they I think earlierthis year, maybe no, not this
year, so like late last year, Ithink they they dropped, or who
knows, time, but they droppedDLC that people love for it.
Correct.

Luke (09:12):
Yeah.

Alex (09:13):
So yeah, man, the bird tree.
Yeah, exactly.
And that that was like highlylauded as well.
Like people are stoked on thatshit.

Luke (09:20):
Well, it was so big awards.
It's like too big to be its ownnew game, but it's or it's too
small to be its whole brand newgame.
Right.
But it's also, you know, it'sDLC, but it's the chonkiest of
DLC.
It's like in this weird middleground.

Alex (09:36):
And I asked for forgiv forgiveness in advance, but
Hideyteka Miyazaki is thedirector of this game.
My Japanese not great, bro.
You know what?
They'll know who you're talkingabout.
Indeed.
But and then uh what's kind ofcool though is the the world
buildings.
They they reached out to GeorgeR.R.
Martin to work on the worldbuilding of this game, which I

(09:58):
think is like a fun collab.

Luke (09:59):
I feel like they just got him to make silly names that
start with G, but I could bewrong.
Like that dude needed to bepulled away from all of his
projects.
He was so happy for adistraction.
He's never finishing thembooks.
Uh, it is a cool name to puton, and it is like a good I
don't know at all what's goingon.
I swear to god, if I ever beatthis game, I'll spend some hours

(10:23):
on YouTube learning all of itto appreciate it.
Uh-cause I guess the people whoare into it are so into it.
Little homie, you're justtalking about 500 hours, bro.
Mm-hmm.
And I asked him, like, like, howmuch time have you spent on
YouTube?
And he said, like, not a bunch,but I don't believe him.
I swear he's been reading aboutit.
It's dense digging through thewikis or something.

(10:44):
He's gotta be because I have noidea what the fuck is going on.
They don't really I actuallyfind it.

Alex (10:50):
I mean, yes and no.
Yes and no.
Like, there's things that Ilike about it, things that I
don't.
I think that was one thing thatit took me longer to kind of
latch on to it because I'm justgonna juxtapose it to the
Witcher 3.
Very like I love the Witcher 3,and I think the story in that
game is fucking dope.
I love, you know, GeraltAribia.
Uh, this is like very you youget to create your character.

(11:13):
I think that is fun.
You get to choose from a bunchof classes, a whole like a whole
bunch of classes.
Curious, who you went to withwhat the I'm a samurai, right?

Luke (11:21):
And I went with the warrior.
How do you not?
How do you not, samurai?
I'm shocked you walked past asamurai and you're like, near
well, the warrior's pretty dope.

Alex (11:29):
Like, I often will end up being like in a in a game like
this.
I'll choose like you know, Idefault to to the you know, what
do you what do you call it?
The well the warrior, but I'm Iwant to say beast.
Yeah, exactly.
So it made sense to me.
I think if I had to do itagain, I would either do the
samurai, maybe the vagabond.

(11:51):
Um, I don't know if I wouldstart with warrior, like it just
didn't it didn't quite do itfor me.
Like even now, I'm like, kindof wish that my dude looked
different.

Luke (11:59):
Yeah, yeah.
I'm I mean the samurai startingarmor is cool.
I haven't run into anything toreplace the armor yet.
Okay, yeah.
I know there's some stuffpeople suggest to do, so I kind
of you have a little bit moreflexibility where you're
probably running into some ofthe are you still with the same
armor you started with?

Alex (12:17):
No, I switched it up pretty early on.
I've run into a couple of setsthat are are nice.

Luke (12:20):
This game's interesting, there's a it's dense, so like
there is two different yeah, solike so many systems I still
have zero percent grasp over,and I'm like 60 to 70 hours
deep.
Exactly.

Alex (12:31):
So, like, I mean, I have picked up armor that is like
good, uh, and it is likeelevated my character, but it's
not good, like you know, I can'tremember what it's called right
now, but there's like two setsof like there's like two sat
sets that every piece of likearmor has.
It's uh has to do with like itsdurability, not its durability,
but like I don't know, like ithas like basically uh base stats

(12:53):
and then scaling.

Luke (12:55):
Exactly, or something.

Alex (12:56):
I don't know.
See that there's like levelsabout levels that I'm just like
I don't know, man.
Like which which so I haven'tput it this way, I have not sold
my original armor set becausethere's certain pieces of it
that like are actually better.
I don't I don't know.

Luke (13:09):
Yeah, we're in the weeds on that one.
Uh, which speaks to the game,which is like at one hand, it's
unlike The Witcher, where youfeel like it's weird that you're
in this cataclysmic, likeapocalypse, like this crazy
apocalyptic event, and yetyou're just like fucking around
playing Gwent.
There's always that weirdjuxtaposition of that.
What I love in this game islike there's no text anywhere,

(13:30):
there's no like missions.
Uh, we'll get to that later,but like you're just kind of
there.
You're fucking around, pokingaround, feels like pretty
natural, and it is supercomparable.
That sensation of just likelooking over on a map and you're
like, I bet you there's somecool shit over there.
It feels the only game thatcomes close to touching that and
being better than that isBreath of the Wild, the original
one.

(13:51):
Yeah, I was gonna say Scrim,dude, Skyrim.
Like, yeah, that's that's how Iget loaded down with loot, and
I'm like digging through barrelsand dumb shit like that.
So I would say that like youknow what the fuck I mean,
though.
You know what the fuck is that?
Oh, for sure, dude.

Alex (14:05):
I was playing Starfield last night, and I was like,
you're wearing down of cheese,and you're like, well, I can't
get rid of my block of cheese.

Luke (14:12):
Like, so I'd say this game like streamlines some of that
adventure better.
Uh but yeah, I did feel like Ifelt the joy of like when I
first played some scrimming andI was like digging through a
cave and like getting intoshenanigans.
It's a hundred percent likethat.
It's a hundred percent likeBreath of the Wild.
You're not as fluid in gettingaround like you are in Breath of
the Wild, but the environmentsare just straight up gorgeous,

(14:33):
dude.
The art is so fucking cool, andlike it's got a really good
video game map.
It's like, oh, if you want meto nerd on on some good video
game map, like it's not tooinformative, but you can
definitely study it and be like,there's some cool shit over
there.
And then you go over there andlike oh I'm so spoiled.

Alex (14:49):
It's totally like I feel like modern day video game
graphics has spoiled me.
I know this game is beautiful,but I think like after playing
Red Dead Redemption 2, like Idon't know if there's a prettier
game.

Luke (15:58):
No, but like graphic fidelity is I mean, Red Dead 2
is just fucking bonkers, but Imean like the art direction is
fucking sick.
Okay, like to be fair.
The enemy designs, thecharacter designs, like your
environment that you'reliterally in is it's pretty
close to like perfect's thewrong thing because this is more
of a subjective deal.
Pretty master class for likehow the game vibes look and feel

(16:21):
and like the things you runinto, like the environments are
crazy cool.

Alex (16:25):
A little too dark for me.
Where's the rainbows?
Yeah, no, I mean, like, to befair, like you look off in the
distance and there's some coolshit going on, the err trees and
all that shit.
Like, yeah, I mean it's dope.
Like, I see what you're saying100%.
I and I agree with you.
Um, I just don't know if it'smy vibe.

Luke (16:41):
Dude, that's still a fucking castle you're in right
now, that first legacy dungeon,that thing's so sick.
Like, I oh, dude, I that'll bethat'll be a video game space
that I'll I'll take with me fora long time.
I think clearly I'm morepilled.
I'm more I'm like I'm fully in.
I there's some nitpicking thatI have with it, but like if

(17:01):
we're talking like things I likeabout it, I could go on and on.

Alex (17:04):
Yeah, it's funny though.
Before we jumped on the micslike earlier today, I was
thinking and I was like, becauseI have come, I have warmed up
to this game quite a bit.
Yeah, and I was like, I have toI have to channel some of my
fucking grumpy energy becauselike to the majority of my
playthrough, I was like notreally feeling it.
So I was like, I gotta bringthat back.
I can't just come in, I can'tjust be glowing for Elden Ring
because like this shit fuckingpissed me off for like a good

(17:26):
solid like 10-15 hours.
Damn.

Luke (17:30):
Maybe it's just because of my Sherpas, but uh now it does
that classic video game thingwhere like I remember the early
struggles, it's charming now.
I've also like, I mean, it's soit's such a big part of the
gaming zeitgeist.
People generally know about thegame and they've heard a lot of
tidbits and a lot of like, oh,this is how you should handle

(17:51):
it.
Like, you should just run away.
Like the tree sentinel.
I knew through various podcastsand media that he was there to
wreck me and teach me to runaway when I can't handle
something and go fuck off.
I still try to run softwaretrope, right?
Yeah, that's kind of like that.
I still did it.
I still try to like fuck himup, and he still just absolutely
murdered me.
I saw a meme today that waslike, hey, where should we put

(18:15):
this place?
We have our nice little starterarea of the map.
Which which like place shouldwe make that's like literally
hell?
Where should we locate it?
Oh, right next to the starterplace.
Like, so you did that.
Didn't you wander off headingeast and then you like ran into
like the place that's basicallyhell, and you're like you just
got destroyed and you were likedisheartened and confused?

Alex (18:34):
Yeah, that was what that was before that was like not too
far before we had our ourlittle collapse session the
session you had before it.

Luke (18:41):
And there's even a treasure chest that traps you,
sends you over there in a cave,so you can't even get out.
You have to run out of thecave, get to like a safe spot
for a second, and then fasttravel back.
So like the game's constantlytrying to piss you off.
Yeah, I think dragon borrow orsome shit like that, or Khalid.
It's Khalid, yeah.
Uh Khalid.

Alex (19:02):
I think I went up into I went into both DJ Khalid.
Uh I went I went into boththose there because basically I
did the at that point, I waslike, you know what?
I'm just not gonna try and beatany of these bosses, I'm just
gonna explore.
And like that was fun, likebecause you I figured it's kind
of similar to um to Breath ofthe Wild where you have your
towers.
So, like, same thing.
There's these uh there's these,I don't know what they are

(19:24):
pillars or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
So you go find a pillars, yeah.
Yeah, you can usually find itlike there is it is signaling to
you where those are, so you cango find them.
And then I was kind of justrevealing parts of the map.
And I found myself over in DJKhalid zone, dude.
And fucking, I was like, thisis not hype.
This is this is very not DJKhalid.
This is like this is like hell,and everybody's really scary,

(19:45):
and like I'm getting my asskicked.

Luke (19:47):
Well, it's like certain games you play, you just run
over and you hack and you rollaround.
And I definitely do that now,but like you have to learn the
patience and the cadence and howthe enemies come at you.
And I know that's like the dumbshit the fucking sweats will
yell at you on the internet, butit it's true.

Alex (20:02):
Uh also I did the classic, like I Googled when does Elden
Ring become fun?

Luke (20:10):
Why am I not having a good time?

Alex (20:12):
Of course, I of course, like there's a whole bunch of
hits.
Like, I am not the only personthat has Googled this before.
And I I ended up on some Redditthread and I was reading
through it.
It was it was kind of fun tosee because there's a couple
folks who are like, Look, I'msorry that I'm gonna say this,
but it's it's just the way it iswith this game.
Like, you gotta get good.
Well, dude, I was talking aboutit.
And then it's fun, and thenthat's what they say.
Then it's fun, and it's like Iget it.

Luke (20:34):
Um I was talking to my little homie today about the
last boss I faced.
Then I one-shot the boss, andhe goes, Oh, yeah, cool.
No, that's that's awesome.
It's awesome to hear.
And I was like, What's up?
He goes, That boss took methree hours.
Oh shit.
And I think he just got to thatboss way earlier than I did
because I like really I like theyou know, at I don't like the

(20:55):
storyline stuff of The Witcher,the side quests are sick, but I
didn't really care about likethe main mission.
The best part of Breath of theWild, people complain that it
wasn't linear and didn't have astrong enough story.
I just love to fuck off andexplore things in games.
So like in this game, I get notover-leveled, but I get pretty
high leveled.
So I'm usually not totallyoverwhelmed for a task, and that

(21:18):
helps me have a lot more funwhen I'm just wrecking enemies.
You can go back to an earlyarea and some the enemies will
still catch you off guard andfuck you up.
So you never feel like you'replaying unfair, you know, but
like when you feel reallypowerful, it it pays off and
feels really fucking cool.
Yeah, 100%.
I mean, reaching that point.

Alex (21:40):
Reaching that point is always great in these types of
games.
Um, I think what's interestingabout this game, and like I had
to assume that there are othergames that like this as well,
um, is you have to be in thatmindset.
Like they are punishing games,and it's it's just a type, it's
a type of gameplay that somepeople love.
I'm little lukewarm on it, butit's I respect it, I guess.

(22:00):
It's interesting because I amhere for like a grueling
platformer, like I will do that.

Luke (22:05):
But but like, but for whatever reason is way less, way
less frustrating for me thanCeleste was.
And Celeste is a good ass game,yeah.

Alex (22:13):
So like for I'm Celeste is like my or like um another good
example around that would belike Prince of Persia or like uh
Metroid or something, you know,like some of those bosses were
really tough, like and I'm herefor for running through the
paces on one of those games andtrying to to learn how to beat
those bosses, and for whateverreason, in the 3D action um

(22:34):
realm that that Elden Ring livesin, it's I don't know.
I'm just not sold.
But at the same time, likeSkyrim, like see this game, I
see so many parallels to Skyrim,and I was uh so much easier for
me to like roleplay Skyrim, youknow?

Luke (22:48):
Yeah, because there's things to roleplay in this game,
you're just this fucking thingrunning around fucking shit up,
and like we don't know yetwhat's going on.
I haven't uh read the PhD text400 level class to understand
what the fuck George R.
Martin and crew were gettingat.
But like you're just fuckingaround and finding out

(23:09):
constantly.
And one thing into the the mapare you, like the whole world
map?
Like, are you like I'm not I'mvery because I'm pretty careful
about like not a hundredpercenting things because I'm
not into that, but like I thegame is dense, the map is dense,
so I probably have a third ofit unlocked, including the
underground stuff, so like whichis crazy because I'm like 60,

(23:33):
70 hours in, but like there's somuch to go.
I don't think there's a biggerlie on how long to beat than
this game.
What is how long to be say?
Oh, I haven't seen it.
Probably like 40 to 60 hours.
Let's get uh let's get IT onthat.
Yeah, sixty hours is whatthey're saying.
Yeah, that's out of control,dude.

(23:53):
I've beat two legacy dungeons.
Two legacy dungeons.
And for those of youuninitiated, legacy dungeons are
like those old school lineardungeons within uh the kind of
the more modern uh 3D, likeZelda-like games, I guess.
You know what I mean?
So like this is honestly moreof a Zelda game than Breath of
the Wild, because those stupidfucking divine beasts that were

(24:17):
like an okay uh temple, right?
Like the castle that you're onright now, that first one, I
just think it's sick, dude.
You have to be like you justkind of keep exploring and
picking away and doing all thesedifferent things, and there's
so many different types ofenemies and different challenges
and moments and weirdplatforming and like sections
that you gotta get to andcheckpoints, and I just fucking

(24:37):
love that.
But then when that'soverwhelming, I just go fuck off
back.
I'm saying fuck a lot on thisbot.
I guess I'm just so riled upabout it.
Uh but then I just like I godick around.
I got to a choke point in thatcastle, and I could not get any
further.
I saw this big enemy and I waslike, nope, can't do this
anymore.
So then I didn't even noticethat island to the south where I

(24:58):
helped you with that boss, andI cleared that whole island and
castle and stuff, like a littlemini deal, and then I went back
and like that was so gratifying.
Sorry, what was that rant evenabout?
Uh just how much I love thelegacy dungeons.
Yeah, I suppose.
Yeah, so I don't know.
Uh no, you bring up metals arefucking epic, they're way too
hard sometimes, but you havethose assists, like I felt dirty

(25:21):
the first time I used the thesummoning.

Alex (25:24):
I've never been able to use a summoning for like
computer summoning.
There's been a couple spotswhere it's been obvious to me
how it works, but I I was underthe impression you could do that
like easier.
I think you can, yeah.

Luke (25:36):
I I don't know, because once again, I'd have to spend 20
minutes on the internetfiguring out how the fuck to
operate anything.

Alex (25:43):
So here's the deal like uh like it sounds like I'm fucking
like complaining about this,and it I am.

Luke (25:48):
This is Luke explains Elden Ring to a boomer.
Continue, dude.

Alex (25:52):
I I'm ex I like I am complaining to an extent, but
you brought up like so the wholelike summoning thing that we
went through to figure out howto make summoning work.
Like I had the instructions onthe start menu or whatever, I
had a YouTube thing playing,like I also had like a uh like a
wiki page open trying to figureout how to make it all work.
It still wasn't super clear,and like that it's just

(26:13):
frustrating.
Like, and that's like that'sjust this game to a T.
It is unclear and frustrating,but then when you get it to
work, it's fucking dope.

Luke (26:22):
Yeah, it I've brought it up on this pod, but it's like my
favorite meme of like somenerdy sweat just being like
Elder Ring are so good, like youneed a notebook to play, like
it doesn't hold your hand.
Like you have to decipher theinformation yourself, and then
they're playing on a computerand they have two monitors with
all this different text andthings telling them how
everything works, and it's likeit's frustrating.

(26:42):
I would like a quest log orsomething.
Like, I love that I don't havethis map littered with fucking
icons and just clutter, and Ilove that I can just derp around
as I've mentioned a few times,but there's some times when
someone's like, Have you donethis quest?
And I'm like, The fuck do youmean?
I didn't I talked to theperson, but you have to talk to
them three times, and I'm like,that was convoluted and strange

(27:04):
for them to open up this questline, and then like was I
playing at night, and then thenext day I forgot what I was up
to, and there's nothing toremind me of what I was on.
So, like, whenever I accomplishsomething, I have to like be so
focused and like using anonline guide.
So that's kind of fuckingsilly.

Alex (27:21):
I have like mixed feelings about that too.
Like, I think it's pretty cool,but like I I don't know.
I think like just be nice tothe player, man.
Like, give them like I don't Idon't need everything on my map,
but a nice little likechecklist would be all right.

Luke (27:34):
What's funny is this is the nicest to the player game
they've made.

Alex (27:38):
I know, right?
For for real.
For real.
I'm such a weirdo too, though,because like I I've I've like
dabbled in Elden Ring now, andI'm not like I'm not a stan, but
I think it's cool.
But I'm but I still want to goback and play Dark Souls.
Like that's how this is that'swhat I'm saying.
Like, I'm such a weirdo.

Luke (27:56):
I understand my I want to because I'm pretty pretty pilled
on the experience.
So and I feel like I've learnedsome of the language, so to
speak.
Like we've talked a lot aboutthe semiotic domain that you
are, you know, involved withhere, and how you just learn the
language of a game and youunderstand and you get become
fluid, and like I respect that.
I've totally gotten way betterat that myself.

(28:17):
So like I think that Dark Soulseventually, maybe if I get that
itching.

(28:50):
I have never played a gamewhere I've fought this many
different enemy types this lateinto the game.
Breath of the Wild is acomparison that you'll heal me

(29:13):
hear me keep bringing up becauseof the adventuring, the
exploration.
But I got so tired of fightingthe same five Zelda enemies.
The bosses were pretty cool,but in this game you have super
sick bosses, like that's a wholeconversation of its own.
But the fact that like I go toa new area and I'm not just
fighting the same skeletons, thesame trolls, the same like

(29:33):
Skyrim is an almost perfectgame, one of my favorites ever.
But like you fade a lot, fighta lot of the same dudes, and
you're almost tickled when yousee something new.
In this game, I get to a newarea, I'm like, what the hell is
this thing's deal?
Is it even friendly?
It's usually not.
And then I have to figure outwhat in the fuck I need to do.
What in the hell is even that?
And how do I handle it, youknow?

(29:54):
Indeed.

Alex (29:56):
No, I I agree with that 100%.
And they're like fucking weirdass things, and they're all over
the place and have you gotstuff.

Luke (30:04):
Deep enough in the castle to see the big like spider evil
crazy thing that's not even justa boss, it's just this big
crazy thing you gotta.
Well, I guess it's kind of aboss because it doesn't
regenerate, but like I haven'tseen this yet, but um I can't
wait.

Alex (30:18):
I do that's how I saw that and I was like fuck, what am I
supposed to do about this?
Dog, that's what's really coolabout this game, though, is that
you know, even there's justregular baddies.
Super good example.
This is the spider you bringup, is a good example.
Really great example is likevery early in the game after
that um that like turning pointfor you or the the camp or

(30:39):
whatever.
Yeah, when you go past, there'sthat big gate that you know,
and then you go in there andthere's a troll on top of this
bridge looking down at you, andthere's a bunch of archers or
whatever.
But it's this massive troll.
It's the first troll that Ithink it's the first troll that
you run into.
But dude, it's like justimposing, staring down at you.
I was like, oh, this is thelittle boss, and like, no.
It's it's just like baddie.
It's just like a really big,crazy, cool place to like

(31:02):
environmental baddie.

Luke (31:03):
I think I got him to drop like not on my head.
I think some people have likerun into that area and he
literally lands on him and killshim.
Uh the first time I did it, Iactually defeated him, but
that's just because like I gotsome weird thing where I was
being a little sneaky penis andhe dropped down but didn't
immediately attack.
Interesting, yeah.
So I like attacked him and thenI survived.

(31:23):
I was able to draw out thearchers.
I like got way more leveled andthen came back and like could
not do that area.
I was like, how the hell did Iget past this the first time?

Alex (31:34):
The first time that uh like I've been back there since,
and it's it's still difficult,but it's manageable now.

Luke (31:39):
That's the nice thing about talking to people is
because people just tell you tofuck off from that area and go
find a cave somewhere else andlike get way stronger.
I feel like no one was tellingyou to fuck off, and you kept
running into the strongest ofwalls.

Alex (31:52):
Dude, well, that's the thing, though, is uh I would
just bounce off everythingthough.
Like, no matter which directionI ran in, I'd be like, that's
too hard.
That's too hard.
And then you got to Margot wayearly.

Luke (32:01):
I was like, How'd you even get up there?
You're like, you know, becauseI just you go past enemies if
you just run.

Alex (32:07):
Yeah, totally.
Which is you know, there's likea little bit of that's fun too,
though.
Like, it's like it's just it'ssilly, dude.
It's a weird game.
You really gotta be in themindset.
I think that's just it.
Like, you had to know thatyou're like getting ready for
some punishment.
You have to be ready to andlike it's the same thing with
Metroid, dude.
It's like when you're like uhwhen you're fighting a boss,

(32:28):
like you just know it's gonnawhoop your ass a bunch of times,
and then you're gonna learn andyou're gonna get it, and that's
super rewarding, and that'sit's similar in this sense as
well.
Only you really do have to likelevel up.

Luke (32:38):
Yeah, I'd compare it to Super Metroid in the sense where
it has like that old schoolsensibility of like obscureness,
where like you're like, I wasable to break that was a glass
tube that I was able to bomb andexplode.
You remember that point inSuper Metroid?
Yeah, and I was like playing itin the year of our lord, maybe
22, 23, and uh 21, and I waslike, how the fuck was I

(32:59):
supposed to know that that was abreak of like nothing had led
me to believe that's how youprior to that happening, and I
wasn't talking to anybody aboutit because it's a schoolyard,
yeah.
Yeah, so like this game's kindof that way too.
Like you jump on the internetand you're like, you need to use
this emote, and then the guywill jump down.
The way you get it is afteryou've heard him the first time,

(33:20):
you talk to the merchant andyou bring up the howling at this
place, and then he'll teach youthe finger snap, and then you
go back there and you snap yourfingers.
And I'm like, how the fuck doesanybody know this ever?
Yeah, and I but it's made forthe five.

Alex (33:33):
If you found that out organically, it would feel sick,
but I don't know how anyonecould do that.
Well, that's what's aninteresting thing about this
game, and to my understanding,some of the other FREM software
games is the okay, so we talkedabout the co-op multiplayer we
did where you were summoned intomy game and you're able to help
me out with stuff.

Luke (33:49):
Yeah.

Alex (33:50):
There's another earlier layer to the multiplayer and the
more like I don't know,constant multiplayer that's
always happening is if you'reconnected to the internet, you
get left messages by folks andthings like that, right?

Luke (34:01):
Um, that's the most expensive $20 game I've ever
bought.
Because I now feel the onlineis absolutely crucial to
playing, so I have to keep it.
Oh, funny.
Yeah.

Alex (34:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got that gold pass.
I know the cheapy cheapy.
Yeah, if you had it on PC.
I know, isn't that silly?
But continue.
Extremely silly.
But so, anyways, there's theselike messages that get left
behind and these like coollittle like uh what they're
almost like ghosts, you know.
It's just dick jokes.
There's lots of them aren'tmost of them, lots of homoerotic

(34:33):
jokes.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh, it's everything'sabout being done in the butt or
like in some head.
It's like wow.

Luke (34:38):
Finger butthole.
Yeah, you have like thislimited list of things to say,
and people have just figured outevery perverted thing to say at
every perverted moment, andit's dude, it's clouding when
you hit me up and you're like, Ihaven't quite figured out like
all the lingo yet.

Alex (34:50):
I don't really know what they're getting at.
I'm like a and like I Iremember you read like texting
me that and I've reading it.
I'm like, I'm pretty sure theseare just butt jokes.
Like, I don't know.

Luke (34:57):
Yeah, I love how I'm like I'm out here being like, Al, you
don't get it.
You just gotta, you just gottahang, you gotta figure out the
language.
And you're like, Luke, it'sit's dick jokes, they're just
the fingers doesn't meananything other than then try
fingers just means like youknow, butt stuff.

Alex (35:13):
I was like, uh-oh, okay.
Oh man, but it's you know, likethe it's the internet, so you
of course are gonna get thatthere, which you know, no
surprise.
Uh but that that layer though,that like multiplayer aspect of
it, I think that's really cool.
Like I think it's fun.
It makes you feel like in a ina world where we're all
separated and we're playinggames by ourselves, like it's

(35:34):
cool to like have thatconnection in a way.

Luke (35:37):
It's funny because part of the reason the game's so cool
is because it doesn't alwaysfeel video gamey because the UI
is so stripped down and the youknow there's no quest log and
all these things.
But then it feels intenselyvideo gaming because you see
other gamers like shadowsessentially rolling around, and
sometimes I think it's an enemycoming to sneak up on me and

(35:57):
it's just some other persondoing something similar as me,
or sometimes you can seesomebody platforming a section
you're in, you're like, Oh, thatis doable, or like they leave a
little message like I did it,and you're like, Okay, and then
sometimes someone jumps down tosome space that you can stand on
for a second, leaves a message,and then you jump down there
and die, and you're like, Youfucking buckle.

Alex (36:17):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Dude, I think uh the only Iyeah, right.
I can I can forgive all of thisgame's like what I'm saying are
shortcomings or pain points orwhatever, like because I I do
think it's cool, and I thinkthey add it, they like make it
different, they make it adifferent experience, they make
it really cool.
The only thing I can't forgiveis the fact you can't pause,

(36:38):
bro.

Luke (36:38):
Oh my god.
Any defense, any defense ofthis is a gameplay mechanic.
Just I would stare at them andI would like to be like, I like
to pee.
I like to take the amount oftimes I'll be like taking a
drink thinking I'm safe, andthen like something attacks me.
I'm like, okay, or like youknow, my wife being a reasonable

(37:01):
human being asking something tome or conversing with me.
I'm like, not fucking rightnow, okay?
Can't you see what's happening?

Alex (37:08):
Clauding.
I had a we won't go into thefull story, like, but like my
furnace went out.
I mean the coldest day of theyear and like made some smoke
smells, so we had to get thefire department to come through,
and I was at the round thistime just trying to play some
Elden Ring, and like somefiremen are coming through my
house, and the game's justfucking rocking and rolling.
I'm like, this is ridiculous.

Luke (37:29):
I was uh I would just like to pause.
I mean, I get it where like youcan't switch a weapon out in
the middle of a fight.
I'm not arguing about that, butjust like quite simply, dog.
Sometimes I just want to likeget up and do something or
acknowledge the other humans inmy existence in life, or like
rock a text, or look up one ofthe many obscure things I have
to look up for this stupidfucking game that doesn't tell

(37:52):
me.
Nah, dude, you gotta live inthe land between, or whatever
they call it.
Yeah.
Foul tarnished.
I get it.
I get it.
Um, you have any othergrievances with the game, or
have you already emptied yourclip, old man?

Alex (38:05):
Uh, there's a couple in the chamber, but no, I'm just
playing.
I I pretty much I think I'vegot them out there.
Like, I am, you know, I've Icame with some like gonna give
this game some negative energy,but at the same time, like uh
that's not actually where I'm atwith this game.
Like, I am enjoying this game,I think it's cool.
I understand why it got all thegame of the year awards, I
understand why people love it.
It's just for me, it's not agame that I want to plow

(38:25):
through, and I don't thinkthat's like a good or a bad
thing necessarily.
Um, you know, I really enjoynot playing this game for like
five days, and then being like,I am in the mood to get my ass
kicked.
Yeah, and then I'll and thenI'll you know get in, get my ass
kicked, or maybe like you know,not, and then I'm like, wow,

(38:46):
that was great.
And I and it's so for me, dude,like I'm totally happy to have
this game just be a game that Iwill go and explore and like
have some fun and push through,and like who knows if I'll ever
beat it, but like I would justlike to plug through it.
And I think that it's not agame, and then I think it's
almost a knock, or I look at itas almost a knock that it's that

(39:08):
it the story doesn't likecapture me to at least not yet,
to like want to push through andfinish.
Like normally I would cast thatas a knock, but like it's
almost a boon in some ways.

Luke (39:17):
I find it becomes so liberating, dude.
I find it so refreshing to justnot be caught in some fucking
cutscene or some stupid dialogueor like just plowing through
text.
Like I'm just I'm just derping,dude.
I'm just gripping it andripping it, brother.
I'm just exploring.

Alex (39:35):
See, you've committed, and that's just I think like
whereas I'm still like I'm stillnot like uh I'm not 100% there,
but I'm like I'm I'm tastingit.
I can I can feel it, and I'mlike you understand the the the
vibe.

Luke (39:46):
Uh it's crazy, and this isn't practical as 30-year-old
men, uh, one of us soon to be40.
Um, but like if you had aroommate that was playing it, or
like if we lived together backat mom and dad's, like you would
either be inspired to play it,or love watching me play it, or
like you'd see me do something,you'd be like, Oh shit, okay,

(40:09):
that's what I need to do when Iget to play next.
Like but we don't have that inour lives, and I've been able to
kind of recapture that withsome of the conversations I've
had with some people.
Whereas like for you, I feellike when we did the co-op, that
sparked it a little bit foryou, but like, you know, there's
like a big chunk that likeyou're just left to fill in the

(40:29):
blank, and if you don't have anyassistance on that and you have
to completely do it from theinternet, I can see where you're
just like, I just want to vibewith my one hour of free time
today.
I don't want to fucking die tothe same boss.
Uh which I do die to the bossesa lot, and you do learn their
things.
It's like a Metroid is theclosest one.
Like Metroid where you learn todance with the boss, it's like

(40:50):
that.
I find it intensely liberatingthat I just pick it up and I'm
like, I'm gonna head over thereand I'm gonna do some stuff over
there, and I'm gonna see if Ican find anything cool.
Yeah, not fair.
And there usually is somethingcool and I'm gonna level this
up, I'm gonna see somethingcool, I'm gonna like laugh at
how fucked something got.
But I I will like run intothings and I'll just like die.

(41:11):
And the way I die, I'll knowthat I have to be done playing.
I'm like, I'm like, that waspretty fucking stupid.
And I'm like, yeah, you shouldprobably just be done.
And then I pick it up the nextday and I'm way better.
It's kind of silly, dude.

Alex (41:25):
And that's uh that's like another like at first it used to
really bug me the like thecheckpoint type things, the
little fire pits or whatever, uhhow you get sent back to those
or whatever statue, depending ifyou're closer to one of those,
but then you have to go back andget your credits.
It's like you know, ShovelKnight and shit, like does it as
well.
That's like a it's um that'slike the type of whereas like I

(41:45):
really don't like them not beingable to pause.
Like, I don't mind thatmechanic.
Like it's it's an interestingenough thing and like
challenging enough where it'slike, well man, I just shouldn't
have died my sec when I wastrying to go retrieve my
credits, you know.
Like, how are you gonna dietwice?
You fucking my runes.

Luke (42:01):
Yeah, I actually lost a huge bag of runes lately.
Uh a particularly egregiousthing where like I just
shouldn't have done what I did,and I was like, Oh, like you
that's what it always is.
You took so much fall damagebecause you just were being
impatient to get back to it, andyou're like, oh, that was that
was so much.

Alex (42:18):
But that's see, and that's that's whereas like I'm like
the the pause button isunforgivable, but like this
stuff, I'm like, you know what?
That like does add an elementto this game that I'm like I'm
actually here for it, yeah, youknow.

Luke (42:29):
Yeah, I'm not mad about that.
The leveling systems areactually pretty fun and
rewarding, and like thereplayability, you you might
pick it up.
We've talked about it off micbefore.
You're like, I might plowthrough it, I might get through
like a different chunk of itsomeday.
We'll see.
Whereas, like, my question islike I definitely think I'll
beat it or at least get very farto get most of the map.

(42:51):
But it'd be cool if like I dida magic build someday.
Oh, sure.
The game is you can learn thelanguage, but it's also like
it's like just because you canconverse casually in Spanish
doesn't mean you know Spanish.
And then like there's MexicanSpanish and there's Spain
Spanish.
There's a difference.
It's like, did you do a magicbuild?
Oh, you did I did this type ofbuild, did you do this?

(43:13):
And there's like there's somuch complexities that like I
admire.
I find it frustrating when likethere's mechanics that I've
just like I know like craftingitems and like using bombs and
other consumables, I know I cando stuff like that, but I'm
like, that's just too much forme right now.
I'm just a simple man.
Uh but I also like respect andlike find it intriguing that

(43:34):
like if I really needed thatitch, that I could just keep
going and going and going.
And I'm tired of people on theinternet when I'm looking up
like different build thingstelling me to just have fun.
No, I'm trying to get good.
I want to know it's affectingit.
I only have so many resourcesto put into my weapons.
Like, tell me if this weapon isworth it, you fucking nerd.
I understand that I'm justhaving fun, and this is how I'm

(43:57):
having fun, trying to optimizemy build in a way that's fun.
I want to use the cool weapon.
Hey, tell me if it's worth it.
Let me know.

Alex (44:56):
Are you gonna give this game?

Luke (44:57):
Dude, I want to go up to scale to ten, so I know you
don't want that, but here's thereason why.
I'll give you a 4.75, because Iwanted to give the game a nine
and a half.
Right on.
And here's the deal.
I've never played a game withcooler enemies.
Uh, it rivals the best part ofBreath of the Wild, which is

(45:18):
maybe my favorite game ever,where of the exploration and the
freedom, and I love the pareddown quest stuff.
I love that you're just outthere and then you're jamming.
But I cannot give a game a 10out of 10 that I cannot pause.
That is I have to give it a0.5.
And there's other small, smallgrievances like I wish there was

(45:41):
something that did like a questlog.
I wish there was something lessobscure with figuring out how
to do missions and not beingonline for it.
So check back in to see if Iended it, but maybe someday
after beating it or keep playingit, I'd put it in my top ten
games because it's that good.
To certainly be considered, butjust the tiniest of little

(46:06):
checks, check marks against ithave made me hesitant to say how
much I loved it.
But as far as like sometimes wesay, like, five you can pause
it, dog.
Right.
Uh sometimes we say, like, whowould you recommend this game
for?
That becomes more complicatedbecause of the things like the
accessibility.
Like it has to be someone wholike knows what the fuck they're

(46:29):
getting into and like is a notlike a capital G toxic gamer,
but just like a bit of amasochist.
Yeah, or even just like someonewho knows what they're signing
up for.
It's like you don't ifsomeone's into Legos, you don't
give them the most complex setpossible if it's their first
build.
So this is like a moreintricate build.
You gotta be in the Elden Ringmindset, right?

(46:50):
You gotta be ready, you gottaknow.
It's dense.
If you gave somebody a book andyou gave them war and peace,
they're gonna be like, heybuddy, I was looking for a light
read.
Like, you really have to readthe room on what someone's
asking from you.
So sorry.
Uh what do you rate the game?
Like a two out of five, youfucking boomer dude.
Nah, dog, I'm gonna give it afour out of five.

Alex (47:09):
Dog, I I I respect this game.
Like I was a little sour on itduring the talk, but I kind of
wanted to come with that energyto kind of juxtapose.
I knew you were really likekeen on it.

Luke (47:17):
Just constantly be a circle jerk for the game we've
played, so I respect that.

Alex (47:22):
And uh, and you know, like it did frustrate me.
Like, I don't think there'sbeen a game that we've played
for this podcast or a game thatI've ever played that I've been
like, I don't know, soconflicted with.
I'm like, do I like this game?
Do I not like this game?
But I'm looking at like thisthe scenery or I'm exploring the
map and I'm like getting mylittle like dopamine hits when I

(47:44):
like, you know, like but at thesame time, like I'm also like
fuck this.
I'm I'm gonna play 2K.
I can't right now.
Uh you know, it's like and it'sand it's it's totally the
mindset, dude.
You and like so I'm gonna getfour out of five because it's
not the perfect game for me.
This isn't my game of the year.
I respect it, I can see why itis.
I just don't think it'splayer-friendly enough, and I

(48:06):
don't think it needs to be.
Like, that's another thing, youknow.
Like, I don't think that allgames necessarily have to
respect the player, you know.
It makes it we need games likethis to, you know, just to like
push things forward to like beable to have the the variety out
there.

Luke (48:20):
It's like when a grunge or a metal band or like a punk
band goes pop, yeah, but theystill have their roots of like
being grimy and shit, you know.
So like it's not for everybody,but like the music critics are
about it and it pulled in ageneral audience, but they still
have they're still fuckinggrimy, dude.

Alex (48:38):
Totally.

Luke (48:39):
That's a weird comp I had to throw in, but hell yeah.

Alex (48:41):
And it's and it's interesting, dude, because like
when you you know, who would yourecommend this game to?
Like, I gotta if you're lookingfor like kind of like a uh like
a gritty, dark, open worldexperience, like just go get
into it, like check it out.
I think it's definitely part oflike people should people
should taste Elden Ring.

(49:02):
Especially like if you're ifyou're from Soft Curious, like
like I have been, like I thinkthis is the this is the sampling
you want.
It's the perfect entry pointinto the yeah.

Luke (49:11):
If you like this, then you should go back to their early
garage band punk shit.
Indeed.

Alex (49:18):
Play some Sekiro, play some some bloodborne.

Luke (49:22):
You know?
I hope you don't like pausing.
And I hope you don't have awife and children, because then
you should definitely play thisgame, dude.
Dog, I'm just I'm gonna likeyour maidenless dude, play this
game, dude.

Alex (49:33):
Maidenless.
With that, let's take a littlebreak, come back with our
unsanctioned sponsor.

Luke (49:38):
Hell yeah.
For our unspanctioned sponsor,unspanctioned sponsor, I do not
recommend spanking unless that'swhat you're into.
I'm not here to king shame.
We are not we are not sponsoredby spanking today.
We are unofficially brought toyou by guys being dudes, dudes

(50:04):
being spanning.
Guys being dudes, just a bunchof guys being dudes.
And a sub-sponsor of that is soI, as Alex knows, I had I had
what we call men's retreataffectionately.
We're just guys being dudesgetting RB, and do we do
anything?
No, we just hang out and it'sdope.
So I sent this delightful textto my wife where it was a little

(50:25):
homemade meme template where Isent her what we were doing, and
I was like, she thinks you'reout having like causing trouble,
what you're actually doing.
And it was a very nerdy pictureof Settlers of Catan, which
somehow my nerdy ass has neverplayed.
That's a fun game, dude.
It's like Age of Empires boardgame.
I know.
So, like anytime I would tellpeople that I had never played
it, they're like, How are you,the social studies teacher,

(50:46):
gonna tell me that plays videogames and shit all the time?
Yeah, you're like all hard overmaps and things.
Like, how have you not played?
I'm like, I just haven't runinto it.
Well, I finally played.
There's this uh wonderful cardkind of board group game called
Bang.
Have you heard of Bang?
I feel like you've done enough.
Um made in this once again.

(51:07):
But uh no, Bang is like thissuper cool card game.
I encourage you or thelisteners to look it up.
It's like a fun group gamewhere you kind of have a role.
There's a sheriff, there's arenegade, there's multiple
outlaws, and then there's adeputy.
The deputy's job is to protectthe sheriff, the sheriff's job
is to kill all outlaws in therenegade.
The renegade, highest degree ofdifficulty, needs to have all

(51:30):
of the uh outlaws or needs tokill everybody, I guess, but you
have to do it sequentiallybecause if the sheriff loses,
then the outlaws win.
Uh and you don't knoweverybody's role except for the
sheriff.
Um, so that's like a fun thingto do when you're hanging out
with dudes.
So just a bunch of guys beingdudes, playing board games, uh
hanging out, eating too much,living it up, cold weather.

(51:52):
It's pretty tight, dude.
Guys being dudes.
This is a guys being dudespodcast, and we're usually a dad
pod, but now we're a guys beingdudes pod.
Unofficially brought to you inpart by bros.
Just bro love is the only love,you know what I'm saying, dude.

Alex (52:08):
I can dig it, man.
No, that's that's cool.
I get fed this ad all the time.
Not I don't know what's in thead, you gotta fed this article
all the time that says that uhfor men's uh for their mental
health to like to maintain solidmental health, the bros should
be hanging out at least twotimes a week.

Luke (52:24):
Whoa, they should not feed that to us, dude.
They should feed that toothers.

Alex (52:31):
It looks like how do I how do I push this to my wife?

Luke (52:34):
How do I forward this?
Nah, dude, it was it was tight,dude, because I I came home, I
was happy to be home, and thenit's just every once in a while
to just you never know when yourlast your last sleepover with
the boys is, your last hang withthe boys is.
You never know when your lastone is, but we all have a last
your last land party.
You didn't know it was gonna beyour last land party, Al.
The good times, good timesthey're over.

(52:56):
So just a bunch of guys gettingtogether being dudes.
Al doesn't have much tocontribute because he's jealous
over there, dude.
He's like, why don't I?

Alex (53:03):
Where the fuck's my invite?
Where's my invite to my cabinfull of dudes, dude?
What the fuck, dude?
Oh, I feel you.
That's that's cool.
Uh, I'm jealous of your yourrecent bro spirits.

Luke (53:15):
The bro spa farts and cheese, dude.
Not a vegetable in sight, dude.
That's actually a problem, butfor another day.

Alex (53:28):
Banging stuff.
What was it?
Just banging with dude playingbang, dude.
What do you what's weird aboutthat?
This episode is brought to youby Luke bangin' bros.
Dude, Luke bangin' with bros,dude.
It's different.
Sorry, banging, banging withbros.
Yeah, not banging with bros,dude.

Luke (53:44):
Banging with bros and beers.
Beers, bros, banging.
It's more of a whiskey, but youget the point.
Beers too filling with all thecheese I was consuming.
You been side questing, Did?
Dude.
You go first.

(54:04):
I got a nerd rant.
I've been pretty full of thosetoday, so you hit us first.
You know I've been sidequesting.

Alex (54:11):
Please tell me about NBA banned from the pot, just like
NCAA football.
I haven't I haven't beenplaying much 2K.
I mean, I got it in, like I gotin a couple, like I had to
play, uh, I had to, you know,see what Luca looked like on the
Lakers.
That was the most what it is.

Luke (54:30):
Uh The Ringer is doing like an expansion week when it
comes to NBA.
So just thought piece toarticles on NBA expansion.
And yeah, it did give me huh.
Should there even be one?
I would say so, yeah.
Um, but I would love to pick up2K simply for doing a franchise

(54:50):
or dynasty or GM mode, whateverthey call it now, and uh doing
an expansion team with anexpansion draft.
So you might you might see meon there one of these days for
that deep, deep nerd deal.
What were you gonna say beforeI hit you with that?

Alex (55:03):
Oh man, I have been I'm about 15 hours into Pokemon
Emerald.
So that's that's a big, a bigside quest for me.
It's been a lot of fun.
Yeah, a little bit, dude.
Yeah, you know me.
I I love my handhelds.
I recently uh yeah.
What gen is that?
Three five?
Uh that would be three-ish, Ithink.
So it's Game Boy Advance.
Um I think it's third gen.

(55:24):
So I recently picked up uhmaybe, maybe.
But I've I picked up uh so it'suh you know Pokemon like um oh
man, I can't I think it's Ruby.
And I can't remember what thethe other color is, but those
two came out, but it's not sothere's leaf green and like red,
whatever.

(55:44):
So but those are remakes, yeah.
Fire red.
So those are remakes of theoriginals, right?
Yes, but so that's like kind oflike Gen 2-ish.
Well, Gen 2 would be likecrystal, who cares, dude?
We're not Pokemon Podcast, butthis this uh this game's been
fun, dude.
It's been it's been fun to likebecause it's like more polished
than the ones that I reallylove, like red and blue, yellow

(56:06):
and shit.
It's been fun to be in uh wasthe Hanto region or whatever.
I don't know.
The hentai, but it's yeah, it'sit's cool, man.
It's fun.
It's like I love that stuff.
It's uh it's been cool to likeI'm watching.
I mean, you bring up 2K, butI've been watching the NBA.
I watched uh to a little bit ofmy chagrin, the all-star
weekend stuff.
Dude, it was I I wouldn't watchagain unless they change it

(56:28):
back to some yeah, we don't needto get into that, but like
don't love the format.
Uh uh, but it's fun, like toyou know, get uh get a shot.
I've been watching um the USAbasketball Olympics thing on
Netflix, like watching that.
It's like a documentaryproduced by your boy Obama.
Um it was good, dude.
Um yeah, they're about threeepisodes in on that when I just

(56:52):
playing Pokemon while I do that.
I love like if if if uh Anna'sgot some trash TV rocking, like
I might sit down on the couchnext to her, play some Pokemon.
Like, it's it's great.
It's great for like mindlesslygrinding, pushing along, making
it happen in the Pokemon world.
And that's uh primary.

Luke (57:07):
It's like a grind that you're so built into your
childhood that like it's soforgivable.
Like if you picked up one ofthose games now, you might have
a rough time, but like justeverything that comes with it is
so fluid.
I mean, the random encountersand some of that nonsense, like
that might not be forever, buttrue.

Alex (57:25):
But I think because we I grew up on that, and that's like
my Pokemon experience.
Like for me, I think to yourpoint, like it works.
Yeah, uh, but the reason I Ithink the reason that I kind of
dove into that is because I Igot myself a new handheld toy.
I got the Ambernik RG34XX orsome shit.
I don't remember what thebottom is.

Luke (57:43):
Are you other handheld toys jealous, or is this like a
polyamorous relationship withyour various handhelds?

Alex (57:48):
Dude, you want to get in the weeds on it?
Kind of poly, because I alsogot this Game Boy SP right here,
right?
Yeah, clamshell.
And uh, so I've got this game,I've got the cart, and then I'm
able to make a ROM because I'vegot this, I've got the stuff to
do that.
Sure.
And basically, I so Iduplicated the game and was able

(58:12):
to use emulators on mycomputer.
Uh so I was able to rip thesave file from the cart, put it
on my computer, get an emulatorgoing up in a dual windows, dual
emulators, and I was able totrade Pokemon back and forth.
Like I was able to create thetrade system going.
Speaking of dense, he can'tfigure out how to scale with
dexterity, but he's like, I gotmy double emulators up here.

(58:33):
The only thing is, like, Ididn't like I didn't have the
foresight because like I didn'trealize that you could get the
other starters later in thisgame by breeding.
I didn't understand that thebreeding was in the part of this
game.
Uh, so I spent probably a solidlike two hours because it
doesn't let you trade uh any ofthe starters like at the first
like uh Pokey Center orwhatever.
You have to actually get yourfirst badge before trading

(58:56):
actually becomes unlocked.
So like I so I poured and likedude, I picked up one of the
games off of uh I picked up thegame off eBay.
So someone had a save file withsomebody I was able to trade,
which is nice.
And on mine, uh, so I was ableto get that starter.
And then on mine, I like Igrinded for like two hours to be
able to get to the point whereI could trade the other starter.

(59:17):
So I got all three starters,only to find out later on that I
could have just bred themlater, but who cares?
It was about it was about beingable to like play with the
tech, like, and then to move thesave file back onto the Amber
Nick, dude.
I just like you know me.
I was Alex's farm system forthis game.
Yeah, continue.
Uh but dude, so like it's beenfun.

(59:39):
Like it was fun to do that.
It was fun to play with thetech, get all the fucking all
the uh handhelds kind of syncedup with the computer, all the
save files pushed around,tinkering with that stuff.
Uh, and I've been playingPokemon.
And now that I've got those,you know, I probably won't do
much more trading because whatam I gonna do?
Like grind out 30 hours on oneso I can get some more.

Luke (59:58):
You got three coolest ones in the game.
Well, that's it.

Alex (01:00:00):
Like I'm also I'm like, I'm not a completionist, but
like you gotta catch them all,right?
So, like a part of me is likewants to get all of them, but
I'm like, nah, dude, like youjust gotta let go, just push
through to the end.
You don't need to have themall.

Luke (01:00:12):
But as an adult, I'm like, I gotta catch this beetle.
I don't have one yet, dude.

Alex (01:00:17):
For sure.
So that's that's a major sidequest.
Another major side quest.
I got myself a PS3.
Uh and that's been a lot offun, man.
So I picked that up off oneBay.
I don't know, dude.
eBay kind of got me the lastcouple months, I guess.
But I've been tinking aroundwith the PS3 and playing some
like PS3 is like a cool system,man.
It's uh I had one uh back, youknow, around the 2008 ish, I

(01:00:40):
guess.
Um is when I got mine, then Isold it, and then I think maybe
we went in on one when I cameback from Spain or something.
I'm not really sure.
But um, so I've had one in mylife, but uh I haven't had it
hasn't been like a mainstay, sothat's like a big like gap in my
gaming background.
Like, there's a lot of coolgames.
Games that came out in that erathat I haven't played, so it's

(01:01:00):
been cool to be able to uhdabble with some of those games.
And I've just kind of beentweaking this thing.
Uh and it's fun, dude.
And like, you know me, I'm asucker for for hardware.
The PS3's got a veryinteresting controller with the
pressure sensitive buttons.

Luke (01:01:13):
Yeah.

Alex (01:01:14):
Um, and you know, so that's uh it's cool.
Two major side quests for me.
PS3, I'm gonna do three majorside quests.
Well, because PS1, PlayStationDog, I've been like, dude, so I
got the PlayStation Classic.
I've been messing with it.

Luke (01:01:26):
I now regret clearing out for this, dude.
I'm antsy to talk about mygame.

Alex (01:01:32):
Yeah, but then I've also been setting up the emulators
for PlayStation on uh on my PC.
So I like got my classic going,that's really fun.
But then on the PC, dude, likeit's so much dude.
This is some stuff that likemaybe doesn't like mean anything
to you, but like the fact thatI can upscale a PS1 game and get
it to like look beautiful on myon my computer and play it,

(01:01:52):
like it just gets it like andrun it 60 frames per second, get
that thing looking nice, like,dude, it's just so fun.
It's so cool to like soundslike you enjoy maintaining your
motorcycle.

Luke (01:02:03):
Uh yes, this is correct.
That's hilarious.
What's a PS1 game and a PS3game that you've enjoyed playing
since getting it booted up?

Alex (01:02:14):
Uh Little Big Planet is like one that I've been fun been
having fun with on PS3.

Luke (01:02:19):
I played a little bit of that, but unfortunately I never
beat it.
I think I got it for free whenPlayStation Network was hacked
and then it was down for likeever.
Oh, sure.
I never beat it, and I kind ofregret that.
I sometimes in life I didn'tunderstand what a game was, so I
yeah, I don't know how todescribe that.
That's a mission for adifferent day.
So how about PS1?

Alex (01:02:40):
PS1.
I played about 40 minutes ofFinal Fantasy VII, which is a
game I've never played, andthat's like to taste that one a
little bit was fun, and it'slike, I don't know, there's so
many games, and it's like hardto be like, I want to go spend
30 hours to beat this game, butI kind of do.
Yeah, like I've I've beentasting the RPG, like the old
school RPGs.
Like Pokemon's like Pokemon'sthat end like that gateway drug

(01:03:01):
for me, dude.
It's like maybe you are readyto do some Chrono Trigger.
Chrono Trigger's supposed to bepretty, like, pretty
approachable, I guess.
But like maybe you are ready todo like biomedication routines,
beating them up and stuff.

Luke (01:03:12):
Yeah.
Um, well tight.
Love the gear talk.
Uh jokes aside, PS3.
Um, I loved the Assassin'sCreeds, but there's other ways
to play those now.
I feel like Uncharted the same.
So has anything else caughtyour eye from my collection back
in the day or no?

Alex (01:03:31):
Uh I mean, you do have all the Ask Creeds, which is dope.
I and I mean you just said itright there.
The Ass Creeds and theUncharted.
I mean, like, I've I've playedthe Ass Creeds, so like I don't
have a and I do have them onSwitch now, and I have like a
couple other ways to play them,so like I'm probably won't dive
back into those, especiallybecause I have I've played them
on Switch now.
Uh I haven't played any of theUncharted stuff, so like I'm

(01:03:52):
very intrigued to like jump intothe Uncharted.

Luke (01:03:55):
Lord of the Rings Conquest is one of my weirdest
purchases, but that game's kindof fucking cool in hindsight.
How about skate?
Do I have the old skate gamesin there?

Alex (01:04:03):
You have skate two.

Luke (01:04:04):
Fucking that's the best one.

Alex (01:04:05):
Oh, and you have skate.
Yep.
So you have skate and skatetwo.
You know, those are classics.
What else?
The Batman?
Do you have a couple of theBatman?
Or no, you just had the oneBatman game.
Yeah, that's a good one.
So Arkham City is the one thatyou got in there.
Um for me, for the for these,what I'm oh, you've got uh
Arkham Asylum as well.
You should play Asylum.

(01:04:26):
So I have both of those gameson the PC, but I probably play
them on the PS3 because why not?
So those are those are for me,dude.
See, I'm I'm excited to checkout the Uncharteds because I've
never really dabbled in thatstuff.
I think there's Call of DutyBlack Ops and stuff like that
that I'll play a little bit.
I've never played the Kill Zonestuff.
You're telling me the Kill Zonewas very much of its time.

Luke (01:04:45):
Yeah, it's supposed to be the Halo Killer.
Uh you bought me Black Ops forChristmas.
Oh, that's for me?
Yeah, dude.
It's kind of funny becauseneither one of us uh is a Call
of Duty guy, but you had justmoved back, you were living at
home for a little bit, and itwas one of those deals where
you're like, dude, I got youblack ops.
Now let's play a bunch of blackops for me too.

Alex (01:05:08):
I don't really remember that.
That's cloudy.

Luke (01:05:10):
It had one of the good original, not the original, but
it might have been like thesecond attempt at zombies.
It's a really good zombies.
Um do remember that now.
And uh we would do the online,and I just sucked balls at the
online.
You you definitely did too.
Uh so we were never good.
We but we we hung out together.
It was tight.
Well, that's cool.
Good trip down memory lanethere.
Also, if you have physicalmedia, hold on to it, guys.

(01:05:33):
So for me, my side quest, I'llkeep mine shorter.
Uh, we have to do another podbecause we're so backlogged.
I'll save my larger uh big dealfor the next one.
So I'll go with a smaller one,which is that I've been playing
around on the Steamy D, asalways, in my bed.
Um, and I have recently giventhe the rogue Prince of Persia a

(01:05:54):
decent few hours.
Oh yeah.
And it's cool.
Um I have, if you're a fan ofthe pod, you'll know that I have
a nostalgic soft spot forPrince of Persia IP.
Yeah.
And also you'll know that we'reyou especially, but I liked it
too.
Big Dead Cells fan.
So basically the people whomade Dead Cells got the IP from

(01:06:15):
Ubisoft.
So if you don't like theUbisoft stank, please ignore
that when it comes to these lasttwo.
This one and um Prince what'sthe what's the one that came out
last January, February?

Alex (01:06:28):
Um Prince of Persia?

Luke (01:06:30):
Yeah, what's that?
The most recent Prince ofPersia.
We did a pod on it andeverything.
Um blanket on the name.
But that game is fucking cooltoo, and it didn't get enough
glow because I think there'sjust Ubisoft stank on it.
But that was a really goodgame, and this is a really cool
fun game.
Uh Lost Crown.
Thank you.
Um, but the rogue Prince ofPersia is cool um because it is

(01:06:51):
a 2D roguelike platformer actioncombat, very similar to Dead
Cells, but a little bit moreplatforme focused.
So you do like this wall runthing, and then you combine wall
running with some other stuff,and it's just cool.
And I'm just getting into thejust getting into the beginning.
I wouldn't say it's like superslick like Dead Cells, but it is

(01:07:13):
in early access, so give itsome time, and I think it'll be
a totally worthwhile game.
I wouldn't say for you to buyit just yet.
Uh look for a a nice littlesale or maybe that 1.0 release.
But I like early access games alot more than you, and I kind
of like being a part of thatlittle journey, and I'd say it's

(01:07:35):
the build currently,especially, is definitely fluid
enough where you don't feel likeyou're playing some sort of
unfinished jank.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
No, for sure.
So I think that's pretty gnar.
I've been reading a lot ofgraphic novels that's been
tight.
I just finished Anthony deBournay's ghost book.
Don't recommend that, but theart's cool.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Got it from my public library.

(01:07:58):
Sir.
And I just finished blankets,which is a graphic novel
classic, but I don't feel liketrauma dumping on anybody what
that's about, but it's tight.
And I've been in the middle ofEast of West, which I realize
now that I'm balls deep into the10-part series that number nine
is impossible to find.
So I'll have to figure out howto handle that.

(01:08:19):
So I know an eBay addict, somaybe he just needs to look out
for me.
Um, but that's been reallycool, and I really wish they
would turn that IP into either ashow.
It was picked up at one point,but I think it's been canceled.
And they need to turn that IPinto like a show or a game or
something, because yeah, thatwould be tight.
And I eagerly look forward tothe last Ronin Teenage Mutant

(01:08:42):
Ninja Turtles.
Have we talked about that onthis pod, or have we been so out
of commission that we haven'ttalked about that journey?

Alex (01:08:48):
I can't remember if I mentioned or not, but I I love
The Last Ronin, dude, and gotthat for you for Christmas.
I'm glad you glad you read it.
Have you read the second oneyet?

Luke (01:08:57):
No, I want to get a little bookstop near your house.
I just was overspent the lasttime we were there.
So next time I go there, I'llgo there knowing that I'll at
least buy that book.
So I'll have been mentallyprepared to just continue to
blow money locally.
Yeah, dude.
But yeah.

Alex (01:09:13):
That's a that's a super fun, super fun book or whatever.
And the I'm I'm about halfwayinto the prequel, the prequel
now.
That's a lot of fun.
Um, yeah, yeah.

Luke (01:09:25):
Uh digitally from the library, yes.
Yeah.
So I just can't wait to eithersee them turn that into a movie,
TV show.
Fucking, I know there's a gamecoming out, like I'm just very
excited for that.
Dude, you you brought up books,man.
I gotta throw this book outthere.

Alex (01:09:38):
Uh let you yeah, doc.
It's it's called Nothing to SeeHere by Kevin Wilson.
Okay.
So if folks are hungry for abook that's like pretty, it's
like a quick, like written sowell, dude.
Like, it's such a fun read.
Reads pretty quickly.
Fiction.
So it's called Nothing to Seehere by Kevin Wilson.
And it's a book about thiswoman who ends up becoming a

(01:10:00):
nanny for uh her like an oldfriend of hers from college.
I'm not gonna like give awaytoo much of the story here, but
these kids catch on fire, likethey like spontaneous, they like
spontaneously combust.
That's like a thing that justhappens with these kids, but it
doesn't hurt them or anything,right?
But that's just like a weirdquirk about these kids, and it
is just like the most wild,ridiculous like story about her,

(01:10:22):
like I don't know, living withthese kids, and like it's just
like it is so funny, dude.
Like you just gotta check itout.
Like, it's a big recommend forme.
Uh, it's like a comedy, afiction comedy.

Luke (01:10:34):
All right.
Um, I do it's easy for me tofind nonfiction books, and it's
easy for me to find graphicnovels, but I struggle with uh
finding fit good fiction, so I Iwrote that down as you wrote or
as you spoke.
So that's cool.

Alex (01:10:48):
Yeah, yeah, it was good.
It kind of greased my gears toget me back into to reading like
actual book books again.
So I'd like so I've beenreading that one I plugged
through real fast.
Uh, and then I've been kind ofchugging through um some Kurt
Vonnegut because he's a favoriteauthor of mine.
But I haven't uh I mean he'sgreat, like don't get me wrong,
but like I had like this the Ihad to like uh see to the

(01:11:09):
finish, uh nothing to see here.

Luke (01:11:11):
Whereas like I'm I'm running player piano.

Alex (01:11:14):
What's that?
You some sort of fuckingEnglish major, dude.
What are you sounding, chuck.
But like with player piano,though, it's like in I'm
enjoying it, but it's like I'mnot like okay, it's not I can't
wake to like go to bed at nightso I can fucking read, you know
what I mean?
Yeah, I feel that word.

Luke (01:11:31):
Go read a book, everybody.
Alex was an English major ifyou didn't pick up on that.
I'm not a dick to Englishmajors, just this one.

Alex (01:11:41):
Indeed.
Much love, everybody.
Thanks for listening.
Welcome back.
We're glad to be back after thetechnical difficulties, the
sicknesses, the schedulebananas, whatever stuff.
Yeah.
Life, but uh good to hang,dude.
Fun to talk about this game,fun to play this game.
Just two guys.
If you want to check out somebros banging.

Luke (01:12:02):
Well, check out the game bang.
I doubt it's like hugemainstream, so they could
probably use some people who areinto board games.
If you like, if you got a gamenight, you know what bang is,
and if you don't, you should getit.
Bang bang.
Check out no5gaming.com.

Alex (01:12:14):
Bang bang.
Till next time, y'all.
Peace.