Mario Characters That Aren't Mario | LFTF Ep. 001

This episode, Luke and Alex kick off a brand-new segment: Low Five Top Five, where they rank their five favorite whatevers in gaming. First up? Top 5 Mario Characters That Aren’t Mario.

It’s a surprisingly heated—and deeply nostalgic—ride through Nintendo’s Mushroom Kingdom. Expect strong opinions, twisted logic, and more than a few honorable mentions (and dishonorable disses). The lists may be Mario-free, but the stakes are high and the takes are hotter than a fire flower. 

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Episode Transcript

Alex (00:06):
Yo, what up?
Welcome to another episode ofLow Five Gaming.
We got a special one for youtoday.
You got me, Alex, and mybrother Luke.
What up, Luke?
Hello, sir.
How you doing?
That feel radio-y.
Does that feel like we're onthe radio right there?
Was that a good radiointroduction?

Luke (00:21):
If you want it to be for your ego, yes.
But I don't feel like you'renot shock jockey or zany enough
for the radio.
So what about like late nightradio?
You know, like some like it'slike college radio.
You're you're a sophomore.
Do you have some seasoning togo?
That's kind of the vibe.
We've been doing this for likethree years.
I'm not seasoned enough.
I mean, for podcasts, sure, butour intros are always hella

(00:42):
awkward.
Behind the scenes, we've oftenhad to do it like three times,
and it's it's odd.

Alex (00:48):
Well, we're not redoing this one, and it's not your
typical episode either.
This is our inaugural low fivetop five.
How about low five sickles?

Luke (00:58):
Like testicles but low fives.
Because it's a list.

Alex (01:01):
Uh like it.
I'm like low five top five.
I'm the marketing media.
And that's what we're doing.
Low five top five.
LFTF.
Lo fives, low five, top fives.
Lo fives top guys.
Nope.
Ruined it.

Luke (01:18):
Made it all fucking corporate and shit.

Alex (01:21):
Oh man.
Yeah, but dude, but this is I'mexcited, man.
I'm excited.
We uh we'll get into uh we'llstill do our our side questing a
little later on, talk about thegames we've been playing and
whatnot.
But the uh the main, the beefypart of the episode, the main,
the main event is a low five topfive, and our subject is the
top five Mario characters thataren't Mario.

Luke (01:42):
Which kind of made me laugh because Mario's kind of a
boring boner, so like it's justall the top five characters.
Like Mario would not havecracked my top five.

Alex (01:51):
So fair enough.
But I'm on I'm gonna make acouple of extra rules to this,
though, dude.
So it is a list, it's your topfive, so it's like it's it's
whatever, dude.
It's like you're it'ssubjective, it's your opinion,
that's fine.
Your opinions aren't alwaysgreat, so it's whatever, but
that's what it is.
We'll get to that when we getto that.
But uh, you know, like you haveto have a little backing, and
here's the deal the rules arethis no Mario, no variations of

(02:13):
Mario.
So, like if you have I don'tknow, Tanuk Mario.
Yeah, I love Tanuk Mario.
He's dope, but he's not he'snot eligible.
Sure.
Right on.
Uh, and that goes for anyvariants of um the other
characters as well.

Luke (02:30):
How do you feel about Donkey Kong?
Uh I may talk about Donkey Konga little bit.
I just mean, is he so much ofhis own thing that he in his
extended universe will betreated as such, or are you
compute com putting them withinthe Mario Canon?
Because um I'm what understoodhow you feel about that.

Alex (02:48):
Uh he he would be Donkey Kong and his crew would be
included within the Mario Canon.

Luke (02:53):
Okay.
I guess he was in the firstgame.
Um I'm gonna go ahead and sayDiddy Kong is off the table.
Not it.
So just Donkey Kong.
Did he play?
Did he send?
Is Diddy Kong in a Mario game?

Alex (03:06):
He's in a Donkey Kong game.
Correct.
But Donkey Kong spurs fromMario, so I'm gonna allow it.
Fine.
Cranky Kong number one.
Get this fucking thing overwith then.
Word.
Uh I think that is the I thinkthat's the only real rules.
Alright.
Uh no Mario's in special suits.

Luke (03:27):
No criteria for how you came up with your list.
What is your what's yourcriterion, sir?

Alex (03:33):
What's your rules?
We can kind of get into thereasoning when we when we make
our picks or when we list offour lists, but um No, I want to
talk about it right now, dude.
Fuck off.
Fair enough.
Well, I have a like a beefy,like I have a beefy uh preamble
selection?
I have a beefy like honorablemention list that I'll get we
can get into like before we topour our number ones, maybe.

(03:53):
I also wanted to go one tofive.

Luke (03:55):
How do you feel about that?

Alex (03:56):
Just start with the best and then go.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Silly about that?

Luke (04:01):
I don't know.
Not a chance.
Not a chance.
Let me get the the intensefeelings out of the way and then
I'll just pick the goofy ones.

Alex (04:11):
No, we'll we'll go five five up.
Um then we'll start with uhwe'll do a little coin flip to
see who starts first.
How about that?
Are we not allowed to pick eachother's people?
No, we can, but you know, it'sjust kind of for the flow of it
and know.
Why don't you why don't youstart us off our inaugural low
five top five list?

Luke (04:29):
First of all, I want to get through my criteria because
since I went first, I can gothrough all my criteria first.
And I'm just just spread out,dude.
I'm gonna take like 20 minuteshere.
Alright, man.
So when I'm thinking aboutthis, uh first off, let's just
be real.
These are mascots, these areDisney.
I'm gonna go straight up withcuteness.
Um, we got we really gottagrant in cuteness.
Now, cuteness is a range,right?

(04:50):
I mean, there's the obviouslike Yoshi, but then there's
like, you know, Wario with hisportly self and his sick
mustache.
That's cute in a different way.
Kind of like an evil maniacalcute, but cute.

Alex (05:01):
Great golf outfit too, bro.

Luke (05:03):
Huh?

Alex (05:03):
Great golf outfit as well.

Luke (05:05):
Yeah, go Vikings, just generally purple gold, what a
bro.
Um, second off is funniness.
Um, and that seems prettyobvious, but as you'll get into
uh in our lists, I'm sure, uh,Mario as the game has
progressed.
I mean, even from thebeginning, they have a lot of
quips.
Not always the most voiceacting outside of just goofy

(05:27):
noises, but uh does thischaracter make me laugh?
Which goes back to Mario,boner, not cool, not a good
hang, not good with the quips.
Alright, dude.
He's he's just like there.
Whereas all of the people addall of the flavor to his
universe.
With Chris Pratt being theexception.
I actually don't mind him asMario, but I digress.
And then the third and perhapsthe most important factor is um

(05:49):
standalone game.
Do you have a universe outsideof your own?
Do you have your own signaturetitles or at least like standout
moments in games, big games?
And then I guess like a littlebit of a bonus that carries
somewhat a weight is uh how areyou in Mario Kart, Smash Bros.
Mario Golf, the extended MarioOlympic universe?

(06:10):
Like, are you someone I wouldpick?
Is that all settling well withyou?

Alex (06:14):
I like that.
That was good.
Good job.
Um thank you.

Luke (06:17):
I'm glad you put that into this.
Yeah, no, I mean I really lostsome sleep over this last few
days.
I mean, it's really important.
That being said, um, I want totroll you and say it's Funky
Kong, because I think grumpy oldmen are hilarious by nature,
but that doesn't meet all of mycriteria.
Uh it's gonna be Donkey Kong atfive.
DK at five?
DK at five.
Um I know you have somehow justso many uh honorable mentions.

(06:45):
Uh but if I had to with listone, if we were to say Donkey
Kong is not included, that wasmy Yoshi slot.
So shouts out to people.
Um actually don't give yourhonorable mentions because that
ruins some of the uh themystique as to who you're gonna
pick.
So maybe you gotta get to thoseafter, dude.

Alex (07:02):
Honorable mentions we can either throw in before we do our
number one or after we do ournumber one.

Luke (07:06):
Ah, alright, alright, alright.
Before.
So I'll leave that there.
We can leave all themessinesses.
You know how this beautifulsausage was made.
Uh DK, hilarious dude, justwearing a tie, his nuts just
hanging out after just wearing atie.
That's hilarious.
That's pretty good.
In different outfits, he'sgreat.
I'm gonna cheat and includethat he's just got like a cool,

(07:28):
like, whole family and vibe.
You got Funky Kong, who'sdefinitely selling dope and just
surfboarding on things.
That's fucking cool.
You're smashing crocodiles andjust doing a whole lot of gang
shit as Donkey Kong, so he'scool.
I like Donkey Kong games.
And Donkey Kong was great inthe movie.
Seth Rogan, excellent DonkeyKong.
I mean, what else can I say?
The OG villain turned hero,turned hero of his own thing,

(07:52):
and hasn't been a villain reallyin forever.
So excellent in Smash Bros,just womping dudes in the face.
Always.
Not much for Mario Kart, but Ilike also my last yeah, I don't
usually play as heavies, but inMario Golf, I like that he just
swings with one hand.
That's hilarious.
So uh first selection, DonkeyKong.

(08:14):
What do you got for numberfive?

Alex (08:16):
I'm surprised you had him so low.
I think Donkey Kong is a greatpick.
Good job.
Yeah, thank you.

Luke (08:20):
Thank you.

Alex (08:23):
It is.
You said uh you weren't gonnatroll me.
I'm gonna semi troll you andtell you my number five is
Luigi.
What a dick.

Luke (08:32):
What?

Alex (08:33):
And Luigi's Luigi's great, dude, but like, you know, he's
number five.
That's good, man.
Out of all there's like 300Mario characters.

Luke (08:39):
Yeah, but it's four main ones, you piece of shit.
This is just like he's numberfive.
He's not even in a fork.
Just overshadowed by hishandsome younger brother, and
you're the portly short one,even though that doesn't make
sense because you're taller thanme.
But in spirit, you're my portlyshort older brother.
But fine.
They're twins, by the way.

Alex (08:58):
Portly short, dude.
I'm 6'6.

Luke (09:01):
You're like 6'4 for like 30 years of your life, and then
all of a sudden you're like, youknow, I should add another inch
to be extra cool.
So keep the keep growing.
It's whatever.
Not where it matters.
Continue.

Alex (09:12):
Oh, ow.

Luke (09:14):
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little offendedabout Luigi.

Alex (09:16):
Luigi's my five, dude.
That's pretty good.
Pretty good.
Like I said, the 300 Mariocharacters, he's up there at
number five.
But here's the deal.
I have like Luigi.
You've claimed Luigi.
And I'm a I'm a good bigbrother, so I've I've given you
Luigi.

Luke (09:30):
Uh and a shitty older brother who's never been second
person, second place, secondcontroller.
So like you've never played asLuigi.
You've always fought.

Alex (09:37):
Here's the deal though, dude.
Luigi, I used to have so much.
I still have Luigi love, butlike Luigi was my guy because we
didn't get you were.
I mean, I'm I'm older than youare, obviously, but uh we didn't
so like you were how old wouldyou say?
Let's see, when we got the 64is probably the first system
that like makes sense.
So that would have been how oldwere you when we got the 64?

(10:02):
If I was like probably 12-ish,that would make me six.
Six.
So so dude, like, so yeah, yourwhole life you've been playing
Luigi.
But here's the deal like whenI've from my six all the way to
12 for six years, my veryfoundational like go over to
homies' houses, play the games.
I was always Luigi becausethat's just how it goes.
Just about Luigi.
Big, big, well, yeah, ofcourse.

(10:25):
I'm like, bro.
Okay, and I got I do got theyears on you.
Obviously, the gaming landscapehas leveled off.
Maybe you've maybe you'vesurpassed my abilities, except
for in 2K, which we may talkabout later.
But yeah, dude, so like I mean,I I mean, like Luigi got a
special spot in my heart, dude,because it took a long time to

(10:45):
uh to crack the video games intothe household.
So like Luigi was my guy.
Like, if I was uh I was pickinglike the the you know,
whoever's household we were at,they'd always go with Mario.
So I go Luigi.
Luigi's got some cool energy,man.
He's basically a Mario clone inthe early games, but it's
green, green, cool ass color.
Green was my favorite color fora long time.
Tall jump, quiggly legs.

Luke (11:05):
That's funny.

Alex (11:05):
Mario 2, Super Mario 2, uh for the Nintendo.
Luigi does that fucking likefloaty jump thing.

Luke (11:11):
Everybody knows you can jump higher if you continue to
kick your legs.

Alex (11:14):
I guess it's in yeah, dude.
I guess that's in Smash as wellfor the folks that like aren't
out of here playing this.
But yeah, dude, Luigi is asolid one.
I will say that like the reasonthat he bumped down to five, he
kind of like I don't know, man.
Like like Luigi got cool Luigienergy, but like his game's
proper.
Like, why is he such a wimp?
You're out of control, dude.
Like Luigi Manchester stuff,why is he so scared?

(11:36):
Why being such a little why ishe be doing such little scary
pants?
The hero, dude.
He I know he's the hero, buthe'll scared accidental hero.

Luke (11:43):
Not accidental, he perseveres.
Okay, okay, that's youropinion.
You're allowed.
Number five, Luigi.
Yep, okay.
Um, I don't know if you'regonna be at number four, Peach.
Um, because I'm a feminist.
Um you know, probably couldhave had her below Donkey Kong.
They're pretty similar.
You get the pink in there,dude.

(12:04):
You get the floaty dress dealwhere um kind of helps you uh
when you're not feeling grindingreal hard in the various games
she's in.
Uh Super Smash Bros.
She's actually like nasty, likereal good.
Uh she's got her own cart too.
Haven't played it.
What's up?
She's good in Kart too.
Yeah, and Mario Golf, she'salways like super accurate.
I forgot Mario Tennis.
She's actually pretty nasty inMario Tennis.

(12:25):
I'm a big fan of her, MarioTennis.
Yeah, dude.
Peace brings good uh good shit.
Uh cuteness, like for sure.
Like little, you know, PrincessVibe.
The wife always plays with heruh when we play games like Mario
Party.
So pretty solid there.
Uh funniness, all of thepersonality came from the movie,
to be frank.
Um, and then there's some sassyquips here and there in the

(12:45):
different games.
But definitely they made her uhAnadroy Taylor, is it?
I believe so.
Um they made her a pretty bigbadass.
The movie definitely uh boostedthe coolness.
I can't once again say for theown game, but in the extended
Mario universe of games, she'susually a threat to deal with,
so fuck with it.
I can dig it, dude.

Alex (13:05):
Yeah.
I will say that uh I mean herher character arc, I've I feel
like it's gotten better overtime.
I feel like the princess indistress, like you know, that
they've they finally finallyslowly made their way past that
a bit.
It still happens, it's still atrope.
But um she kind of holds herown.
And I may talk a little bitmore about that, about that
later.

(13:25):
We'll see.
But that's a small one.
Let me see.
So that's you got you got Peachat four.
My number four is my man Wario.
Nice.

Luke (13:37):
Mm-hmm.

Alex (13:38):
Wario's a great character, great enemy.

Luke (13:41):
Feel kind of bad.

Alex (13:42):
You like his weird games, I bet, huh?
I sure do, dude.
So that's a that's a truereason why he cracked his list.
Uh shouts out to Waluigi, butWaluigi just doesn't have his
own game, man.
He's just in there to beWario's like doubles partner.
You know?
Yeah.
Bless the internet.
I know the internet, and I'dlike Waluigi too, but like when

(14:04):
it comes down to it, I justcouldn't make him crack the
list.
He doesn't got enough going on.
And Wario does, dude.
Wario's like, he's a good badguy.
He's got his own games, so youget to like what would that even
be?
What is that?
You're are you an antagonist?
He's like the protagonist ofthe Wario games because you're
playing as him.
Just out there trying tocollect his coin, respect.
Trying to take over castles,respect.

Luke (14:23):
Got a sweet Eagle Guy mustache.

Alex (14:26):
Dude, he does the charge thing.
He's got like he got the powerup where he gets the horns.
Like, dude, lots of cool jokeson a motorcycle?
Dude, for real.
I will say, you ever play anyof the WarioWare games?

Luke (14:36):
No, I never had like a DS or a 3DS or they got them on the
Switch now.
Two of them.
Yeah.
$60 mini-game games.
100%, dude.
They uh people love them.
People love them.

Alex (14:48):
They like for the the Game Boy Advance, the DS, all that
kind of stuff.
I had it, but it's I did I didscoop the the Switch, one of the
Switch ones for cheap on a saleor whatever.
But that's just the thing islike people do love it, like the
MarioWare stuff so much, andlike you know, respect.
I think they're okay.
Like, I've I've never likeburned a whole bunch of time.
It is kind of like Mario Party.

(15:08):
Like, I feel like it's the Idon't know, man.
It's just like at least in myhousehold, he doesn't have the
right vibe to be like, hey,let's play WarioWare.
Like, if we're gonna play, ifI'm gonna play a game with the
wifey, it's like we'll probablyplay Mario Party or or a cart or
something like that.
Warioware for whatever reason,not as intriguing.
It's kind of like the minigames of Mario Party on crack.

Luke (16:30):
They're just like little minute-long, yeah, like crazy
little deals.

Alex (16:34):
It's almost like it's a genre of its own, really.
Indeed.
But I respect it, dude.
I respect Mario, and he's mynumber four.
I said it earlier when youmentioned him, dude.
He's got uh are waiting.
Was it yeah, you mentionedMario about the his we were
talking about his his golfoutfit, pretty solid.

Luke (16:49):
Yeah, I mean he's a fat, goofy dude with a super evil
awesome mustache who farts andrides a bitch in motorcycle.
I mean, it's kind of hard tobeat that overall.
I forgot about the motorcycle,motorcycle dope too.
Yeah, he's kind of his gamescome through in his Smash Bros.
persona too.
So like his gameplay is likekind of chaotic, if you ask me,
in like a cool way.

Alex (17:09):
He's another heavy dude.
I love playing with heavies.
I'll I'll I'll mess with I meanalmost all the time.
Smash, I'm gonna play with aheavy Wario's one of my guys.
Uh I like DK, I like Bowser.
Those are all good Smashplayers for me.
Plus just like a good wr.
Like who doesn't like a goodwow?
So for sure.
And uh, I don't think I don'tknow if we've ever had like a
proper, like he's supposed to beaside from Smash, and then

(17:32):
obviously like your tennis andall the sports stuff, like he's
clearly like the yin and theyang to to Mario.
Like, I mean it's an up, it'san upside down.
With bizarre Mario for sure.
I feel like it's low-hangingfruit.
Like they have they ever facedoff in a platformer in like a
true, like in a true like Marioversus Mario.
Oh yeah, six coins, that'sright.

Luke (17:54):
But he's like the main antagonist.
Like you fuck up his castle andyou go free.
I love that game.

Alex (18:00):
That's like your game, dude.

Luke (18:02):
Fuck.

Alex (18:03):
He's tough.
That's probably another reasonwhy he's up on number four, bro.
There you go.
Yeah, hell yeah.
All right, what do you got forthree?
King Bowser, dude.

Luke (18:11):
Bowser.
Nice.
Pretty pretty easy argument tomake him tops.
They have made him super coolover the year.
Casting Jack Black as him waslike an instant, like, all
that's super fun.
Uh, peaches.
Tons of fun.
I was Bowser for Halloween thisyear.
That was tight, dude.
Totally matters.
Forgot that blind ranking item,but that matters, dude.

(18:35):
I also love that he is a fatherto a little shithead kid.
Multiple kids, apparently.
Oh, really?
I thought Bowser Jr.
was just his kid, buteverybody's his.

Alex (18:45):
Well, I thought I thought the other Koopa deals like all
the other little couplings orwhatever they're called.

Luke (18:49):
Might have to look into that.
But Bowser Jr.

Alex (18:52):
I think Bowser's spreading his seed, bro.
I think he's out there.
Hell yeah.
Uh Anthony Edwards up in thisbitch.
Oh, Jesus.

Luke (19:00):
Uh but yes, um, my favorite is in the newest paper
Mario game, there was just likesome jokes about Bowser being
like about being a dad and shit,and it just geeked me the fuck
out.
And it was just really funny,like making fun of his kid with
like I don't know, he's justmaking fun of Bowser Jr.
in some pretty hilarious ways.

(19:21):
So uh he's got a cool look tohim.
Uh it's a different type ofcute.
Uh my children say Bowserinstead of Bowser, and that's
fucking adorable.
Shooting fireballs, dude,formidable enemy.
Always been really cool bossfights with Bowser.
A so long, gay Bowser.
Iconic.
Gay Bowser is a king,obviously.
So um, did I miss anythingabout Bowser other than just

(19:43):
being like a super cool design?
Hilarious.
I guess he hasn't had his owngame, but you have been able to
play as him, like in Mario RPGs.
Is that correct?
I think so, yeah.
Has he ever been a playablecharacter?
So that's what I'm saying.
I've never played all the waythrough a Mario RPG.
Yeah.
And like in Paper Mario, he'sfreaking hilarious.
Just love.

(20:04):
They've just really like put alot of put a lot of growth into
like comedic.
Like, he's not much of like abig scary enemy for the most
part in games.
He's mostly just like this bigbumbling goof, and I I love all
that.
So yeah, for Bowser.

Alex (20:18):
You know I love Bowser.
Yeah, Bowsi.
I like it.
I like it, dude.
So that was number three.
You got DK Peach Bowser.
I've got Luigi Wario.
My number three, DK.
Donkey Kong.

Luke (20:31):
How did I not mention the rap when giving him his proper
time?
I guess we had to leave somemeat on the bone, but that raps
iconically.

Alex (20:39):
Dude, for sure.
I mean, DK, I thought about it.
I was like, maybe I do funkycon because he's cool, right?
Like this airport guy doesprobably does drugs, like
whatever.
Definitely is selling them,dude, in that shack.

Luke (20:48):
Are you fucking kidding me, dude?

Alex (20:50):
But then I was like, but then I was like, I don't know,
though.
Like he kind of just lives inthat space and like fermented
banana, at least, man.
For sure, dude.
But DK, like, I like if youlook at it, dude.
I love his story arc.
I love that he like he's outhere pulling a bowser, stealing
peach, throwing a bunch ofbarrels and fireballs and shit
at Mario while he tries to gosafe peach.
Like, that was that was theoriginal game, right?
So Donkey Kong, you got Mariogoing to Safe Peach from DK.

(21:13):
He's a baddie.
And then over time, theyintroduce him into the Mario
world via Donkey Kong, likeDonkey Kong Country or whatever.

Luke (21:21):
Gets to shoot peanut guns.
So yeah, that's funny.

Alex (21:26):
Rail card line.
Diddy didn't make my list.
Spoiler for my for my honorablementions, but like Diddy's cool
too.
And I think like as a as a kid,like I definitely love Diddy
more, but it's that it's thatevolution that I was leaning on
earlier.
Did you play Diddy Kong Racing?

(21:47):
Maybe that would have affectedit.
Isn't that supposed to bereally good?
People love Diddy Kong Racing.
I've always just been kind of akart guy because I didn't I've
never owned Diddy Kong Racing,and like neither did my homies.
We all just played Mario Kart.
People that had Diddy KongRacing stand by it and love it
so much.
But uh, but yeah, no, likeDiddy was like it was to
two-player thing, man.
So, like again, when I wasplaying Donkey Kong at homies

(22:08):
houses, you pick up the secondcontroller, you can control
Diddy, I think.
So that was one of the reasonswhy I was like, Diddy be cool,
but like I started to thinkabout it, and over time, like
more just DK for me, dude.
He's got like that that from abad guy to a good guy.
I'm I'm here for the Seth Roganinterpretation of of DK.
Like, uh, I'm you know, eventhe whole like um little refresh

(22:28):
of the visual look too.
I like it.
I like it, I like hischaracter, I think it's fun,
iconic soundtrack.
Iconic soundtrack.
I tell you what, dude, ifyou're playing I'll fuck with DK
in cart, I'll fuck with DK inany of the sports games, uh
Smash for sure.
He's uh like a semi-mane ofmine.
Pretty much all the heavies Imess with, except for uh bad

(22:49):
guy, the big uh crocodile dude.
King K.
Rule.
I love King K.
Yeah, K Rule.
He's cool, but like I I'm notreally great that at his
moveset, but uh but he's funny.

Luke (22:58):
He was my main in that game.

Alex (23:00):
Nice, that's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah, but DK, man, and DKalso, how many ridiculous cool
peripherals they made for himvia the like GameCube Wii era?
Dude, he's got bongo drums.
That's dumb.
I guess at the end of the day,though, um, he's just a monkey.
I'm alright with that.
Monkeys no, yeah, but like howmany podcasters take on one DK?

(23:22):
100 podcasters, one DK?

Luke (23:26):
Definitely gonna take more.
Uh with the barrels he'sthrowing, dude.
Just think of how many he couldsnipe out before he even got
close.
So probably at least 200.
He's just a monkey in a worldfull of dinosaurs, dinosaurs and
walking mushrooms.
So gotta peg him down a few,dude.

Alex (23:42):
I like how he's like kind of like uh like a rebellious
little angsty badass in in themovie as well.
Kind of a whiny hoe at the sametime.
Yeah, it kind of just works forme.

Luke (23:53):
Yeah, I like his little arc when there's some clear
romantic tension between Marioand Peach, and he's just a tool
about it.
Love that.
Great, great timing.
So that's my number three, man.
Alright, here's the spiciestone of I think both of our
lists, dude.
My number two.
You want to guess it?

Alex (24:10):
Uh, let's see, you got DK Peach, Bowser Toad.
Dick.
Captain Toad.

Luke (24:17):
Aha.
Fucking love Captain Toad,Treasure Tracker.
I have such a weird, irrationallove for that fucking game.
Uh Captain Toad, all thevariations of Toads.
Uh, they hit the cuteness forsure.
They hit the funniness wayharder than you'd think.
Hilarious little quips out ofToads going back forever.
Uh, Captain Toad, what anadorable little outfit.

(24:38):
What the fuck?
That's awesome.
Just an adventurous littlechannel.
Yeah, dude, whatever it is,it's just tight.
Um, I love that game.
I adore that game.
I love I'm gonna blank on itbecause I'm on a mic, but if
it's is it 3D Land or one of thegames is where they introduce
that.
The little toad sections arenot like a shitty little break
from the action.

(24:59):
They're like a tight littletreat.
So uh super underrated.
I guess you have to say thatyou don't get to play as toad in
a lot of games, and when theydo, it's just bass toad or
toadette, and they're not themost exciting, but they're
usually fast, so it's kind of afun, light gameplay.
So that's tight.
Massively underrated ToadTreasure Tracker.

(25:19):
What a just a delightful littlegame.
Probably the game I've spentthe least amount of time in that
I've thought the most about.
That's a weird distinction.

Alex (25:27):
It's a cool game for sure.
And Toad is uh a greatcharacter, Captain Toad
specifically.
Great little character.
Yeah.
So would you consider CaptainToad to be the one on the cart
in Mario Kart or just Toad, orare you gonna kind of call them
both?
I mean, if you go back to myrules, dude, I was I was saying
that like the the outfit setsdon't change the character.
So like I'm gonna consider aCaptain Toad.

Luke (25:49):
Yeah, but sometimes Toad is like a main character.
So Captain Toad is his ownthing, so you can't really count
on it in the code.

Alex (25:57):
Isn't Captain Coad isn't Captain Coat?
Isn't Captain Toad just likethe toad though?
It's a toad.
Isn't it the toad?
Like the coolest one.

Luke (26:06):
The coolest one, yes, but like the toad from like 64?
Probably not, no.

Alex (26:13):
So we're specifically talking about uh Captain Toad
has an appearance in TreasureTracker.
Captain Toad's game is TreasureTracker.

Luke (26:21):
Okay, cool.
And then he's in I want to sayhe's in Odyssey.
You run into him and you findhim in like weird ass places,
and he's like, Whoa, here's themoon you were looking for.
I found it over here.
So like he is his own, he's notan outfit, he is a character,
Captain Toad.
I guess also Toad Ed.
Whatever, fine.
I don't know how the hair worksthat she gets pigtails of

(26:41):
mushrooms, but I guess that'sfor scientists to tell us.
Indeed.
You weren't supposed to guessToad.
God, I guess I have such anobvious heart on for Toad, dude.
Damn.

Alex (26:52):
Ah, so that was your number two.
My number two, my boy Yoshi.

Luke (26:58):
Species or the Yoshi?

Alex (27:00):
Uh a little bit of both, I guess.
I mean, the Yoshi is what I'mgoing with, but like, you know,
red Yoshi, yellow Yoshi,whatever Yoshi, they're all
tight, but Yoshi, Yoshi, I don'tknow.
All the Yoshi.

Luke (27:11):
Not a lot of personality there, so very strong on the
cuteness.
Um like the uh the own games.
Do you like those though?
Yeah.
Uh what are you doing?
The aesthetic is super cool.
The crafted world, the woollyone.

Alex (27:24):
Yeah, so like uh I've got crafted world, I've played that
quite a bit.
It's like uh pretty like it'san easier platformer for sure,
but it's like I like that lowbarrier entry.
I love that it's like I mean,if that is the type of game that
like I'm super stoked toeventually play with my son when
he's a little bit older, youknow, that kind of deal.
Like kind of get him into theplatform and give us like a
really good two-player, likeNintendo got it down on like the

(27:47):
marijuana of video games, dude,like the entry drug.
Sure.
Uh but Yoshi, dude, but alsolike he just like elevated.
So, like, I think what reallyso Yoshi, there's a few reasons,
uh, but I think what reallyelevates Yoshi for me is not his
standalone games like YoshiCookie and stuff, it's okay,
like for um Nintendo and GameBoy, that kind of stuff.

(28:10):
Uh, there's some really coolYoshi games for the Game Boy
Advance.
I want to say it's like SuperMario Advanced 4 is like a Yoshi
thing or something.
Uh that one's solid.
And then Super Mario World,when you actually get to like
that's like I feel like eventhough Yoshi was introduced
earlier via some of the things Ijust mentioned, like Super
Mario World, where you get toyou get the free the Yoshis,

(28:33):
ride the Yoshis, spit fire, fly,all that stuff.
It's such like an awesome likepower-up companion to Mario.

Luke (28:40):
It's like a mech in a Mario game, but it's Yoshi.

Alex (28:43):
Totally.

Luke (28:44):
Yeah.

Alex (28:44):
I can dig it, dude.
And Yoshi, like pretty solid inall those spin-offs and in all
the sports games.
Like, you know, he's a mid likemiddle, like middleweight, so
well balanced.
I would say I like to play himwith him in golf.
Uh, I'll I'll use him in cartfrom time to time for sure.
Um I like that jump, the highjump, dude.
Just like all the just like theabilities that it gives to

(29:05):
Mario.

Luke (29:06):
Like it's pooping edge in um Smash Bros.

Alex (29:11):
where you poop in the middle of an egg.
That's pretty accurate.
For sure.
But then there's the straightup cuteness, though, dude.
He's a dinosaur, but he's likethe cutest little dinosaur.
He does it for me.
I wish I have so many memes,dude.
It's like a regret of mine.
Not a real regret, because likeif I really wanted to, I'd just
go and buy it.
But like I don't have the thewoolly or like whatever the the

(29:32):
yarn Yoshi.
And that thing is do you havethat one?

Luke (29:35):
You know, I did.
I don't know if I still do.
Um between the dog and moving.

Alex (29:40):
Yep, yep.
That one's tight though.
I like that one.
It's a little bit bigger, it'slike fun.
I kind of wish I had.
I didn't have like the baseeither.

Luke (29:45):
It's just like, yeah.
Um, Yoshi was my first cutoff.
I I crossed his name off andput DK.
And honestly.

Alex (29:54):
Dude, you were gonna name your children you Yoshi.

Luke (29:57):
Yeah, I did want to name.
When there was just believed tobe one child, I was fighting
pretty hard to have it namedYoshi.
Um I did not win that argument,and I was never gonna.
Yeah, yeah.
At the end of the day, Yoshi'sjust mad, cute, and fun to play
with, but like no good soundstoo.
Like kicking out cute, funsounds great sounds, but like
not much of a main character, nopersonality, because it's like

(30:20):
a dog.
It's like a dinosaur.
That's probably why I like themthough.
Dogs are dope.
Love me a dog.
Love me a dog.
But I think if I had to pick afive, it would have been Wario
and not Yoshi still.
Which is crazy because I usedto probably main Yoshi and Mario
Kart was like probably one ofmy first mains as a child.
Like you'd fight for Yoshi as alittle kid.

(30:41):
And I do love the differentcolors of Yoshi.
Lots of fun.
The next movie is clearly gonnabe pretty Yoshi heavy, so
that's exciting.
Right on.

Alex (30:49):
Well, I got number two.
What do you got for you wannado you got any additional uh I
don't know, mentions you want tospit out before you do one?

Luke (30:57):
Yeah, King Bombom has a uh really cool mustache.
It reminds me of Uncle Greg.
So uh that just needs to bementioned.
Uh but that's it.
Boo is fine.
Uh I don't know what the deal Ihaven't played the Galaxy
games, I guess, so I don't knowwhat the deal with Rosselina is.
I definitely don't know whatthe deal with Pauline is.
Um she's just a lady, just anItalian lady.

Alex (31:21):
She'd be singing real nice though.

Luke (31:22):
I guess.

Alex (31:24):
Or is that is that a different character?

Luke (31:26):
That's definitely Pauline Odyssey.
And I'm just like, alright,just uh New York Italian singing
lady, alright, in her dress.
I had a student in Minecraftclub who was uh um trying to
think of his disability, but hewas very obsessed with Pauline,
and like when you when hethought you were looking away,
he'd Google Pauline and takelike little screenshots and like

(31:48):
zoom in on her face, butdefinitely just her titties a
bunch.
And uh so funny.
I won't say the kid's name.
We're just gonna say like it'sSteve, and it's like, hey Steve,
what you doing over there?

Alex (32:00):
And he'd be like, nothing.

Luke (32:03):
Let's get off those pictures of Pauline, dude.
It was really, really funny,dude.
It got a little weird once ortwice, but it was mostly cute
and hilarious.
That's amazing.
Uh yeah, okay, yeah.
Um, number one though.
Oh, you have like your fourhonorable mentions.

Alex (32:17):
I have the two categories of honorable mentions.
Uh, main character energy,Toad.
So Captain Toad as well.
Uh he was on the right on thecusp.
I was like, you know, a solidcharacter, kind of an annoying
voice, but whatever you gottado.
Yeah, it's uh that's also partof his charm.
Uh Diddy Kong, I spoke to DiddyKong a little bit earlier.
That was an honorable mentionof mine.
Peach, another honorablemention.

(32:37):
Uh, I like Peach, dude.
Like, I like playing with herin the games and stuff.
I'm glad she finally got herown mainline game.
I haven't played it,unfortunately.
I haven't heard too much aboutit, to be honest.
I haven't been tapped into ittoo heavily.
I did hear it's like okay, butI don't think it's like for the,
you know, I'm a grown-ass man.
I don't think it was made forfor grown ass men, you know.
I heard it was made for theaterkids.
I think that's all right,though.
That's cool.

Luke (32:57):
Um didn't mean it as a burn, like, literally seems very
theater kid heavy.
Yeah.

Alex (33:01):
Word, word.
There's things about Peach thatlike I don't know why she liked
two time in Bowser and Mariothough.
Like that kind of I'm I'm alittle confused at what's going
on in that situation.
What game would that be?
Do you like Mario Odyssey?

Luke (33:13):
Like she's pretty not about being kidnapped.
She just, you know, wasn't justgonna be Mario's reward.
She's her own woman, you know.
So I'm the fairest.
I would get it.

Alex (33:21):
You would give her some more points then.
My my knocks against Peach arenot against Peach.
It's against Nintendo.

Luke (33:27):
Yeah.

Alex (33:28):
I'd just say like new Peach 2.

Luke (33:30):
And new Peach.
But she's been cool to playwith ever since like Mario 2.
So that's worth mentioning.

Alex (33:35):
Agreed.
Agreed 100%.
But the float.
I got a laundry list of baddiesthat like are all cool, but
because they don't have likemain character energy, and
they're just like, you know, Iwas like, I don't know if I can
have these crack the list.
Uh, but I'm gonna start withbullet bill.
The huge dope ass dude, big bigass bullet man, and it's dope.

(33:55):
Where's chain chomp?
Bullet dogs, dude.
Where's Chainchomp at, dude?
Chainchomp is on my list.
Like Chainchomp, I've gotBullet Bill, Birdo, you know,
Birdo.

Luke (34:04):
Oh, yeah.
I was gonna put Birdo in and dosome weird sex jokes, so that's
a missed opportunity.

Alex (34:08):
That's on me.
Bullet Bill, I gotta put overdude.
Bullet bill, Bullabill's honormentionable, honorable mention
for the fact that it's just acool baddie.
And then two my birdo joke.
So it's a cool baddie.
Uh, and then he's also likewhen you're really getting
fucking hosed in uh Mario Kartand you get the you get the

(34:28):
bullet bill upgrade and you canjust shoot back.
Dude, solid.
Uh Birdo, back to Birto.
We watched it and like theBirdo joke.
I like that.
That's funny to me.
Um, but Birto's too Birto'stight for like a few reasons,
but like there was somethingthat I have like in my in uh
playing Super Mario, or notsuper, yeah, playing Mario Bros.
2 or whatever for the NES.

(34:51):
When you get to Birto, it's notlike a difficult character or
anything, but it was like thatgame is just so weird and
different, and it happens prettyquickly where you where the
Birto's like shooting out theeggs, and you gotta jump on the
egg, shoot it back.
There's just something aboutthat, it's just like a weird
thing.
And as a kid, I was like, thisis this is crazy.

Luke (35:05):
It was also added weird details like Birto's like
genderless and asexual, so likewhat the fuck's going on there?
Like Nintendo's like, I don'tknow, man.
Uh they shoot their own eggsand they hatch from the eggs.
Just it's Birdo.
Like Birdo's just like someonewas allowed to cook and think of
the goofiest thing, and thatBirdo came out.

Alex (35:24):
Indeed.
Boo.
Boo's another one on my left,my honorable mentioned list,
another baddie.
Uh, all the booze, really, butKing Boo be the baddest boo, I
guess.
Got the crown.
Uh, Chain Chomp, also on mylist.
Uh, the big the big dog chainchopper thing also has a big
book.

Luke (35:39):
Racial slur mushrooms, though.
Come on, dude.

Alex (35:42):
Dude, Koopas on my list, too.
The Koomas are like, I don'tknow, man.
It's an iconic baddie.
Like, and hammer bros.
I got hammer bros on the list.
Fucking hated those tough.
Dude, tough.
They're a tough baddie, andthey look kind of cool.

Luke (35:55):
Turtle with hammer.
Pretty cool idea.

Alex (35:57):
And then the last one kind of vanilla.
Last one kind of vanilla, butjust a Koopa.
Okay.
Again, little turtles.
Uh, but still, like Koopas are,I don't know.
You got other things.
You got the skeleton Koopas,you got like a whole bunch of
other stuff, but they're not onmy honorable mention list after
that.

Luke (36:10):
All right, so now it's time.
I got a cape for my boy uh aslow five Luigi um as the man,
the second place, or not secondplace, but second player.
Uh Luigi is king.
I am so disrespected by youputting him at number five.
I'm I am irate.
I swear you just did that toupset me.

Alex (36:28):
I did it because I knew it'd be funny if I put it at
five, but it also made sense.
Uh and I'm favorite at three.

Luke (36:38):
Um so first off, has his own distinction from Mario.
Green is a cooler color thanred.
Tall versus short.
But his jumping thing is cool.
In the games, I like to playwith them, but his standalone
games are more consistent thanTreasure Tracker, obviously,
because there's more of them.

(36:58):
But Luigi's Mansion, one of themost gorgeous games on the
Switch, and like legit reallycool environmental game, but
like just super cool.
And the whole cowardly thing isjust kind of the funny goofy
sort of three.
Yeah.
He's brave.
He always comes through, hejust doesn't want to.
He's just a big scaredy cat putin the most ridiculous
situations possible.

(37:18):
And then as the comedic foil, Ithink he's just tops.
Uh if you've played any of theRPG games, uh specifically
Thousand Year Door, he's likealways off on his own side
adventures, and he's alwayslike, Oh my god, dude, you
wouldn't believe what I've beengetting into.
And he's like one step aheadslash behind you the whole time,
like just getting into trouble,and it's just like hilarious

(37:39):
comedic foil.
So uh he's cute, he's funny,his own games have fucking slap.
And he's just the he's the twinbrother.
I have twins, but he's alsolike Loki, the little brother,
second player, doesn't mind,just wants to gas up his big
bro.
Um Luigi's just an awesomedude, it's the best.
I got respect for Luigi.

(38:01):
I have a Luigi tattoo on myinner thigh.
Nice.
My balls kind of hit it.
What if I did have that and Ijust never told you?
I mean cool.

Alex (38:16):
It's a choice.

Luke (38:18):
It's a choice.

Alex (38:21):
All right.
My number one, bro.
I got that Luigi Love, but hecame in at five.
My number one goes to my boyBowser.

Luke (38:29):
Yeah.

Alex (38:30):
You knew it was coming.
Why didn't you speak to it?
Like Bowser's king.
King Bowser, man.

Luke (38:38):
Is there anything I didn't mention that you're just like,
man, you're not even puttingrespect on Bowser's name right
now?

Alex (38:44):
He's just like this, he's just like the perfect baddie,
you know, because he's not he'slike bad, but he's not evil.
You know, he's like he's kindof author to Mario's side.
Like he's in this, I mean, thatkind of depends on the
scenario, I guess.
But depends how you feel aboutfucking genocide.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
But uh in in terms of the Mariouniverse, though, you know,
he's like, uh, I like wellearly, you know, I've been

(39:07):
mentioning I like to play my Ilike to main heavies and things
like Smash.
Uh I'll even mess with Bowserand Kart, even though I usually
go for more of like amiddleweight character.
But he's gonna be fun once youstart, once you start getting
that speed up.
Bowser's like, dude, he's justhe's the man.
Like he's uh he's Mario'snumber one number one enemy.
Dude, the Jack Black, like JackBlack like elevated the shit

(39:30):
out of Bowser as well.
Like I was already into Bowser.
Like you brought you brought upvia some of the other
characters just how fun he is inlike in the in like the Mario
RPGs, the paper Mario's.
Like he's just like this,especially the paper Mario's
dude.
Like, I really like hispresence in the paper Mario.
He's like kind of like this, Idon't know, no, it's just like a
whiny whiny brat.
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
Yeah, it's just funny.

Luke (39:51):
Uh his outfit in Mario Golf, dude, Guy Fieti Bowser.

Alex (39:54):
Dude, killer.
Uh huge fan of that.
He's my main in Mario Golf forsure.
Um, he's also good at Mariotennis, dude.
So it's uh it's Bowser.
King Bowser, dude.
He's also got a mess of kids.
I think that's hilarious.
At least one you say, but Idon't know.
I think all those other onesmight be his children as well.

Luke (40:15):
Fair.

Alex (40:16):
And he I will say the one knocking as Bowser, he's still
he's still a king, he's stillnumber one, but he he does need
to lay off peach a little bit.
Like clearly not working outfor him.
He's a little obsessive.
Yeah, he's like, come on, bro.
But I would I would say toothat like I already was into I
was already into Bowser.
And I think with the Mariomovie, dude, Jack Black, like
I've always been a fan of JackBlack too, and like he's like

(40:37):
become such this big thing thatlike it's borderline, like you
feel a little hipster, you'relike, I don't like Jack Black
because he's too cool.
But it's like nah dude, thedude's just too cool.
Never wavered on my love forJack Black.
Same, same.
So, but I mean that's what I'msaying.
But he's gotten so big,especially with the Minecraft
movie now.
But people find that annoying.

Luke (40:53):
I'm here for that energy.
Yeah, it's sometimes peopleneed to be annoying for the
kids.

Alex (40:57):
Yeah, I'm I I can dig it, dude.
I think he's a great Bowser.
I look forward to himcontinuing to do Bowser,
hopefully.
But yeah, Bowser.
He's the next one.
Jack Black?

Luke (41:11):
Oh god.
He could be that old drunk guy.
For sure.

Alex (41:19):
Let's list, man.
So I've got I've got my number,my number five, Luigi, four,
Wario, DK, Yoshi, Bowser.

Luke (41:28):
DK Peach Bowser, Captain Toad, Luigi.
Nice.
My king.
Right on.

Alex (41:35):
I can dig it.
Now what we gotta do is wegotta get that mess of, we gotta
like set up a super smashtournament and have the
computers just play each otherwith our with our pools and see
who wins.
So I bet there's no toad.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I guess you I guess you're at ahandicap, bro.

Luke (41:53):
Yeah, I know.

Alex (41:53):
I'll have to have two Luigi's.
Well, cool.
That's a fun list, man.
Let's take a little break.
You fuck with crystals, dude?
No, not at all.
Hate them.
Hate him?
Oh, dude, you're gonna hatethis then.
Because this month we areunofficially brought to you in

(42:15):
part by Crystals.

Luke (42:18):
This guy goes to California and he comes back at
Crystal Bro.
What's happening, dude?
Dude, I'm for sure.
Goes to Joshua Tree and hecomes back and he's like, Have
you heard about crystals,brother?
What's happening here?

Alex (42:27):
100%.
Dude, I recently not exactly.
I wouldn't say it's because ofJoshua Tree, but I was like, I
went down the rabbit hole.
One of my buddies is reallyinto a certain like stone
crystal thing.
I've never, I never nah, it's adifferent dude in Tom.
Multiple friends, I couldassume would be into crystals
continuing.
But, anyways, uh, but he talksabout this certain like crystal

(42:51):
or like you know, it's called uhMoldavite, I believe.
And then you know, if for thoselistening, you can look it up
if you want, but Moldavite likebasically has this energy to it
that's supposed to be reallylike life shifting, but it
becomes it has like a duality toit.
So like good things can comefrom Moldavite, and it can be
really like uh like crazyupheaval.

(43:11):
Kind of, bro, kind of so, buthere's the deal though, is like
really bad things can happenlike because of this energy as
well.
So that's like I just don'twant to do like I'm not like a
crit I'm not like falling on thecrystal like woo-woo stuff, but
like here's the deal.
I grew up Catholic, so like youknow, like I obviously believe
in the hope for mid questioner.
Finally, you're gonna talk tome about fucking crystals.

(43:32):
But like kinda.
I don't have any multivites, soI bring up multivite because it
has this like it has thispotential for like this upheaval
that it can cause like to benegative.
And like I don't I'm not herefor that, dude.

(43:53):
Like, I don't want to bringanything into my house that
could potentially bring negativeenergy to my life.
Like, that's the exact oppositeof what I'm looking for.
But I've been getting backinto, and maybe the true say
unstation sponsor of this shouldbe meditation and journaling.
But that's not fun.
Why couldn't I?
But that's that's not fun atall.
I've been trying to do dailyjournals and trying to meditate.
It's been really great for mylike my mental health and like

(44:16):
just kind of like getting um Idon't know, my my work day going
and just getting like kind ofon track and like in a in a
good, you know, in a good likecreative space, right?
And a good just like goodworkflow.
Uh, but here's the deal likeI'm also like I'll relate this
slightly to video games.
You're not gonna catch me outhere having a bunch of fun times
buying a bunch of digitalgames.

(44:37):
Yes, I buy digital games, ofcourse.
I got a whole mess of them, butI prefer to have you know a
shelf with all my Switch gameson it.
I prefer to buy physical.
So I've been kind of bummedwhen I hear about like all these
third-party Nintendo Switch 2games coming with their physical
copy and just being likebasically download keys.
Uh that's just whack.

(44:58):
Neither here nor there becausewe are not being unsanctioned
sponsored by Nintendo.
But uh, they don't have tobudget, dude.
Haven't you heard?
Yeah.
What's that?
They don't have to budget,dude.
Haven't you heard?
To to to uh to sponsor us,unsanged sponsor us, yeah.

Luke (45:14):
Just making fun of them for charging insane amounts and
then not even physical gamesanymore for their clearly
dedicated stupid fanboy base.
I bought all these physicalgames on the Switch, so they
would have had me, but if I geta Switch 2, I'm going all
digital.

Alex (45:29):
Ah, word.
Yeah, I will I'll do firstparty physical still.
As long as the game as long asthere's a download on it.
What?
Even if it's just a code, I'mnot gonna do it.
Yeah, but uh but that's neitherhere nor there, because I want
to talk to you about Citrine,dude.
So I've got my I got myselfsome citrine, which is a
crystal.

Luke (45:45):
Do you have a second follow-up crystal mention?

Alex (45:47):
Yeah, dude.
The reason that I wanted to getthe reason I brought up
Moldavite is to tell you how Ilike started the rabbit hole of
thinking about this stuff.
Because and the reason I bringup the physical stuff is because
I've been doing this meditatingand I've been doing the
journaling.
The meditating thing could be alittle like it it it bugs me
sometimes because I'm like,what?
I'm just like breathing andlike I don't know, and I I get

(46:08):
that's part of it, it's part ofthe practice.
Chaotic of a brain orsomething, maybe it's been
getting better, it's a thingthat you gotta do over time.
It's just practice or whatever,you know.
For sure.
But like to give myselfintention, I was like, well, it
might be nice to have somethingphysical that I can like give
myself intention to thismeditation, hence the crystals,
right?
I wanted to bring some of that,uh I wanted to start to channel

(46:30):
some of that energy into aphysical aspect, hence the
crystals, right?
So like I found citrine, andcitrine's cool because it has
all that positive energy thatthat is like, yeah, dude, I
don't know if this woo-woo shitworks, but I'm cool with having
some citrine in my room in myoffice, and like moldabite kind
of scares me a little bit.

Luke (46:48):
I mean all those powerful uh entities, you know.

Alex (46:52):
Indeed.
So, like, but sit, but citrineis cool, man, because it like it
it brings it's supposed tobring abundance, it's supposed
to bring creativity, it'ssupposed to do all these things.
And I'm like, here's the deal Ididn't like buy citrine and
expect to like have all thisshit just happen.
Like, that's not my that's nothow this thing works.

Luke (47:08):
Drinking on pasteurized raw milk too, my dude.

Alex (47:11):
It's cool, but it's for sure.
But what I like about it islike it gives me a physical
manifestation of what I'm tryingto project into my meditation,
right?
So with the whole idea with whyI'm meditating is like, okay, I
want to like be better about mycreative work, I want to be
more like better aboutprocrastination, I want to be
better about these things, uh,which is fine.

(47:33):
But now I have like a littlephysical reminder because I got
a little citrine on my ledgethat like charges in the sun,
because that's important too.
But dude, so I'd be so youknow, but uh and then I can hold
it too.
I can hold it when I meditate,and it gives me I'm able to uh
I'm able to uh asking for afriend, dude.

(47:54):
Just maybe you probably findsome crystals for that.
But I'm not here for that,dude.
I'm not here for the full oncrystal game.
I'm just here for like if ithas a woo-woo side effects, like
if whatever it's got a littlemagic to it, like cool.
Like that's a nice littlebyproduct.
Uh, but for me, it gives me aphysical, and that's why I
brought up the video game thing,you know, because I'm just the
type of person that likes tohave like that physical presence
of something.
Uh, and then for this, likeadding it to my meditation, it's

(48:16):
nice because it's been able touh give me a little bit of uh
like uh more intention to mymeditation or whatever and more
direction.
So, and you know, if all of asudden like I become the most
creative, powerful uh but man ofabundance in the world, it's
probably because of the citrineon my windowsill.
Wow, I've you know you'veleveled up.

(48:37):
I bet you didn't expect that.
That was a hard sponsor tobring in.
Nope.
But uh, you know, that tooksome here for it, here for it.
Okay, not taking any of theirmoney because they're they're
you know, it's a rock, but whatare you gonna do?
The rock makes a lot of money.
I mean the wrestler, dude.
Yeah, it's bad.

Luke (48:57):
You're talking about crystals.
I can't give you dad jokes.
You sure can.
Fuck not.
All right, crystal meth broughtto you by Crystal Math.
All right.
Hell's only crystal.

Alex (49:13):
You've been side questioned, bro?

Luke (49:15):
Yeah, just the chronicles of one particularly not great
gamer playing Elden Ring.
And I think right after we lasttalked, I wouldn't call it a
breakthrough.
I just realized how likeplaying with uh summons works,
and have just now immersedmyself in the great debate
between the sweatiest communityof all time, and that's saying
something I've been a part of,or at least lurked in a lot of

(49:37):
sweaty communities, but onlinespeaking.
Uh you can get summons, and somany people are like so
puritanical about summons, andthen specifically within
summons, you can have a mimic.
It's uh you summon yourself,it's a mimic of you, right?
Oh wow, okay.
And then you level them up.
So there's this uh dual uhgargoyle boss fight that was

(49:58):
just this biggest roadblock forme for the longest time.
Like I almost quit the gamebecause I like went to three
different areas and I kepthitting these different
roadblocks, and I was sofrustrated.
I like gave it a few days, Icame back, I got through the
other stuff, but I could notbeat the um gargoyles.
And one, they're a bitch, two,they're a bitch, three, there's
two of them, and it's just soannoying.

(50:19):
And they're like super aggro,they have this wide area poison
attack.
Uh trust me, I found everypiece of literature talking
about how shitty this fight is,because I was just sad and I was
looking it up trying to figureout how to do it.
And long story short, is thatI'm like a Dex arcane bleed
build, which is whatever, right?
It's a playstyle, but that'sreally bad against these guys,

(50:40):
so I made it like extra tough.
And I did the mimic and I justlike wiped the floor with them.
And I told my homie at school,who's my little eighth-grade
nerd, who tells me how to dostuff, and we talk about the
game, and it's almost like helearned that his heroes are all
garbage when I told him I used amimic.
He was so bummed.
Oh no, it was hilarious.

(51:00):
And I was like, what, dude?
So like that's just it was justended up being fun to argue
about.
And then I saw like all thesearguments online afterwards
about like I wasn't looking forit, it's just you know,
sometimes when something's beenbrought to your turn you know
you start to see it more, youknow.
But I saw I saw people arguingabout it and they're like, the
game is built with these,therefore the game is

(51:23):
technically balanced for you touse the summons.
And they're like, if you refuseto use the things the games
give you, you were playing on amodified difficulty, and then
people get all mad about that.
So uh it's the weirdest gameever.
I think I'm very solidly I'mgonna give it a I'm gonna cheat.
I'm gonna give it a nine pointfive or a four point or seven

(51:44):
five if you like to use yourfive scale.
Because I love it.
I think about it a lot.
I've had some of the coolestencounters and the coolest
enemies and some of the coolestfights and the coolest feelings.
But a game you can't pauseneeds to be dinged somewhere.
No quest log or anything tokeep track of what the hell's
going on ever without using theinternet forty times.
It just needs to be dingedsomehow.

(52:06):
So small stupid shit like thatstacks up to me.
But other than that, dude, likethe legacy dungeons and the
environmental, like just likevibes of that game are so cool.
Like the art's crazy and thedifferent things you run into
all the time.
I like frequently dork outabout how cool something is.
So uh it's taking me forever.

(52:26):
I would have beaten most othergames, but this game's just hard
as balls, and I can't play itfor too many hours in a row
because it just gets toofrustrating.
Sure.
But then I'm thinking it'spretty cool that uh I picked up
Doom Eternal.
And that is a nice littlepalette cleanser.
Uh I wouldn't call it easy.
And I'm sure as I get into thegame, maybe I'll run into a
roadblock and it won't be a funtrades off sees vibe because

(52:49):
that'll just turn difficult onme.
But for right now, I just likerun and gun and listening to
Mezzle music, just rippingdemons apart, dude.
Right on.

Alex (52:58):
Doom is cool.
I guess I'm not surprised.
I'm I'm glad, I guess, that youare continuing your Elden Ring
journey.
I've I've fallen off.
I haven't I haven't gottenback.
That's so good, dude.
It's like Zelda.

Luke (53:08):
I keep coming back to that.
It's like Zelda, it's like someof the best stuff of Zelda and
Skyrim put together, and a lotof the stuff I don't like about
those games taken away and thenits own weird Elden Ringy shit.
Or I should say from softy shitkind of thrown in there.
So it's sick, dude.

Alex (53:25):
Yeah, I've just I've just fallen off like I'm in a I'm in
a weird gaming rut almost.
It's like uh the it's reallyhard for me to to go full full
sand on anything that likecommands that kind of time.

Luke (53:36):
Yeah, I've been watching TV shows and reading books and
stuff, so it's been a little bitof a little bit of and then NBA
playoffs for both of us as faras like if you only got so many
times to video game.

Alex (53:52):
And a good vibe, but you get the point.
Yeah, NBA playoffs have been auh major side quest for me this
past month.
Uh I've been all in, obviously,on the Timberwolves watching
all those games.
I've even watched a handful oflike the uh the Nick Celtic
series, uh like catching some ofthe Pacers Cavaliers, which um
I mean it won't be a spoiler toanybody listening to this on the

(54:14):
15th, but they just won theseries.
The uh the Pacers did.

Luke (54:17):
Oh, just now?

Alex (54:18):
Yep, so they just went up four or one.

Luke (54:20):
Oh, okay.

Alex (54:21):
Uh over the Cavaliers, which is a bit of an upset, but
you know, that happens.
It's the NBA.
It's also the playoffs, youknow, for those that are keyed
in, the injuries too.
Yeah, I know a lot of peopleare upset.
And I'm I mean, I'm upset toothat Steph got hurt first game
against the Timberwolves.
But um, I don't know.
You look through history, dude,and that happens.
Uh it's it's not it's notideal.

(54:44):
Um, sounds like uh uh you know,for the Celtics, Tatum pulled
uh or his Tor is Achilles, whichis which is not great.

Luke (54:51):
I think that's not the worst injury in sports to this
day.

Alex (54:54):
Dude, it's he's gonna be down and up for a long time.
That's a bummer, a big setbackfor the careers back in the day.
Dude, for sure.
Not anybody, but it did.
So he'll be out for probably agood chunk of the beginning of
the season, I bet, if not thewhole season next year.

Luke (55:07):
He'll be out all next year.
Yeah, it's a year-long deal.
Yeah, that's tough, dude.

Alex (55:13):
Um they got a good team.
Otherwise, like, I mean, like,but he is kind of I mean, he is
he's a big deal with for them.
But uh it's crazy, dude.

Luke (55:20):
Like, they don't know how much their team's gonna cost
together as currentlyconstructed next year.
Sure, if you know.
500 million dollars, so that'llbe a different team next year.
Word.
That's insane.
That's the highest.
That is wild.
Yeah, with the luxury tax andall that, they're a $500 million
team next year, so they will bedifferent.

Alex (55:37):
Yeah, they probably could uh justify that if they got
another chip, but I don'tdoesn't look like that's gonna
happen.
I think the Knicks are gonnapull ahead.
I mean, they already have up3-1.
They will.
Yeah.
Uh, but it's been fun, dude.
The Timberwolves been scrappy.
Um, it's always you know how itgoes.
You're you're a fan as well, soit's like it's always uh very
anxiety inducing.
Like, what's going on?

(55:57):
Why are you playing so sloppy?
What have we been doing?

Luke (55:59):
Especially the golden era of Timberwolves basketball.
Metrically speaking, we've onlywon two other playoff series
ever before last year.
So it combined this year andlast year.
That's the longest successfulstreak of all time that we've
ever had.
So this is truly the golden eraof 30-ish years of Timberwolves
basketball.
This is it, Doc.

Alex (56:19):
It's fun.
A lot of people getting on theant train, dude.
Uh, he's such a fun characterto like to watch play.
And then it's like his hispersonality is just like it's
it's it's wild, dude.
And it's like it's I'm so gladthat he did the Olympics last
year, dude, because I thinkthat's what put him over the
top.
Like it definitely pushed himto become a three-point shooter,
hanging out with Steph, hangingout with LeBron.
Even when they lost to uh whenLeBron lost to uh the

(56:40):
Timberwolves, LeBron and Lukeand everybody else, low Lakers,
I guess.
Uh, you know, LeBron comes upand he was like, take the next,
you know, bring it to the nextlevel, dude.
He's like they all the all theold heads like want to see this,
or all the like players, theOGs, like want to see this boy
succeed, and that's exciting,especially as a as a Minnesota
fan.

Luke (56:57):
How do you think the NBA feels about their potentials for
the finals being Denver,Minnesota, Oklahoma City,
Indianapolis?
Dude, hilarious.
Before the Cleveland gettingknocked out, but that just adds
to it, yeah, Cleveland.
So it's like uh you, especiallyif the Knicks don't make it,

(57:21):
you will hear people complainingabout the finals not being
entertaining because peopledon't like the big cities.
But if you like ball, these areall cool teams.

Alex (57:29):
Dude, 100%.
Uh I'm into it, dude.
All those Midwest teams, I loveit.
I mean, we're from the Midwest,so there's that.
But um, you know, that's a lotof basketball to be watching.
I I key in pretty hard on theTimberwolves games, but some of
those other, like some of theother stuff, like I'll I'll go
in and out.
Um, and I'm playing a lot ofMario Golf on the 3Dth golf
games, dude.
Golf games have been funbecause I tried to do like a
couple RPGs, like I was uhbecause I was really like had a

(57:52):
good run on Final Fantasy for awhile.
I was doing Pokemon.
I've talked about those on thepod.
Uh those are still fun to fireup and like edge up a little bit
more or whatever.
But dude, the golf games aregreat.
I've been playing uh hotshots,like hotshots golf on the PSP,
uh Super Mario Golf on the the3DS, and it's just so nice to do
a little handheld golf becauseit's it's you can just like you

(58:13):
know, commercial, which likedoes it.

Luke (58:15):
Arcade style golf is unmatched in video games.
It's so it's great, yeah.

Alex (58:20):
It's great.
I love that you're not like ona timer or anything either.
So, like, you know, you youtake your shot, like the game
comes back on, you just set itdown, pick it back up when uh
when you know either a slow partof the game or um or if you're
on a commercial break or someshit, just like it's been a nice
companion.
Hell yeah.
You should play some slay thespire.
Slay would be good too.
That's not a bad idea.

(58:40):
I did think about that theother day.
That's another one, uh, anothergood pickup and and play while
you're watching some otherstuff.
Otherwise, dude, just beenlike, you know, it's uh it's
basically, I mean, it's stillofficially spraying, but
summertime, feeling likesummertime here in Mini, doing
yard work, hanging out in thebackyard and stuff's great.
You know, just being a dad,dude.
Um uh Elton's at an age nowwhere it's just like, I mean,

(59:02):
it's always fun, but um, he'sgot his personality, he's
running around doing his stuff,and it's just like it's it's a
cool, cool pocket to be in,dude.
It's funny.

Luke (59:09):
I'm definitely living my old man life these days, you
know, like fucking yard work,watching basketball, hanging out
with my kid, like just man thatreturns to his den to cluh to
look at his basketball tradingcard shrine.

Alex (59:23):
Oh, dude, I got that shit too.
I got the I got my Tim Worldshrine for the playoffs rocket.
I like picked out a bunch ofthat, I got the whole lineup,
dude.
I showed you that video, I gotthe whole the whole lineup.

Luke (59:32):
Elton, you must not touch these cards, they are not for
play.

Alex (59:36):
Get out of here.

Luke (59:37):
You're the Lego dad, dude.
You're the Lego movie dad.

Alex (59:39):
Look out of here.
Elton's like he's like 19, 18months old.
Like, of course he's not gonnabe messing with my cards.
Uh someday we'll do it.
Oh, I didn't even say thisduring the Mario stuff, but
yeah, Elton says Mario.
Mario.
He goes, Mario, or whatever.
It's so funny, he sighs realhard.
But he's got uh he's got somelike Mario, like he's got like a
Mario Kart pajamas.
He gets he knows him, dude.

(01:00:00):
And I've got like Amoebas out,and he'll come into my office
and he'll like point at the Dr.
Mario and be like, Mario.
That's what it's like.

Luke (01:00:07):
Mario's a good recognizable character for kids.
Uh, have you watched Coobiewith him?

Alex (01:00:11):
That was like the first movie the boys ever watched.
We we haven't.
He watches a lot of Toy Story.
Um, when we do watch a movie,it's usually one of the Toy
Story movies.
We started the Mario movie, butbecause it like it like has
kind of an intense beginningscene, it's not like super
intense as an adult.
Murder.
My boy Bowser coming in strong,you know, taking over that

(01:00:32):
castle.
So so my wife he was like, justtoo violent, we gotta stop.
And I'm like, oh whatever.
Yeah, just watch Toy Story.
It'll be all right.
It's a it's okay.
You gotta pick your battles,you know what I'm saying?
No doubt.
No doubt.
So it's like whatever, we'lljust do something else.
It's fine.
But yeah, no, he has not, hehas not yet, so I'm excited to
to watch that with him.
I'm trying to think of them.
No, there's some other games inside quests I've done a little

(01:00:54):
little spurts here and there.

Luke (01:00:55):
Yeah, Star Wars Outlaws, probably at least an hour or.
There, yeah.

Alex (01:00:57):
Ah, that's true.
I I did get a nice chunk ofoutlaws in, dude.
Uh and that's a cool game, man.
I didn't like totally payattention to the discourse on
like why people are shitting onit so much.
But I had uh, like I wastelling you, like at the
beginning of of uh side questhere, I've been in like a bit of
a gaming rut.
Uh just like nothing reallylike had its hooks in me.
And then uh, you know, I'vebeen tinkering and playing
around with like my PS3 and likesome retro stuff and have a lot

(01:01:19):
in my Wii and stuff, like wasreally having a fun time
dabbling just in old games.
And I fired up, I think it wasBrotherhood um for the PS3.
And like, dude, there'ssomething about that.

Luke (01:01:30):
Yeah, okay.

Alex (01:01:30):
Yeah, um, there's just something about that old format
of Assassin's Creed that it waslike, I was like, this is tight.
This is really like I'menjoying this quite a bit.
But then, like a couple nights,you know, I got it a good, you
know, like a couple hours intothat, and then a couple nights
later, I was like, Well, I gotMirage.
Why don't I like check outMirage again now that I've had a
little bit of this flavor?
So I started messing aroundwith Mirage, and I was having a

(01:01:52):
good time with it, but it wasn'tlike it was like, you know, I
think um it didn't like have itshooks in me, like I didn't
really care where the story wasgoing with Mirage, if that makes
sense.
Yeah, but then I got and thenuh you know I got my deco deals
thing set up, and uh, all of asudden Star Wars Outlaws went on
a super sale for like 20 bucksor something.
I was like, I'm gonna send itfinally.
So I got it.

(01:02:13):
Physical copy, dude.
First time I bought a physicalcopy of anything, the disc was
corrupt.
I mean, the physical I buyphysical all the time.
First time I've ever boughtphysical and it didn't work.

Luke (01:02:22):
For which game?

Alex (01:02:24):
Outlaws.
So I bought outlaws because itwent on super sale.
Yeah, but um that's weird.
I know I'm kind of all over theplace because uh what I'm
driving towards here that's Iended up returning it and
getting another copy, but I putit in and I was playing it, and
I was like, dude, this is likeAssassin Creed Star Wars.
This is kind of dope.

Luke (01:02:39):
What I heard was it was really cool is like the
environments, like there's likelike someone pointed to like a
furry wall, which like just likethe textures and the level of
care, like that's pretty kind of70s techno aesthetic or
whatever they call it, 70s spaceaesthetic is is cool.
So that interested me, butrunning around Baghdad, dude,

(01:03:00):
and Assassin's Creed Mirage.
Next time I see you, you shouldbring that over.
If you don't plan on playing, Imight give it a stab.

Alex (01:03:08):
Um I don't care.
I just want to do a historicalmurder uh simulator.
Fair enough.
That's kind of what the StarWars thing is, too.
And then I started playingthat, and then the playoffs
started heating up a little bit,so I was like, all right.
I guess I'm not doing all mygame, I'll be playing some golf.

Luke (01:03:24):
I feel that.

Alex (01:03:25):
Slay this.
But uh try her out.
I I know Slay, but it'swatching the rotation.
Yeah, I can't wait for thesecond one to come out.
Right on.
Well, this has been a fun one,man.
Fun to do the first low fivetop five.
Solid the list audio, solidside question.
Thanks y'all for listening.
Go Louis next time.

Luke (01:03:43):
Woohoo! Woohoo.
It's Mario, which you get thebet.