July 11, 2025 • 48 mins
We are thrilled to present three superhero horror stories.
Interminable was written by Warren Benedetto and performed by Mike Macera.
Heffalumps and Ozzles was written by Nikki Blakey and performed by Sara Luke, follow Sara on IG at @saraluke25.
The Undertaker was written and performed by Denali Bartell.
Join the discussion on Discord. Check out Abby's book Horror Stories. Available in eBook and paperback. Music by Michaela Papa, Alan Kudan & Jordan Moser. Poster Art by Pilar Keprta @pilar.kep.
Join our discord for more information on Horror Book Club.
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Join the conversation on Discord. Support us on Patreon.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode
of the Lunatics Radio Hourpodcast.
My name is Abbey Brinker and Iam sitting here with Alan Kudan.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And today we are so excited to have another Lunatics
Library episode, this timefeaturing three terrifying,
quite dark superhero horrorstories.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm very excited.
As we know, I do enjoy a goodsuperhero horror story.
Before we jump into the stories, I do want to say because, like
you know, this feels very muchlike listening to audiobooks yes
, and while, like you know,editing these to get ready to
listen to it reminded me thatI've actually listened to an
entire book series aboutsuperhero horror.
Tell us more that we have notyet addressed on this episode.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What a glaring omission.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I know I'm sorry I have talked about it on this
podcast, because I talk aboutonly the same five things again
and again.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Diablo.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Diablo Godzilla.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
What's the series?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
This series is called X Heroes by Peter Clines.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I remember you talking about this.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Go ahead and explain then.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It's like X-Men, right, or there's like a school,
and they all have powers.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Not even close.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You're thinking, you really got thrown by the expert.
Yeah, go ahead.
Why don't you explain it?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
it's x here because ex-heroes it's.
It's your ex-partners formerheroes former lovers honestly
that's a common issue withsuperhero stuff is just horrible
.
Horrible naming conventionswhen done for novels Inside the
Marvel or DC or actually comicspace.
Most of the clever superheronames or teams or overall
(01:53):
franchises or not franchises butsuperhero organizations these
monoliths of Marvel and DC havebeen coming up with these exact
things for going on 100 yearsnow, and so the good ones are
already taken and so a lot ofthese things like just get
really stupid names for no otherreason of like.
Instead of a think tank, it'sjust one guy writing his book.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, so tell us about X.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Anyways, x Heroes the name comes from the title X
Humans, because that's theirname for zombies, and this is a
zombie apocalypse set in asuperhero universe.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It's very cool.
I highly highly recommend thisseries to anyone that likes.
We talked about it on thezombies episode.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Anyone who likes, well, zombie, horror or
superhero stories and I happento like both.
Obviously, the zombie part isthe horror part, but it also
brings up some really goodquestions that lean into the
darker aspects of superheroes.
You have these abilities thatno one is supposed to have in
(02:54):
the natural order of things, andif someone has the ability to
create super-powered diseases,well, what if one of them
launches?
This is the zombie apocalypse.
Right and so through theactions of you know, I'm not
giving any spoilers here, so I'mnot going to get into any, uh,
specifics.
But like, what if someone'ssuperpowers bring on the zombie
(03:15):
apocalypse?
That's right, that's pretty bad.
It's a long book series.
It's like five or six books, Ithink, and it's it's a lot of
fun.
It's so interesting that thisis also by Peter Clines.
This is such a departure fromhis later works.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What I don't know him .
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I know him mostly from the Threshold series.
It's half cosmic horror, halflike Scooby-Doo it out.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
All right, great.
So without further ado, let'shop into the stories.
But I will say at least two ofthe three stories I'm going to
have a pretty strong contentwarning on.
So we're going to start withone of those stories.
I would say content warninghere for discussion mention of
self-harm, nothing incrediblygraphic, but it is part of it.
So I'm just going to put thatout there.
(03:55):
But let's roll the tape.
Intervenable.
Written by Warren Benedetto RedBarn White Serum.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
I'm sorry.
The doctor said.
He closed the folder containingmy test results.
There's nothing we can do.
My voice shook as I spoke,you're you're sure do.
My voice shook as I spoke,you're sure.
I scanned the doctor's office asif searching for some
undiscovered cure for myaffliction.
Can't you give me something?
A shot, some pills, anything?
(04:36):
I'm afraid not.
He removed his glasses,polished them then returned them
to his nose, polish them thenreturn them to his nose.
Our options are limitedethically, I'm sure you
understand.
I nodded, wiping at thedampness under my eyes.
How much longer do I have?
I wish I could say.
As I stared down at my hands, Isensed the doctor's gaze shift
(05:00):
to the razor-thin scars runningdown my forearms and across my
wrists.
I looked up at him.
He quickly averted his eyes.
Can I have a minute?
I asked, alone, of course.
Take as much time as you need.
Once he was gone, I buried myface in my hands and allowed
(05:20):
myself to cry.
I had gotten exactly the answerI was expecting, but that
didn't make it any easier tohear.
It meant my suffering had onlyjust begun.
Take as much time as you need,he said, as if I needed more
time instead of less.
The sooner I could end it allthe better.
The sheer idiocy of humankindhad sapped my will to live.
(05:44):
At first I had tried to savethem, fighting crime, stopping
wars, but I was powerless tohalt their inevitable
self-destruction.
I watched helplessly as theygorged on lies, ravenous for the
empty satisfaction of hearingtheir own distorted fears
shouted back at them only louderand meaner.
(06:04):
They were sick, diseased.
Their narcissism was a cancer.
Their ignorance was a blight.
It destroyed their capacity forempathy, leaving nothing but
infected abscesses dripping withspite.
There was no treatment, no cure.
The condition was terminal.
Civilization was dying, onepointless cruelty at a time.
(06:27):
I had failed.
The solution seemed simple Iwould take my own life.
But no, no such relief waspossible, not for me.
I was different, special, aquote-unquote superhero.
I ran my fingers along my jaw,tracing the dimpled flesh where
(06:48):
the self-inflicted shotgun blasthad ricocheted harmlessly off
my face, then let them wanderdown to the rippled scar the
noose had left around my neck.
God damn it.
I thought Nothing had worked.
No matter how many times Itried, I simply could not die.
In delivering the bad news, thedoctor had confirmed what I
(07:10):
already knew that I was somehow,impossibly, inescapably
immortal.
I peered out the window to thestreet below.
I was on the 17th floor of CityHospital.
It wasn't the highest floor,but I prayed that it was high
enough.
I lifted the sash, climbed outonto the ledge and jumped.
(07:33):
It's worth a try, I thought asI plummeted headlong towards the
rain-slicked sidewalk.
What's the worst that couldhappen?
But I already knew the answer Icould live.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I love this story so much because, I mean, first of
all, it's by our friend, warrenBenedetto, who I feel like is so
talented but it does such agood job at evoking this very
specific and very dark emotionin like less than four pages.
And I think Warren's so good atcreating these worlds and
typically his stories are alittle bit longer than this, but
it was really cool to see thesame world building, I guess
(08:14):
with such a minimal style ofstorytelling, and I feel like he
was equally as successful withthis format.
And I also love this storybecause so much of obviously,
what we're looking at in thisseries is the intersection of
horror and superhero content,and this is exactly that right,
it raises that question and itreminds me, alan, of something
that you brought just outlive,right, you can't die and you
(08:46):
live so long that nothing isleft for you, and it reminded me
of that right.
So it's horrifying in the shortterm that this guy has to live
in this way, that he doesn'twant to, but then think about,
like in a hundred years from nowor in a thousand years from now
, and that's, I think, reallywhere the horror is.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So this is a trope that's been broached a number of
times in comics.
Yeah, it's, it's a.
It's really just turnsinvulnerability on its head.
This isn't a vulnerability,this is immortality.
Really, the ability to be ableto heal from any injury seems
like such a blessing.
Except what if you want to die?
One of the main superheroesthat comes to mind is going to
be Wolverine.
Is what if you want to die?
(09:31):
One of the main superheroesthat comes to mind is going to
be Wolverine.
Is he immortal?
He's not immortal, but he'shundreds of years old, because
his healing factor also repairsthe damage done by aging.
The most established death ofWolverine story was actually
adapted for the Logan moviewhere the only reason that he
dies is because he hasadamantium poisoning, so like
the metal in his boneseventually poisons him and he
dies is because he hasadamantium poisoning, so like
the metal in his boneseventually poisons him and he
dies.
But without the metal hishealing factor goes crazy and
you know he can effectively liveforever his kryptonite then no,
(09:52):
because it's just double-edgedsword.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
But isn't that?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
kryptonite is like the weak, the one weakness for
superman, yeah no, I mean,wolverine is not invulnerable.
He still gets hurt.
And there's another death inDays of Future Past when he just
gets blasted by a giant laserand just every little bit of him
gets crispy, so he's dead.
But another great example of asuperhero that just wants to die
is my personal favorite of Hulk.
(10:15):
You know, and they even talkabout this in the Avengers movie
.
Bruce Banner says they point agun at him when he gets, all you
know, no-transcript upon death.
At best he awakens the HulkRight.
(10:37):
So it just doesn't work.
He wants to die, he wants tostop hurting people, but he
can't.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, it's so tragic in such an unexpected way, but
it makes total sense for, kindof, the mechanics of a lot of
these stories.
So Warren Benedetto writes darkfiction about horrible people,
horrible places and horriblethings.
He's an award-winning authorand we are mega fans of his work
.
He has published over 260stories.
(11:01):
For more, I encourage you tovisit warrenbenedettocom, which
we will link in the descriptionof this episode.
You can also follow him atwarrenbenedetto on Twitter and
Instagram.
And, of course, this story wasperformed for us by the
incredible narrator, mikeMassera, who is one half of
Beach Therapy, one of ourfavorite bands.
So, mike, thank you so much forbringing this story to life in
(11:25):
such a beautiful way as youalways do.
This was a great duo.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Thank you Mike, thank you Warren.
Please work together again.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Before we roll the tape on the next one, I'm also
going to give a content warningon this story.
This story centers a bit aroundchild abuse and it's about 15
minutes long, so if you'd liketo skip ahead and miss this one,
15 minutes ahead will get youpast it.
Speaker 6 (12:12):
Heffalumps and Oozles , read by Nikki Blakely.
Read by Sarah Luke, let out ascreeching wail oh my boy, my
boy, whatever will I do withoutmy boy?
Yeah, yeah, do it.
Just like that, said the Oozlenamed Carl.
Maybe throw in something abouthow much you love him.
Gina began wailing again oh myboy, my boy, I do love him.
So Please find him and bringhim home safe.
(12:32):
Her pudgy pink hand reached upand gave her nose another light
smack.
The boy she was fake cryingabout was David, though she
called him dipshit.
He'd run away the night before,and now Mrs Rabinowitz, the
foster care lady, was coming.
Sammy sat v-legged on the dirtycarpet with her back to them,
staring at the television wherecolored images flickered and
danced on the screens.
But she wasn't watching thecartoons.
(12:54):
Sometimes the screen woulddarken and she'd glimpse Gina
and Carl in the reflection.
It was them she was watching.
Hufflepuffs and Oozles werevery, very dangerous.
Pooh had told her, and she mustbe watched very, very carefully
.
And Pooh never lied.
Sammy clutched the stuffed beartoy tightly to her side and the
smaller piglet toy lay on thefloor in front of her.
(13:14):
The three of them watched andlistened.
It would be nice if you couldget another one like her.
Carl said, and Sammy could feelthe weight of his eyes on her.
She didn't like to be looked at.
Try to make yourself small,piglet said.
If you try to make yourselfsmall, no one will notice you.
Look how small I am.
No one ever notices me.
Piglet didn't lie either.
(13:34):
Sammy pulled her shouldersinward and tried to shrink
herself.
She really don't ever talk.
Carl asked Not a word, not apeep, except for the one time
she took to screaming when Itried to take those ugly old
dolls away from her.
You better believe I gave hersomething to scream about after
that.
She deaf Nah, she ain't deaf.
She can hear just fine.
She just don't talk.
(13:54):
Why you think that is?
I don't fucking know, carl.
Maybe she ain't got nothing tosay?
Who gives a shit?
Gina heaved herself from thesofa with a grunt and thumped
towards the kitchen.
Aren't you the one that gaveher that haircut?
Makes her look like a boy.
No, I did not give her thathaircut.
It was on her head when theyfirst brung her.
Now it's time for you to getthat.
(14:14):
Social service lady says she'scoming at 2, but she might show
up early.
They like to do that, thinkingthey're going to catch you at
something, and you know youain't allowed to be around
children, so you best be gonebefore she gets here.
If they don't give me anotherdipshit, I'm going to be out
$348 a month.
I told you it was an accident.
You just hope no one finds outabout your little accident.
If they do.
I don't know nothing about itNow, you, I don't know nothing
(14:36):
about it.
Now, get yourself gone.
Sammy was sad David had run awayand, even sadder, he hadn't
taken her with him.
They were a team, didn't he sayso?
And she had liked having abrother, even if it was just a
foster.
She remembered another brotheronce, a long time ago, but his
name wasn't David.
It was something that startedwith J, Johnny, joey, jerry.
(14:56):
She couldn't remember Jeremy,pooh said she remembered a
mother too, and a father Realones, not Foster's, but they
were just blurry thoughtswithout names or faces.
She thought her mother's hairhad been yellow like hers.
Oh yes, said Pooh, it wasyellow, the color of honey, and
(15:17):
she smelled like honey too.
There were a lot of things.
Sammy couldn't remember, mostof anything that happened before
the crash, but she was onlyfour then, and now she was six,
and maybe when she was seven andall grown up, she would
remember everything.
Some things are best notremembered, said Piglet and Pooh
agreed.
(15:38):
Sammy and David had shared abedroom, two stained mattresses
butted up against walls onopposite sides of the small room
, each with a thin blanket and aflattened pillow.
Above David's bed, coloredglossy pages torn from the
covers of comic books, theiredges ragged and curling, hung
scotch tape from the walls.
David was just a small boy butlooked like an old man, with
wispy brown hair combed over toone side and glasses with thick
(16:01):
lenses that made his eyes lookthree times as bigger than they
were.
On her first night there, davidhad caught Sammy staring
wide-eyed at the pictures tapedabove his bed A man with a sharp
jutting jaw, bulging musclesand pitch-black eyes from which
shafts of red light flowedoutward.
Next to him stood a boy with ahead shaped like a mushroom,
surrounded by an orangeincandescent glow.
(16:23):
That's Plutonium Joe and hissidekick Atom Bomb, said David.
They got their superpowers onaccount of an accident at a
nuclear power plant.
Before that, they were justtrusty workers doing their jobs,
and then one day, wham pow,nuclear explosion.
Now they can shoot radioactivelaser beams from their eyes Pew,
pew, pew and they kick withatomic force Bam, bam Bam.
(16:45):
David had tied the arms of alight blue hoodie around his
neck and hung it off his backlike a cape.
Plutonium Joe and Adam Bombfight for justice, freedom and
the safety of all.
They're the good guys and theyfight the bad guys.
David narrowed his eyes atSammy Are you a good guy?
She shrank back to the cornerof her bed and pulled the
blanket up around her neck.
I said, screamed, david, areyou a good guy?
(17:09):
Heavy footsteps thumped down thehallway and the door swung open
, slamming against the wall.
Gina's face was twisted in aknot of anger.
What the holy hell is going onin here?
Who's doing all that screaming?
I know it ain't that one.
She don't say squat, so it mustbe you dipshit.
Gina grabbed David by the elbow,dragged him over to the bed and
threw him down.
It's after seven.
(17:30):
That means bedtime.
I don't want to hear no morenoise out of you.
Not so much as a fart Got it.
Her large round face loomedinches from David's and he
nodded slowly.
If you need a pee, you use thebucket, and if it's the other,
you wait till morning.
Gina flicked the light off,pulled the door closed and they
heard the hard click of the lock.
David laid there staring at theceiling.
(17:52):
Sammy wondered if he might cry.
She would have.
It's okay if you can't talk.
David whispered, there's thingsI can't do either.
I can't run fast, I can't seegood, I always break things.
But you want to know a secret.
I'm special and maybe you'respecial too.
And if you're special it meansyou're one of the good guys,
(18:13):
just like me and Plutonium Joe.
My superhero name is David theDestroyer.
You can be my sidekick.
You're gonna need a superheroname.
He was quiet for a moment,thinking I know you can be Sammy
the Silent.
We're gonna need a secrethandshake.
As soon as Gina saw MrsRabinowitz's car pull into the
driveway, her pudgy pink handshot out and gave her nose a
(18:34):
soft smack and she began cryingand moaning, just as she had
practiced.
Oh my boy, where can he be?
Lord, please bring him homesafe and sound.
Miss Kirkland, are you okay?
May I come in?
Mrs Rabinowitz said through thedoor Course.
I ain't okay.
Gina wiped the fake tears fromher eyes.
My boy's gone and I'm besidemyself with grief and worry.
(18:56):
Gina opened the door, but MrsRabinowitz didn't move.
What's that?
Mrs Rabinowitz asked, pointingat something.
Oh, that's a lock.
So when I need to run out tothe grocery or a quick errand, I
don't need to worry about thekids getting out.
You know, this ain't the firsttime David runned away.
Only the other times I was ableto catch him and bring him back
, not the first time.
That was never reported to us.
(19:16):
Why not?
Like I said, I catched him andbrung him back.
Uh-huh.
And how often do you leave thekids alone in this house?
Like I said, only if I need torun to the grocery.
Mrs Rabinowitz frowned, thenstepped past Gina into the
darkened trailer.
Hello, samantha, and how are you?
Sammy, sitting at the kitchentable hunched over a bowl of
(19:37):
cereal, looked up, sammy.
What happened to your face,gina?
What happened to her face?
Mrs Rabinowitz rushed over toSammy and turned her head from
side to side.
She just had a little fall,nothing to worry about.
Her and David playingsuperheroes.
You know kids.
Uh-huh.
Is that what really happened?
If you don't believe me, go askher yourself.
(19:58):
Gina said smugly Go on, sammy,tell her what happened.
But Sammy wasn't listening tothem anymore.
She was busy staring at MrsRabinowitz's shoe Not at her
shoe exactly, but at the thingunderneath it A small yellow
card with the words TahomaCounty Public Library stamped on
it.
Okay, gina, never mind aboutSamantha, let's talk about David
(20:21):
.
Mrs Rabinowitz sat down at thetable and pulled a pen and
notebook from her bag.
When was the last time you sawhim?
This is where I keep mysuperhero toolbox, david had
said, pulling a small redplastic purse from underneath
his pillow.
Everything in here has aspecial power.
He dumped the contents out inthe bed A plutonium Joe figurine
, a book of matches from SaveMore Liquors, a small polished
(20:45):
black stone and a bright yellowlibrary card.
That night, instead of going tosleep, sammy and David had
stayed up reading comic books.
Sammy didn't know what time itwas, but it must have been very
late.
The television sounds from theliving room had stopped long ago
.
Want to see how this works?
David held up the library card.
Sammy nodded.
(21:05):
He walked over to the bedroomdoor, slid the card at an angle
into the crack of the door nextto the doorknob, pushed it down,
then slowly turned the doorknob.
The door opened.
Want to see it again?
He asked quietly, pulling thedoor closed again.
Sammy nodded and he did it asecond time.
(21:28):
I think old Gina's finallyasleep.
He said I'll be right back.
He slipped out the door,closing it behind him.
Sammy worried about what mighthappen if he got caught.
She looked back to the itemsspread out on the bed.
The Plutonium Joe figurine wasmissing a foot.
The polished black rockglimmered in the moonlight from
the bed.
The Plutonium Joe figurine wasmissing a foot.
The polished black rockglimmered in the moonlight from
the window.
The book of matches had onematch left.
She wondered what superpowersthese other treasures held.
(21:49):
The door creaked open and incrept, david smiling.
Before closing the door he madesure to press the button on the
other side so it locked again.
He reached into his jacketpocket and pulled out a napkin,
and wrapped inside was achocolate chip cookie.
He broke it and handed half toSammy.
I sneak out all the time afterGina goes to sleep.
He told her it's one of mysuperpowers.
(22:11):
You want to try?
He held the card towards Sammy,but she thought again of getting
caught and shook her head.
I already told you whathappened, gina said I put them
to bed at seven, just likealways.
I didn't hear nothing from themall night.
When I went to wake them up inthe morning the boy was gone.
Samantha, do you know whereDavid might have gone?
Mrs Rabinowitz's eyes pleadedwith Sammy.
(22:32):
But even if she knew anything,she couldn't tell Mrs Rabinowitz
she was Sammy.
The Silent Not talking was hersuperpower.
Anyhow, she didn't know whereDavid had gone.
She knew he'd sneaked out withthe library card again, only
this time it wasn't for cookies,it was to run away.
Oh bother, said Pooh.
I like David, maybe somedayhe'll come back.
(22:55):
Silly old bear, said Piglet.
He's left us, just like themother and the father and the
brother from before.
We filed a missing personreport and hopefully he'll be
found soon.
He couldn't have gotten far.
Mrs Rabinowitz gathered herthings from the table and Gina
walked her to the door.
When Sammy was sure no one waslooking, she picked the library
card up from the floor and slidit into her back pocket.
(23:17):
That night the Oozle named Carlcame back.
His words slurred together ashe talked and he wobbled a bit
as he walked.
Sammy was glad when Ginafinally locked her in her room
for the night, just so she couldget away from his staring.
She lay on David's bed wherethe light from the window was
the brightest and thumbedthrough his comic books.
She couldn't read all the words, but could figure out what was
(23:37):
happening from the pictures.
She closed her eyes andimagined her and David flying
through the air, their capesfluttering behind them, and
drifted off.
She woke suddenly to the sharpsound of the lock turning and
the door opening.
A figure loomed over her, butit wasn't Gina.
It was someone taller, thinner.
And Now don't be afeard.
(23:59):
The words stumbled from hismouth and ran into each other
it's only me, carl.
Gina went to the store for beer,so I thought I'd check on you.
See if you were asleep yet, areyou?
He sat down in the bed next toSammy and touched the back of
her head.
Sammy froze.
You know, you're a funny littlegirl.
(24:19):
You don't talk.
You got a boy's name and aboy's haircut.
Are you even a girl?
Maybe I should have a peek tomake sure.
Carl lifted the blanket andSammy unfroze.
She flailed her arms and kickedher legs, but the oozle was
(24:39):
strong.
Now was not the time to besilent, now was the time to
scream.
Carl's hand clamped down overher mouth and bite him, said poo
, bite.
The oozle.
Bite him.
Bite, bite, bite, said piglet.
Sammy bit hard.
Ow.
Carl jumped up.
You dirty little shit.
You bit me.
(25:00):
Look, I'm bleeding.
He held up his hand.
You better watch it orsomething might happen to you.
Just like your little friend, Igot another 10-gallon barrel
drum, just like the one Istuffed him into.
Carl slunk from the room,slamming the door, and Sammy
heard that all-too-familiarclick of the lock.
She lay still until thepounding in her chest slowed.
(25:20):
She heard Gina come home, heardher and Carl's muted voices
over the buzz from thetelevision, heard the hiss of a
beer can being opened andanother and another.
After a while their voices grewquieter, less frequent, until
finally they stopped altogether.
All Sammy could hear was thelow drone of the TV.
Sammy got up, walked over toDavid's bed and lifted the
(25:42):
pillow, knowing what she wasgoing to find the small red
plastic purse, david's treasures.
She looked inside.
The Plutonium Joe figurine wasthere, and everything else.
Everything except the librarycard.
Oh bother, said Pooh.
David forgot his treasures.
Maybe he'll come back for them.
Silly old bear, said Piglet,he's not coming back, not ever.
(26:07):
She knew then David hadn't runaway at all.
Something bad had happened tohim, something very, very bad,
and it was the Oozle Carl whodid it.
Sammy pulled David's blue hoodiefrom the floor, put it on,
zipped it and stuffed poo andpiglet inside next to her
stomach, then tucked the bottominto her shorts so they wouldn't
(26:28):
fall out.
She grabbed the remainingtreasures and crammed them into
the jacket pockets, feelingsomething gritty in the corners
of the pockets Cookie crumbs.
She put her ear against thedoor, listening.
Then she pulled the librarycard from her pocket and slid it
into the crack of the door andturned the doorknob, just as
she'd watched David do so manytimes.
Before Easing the door open,she crept into the hallway
(26:51):
careful, oh so careful not tomake a sound, but it wasn't hard
.
She was Sammy the Silent.
After all.
Gina lay belly down on the couchasleep.
Carl lay sprawled out on thefloor.
Sammy tiptoed past them, openedthe front door, stepped out
into the darkness and closed thedoor behind her.
It was then that she noticedthe lock, the one that Gina had
(27:13):
put on the outside of the door.
Sammy stretched, but shecouldn't quite reach.
On the opposite side of theporch sat a large stack of
newspapers tied with a piece oftwine.
She pulled them over to thedoor, climbed on top, then
reached up and slid the lockinto place.
It was the first time she'dever been on the other side of
that sound.
She pushed her hands into thepockets of the jacket, wondering
(27:35):
which one of David's treasuresshe could use next, when fingers
closed on the matchbook and hereyes fell to the bundle of
newspapers in front of the doorBurn, it said Pooh, burn, it
said Piglet.
Burn, it said Plutonium.
Joe and Sammy struck the match.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
It took me way too long into listening to realize
that we were actually talkingabout Winnie the Pooh characters
.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Well, I wasn't super familiar with.
Obviously I am now because ofthis story, but I didn't grow up
with like watching Winnie thePooh, Like I know who Winnie the
Pooh is.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, he's the big yellow bear.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
But I didn't know about, like the H, hufflumps
yeah, the hufflumps are integralI knew about the puffalumps
what's a puffalump?
Those are stuffed animals fromthe 90s oh god no but I didn't,
if you want true horror?
Look up puffalump no, but Ididn't know about the hufflumps.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Okay, so tell us what you thought of the story uh, it
seems more of like this is apsychotic coping mechanism.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
As opposed to actual abilities, Like do you think
she's really seeing these things?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, I think if you are in a situation where you are
being abused, especially as achild, you dissociate, you have
moments of seeing things.
I think all of this is truefrom the child's perspective.
Yes.
And I love how it translatessomething like the powers of a
(29:06):
superhero into something thatfeels that is horrifying in a
real world way, and I thinkthere's a lot of power in that
in this story.
I find this story to beincredibly effective.
I think it conjures a scenethat's so dark and difficult to
sit with and then gives us sucha satisfying and liberating
(29:29):
ending, and I love it for that.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
It really reminded me of we haven't seen the Boys.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
No.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
One of the antagonists in the Boys.
His name is Black Noir.
You know he never speaks.
He's kind of like the broodingBatman type character but he
never.
You know he never speaks andyou find out much later into the
series of why.
And that's because he has heavy, heavy brain damage.
And when we finally go from hisperspective he sees a bunch of
animated cartoon characterswalking him through all these
(29:54):
like horrific, murderous thingsthat he's doing.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
But it's that kind of vibe.
It's the juxtaposition betweenhappy childhood, go-lucky
characters and telling you tocommit horrible acts of violence
.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Well, I think these are not happy child.
In neither case are these happy, go-lucky childhood characters.
These are children that areforced into horrifying
situations.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
No, no, I'm saying what she sees.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Oh, like the Hufflepuffs.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,sure, sure, yes, right, and yes,
I agree with you.
Yeah, totally yeah, I love thisstory and this is from a writer
who we've never featured on thepodcast before, so I want to
take a second to tell you alittle bit about Nikki Lynn
Blakely, who lives in the SanFrancisco Bay Area.
Nikki enjoys.
Her work has appeared inUncharted Sundial Magazine,
(30:44):
bright Flash, literary Review,luna Station Quarterly and many
more.
Her works also appeared in thefollowing anthologies Between
the Covers 72 Hours of Insanity,v9, writer Games, dim and
Flaring Lamps and the podcastTelltale TV in the Gallery of
Curiosities.
So definitely check those outif you'd like to explore more of
her work.
(31:04):
You can also read more atNikkiBlakelycom, which, of
course, we will link, and followher at nblakely99 on Twitter.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I really like this story.
I think it fit right in withthe series and I look forward to
hearing more from her.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, I'm a real big fan of this piece and I'm
excited and hope that Nikkisubmits more.
And, of course, this story wasnarrated for us by Sarah Luke,
our dear friend, sarah Luke,longtime friend of Lunatics.
You can follow Sarah Luke onInstagram at Sarah Luke 25.
And, of course, we will linkthat as well below.
Sarah has such a beautifulnarration voice and I think it
brought the story to life in aperfect way for this I agree.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
And I think we have one last story to round it out.
We have one last story.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Let's roll the tape story to round it out.
We have one last story.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Let's roll the tape.
The Undertaker Ren and Ren byDenali Martell.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
And three, two, one.
The redhead with the clipboardcounted down the seconds on
stubby fingers, you're on.
Gianni took a deep breath,shaking out his shoulders.
The stagehand looked at himcuriously.
Are you nervous?
If I was, would you hold itagainst me?
He laughed.
(32:19):
The kid grinned, scruffyeyebrows arching high on his
freckled forehead.
No, it's just.
He blushed, beet red, clutchinghis clipboard tighter.
You're, you know you.
Everyone has their weakness.
Gianni smiled, flipping thecumbersome cape over one
shoulder.
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, I never thought I'd getthe chance to meet someone like
(32:42):
you.
I've always lived here.
And this the boys' gushing fadedinto white noise as Gianni's
attention shifted to the stagedoor.
And with that, please put yourhands together for our hometown
hero, the Undertaker.
Blinding flashes flickered inGianni's periphery as he stepped
onto the plywood stage andshook the proffered hands,
(33:04):
working his way down the lineuntil he stood behind the podium
.
He gripped the edges betweenwhite-knuckled fingers and
slowly raised his head, takingin the sea of upturned faces.
Thank you for coming out today.
He glanced down at the notecard someone had arranged neatly
for him.
I hear traffic on the I-75 isno joke.
(33:25):
A polite handful of chucklesbarely graced the lips of the
horde before a deluge ofquestions poured forth.
Is it true that the Piranhanearly had you on the ropes?
Well, I wouldn't say.
Were you able to find out wherethe clan will strike next?
We don't know for sure, but ourteam is working on a strategy
to identify threats.
Before A woman in a blue suitshoved her way to the front of
(33:47):
the crowd, thrusting amicrophone towards his face.
The people of New Jersey wantto know how do you plan to
address the accusations thatyour missions cause more harm
than good to our community?
Gianni laughed, feeling thesound trickle down his throat
like poison.
Uh, undertaker, were you awarethat one in ten people think
(34:07):
your actions against the Piranhawere unnecessarily violent?
Gianni glanced at the gap in thestage door, catching a glimpse
of his harried publicist.
Uh, that's an interestingquestion, Undertaker.
Now that the Incinerator hasretired, will you be taking over
his position as head of theboard'.
Gianni began scratching theinside of his wrist through the
(34:30):
sleeve of his suit.
"'that will be a question forthe acting head, carter Br—'
"'What will be done with thepiranha's remains?
"'will they be studied orburied'.
Gianni began to scratch harder,tugging at the stiff spandex.
"'i'm sorry, I'm not at libertyto say.
He glanced back at his sweatypublicist, violently motioning
(34:51):
him towards the exit.
Are there any further?
Undertaker, would you care toelaborate on the statement you
made after your last press?
Undertaker, what do you think?
Undertaker, did you?
Undertaker, undertaker,undertaker?
Gianni's eyes glazed over,drifting from the clamoring mass
of reporters to the poster onhis right, plastered over an
(35:12):
image of a hulking man in atattered wetsuit.
Was the word Conquered?
He studied the gills thatpeeked out from his high collar,
tracked the faint shimmer ofscales at his wrists and temples
and scratched his own wristharder.
No more questions.
The voice of Jace, hispublicist, snapped Gianni out of
his reverie.
He felt arms clap around hisshoulders, hauling him toward
(35:34):
the stage door.
Thanks so much for ah, fuck it,that was a fucking bloodbath.
What did I tell you aboutanswering a question with a
question?
Jace paced the length of thesmall trailer.
It's like you don't listen to aword I say.
You'd think I was the worstgoddamn publicist in the solar
system.
He stopped in front of Gianni,fixing him with a hard stare,
(35:57):
which I am not.
He wiped his narrow foreheadfurther, dislodging his already
slipping toupee.
I know for a fact thatpublicists on Mars are
criminally undertrained.
Gianni stared down at his hands,digging a nail into the inside
of his wrist.
Jace paused halfway to thebedroom and glanced at him,
frowning Gee, are you gettingany of this?
(36:18):
Gianni startled shaking hishead and tugging his sleeve down
.
Yeah, jace, I got it.
Jace palmed his forehead andstalked over, gripping him by
the biceps.
Hey, hey, listen to me, you arethe fucking Undertaker.
Why are you letting theseidiots push you around?
Huh, he clapped him on theshoulder, leaning in until their
(36:39):
foreheads touched.
You are the champion of the USA.
You did what no one else coulddo.
He poked a finger into Gianni'schest, lowering his voice.
You cut off the fucking snake'shead.
Yeah, jace leaned back, pattinghis cheek gently.
The army, the feds, the fuckingmarines they didn't know what
(37:01):
the fuck to do.
But you.
You came out of Dallas like afucking messiah and clocked not
one, not two he counted on hisfingers but three grade-A
supervillains.
Gianni grimaced yeah, jace, I no, no, you don't know.
G?
Jace groaned, pacing backacross the trailer.
(37:21):
If you knew, you wouldn't beletting the paparazzi make a
fool out of you on your fuckingvictory lap.
Gianni chafed his wrist againstthe side of his pant leg.
I know, man, I'm sorry.
Jace's expression softened.
Don't apologize to me, okay, Idon't like it when you do that,
okay, uh, I'm sorry.
(37:42):
I said don't fucking do that,okay.
Jace's stern expression crackeda smile, lifting the corners of
his lips.
Here, just.
He grabbed a bottle of waterfrom the mini-fridge and passed
it over awkwardly Drink this.
Gianni.
Took the bottle.
I'll see you in ten for the fanmeet and greet.
(38:02):
Jace walked to the door thenpaused, hand on the knob.
Give yourself some credit, kid.
You took out a metal man, abitch with wings and some
motherfucker with teeth the sizeof your hands, and you haven't
got a scratch on you.
Kids your age, with no powersand half your brains, walk
(38:23):
around acting like they'reinvincible.
Well, you actually are.
So fucking, act like it.
The door slammed shut behindJace and Gianni hung his head.
He unscrewed the water bottleand turned the cap over between
his thumb and forefinger.
He sighed, screwed it back onand tossed the bottle aside.
The sound of Jace's voicefiltered from behind the trailer
door.
Yeah, he's just taking a minute, he's good.
(38:45):
Gianni stood and walked towardthe bedroom, pulling back the
door, only to reveal that thequilt was covered in gift
baskets and swag bags.
He groaned and sat in the oneempty corner.
No, he's fine, I told you.
Gianni slid the door shut,muffling the conversation.
He leaned forward, resting hiselbows on his knees, and pulled
(39:06):
back the sleeve of his suit toreveal a patch of scales
bursting from beneath thereddened skin of his inner wrist
.
He winced, running a tentativefinger over the iridescent
flecks.
They sparkled in the dim light,like so many sharpened daggers.
He reached for the hem of histop and pulled it over his head.
The fabric slid past hisshoulders, revealing the tips of
(39:29):
fins arching along his elbowsin rough ridges that broke the
skin.
Scales freckled the back of hisneck, cresting the nubs of
wings that punched throughthrobbing wounds on his shoulder
blades.
He stretched and a few ebonyfeathers peeled themselves from
the festering gashes soaked inblood and pus.
Twisted metal molded a pathdown his spine, curling and
(39:53):
weaving across his back in apatchwork of scarred flesh and
steel Bruises stained his skin,a kaleidoscope of colors
blooming from the jagged sets oftooth marks mangling nearly
every inch of his torso.
He let his shirt slip from hisfingers to the floor.
Fine, he muttered.
Gianni is fine.
(40:15):
He stood, slowly clearing thebaskets and totes from the
bedspread and slid the mattressaside.
Beneath the wooden slots of theframe, neat rows of boxes were
arranged end to end, eachlabeled in thick black letters.
He brushed his fingers over thetote labeled GARGOIL, filled
with a handful of black feathersand, man OF STEEL, with a vial
(40:37):
of silver liquid encased instyrofoam.
He pulled a black bag from thecorner, where it lay tucked
against the headboard, and tooka pair of pliers and a plastic
bag from the inner pocket.
Carefully, he clamped thepliers onto a single scale and
tugged.
There was a knock at the doorand Jace's voice cut through the
silence Gianni.
(40:57):
Gianni ignored the summons,gripping the pliers harder and
twisting.
The tiny protrusion clung tohis body, loathed to let go.
Gee, come on, kid.
Gianni gave the pliers a finalyank and the scale pulled free,
ripping a chunk of skin awaywith it.
He hissed in pain as bloodbegan to trickle down his arm.
(41:19):
Shit.
He opened the small bag anddropped the scale inside,
zipping it shut.
Are you asleep?
There's no time for a nap.
Gianni dropped the plastic baginto an empty box labeled
Piranha and replaced the pliers,sliding the mattress back into
place.
Give me a minute, jace, I'mcoming.
He reached for his shirt,quickly slipping it back on.
(41:40):
I've got five minutes to getyou in the tent or a bunch of
snot-nosed toddlers will have myhead.
Gianni shook out his shouldersand closed his eyes.
Gianni's fine, I'm fine.
He exhaled a shaky breath andreached for the door.
His hand met the cool brass ofthe knob and slipped right off.
Gee, get your ass out here.
(42:02):
He took another long breath,trying to settle his quickening
pulse, and reached again for thehandle.
Again, his hand refused toclose, sliding uselessly off the
metal handle.
It felt slippery, slimy.
A shudder ran down his spineand the flightless wings at his
(42:24):
back fluttered with unease.
Ran down his spine and theflightless wings at his back
fluttered with unease.
Slowly, gianni opened his eyesand raised his hand to his face.
Each finger was glued to thenext, swallowed in a web of
(42:44):
bluish skin.
A fin, gianni screamed.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
This story was written and narrated by Denali
Bartel, who, of course, asalways, did such a lovely job
for this episode, and it wasreally cool to be able to
feature some of Denali's work onthe podcast in this way.
I think this is the first timethat we have a story written by
Denali to share.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Also, denali really hit the nail on the head with
the true horror of superheroesand that is politics and press
images.
Just getting scrutinized by thepress is a trope that's
becoming more and more popularbecause we try to juxtapose
superheroes into our modernsociety and it just doesn't fly.
(43:27):
No pun intended, because, yeah,these people act outside the
law and they.
You know you can't makeeveryone happy, but you kind of
have to because the idea of badpress is unthinkable.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean it is something you seea lot, especially with Batman,
but I'm sure with other seriestoo, and you know X-Men or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
You really should watch the Boys.
Okay, it's perfect.
Superhero horror.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
So you know I'm going to pitch you on this real quick
.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Okay, tell me.
I'm not going to watch it, buttell me.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
So the premise of the Boys is that there's
superheroes.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, you know and they're boys.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
No, oh, it's kind of like a simulacrum for the
Justice League.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
OK.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
They're called the seven and you know they save the
world and keep everyone safe,but they're really just a bunch
of corporate puppets and all thesaving that they do is
orchestrated, because they'rereally just horrible, horrible
people, because they'reeffectively living gods and they
don't have to answer anyoneexcept their corporate overlords
(44:29):
.
For them, press events andapproval ratings and merch sales
are everything Fascinating, andso the boys are just a group of
everyday people that say we'vehad enough and try really hard
to kill them.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Oh, that's kind of a fun premise.
It's so fun and try really hardto kill them.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Oh that's kind of a fun premise, it's so fun.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
I actually think the Undertaker, who is the obviously
the main character here, is abit more sympathetic than that
right.
He's clearly less tied up inhis image as his manager is.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Well, but that's where the horror comes in.
He's trying to, you know, cleanup the streets but you know you
can't make it on withoutbreaking some eggs.
That's his tagline and that'swhy you know other superhero
mythos have like licensed heroes, people that have gone through
training to minimize casualties.
If you're trying to destroy therampaging robot, there's only
(45:18):
so many safe ways to do that.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah, I love the story, love the ending Thought.
It was really well written andit was really fun.
It's always really fun for mewhen the narrator narrates their
own story, because you sort ofsee it brought to life in
exactly the way they envisionedit.
So it was really cool to recordlive with Denali and to watch
as they recorded their own work.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
And also just a little tick on a body horror at
the end there.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yeah, something a little fun and juicy to kind of
spice it up.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Yeah, something a little fun and juicy to kind of
spice it up.
Yeah, you know, you never knowwhen powers go awry.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
You never know.
Thank you so much to all of ourwriters and narrators and, fun
fact actually, so our threenarrators today were actually
all included in the audio dramathat we kicked off the summer
with a few episodes ago BerkeyFamily Vacation.
So if you have not listened tothat it's short, it's about five
minutes I would love.
If you have not listened tothat it's short, it's about five
(46:06):
minutes I would love if youwould go back and listen to it.
It was so fun to put together.
It's very thematic for summer,so it's a perfect time to listen
to it.
And also, quick announcement,the series is not over yet.
We are going to have one morespontaneous episode on superhero
horror.
What?
Don't worry, alan, you havenothing to do.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
What do you mean?
I love this series.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
I'm planning a solo episode.
How dare you.
Deep diving into the history ofSpring-Heeled Jack because I
could not get enough.
I was so interested and therewas so much more to say and I
did a bunch of extra researchand I was like there's a lot to
share here.
So one more episode comingabout, Spring-Heeled Jack, and
then we will pivot back into ourregularly scheduled program.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, Well, I'm going to do my own episode on
Spring-Heeled Jack without you.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Great, would love that.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Not going to release it.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Oh, that will be all for nothing, then, as always,
thank you all so much for beinghere.
Thank you for listening.
Stay spooky, stay safe, andwe'll talk to you soon.
Bye, bye, bye.
Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode
of the Lunatics Radio Hourpodcast.
My name is Abbey Brinker and Iam sitting here with Alan Kudan.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And today we are so excited to have another Lunatics
Library episode, this timefeaturing three terrifying,
quite dark superhero horrorstories.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm very excited.
As we know, I do enjoy a goodsuperhero horror story.
Before we jump into the stories, I do want to say because, like
you know, this feels very muchlike listening to audiobooks yes
, and while, like you know,editing these to get ready to
listen to it reminded me thatI've actually listened to an
entire book series aboutsuperhero horror.
Tell us more that we have notyet addressed on this episode.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What a glaring omission.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I know I'm sorry I have talked about it on this
podcast, because I talk aboutonly the same five things again
and again.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Diablo.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Diablo Godzilla.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
What's the series?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
This series is called X Heroes by Peter Clines.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I remember you talking about this.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Go ahead and explain then.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It's like X-Men, right, or there's like a school,
and they all have powers.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Not even close.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
You're thinking, you really got thrown by the expert.
Yeah, go ahead.
Why don't you explain it?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
it's x here because ex-heroes it's.
It's your ex-partners formerheroes former lovers honestly
that's a common issue withsuperhero stuff is just horrible
.
Horrible naming conventionswhen done for novels Inside the
Marvel or DC or actually comicspace.
Most of the clever superheronames or teams or overall
(01:53):
franchises or not franchises butsuperhero organizations these
monoliths of Marvel and DC havebeen coming up with these exact
things for going on 100 yearsnow, and so the good ones are
already taken and so a lot ofthese things like just get
really stupid names for no otherreason of like.
Instead of a think tank, it'sjust one guy writing his book.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Okay, so tell us about X.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Anyways, x Heroes the name comes from the title X
Humans, because that's theirname for zombies, and this is a
zombie apocalypse set in asuperhero universe.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It's very cool.
I highly highly recommend thisseries to anyone that likes.
We talked about it on thezombies episode.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Anyone who likes, well, zombie, horror or
superhero stories and I happento like both.
Obviously, the zombie part isthe horror part, but it also
brings up some really goodquestions that lean into the
darker aspects of superheroes.
You have these abilities thatno one is supposed to have in
(02:54):
the natural order of things, andif someone has the ability to
create super-powered diseases,well, what if one of them
launches?
This is the zombie apocalypse.
Right and so through theactions of you know, I'm not
giving any spoilers here, so I'mnot going to get into any, uh,
specifics.
But like, what if someone'ssuperpowers bring on the zombie
(03:15):
apocalypse?
That's right, that's pretty bad.
It's a long book series.
It's like five or six books, Ithink, and it's it's a lot of
fun.
It's so interesting that thisis also by Peter Clines.
This is such a departure fromhis later works.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What I don't know him .
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I know him mostly from the Threshold series.
It's half cosmic horror, halflike Scooby-Doo it out.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
All right, great.
So without further ado, let'shop into the stories.
But I will say at least two ofthe three stories I'm going to
have a pretty strong contentwarning on.
So we're going to start withone of those stories.
I would say content warninghere for discussion mention of
self-harm, nothing incrediblygraphic, but it is part of it.
So I'm just going to put thatout there.
(03:55):
But let's roll the tape.
Intervenable.
Written by Warren Benedetto RedBarn White Serum.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
I'm sorry.
The doctor said.
He closed the folder containingmy test results.
There's nothing we can do.
My voice shook as I spoke,you're you're sure do.
My voice shook as I spoke,you're sure.
I scanned the doctor's office asif searching for some
undiscovered cure for myaffliction.
Can't you give me something?
A shot, some pills, anything?
(04:36):
I'm afraid not.
He removed his glasses,polished them then returned them
to his nose, polish them thenreturn them to his nose.
Our options are limitedethically, I'm sure you
understand.
I nodded, wiping at thedampness under my eyes.
How much longer do I have?
I wish I could say.
As I stared down at my hands, Isensed the doctor's gaze shift
(05:00):
to the razor-thin scars runningdown my forearms and across my
wrists.
I looked up at him.
He quickly averted his eyes.
Can I have a minute?
I asked, alone, of course.
Take as much time as you need.
Once he was gone, I buried myface in my hands and allowed
(05:20):
myself to cry.
I had gotten exactly the answerI was expecting, but that
didn't make it any easier tohear.
It meant my suffering had onlyjust begun.
Take as much time as you need,he said, as if I needed more
time instead of less.
The sooner I could end it allthe better.
The sheer idiocy of humankindhad sapped my will to live.
(05:44):
At first I had tried to savethem, fighting crime, stopping
wars, but I was powerless tohalt their inevitable
self-destruction.
I watched helplessly as theygorged on lies, ravenous for the
empty satisfaction of hearingtheir own distorted fears
shouted back at them only louderand meaner.
(06:04):
They were sick, diseased.
Their narcissism was a cancer.
Their ignorance was a blight.
It destroyed their capacity forempathy, leaving nothing but
infected abscesses dripping withspite.
There was no treatment, no cure.
The condition was terminal.
Civilization was dying, onepointless cruelty at a time.
(06:27):
I had failed.
The solution seemed simple Iwould take my own life.
But no, no such relief waspossible, not for me.
I was different, special, aquote-unquote superhero.
I ran my fingers along my jaw,tracing the dimpled flesh where
(06:48):
the self-inflicted shotgun blasthad ricocheted harmlessly off
my face, then let them wanderdown to the rippled scar the
noose had left around my neck.
God damn it.
I thought Nothing had worked.
No matter how many times Itried, I simply could not die.
In delivering the bad news, thedoctor had confirmed what I
(07:10):
already knew that I was somehow,impossibly, inescapably
immortal.
I peered out the window to thestreet below.
I was on the 17th floor of CityHospital.
It wasn't the highest floor,but I prayed that it was high
enough.
I lifted the sash, climbed outonto the ledge and jumped.
(07:33):
It's worth a try, I thought asI plummeted headlong towards the
rain-slicked sidewalk.
What's the worst that couldhappen?
But I already knew the answer Icould live.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I love this story so much because, I mean, first of
all, it's by our friend, warrenBenedetto, who I feel like is so
talented but it does such agood job at evoking this very
specific and very dark emotionin like less than four pages.
And I think Warren's so good atcreating these worlds and
typically his stories are alittle bit longer than this, but
it was really cool to see thesame world building, I guess
(08:14):
with such a minimal style ofstorytelling, and I feel like he
was equally as successful withthis format.
And I also love this storybecause so much of obviously,
what we're looking at in thisseries is the intersection of
horror and superhero content,and this is exactly that right,
it raises that question and itreminds me, alan, of something
that you brought just outlive,right, you can't die and you
(08:46):
live so long that nothing isleft for you, and it reminded me
of that right.
So it's horrifying in the shortterm that this guy has to live
in this way, that he doesn'twant to, but then think about,
like in a hundred years from nowor in a thousand years from now
, and that's, I think, reallywhere the horror is.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So this is a trope that's been broached a number of
times in comics.
Yeah, it's, it's a.
It's really just turnsinvulnerability on its head.
This isn't a vulnerability,this is immortality.
Really, the ability to be ableto heal from any injury seems
like such a blessing.
Except what if you want to die?
One of the main superheroesthat comes to mind is going to
be Wolverine.
Is what if you want to die?
(09:31):
One of the main superheroesthat comes to mind is going to
be Wolverine.
Is he immortal?
He's not immortal, but he'shundreds of years old, because
his healing factor also repairsthe damage done by aging.
The most established death ofWolverine story was actually
adapted for the Logan moviewhere the only reason that he
dies is because he hasadamantium poisoning, so like
the metal in his boneseventually poisons him and he
dies is because he hasadamantium poisoning, so like
the metal in his boneseventually poisons him and he
dies.
But without the metal hishealing factor goes crazy and
you know he can effectively liveforever his kryptonite then no,
(09:52):
because it's just double-edgedsword.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
But isn't that?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
kryptonite is like the weak, the one weakness for
superman, yeah no, I mean,wolverine is not invulnerable.
He still gets hurt.
And there's another death inDays of Future Past when he just
gets blasted by a giant laserand just every little bit of him
gets crispy, so he's dead.
But another great example of asuperhero that just wants to die
is my personal favorite of Hulk.
(10:15):
You know, and they even talkabout this in the Avengers movie
.
Bruce Banner says they point agun at him when he gets, all you
know, no-transcript upon death.
At best he awakens the HulkRight.
(10:37):
So it just doesn't work.
He wants to die, he wants tostop hurting people, but he
can't.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, it's so tragic in such an unexpected way, but
it makes total sense for, kindof, the mechanics of a lot of
these stories.
So Warren Benedetto writes darkfiction about horrible people,
horrible places and horriblethings.
He's an award-winning authorand we are mega fans of his work
.
He has published over 260stories.
(11:01):
For more, I encourage you tovisit warrenbenedettocom, which
we will link in the descriptionof this episode.
You can also follow him atwarrenbenedetto on Twitter and
Instagram.
And, of course, this story wasperformed for us by the
incredible narrator, mikeMassera, who is one half of
Beach Therapy, one of ourfavorite bands.
So, mike, thank you so much forbringing this story to life in
(11:25):
such a beautiful way as youalways do.
This was a great duo.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Thank you Mike, thank you Warren.
Please work together again.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Before we roll the tape on the next one, I'm also
going to give a content warningon this story.
This story centers a bit aroundchild abuse and it's about 15
minutes long, so if you'd liketo skip ahead and miss this one,
15 minutes ahead will get youpast it.
Speaker 6 (12:12):
Heffalumps and Oozles , read by Nikki Blakely.
Read by Sarah Luke, let out ascreeching wail oh my boy, my
boy, whatever will I do withoutmy boy?
Yeah, yeah, do it.
Just like that, said the Oozlenamed Carl.
Maybe throw in something abouthow much you love him.
Gina began wailing again oh myboy, my boy, I do love him.
So Please find him and bringhim home safe.
(12:32):
Her pudgy pink hand reached upand gave her nose another light
smack.
The boy she was fake cryingabout was David, though she
called him dipshit.
He'd run away the night before,and now Mrs Rabinowitz, the
foster care lady, was coming.
Sammy sat v-legged on the dirtycarpet with her back to them,
staring at the television wherecolored images flickered and
danced on the screens.
But she wasn't watching thecartoons.
(12:54):
Sometimes the screen woulddarken and she'd glimpse Gina
and Carl in the reflection.
It was them she was watching.
Hufflepuffs and Oozles werevery, very dangerous.
Pooh had told her, and she mustbe watched very, very carefully
.
And Pooh never lied.
Sammy clutched the stuffed beartoy tightly to her side and the
smaller piglet toy lay on thefloor in front of her.
(13:14):
The three of them watched andlistened.
It would be nice if you couldget another one like her.
Carl said, and Sammy could feelthe weight of his eyes on her.
She didn't like to be looked at.
Try to make yourself small,piglet said.
If you try to make yourselfsmall, no one will notice you.
Look how small I am.
No one ever notices me.
Piglet didn't lie either.
(13:34):
Sammy pulled her shouldersinward and tried to shrink
herself.
She really don't ever talk.
Carl asked Not a word, not apeep, except for the one time
she took to screaming when Itried to take those ugly old
dolls away from her.
You better believe I gave hersomething to scream about after
that.
She deaf Nah, she ain't deaf.
She can hear just fine.
She just don't talk.
(13:54):
Why you think that is?
I don't fucking know, carl.
Maybe she ain't got nothing tosay?
Who gives a shit?
Gina heaved herself from thesofa with a grunt and thumped
towards the kitchen.
Aren't you the one that gaveher that haircut?
Makes her look like a boy.
No, I did not give her thathaircut.
It was on her head when theyfirst brung her.
Now it's time for you to getthat.
(14:14):
Social service lady says she'scoming at 2, but she might show
up early.
They like to do that, thinkingthey're going to catch you at
something, and you know youain't allowed to be around
children, so you best be gonebefore she gets here.
If they don't give me anotherdipshit, I'm going to be out
$348 a month.
I told you it was an accident.
You just hope no one finds outabout your little accident.
If they do.
I don't know nothing about itNow, you, I don't know nothing
(14:36):
about it.
Now, get yourself gone.
Sammy was sad David had run awayand, even sadder, he hadn't
taken her with him.
They were a team, didn't he sayso?
And she had liked having abrother, even if it was just a
foster.
She remembered another brotheronce, a long time ago, but his
name wasn't David.
It was something that startedwith J, Johnny, joey, jerry.
(14:56):
She couldn't remember Jeremy,pooh said she remembered a
mother too, and a father Realones, not Foster's, but they
were just blurry thoughtswithout names or faces.
She thought her mother's hairhad been yellow like hers.
Oh yes, said Pooh, it wasyellow, the color of honey, and
(15:17):
she smelled like honey too.
There were a lot of things.
Sammy couldn't remember, mostof anything that happened before
the crash, but she was onlyfour then, and now she was six,
and maybe when she was seven andall grown up, she would
remember everything.
Some things are best notremembered, said Piglet and Pooh
agreed.
(15:38):
Sammy and David had shared abedroom, two stained mattresses
butted up against walls onopposite sides of the small room
, each with a thin blanket and aflattened pillow.
Above David's bed, coloredglossy pages torn from the
covers of comic books, theiredges ragged and curling, hung
scotch tape from the walls.
David was just a small boy butlooked like an old man, with
wispy brown hair combed over toone side and glasses with thick
(16:01):
lenses that made his eyes lookthree times as bigger than they
were.
On her first night there, davidhad caught Sammy staring
wide-eyed at the pictures tapedabove his bed A man with a sharp
jutting jaw, bulging musclesand pitch-black eyes from which
shafts of red light flowedoutward.
Next to him stood a boy with ahead shaped like a mushroom,
surrounded by an orangeincandescent glow.
(16:23):
That's Plutonium Joe and hissidekick Atom Bomb, said David.
They got their superpowers onaccount of an accident at a
nuclear power plant.
Before that, they were justtrusty workers doing their jobs,
and then one day, wham pow,nuclear explosion.
Now they can shoot radioactivelaser beams from their eyes Pew,
pew, pew and they kick withatomic force Bam, bam Bam.
(16:45):
David had tied the arms of alight blue hoodie around his
neck and hung it off his backlike a cape.
Plutonium Joe and Adam Bombfight for justice, freedom and
the safety of all.
They're the good guys and theyfight the bad guys.
David narrowed his eyes atSammy Are you a good guy?
She shrank back to the cornerof her bed and pulled the
blanket up around her neck.
I said, screamed, david, areyou a good guy?
(17:09):
Heavy footsteps thumped down thehallway and the door swung open
, slamming against the wall.
Gina's face was twisted in aknot of anger.
What the holy hell is going onin here?
Who's doing all that screaming?
I know it ain't that one.
She don't say squat, so it mustbe you dipshit.
Gina grabbed David by the elbow,dragged him over to the bed and
threw him down.
It's after seven.
(17:30):
That means bedtime.
I don't want to hear no morenoise out of you.
Not so much as a fart Got it.
Her large round face loomedinches from David's and he
nodded slowly.
If you need a pee, you use thebucket, and if it's the other,
you wait till morning.
Gina flicked the light off,pulled the door closed and they
heard the hard click of the lock.
David laid there staring at theceiling.
(17:52):
Sammy wondered if he might cry.
She would have.
It's okay if you can't talk.
David whispered, there's thingsI can't do either.
I can't run fast, I can't seegood, I always break things.
But you want to know a secret.
I'm special and maybe you'respecial too.
And if you're special it meansyou're one of the good guys,
(18:13):
just like me and Plutonium Joe.
My superhero name is David theDestroyer.
You can be my sidekick.
You're gonna need a superheroname.
He was quiet for a moment,thinking I know you can be Sammy
the Silent.
We're gonna need a secrethandshake.
As soon as Gina saw MrsRabinowitz's car pull into the
driveway, her pudgy pink handshot out and gave her nose a
(18:34):
soft smack and she began cryingand moaning, just as she had
practiced.
Oh my boy, where can he be?
Lord, please bring him homesafe and sound.
Miss Kirkland, are you okay?
May I come in?
Mrs Rabinowitz said through thedoor Course.
I ain't okay.
Gina wiped the fake tears fromher eyes.
My boy's gone and I'm besidemyself with grief and worry.
(18:56):
Gina opened the door, but MrsRabinowitz didn't move.
What's that?
Mrs Rabinowitz asked, pointingat something.
Oh, that's a lock.
So when I need to run out tothe grocery or a quick errand, I
don't need to worry about thekids getting out.
You know, this ain't the firsttime David runned away.
Only the other times I was ableto catch him and bring him back
, not the first time.
That was never reported to us.
(19:16):
Why not?
Like I said, I catched him andbrung him back.
Uh-huh.
And how often do you leave thekids alone in this house?
Like I said, only if I need torun to the grocery.
Mrs Rabinowitz frowned, thenstepped past Gina into the
darkened trailer.
Hello, samantha, and how are you?
Sammy, sitting at the kitchentable hunched over a bowl of
(19:37):
cereal, looked up, sammy.
What happened to your face,gina?
What happened to her face?
Mrs Rabinowitz rushed over toSammy and turned her head from
side to side.
She just had a little fall,nothing to worry about.
Her and David playingsuperheroes.
You know kids.
Uh-huh.
Is that what really happened?
If you don't believe me, go askher yourself.
(19:58):
Gina said smugly Go on, sammy,tell her what happened.
But Sammy wasn't listening tothem anymore.
She was busy staring at MrsRabinowitz's shoe Not at her
shoe exactly, but at the thingunderneath it A small yellow
card with the words TahomaCounty Public Library stamped on
it.
Okay, gina, never mind aboutSamantha, let's talk about David
(20:21):
.
Mrs Rabinowitz sat down at thetable and pulled a pen and
notebook from her bag.
When was the last time you sawhim?
This is where I keep mysuperhero toolbox, david had
said, pulling a small redplastic purse from underneath
his pillow.
Everything in here has aspecial power.
He dumped the contents out inthe bed A plutonium Joe figurine
, a book of matches from SaveMore Liquors, a small polished
(20:45):
black stone and a bright yellowlibrary card.
That night, instead of going tosleep, sammy and David had
stayed up reading comic books.
Sammy didn't know what time itwas, but it must have been very
late.
The television sounds from theliving room had stopped long ago
.
Want to see how this works?
David held up the library card.
Sammy nodded.
(21:05):
He walked over to the bedroomdoor, slid the card at an angle
into the crack of the door nextto the doorknob, pushed it down,
then slowly turned the doorknob.
The door opened.
Want to see it again?
He asked quietly, pulling thedoor closed again.
Sammy nodded and he did it asecond time.
(21:28):
I think old Gina's finallyasleep.
He said I'll be right back.
He slipped out the door,closing it behind him.
Sammy worried about what mighthappen if he got caught.
She looked back to the itemsspread out on the bed.
The Plutonium Joe figurine wasmissing a foot.
The polished black rockglimmered in the moonlight from
the bed.
The Plutonium Joe figurine wasmissing a foot.
The polished black rockglimmered in the moonlight from
the window.
The book of matches had onematch left.
She wondered what superpowersthese other treasures held.
(21:49):
The door creaked open and incrept, david smiling.
Before closing the door he madesure to press the button on the
other side so it locked again.
He reached into his jacketpocket and pulled out a napkin,
and wrapped inside was achocolate chip cookie.
He broke it and handed half toSammy.
I sneak out all the time afterGina goes to sleep.
He told her it's one of mysuperpowers.
(22:11):
You want to try?
He held the card towards Sammy,but she thought again of getting
caught and shook her head.
I already told you whathappened, gina said I put them
to bed at seven, just likealways.
I didn't hear nothing from themall night.
When I went to wake them up inthe morning the boy was gone.
Samantha, do you know whereDavid might have gone?
Mrs Rabinowitz's eyes pleadedwith Sammy.
(22:32):
But even if she knew anything,she couldn't tell Mrs Rabinowitz
she was Sammy.
The Silent Not talking was hersuperpower.
Anyhow, she didn't know whereDavid had gone.
She knew he'd sneaked out withthe library card again, only
this time it wasn't for cookies,it was to run away.
Oh bother, said Pooh.
I like David, maybe somedayhe'll come back.
(22:55):
Silly old bear, said Piglet.
He's left us, just like themother and the father and the
brother from before.
We filed a missing personreport and hopefully he'll be
found soon.
He couldn't have gotten far.
Mrs Rabinowitz gathered herthings from the table and Gina
walked her to the door.
When Sammy was sure no one waslooking, she picked the library
card up from the floor and slidit into her back pocket.
(23:17):
That night the Oozle named Carlcame back.
His words slurred together ashe talked and he wobbled a bit
as he walked.
Sammy was glad when Ginafinally locked her in her room
for the night, just so she couldget away from his staring.
She lay on David's bed wherethe light from the window was
the brightest and thumbedthrough his comic books.
She couldn't read all the words, but could figure out what was
(23:37):
happening from the pictures.
She closed her eyes andimagined her and David flying
through the air, their capesfluttering behind them, and
drifted off.
She woke suddenly to the sharpsound of the lock turning and
the door opening.
A figure loomed over her, butit wasn't Gina.
It was someone taller, thinner.
And Now don't be afeard.
(23:59):
The words stumbled from hismouth and ran into each other
it's only me, carl.
Gina went to the store for beer,so I thought I'd check on you.
See if you were asleep yet, areyou?
He sat down in the bed next toSammy and touched the back of
her head.
Sammy froze.
You know, you're a funny littlegirl.
(24:19):
You don't talk.
You got a boy's name and aboy's haircut.
Are you even a girl?
Maybe I should have a peek tomake sure.
Carl lifted the blanket andSammy unfroze.
She flailed her arms and kickedher legs, but the oozle was
(24:39):
strong.
Now was not the time to besilent, now was the time to
scream.
Carl's hand clamped down overher mouth and bite him, said poo
, bite.
The oozle.
Bite him.
Bite, bite, bite, said piglet.
Sammy bit hard.
Ow.
Carl jumped up.
You dirty little shit.
You bit me.
(25:00):
Look, I'm bleeding.
He held up his hand.
You better watch it orsomething might happen to you.
Just like your little friend, Igot another 10-gallon barrel
drum, just like the one Istuffed him into.
Carl slunk from the room,slamming the door, and Sammy
heard that all-too-familiarclick of the lock.
She lay still until thepounding in her chest slowed.
(25:20):
She heard Gina come home, heardher and Carl's muted voices
over the buzz from thetelevision, heard the hiss of a
beer can being opened andanother and another.
After a while their voices grewquieter, less frequent, until
finally they stopped altogether.
All Sammy could hear was thelow drone of the TV.
Sammy got up, walked over toDavid's bed and lifted the
(25:42):
pillow, knowing what she wasgoing to find the small red
plastic purse, david's treasures.
She looked inside.
The Plutonium Joe figurine wasthere, and everything else.
Everything except the librarycard.
Oh bother, said Pooh.
David forgot his treasures.
Maybe he'll come back for them.
Silly old bear, said Piglet,he's not coming back, not ever.
(26:07):
She knew then David hadn't runaway at all.
Something bad had happened tohim, something very, very bad,
and it was the Oozle Carl whodid it.
Sammy pulled David's blue hoodiefrom the floor, put it on,
zipped it and stuffed poo andpiglet inside next to her
stomach, then tucked the bottominto her shorts so they wouldn't
(26:28):
fall out.
She grabbed the remainingtreasures and crammed them into
the jacket pockets, feelingsomething gritty in the corners
of the pockets Cookie crumbs.
She put her ear against thedoor, listening.
Then she pulled the librarycard from her pocket and slid it
into the crack of the door andturned the doorknob, just as
she'd watched David do so manytimes.
Before Easing the door open,she crept into the hallway
(26:51):
careful, oh so careful not tomake a sound, but it wasn't hard
.
She was Sammy the Silent.
After all.
Gina lay belly down on the couchasleep.
Carl lay sprawled out on thefloor.
Sammy tiptoed past them, openedthe front door, stepped out
into the darkness and closed thedoor behind her.
It was then that she noticedthe lock, the one that Gina had
(27:13):
put on the outside of the door.
Sammy stretched, but shecouldn't quite reach.
On the opposite side of theporch sat a large stack of
newspapers tied with a piece oftwine.
She pulled them over to thedoor, climbed on top, then
reached up and slid the lockinto place.
It was the first time she'dever been on the other side of
that sound.
She pushed her hands into thepockets of the jacket, wondering
(27:35):
which one of David's treasuresshe could use next, when fingers
closed on the matchbook and hereyes fell to the bundle of
newspapers in front of the doorBurn, it said Pooh, burn, it
said Piglet.
Burn, it said Plutonium.
Joe and Sammy struck the match.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
It took me way too long into listening to realize
that we were actually talkingabout Winnie the Pooh characters
.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Well, I wasn't super familiar with.
Obviously I am now because ofthis story, but I didn't grow up
with like watching Winnie thePooh, Like I know who Winnie the
Pooh is.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, he's the big yellow bear.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
But I didn't know about, like the H, hufflumps
yeah, the hufflumps are integralI knew about the puffalumps
what's a puffalump?
Those are stuffed animals fromthe 90s oh god no but I didn't,
if you want true horror?
Look up puffalump no, but Ididn't know about the hufflumps.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Okay, so tell us what you thought of the story uh, it
seems more of like this is apsychotic coping mechanism.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
As opposed to actual abilities, Like do you think
she's really seeing these things?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, I think if you are in a situation where you are
being abused, especially as achild, you dissociate, you have
moments of seeing things.
I think all of this is truefrom the child's perspective.
Yes.
And I love how it translatessomething like the powers of a
(29:06):
superhero into something thatfeels that is horrifying in a
real world way, and I thinkthere's a lot of power in that
in this story.
I find this story to beincredibly effective.
I think it conjures a scenethat's so dark and difficult to
sit with and then gives us sucha satisfying and liberating
(29:29):
ending, and I love it for that.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
It really reminded me of we haven't seen the Boys.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
No.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
One of the antagonists in the Boys.
His name is Black Noir.
You know he never speaks.
He's kind of like the broodingBatman type character but he
never.
You know he never speaks andyou find out much later into the
series of why.
And that's because he has heavy, heavy brain damage.
And when we finally go from hisperspective he sees a bunch of
animated cartoon characterswalking him through all these
(29:54):
like horrific, murderous thingsthat he's doing.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
But it's that kind of vibe.
It's the juxtaposition betweenhappy childhood, go-lucky
characters and telling you tocommit horrible acts of violence
.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Well, I think these are not happy child.
In neither case are these happy, go-lucky childhood characters.
These are children that areforced into horrifying
situations.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
No, no, I'm saying what she sees.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Oh, like the Hufflepuffs.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,sure, sure, yes, right, and yes,
I agree with you.
Yeah, totally yeah, I love thisstory and this is from a writer
who we've never featured on thepodcast before, so I want to
take a second to tell you alittle bit about Nikki Lynn
Blakely, who lives in the SanFrancisco Bay Area.
Nikki enjoys.
Her work has appeared inUncharted Sundial Magazine,
(30:44):
bright Flash, literary Review,luna Station Quarterly and many
more.
Her works also appeared in thefollowing anthologies Between
the Covers 72 Hours of Insanity,v9, writer Games, dim and
Flaring Lamps and the podcastTelltale TV in the Gallery of
Curiosities.
So definitely check those outif you'd like to explore more of
her work.
(31:04):
You can also read more atNikkiBlakelycom, which, of
course, we will link, and followher at nblakely99 on Twitter.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I really like this story.
I think it fit right in withthe series and I look forward to
hearing more from her.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yeah, I'm a real big fan of this piece and I'm
excited and hope that Nikkisubmits more.
And, of course, this story wasnarrated for us by Sarah Luke,
our dear friend, sarah Luke,longtime friend of Lunatics.
You can follow Sarah Luke onInstagram at Sarah Luke 25.
And, of course, we will linkthat as well below.
Sarah has such a beautifulnarration voice and I think it
brought the story to life in aperfect way for this I agree.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
And I think we have one last story to round it out.
We have one last story.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Let's roll the tape story to round it out.
We have one last story.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Let's roll the tape.
The Undertaker Ren and Ren byDenali Martell.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
And three, two, one.
The redhead with the clipboardcounted down the seconds on
stubby fingers, you're on.
Gianni took a deep breath,shaking out his shoulders.
The stagehand looked at himcuriously.
Are you nervous?
If I was, would you hold itagainst me?
He laughed.
(32:19):
The kid grinned, scruffyeyebrows arching high on his
freckled forehead.
No, it's just.
He blushed, beet red, clutchinghis clipboard tighter.
You're, you know you.
Everyone has their weakness.
Gianni smiled, flipping thecumbersome cape over one
shoulder.
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, I never thought I'd getthe chance to meet someone like
(32:42):
you.
I've always lived here.
And this the boys' gushing fadedinto white noise as Gianni's
attention shifted to the stagedoor.
And with that, please put yourhands together for our hometown
hero, the Undertaker.
Blinding flashes flickered inGianni's periphery as he stepped
onto the plywood stage andshook the proffered hands,
(33:04):
working his way down the lineuntil he stood behind the podium
.
He gripped the edges betweenwhite-knuckled fingers and
slowly raised his head, takingin the sea of upturned faces.
Thank you for coming out today.
He glanced down at the notecard someone had arranged neatly
for him.
I hear traffic on the I-75 isno joke.
(33:25):
A polite handful of chucklesbarely graced the lips of the
horde before a deluge ofquestions poured forth.
Is it true that the Piranhanearly had you on the ropes?
Well, I wouldn't say.
Were you able to find out wherethe clan will strike next?
We don't know for sure, but ourteam is working on a strategy
to identify threats.
Before A woman in a blue suitshoved her way to the front of
(33:47):
the crowd, thrusting amicrophone towards his face.
The people of New Jersey wantto know how do you plan to
address the accusations thatyour missions cause more harm
than good to our community?
Gianni laughed, feeling thesound trickle down his throat
like poison.
Uh, undertaker, were you awarethat one in ten people think
(34:07):
your actions against the Piranhawere unnecessarily violent?
Gianni glanced at the gap in thestage door, catching a glimpse
of his harried publicist.
Uh, that's an interestingquestion, Undertaker.
Now that the Incinerator hasretired, will you be taking over
his position as head of theboard'.
Gianni began scratching theinside of his wrist through the
(34:30):
sleeve of his suit.
"'that will be a question forthe acting head, carter Br—'
"'What will be done with thepiranha's remains?
"'will they be studied orburied'.
Gianni began to scratch harder,tugging at the stiff spandex.
"'i'm sorry, I'm not at libertyto say.
He glanced back at his sweatypublicist, violently motioning
(34:51):
him towards the exit.
Are there any further?
Undertaker, would you care toelaborate on the statement you
made after your last press?
Undertaker, what do you think?
Undertaker, did you?
Undertaker, undertaker,undertaker?
Gianni's eyes glazed over,drifting from the clamoring mass
of reporters to the poster onhis right, plastered over an
(35:12):
image of a hulking man in atattered wetsuit.
Was the word Conquered?
He studied the gills thatpeeked out from his high collar,
tracked the faint shimmer ofscales at his wrists and temples
and scratched his own wristharder.
No more questions.
The voice of Jace, hispublicist, snapped Gianni out of
his reverie.
He felt arms clap around hisshoulders, hauling him toward
(35:34):
the stage door.
Thanks so much for ah, fuck it,that was a fucking bloodbath.
What did I tell you aboutanswering a question with a
question?
Jace paced the length of thesmall trailer.
It's like you don't listen to aword I say.
You'd think I was the worstgoddamn publicist in the solar
system.
He stopped in front of Gianni,fixing him with a hard stare,
(35:57):
which I am not.
He wiped his narrow foreheadfurther, dislodging his already
slipping toupee.
I know for a fact thatpublicists on Mars are
criminally undertrained.
Gianni stared down at his hands,digging a nail into the inside
of his wrist.
Jace paused halfway to thebedroom and glanced at him,
frowning Gee, are you gettingany of this?
(36:18):
Gianni startled shaking hishead and tugging his sleeve down
.
Yeah, jace, I got it.
Jace palmed his forehead andstalked over, gripping him by
the biceps.
Hey, hey, listen to me, you arethe fucking Undertaker.
Why are you letting theseidiots push you around?
Huh, he clapped him on theshoulder, leaning in until their
(36:39):
foreheads touched.
You are the champion of the USA.
You did what no one else coulddo.
He poked a finger into Gianni'schest, lowering his voice.
You cut off the fucking snake'shead.
Yeah, jace leaned back, pattinghis cheek gently.
The army, the feds, the fuckingmarines they didn't know what
(37:01):
the fuck to do.
But you.
You came out of Dallas like afucking messiah and clocked not
one, not two he counted on hisfingers but three grade-A
supervillains.
Gianni grimaced yeah, jace, I no, no, you don't know.
G?
Jace groaned, pacing backacross the trailer.
(37:21):
If you knew, you wouldn't beletting the paparazzi make a
fool out of you on your fuckingvictory lap.
Gianni chafed his wrist againstthe side of his pant leg.
I know, man, I'm sorry.
Jace's expression softened.
Don't apologize to me, okay, Idon't like it when you do that,
okay, uh, I'm sorry.
(37:42):
I said don't fucking do that,okay.
Jace's stern expression crackeda smile, lifting the corners of
his lips.
Here, just.
He grabbed a bottle of waterfrom the mini-fridge and passed
it over awkwardly Drink this.
Gianni.
Took the bottle.
I'll see you in ten for the fanmeet and greet.
(38:02):
Jace walked to the door thenpaused, hand on the knob.
Give yourself some credit, kid.
You took out a metal man, abitch with wings and some
motherfucker with teeth the sizeof your hands, and you haven't
got a scratch on you.
Kids your age, with no powersand half your brains, walk
(38:23):
around acting like they'reinvincible.
Well, you actually are.
So fucking, act like it.
The door slammed shut behindJace and Gianni hung his head.
He unscrewed the water bottleand turned the cap over between
his thumb and forefinger.
He sighed, screwed it back onand tossed the bottle aside.
The sound of Jace's voicefiltered from behind the trailer
door.
Yeah, he's just taking a minute, he's good.
(38:45):
Gianni stood and walked towardthe bedroom, pulling back the
door, only to reveal that thequilt was covered in gift
baskets and swag bags.
He groaned and sat in the oneempty corner.
No, he's fine, I told you.
Gianni slid the door shut,muffling the conversation.
He leaned forward, resting hiselbows on his knees, and pulled
(39:06):
back the sleeve of his suit toreveal a patch of scales
bursting from beneath thereddened skin of his inner wrist
.
He winced, running a tentativefinger over the iridescent
flecks.
They sparkled in the dim light,like so many sharpened daggers.
He reached for the hem of histop and pulled it over his head.
The fabric slid past hisshoulders, revealing the tips of
(39:29):
fins arching along his elbowsin rough ridges that broke the
skin.
Scales freckled the back of hisneck, cresting the nubs of
wings that punched throughthrobbing wounds on his shoulder
blades.
He stretched and a few ebonyfeathers peeled themselves from
the festering gashes soaked inblood and pus.
Twisted metal molded a pathdown his spine, curling and
(39:53):
weaving across his back in apatchwork of scarred flesh and
steel Bruises stained his skin,a kaleidoscope of colors
blooming from the jagged sets oftooth marks mangling nearly
every inch of his torso.
He let his shirt slip from hisfingers to the floor.
Fine, he muttered.
Gianni is fine.
(40:15):
He stood, slowly clearing thebaskets and totes from the
bedspread and slid the mattressaside.
Beneath the wooden slots of theframe, neat rows of boxes were
arranged end to end, eachlabeled in thick black letters.
He brushed his fingers over thetote labeled GARGOIL, filled
with a handful of black feathersand, man OF STEEL, with a vial
(40:37):
of silver liquid encased instyrofoam.
He pulled a black bag from thecorner, where it lay tucked
against the headboard, and tooka pair of pliers and a plastic
bag from the inner pocket.
Carefully, he clamped thepliers onto a single scale and
tugged.
There was a knock at the doorand Jace's voice cut through the
silence Gianni.
(40:57):
Gianni ignored the summons,gripping the pliers harder and
twisting.
The tiny protrusion clung tohis body, loathed to let go.
Gee, come on, kid.
Gianni gave the pliers a finalyank and the scale pulled free,
ripping a chunk of skin awaywith it.
He hissed in pain as bloodbegan to trickle down his arm.
(41:19):
Shit.
He opened the small bag anddropped the scale inside,
zipping it shut.
Are you asleep?
There's no time for a nap.
Gianni dropped the plastic baginto an empty box labeled
Piranha and replaced the pliers,sliding the mattress back into
place.
Give me a minute, jace, I'mcoming.
He reached for his shirt,quickly slipping it back on.
(41:40):
I've got five minutes to getyou in the tent or a bunch of
snot-nosed toddlers will have myhead.
Gianni shook out his shouldersand closed his eyes.
Gianni's fine, I'm fine.
He exhaled a shaky breath andreached for the door.
His hand met the cool brass ofthe knob and slipped right off.
Gee, get your ass out here.
(42:02):
He took another long breath,trying to settle his quickening
pulse, and reached again for thehandle.
Again, his hand refused toclose, sliding uselessly off the
metal handle.
It felt slippery, slimy.
A shudder ran down his spineand the flightless wings at his
(42:24):
back fluttered with unease.
Ran down his spine and theflightless wings at his back
fluttered with unease.
Slowly, gianni opened his eyesand raised his hand to his face.
Each finger was glued to thenext, swallowed in a web of
(42:44):
bluish skin.
A fin, gianni screamed.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
This story was written and narrated by Denali
Bartel, who, of course, asalways, did such a lovely job
for this episode, and it wasreally cool to be able to
feature some of Denali's work onthe podcast in this way.
I think this is the first timethat we have a story written by
Denali to share.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Also, denali really hit the nail on the head with
the true horror of superheroesand that is politics and press
images.
Just getting scrutinized by thepress is a trope that's
becoming more and more popularbecause we try to juxtapose
superheroes into our modernsociety and it just doesn't fly.
(43:27):
No pun intended, because, yeah,these people act outside the
law and they.
You know you can't makeeveryone happy, but you kind of
have to because the idea of badpress is unthinkable.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean it is something you seea lot, especially with Batman,
but I'm sure with other seriestoo, and you know X-Men or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
You really should watch the Boys.
Okay, it's perfect.
Superhero horror.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
So you know I'm going to pitch you on this real quick
.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Okay, tell me.
I'm not going to watch it, buttell me.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
So the premise of the Boys is that there's
superheroes.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, you know and they're boys.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
No, oh, it's kind of like a simulacrum for the
Justice League.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
OK.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
They're called the seven and you know they save the
world and keep everyone safe,but they're really just a bunch
of corporate puppets and all thesaving that they do is
orchestrated, because they'rereally just horrible, horrible
people, because they'reeffectively living gods and they
don't have to answer anyoneexcept their corporate overlords
(44:29):
.
For them, press events andapproval ratings and merch sales
are everything Fascinating, andso the boys are just a group of
everyday people that say we'vehad enough and try really hard
to kill them.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Oh, that's kind of a fun premise.
It's so fun and try really hardto kill them.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Oh that's kind of a fun premise, it's so fun.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
I actually think the Undertaker, who is the obviously
the main character here, is abit more sympathetic than that
right.
He's clearly less tied up inhis image as his manager is.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Well, but that's where the horror comes in.
He's trying to, you know, cleanup the streets but you know you
can't make it on withoutbreaking some eggs.
That's his tagline and that'swhy you know other superhero
mythos have like licensed heroes, people that have gone through
training to minimize casualties.
If you're trying to destroy therampaging robot, there's only
(45:18):
so many safe ways to do that.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah, I love the story, love the ending Thought.
It was really well written andit was really fun.
It's always really fun for mewhen the narrator narrates their
own story, because you sort ofsee it brought to life in
exactly the way they envisionedit.
So it was really cool to recordlive with Denali and to watch
as they recorded their own work.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
And also just a little tick on a body horror at
the end there.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yeah, something a little fun and juicy to kind of
spice it up.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Yeah, something a little fun and juicy to kind of
spice it up.
Yeah, you know, you never knowwhen powers go awry.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
You never know.
Thank you so much to all of ourwriters and narrators and, fun
fact actually, so our threenarrators today were actually
all included in the audio dramathat we kicked off the summer
with a few episodes ago BerkeyFamily Vacation.
So if you have not listened tothat it's short, it's about five
minutes I would love.
If you have not listened tothat it's short, it's about five
(46:06):
minutes I would love if youwould go back and listen to it.
It was so fun to put together.
It's very thematic for summer,so it's a perfect time to listen
to it.
And also, quick announcement,the series is not over yet.
We are going to have one morespontaneous episode on superhero
horror.
What?
Don't worry, alan, you havenothing to do.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
What do you mean?
I love this series.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
I'm planning a solo episode.
How dare you.
Deep diving into the history ofSpring-Heeled Jack because I
could not get enough.
I was so interested and therewas so much more to say and I
did a bunch of extra researchand I was like there's a lot to
share here.
So one more episode comingabout, Spring-Heeled Jack, and
then we will pivot back into ourregularly scheduled program.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, Well, I'm going to do my own episode on
Spring-Heeled Jack without you.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Great, would love that.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Not going to release it.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Oh, that will be all for nothing, then, as always,
thank you all so much for beinghere.
Thank you for listening.
Stay spooky, stay safe, andwe'll talk to you soon.
Bye, bye, bye.
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