Lunatics Library 49 - Friday The 13th Inspired Horror Stories

This week Abby and Alan present four modern day horror stories, all in some ways inspired by or adjacent to the Friday the 13th film franchise. 

Belly Bees was written by Sam Logan and narrated by Kate Rotunda. Follow Sam at samloganwrites.com. 

No Signal was written by Warren Benedetto and narrated by Mike Macera. Follow Warren at https://warrenbenedetto.com. 

The Lake was written by Jay D. Falcetti and narrated by Sara Luke. Follow Jay at @jdfalcetti and Sara at @saraluke25 on Instagram. 

Aluminum Canoes was written by Zachary Taylor and narrated by Peter Papazoglou. 

Get Lunatics Merch here. Join the discussion on Discord. Check out Abby's book Horror Stories. Available in eBook and paperback. Music by Michaela Papa, Alan Kudan & Jordan Moser. Poster Art by Pilar Keprta @pilar.kep.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_02 (00:17):
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the
conclusion of our epic four-partseries, all diving into the
history of Friday the 13th.
I'm Abby Branker, sitting herewith Alan Kudan.

SPEAKER_03 (00:30):
Hello.

SPEAKER_02 (00:30):
And today we have four haunting, Friday the 13th
inspired horror stories to sharewith you.

SPEAKER_07 (00:37):
Instead of haunting, dare I say campy?

SPEAKER_02 (00:40):
Campy, yes.

SPEAKER_07 (00:41):
Because you know, summer camp.

SPEAKER_02 (00:44):
Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_07 (00:45):
Yeah, it's a joke.

SPEAKER_02 (00:46):
Plus Jason is pretty campy.

SPEAKER_07 (00:47):
Sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 (00:48):
Yeah.
A lot of the time.

SPEAKER_07 (00:50):
Most of the time.

SPEAKER_02 (00:50):
Do you think Friday the 13th is the campiest slasher
franchise?

SPEAKER_07 (00:54):
With franchises like Chucky and Scream that either
are made to be incredibly sillyand campy, or leprechauns.
You know, like these are justsilly, goofy movies that were
never ever supposed to be takenseriously.
Whereas Friday the 13th is kindof a roller coaster where some

(01:15):
are very serious, some areincredibly silly.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19):
It's kind of the fun of it.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20):
Yeah, but you know, unlike Halloween, when it gets
too silly, they reboot thefranchise and make it like dark
and gritty all over again.
Yeah.
Which honestly rarely works.
I love when franchises get moreand more off the rails.
And when they do a reboot, itshould be for the right reasons,

(01:41):
where it's many years later,technology has advanced, they
keep it true to the sourcematerial, but make it for a bit
more of a modern audience.
You know, maybe there's someproblematic things that didn't
age well and they wanna theywant to redo it for you know uh
uh to today's audience.
I mean, as we talked about in uhthe last one, the Friday the

(02:03):
13th reboot did not do that.

SPEAKER_02 (02:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (02:05):
But that's okay.
Not not everything has to.

SPEAKER_02 (02:08):
Fair enough.
But we are here today to roundout our series by featuring four
modern day Friday the 13thinspired stories.
And as always, these kind of uhvary in degree of adjacency to
Friday the 13th, but let's seewhat we pull from some of them
as we go.

SPEAKER_07 (02:24):
I want to preface this and that these are not fr
these are not Friday the 13thfanfiction as much as I wanted
it to be.
I mean, I I wrote my romanticywith you know Jason and Michael,
but that's not being featuredtoday.

SPEAKER_02 (02:38):
It's too explicit.

SPEAKER_07 (02:39):
That's true.
But these are a camp summerteenslasher, adjacent.

SPEAKER_02 (02:45):
Yeah, I think that's mostly right.
There's some wild cards inthere, but that's mostly the
theme.
Yeah.
We'll we'll kind of leavesomething up to the imagination.
I also just don't we always Ijust also want to say I'll give
a content warning ahead ofparticularly dark ones, but just
keep in mind these aremodern-day horror stories.
They are graphic to varyingdegrees.

(03:05):
They, you know, some of them gothere, and we will call that out
before we play the tapes.
So to kick things off, we arefeaturing a story from Sam
Logan, and this is his firsttime being featured on the
Lunatics Radio Hour podcast.
As promised, I do want to saythat this story contains body
horror, drowning, menstruation,and bigotry.
But without further ado, let'stake a listen.

SPEAKER_01 (03:42):
No one invited me to the pool party, but I arrived
anyway with a beehive belly fullof bees.
I had no intention of swimming,so I left my bathing suit at
home.
Anyway, the only bikini I rockedwas Bikini Kill.
All the main players were there,the Henderson twins, Mallory and
Melody, along with the dregs ofCascade Valley High School, who
were my torturers, tormentors,and terrorizers over the past
four years.
Yeah, yeah, who wants to hearanother sad story of a bullied

(04:05):
girl in high school?
Well, sit the fuck down and getcomfortable because you're gonna
want to hear this.
I rode my bike across town andtook the paved paths that
connected our little shoppingdistrict on Main Street to the
surrounding sprawl of theneighborhoods.
Stashing my bike in the patch oftrees behind the Henderson's
house, I crouched at the edge ofthe foliage and remained hidden.
I wore black pants, blackchucks, and a black minor threat
t-shirt of their yellow albumcover.

(04:26):
Sardonic wardrobe for my planstonight, both in threat level
and color scheme.
A dusty pink dusk lingered inthe summer evening.
The graduation party had movedinto the no adults phase.
The twins' parents were the kindto buy alcohol for everyone so
long as no one drove home.
This wasn't the first partywhere my invitation got lost in
the mail.
Classmates splashed about inassembly-lined beers to one
another from several coolers.

(04:47):
I was almost sorry to ruin theirperfect night.
Almost.
My obsession with bees beganwhen I was 10 years old.
I stepped on a bumblebee in theclover patch of our backyard.
A painful pin prick shot into myheel.
The sensation dulled for a bitbut came roaring back several
minutes later when anaphylacticshock set in.
Raised fire engine red hivesbloomed across my pale skin.
Throat tightened and breastbecame ragged.

(05:08):
My mom was generally preparedfor any common childhood illness
or injury.
She shot my thigh full ofepinephrine with an auto
injector pen.
The summertime memory broughtback the scent of freshly cut
grass and bone-dry dirt.
The bumblebee's venoms flowedinto my veins long after I fully
recovered.
A hot tingle like the sizzle ofa low-grade electrical current
carried through my circulatorysystem.
It never quite dissipated.

(05:28):
I hardly noticed the slightvibrating of my bones until I
helped my dad in the yard thefollowing summer.
The bone whirring intensified aswe approached a beehive in a
tree hollow.
The bodies of the bees buzzedinside the hive.
It was like they spoke to me.
At first, the intonations andchanging frequencies meshed into
a blurred soundscape that buriedinto my eardrums.
It was like a secret code,garbled at first until it

(05:48):
clicked and comprehension cameall at once.
It took me a while, but Ilearned how to communicate with
them.
Eventually, our minds meldedinto a single hive like the
cybernetic Borg in Star Trek TheNext Generation.
My dad loved that show.
I got my first period the dayafter I turned 12 years old.
Despite my mom having the talkwith me, I still felt like
something wasn't right.
My body felt bloated with bees.

(06:09):
I don't know how they got inthere, but I could feel them
moving inside me.
My suspicions were confirmedwhen I found a dead bee in the
blood-soaked sanitary pad.
The bees told me I needed torelease them from their
unnatural captivity.
Riding my bike into the woods onthe perimeter of town, I opened
my mouth wide.
They sensed their path tofreedom and then a massive swarm
escaped up and out from mybelly.
Their little legs crawled up myesophagus and their beating

(06:32):
wings strummed my trachea asthey flew from darkness and into
the light of day.
But they didn't fly away andabandon me.
They hovered and waited for myinstruction, imprinted on me
like ducklings to their mother.
I commanded them to go forthinto the world, yet to return to
me when I called, and so theydid.
And once a month I made theperiodic pilgrimage to birth my
beautiful bees.
I spent the dog days of the nextseveral summers performing field

(06:54):
experiments and testinghypotheses about my abilities.
I knew all about the scientificmethod from biology class, my
favorite course.
Subjecting myself to gradualexposures of insect repellents,
I developed armor against myadversarial aerosols.
Refining my knowledge andexpanding my abilities, I
learned how to command them.
Every bee species I hadencountered was absorbed into
our hive mind.

(07:14):
Did you know there are over20,000 species of bees?
Incredible.
My body changed, and not in thetypical adolescent changes that
you might be thinking about.
I mean, those happened too, butso did other things.
I developed one hell of a sweettooth donuts, MMs, ice cream.
It was beyond a craving and morelike a drive for survival.
My skin sprouted a layer ofblonde peach fuzz.

(07:34):
The wispy covering was subtleenough that no one else seemed
to notice.
Or maybe no one looked at meclosely enough.
I didn't sprout wings oranything like that, but my DNA
changed.
That's not just a guess either.
I stayed after school one dayand visited the biolab.
I stuck myself with a sterilizedsafety pin until a drop of
bright red blood dripped onto amicroscope slide.
Cells shaped like honeycombsstared back at me through the
eyepiece lens, sick.

(07:56):
I never considered wielding mypower over the bees for
nefarious purposes until I sawmy girl in seventh grade, a
coming-of-age story centered onthe pre-adolescent boy and girl.
Spoiler alert, come on, themovie came out in 1991.
Macaulay Culkin, the boy, diedfrom anaphylactic shock after
bees attacked him when hereturned to the willow tree
where he and Anna Klumsky, thegirl, shared their first kiss.
Oh, the waterworks flowed.

(08:16):
It was the first movie I criedwatching.
Big, heaving sobs all by myselfin the living room while my
parents slept upstairs.
I learned two very importantthings about myself that night.
First, I was most definitely notnormal.
I wanted to kiss Anna Klumskywith every fiber of my
angst-filled middle school girlbody and soul.
Okay, I was queer.
There, I said it.
I didn't fully understand whatthis meant at the time, but I

(08:38):
had a vague sense of it.
Second, my dominion over beescould be used to protect me if I
ever got into a stickysituation.
It all started when theHenderson twins caught me making
out with Amanda in a graffitiedstall in the girls' bathroom on
the second floor of our highschool.
So engrossed in our own tongueflicking, we neglected to hear
their incessant chatter at themirror fixing their stupid
faces.
Mallory kicked the stall dooroff its hinges.

(08:58):
Well look what we got here,Melody said.
A couple of dykes caught in thewild, Mallory teased.
Mostly annoyed with herarbitrary use of the derogatory
term, I grabbed Amanda's handand pushed past them.
Mallory stuck her leg out and myfoot caught it before I had the
chance to react.
I went down hard.
Fuck off, losers.
I peeled myself off the grimyfloor with what little dignity I
had left.
We escaped, but the damage wasbasically done.

(09:19):
Word traveled fast in our ruralIdaho town near the Oregon
border.
Despite support of parents, ourclassmates were ruthless in
their mockery.
Amanda stopped talking to me andsomehow managed to reinsert
herself into a middle-tiersocial clique.
I wasn't so lucky.
Doomed to the outermost fringesof high school society.
The celebratory pool partysynced up with precise timing to
when my next batch of brood beeswere ready for release.

(09:42):
I also brought along somefriends, the millions of bees in
our hive mind.
Some of them would die afterstinging, while others would
survive.
They were willing to sacrificetheir lives in service of their
keeper.
Papery wings flapped and rustledtree leaves, the buzzing
bludgeoned my eardrums, but Ididn't mind.
I stepped out from the cover oftrees and slow walked like Jason
Voorhees or Michael Myers untilI reached the Henderson's

(10:02):
unfenced backyard.
Where were all my slow walkingslasher girlies at anyway?
Women slashers never have thaticonic strut.
Missed opportunity.
Standing with my arms out to myside in a mock crucifixion,
hoping to scare the bee Jesusout of the partygoers, hundreds
of bees crawled along my bodyand swarmed into a massive cloud
above me, darkening the skyfurther and casting the inground
pool into a black shadow.

(10:23):
I waited for my cue.
What the fuck?
Molly screamed above thesplashing and laughing.
Get out of here, lesbo freak,Mallory yelled from the diving
board.
All seven classmates stared insilence as they took in the full
scene.
I didn't say a word.
I wasn't going to give them thesatisfaction of an afterschool
special sob story about how theyhurt my feelings.
A sly smile curled upward on myface, then changed into a gaping

(10:45):
maw that released my belly fullof bees.
They escaped in a frenzied fury.
Bitches get stingers.
The dark maelstrom of wingedwarriors descended upon their
prey.
They swarmed my otherclassmates, first making sure
the twins witnessed the fatethey were about to experience.
Sure, each of them were stungseveral times, but we also left
them alone after they collapsedthe ground and writhed in pain.

(11:05):
The twins tried to run, but weoverwhelmed them before they had
the chance to get off theconcrete pool deck.
Stingers sunk into their skin.
Wisely, they jumped into thepool for cover, but our swarm
had several species in it,including African honeybees.
These bees are known forstalking their prey.
They waited patiently until thetwins came up for a breath of
air, then stung again.
A smathering of dead beeslithered the pool deck.

(11:26):
Were the Henderson twins worthyof final girl status?
Could they muster the fortitudeto fight back and stop me?
Nope.
Maybe it was because they weretwins.
Has there ever been two finalgirls?
I don't think so.
The twins would not make historytonight.
I didn't press my luck and stayany longer.
I wasn't worried about gettingcaught.
Who would believe the storyanyway?
I slow walked it back to thepatch of trees, hopped on my
bike, and rode off into thesunset.

(11:47):
Was it worth it?
I don't know, man.
Maybe?
I mean, I didn't know theHenderson twins were allergic to
bees.
So yeah, I regret it.
But hey, my teenage brain wasn'tfully formed, so what do you
want from me?
Apparently they went intoanaphylactic shock while in the
pool and drowned.
Our classmates were helplesstowards the twins, passed out in
the grass of the Henderson'sbackyard.
They got off relatively easy.
Messed up, but at least theylived, I guess.

(12:08):
What do you want me to say?
That my righteous revenge feltgood and I lived happily ever
after?
Not quite.
I felt guilty.
They didn't deserve to die.
But not guilty enough to turnmyself in or anything stupid
like that.
I was still different.
I didn't fit in.
Not in any high school socialcircle, nor my rural town filled
with people that I cared deeplyabout, but everywhere.
Kids like me were abandoned along time ago.

(12:30):
All of us who didn't fit into aneat mold of expectations all
always struggle.
But I hope getting out of thistown will give me a chance to
start over.
Begin a new life, find mypeople, build a hive.

SPEAKER_02 (12:46):
I love this story.
I love Kate's narration of thisstory.
There's so much to talk about,but Alan, tell this is your
first time listening, so tell mewhat you think.

SPEAKER_07 (12:54):
I hate to say it.
This is my favorite story in along time.

SPEAKER_02 (12:58):
Yeah.
Really good.

SPEAKER_07 (12:59):
It's a great story.
Killer narration.

SPEAKER_02 (13:02):
Yeah, Kate knocked it out of the park.

SPEAKER_07 (13:05):
I honestly had no idea it was Kate.

SPEAKER_02 (13:07):
Our friend Kate, who's going to be featured in
some upcoming episodes.
So keep your ears tuned if youliked what you heard.

SPEAKER_07 (13:13):
Kate has been a longtime collaborator on
Lunatics.
She she helms our um RDdepartment.

SPEAKER_02 (13:18):
She does a lot of research.
She writes a lot of articles forus online.
Definitely head tolunaticsproject.com.
You can look up all the articleswritten by Kate.
She has such incrediblyinteresting topics that she
writes about.
I'm such a fan of her.

SPEAKER_07 (13:32):
Regardless of Kate's incredible talent.
Belly Bees slaps.

SPEAKER_02 (13:37):
Belly Bee slaps, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (13:39):
So fun.
It's half ginger snaps, halfcarry in with a lot of bees.

SPEAKER_02 (13:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (13:46):
It's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_02 (13:47):
Yeah, it is.
It is.
That's a really good way tocharacterize it.

SPEAKER_07 (13:50):
Yeah.
Why is it though that so manylike because they it's it's kind
of self-aware talking aboutslasher villains, especially
like when they're, you know,women, they they just it it it's
not even remotely the same.
You know, women antagonists aretreated so differently than
male.
I'm trying to think of like afemale slasher.

SPEAKER_02 (14:13):
Slasher specific- I mean uh Pamela Voorhees.

SPEAKER_07 (14:39):
Sure, but that's like that's a misdirection.
Yes, slasher.

SPEAKER_02 (14:43):
I mean she's a female slasher.

SPEAKER_07 (14:45):
She's a female slasher, but the whole point is
you don't think it's a woman thewhole time.

SPEAKER_02 (14:49):
How are you characterizing slasher?
Like she has to have a meleeweapon?
It's just I don't know, likeJennifer from Jennifer's body is
a sure hands-on.
Like I think of Carrie as kindof like, you know, it's
telekinetic, so she's not likeshe doesn't have the you know,
the act of doing something withher hands to physically kill
someone, but Jennifer does.

SPEAKER_07 (15:09):
Yeah, I guess Jennifer's body would be the
closest.
It's so tricky though, becauselike when you think slasher
villain, yeah, it's a big dudethat does the slow walk, that
he's like this unstoppablejuggernaut.

SPEAKER_03 (15:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (15:24):
No matter what, no matter what you do, you can't
you you you just have to runfrom this guy.
Uh, and you just you don'ttypically see that with women
being the antagonist, which isinteresting.
I think it's a reallyinteresting thing to explore.
The in this story touched on itthough, there was like a a
correlation between like herhaving her period for the first
time and like her manifestingbees.

SPEAKER_02 (15:45):
It's kind of like this like a classic idea of what
a poltergeist is.
Like, there's a there's a theoryin some paranormal circles that
we talked about this in theEnfield poltergeist episode from
many years ago.
There's some actual theoriesthat okay, if you have a
poltergeist activity in a house,maybe it's just the energy from
like kids and I think especiallygirls going through puberty.

(16:07):
Like that energy is so intensethat it cranks into something
paranormal.
And that's kind of what thisreminds me of a little bit.

SPEAKER_07 (16:14):
That is 100% written by a man.

SPEAKER_02 (16:16):
I think you bought into that theory pretty hard
during that episode.

SPEAKER_07 (16:19):
There's no way, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 (16:21):
Let's talk a little bit about Sam.
Sam Logan emerged in 1984 fromthe depths of the Chesapeake Bay
off the Maryland shore.
He made it to Oregon, where heis a university professor in
kinesiology and teaches coursesabout punk and body horror.

SPEAKER_07 (16:35):
I'm sorry, what is kinesiology?

SPEAKER_02 (16:37):
I only actually know this because of all my dance
friends.
Kinesiology, I believe, is thestudy of the human body and
movement.
Cool.
I remember like all my collegefriends had to take kinesiology
classes who are dance majors.

SPEAKER_07 (16:50):
That's fun.

SPEAKER_02 (16:51):
Sam lives with his partner, Kiddo, and Dune the
Dog.
He has stories in MouthfeelFiction, Punk Noir magazine,
Divinations magazine, MajorSeventh magazine, Underbelly
Press, and Wall Strait, amongothers.
You can check outSamloganRights.com, and of
course, we will link that in thedescription of this episode.
Sam and Kate, thank you so much.
This was such a fun way to kickoff this episode.

SPEAKER_07 (17:13):
I know we're supposed to move on, but I don't
want to because I love thestory.

SPEAKER_02 (17:17):
Tell us what you have to say.

SPEAKER_07 (17:18):
Using insects to kill is just pretty cool.
It's pretty badass.
Uh it's it's something I thinkthat was like underexplored.
Like, I don't know, the onlything that comes to mind is
Candyman.

SPEAKER_02 (17:28):
Or the mummy, the Brandon Fraser mummy, those
little scarabs that would go inthe city.
Sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (17:32):
Exactly.
Like killing with insects isfreaking cool.
I don't like it.

SPEAKER_02 (17:36):
Yeah, because you have like a visceral reaction to
it.

SPEAKER_07 (17:39):
And then I I I really thought about ginger
snaps while listening to thisstory because your antagonist,
protagonist, anti-hero, whateveryou want to call them, is smart
and relatable.
And you they make intelligentdecisions that you don't
typically associate with likethe the the slasher villain.

SPEAKER_02 (17:59):
Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_07 (18:00):
And I don't know.
It's it was just fun.
It was a really great story.

SPEAKER_02 (18:03):
It was super fun.
I totally agree.
And that's to bring it back, whyI love the Friday the 13th
franchise so much.
It's fun.
I feel like it's not, I've saidthis a million times on the
series, but it's not as scary asother slasher franchises, but I
enjoyed watching each movie somuch.
And to me, this story has thatsame energy.

SPEAKER_07 (18:21):
I mean, yeah, it's not as terrifying as Leprechaun.

SPEAKER_02 (18:24):
True.
True.
I mean, Leprechaun got me thefirst time.
You start looking around cornersa little bit, you know?

SPEAKER_07 (18:31):
Looking, yeah, looking around the bottoms of
corners.

SPEAKER_02 (18:33):
That's right.
I'm so excited to play you guysthis next story.
This is from a pairing as old astime.
Wine and cheese, jelly andpeanut butter.

SPEAKER_07 (18:44):
Jelly and it's peanut butter and jelly.
Who says it like that?
You freaking weirdo.

SPEAKER_02 (18:48):
And Mike Macera and Warren Benedetto.

SPEAKER_07 (18:50):
Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_02 (18:51):
Let's roll the tape.

SPEAKER_06 (18:57):
No signal.
Ridden by Warren Benedetto.
Red by Mike Mastero.

SPEAKER_05 (19:08):
Gravel crunched under the tires of John's rust
scarred dodge pickup as he speddown the dirt driveway and
skidded to a stop in front ofMatt's trailer home.
The early morning air wasalready hissing with humidity.
It was thunderstorm weather.
They'd be lucky if they made itto lunchtime without getting
doused.
John pinched the front of hisdark blue coverall and flapped

(19:29):
it against his chest, creating abreeze to cool his sweat slick
skin.
Come on.
He looked at his watch, thenbawled up a fist and thumped it
against the center of thesteering wheel.
The truck's horn gave a sharpleap.
He called out the open window.
Yo, Matt, let's go.
The trailer home's flimsy screendoor flew open, its torn screen

(19:51):
flapping in its frame.
Matt's wife, Vanessa, stormedout onto the porch.
Her hair was a tussled rat'snest.
The belt of her terry clothbathrobe was knotted too
loosely, offering a glimpse ofthe underside of one sagging
breast.
Dark purple rings encircled hereyes.
The fuck, John, she hissed.
You're gonna wake the baby.

(20:12):
As if on cue, the distinctivewail of a hungry newborn rose
within the trailer.
Vanessa sagged against therailing, defeated.
Shit.
I just got her to sleep.
Sorry, Ness.
Gotta hurry if we're gonna beatthe storm.
You almost ready?
I'm here, I'm here.
Matt slipped past Vanessa andducked out of the trailer,

(20:33):
zipping his coverall with onehand while lugging a large
toolbox with the other.
At six foot four he towered overhis diminutive wife.
She looked up at him with apained expression.
Please don't be gone too long.
Matt leaned down and planted akiss on his wife's cheek.
I won't.
He bounded down the steps, slunghis toolbox into the back of the

(20:53):
pickup, then climbed into thepassenger seat and closed the
door.
Vanessa motioned for him tolower the window, ducking to see
him in the truck as the glassslid down.
Text me before you go up.
We'll do.
And when you get down, Matt gaveher a tight smile.
Sure.
Okay.
Vanessa shifted her gaze toJohn.
Take good care of him.
Always.
So where are we heading?

(21:14):
Matt asked as John steered thetruck down the two lane highway.
Dense forests lined both sidesof the road.
They passed a blue informationsign.
Next gas twenty three miles.
Guess.
John pulled a work tablet fromthe truck's center console and
handed it to Matt.
No! Matt said in disbelief as hetook the tablet and turned it
on.
Again?

(21:34):
A map view filled the screen.
It showed all the cell towers inthe area, along with the signal
radius of each.
At the center of the map was asingle tower icon with no radius
around it, indicating asignal-free dead zone in the
middle of the forest.
What the hell is wrong with thatthing?
I wish I knew.
Someone's gotta be fucking withit.
Or it's cursed.

(21:55):
Or that, Matt agreed.
He tucked the tablet back intothe console.
You check the news?
John shook his head.
I don't wanna know.
Matt picked up his phone andbegan scrolling.
After a moment he stopped, hiseyes scanning as he read.
He cursed under his breath.
John's heart sank, but the wordsconfirmed what he already
suspected.

(22:15):
How many?
Two more.
Girls?
A girl and a guy.
Hikers.
And the phones?
Same thing.
He began reading from thearticle.
As with the previous victims,multiple attempts to call for
help failed to go through due tolack of cellular service in the
area.
He stopped reading.
This is so fucked.

(22:36):
He made a disgusted noise, thenrolled down the window and spat
into the wind.
They drove in silence for a fewminutes before he spoke again.
His tone was unusually subdued.
It's not our fault, right?
John furrowed his brow.
What's not?
You know.
He held up his phone displayingthe news article about the

(22:57):
murders.
Of course not.
Cause maybe they'd still bealive.
Bro, it's not our fault.
That's crazy.
If they could have gotten asignal, if they could have
called for help and theaxe-wielding maniac chasing them
through the woods?
Is that our fault too?
No.
Exactly.
John glanced at his friend.

(23:18):
Matt looked like he was on theverge of tears.
In almost ten years, John hadnever seen the guy get so
emotional.
Even when he broke his ankleduring La Crosse playoff senior
year, he had remained stoic.
You okay?
John asked.
Yeah.
Matt took a ragged breath.
I guess this whole thing justhits different now that we have
Bella.

(23:39):
I can't imagine losing a kidlike that.
It's just he coughed, then wipedthe back of his hand across his
eyes.
Fuck, sorry.
Hey, no need to apologize, uh Iget it.
Matt peered through thewindshield at the tall needle
thin cell tower, protruding highabove the tree line in the
distance.
Let's fix the thing for goodthis time, okay?

(23:59):
John put on his blinker andpulled off the main highway onto
a dirt service road.
A sign warned that they wereentering a restricted area,
property of American CellularCorp.
The truck's worn suspensionbounced and creaked over the
uneven surface as it drovedeeper into the woods.
Ten minutes later, they arrivedat the base of a five hundred
foot tall cell tower.

(24:20):
Alright, John said as he put thetruck in park.
Let's do this.
The two men jumped out of thetruck and began strapping on
their climbing gear.
Repairing cell towers was adangerous job.
The most dangerous job inAmerica, according to Buzzfeed.
The amount of climbing the jobrequired depended on the type of
tower.
Some had to be scaled right fromthe ground level.

(24:41):
Others had elevators that ranmost of the way up, only
requiring a climb of forty orfifty feet to reach the top.
The tower they were repairingtoday was one of the latter.
Unfortunately, the tower wasalso the epicenter of an
enormous active crime scene thatspanned several square miles of
the surrounding forest.
Over the last few months, aseries of brutal murders had

(25:03):
taken place in an area roughlyanalogous to the cell phone dead
zone on John's job map.
Every time the cell signal wentdown, there was another murder.
Or maybe it was the other wayaround.
Nobody really knew.
But since the tower was inJohn's assigned region, he and
Matt were the ones on the hookto fix it whenever it went down.
John tightened the chest strapon his climbing harness, then

(25:25):
clipped the safety lines ontothe harness's metal rings.
Nearby, Matt loaded a selectionof tools from his toolbox into a
large canvas tool bag hangingfrom his belt.
He held up a roll of blackelectrical tape.
Extra tape?
John lifted his hand as Matttossed him the roll.
Thanks.
He caught the roll, then droppedit into his own tool bag.

(25:46):
Did you text Vanessa?
Oh shit, almost forgot.
He dug his phone out and begantyping, then stopped and gave an
ironic chuckle.
No service.
He tossed his useless phone ontothe tailgate.
Just gonna be pissed.
Then let's make it quick.
John unlocked the tower'selevator door.
The folding grate clanked andsquealed in protest as John slid

(26:07):
it open and stepped inside.
The elevator itself was nothingbut a metal cage about the size
of a small bathroom stall, withan unadorned electrical box
containing two large redbuttons, one for up, one for
down.
Matt stepped into the elevatorafter him, closed the gate, then
turned to face John.
It was a tight fit.
Their bodies were mere inchesapart.

(26:54):
Matt drew back his lips.
Anything in my teeth?
You've got a pube right here.
John pointed between his ownfront teeth.
Oh, right.
It's from your mom.
Matt ran his tongue across histeeth and showed them again.
How about now?
Better.
John punched the up button.
The elevator rattled and groanedas it slowly lifted off the

(27:14):
ground.
And away we go.
The ride to the top of the towerwas quiet, except for the
rhythmic clank and whirr of theelevator as it ascended.
Little by little the world belowshrunk to miniature size.
Given the remote location of thetower, the landscape was mostly
treetops and rock formations.
Its most noticeable feature wasa sapphire blue lake not too far

(27:36):
from where John had parked histruck.
After ninety seconds or so, theelevator arrived at its apex,
about two thirds of the way fromthe top of the tower.
Matt opened the gate and steppedonto a small metal platform,
then moved aside to allow Johnto exit past him.
They had agreed that John wouldclimb point since he had the
most experience with the modelof cellular antenna used by this

(27:57):
particular tower.
Matt would climb behind him,passing him tools and providing
an extra pair of hands asneeded.
Once out of the elevator, Johnbegan the tedious hand over hand
climb up the ladder to the topof the tower.
Every few runks he had toconnect one of his safety lines
to the tower's frame, then reachdown and disconnect the one he

(28:17):
had previously connected.
Doing it that way ensured thathe always had a safety line
attached in case he fell.
About fifteen feet below, Mattrepeated the same process with
his own safety lines.
As John climbed, an unusualsplash of color down by the
lake, bright yellow and gold,caught his eye.
He squinted into the wind,trying to make sense of what he

(28:38):
was seeing.
The color was in the shape of arectangle.
On top of it was an amorphous,multi-limbed pile of human flesh
and hair.
And the pile was moving.
John chuckled as he realizedwhat he was seeing.
The pile of flesh was people,two of them.
It was a couple, having sex nextto the lake on what looked like
a Los Angeles Lakers beach town.

(29:00):
The girl was on top, cowgirlstyle, which explained the
confusing jumble of limbs.
John whistled down at Matt.
Hey, what's up?
Check it out.
John pointed down at the figuresby the lake.
It took a few seconds beforeMatt saw what John was pointing
at.
He started laughing.
John began laughing too.
Good times, right?

(29:20):
Man, I wish I was them rightnow.
I suddenly a blood curdlingscream echoed through the
valley.
John's heart leapt into histhroat.
What the hell?
He looked back down at thesplash of color by the lake.
The towel was still there, butthe couple was gone.
You hear that?
Matt asked.
Yeah.
John's eyes scanned thelandscape, trying to pinpoint

(29:42):
where the people had gone.
After a moment, he spotted thegirl sprinting barefoot along
the lake's edge.
He traced his gaze along thelake until he spotted her
boyfriend running a few yardsbehind her.
Immediately following him was aman in full camouflage hunting
gear and a floppy boonie hat.
The man had a long wooden objectclutched in his hands, light

(30:04):
colored wood, a few feet long.
A baseball bat?
No, an axe.
John watched in mute horror asthe man swung the axe and
brought it down squarely betweenthe boyfriend's shoulder blades.
The boyfriend stumbled and fell,his head striking the rocky
ground and knocking himunconscious.
The man with the axe straddledthe guy's motionless body,

(30:25):
yanked the weapon from his back,then raised it high in the air
and brought it down again andagain and again.
The blood spilling from theboyfriend's body looked like a
puddle of crude oil against adark grey rock.
Jesus Christ, Matt exclaimed.
Are you seeing this?
A surge of bile raced up theback of John's throat media.

(30:47):
Muting his reply.
Yeah.
He choked.
After a minute or so, the killerfinished hacking at the
boyfriend.
The guy's head and upper bodyhad been pulverized into a
bloody pulp.
One of his arms was detachedfrom his body.
It looked like a piece ofcrooked white driftwood that had
washed up nearby.
The killer balanced the handleof the axe against his shoulder

(31:09):
and gazed down at his kill for amoment.
Then he strode off into thetrees at a calculated pace.
John swallowed again, trying toregain his voice.
Where's the girl?
I I don't know, Matt replied.
I lost track of her.
We've got to help her, Mattdetached his safety line.
Wait, John started, but Matt wasalready rapidly descending the

(31:31):
ladder back towards theelevator.
John's stomach nodded as hewatched Matt speed down the
rungs, his untethered safetyline swinging in the wind.
One slip, one missed step, andhe would plummet to his death.
Slow down, John called.
As Matt made it to the platform,a desperate cry echoed through
the forest directly below them.
Help, the girl called.

(31:51):
Please, someone, help us.
A flock of small birds explodedfrom the trees at the base of
the tower.
The girl stumbled from the woodsand into the clearing where
John's truck was parked.
She's down there, John called toMatt.
Hey, he shouted to the girl.
He waved, trying to draw herattention up the tower.
Hey, Matt joined in the chorus.

(32:12):
Hey, up here.
Hey.
Hello?
The girl looked aroundfrantically, trying to pinpoint
where the voices were comingfrom.
She didn't look up.
Instead, she ran to John's truckand tried to open the passenger
side door.
It was locked.
She sprinted around to thedriver's side and tried that
door.
Locked.
She pounded on the window infrustration, then stood on her

(32:33):
tiptoes and looked into the bedof the pickup.
She spotted the toolbox andMatt's phone.
It was still on the tailgate,where he had left it after
trying to text Vanessa.
With a squeal of hope, the girlran around to the back of the
pickup, grabbed the phone, andtapped in three numbers nine
one.
John's heart sank as he realizedwhat was about to happen.

(32:54):
Call failed.
The girl wailed withfrustration.
Come on, come on.
She whimpered as she trieddialing again.
Again the call failed.
Come on, she screamed.
Connect, goddammit.
She tried a third time, failedagain.
Your key, Matt shouted to John.
What?
Throw me your key.

(33:15):
What are you gonna do?
I'm going down, he indicated theelevator.
I'll take it to help her.
I'll come with you.
John began to detach his ownsafety lines.
There's no time.
If I don't go now, this girl isgonna die, and I'm not gonna let
that happen.
Now throw me the key.
John knew Matt was right.
The killer could be mere secondsaway.
Time was of the essence.

(33:36):
With one hand still clinging tothe tower, he dug his fingers
into his chest pocket and pulledout the truck's key fob.
He hung as low as he could fromthe rung where he was tied and
dropped the key to Matt.
Matt looked up to John with thekey gripped in his fist.
I'll be back.
Then he swung into the elevator,closed the cage, and began the
grinding, clanking descent tothe ground.

(33:58):
As the elevator disappeared downthe tower, John considered what
to do in the meantime.
It was hard to fathom continuingthe job after just seeing a guy
get axe murdered, but theantenna would have to be
repaired at some point.
The sooner he fixed it, thesooner they could call for help.
He was about to start climbingagain when a scream of terror
drew his attention back to theground.

(34:19):
The girl was standing in the bedof the pickup truck, a hammer
from the toolbox held outdefensively in front of her.
John followed her gaze to seethe killer emerging from the
woods at the edge of theclearing, the bloody axe
weighing heavily in his hands.
Get away from me, the girlshrieked.
The killer rested the axe handleon his shoulder and calmly
approached the truck.
The girl swung the hammer feeblyin his direction.

(34:42):
Leave me alone! The killerlunged at the girl.
She screamed, then hurtled overthe side of the truck bed and
onto the ground.
The killer began circling thevehicle towards her.
The girl scrambled to her feetand fled along the side of the
pickup in the oppositedirection.
The killer changed directions.
The girl did too, keeping thebody of the truck between
herself and the killer.

(35:02):
From his bird's eye view, Johnwatched the killer faint towards
the front of the truck.
As the girl took the bait andmoved towards the back, the
killer dropped to his belly andslid underneath the vehicle.
The girl froze, confused, unsureof which direction the killer
had gone.
John yelled as loud as he could.
Hey! This time the girl seemedto hear him.

(35:23):
She looked up at the tower.
John pointed frantically at theground.
He's under the truck.
What?
The girl screamed.
He's under the truck.
The girl's eyes went wide as sherealized what John was saying,
but it was too late.
The killer's axe swung out fromunder the truck and sliced
through the girl's Achillestendon, severing her foot at the

(35:46):
ankle.
The girl wailed in agony andfell to the ground, blood
spurting from her injured leg.
As the girl writhed in pain, thekiller slid out from under the
truck, dusted the dirt from hispants, then bent down and picked
up his axe.
Regaining her faculties for amoment, the girl managed to roll
onto her backside, propellingherself away from the killer

(36:07):
with her one good foot.
A thick trail of bright redblood stained the pale dirt as
it poured from her wound,filling the rut left by her
dragging stump.
Hey, dickhead, Matt's voice rangout from below, followed by the
clattering of the elevator gateslamming open.
Leave her alone.
The killer spun the axe in afull circle like a batter,

(36:28):
loosening his wrist before andat bat, then pivoted towards the
tower.
He cocked his head curiously.
Yeah, that's right, Mattgrowled.
Bring it on, motherfucker.
The killer headed for Matt'sposition, disappearing from
John's view as he passed underthe tower.
John leaned away from the ladderas far as his reach would allow,
but he was unable to see whatwas happening on the ground

(36:49):
directly below.
He listened helplessly to themetallic bangs and crashes
echoing up the tower, clearlythe sounds of a brutal struggle
between Matt and the killer.
Hoping for some hint of what washappening, he shifted his gaze
to the girl to see how she wasreacting.
Unfortunately, she wasn't.
She was slumped on the ground,unconscious.
Suddenly, the racket stopped.

(37:11):
Everything fell eerily silent.
The only sound John could hearwas the wail of the wind and the
rise and fall of his breathing.
Matt?
he shouted.
Matt, you okay?
There was no answer.
Matt, he yelled again.
Nothing.
After a few seconds ofexcruciating silence, a metallic
rattle echoed up from theground, followed by the wind of

(37:32):
an electric motor starting toturn.
John's breath caught in histhroat.
The elevator was coming back up.
John looked down at the platformthirty feet below him, then up
at the top of the tower, aboutthirty feet above.
It didn't matter which way heclimbed, either direction he
went he was trapped.
With one shaking hand he reachedinto the tool bag attached to

(37:53):
his belt to assess what he mightuse to defend himself.
He had some screwdrivers, anadjustable wrench, a ratchet
kit, a few specializedelectronics for testing the
antenna, and the spare roll oftape that Matt had tossed him
when they were suiting up.
John drew out the roll of tapeand turned it over in his hand.
An idea formed in his mind.

(38:13):
The elevator continued itsascent as John prepared to make
his last stand.
The tower might be a trap, butit could also be an advantage.
The killer couldn't hold an axeand climb the ladder at the same
time.
He would need his hands free togrip the rungs.
That leveled the playing field alittle bit and gave John a
fighting chance.
If he could draw the killer upthe tower, he could jump off the

(38:34):
ladder, using his fallingmomentum to grab the killer and
yank him off the rungs.
The safety lines would haltJohn's descent while the killer
plummeted to his death.
And if that didn't work, therewas always plan B, brutal
hand-to-hand combat.
Just as John finished windingthe last of the spare roll of
tape around his hand, theelevator slowed to a halt.

(38:54):
It had arrived.
John double checked his safetylines one last time.
He tightened his grip on theladder, took a deep breath, and
prepared to meet his fate.
The elevator gate rattled open.
John could see the outline ofthe killer's boony hat through
the slotted roof of theelevator, along with a glimpse
of the axe wooden handle.
He tensed as a camouflage cladfigure emerged into the light

(39:17):
and fell backwards, crashingflat onto the metal platform
outside the elevator.
It was the killer, dead, hiseyes wide open, his face slicked
with blood, his axe buried inthe middle of his forehead.
Matt stepped out of the elevatorand onto the platform next to
the killer's body.
He looked up at John.
Dude, what the fuck are youdoing?

(39:40):
John glazed down at Matt, hismouth agape.
His friend's face was batteredand beaten, with a torrent of
blood streaming down his cheekfrom a gash over his eyebrow.
His nose was squashed sideways,his lip was split, his eye was
swollen shut, he looked likehell, but he was alive.
And he was laughing.
What?

(40:00):
John said, unsure of what hisfriend found so funny about the
situation.
What are you fucking wolverinenow?
John looked at his hand.
In his shock at seeing hisfriend return alive, he had
completely forgotten what he haddone to prepare for his
encounter with the killer.
Weaponizing his fist by usingMatt's extra tape to attach
screwdrivers to the back of hishand, one behind each finger.

(40:24):
He had intended to fashion aweapon he could use while still
having his fingers free to gripthe ladder, but it ended up
looking like a discount hardwarestore version of Wolverine's
famous Adamantium clause.
It was Plan B, John said.
That made Matt laugh evenharder.
After a few seconds, John joinedin.

(40:45):
They laughed until tearsstreamed down their faces.
Then John climbed down theladder and embraced his friend.
After a quiet moment theyseparated.
John looked down at the killer'sbody.
What do we do with him?
Fuck him.
Leave him up here for thevultures.
John stepped into the elevator.
Matt followed, then closed thegate.

(41:06):
As they began their descent,Matt spoke again.
Anything in my teeth?
He drew back his busted lip.
One of his front teeth wasmissing.
You've got a little somethingright here.
John pointed at his own fronttooth using one of the
screwdrivers tapped to his hand.
Matt ran his tongue across histeeth, then showed them again.
The tooth was still missing.

(41:28):
How about now?
Better.
Much better.

SPEAKER_02 (41:36):
I mean, as usual, Warren is such an epic writer.
Like writes in such a large way.
I don't know, even though thestory is quite con I've said
this every fucking time.
Even though the story is quitecontained, he creates such a
rich world.
I loved seeing kind of thebeginning of the story where you
meet the guys in the trailerpark and they're why like it

(41:57):
just adds so much texture to it.
I thought this was a brilliant,fantastic showing from Warren as
usual.

SPEAKER_07 (42:03):
I love any story with a very contained setting.
It it's one of my big petpeeves, especially when you are
listening to a story, when thethe setting is too all over the
place.
It's one of the reasons why Ican't do Stephen King.

SPEAKER_03 (42:19):
Yeah, fair.

SPEAKER_07 (42:20):
Uh, because he jumps between so many different
locations, so many side storiesthat all come together in this
like neat little bow at the end.
But it's not for me.

SPEAKER_02 (42:29):
Sure.

SPEAKER_07 (42:29):
I want everything to take place on a ship, you know?

SPEAKER_02 (42:33):
So just you mean like physically contained.

SPEAKER_07 (42:35):
Physically contained.

SPEAKER_02 (42:36):
Geographically contained.

SPEAKER_07 (42:38):
Geographically contained.
In this case, it's a cell tower.
They are on the tower andeverything that they can see
from the cell tower.
Do I remember the characters'names?
No.
Do I need to?
No.
Because like I know who we arewho we are with.
There's two guys on this towerand all the bullshit happening
down below.
Watch out for all that stuff.
It's coming up to get you.

SPEAKER_02 (42:57):
I mean, it's also quite horrifying.
This idea of being stucksomewhere.
Like I like how he introduceslimitations into this story.
Again, I think that's whatthat's where like the friction
point and the fear come about.
You're stuck as someone who'ssee witnessing something from
afar.
And then when it comes up,there's these like clear
limitations he sets very earlyon, no self-service, right?

(43:20):
Boom, boom, boom.
And then you're in this, notonly are you geographically
contained, but you have theselimitations.
And so you know the rules ofplay really quickly.

SPEAKER_07 (43:30):
Also, what a cool mechanic.
Um, you know, where well he'she's literally a a mechanic.
What first off, what a coolmechanic of you can't call for
help because cell service isdown.
Okay.
You know, that's a we've seenthat one before, but you are the
cell repair guy.

SPEAKER_03 (43:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (43:50):
And like if you want to call for help, you can repair
the tower.
I think that was just kind ofneat.
Because like at one point, it'slike, well, you know, this this
tower has to get repaired atsome point.
I mean, I know people aregetting murdered, but you know,
I'm a professional.

SPEAKER_02 (44:04):
Yeah, it felt like a fresh version of that
limitation.

SPEAKER_07 (44:08):
Yeah, but it's like, okay, I I get it.
If you do this, then you cancall for help.
I thought that was really cool.

SPEAKER_02 (44:13):
Yeah, yeah.
So the story was read for us byour friend Mike Macera, who, as
I'm sure you know, is one halfof Beach Therapy.
So check out Beach Therapyanywhere you listen to music.
And the story was written byWarren Benedetto.
Warren writes dark fiction abouthorrible people, horrible
places, and horrible things.
For more information, visitwarrenbenedetto.com and follow

(44:35):
Warren Benedetto on X andInstagram.
And of course, we will link allof the places that you can
discover our amazing narratorsand writers in the description
of this episode so that you cankeep your eye on them.
All right, we have two morestories.
In this next one, I'm reallyexcited because it's been a long
time since we have featured thenarration of our dear friend

(44:56):
Sarah Luke, one of the originalLunatics collaborators on this
podcast.
So without further ado, let'sroll the tape.

SPEAKER_04 (45:19):
Flora stood at the edge of her dock, peering into
the inky black lake.
Chameleon Lake, she'd call it,because of how it stole the
color of the sky above.
Tonight the stars glimmered intheir reflection.
Even though she knew it'd betrue, she glanced up to see if
in fact her lake was still aface stealer.
It was.
Her toes gently curled over theedge of the wooden plank she

(45:40):
stood on.
She whispered her desires to thelake, a tradition she held for
as long as she knew how tospeak.
When she was done, she slowlyturned and walked back on the
dock to her tiny cabin perchedon the edge.
The soft lapping of the water,singing insects, and occasional
bubbling of the fish below weremelodic.
A gentle lull that was peaceful.

(46:00):
Flora relished that peace.
The quiet.
Opening her door, she glancedover her shoulder, taking in the
serene night.
Tilting her nose up, she inhaledthe sweet scent of pine sap and
moss that surrounded her.
Closing the door behind her, shecontinued moving in the dark of
her home back to her room.
Pulling down the comforter inher bed, Flora lay down softly

(46:20):
on her side, her right earpressed into her plush pillow.
When the only sound Flora couldhear was her pounding heart, she
drifted off to sleep.
The shore around the lake grewquiet, as if on command, the
waving water stilled.
Suddenly, bubbling near the edgeof the shore started and quickly
grew to a roar.
Under the starlight, splashingwater sounded with a slick wet

(46:42):
slap hitting the soft grannysand.
Slap, slap, slap.
A glistening beast drug itselffrom the bottom of the lake to
the base of Flora's home.
The beast was as dark as thewooded night, shimmering,
hairless.
The beast continued to dragitself without using its legs,
which were trailing in thewater.
Heaving, panting, the beastdidn't bother hiding itself.

(47:04):
Nothing would come for it.
Back in the single room cabin,the steady boom, boom, boom of
Flora's heart continued to echoin her ear.
When the beast's back legs werefree of the water, it howled
into the night.
The raw sound brought anunsettling chill.
A serene smile softly set onFlora's face.
She was dreaming happily.

(47:25):
Another howl broke through thenight.
The beast's ears perked up ininterest.
A challenger to the beast of thelake had made itself known.
A primal growl threatens in thetree line.
The beast shakes its back legs,bones snapping into place.
Its hollow eyes traced overancient and familiar
surroundings.
Without warning, the beastpounced silently.

(47:46):
Blood seeped around the teeth,muscle on the tongue, spirit in
the stomach.
That'll be twelve eighteen.
Flora's monotone voice hungbetween her and a bright-eyed
woman who was quick to pull outa debit card.
Tap when it's ready, Floraresponded without looking at the
customer.
It's supposed to be a beautifulevening, the woman encouraged
small talk, her tone like agardener speaking to a dying

(48:07):
flower.
Ignoring her, Flora continuedthe monotony of her job.
Receipt?
Flora held out the paperreceipt, and the woman shook her
head no.
Flora crumbled it swiftly andtossed it into the bin under the
counter.
Have a good day.
Do you know anything about LakeChristian Head?
The woman hesitantly asked.
What about it?
Flora twitched in an unnoticablesecond.

(48:28):
Her breath quickened slightly.
That was her lake, LakeChameleon.
My husband and I are camping bythe water's edge, turning down
mile marker um sixty three, Ithink.
The woman turned her headtowards her truck, her husband
hanging up the gas nozzle.
You can't camp there.
Flora's palms started to sweat,thinking to herself.

(48:48):
She should warn them, shouldn'tshe?
It'd be the right thing to do,wouldn't it?
We know it's not an officialcampground, but my husband
received a tip that it's rarelytraveled, so it'll be just us.
She smiled nervously.
He doesn't want to run intoanyone.
Enjoys the quiet and being leftalone.
It's not a campground for areason.
The woman shifted back slightly,surprised by Florence's

(49:09):
annoyance.
The animals are wild andterritorial.
You guys go out there?
Flora nodded her head down theroad.
You'll regret it.
Aware she had the woman's raptattention, Flora held her stare,
whispering a warning.
They say at night under themoon, a beast emerges from the
lake.
Hungry from its slumber, itdevours what it sees.

(49:29):
A chime rang throughout thestore.
The woman jumped.
Hand to her chest, she turnedback to her husband, who was
half in and out, repeatinglysetting off the alerting chime
of a customer.
Ready?
This lady says we shouldn't campwhere we planned.
Wild animals.
The woman's tense smile at herhusband evoked an eye roll.
Flora tilted her head watchingthe exchange.
This woman reminded her of asmall rabbit, and her husband, a

(49:52):
fox.
There'll be wild animals at anycampground, he lowered his
voice.
You shouldn't tell people ourplans anyway, Lily.
I meant what I said.
Flora leaned over the counter,not caring to speak over the
fourth chime.
Do not go out there, especiallytonight under the full moon.
Relax, lady.
The husband held his hand up.

(50:12):
He inched inside the store.
Lily's shoulders relaxed whenthe chiming stopped.
Lily, let's go.
She nervously glanced at Flora,then left the store with her
husband.
Fresh anxiety burrowed intoFlora's stomach.
She wanted to go home.
What's your problem?
Greg, Flora's boss, turned thecorner from his office.
Flora moved quickly away fromthe register to avoid being

(50:33):
trapped with him behind thecounter.
She could feel his eyes slidingup and down her body, reminding
her of grease slowly drippingdown a tilted pan.
She shuddered internally,thinking about what would happen
if she were here after hours inthe dead of the night.
Nothing, she mumbled, heading tothe stock room.
Greg watched her walk away,thinking things he shouldn't,
but weighing if he should.

(50:55):
The rest of Flora's day wasuneventful, but her insides
radiated the opposite.
She was a not filled mess,thinking about the couple
that'll be camping by her lake.
Could they have changed theirminds?
Would they?
By the time she got home, thesun was setting and her skin was
ablaze.
Sweat slid down her forehead andtrailed around her eyes.
She swiped it away only to feelanother beaded drop.

(51:16):
Stripping down into shorts and atank top, Flora kept her
tradition and made her way tothe end of her dock.
The early stars were caught inthe imitation web.
Flora whispered her desires tothe lake and walked to the back
of her cabin.
Panting, Flora doubled over, herhands against her knees, perched
her up.
A soft breeze tickled the napeof her neck.
The wooded area went still,frozen under the rise of the

(51:39):
full moon.
When the lake ensnared the fullmoon's image, Flora killed over,
grunting in agony, her skin onfire, blood pumping furiously,
throbbing in her head.
She was choking, gasping forair.
She couldn't expand her throat.
On all fours, she gripped theground, her fingernails tearing
in the dirt.
Thick red blood replaced them.

(52:00):
The sound of logs snapping in afire filled the air.
Her body was morphing.
It started in her legs, tremorscoursed up her back, then her
arms.
She was on the verge of passingout, still unable to breathe in
the sweet air she craved.
Flora toppled to her side.
The skin around her jaggedlytore open, the sinews snapping

(52:20):
around her breaking bones.
Flora's dark brown hair shedwith her copper skin.
An animal started to take shapewhere Flora once laid.
A wheezing inhale, followed by aferal growl, emitted from the
broken mass.
The change continued.
Flora's face was excruciatinglyitchy.
She clawed away at it.
With each strip of her face, theincessant itch lessened until

(52:43):
Flora no longer recognized theword.
Fangs pushed her human teethout, each one falling with a
soft pat on the ground, likepento beans on the linoleum
floor.
The blood spray around thedropped teeth was reminiscent of
the Milky Way shimmering aroundthe planets.
Steam wafted from the wolf'srisen body.
Rich brown matted fur replacedthe exposed muscle.

(53:04):
A snout with pointed sharp teethbit out at the smells in the
air.
Ears alert, piercing distrustfulyellow eyes scanned the area.
Fearing what was released,creatures of the night quieted
in their underground burrows.
Flora was no more.
The wolf was evermore.
Reveling in the accomplishedtransformation, the wolf howled
up at the moon, endlesslythankful because without it, the

(53:27):
wolf could not be free.
A scent of ash caught the wolf'sattention, shaking out the blood
of its former self.
The wolf sprang into the forest.
Did you hear that?
Lily gripped the edge of herblanket, glancing down at the
dying fire.
She was trembling, but notbecause of the frigid night.
We're outside, Lil, we're gonnahear animals.
Her husband shook his head as hecontinued to clean up from their

(53:49):
meal.
It was too close for comfort,Bill.
I'm kind of scared.
Lily's heavy breathing was theonly noise that could be heard
since the Hal broke up theirconversation.
That damn gas station worker gotin your head.
We've camped a million times.
We've had a good day, haven'twe?
Bill looked up at his wifeincredulously.
Yeah, Lily whispered, unable toargue that point.
The picturesque lake was rightout of a dream.

(54:11):
It reflected everything itcaught.
Lily could spend the rest of herlife here during the day.
But as soon as the sun set, shecouldn't ignore the inherent
wrongness she felt within herbones.
Where did the bugs chirping go?
A crackling fire suddenly seemedlike a bad idea, drawing
unwanted attention.
A rustle in the trees causedLily to jerk up out of her
campchair.

(54:32):
That animal is too close, shehissed to Bill.
He tried not to let it show, buthe agreed.
Bill stopped what he was doingand turned his face to where
they had heard the noise.
I brought my gun, his voicegravely serious.
Lily swallowed, but notreassured.
Keep it close.
Lily stood, wanting to pretendshe was okay.
She started stretching thestiffness in her body away.

(54:52):
Twisting her torso from right toleft, she caught a glimpse of
her husband.
Then she felt as if sheshouldn't move again.
An eerie sensation befell her.
Her muscles screamed against herintentions to face Bill.
Don't move.
Don't move.
Don't move, whispered to herthrough the wind, a gift from
the night.

(55:13):
You o a snarl interwoven withBill's yelp shattered the air
behind her.
Bill continued to scream untilit was only gurgles.
Unable to twitch, let alone run,Lily slowly turned her head.
Silent tears ran down herhorror-stricken face as she
watched a large, dark brown wolfrip into her husband.
As if it had sensed herwatching, the wolf unnaturally

(55:34):
snapped its head up.
Lily gasped when she saw itsbright sunflower yellow eyes.
The beauty against the gorestole Lily's attention, just as
the lake was stilling the sceneof her husband's death.
When Lily's ability to movereturned to her, she took a
single step back.
The wolf noted the movement andtook a graceful step forward.
Soft thudding came from theother side of Bill's truck.

(55:55):
Help! Lily's desperation was aprayer to the gods and whatever
was on the other side.
The wolf lifted its head to thenew scent.
Baring its teeth, it turned itsattention away from Lily.
Watching as the wolf carelesslystepped over her husband's
mangled body, Lily weighed theodds of reaching her husband and
the keys versus running into theforest.
The beast behind the truckrevealed itself.

(56:16):
Lily's face contorted in terror.
It was another wolf.
Dread filled her like lead.
They were nearly identical, butthe one that recently appeared
didn't have eyes, only a hollowblackness.
A damp warmth that turned chillycovered the front of Lily's
leggings.
She tried to scream, to doanything, but it was pointless.

(56:36):
She knew she was going to die.
The wolves circled each other.
When one snapped, the otherresponded in kind.
Panting, Lily's heart was tryingto escape her chest.
The wolves moved further fromBill's lifeless body.
Lily found a wall to try and getaway.
She darted to him, the yelloweyed wolf turned to her and
growled.
It pounced, but the secondjumped into it from the side.

(56:58):
Lily crouched next to Bill'scorpse to try and avoid being
tackled.
At the sight of his exposedesophagus, Lily fainted.
Sunlight poured into an openwindow dancing across Lily's
face.
Startled awake, she leapt up,falling into a coffee table.
The crashing noise made herwince.
Her knee throbbed where itcaught the corner, and she
scrimmed herself raw at theremembrance of the last thing

(57:21):
she saw.
You're okay, a steady voice camefrom behind her, silencing
Lily's sobs.
Where am I?
Lily choked out,hyperventilating.
Lily recognized the woman fromthe gas station.
It did nothing to calm her.
My cabin, Flora was leaningcasually against the entryway
into the only hallway in herintimate home.
When Lily didn't respond, Floratilted her head and scratched

(57:43):
just above her eyebrow.
Nodding in the silence, almostmockingly so, Flora went to the
cabinets across from where Lilywas standing.
Where am I?
Where am I?
My cabin.
Flora didn't face to turn Lily,pulling down a mug and ground
coffee.
Where's or how's Bill?
Lily bit her bottom lip as aflash of his dead eyes came to

(58:06):
the front of her mind.
When Lily closed her eyes, shesaw the blood soaked yellow
grasses swaying around him.
Bill's dead, Flora said bluntly.
Lily blinked.
The words slashed into her.
No.
Lily started, then forcedherself to say, The wolves?
The beast?
Lily inhaled, shivering underthe memory of the night.

(58:26):
The wolves are gone.
Flora drugged the coffee makerout, pushing the filter into the
top.
She plugged the cord into thewall outlet.
How?
Lily's feet went numb.
She sat before she fell.
I told you both not to comehere.
Flora's cold voice blanketed thecabin.
She moved with ease, withoutworry.
Didn't she realize a man hadbeen killed?

(58:48):
Anger swelled within Lily.
You didn't tell us we could die,she shouted.
What do you think devouredmeant?
Besides, you could die rightnow.
Lily sat straighter at Flora'swords.
I mean either of us could dropdead.
It's the risk of life.
But at the end of the day, Itold you both not to go and you
chose to ignore me.

(59:08):
I have to get to him.
Maybe you're wrong.
Maybe he's searching for meright now.
Lily jumped up, antsy.
She started pacing, flexing herhands.
He's gone.
We should probably call therangers.
Flora hesitated.
I should call.
The wolves.
Lily couldn't keep her mind fromgoing back to them.
One of them was injured.

(59:29):
It had no eyes.
I think it tried to help me.
Lily recalled how it jumped intothe other.
The inhumane squills andferocious snarls rang around her
mind, morphing into Bill's lifepleading screams.
Lily squeezed her eyelids shut,trying to block out the haunting
sound.
It's not injured, it's areflection.
That's the beast.
Flora sighed as she spoke.

(59:51):
A reflection?
Lily's chest hurt.
She continued pacing, a woundedperson trapped inside.
Of me, my desires.
Of you?
The color drained from Lily'sface, her mouth dried.
It's a reflection.
The opposite.
Flora scoffed as she slowlyturned to meet Lily's eyes.
I desire death, destruction.

(01:00:13):
Unnaturally one could say.
Flora spoke casually, shruggedone of her shoulders.
I've chosen to release mydesires into the lake.
It catches what I say.
Manifest them, I suppose.
The coffee had finished brewing.
Flora poured herself a cup,keeping her back to Lily.
Opening a sugar jar, Florascooped up a spoonful and

(01:00:33):
stirred it in.
Manifest?
Lily could barely whisper.
The opposite of wanting death iswanting life.
The beast of the lake is tied tome.
Lily glanced at the door.
Nervous?
Flora spoke.
Fun, cup in hand, narrowing hereyes on Lily.
Unable to speak, Lily watched asFlora blew in her coffee.
I'm a bad wolf because I'm a badperson.

(01:00:56):
Flora sipped from her mug.
The beast hunts for need,whereas I hunt for want.
She set the mug down.
The last thing Lily saw was aflash of yellow.
Then nothing more.
Hakmatz etnips Ugnat et noeclesum Hit et Janoa de Pis Dub

(01:01:17):
Epilogue.
Flora stood over twounrecognizable bodies, a phone
delicately pressed to her face.
There's an abandoned truck andan illegal campsite, and two
well Flora grinned beforecontinuing.
Well they look large enough tobe human, one likely male, the
other probably female.
Shrugging, Flora didn't knowwhat else she could offer.

(01:01:38):
After all, she told them not tocome here.
And they did anyway.
A static laden explicativeresponse and a question came
from the ranger on the call.
Flora nudged and exposed kneecapwith her toes.
A mountain lion, maybe a wolfgot to him.
Just out walking the perimeterof the lake.
Thought I heard some coyotesfighting in the middle of the
night.
Was probably whatever causedthis, she continued.

(01:01:58):
The ranger questioned Flora.
She rolled her eyes annoyed.
He asked if she got any kind ofhelp out to her location.
Why do you think I called you?
Before hanging up, the rangersaid they were on their way, and
Flora conveyed she was happy tostay and help with however she
was needed.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:18):
So this story was written by Jay D.
Falsetti, and it's her firsttime being featured as a writer
on Lunatics Radio Hour, so let'stell you a little bit about her.
Jay is a biracial indigenouswriter based in Washington,
where she lives with her family.
Her short stories have appearedin various online magazines.
She writes fantasy, horror,science fiction, and literary
fiction.

(01:02:38):
You can connect with her anddiscovered her published work on
Instagram at JD Falsetti, and wewill of course link that.
And you can follow our amazingfriend and narrator Sarah Luke
at Instagram at Sarah LukeS-A-R-A, Luke25, and we will of
course link that as well.
But okay, Alan, tell us what youthought about this story because
you do love a werewolf story.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:59):
I I I do love a good a good werewolf story.
The fact that this was had to dowith indigenous stories, was
authenticity with the mythos andeverything.
It was kind of cool.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:08):
Yeah, it was super cool.
I liked the twist of, I don'tknow, I liked having the
perspective of the characterturning into the creature and
the wolf.
And I don't know, there were itagain, similar to Warren's
story, it was somewhatcontained, even though it could
certainly be part of a biggerpiece, I would say.
And I loved experiencing thatsort of plot twist with the

(01:03:29):
characters.
I also just thought thedescription of the in the story
was stunningly gorgeous.
Jay did such an incredible jobat like weaving these really
visceral, beautiful scenes theway she describes the lake and
different parts of the worldthat the story takes place in.
So even though it was a horrorstory, I also left it being
like, wow, so much of that wasreally beautiful.

(01:03:50):
It was about humanity.
It had a lot of different layersto it.
All right, Alan, we have onemore story.

SPEAKER_07 (01:03:57):
What is it?

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:58):
This is also, is this are all of these, besides
Warren, all of these writers arenew today.
This is by Zachary Taylor,another new contributor to
Lunatics Radio Hour.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:09):
The president?

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:10):
So without further ado, let's roll the final tape.

SPEAKER_06 (01:04:18):
Aluminum canoes.

unknown (01:04:22):
Read by Zachary Taylor.

SPEAKER_06 (01:04:25):
Read by Pierre Babazavu.

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:31):
Camp Summer Star, 1974.
James Redden turned saucerwhite.
The other canoe rolled moreharshly than he had expected,
catapulting three boys into thetepid lake water.
Two flailed like human-coloredcampfires above the crisp lake's
face, while the third went underafter the canoe bobbed and
hammered back down on the backof the boy's head.

(01:04:52):
Camp Cusada, 1975.
James Wren sat around a campfirewith nine other boys, one camp
counselor.
The counselor passed around aflashlight, the designated
speaking totem.
The holder of the flashlight hadto tell their scariest story
while lighting their face frombeneath the chin.
The counselor started theritual, spoke of a Native

(01:05:14):
American ghost that would killthose young boys that
disrespected the land upon whichthe camp was built.
Convenient.
One of the boys told a storyabout a lake-dwelling siren that
would tempt you down to theshore with her wily ways, which
were more or less sexual innature, though from the sound of
it, mostly more.
Another told of an evil thingthat lived in the woods here,

(01:05:35):
some kind of albino Bigfoot thatate camp-aged boys because they
tasted better than the girls inthe sister camp across the
valley.
James didn't have to tell astory.
When he put the light to hischin, he spoke of the icy terror
that filled his veins as hisfriend he had just confessed to
loving the day before sank tothe bottom of the lake, tracing

(01:05:56):
his downward path with amellifluous stream of blood that
flowed from the base of hisskull.
It was deemed an accident, andit was, but James still saw the
boy in his dreams bloated andwrapped in pondweed as he
regurgitated his drowned lungsinto James Wrenz's mouth as if
to kiss him to death.
The boys became statues.

(01:06:17):
They sat silently as theylistened to James' story.
After a long silence, thecounselor grabbed the light back
from James, rough enough tostartle the boy.
A graveyard simple joke thatturned graveyard deadly.
Turned the other canoe over.
It was a dare to impress thelead counselor, the only girl at
the camp, who never noticed anyof the campers.

(01:06:38):
All the boys were supposed tolaugh after.
James knew his friend wouldunderstand.
The counselor started to speakabout the campfire, and how
things around the fire weresacred.
He said something about how hedidn't want the boys from Cabin
D talking to the othercounselors about what happened
here tonight, just like lastnight.
Whatever that meant.

(01:06:58):
He said the others shouldn'tshare James' story and that it
was a stupid accident.
The counselor complained that itdidn't count as a spooky story
anyway.
James sat embarrassed, staringdown into the fire.
Stupid idea to talk about that.
The boy next to him scooted afew inches away, signaling to
the others he had nothing to dowith it.

(01:07:18):
A rustle from the brush nearbystartled the boy at the
campfire.
What the fuck was that?
he squealed.
The counselor chastised the boyfor his language and gave the
signal to the Cabin D boys thatit was time to put the fire out
and get to bed.
Before one of the boys fromCabin D could throw the water
bucket across the flames,another cried out in terror.
By the time anyone could turn tosee what caused the boy's cry,

(01:07:42):
the counselor had fallen to hisknees in front of the fire,
wheezing like his throat wasfull of cotton.
His eyes filled with redarteries bursting their way
toward his pupils, his headturned great purple at his
bulging temples.
The boys didn't know where toturn or what to do, all except
one.
James sat silently, stillstaring into the fire as the

(01:08:04):
panic ensued.
He looked over to a thick patchof supplejack and remained
unsurprised as a bloated,pawnweed constricted figure
pushed its way through the brushinto the light of the fire.
The thing was hunched over andheaving, struggling for breath
of its own, when a boy otherthan James noticed the beast.
In unison the boys screamed.

(01:08:25):
The creature lurched up and drewa deep breath, like a soft
scream.
It was purple of skin and greenof veins, and it grabbed the
kneeling counselor, collapsingon his mouth.
It vomited blackish green pondscum into the man's throat.
The boys fled into the woods inevery direction, wailing as they
ran, all except one.

(01:08:45):
All except James Wren, who saton his tree trunk and silently
watched the lacastrine fingerempty its lungs into the
wriggling camp counselor.
As the man slowly drowned on thedeposits of the pond, James
started his shoes dangling fromthe trunk.
He let himself breathe a sigh ofrelief and based in a rare
moment of internal serenity.

(01:09:06):
James thought, I always knewyou'd come back for me.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:15):
Aluminum Canoes was narrated by our friend Peter
Papaziclu, and I want to read alittle bit from Zachary Taylor,
the writer, to introduce himbecause again he's new to the
show.
Wish I were pensive.
Tend to be Maudlin, writer ofanything that makes me think of
my place in the world.
I've written poetry,screenplays, and short stories
all on topics that would make myparents regret me.

(01:09:36):
Thank God they gave me a commonname.
He also has an upcoming projectthat's prospectively titled A
Field for Artemis.
So we will keep our eyes peeledfor that.
Okay, Alan, tell us what youthought of aluminum canoes.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:48):
Uh I I like that we're ending with this because
this is the most Friday thethirteenth-esque story we have.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:55):
Totally, yes.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:56):
Mostly because there's violence on canoes.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:59):
In a camp lake.
Yes.
Yeah.
No, I mean I thought it was areally fresh version.
I don't know.
It is again very short andcontained, which we love, and
brought us into this world.
Like you you see the lore overthe years, which I also think is
something that feels very Fridaythe 13th.
And kind of this revisitation oftrauma from previous summers.

(01:10:20):
I loved the I don't know, justkind of the way that it all came
out around the fire.
It felt very campfire tales.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:27):
And it's just like, I don't know, there's something
kind of fucked up about vomitinginto people's mouths.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:32):
Yeah, I would say that's not great.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:34):
That's that's new to me.
I'm trying to think of when I'veseen that before, and I I got
nothing.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:41):
I'm sure there's horror movies where that
happens.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:44):
Filling someone else with vomit.
Vomit, not and not just like uhI'm sick at a party accidental
kiss, but like I'm gonna killyou by doing this.
That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:54):
It's pretty evil, I guess.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:55):
Hell yeah.
It's pretty rock and roll.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:57):
Yeah.
And thank you so much to Peterand to Zachary for their work
for rounding out this thisseries here.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:04):
Great job, Peter.
Great job, Zachary.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:07):
As always, thank you guys so much for being here.
We had a lot of fun putting thistogether.
Sorry that this series came outso sporadically.
As we said last episode, ourwedding got in the way.
But here we are, we're back,really excited for 2026.
And we have some really coolepisodes coming up and already
pre planned for you.
So we promise to be moreconsistent.

(01:11:28):
Love you guys.
Talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:30):
Bye.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:30):
Bye.