March 30, 2024 • 34 mins
Ever found yourself chuckling over who gets to wield the rake during the first yard cleanup of spring? Terrance and I, have definitely been there, and in our latest chat, we're spilling the beans on how digital literacy is reshaping not just the seasons but everything from parenting to paying the bills. Lawnmowers might soon be smarter than our smartphones, and while we're not there yet, we're definitely seeing the impact of tech on our family dynamics.
Remember the days when "digital etiquette" wasn't a thing? Those times are long gone, and now, we're the ones schooling our kids on the do's and don'ts of online behavior. It's not just about good manners; it's about safety, responsibility, and getting ahead of the digital curve. And for all you parents out there who might still be mystified by your child's tablet, don't worry – Terrance and I are right there with you, navigating the same tricky terrain.
As we wrap up another episode full of stories, insights, and a good dose of humor, we invite you to join the conversation. Whether you're a tech guru or a digital novice, we're all in this together, trying to strike the perfect balance between freedom and boundaries for our kids in this online world. So plug in, tune in, and let's keep this dialogue going strong until the leaves fall again.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Announcer (00:00):
In a relationship, when is honesty not the best
policy?
How do you balance what youwant versus what you need, and
is there something you need tosay to your spouse but can't
find the right way to say it?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
This is the Lunch with Sandypodcast.
With nearly 20 years ofmarriage under their belts,
Terrance and Sandy Jacksondiscuss a range of topics,
(00:22):
provide valuable insights onrelationships and talk about the
conversations married couplesneed to have.
So what does lunch have to dowith all of this?
Well, it's a metaphor for howthese conversations originally
started.
Speaking of conversations,let's get one going.
Here's your hosts, Terrance andSandy.
Terrance (00:43):
Welcome to another episode of the Lunch with Sandy
podcast, where we delve intovarious topics and offer
insights from the perspective ofa married couple.
I'm Terrance.
Sandy (00:53):
And I'm Sandy.
Terrance (00:54):
And today, Sandy, we are going to be talking about
growing up in this new digitalage.
But first, please remember tofollow the Lunch with Sandy
podcast on your favoritepodcasting app.
Also be sure to follow the showon all social media platforms.
At lunch with Sandy.
Speaking of Sandy, hope youwait your turn.
Let me get it out how you doingtoday, Sandy.
Sandy (01:22):
I'm doing well.
I'm very excited to see all theplants blooming outside.
It's so pretty.
I love that about this time ofthe year.
Terrance (01:31):
You know what you should be excited about, not the
plants.
Sandy (01:34):
That when you said this digital world, all I heard in my
head was let's go Barbie.
That song is.
Terrance (01:43):
I do remember the song , but I don't know why you heard
that.
What you need to be excitedabout is cleaning up all them
leaves that we got to clean upthat you might not see.
Sandy (01:51):
Oh well, yeah, I'm excited for you to clean them up
.
Terrance (01:53):
No, this year everyone's putting in the same
amount of effort when it comesto cleaning up these leaves.
Sandy (02:00):
Okay.
Terrance (02:01):
That includes you and the one who's sleeping upstairs.
Sandy (02:06):
Yeah, she must be going through some kind of growth,
spreading or something again.
Terrance (02:10):
Oh, listen, maybe she was partying all night and
before you came in she went tosleep.
Listen, you've got to stopsetting a bad example.
Be home in a timely fashion soshe understands that bedtime is
bedtime.
You can't be out partying allthe time.
Sandy (02:26):
Not for nothing.
I was out last night.
I still got up before her andwent for a five mile run and got
home.
So I feel like I am a good rolemodel.
Terrance (02:37):
But you didn't get up before me.
Sandy (02:39):
No, well, she doesn't know that.
What difference does that makeyou?
Terrance (02:43):
know you took a bunch of five mile run.
I rode 13 miles on the bike andI would have did 17.
Sandy (02:47):
I just mean, like I feel like I am setting it to be a
good role model.
Like she knows, I went out lastnight.
As far as she knew, she went tobed before me.
I came home I still got upbefore her.
Terrance (02:59):
I went for my five mile run, Like you know you do
understand that kids mimic onlywhat they want to, not all
aspects.
Sandy (03:08):
So they see, the staying out late part is what she's
going to mention she's trying tomimic, not the getting up in
the morning.
Terrance (03:14):
Yes, and she's always trying she already is trying to
convince you to stay out latertonight.
You see where it's going withthat.
She's trying to convince you tostay out later tonight.
Speaking of cleaning up theleaves, you know this day and
age.
Well, I'm waiting for them toinvent a device that will just
(03:35):
go out there and clean it up forme.
I'm not talking about hiringanyone, because right now, the
higher role.
Sandy (03:42):
I'm right on my lower is for no sucking up the leaves.
Terrance (03:46):
No, for right on more.
What you don't understand isthere are specific attachments
that you have to get for that.
I'm just going to get theattachment.
All right, that's what I'mgoing to.
That's what's going to happen.
I didn't say we.
So, then don't interrupt mespeaking about how I want a
device that will just come outthere and actually clean it up.
(04:07):
I'm surprised that they don'thave.
I remember a few years back youmight not remember this Amazon
was piloting this deliveryservice through drones and you
don't hear what happened withthat.
Sandy (04:24):
Well, I think that's probably on purpose.
Terrance (04:29):
Well, I mean it's funny because, well, not that
it's funny in today's world,right?
You know we've talked a lotabout how kids have so much more
access and have so much of ahead start due to technology
that's available today.
The one thing that we haven'ttouched on is the fact that when
(04:53):
we start talking about, youknow, digital literacy, us as
adults, we got to start comingto the table.
When you think about it, now,everything now is digital, and
so we just were on vacationrecently, right, and a lot of
places don't take cash anymore.
(05:14):
And when you first say that,you think, ok, well, how is that
really related?
It's just from the perspective.
Technology has advanced thatyou know, with all these digital
wallets, the cards on thephones and all those things you
have, all these other means ofpayment.
Sandy (05:31):
I still don't understand that.
But yeah, you know I get it.
That's why Alah has a debitcard right, keeping up with the
dimes.
Terrance (05:38):
I went to.
Sandy (05:39):
But it's like why, other than you know concerns about,
you know theft from youremployees, like, why else
wouldn't you want to take?
Terrance (05:47):
that it's easier.
It's easier.
Here's the thing, and I'm notgoing to stray too far down the
path because it's going to getoff topic.
If you deal with cash now, youhave to be responsible for the
person who is actually takingthat cash to provide the correct
amount of change back.
That's true, all the handlingand all those things.
Another part of it, too, is youknow, cash is really dirty, but
(06:08):
anyway, I digress.
I went to an innovation daythis week for work and I got to
tell you the things.
The technology that's out thereand what it's capable of doing
is going to replace a lot ofpeople.
Sandy (06:29):
Well, it's funny because Danielle is going to start
training for half marathon andyou know how she got her
training plan?
By putting it into an AIchatbot and it pumped out a
training plan for her.
Terrance (06:44):
Now you know, with those things you got to, you
know you got to take them with agrain of salt because you got
to actually verify that stuff.
But the fact of the matter isthis it's actually pretty good.
Sandy (06:51):
I know, no, no, no, got it and yeah, we're following it.
Terrance (06:55):
It's just funny.
The fact of the matter is thismore and more places are using
technology and from the kidsperspective the kids growing up
now they're gonna be accustomedto it.
It's part of their daily lives.
Yeah, from our perspective, ifIf I wasn't in the field?
(07:16):
Well, I'm in the field, so Iknow.
But for those people who aren'tin the field, if they don't
start coming to the table, yeahthey're gonna get left in the
dust.
Sandy (07:25):
Well, I remember when aila was like three and she was,
or maybe even two, and she wasshowing me how to do stuff On
the iPad that she learned.
It's amazing.
Terrance (07:35):
I don't know how to do it's amazing how quickly they
actually pick that stuff up.
Yeah and so let me, let mefirst Let me define when I, when
I say digital literacy, whatI'm talking about is I'm talking
about a collection of skillsthat allow users to utilize
digital tools to the fullest.
So when a Kid goes to schooltoday, they're taught using all
(08:01):
these tools.
Yeah, from jump.
Sandy (08:04):
Well, yeah, whereas Well, yeah, we certainly did not go
to school with Chromebooks andall that stuff that these kids
go to school with today.
Terrance (08:13):
I remember in school I had a computer program in class
and what grade?
That was.
I think it was the eighth grade.
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no.
I wasn't the eighth grade.
No, I wasn't a grade that was.
I think that was my senior yearin high school.
Okay and they were using thefive inch floppy disks.
Sandy (08:33):
Yep.
Terrance (08:33):
Now that was advanced.
Back then there was no, we hadTypewriters yep.
When you got to college youmight have had one of those
brother.
They weren't called typewriters, they were word process, was a
little brother word processes.
But the stuff they got today isis well beyond that, and the
(08:54):
challenge for the generation whohas Not typically grown up that
way is Everything is just soDifferent now.
Sandy (09:09):
Mm-hmm.
Terrance (09:10):
Kids now exists in a digital space that didn't exist
before no, I remember my firstexperience the same.
Sandy (09:17):
So middle school we had typewriters.
I thought you know we werefancy at home because we have an
electric typewriter.
Mm-hmm that could even erasethings.
Yeah, Go back and white overstuff right, but my first
experience was also in middleschool with computers, but it
(09:37):
was just kind of like free timeplaying the Oregon Trail.
Terrance (09:41):
Yeah.
So when we start talking aboutwell, scratch that for a second
so the fact that the youngergeneration is so intertwined,
when we start talking about, youknow, digital literacy, the
(10:02):
digital age, the questionbecomes we know that when they
go to school, they're beingtaught this stuff Mm-hmm.
But the question becomes howmuch of An influence or how much
involvement should happen athome, as opposed to what's
happened in school.
And the reason why I say thatis, again, they're learning this
(10:26):
from jump, and it's a spacewhere, if you don't have a
presence in and you are notaware of it, you can't then
begin to understand what it isthat they're doing or what
they're going through.
Sandy (10:39):
Well, right, so we teach our children right etiquette on
how to behave at somebody else'shouse, how, to you know, behave
out there in the world.
The digital world is just adifferent space that you also
need to teach them properetiquette Like these are the
things you do and these are thethings you don't do right, yes,
and the thing that's so true.
Terrance (11:00):
The challenge that I think that we have as a society
is there's two things.
Well, you can look at it fromtwo perspectives one, what you
know, what you don't know, youdon't know.
And the other is out of sight,out of mind, and this is why I
asked the question how muchinvolvement or how much
responsibility should rest atthe home when we start talking
(11:22):
about how they move in thatdigital space, because the
digital world has such an impacton young, on the young, and you
said something very powerful.
We teach well, historically, weteach our kids how to behave in
certain situations, in certainplaces, but there's not a lot of
(11:46):
that that happens when let merefrain, let me take a step back
.
I don't know if the level ofteaching that used to happen
with okay, this is how youbehave in these situations is
happening when we start talkingabout kids and that digital
space, because remember now,from the perspective of what
(12:10):
they do in the digitalenvironment, it's nearly
everything now.
Yes, and you know.
Sandy (12:17):
In.
You know, we don't allow themto just go off willy-nilly and
do whatever they want, like athome.
No, we don't but Like why wouldthe digital space be any
different?
Like we shouldn't just be likeoh well, here now you have
access to even more than youwould Within the confine of
(12:39):
these walls, so go at it, havefun.
Like you, just you know Iwouldn't you like that to me
makes no sense.
Like, why wouldn't you havesome type of controls and in
conversations with your kidsabout that space as well?
Terrance (12:53):
I'll tell you why because if you're not part of
the digital age, or if you don'tUnderstand the digital age, if
you're aged out and when I sayaged out, what I mean by that is
if you haven't grown uputilizing these tools and you
have kids that do, if you don'ttake a vested interest or if you
(13:17):
don't put yourself in aposition to know what it is that
they're doing, yeah tellingthem one thing.
Telling them something is onething.
Yeah, being able to follow upand make sure that they're
actually following the actions,the example and the words that
you tell them is Somethingcompletely different, and if
you're not in that space, then Ithink that's where the
(13:38):
challenge comes up.
Sandy (13:39):
You're right, you hit the key, because I think in today's
age, who?
isn't in that space do you knowwhat I mean?
We May not have grown up inthis digital environment, but we
all have, like, smartphones andin everything like we're using
the digital stuff all the timeas well.
(14:00):
It's not like it's just thekids and not us, but you said
the key thing, which is actuallyFollowing up and understanding,
like what your kids are doingright, like that additional Few
steps that you have to then puttime, an energy into making sure
that you understandspecifically what they are using
(14:23):
.
Terrance (14:23):
Yeah, and you know what?
And here's what you can do,because I'm gonna put two of my
daughters on blast and I lovethem to death.
You can't just make assumptionsand I'm gonna use two examples.
I remember when we discoveredLexi had a Twitter account.
Sandy (14:40):
The Twitter.
I thought you were gonna goMySpace, wasn't it MySpace?
Terrance (14:43):
No, it wasn't MySpace.
Sandy (14:44):
Okay, it was Twitter.
Terrance (14:46):
It was Twitter and it wasn't so much.
Yeah, well, twitter's beenaround.
I mean, that's what I don'tlook, a lot of kids.
Twitter's been around for avery long time.
But the real surprise was whatshe was actually putting in the
Twitter account and it was stuffthat we would have never had
thought that she would be doing.
(15:06):
Fast forward.
Aila Aila created a burneraccount.
She didn't use her real name,and this was years ago.
She's gonna be 14, and this wasyears ago she had a burner
account.
Sandy (15:25):
I was forgot about that one.
Terrance (15:26):
Like, yeah, these kids , and the thing about it was
this we gave them the freedom,working off the assumption that
they wouldn't do that stuff, andthe problem is well, I think
the thing that we have tounderstand is now Stop trying to
assume.
Well, that's one thing.
If you go back right when wewere younger, our identity was
(15:50):
who we were, and by that what Imean is okay.
Well, if you ran track, thatwas part of your identity.
If you wore stylish clothes,that was part of your identity.
Today, kids' entire identityexists.
It exists in things like socialmedia and things like that.
So, from that perspective, theaccessibility that they have,
(16:14):
and accessibility to them, is somuch greater.
And it has so much more of animpact because you can get it
from everywhere.
And when I say you can get itfrom everywhere, I mean once
you're in that space.
If it's not controlled, anyonecan reach out to you.
Sandy (16:31):
So which makes me laugh, because I think about when I was
growing up as a young adult, Ididn't want picture evidence of
things.
That's the thing, listen, likein these kids.
They're just blasting it outthere and I'm like don't take
pictures.
I don't want evidence.
Terrance (16:49):
Look, you know the thing, that they're putting all
the receipts out there.
Sandy (16:54):
Right, I'm like you know, because if there's no
photographic evidence, it's allhearsay and you can't.
Terrance (17:01):
Yeah, you can't think about it.
As you know, there's the phraseyou can't.
You know, do in dirt, you can'tdo no.
Well, listen, I've seen somestuff where it's just blatant.
Now, the thing about it is noone's trying to hide anything.
Everything that you do is it'sout there for people to see.
And on the flip side, though,is that can be a huge issue,
(17:25):
because once your identity isintertwined with that digital
space, you're much moreaccessible to people, having an
impact on your mental health,your self consciousness, all of
those things, because you're outthere.
(17:48):
So you know your career.
Sandy (17:50):
I've seen things have gotten posted and people have
gotten fired from their jobsbecause the job well, the
company was not in line with thebehavior of their associates.
And it's not even like thatperson was on company time,
wasn't wearing like company logoor anything.
(18:10):
It's just your behavior.
You know, on and off the clockhas to represents that company.
So you know, you think you'resafe per se, because, whatever,
it's seven o'clock at night andnobody knows that you work for a
particular company.
They're going to find out,though, and that's exactly what
(18:31):
has happened.
I've seen it happen a few times.
Terrance (18:34):
That's why it's so important that when we talk
about that set of skills, thatit's not just a situation where
you, as a parent, you can affordto say, well, that's for the
younger generation, because youhave to be able to teach them,
to educate them and say, hey,listen, first off, I think the
(18:54):
biggest misconception that a lotof these people take is when
you do something online or youdo something in that digital
space, there's no consequences.
But that's incorrect Because,first off, once you put it out
there, it's out there.
There's no taking it back.
If I come to you and I saysomething and I want to say I
didn't say it, I can say, well,I didn't say that, she's making
it up.
Sandy (19:14):
Even if you delete it, I'm sure there's 10 people who
screen shot it.
Terrance (19:18):
Listen and the truth of the matter is nothing is ever
deleted.
Sandy (19:21):
Yeah, no.
Terrance (19:22):
Once it's in that digital space, it's not deleted.
No, you're right, you can thinkyou deleted it.
Sandy (19:27):
Yeah, and so this is the funny thing for me is that, you
know, in the beginning of theconversations I talked about
etiquette and I feel like thedigital space has its own set of
rules of what etiquette shouldbe.
Now, does everybody follow that?
No, however, you know, I feelpeople are more emboldened and
(19:47):
emblazoned because you don'thave that physical interaction,
like I'm not saying this to yourface 100%.
So I can just put those wordsout there.
But at the same time, yeah,you're right, there's going to
be consequences.
Like you post something, tonsof people are going to see it
and then, even if you take itdown, they've probably already
(20:09):
screenshoted it anyways.
Terrance (20:11):
Yeah, and you said something that, unfortunately,
is a side effect of all thattechnology has enabled us to do
People become far moreemboldened in what they want to
say.
Sandy (20:23):
Yeah.
And they see it as like theirplatform, like they can just say
whatever they want.
Terrance (20:28):
Well, they can say whatever they want and they can
talk about.
You know, the amount ofdisrespect that can come through
based off someone not sittingor standing in front of you is
incredible, and I think that youknow I was talking about the
self-esteem and mental health of, you know, kids and it being
(20:49):
such a big concern because theirworld is all intertwined in
this.
And I won't say all of thembecause there are still some
parents who say, hey, listen,I'm not, you're not mature
enough to actually be a part ofthat.
And, if you recall, we actuallydid take a lot from Ayla
because she had a whole bunch offreedom.
(21:10):
And again, part of it had to dowith, you know, we've parented
before, we have grown childrenand we had become a bit more.
Lack's a day's a call, I'm notgonna say.
Lack's a day's a day's a call,a bit more free with what we
were handing down forconsequences and repercussions.
Sandy (21:33):
Yeah, well, and it's funny because you know we had
those conversations with Ayla.
Like you know, you're too young, we don't think you're mature
enough to have this and I think,sadly, and I guess fortunately
she recognizes that and shehonestly, at this point in time,
(21:55):
doesn't even want it.
Terrance (21:57):
No, and you know, the unfortunate side effect of that
and I'm not specifically talkingwell, I'm gonna talk
specifically about Ayla is, andit's not just her, it's all kids
.
That social aspect is not theway it used to be, if you
remember.
Well, I remember that there wasalways a bunch of kids playing
(22:18):
in the street when I was younger.
There was always a bunch ofkids down at the basketball
court.
There was always a bunch ofkids all over the place and the
thing that they were doing werethey were actually interacting.
Sandy (22:30):
Now.
Terrance (22:31):
I do think kids still interact, they just do it
digitally.
Sandy (22:33):
Yeah.
Terrance (22:34):
And there are some social cues that aren't either
learned or get left out whenyou're talking to someone
through a device.
Sandy (22:45):
Yeah, but not to just even constantly harp on the
negatives.
I feel like this digital andbeing able to interact with kids
can be an opportunity.
Think about it back in the daywe had our pen pals.
Like I don't know what I mean.
(23:05):
This day and age, kids have theopportunity to connect with
other kids that are outside oftheir immediate radius.
It could be across the globe.
They can get to know people ofdifferent cultures and in
everything.
Unfortunately, I don't thinkthat that happens often, but
(23:26):
that's where I feel like theyhave such a wealth of
opportunity for them topersonally learn and grow.
So it would be nice if therewas just kind of like a safe
space for kids I'll use safespace because nothing is ever
really safe but at the same time, that they can just go in and
(23:46):
actually interact with oneanother.
Terrance (23:48):
Yeah, I think that if they had vetted programs for
that, I think it'd be great.
The reason why I say vettedprograms is because everything
you said is true, but there areother people who have digital
identities out there and theymisrepresent those identities.
And I think when we starttalking about and this is one of
(24:09):
the areas where, well, I'm notgonna go negative but we have to
look at the flip side of thataccess and the flip side of you
know, you can have this greattool and this great tool should
be used for great things, butthere's always going to be the
minority of individuals orpeople who are going to twist
that to meet their needs.
(24:31):
And I think it's one of thethings that we, as individuals,
have to be extremely concernedwith, because now we start
talking about, okay, we have allthese kids who have their
identity wrapped up in thisdigital space.
(24:51):
The people and the access thatthey have and the people that
come in contact with they canrepresent themselves as one
thing and be somethingcompletely different, and what
that does is it opens up a wholehost of issues.
You gotta be concerned withprejudice.
You gotta be concerned withindividuals who feel that
(25:16):
because they're in this digitalspace.
They can bully, so you gotta beconcerned with cyberbullies.
And then there's this wholeaspect of when you start talking
about the whole employmentthing.
Once you put something outthere, like I said, it's gone.
You can be in a situation whereyou make a statement and you
don't work for a company, butthen years later you go work for
(25:37):
a company and now someonediscovers some content that you
put online.
And now that's coming back toactually ruin your dreams.
Sandy (25:47):
Or, honestly, I think even HR is starting to look at
people's social profiles beforethey even hire.
Is this somebody we wantrepresenting our company?
Terrance (26:00):
So I'm gonna tell you a funny story, and I think I
might've told you this, but Idon't remember.
So you know, I had took a breakfrom social media for a few
years and it just so happenedthat I was elected to a
particular board and I remembergoing to the first meeting and
(26:24):
one individual was saying ohyeah, I tried to look you up on
social media but I couldn't findanything on you.
And I know why they were doingit because, listen, they wanna
make sure that when they'repicking someone who is going to
be a representation of thatcompany, they wanna make sure
that that person is going torepresent them in the best light
(26:47):
possible.
And one of the ways that you dothat is you do your homework.
And I didn't feel any sort ofway about it.
I mean, I was like and I saidlisten.
I said yeah, I said I haven'tbeen on social media for a hot
minute.
I mean I didn't use those exactterms, but it was a hot minute.
Sandy (27:04):
Well, right, and thinking about that, and even myself, I
took a small hiatus and I'mbarely even on it these days,
because sometimes it was hard toeven separate my emotional
feelings from what other peoplewere doing.
So how do we expect ourteenagers, who aren't even
(27:25):
mature enough in their emotions,to do that?
Terrance (27:29):
Yeah, and you know what I think?
One of the things that is andI'm not going to get too deep
into this because this is goingdown another path, but it still
has to do with the aspect of thedigital age you got to be
concerned with online grooming,and when I talk about online
grooming, I'm talking about itfrom a number of aspects.
(27:51):
Again, your kid, your teenager,your young child is on a social
media app or whatever, and theycome in contact with someone
who is misrepresented themselves, and you don't know that, and a
child doesn't know that, and sonow they start to put ideas in
the mind of your kid, preppingthem for something.
(28:14):
Or let's go in anotherdirection.
So many people have found thatI can do a certain number of
things in this digital spacethat will earn me money.
Sandy (28:25):
Yeah.
Terrance (28:26):
That doesn't always provide the best representation
from them.
Sandy (28:32):
Yeah.
Terrance (28:33):
Our kids mimic what they see, and if they see that
someone else can have aparticular amount of success, or
someone or so many people aredoing this, now you actually
have to fight that battle also.
So, again, there are so manypositive things that you can get
out of specific tools, but whenwe start talking about that
(28:56):
digital space and digitalliteracy, us as adults, us as
parents, we have to be able tokeep pace with the kids, because
the stuff that they're able todo far exceeds what a lot of us
can do, and they can do it atsuch a younger age.
Sandy (29:19):
For sure, and not to keep harping on the negatives, but
when you talk about the mentalhealth and the self esteem, too
is social media everybody tries,I think, also to put their best
foot forward.
They're not going to air theirdirty laundry per se on their
social media profiles.
(29:40):
So here you are scrollingthrough things like oh my
goodness, I wish I could be likethem.
All they do is travel the worldand stuff like that, and so it
just I think it sometimes setsan expectation of what the kid
is missing out on or whatever,you know what I mean All of a
(30:02):
sudden idolizing certain things.
That maybe isn't always thecase or well represented.
Terrance (30:10):
Yeah, and you know the other thing, and I don't know
how I miss this Once youridentity is out there, it's open
for someone to actually stealit.
Sandy (30:19):
Oh yeah.
My mom just had a second, somany take her profile pic and
make a second profile pic.
Terrance (30:25):
Yeah, and the thing about it is it's so easy to do
and you don't look If I got mywallet in my hand and my ID is
in it, if someone takes thatfrom me, I know if the digital
world didn't exist, because nowyou use that stuff in so many
(30:48):
different places and there areso many breaches that people get
a hold of this information.
And let's even take it outsideof this.
I mean, lexi just had asituation where she had her
identity stolen and someonetried to open up some credit
cards and things like that.
That is a byproduct of thedigital age that we actually
(31:13):
live in.
Now, if we had stone tabletsand chisels, then it might be a
little harder, it might be alittle bit safer.
So I mean, I think that havingthe accessibility, having all
these tools, are great.
Sandy (31:28):
Yeah.
Terrance (31:28):
I think the challenge comes in where, as adults, we
don't do our due diligence tomake sure that we're as prepared
as we can be, to make sure thatthe younger generation and the
kids get the education, thetraining and the actual input
from us that they need, to makesure, as they're navigating that
(31:49):
space, that they're actuallysafe.
Sandy (31:51):
Yeah, I agree, I think we could be doing a better job
with that.
I do feel, at least, that theschools this day and age,
because I remember with Lexi andShayna they didn't really talk
about it, it was more like dare.
You know I mean it was justlike drugs and alcohol and this
and that, but I feel like atleast the schools now are
talking more about the digitalspace, like cyberbullying, the
(32:12):
predators.
So they at least do, I think,put some foundation down.
But us, as parents, we need todo a better job.
Terrance (32:22):
Yeah, I'm glad you said that last part again,
because when we were talkingabout some of the differences
between raising a boy and a girl, this is going episodes back
and we were talking about whothe onus is on.
I think too many times parentsput the responsibility on the
school, and it's great that theschool does that stuff.
Sandy (32:41):
I agree.
Terrance (32:41):
But as a parent, you need the parent.
Sandy (32:43):
Yeah, exactly.
Terrance (32:46):
So let's wrap this up here, and I got a nice little
statement that I'm going to readfor you, which is not something
I do very often.
Sandy (32:53):
But I prepared this.
I'm waiting anxiously.
Terrance (32:56):
Growing up in the digital age creates
opportunities for innovation,connectivity and challenges.
It's essential to recognize theprofound impact of technology
on our lives and the lives offuture generations.
From shaping identities tofostering activism, from
reshaping family dynamics toredefining the future of work,
the digital age offers boundlessopportunities and formidable
(33:20):
hurdles.
Yet, amidst the whirlwinds ofbites and pixels, one constant
remains the resiliency andadaptability of the human spirit
.
By fostering digital literacy,promoting online safety,
nurturing meaningful connectionsand embracing mindful
(33:40):
technology use that's importantwe can empower ourselves and the
generations to come to navigatethis brave new world with
wisdom, compassion and purpose.
So let us embark on thisjourney together, mindful of the
past, present and the infinitepossibilities of the future that
lies ahead in the digital age.
(34:01):
Thank you for joining us on theLunch with Sandy podcast.
Please be sure to follow us andleave feedback on your favorite
podcasting app, as well associal media, at Lunch with
Sandy.
Until next time, stay well.
Announcer (34:14):
That's it for this week's episode of the Lunch with
Sandy podcast.
Thanks for listening.
We'd love to hear your feedbackand comments on Instagram,
TikTok and Twitter at Lunch withSandy, and be sure to follow us
on your favorite podcast app.
If you enjoyed the show, don'tforget to rate and review us.
Thanks again for listening tothe Lunch with Sandy podcast.
In a relationship, when is honesty not the best
policy?
How do you balance what youwant versus what you need, and
is there something you need tosay to your spouse but can't
find the right way to say it?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
This is the Lunch with Sandypodcast.
With nearly 20 years ofmarriage under their belts,
Terrance and Sandy Jacksondiscuss a range of topics,
(00:22):
provide valuable insights onrelationships and talk about the
conversations married couplesneed to have.
So what does lunch have to dowith all of this?
Well, it's a metaphor for howthese conversations originally
started.
Speaking of conversations,let's get one going.
Here's your hosts, Terrance andSandy.
Terrance (00:43):
Welcome to another episode of the Lunch with Sandy
podcast, where we delve intovarious topics and offer
insights from the perspective ofa married couple.
I'm Terrance.
Sandy (00:53):
And I'm Sandy.
Terrance (00:54):
And today, Sandy, we are going to be talking about
growing up in this new digitalage.
But first, please remember tofollow the Lunch with Sandy
podcast on your favoritepodcasting app.
Also be sure to follow the showon all social media platforms.
At lunch with Sandy.
Speaking of Sandy, hope youwait your turn.
Let me get it out how you doingtoday, Sandy.
Sandy (01:22):
I'm doing well.
I'm very excited to see all theplants blooming outside.
It's so pretty.
I love that about this time ofthe year.
Terrance (01:31):
You know what you should be excited about, not the
plants.
Sandy (01:34):
That when you said this digital world, all I heard in my
head was let's go Barbie.
That song is.
Terrance (01:43):
I do remember the song , but I don't know why you heard
that.
What you need to be excitedabout is cleaning up all them
leaves that we got to clean upthat you might not see.
Sandy (01:51):
Oh well, yeah, I'm excited for you to clean them up
.
Terrance (01:53):
No, this year everyone's putting in the same
amount of effort when it comesto cleaning up these leaves.
Sandy (02:00):
Okay.
Terrance (02:01):
That includes you and the one who's sleeping upstairs.
Sandy (02:06):
Yeah, she must be going through some kind of growth,
spreading or something again.
Terrance (02:10):
Oh, listen, maybe she was partying all night and
before you came in she went tosleep.
Listen, you've got to stopsetting a bad example.
Be home in a timely fashion soshe understands that bedtime is
bedtime.
You can't be out partying allthe time.
Sandy (02:26):
Not for nothing.
I was out last night.
I still got up before her andwent for a five mile run and got
home.
So I feel like I am a good rolemodel.
Terrance (02:37):
But you didn't get up before me.
Sandy (02:39):
No, well, she doesn't know that.
What difference does that makeyou?
Terrance (02:43):
know you took a bunch of five mile run.
I rode 13 miles on the bike andI would have did 17.
Sandy (02:47):
I just mean, like I feel like I am setting it to be a
good role model.
Like she knows, I went out lastnight.
As far as she knew, she went tobed before me.
I came home I still got upbefore her.
Terrance (02:59):
I went for my five mile run, Like you know you do
understand that kids mimic onlywhat they want to, not all
aspects.
Sandy (03:08):
So they see, the staying out late part is what she's
going to mention she's trying tomimic, not the getting up in
the morning.
Terrance (03:14):
Yes, and she's always trying she already is trying to
convince you to stay out latertonight.
You see where it's going withthat.
She's trying to convince you tostay out later tonight.
Speaking of cleaning up theleaves, you know this day and
age.
Well, I'm waiting for them toinvent a device that will just
(03:35):
go out there and clean it up forme.
I'm not talking about hiringanyone, because right now, the
higher role.
Sandy (03:42):
I'm right on my lower is for no sucking up the leaves.
Terrance (03:46):
No, for right on more.
What you don't understand isthere are specific attachments
that you have to get for that.
I'm just going to get theattachment.
All right, that's what I'mgoing to.
That's what's going to happen.
I didn't say we.
So, then don't interrupt mespeaking about how I want a
device that will just come outthere and actually clean it up.
(04:07):
I'm surprised that they don'thave.
I remember a few years back youmight not remember this Amazon
was piloting this deliveryservice through drones and you
don't hear what happened withthat.
Sandy (04:24):
Well, I think that's probably on purpose.
Terrance (04:29):
Well, I mean it's funny because, well, not that
it's funny in today's world,right?
You know we've talked a lotabout how kids have so much more
access and have so much of ahead start due to technology
that's available today.
The one thing that we haven'ttouched on is the fact that when
(04:53):
we start talking about, youknow, digital literacy, us as
adults, we got to start comingto the table.
When you think about it, now,everything now is digital, and
so we just were on vacationrecently, right, and a lot of
places don't take cash anymore.
(05:14):
And when you first say that,you think, ok, well, how is that
really related?
It's just from the perspective.
Technology has advanced thatyou know, with all these digital
wallets, the cards on thephones and all those things you
have, all these other means ofpayment.
Sandy (05:31):
I still don't understand that.
But yeah, you know I get it.
That's why Alah has a debitcard right, keeping up with the
dimes.
Terrance (05:38):
I went to.
Sandy (05:39):
But it's like why, other than you know concerns about,
you know theft from youremployees, like, why else
wouldn't you want to take?
Terrance (05:47):
that it's easier.
It's easier.
Here's the thing, and I'm notgoing to stray too far down the
path because it's going to getoff topic.
If you deal with cash now, youhave to be responsible for the
person who is actually takingthat cash to provide the correct
amount of change back.
That's true, all the handlingand all those things.
Another part of it, too, is youknow, cash is really dirty, but
(06:08):
anyway, I digress.
I went to an innovation daythis week for work and I got to
tell you the things.
The technology that's out thereand what it's capable of doing
is going to replace a lot ofpeople.
Sandy (06:29):
Well, it's funny because Danielle is going to start
training for half marathon andyou know how she got her
training plan?
By putting it into an AIchatbot and it pumped out a
training plan for her.
Terrance (06:44):
Now you know, with those things you got to, you
know you got to take them with agrain of salt because you got
to actually verify that stuff.
But the fact of the matter isthis it's actually pretty good.
Sandy (06:51):
I know, no, no, no, got it and yeah, we're following it.
Terrance (06:55):
It's just funny.
The fact of the matter is thismore and more places are using
technology and from the kidsperspective the kids growing up
now they're gonna be accustomedto it.
It's part of their daily lives.
Yeah, from our perspective, ifIf I wasn't in the field?
(07:16):
Well, I'm in the field, so Iknow.
But for those people who aren'tin the field, if they don't
start coming to the table, yeahthey're gonna get left in the
dust.
Sandy (07:25):
Well, I remember when aila was like three and she was,
or maybe even two, and she wasshowing me how to do stuff On
the iPad that she learned.
It's amazing.
Terrance (07:35):
I don't know how to do it's amazing how quickly they
actually pick that stuff up.
Yeah and so let me, let mefirst Let me define when I, when
I say digital literacy, whatI'm talking about is I'm talking
about a collection of skillsthat allow users to utilize
digital tools to the fullest.
So when a Kid goes to schooltoday, they're taught using all
(08:01):
these tools.
Yeah, from jump.
Sandy (08:04):
Well, yeah, whereas Well, yeah, we certainly did not go
to school with Chromebooks andall that stuff that these kids
go to school with today.
Terrance (08:13):
I remember in school I had a computer program in class
and what grade?
That was.
I think it was the eighth grade.
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no.
I wasn't the eighth grade.
No, I wasn't a grade that was.
I think that was my senior yearin high school.
Okay and they were using thefive inch floppy disks.
Sandy (08:33):
Yep.
Terrance (08:33):
Now that was advanced.
Back then there was no, we hadTypewriters yep.
When you got to college youmight have had one of those
brother.
They weren't called typewriters, they were word process, was a
little brother word processes.
But the stuff they got today isis well beyond that, and the
(08:54):
challenge for the generation whohas Not typically grown up that
way is Everything is just soDifferent now.
Sandy (09:09):
Mm-hmm.
Terrance (09:10):
Kids now exists in a digital space that didn't exist
before no, I remember my firstexperience the same.
Sandy (09:17):
So middle school we had typewriters.
I thought you know we werefancy at home because we have an
electric typewriter.
Mm-hmm that could even erasethings.
Yeah, Go back and white overstuff right, but my first
experience was also in middleschool with computers, but it
(09:37):
was just kind of like free timeplaying the Oregon Trail.
Terrance (09:41):
Yeah.
So when we start talking aboutwell, scratch that for a second
so the fact that the youngergeneration is so intertwined,
when we start talking about, youknow, digital literacy, the
(10:02):
digital age, the questionbecomes we know that when they
go to school, they're beingtaught this stuff Mm-hmm.
But the question becomes howmuch of An influence or how much
involvement should happen athome, as opposed to what's
happened in school.
And the reason why I say thatis, again, they're learning this
(10:26):
from jump, and it's a spacewhere, if you don't have a
presence in and you are notaware of it, you can't then
begin to understand what it isthat they're doing or what
they're going through.
Sandy (10:39):
Well, right, so we teach our children right etiquette on
how to behave at somebody else'shouse, how, to you know, behave
out there in the world.
The digital world is just adifferent space that you also
need to teach them properetiquette Like these are the
things you do and these are thethings you don't do right, yes,
and the thing that's so true.
Terrance (11:00):
The challenge that I think that we have as a society
is there's two things.
Well, you can look at it fromtwo perspectives one, what you
know, what you don't know, youdon't know.
And the other is out of sight,out of mind, and this is why I
asked the question how muchinvolvement or how much
responsibility should rest atthe home when we start talking
(11:22):
about how they move in thatdigital space, because the
digital world has such an impacton young, on the young, and you
said something very powerful.
We teach well, historically, weteach our kids how to behave in
certain situations, in certainplaces, but there's not a lot of
(11:46):
that that happens when let merefrain, let me take a step back
.
I don't know if the level ofteaching that used to happen
with okay, this is how youbehave in these situations is
happening when we start talkingabout kids and that digital
space, because remember now,from the perspective of what
(12:10):
they do in the digitalenvironment, it's nearly
everything now.
Yes, and you know.
Sandy (12:17):
In.
You know, we don't allow themto just go off willy-nilly and
do whatever they want, like athome.
No, we don't but Like why wouldthe digital space be any
different?
Like we shouldn't just be likeoh well, here now you have
access to even more than youwould Within the confine of
(12:39):
these walls, so go at it, havefun.
Like you, just you know Iwouldn't you like that to me
makes no sense.
Like, why wouldn't you havesome type of controls and in
conversations with your kidsabout that space as well?
Terrance (12:53):
I'll tell you why because if you're not part of
the digital age, or if you don'tUnderstand the digital age, if
you're aged out and when I sayaged out, what I mean by that is
if you haven't grown uputilizing these tools and you
have kids that do, if you don'ttake a vested interest or if you
(13:17):
don't put yourself in aposition to know what it is that
they're doing, yeah tellingthem one thing.
Telling them something is onething.
Yeah, being able to follow upand make sure that they're
actually following the actions,the example and the words that
you tell them is Somethingcompletely different, and if
you're not in that space, then Ithink that's where the
(13:38):
challenge comes up.
Sandy (13:39):
You're right, you hit the key, because I think in today's
age, who?
isn't in that space do you knowwhat I mean?
We May not have grown up inthis digital environment, but we
all have, like, smartphones andin everything like we're using
the digital stuff all the timeas well.
(14:00):
It's not like it's just thekids and not us, but you said
the key thing, which is actuallyFollowing up and understanding,
like what your kids are doingright, like that additional Few
steps that you have to then puttime, an energy into making sure
that you understandspecifically what they are using
(14:23):
.
Terrance (14:23):
Yeah, and you know what?
And here's what you can do,because I'm gonna put two of my
daughters on blast and I lovethem to death.
You can't just make assumptionsand I'm gonna use two examples.
I remember when we discoveredLexi had a Twitter account.
Sandy (14:40):
The Twitter.
I thought you were gonna goMySpace, wasn't it MySpace?
Terrance (14:43):
No, it wasn't MySpace.
Sandy (14:44):
Okay, it was Twitter.
Terrance (14:46):
It was Twitter and it wasn't so much.
Yeah, well, twitter's beenaround.
I mean, that's what I don'tlook, a lot of kids.
Twitter's been around for avery long time.
But the real surprise was whatshe was actually putting in the
Twitter account and it was stuffthat we would have never had
thought that she would be doing.
(15:06):
Fast forward.
Aila Aila created a burneraccount.
She didn't use her real name,and this was years ago.
She's gonna be 14, and this wasyears ago she had a burner
account.
Sandy (15:25):
I was forgot about that one.
Terrance (15:26):
Like, yeah, these kids , and the thing about it was
this we gave them the freedom,working off the assumption that
they wouldn't do that stuff, andthe problem is well, I think
the thing that we have tounderstand is now Stop trying to
assume.
Well, that's one thing.
If you go back right when wewere younger, our identity was
(15:50):
who we were, and by that what Imean is okay.
Well, if you ran track, thatwas part of your identity.
If you wore stylish clothes,that was part of your identity.
Today, kids' entire identityexists.
It exists in things like socialmedia and things like that.
So, from that perspective, theaccessibility that they have,
(16:14):
and accessibility to them, is somuch greater.
And it has so much more of animpact because you can get it
from everywhere.
And when I say you can get itfrom everywhere, I mean once
you're in that space.
If it's not controlled, anyonecan reach out to you.
Sandy (16:31):
So which makes me laugh, because I think about when I was
growing up as a young adult, Ididn't want picture evidence of
things.
That's the thing, listen, likein these kids.
They're just blasting it outthere and I'm like don't take
pictures.
I don't want evidence.
Terrance (16:49):
Look, you know the thing, that they're putting all
the receipts out there.
Sandy (16:54):
Right, I'm like you know, because if there's no
photographic evidence, it's allhearsay and you can't.
Terrance (17:01):
Yeah, you can't think about it.
As you know, there's the phraseyou can't.
You know, do in dirt, you can'tdo no.
Well, listen, I've seen somestuff where it's just blatant.
Now, the thing about it is noone's trying to hide anything.
Everything that you do is it'sout there for people to see.
And on the flip side, though,is that can be a huge issue,
(17:25):
because once your identity isintertwined with that digital
space, you're much moreaccessible to people, having an
impact on your mental health,your self consciousness, all of
those things, because you're outthere.
(17:48):
So you know your career.
Sandy (17:50):
I've seen things have gotten posted and people have
gotten fired from their jobsbecause the job well, the
company was not in line with thebehavior of their associates.
And it's not even like thatperson was on company time,
wasn't wearing like company logoor anything.
(18:10):
It's just your behavior.
You know, on and off the clockhas to represents that company.
So you know, you think you'resafe per se, because, whatever,
it's seven o'clock at night andnobody knows that you work for a
particular company.
They're going to find out,though, and that's exactly what
(18:31):
has happened.
I've seen it happen a few times.
Terrance (18:34):
That's why it's so important that when we talk
about that set of skills, thatit's not just a situation where
you, as a parent, you can affordto say, well, that's for the
younger generation, because youhave to be able to teach them,
to educate them and say, hey,listen, first off, I think the
(18:54):
biggest misconception that a lotof these people take is when
you do something online or youdo something in that digital
space, there's no consequences.
But that's incorrect Because,first off, once you put it out
there, it's out there.
There's no taking it back.
If I come to you and I saysomething and I want to say I
didn't say it, I can say, well,I didn't say that, she's making
it up.
Sandy (19:14):
Even if you delete it, I'm sure there's 10 people who
screen shot it.
Terrance (19:18):
Listen and the truth of the matter is nothing is ever
deleted.
Sandy (19:21):
Yeah, no.
Terrance (19:22):
Once it's in that digital space, it's not deleted.
No, you're right, you can thinkyou deleted it.
Sandy (19:27):
Yeah, and so this is the funny thing for me is that, you
know, in the beginning of theconversations I talked about
etiquette and I feel like thedigital space has its own set of
rules of what etiquette shouldbe.
Now, does everybody follow that?
No, however, you know, I feelpeople are more emboldened and
(19:47):
emblazoned because you don'thave that physical interaction,
like I'm not saying this to yourface 100%.
So I can just put those wordsout there.
But at the same time, yeah,you're right, there's going to
be consequences.
Like you post something, tonsof people are going to see it
and then, even if you take itdown, they've probably already
(20:09):
screenshoted it anyways.
Terrance (20:11):
Yeah, and you said something that, unfortunately,
is a side effect of all thattechnology has enabled us to do
People become far moreemboldened in what they want to
say.
Sandy (20:23):
Yeah.
And they see it as like theirplatform, like they can just say
whatever they want.
Terrance (20:28):
Well, they can say whatever they want and they can
talk about.
You know, the amount ofdisrespect that can come through
based off someone not sittingor standing in front of you is
incredible, and I think that youknow I was talking about the
self-esteem and mental health of, you know, kids and it being
(20:49):
such a big concern because theirworld is all intertwined in
this.
And I won't say all of thembecause there are still some
parents who say, hey, listen,I'm not, you're not mature
enough to actually be a part ofthat.
And, if you recall, we actuallydid take a lot from Ayla
because she had a whole bunch offreedom.
(21:10):
And again, part of it had to dowith, you know, we've parented
before, we have grown childrenand we had become a bit more.
Lack's a day's a call, I'm notgonna say.
Lack's a day's a day's a call,a bit more free with what we
were handing down forconsequences and repercussions.
Sandy (21:33):
Yeah, well, and it's funny because you know we had
those conversations with Ayla.
Like you know, you're too young, we don't think you're mature
enough to have this and I think,sadly, and I guess fortunately
she recognizes that and shehonestly, at this point in time,
(21:55):
doesn't even want it.
Terrance (21:57):
No, and you know, the unfortunate side effect of that
and I'm not specifically talkingwell, I'm gonna talk
specifically about Ayla is, andit's not just her, it's all kids
.
That social aspect is not theway it used to be, if you
remember.
Well, I remember that there wasalways a bunch of kids playing
(22:18):
in the street when I was younger.
There was always a bunch ofkids down at the basketball
court.
There was always a bunch ofkids all over the place and the
thing that they were doing werethey were actually interacting.
Sandy (22:30):
Now.
Terrance (22:31):
I do think kids still interact, they just do it
digitally.
Sandy (22:33):
Yeah.
Terrance (22:34):
And there are some social cues that aren't either
learned or get left out whenyou're talking to someone
through a device.
Sandy (22:45):
Yeah, but not to just even constantly harp on the
negatives.
I feel like this digital andbeing able to interact with kids
can be an opportunity.
Think about it back in the daywe had our pen pals.
Like I don't know what I mean.
(23:05):
This day and age, kids have theopportunity to connect with
other kids that are outside oftheir immediate radius.
It could be across the globe.
They can get to know people ofdifferent cultures and in
everything.
Unfortunately, I don't thinkthat that happens often, but
(23:26):
that's where I feel like theyhave such a wealth of
opportunity for them topersonally learn and grow.
So it would be nice if therewas just kind of like a safe
space for kids I'll use safespace because nothing is ever
really safe but at the same time, that they can just go in and
(23:46):
actually interact with oneanother.
Terrance (23:48):
Yeah, I think that if they had vetted programs for
that, I think it'd be great.
The reason why I say vettedprograms is because everything
you said is true, but there areother people who have digital
identities out there and theymisrepresent those identities.
And I think when we starttalking about and this is one of
(24:09):
the areas where, well, I'm notgonna go negative but we have to
look at the flip side of thataccess and the flip side of you
know, you can have this greattool and this great tool should
be used for great things, butthere's always going to be the
minority of individuals orpeople who are going to twist
that to meet their needs.
(24:31):
And I think it's one of thethings that we, as individuals,
have to be extremely concernedwith, because now we start
talking about, okay, we have allthese kids who have their
identity wrapped up in thisdigital space.
(24:51):
The people and the access thatthey have and the people that
come in contact with they canrepresent themselves as one
thing and be somethingcompletely different, and what
that does is it opens up a wholehost of issues.
You gotta be concerned withprejudice.
You gotta be concerned withindividuals who feel that
(25:16):
because they're in this digitalspace.
They can bully, so you gotta beconcerned with cyberbullies.
And then there's this wholeaspect of when you start talking
about the whole employmentthing.
Once you put something outthere, like I said, it's gone.
You can be in a situation whereyou make a statement and you
don't work for a company, butthen years later you go work for
(25:37):
a company and now someonediscovers some content that you
put online.
And now that's coming back toactually ruin your dreams.
Sandy (25:47):
Or, honestly, I think even HR is starting to look at
people's social profiles beforethey even hire.
Is this somebody we wantrepresenting our company?
Terrance (26:00):
So I'm gonna tell you a funny story, and I think I
might've told you this, but Idon't remember.
So you know, I had took a breakfrom social media for a few
years and it just so happenedthat I was elected to a
particular board and I remembergoing to the first meeting and
(26:24):
one individual was saying ohyeah, I tried to look you up on
social media but I couldn't findanything on you.
And I know why they were doingit because, listen, they wanna
make sure that when they'repicking someone who is going to
be a representation of thatcompany, they wanna make sure
that that person is going torepresent them in the best light
(26:47):
possible.
And one of the ways that you dothat is you do your homework.
And I didn't feel any sort ofway about it.
I mean, I was like and I saidlisten.
I said yeah, I said I haven'tbeen on social media for a hot
minute.
I mean I didn't use those exactterms, but it was a hot minute.
Sandy (27:04):
Well, right, and thinking about that, and even myself, I
took a small hiatus and I'mbarely even on it these days,
because sometimes it was hard toeven separate my emotional
feelings from what other peoplewere doing.
So how do we expect ourteenagers, who aren't even
(27:25):
mature enough in their emotions,to do that?
Terrance (27:29):
Yeah, and you know what I think?
One of the things that is andI'm not going to get too deep
into this because this is goingdown another path, but it still
has to do with the aspect of thedigital age you got to be
concerned with online grooming,and when I talk about online
grooming, I'm talking about itfrom a number of aspects.
(27:51):
Again, your kid, your teenager,your young child is on a social
media app or whatever, and theycome in contact with someone
who is misrepresented themselves, and you don't know that, and a
child doesn't know that, and sonow they start to put ideas in
the mind of your kid, preppingthem for something.
(28:14):
Or let's go in anotherdirection.
So many people have found thatI can do a certain number of
things in this digital spacethat will earn me money.
Sandy (28:25):
Yeah.
Terrance (28:26):
That doesn't always provide the best representation
from them.
Sandy (28:32):
Yeah.
Terrance (28:33):
Our kids mimic what they see, and if they see that
someone else can have aparticular amount of success, or
someone or so many people aredoing this, now you actually
have to fight that battle also.
So, again, there are so manypositive things that you can get
out of specific tools, but whenwe start talking about that
(28:56):
digital space and digitalliteracy, us as adults, us as
parents, we have to be able tokeep pace with the kids, because
the stuff that they're able todo far exceeds what a lot of us
can do, and they can do it atsuch a younger age.
Sandy (29:19):
For sure, and not to keep harping on the negatives, but
when you talk about the mentalhealth and the self esteem, too
is social media everybody tries,I think, also to put their best
foot forward.
They're not going to air theirdirty laundry per se on their
social media profiles.
(29:40):
So here you are scrollingthrough things like oh my
goodness, I wish I could be likethem.
All they do is travel the worldand stuff like that, and so it
just I think it sometimes setsan expectation of what the kid
is missing out on or whatever,you know what I mean All of a
(30:02):
sudden idolizing certain things.
That maybe isn't always thecase or well represented.
Terrance (30:10):
Yeah, and you know the other thing, and I don't know
how I miss this Once youridentity is out there, it's open
for someone to actually stealit.
Sandy (30:19):
Oh yeah.
My mom just had a second, somany take her profile pic and
make a second profile pic.
Terrance (30:25):
Yeah, and the thing about it is it's so easy to do
and you don't look If I got mywallet in my hand and my ID is
in it, if someone takes thatfrom me, I know if the digital
world didn't exist, because nowyou use that stuff in so many
(30:48):
different places and there areso many breaches that people get
a hold of this information.
And let's even take it outsideof this.
I mean, lexi just had asituation where she had her
identity stolen and someonetried to open up some credit
cards and things like that.
That is a byproduct of thedigital age that we actually
(31:13):
live in.
Now, if we had stone tabletsand chisels, then it might be a
little harder, it might be alittle bit safer.
So I mean, I think that havingthe accessibility, having all
these tools, are great.
Sandy (31:28):
Yeah.
Terrance (31:28):
I think the challenge comes in where, as adults, we
don't do our due diligence tomake sure that we're as prepared
as we can be, to make sure thatthe younger generation and the
kids get the education, thetraining and the actual input
from us that they need, to makesure, as they're navigating that
(31:49):
space, that they're actuallysafe.
Sandy (31:51):
Yeah, I agree, I think we could be doing a better job
with that.
I do feel, at least, that theschools this day and age,
because I remember with Lexi andShayna they didn't really talk
about it, it was more like dare.
You know I mean it was justlike drugs and alcohol and this
and that, but I feel like atleast the schools now are
talking more about the digitalspace, like cyberbullying, the
(32:12):
predators.
So they at least do, I think,put some foundation down.
But us, as parents, we need todo a better job.
Terrance (32:22):
Yeah, I'm glad you said that last part again,
because when we were talkingabout some of the differences
between raising a boy and a girl, this is going episodes back
and we were talking about whothe onus is on.
I think too many times parentsput the responsibility on the
school, and it's great that theschool does that stuff.
Sandy (32:41):
I agree.
Terrance (32:41):
But as a parent, you need the parent.
Sandy (32:43):
Yeah, exactly.
Terrance (32:46):
So let's wrap this up here, and I got a nice little
statement that I'm going to readfor you, which is not something
I do very often.
Sandy (32:53):
But I prepared this.
I'm waiting anxiously.
Terrance (32:56):
Growing up in the digital age creates
opportunities for innovation,connectivity and challenges.
It's essential to recognize theprofound impact of technology
on our lives and the lives offuture generations.
From shaping identities tofostering activism, from
reshaping family dynamics toredefining the future of work,
the digital age offers boundlessopportunities and formidable
(33:20):
hurdles.
Yet, amidst the whirlwinds ofbites and pixels, one constant
remains the resiliency andadaptability of the human spirit
.
By fostering digital literacy,promoting online safety,
nurturing meaningful connectionsand embracing mindful
(33:40):
technology use that's importantwe can empower ourselves and the
generations to come to navigatethis brave new world with
wisdom, compassion and purpose.
So let us embark on thisjourney together, mindful of the
past, present and the infinitepossibilities of the future that
lies ahead in the digital age.
(34:01):
Thank you for joining us on theLunch with Sandy podcast.
Please be sure to follow us andleave feedback on your favorite
podcasting app, as well associal media, at Lunch with
Sandy.
Until next time, stay well.
Announcer (34:14):
That's it for this week's episode of the Lunch with
Sandy podcast.
Thanks for listening.
We'd love to hear your feedbackand comments on Instagram,
TikTok and Twitter at Lunch withSandy, and be sure to follow us
on your favorite podcast app.
If you enjoyed the show, don'tforget to rate and review us.
Thanks again for listening tothe Lunch with Sandy podcast.
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