May 4, 2024 • 21 mins
Ever found yourself thrown into the deep end of parenting duties? Well, I'm Terrance, and I've lived to tell the tale! Join me as I recount the unexpected adventure of solo parenting my teenage daughter while my wife was away. From haircare hurdles to laundry lessons and the culinary creativity of quick-fix meals, I've navigated the full gamut of household chores with a mixture of humor, desperation, and unexpected delight. Discover how a hair doll head became my unlikely ally and why peanut butter and jelly can be a gourmet meal in the eyes of a hungry teenager.
Wrapping up this heartwarming episode, I reflect on the strength of family bonds and the beauty of keeping connected—even through the simplest of acts, like making lunch. Whether you're a single parent by chance or by design, this conversation is a blend of relatable anecdotes, practical tips, and a warm invitation to share your own stories. So, come laugh, learn, and maybe shed a tear or two as we celebrate the often-overlooked joys of stepping up to the plate when it's your turn to hold down the fort.
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Episode Transcript
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Announcer (00:00):
In a relationship, when is honesty not the best
policy?
How do you balance what youwant versus what you need, and
is there something you need tosay to your spouse but can't
find the right way to say it?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
This is the Lunch with Sandypodcast.
With nearly 20 years ofmarriage under their belts,
Terrance and Sandy Jacksondiscuss a range of topics,
(00:22):
provide valuable insights onrelationships and talk about the
conversations married couplesneed to have.
Terrance and Sandy Jacksondiscuss a range of topics,
provide valuable insights onrelationships and talk about the
conversations married couplesneed to have.
So what does lunch have to dowith all of this?
Well, it's a metaphor for howthese conversations originally
started.
Speaking of conversations,let's get one going.
Terrance (00:40):
Here's your hosts, terrence and Sandy.
Welcome to the first soloepisode of the Lunch with Sandy
podcast, where I will speak ontopics and provide the wisdom
and guidance you can only getfrom having the experiences I
have had.
I'm Terrence.
(01:07):
Today I will be helping thoseof you out there who may be in
the situation that I am in todayand that is flying solo as a
parent of a teenage daughterwhile my wife is away.
But before we dive into that,please remember to follow the
Lunch With Sandy podcast on yourfavorite podcasting app.
Also, be sure to follow theshow on all social media at
Lunch With Sandy.
Now let's talk about why I amsolo today.
So I am the father of threedaughters.
(01:27):
My oldest daughter is atraveling nurse and for the past
year she's been on a contractout in California Christmas and
she says that you know she'sbeen spending a lot of money on
(01:48):
Uber while she's out there andshe believes that it'll be much
cheaper that if she just shipsher car out there and so when
her contract is up she can justdrive home.
So that time has come and mywife has decided and it's a good
idea that she fly out, meet mydaughter in the Vegas area and
then they can drive back acrosscountry.
(02:09):
So again she's in California.
We live on the East Coastbetween Massachusetts and
Connecticut, and that drivewould be much better if you had
more than one person doing it.
And at the same time they'regoing to stop, do some hiking,
see some sights and eventuallymake their way back home.
(02:31):
Now, bringing you all back towhere I am Again.
I have three daughters.
Two of them are out of thehouse, but I have a 14-year-old
who is actually at home.
I don't know if any of you havea 14-year-old, but you would
think that at that age, there'snot much that you have to do for
(02:54):
them or provide for them.
However, you'd be greatlymistaken.
They don't make 14-year-oldslike they used to, and I love my
daughter.
So I say that with a bit oftongue in cheek, but the short
of it is my wife is travelingacross the country with my
oldest daughter.
I'm home with my youngestdaughter and the dog, and the
(03:16):
question becomes how will Isurvive this time alone with a
14-year-old?
Well, let me provide you withsome insight into my strategy.
So the first thing that Ilooked at was you know me and my
(03:36):
wife.
We do a good job of splittingup what we need to do from a
day-to-day basis to make surethat my youngest daughter has
everything she needs and isprepared for whatever she needs
to be prepared for.
So, right off the bat, what Idid was I started thinking about
those areas that my wifenormally actually takes care of,
(03:58):
and then I had to think abouthow I was going to try to bridge
the gap, and of course, thattakes planning.
It's not like you can just waituntil that time comes and then
say, up now I need to startdoing all this stuff.
So as I looked at theday-to-day preparation and the
day-to-day things that weactually worked on, I knew that
(04:19):
there were pretty much threeareas that my wife took care on
a regular basis that I was goingto have to take care of for my
daughters for just about a week.
It was five days, yeah, justabout five days.
So the three most impactfulareas that were going to be
(04:42):
affected by this I guess I wouldcall it gap or this time away
from my wife were hair, laundryI guess you can classify that as
clothes and food, and I wouldactually say the priority for
(05:04):
those things actually were inthat order, and really, from the
food aspect, that's not reallythat big of a deal, because I
find myself cooking for mydaughter on many nights when she
doesn't want to have what mywife has prepared for dinner
anyway, and I've gotten to thehabit of making her lunch dinner
(05:26):
anyway and I've gotten to thehabit of making her lunch.
Part of it was in preparationfor fitting some of the extra
things that I needed to do in myactual schedule, but at the
same time, after doing it acouple of times, I realized that
that was something that Ireally enjoyed doing, and that
is making lunch for my actualdaughter.
Now let's get to the first andthe most impactful piece, or the
most impactful activity that Ihad to prepare myself for when
(05:50):
it came to taking care of mydaughter.
Right, and it's a big one, it'sthe hair.
If you're in this situation,there are some tasks that your
daughters or your kids, yoursons or whatever I'm going to
stick to daughters, becausethat's the situation that I'm in
there's some tasks that theyshould be doing on a regular
basis, such as washing theirhair, conditioning it, brushing
(06:13):
it.
Those things they should bedoing on their own and they
should be doing them prettyfrequently, and if they're not,
you're going to find yourself ina situation where it's going to
be a lot more difficult for youto actually be able to tackle
that.
So let me give you a little tipand this is something that I
learned from experience.
Before you're in this situation,or if you know you're going to
be in a situation where you gotto pick up the slack and your
(06:35):
wife is not going to be aroundand your girlfriend is not going
to be around, find out if yourchild knows what products are
used and if they can actuallylocate them, or if you actually
even have them.
And let me explain why I saythis.
I was under the impression thatmy daughter knew what my wife
(06:56):
used in her hair.
Again, she's 14.
Lo and behold, she couldn'ttell me what was used in her
actual hair.
So I had to reach out to mywife and say hey, listen,
there's this basket, there's aton of stuff in this basket.
Does all this stuff go in herhair?
There's three brushes, there'slike four combs.
(07:18):
My daughter couldn't tell meany of the information that was
necessary to actually do herhair.
Now let's get to the stylingportion.
Right, there was a point in mydaughter's life where I can slap
her hair into a ponytail,pigtails on the side or even
braid it down the middle andshe'd be good.
(07:39):
She's 14.
That stuff doesn't work anymore.
So I would suggest, if there'ssome simple hairstyles that you
know that you can pull off andyour daughter is accepting of
those hairstyles, practice,because that's going to make
your situation much easier whenit comes to getting her hair
(08:02):
done and getting her out of thehouse on time.
Again, this is going on duringthe school year, so it's not
like it's summertime where youknow she's just going to go out
and no one's really going to seeher.
She got to look presentablewhen she goes to school.
So, again, if you have somesimple hairstyles you can pull
off and your daughter doesn'tmind, cool, practice.
(08:23):
For those cases where thosesimple hairstyles will not cut
it, like my case with mydaughter, let me tell you what
you do.
Well, let me tell you what I did.
My daughter is in this phasewhere she will only have one of
three hairstyles the Frenchbraid, the Dutch braid and this
(08:45):
balloon braid, which I had neverseen before, but it looks kind
of cool.
But my skills in all of thoseareas were extremely lacking and
my daughter has long hair ThickI don't want to say thick, but
it's.
It's thicker hair, so if it'snot maintained it gets frizzy
(09:09):
and it will actually kind ofstand out.
So what I did was and what Iwould suggest is prior to my
wife leaving, I had her gothrough the preparation and what
she did to get the actualhairstyle that my daughter liked
(09:29):
.
I sat there, I watched her, shewent over it and I had in my
mind the steps that werenecessary.
What I also did was I purchasedone of those hair doll heads
from Amazon and if you don'tknow what those hair doll heads
are, they're basically stylingdolls where you can pick the
(09:52):
type of hair and they'll ship itto you and you can use that to
practice the actual hairstyle on.
Now I bought the doll head.
It's a creepy looking doll head.
I tried to practice on it alittle, but after seeing my wife
do what she did and practicingjust a little bit, I pretty much
(10:12):
knew I could actually pull offthe style by just undoing one
braid at a time and thenreplicating what was on the
other side.
So that's what I did.
It worked out pretty well.
Now let's get into the laundry.
For me, the process of doinglaundry is not new.
I've been doing my own laundryfor a very, very long time,
(10:36):
partly because when my wife usedto do it, something always
happened to my clothes.
Now, that may have beenintentional, but we're not gonna
get into that right now.
When it comes to laundry,particularly for your kids, know
where they keep their laundry.
I say that speaking fromexperience.
We have a laundry room.
(10:57):
In the laundry room there arebaskets for different types of
actual articles of clothing ortypes of laundry that need to be
done.
None of my daughter's clotheswere in the laundry room or in
any of those baskets.
So make sure you know wheretheir actual dirty clothes are
or where they keep their laundry.
(11:17):
Second tip too before you getinto the process of doing
laundry or just in general, askif they actually have clean
clothes.
Once again, I'm trying to makesure that you're prepared,
because what will happen is thisit will be the morning, it'll
(11:40):
be 20, 30 minutes before theyhave to go to school and they'll
come down and say I don't haveany clothes.
That's not leaving you any timeto actually wash those clothes.
So be prepared, ask them ifthey have to clean clothes and
know where the actual laundry is.
One other tip too If you're notthe person who normally does
(12:05):
the laundry, be sure to ask yoursignificant other what their
process is and how they actuallyseparate the clothes.
My daughter again she's 14.
She has no clue how any of thisstuff is separated.
And again, I wash my ownlaundry.
I have my process.
My wife doesn't wash mydaughter's clothes or her
clothes the same way I do.
(12:25):
My daughter would just takeeverything and just actually
lump it all together and throwit in there.
You can do that, but then youmay end up ruining her favorite
sweatshirt or whatever, and thenshe'll say that's all she has
to wear and won't want to go toschool.
So keep that in mind.
Now let's get into the meals.
You're going to have to havesomething in your arsenal that
(12:47):
you can make, so you're notordering out every day.
You can order out every day,but we're talking about being
prepared and trying to make surethat your significant other
understands that if there'ssomething that is going to take
them away from the home for awhile, you got this.
There are some real easy foodsthat you should be able to make
(13:13):
that most kids at that age aregoing to love or find acceptable
.
Number one on the list and Idon't know many kids that don't
like this, regardless of age.
Hell, I still like it, and I'mmuch older than 14.
And that's peanut butter andjelly.
If your child has a peanutbutter allergy then it's a
(13:35):
different story.
But peanut butter and jelly isa staple and it's easy to make.
You got bread, you got peanutbutter and you got a butter
knife.
Slap it together.
But keep this in mind there isa proper way to make a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich.
You spread the jelly on oneside of the bread and the peanut
butter on the other side of thebread and then you put the two
(13:57):
pieces together.
That is the proper way to makea peanut butter and jelly
sandwich.
So number one peanut butter andjelly.
Number two ramen noodles.
I don't know if you heard, butramen noodles is one of the
easiest things to make in theworld, not the healthiest, but
man do.
They taste good and if you canboil water, you can easily make
(14:22):
ramen noodles.
And I'm going to tell you howyou can step your game up.
Take some hot dogs, boil them.
After you make the ramennoodles, you cut the hot dogs up
, you put them in the ramennoodles and now you got noodles
and for those that don't know,noodles is just another term, a
shortened term for ghettonoodles.
That coin was first termed bymy man, prince Hoff.
(14:42):
Shout out to Prince makingthose noodles.
Now there are two other thingsthat you should be able to pull
off from a food perspectivewithout any issues.
The first is mac and cheese.
Mac and cheese is one of theeasiest things to make.
Again, if you can boil water,you should be able to make mac
and cheese, and now and now theyeven have mac and cheese that
(15:07):
you can make in a microwavablecup.
It's simple you pull the topoff.
There's a little line where youpour the water into Up to the
line, put it in the microwavefor three minutes.
Once it comes out, mix thestuff in, stir it up.
Important piece of informationyou gotta make sure you put
water in there.
I remember when my middledaughter was around 16, 17,.
(15:29):
She decided she was going tomake some mac and cheese in the
microwave oven.
She didn't put any water inthere.
It stunk the house up for days.
So, mac and cheese if you'regoing to go microwavable, put
the water in there up to theline.
Now, another dish and this isthe last dish I'll mention from
a food perspective that youreally should have in your
(15:52):
arsenal is rice, and there's acouple ways to make rice.
But rice is very simple to make.
If you've got a rice cooker,extremely easy.
But even if you don't have arice cooker, if you can boil
some water and you have a littleattention to detail, you can
make some rice.
And here's why rice issomething you really should have
in your arsenal.
(16:13):
You can take that rice and youcan scramble up some eggs, mix
some eggs into it Phenomenal Iknow some people might not be on
board with that, but it'sbasically a form of, you know,
fried rice taking the eggs,putting it in there, put some
vegetables on.
You can have rice withvegetables.
There's all kinds of thingsthat you can do if you can
(16:36):
actually pull off boiling ormaking some actual rice.
Now we talked about the dailyactivities and those things that
you probably, or those thingsthat I had to take into account
to prepare for my wife beingaway.
But there's something else thatyou know we have to cover.
(16:57):
You can't overlook the fact,when you're planning, that
you're going to be the solesupport for your daughter while
the other parent is away.
Remember, your daughter'ssupport system is going to be
cut in half because one of youare not going to be there, and
in this case it's my wife whowasn't there.
(17:18):
So you want to make sure thatshe's comfortable coming to you
with her questions and concerns.
Now, normally, there's going tobe some things that she would
normally go to her mom about,and there's going to be some
things that she would normallywould go to you about, would
normally go to her mom about,and there's going to be some
things that she normally wouldgo to you about.
But in this situation she's notgoing to actually have that
option.
So just make sure that you know, you make sure she feels
(17:40):
comfortable coming to you.
And here's another tip Familycan be a huge addition to your
support system.
While your significant other isaway, be sure to reach out and
ask them for any assistance,because they're going to be more
than willing to actually help.
And this is where I want togive a shout out to my
sister-in-law, danielle.
(18:01):
So, while Sandy was away, aylahad just made the track team,
and so she had track practiceafter school and I had a board
meeting that I actually had toattend to and in.
Well, there were two things.
One, when my wife flew out toVegas while she was, her flight
was scheduled to go out.
I was in DC.
My flight was scheduled to comein.
Many times, coming back from DC, my flight is always late and
(18:24):
so we wouldn't have been able topick Ayla up for um to pick
Ayla up from her practice, butDanielle stepped up, not only
for that particular day while Iwas flying back from DC, but
also I had a board meeting lateron in the week that Ayla was
going to be home for a shortperiod of time and Danielle
(18:45):
offered to be there to actuallynot only pick her up but provide
support for her.
So shout out to Danielle Againher up, but provide support for
her.
So shout out to Danielle Againtake advantage of friends and
families who are willing toactually help you out.
Now I talked about being solofor a while, and being solo can
(19:06):
be challenging when you're usedto having a partner to help you
through getting all the thingsyou need to get done completed.
But try to look at that solotime with your child as an
opportunity.
Find opportunities to bond withyour daughter when you can do
(19:26):
that, it makes for a greatexperience.
Look at it as a mini vacationor staycation with just the two
of you.
It'll do a couple of things ifyou can find ways to actually
entertain them.
One, it keeps their mind offthem possibly missing the other
parent, but, more importantly,it gives you the opportunity to
(19:47):
build lasting memories.
Opportunity to build lastingmemories.
So if it's playing a board game, going out for pizza or going
out to do something that younormally wouldn't do, just make
it so that their time isactually enjoyable and that will
have a lasting impression.
So let's wrap this up when itcomes to being a solo parent for
(20:10):
any specific period of time,there's going to be some
challenges that are going tocome while you're holding down
the fort, when whoever it is isaway, but when you have a plan
that will help you get throughit, it makes it so much easier.
Also, remember to takeadvantage of the opportunity to
bond and build memories withyour kid.
(20:30):
That will have a lasting impact, as I just stated.
And another thing you're notalone.
Reach out to friends and familyand take advantage of that
support system that you havewhen you actually need it.
Thank you for joining us on theLunch with Sandy podcast.
Please be sure to follow us andleave feedback on your favorite
(20:51):
podcasting app, as well associal media, at Lunch with
Sandy.
Announcer (20:55):
Until next time, stay well, that's it for this week's
episode of the Lunch with Sandypodcast.
Thanks for listening.
We'd love to hear your feedbackand comments on Instagram,
tiktok and Twitter at Lunch withSandy, and be sure to follow us
on your favorite podcast app.
If you enjoyed the show, don'tforget to rate and review us.
Thanks again for listening tothe Lunch with Sandy podcast.
In a relationship, when is honesty not the best
policy?
How do you balance what youwant versus what you need, and
is there something you need tosay to your spouse but can't
find the right way to say it?
If so, then you're in the rightplace.
This is the Lunch with Sandypodcast.
With nearly 20 years ofmarriage under their belts,
Terrance and Sandy Jacksondiscuss a range of topics,
(00:22):
provide valuable insights onrelationships and talk about the
conversations married couplesneed to have.
Terrance and Sandy Jacksondiscuss a range of topics,
provide valuable insights onrelationships and talk about the
conversations married couplesneed to have.
So what does lunch have to dowith all of this?
Well, it's a metaphor for howthese conversations originally
started.
Speaking of conversations,let's get one going.
Terrance (00:40):
Here's your hosts, terrence and Sandy.
Welcome to the first soloepisode of the Lunch with Sandy
podcast, where I will speak ontopics and provide the wisdom
and guidance you can only getfrom having the experiences I
have had.
I'm Terrence.
(01:07):
Today I will be helping thoseof you out there who may be in
the situation that I am in todayand that is flying solo as a
parent of a teenage daughterwhile my wife is away.
But before we dive into that,please remember to follow the
Lunch With Sandy podcast on yourfavorite podcasting app.
Also, be sure to follow theshow on all social media at
Lunch With Sandy.
Now let's talk about why I amsolo today.
So I am the father of threedaughters.
(01:27):
My oldest daughter is atraveling nurse and for the past
year she's been on a contractout in California Christmas and
she says that you know she'sbeen spending a lot of money on
(01:48):
Uber while she's out there andshe believes that it'll be much
cheaper that if she just shipsher car out there and so when
her contract is up she can justdrive home.
So that time has come and mywife has decided and it's a good
idea that she fly out, meet mydaughter in the Vegas area and
then they can drive back acrosscountry.
(02:09):
So again she's in California.
We live on the East Coastbetween Massachusetts and
Connecticut, and that drivewould be much better if you had
more than one person doing it.
And at the same time they'regoing to stop, do some hiking,
see some sights and eventuallymake their way back home.
(02:31):
Now, bringing you all back towhere I am Again.
I have three daughters.
Two of them are out of thehouse, but I have a 14-year-old
who is actually at home.
I don't know if any of you havea 14-year-old, but you would
think that at that age, there'snot much that you have to do for
(02:54):
them or provide for them.
However, you'd be greatlymistaken.
They don't make 14-year-oldslike they used to, and I love my
daughter.
So I say that with a bit oftongue in cheek, but the short
of it is my wife is travelingacross the country with my
oldest daughter.
I'm home with my youngestdaughter and the dog, and the
(03:16):
question becomes how will Isurvive this time alone with a
14-year-old?
Well, let me provide you withsome insight into my strategy.
So the first thing that Ilooked at was you know me and my
(03:36):
wife.
We do a good job of splittingup what we need to do from a
day-to-day basis to make surethat my youngest daughter has
everything she needs and isprepared for whatever she needs
to be prepared for.
So, right off the bat, what Idid was I started thinking about
those areas that my wifenormally actually takes care of,
(03:58):
and then I had to think abouthow I was going to try to bridge
the gap, and of course, thattakes planning.
It's not like you can just waituntil that time comes and then
say, up now I need to startdoing all this stuff.
So as I looked at theday-to-day preparation and the
day-to-day things that weactually worked on, I knew that
(04:19):
there were pretty much threeareas that my wife took care on
a regular basis that I was goingto have to take care of for my
daughters for just about a week.
It was five days, yeah, justabout five days.
So the three most impactfulareas that were going to be
(04:42):
affected by this I guess I wouldcall it gap or this time away
from my wife were hair, laundryI guess you can classify that as
clothes and food, and I wouldactually say the priority for
(05:04):
those things actually were inthat order, and really, from the
food aspect, that's not reallythat big of a deal, because I
find myself cooking for mydaughter on many nights when she
doesn't want to have what mywife has prepared for dinner
anyway, and I've gotten to thehabit of making her lunch dinner
(05:26):
anyway and I've gotten to thehabit of making her lunch.
Part of it was in preparationfor fitting some of the extra
things that I needed to do in myactual schedule, but at the
same time, after doing it acouple of times, I realized that
that was something that Ireally enjoyed doing, and that
is making lunch for my actualdaughter.
Now let's get to the first andthe most impactful piece, or the
most impactful activity that Ihad to prepare myself for when
(05:50):
it came to taking care of mydaughter.
Right, and it's a big one, it'sthe hair.
If you're in this situation,there are some tasks that your
daughters or your kids, yoursons or whatever I'm going to
stick to daughters, becausethat's the situation that I'm in
there's some tasks that theyshould be doing on a regular
basis, such as washing theirhair, conditioning it, brushing
(06:13):
it.
Those things they should bedoing on their own and they
should be doing them prettyfrequently, and if they're not,
you're going to find yourself ina situation where it's going to
be a lot more difficult for youto actually be able to tackle
that.
So let me give you a little tipand this is something that I
learned from experience.
Before you're in this situation,or if you know you're going to
be in a situation where you gotto pick up the slack and your
(06:35):
wife is not going to be aroundand your girlfriend is not going
to be around, find out if yourchild knows what products are
used and if they can actuallylocate them, or if you actually
even have them.
And let me explain why I saythis.
I was under the impression thatmy daughter knew what my wife
(06:56):
used in her hair.
Again, she's 14.
Lo and behold, she couldn'ttell me what was used in her
actual hair.
So I had to reach out to mywife and say hey, listen,
there's this basket, there's aton of stuff in this basket.
Does all this stuff go in herhair?
There's three brushes, there'slike four combs.
(07:18):
My daughter couldn't tell meany of the information that was
necessary to actually do herhair.
Now let's get to the stylingportion.
Right, there was a point in mydaughter's life where I can slap
her hair into a ponytail,pigtails on the side or even
braid it down the middle andshe'd be good.
(07:39):
She's 14.
That stuff doesn't work anymore.
So I would suggest, if there'ssome simple hairstyles that you
know that you can pull off andyour daughter is accepting of
those hairstyles, practice,because that's going to make
your situation much easier whenit comes to getting her hair
(08:02):
done and getting her out of thehouse on time.
Again, this is going on duringthe school year, so it's not
like it's summertime where youknow she's just going to go out
and no one's really going to seeher.
She got to look presentablewhen she goes to school.
So, again, if you have somesimple hairstyles you can pull
off and your daughter doesn'tmind, cool, practice.
(08:23):
For those cases where thosesimple hairstyles will not cut
it, like my case with mydaughter, let me tell you what
you do.
Well, let me tell you what I did.
My daughter is in this phasewhere she will only have one of
three hairstyles the Frenchbraid, the Dutch braid and this
(08:45):
balloon braid, which I had neverseen before, but it looks kind
of cool.
But my skills in all of thoseareas were extremely lacking and
my daughter has long hair ThickI don't want to say thick, but
it's.
It's thicker hair, so if it'snot maintained it gets frizzy
(09:09):
and it will actually kind ofstand out.
So what I did was and what Iwould suggest is prior to my
wife leaving, I had her gothrough the preparation and what
she did to get the actualhairstyle that my daughter liked
(09:29):
.
I sat there, I watched her, shewent over it and I had in my
mind the steps that werenecessary.
What I also did was I purchasedone of those hair doll heads
from Amazon and if you don'tknow what those hair doll heads
are, they're basically stylingdolls where you can pick the
(09:52):
type of hair and they'll ship itto you and you can use that to
practice the actual hairstyle on.
Now I bought the doll head.
It's a creepy looking doll head.
I tried to practice on it alittle, but after seeing my wife
do what she did and practicingjust a little bit, I pretty much
(10:12):
knew I could actually pull offthe style by just undoing one
braid at a time and thenreplicating what was on the
other side.
So that's what I did.
It worked out pretty well.
Now let's get into the laundry.
For me, the process of doinglaundry is not new.
I've been doing my own laundryfor a very, very long time,
(10:36):
partly because when my wife usedto do it, something always
happened to my clothes.
Now, that may have beenintentional, but we're not gonna
get into that right now.
When it comes to laundry,particularly for your kids, know
where they keep their laundry.
I say that speaking fromexperience.
We have a laundry room.
(10:57):
In the laundry room there arebaskets for different types of
actual articles of clothing ortypes of laundry that need to be
done.
None of my daughter's clotheswere in the laundry room or in
any of those baskets.
So make sure you know wheretheir actual dirty clothes are
or where they keep their laundry.
(11:17):
Second tip too before you getinto the process of doing
laundry or just in general, askif they actually have clean
clothes.
Once again, I'm trying to makesure that you're prepared,
because what will happen is thisit will be the morning, it'll
(11:40):
be 20, 30 minutes before theyhave to go to school and they'll
come down and say I don't haveany clothes.
That's not leaving you any timeto actually wash those clothes.
So be prepared, ask them ifthey have to clean clothes and
know where the actual laundry is.
One other tip too If you're notthe person who normally does
(12:05):
the laundry, be sure to ask yoursignificant other what their
process is and how they actuallyseparate the clothes.
My daughter again she's 14.
She has no clue how any of thisstuff is separated.
And again, I wash my ownlaundry.
I have my process.
My wife doesn't wash mydaughter's clothes or her
clothes the same way I do.
(12:25):
My daughter would just takeeverything and just actually
lump it all together and throwit in there.
You can do that, but then youmay end up ruining her favorite
sweatshirt or whatever, and thenshe'll say that's all she has
to wear and won't want to go toschool.
So keep that in mind.
Now let's get into the meals.
You're going to have to havesomething in your arsenal that
(12:47):
you can make, so you're notordering out every day.
You can order out every day,but we're talking about being
prepared and trying to make surethat your significant other
understands that if there'ssomething that is going to take
them away from the home for awhile, you got this.
There are some real easy foodsthat you should be able to make
(13:13):
that most kids at that age aregoing to love or find acceptable
.
Number one on the list and Idon't know many kids that don't
like this, regardless of age.
Hell, I still like it, and I'mmuch older than 14.
And that's peanut butter andjelly.
If your child has a peanutbutter allergy then it's a
(13:35):
different story.
But peanut butter and jelly isa staple and it's easy to make.
You got bread, you got peanutbutter and you got a butter
knife.
Slap it together.
But keep this in mind there isa proper way to make a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich.
You spread the jelly on oneside of the bread and the peanut
butter on the other side of thebread and then you put the two
(13:57):
pieces together.
That is the proper way to makea peanut butter and jelly
sandwich.
So number one peanut butter andjelly.
Number two ramen noodles.
I don't know if you heard, butramen noodles is one of the
easiest things to make in theworld, not the healthiest, but
man do.
They taste good and if you canboil water, you can easily make
(14:22):
ramen noodles.
And I'm going to tell you howyou can step your game up.
Take some hot dogs, boil them.
After you make the ramennoodles, you cut the hot dogs up
, you put them in the ramennoodles and now you got noodles
and for those that don't know,noodles is just another term, a
shortened term for ghettonoodles.
That coin was first termed bymy man, prince Hoff.
(14:42):
Shout out to Prince makingthose noodles.
Now there are two other thingsthat you should be able to pull
off from a food perspectivewithout any issues.
The first is mac and cheese.
Mac and cheese is one of theeasiest things to make.
Again, if you can boil water,you should be able to make mac
and cheese, and now and now theyeven have mac and cheese that
(15:07):
you can make in a microwavablecup.
It's simple you pull the topoff.
There's a little line where youpour the water into Up to the
line, put it in the microwavefor three minutes.
Once it comes out, mix thestuff in, stir it up.
Important piece of informationyou gotta make sure you put
water in there.
I remember when my middledaughter was around 16, 17,.
(15:29):
She decided she was going tomake some mac and cheese in the
microwave oven.
She didn't put any water inthere.
It stunk the house up for days.
So, mac and cheese if you'regoing to go microwavable, put
the water in there up to theline.
Now, another dish and this isthe last dish I'll mention from
a food perspective that youreally should have in your
(15:52):
arsenal is rice, and there's acouple ways to make rice.
But rice is very simple to make.
If you've got a rice cooker,extremely easy.
But even if you don't have arice cooker, if you can boil
some water and you have a littleattention to detail, you can
make some rice.
And here's why rice issomething you really should have
in your arsenal.
(16:13):
You can take that rice and youcan scramble up some eggs, mix
some eggs into it Phenomenal Iknow some people might not be on
board with that, but it'sbasically a form of, you know,
fried rice taking the eggs,putting it in there, put some
vegetables on.
You can have rice withvegetables.
There's all kinds of thingsthat you can do if you can
(16:36):
actually pull off boiling ormaking some actual rice.
Now we talked about the dailyactivities and those things that
you probably, or those thingsthat I had to take into account
to prepare for my wife beingaway.
But there's something else thatyou know we have to cover.
(16:57):
You can't overlook the fact,when you're planning, that
you're going to be the solesupport for your daughter while
the other parent is away.
Remember, your daughter'ssupport system is going to be
cut in half because one of youare not going to be there, and
in this case it's my wife whowasn't there.
(17:18):
So you want to make sure thatshe's comfortable coming to you
with her questions and concerns.
Now, normally, there's going tobe some things that she would
normally go to her mom about,and there's going to be some
things that she would normallywould go to you about, would
normally go to her mom about,and there's going to be some
things that she normally wouldgo to you about.
But in this situation she's notgoing to actually have that
option.
So just make sure that you know, you make sure she feels
(17:40):
comfortable coming to you.
And here's another tip Familycan be a huge addition to your
support system.
While your significant other isaway, be sure to reach out and
ask them for any assistance,because they're going to be more
than willing to actually help.
And this is where I want togive a shout out to my
sister-in-law, danielle.
(18:01):
So, while Sandy was away, aylahad just made the track team,
and so she had track practiceafter school and I had a board
meeting that I actually had toattend to and in.
Well, there were two things.
One, when my wife flew out toVegas while she was, her flight
was scheduled to go out.
I was in DC.
My flight was scheduled to comein.
Many times, coming back from DC, my flight is always late and
(18:24):
so we wouldn't have been able topick Ayla up for um to pick
Ayla up from her practice, butDanielle stepped up, not only
for that particular day while Iwas flying back from DC, but
also I had a board meeting lateron in the week that Ayla was
going to be home for a shortperiod of time and Danielle
(18:45):
offered to be there to actuallynot only pick her up but provide
support for her.
So shout out to Danielle Againher up, but provide support for
her.
So shout out to Danielle Againtake advantage of friends and
families who are willing toactually help you out.
Now I talked about being solofor a while, and being solo can
(19:06):
be challenging when you're usedto having a partner to help you
through getting all the thingsyou need to get done completed.
But try to look at that solotime with your child as an
opportunity.
Find opportunities to bond withyour daughter when you can do
(19:26):
that, it makes for a greatexperience.
Look at it as a mini vacationor staycation with just the two
of you.
It'll do a couple of things ifyou can find ways to actually
entertain them.
One, it keeps their mind offthem possibly missing the other
parent, but, more importantly,it gives you the opportunity to
(19:47):
build lasting memories.
Opportunity to build lastingmemories.
So if it's playing a board game, going out for pizza or going
out to do something that younormally wouldn't do, just make
it so that their time isactually enjoyable and that will
have a lasting impression.
So let's wrap this up when itcomes to being a solo parent for
(20:10):
any specific period of time,there's going to be some
challenges that are going tocome while you're holding down
the fort, when whoever it is isaway, but when you have a plan
that will help you get throughit, it makes it so much easier.
Also, remember to takeadvantage of the opportunity to
bond and build memories withyour kid.
(20:30):
That will have a lasting impact, as I just stated.
And another thing you're notalone.
Reach out to friends and familyand take advantage of that
support system that you havewhen you actually need it.
Thank you for joining us on theLunch with Sandy podcast.
Please be sure to follow us andleave feedback on your favorite
(20:51):
podcasting app, as well associal media, at Lunch with
Sandy.
Announcer (20:55):
Until next time, stay well, that's it for this week's
episode of the Lunch with Sandypodcast.
Thanks for listening.
We'd love to hear your feedbackand comments on Instagram,
tiktok and Twitter at Lunch withSandy, and be sure to follow us
on your favorite podcast app.
If you enjoyed the show, don'tforget to rate and review us.
Thanks again for listening tothe Lunch with Sandy podcast.
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