March 1, 2024 • 62 mins
Imagine the sheer contrast of emotions as what was supposed to be a celebration of music and unity turned into a battlefield. Our guest, Millet, a brave survivor of the Nova Music Festival tragedy, shares her bone-chilling account of the day when joy was eclipsed by terror as rockets tore through the sky. Witness through her eyes the fragility of peace and the courage it takes to hold onto hope amidst chaos. Her voice is a vessel of truth, revealing the reality of a celebration that morphed into a harrowing fight for survival.
As we sit with the weight of Millet's testimony, we venture further into the darkness of human experience, recounting a nightmarish terrorist siege that tested the limits of instinct and endurance. You'll hear an intense narrative that traces the steps of those who, dressed in the familiarity of IDF uniforms, sowed dread among the unsuspecting. We grapple with the visceral fight-or-flight responses honed from years of military training, and the instinctive drive to protect life in the face of relentless danger. This episode confronts the horrific use of sexual violence as a weapon, shedding light on the stark reality of atrocities that survivors are forced to navigate.
Finally, our conversation turns to the aftermath, the long road tread by those scarred by violence as they seek to piece together their shattered lives. The journey of healing is as diverse as the individuals who walk it—each step marked by pain, resilience, and an unyielding quest for normalcy. Millet's decision to not let her story be silenced, to stand against the rising tide of antisemitism, and to turn her private nightmare into a catalyst for change is both humbling and empowering. Her voice joins a chorus of survivors who, despite the darkness they've faced, shine a light on the strength of the human spirit to overcome and advocate for a world where such tragedies are no more.
Your hosts: @lynnhazan_ and @tonydoesknow
follow us on social @ltkpod!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yeah, I don't know how to start this one.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's going to be a bit of a different episode for
us.
A little bit.
I mean, we have been talkingevery couple episodes about
what's going on post-October 7th, and so that's where we are
again with this particularepisode, because we were offered
(00:30):
the chance to speak withsomeone who was at the Nova
Music Festival.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I want to give a little bit of background.
So to people who might?
You know?
I'm sure most people by nowhave heard what happened on
October 7th.
I hope so.
Who knows anymore?
Honestly, for us, you know, whenwe as an Israeli Jewish woman
living in America and my familyliving in Israel, october 7th
(00:57):
changed our lives forever and Iremember the day like it was
yesterday and it still carrieswith me every single day.
And one of the big parts ofwhat happened was the Nova
Festival.
Because, you know, we were allkind of young in our 20s.
We went to parties, we went toraves and my niece is 25 years
(01:23):
old and she loves to go toparties and when I heard about
the Nova Festival I thoughtright away that she was there.
And you know, I think,thankfully she wasn't and she,
unfortunately she lost, you know, two friends at the festival.
But to just to think about theenergy of it's like, it's kind
(01:43):
of like a burning man.
You know, it's the energy ofyoung people listening to music
and dancing and being togetherand just love and you're in
nature and it's just thisbeautiful experience.
And then this horrible,horrible thing happens and the
world is silent.
You know, the music world issilent and it's just the most
(02:09):
horrible thing to even thinkabout.
And today we have a specialguest and I'm really thankful to
have her today.
Just through friends I heardshe was coming to the United
States to speak about herexperience.
She is a Nova survivor andshe's going from city to city
(02:30):
telling her story, raisingawareness, and I'm really
thankful to have her.
I'm sure it's very hard to talkabout this.
So, milette, welcome, welcome.
Thank you for joining us.
So do you want to just likestart and just tell us your
(02:51):
story and what happened?
Tell us a little bit about youknow, nova Festival for you.
Like was it your first time?
Have you been before?
Like what is it?
Is it like a big festivalthat's known in Israel like
every year?
Or just tell us a little bitmore about that.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Sure.
So this specific festival, thatwas like the first time it
happened actually.
So it's a collaboration with afestival Actually, the name of
the festival is UniversalParallel, which is nobody knows
it and the Nova is a productionof those kind of events,
(03:31):
festivals and parties, trance,music and they are very known in
Israel.
They do a lot of differentthings.
So that was specifically, thatwas like the first time of that
festival, yeah and but we doknow the Nova production so we
knew that this will be a very, avery good and something we
(03:55):
really.
I bought my ticket, I think, inJune.
We were excited about it, wewere, we looked for that event
specifically and definitely youknow a lot of the people, even
if you don't really know them.
You kind of see the same facesin those events over and over,
(04:18):
and maybe the most importantthing to say is that we are more
of a community, it's more likea family and it's something that
is so special to us.
You know, we go to those eventsto celebrate life and to just
be yourself, to feel completelyfree, judge free, and it's just
this amazing atmosphere of love.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And so tell us a little bit about you know, did
you go the night before or likea few nights?
When did it start?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So it started on Friday.
I arrived around 2 am and itwas supposed to go on until the
afternoon of Saturday.
I came with four other friendsand of course, you are joining
more friends at the party andalso, I must say, you get to
(05:16):
know many, many people at everyevent, because this is the,
these are the vibes.
Like you just waiting for thebathroom or you go to dance with
strangers, and it's a part ofit.
You know that everyone will bethe nicest and most kind people
(05:40):
you're going to meet.
You know that everybody wantsto just make everybody else feel
good about themselves, so it'slike that.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
So I suppose, like you got there at 2 am and then
things went sideways four hoursafter that, yeah, we had.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
We had a few hours of a very good festival.
Actually it was really reallygood and special and then at
6.30 the music stopped.
This is how we learned thatwe're actually under attack.
We noticed as long as the musickept going you don't really you
(06:24):
can't hear the, the rockets andonly when the DJs decided like
they noticed the situation andso they stopped the music and we
noticed this massive rise ofrockets and of course, it's it's
hard to even describe.
It's one second you're dancingand it's all you know.
(06:47):
Everything is is pure andperfect in the world, and then
the next second you findyourself under attack and it's
in an open field, so you don'thave any shelters and, of course
, mentally you're not prepared,Like your heart is so open.
This is such a vulnerablemoment for this to happen, Like
(07:09):
there are no good places to bewhen you are under attack, but I
think still, like that beingsaid, this is one of the worst
situations that you canexperience this at.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
And what was going through your head when the music
stopped, because I saw, youknow different people's versions
.
You know, in Israel people areused to, unfortunately, rockets
that happen, and it's like, okay, now we got to go to a shelter
and it's just sort of part oflife.
And some people were like, okay, you know, not panicking yet
what was going through like whatwas your experience?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
My first thought was that something went wrong with
the electricity or with thespeakers or something.
I didn't think that, like whowould think that?
But when I noticed it becauseit's impossible not to notice
the rockets I thought that okay,like yeah, we're gonna have to
(08:05):
wait for a few minutes and thenhopefully resume the party.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
And if not, then like okay, that's a bummer which I
want to note is a crazy thingLike that people don't think
about Living in Israel.
Is that having moments of likerockets and sirens is like a
normal thing and the fact thatthere's a moment of I'm at this
party, okay, it's gonna go backto, it's gonna.
(08:30):
The music is gonna turn back on.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Because in this case, the rockets that you heard and
saw were not coming at thefestival at this point.
They're just nearby, becausethe festival is actually very
close to the border right.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah, well, it's not even like they.
We didn't get any rocketfalling down because we have the
Armdom, and afterwards we didhave some falling down, but I
think it's not even you knowthat you might get rockets in
(09:10):
your like field, like near you,and it's just.
I think you grow with thismentality of you, can't let fear
run your life.
And if I'm gonna not live mylife because I'm afraid people
keep asking like why did you gothere?
Or how, how can someone plan aparty that close to the border?
(09:34):
And for me it's this is myfourth terror attack like that I
experienced in my life mespecifically and I had one in
Tel Aviv one night going out andI had one in Jerusalem.
And it's like you can't reallyescape it when you have terror
organization besides you, whenyou have so many people that
(09:58):
their sole purpose in life is toharm you.
That's that.
What are we supposed to do?
To just stay in our houses andcry?
This is not the Israelimentality.
We just keep pushing throughand we know, we are aware of
that, but we're deciding not tolet terror win.
So I don't think it's a matterof not understanding how
(10:21):
dangerous it is or that, or evenit's not thinking that it might
not be dangerous.
We are well aware.
But at the same time, yeah,kind of getting used to it and
thinking, okay, like when, whenyou are in a situation that
you're most likely to be okay,you don't let it affect you, or
(10:41):
at least you try.
So, yeah, it wasn't panickingLike a lot of people did panic.
A lot of people also.
Yeah, didn't.
And, and more than anything,you just try to calculate the
risks and understand what wouldbe best to do after a few
minutes, because the rocketsjust kept getting worse and
(11:02):
worse.
Of course we we understood thisis not a regular.
I'm saying nothing, nothingabout this is regular, but we
understood it's more severe thanthan the usual rockets we're
receiving.
So we know we have to evacuateand try to find shelter
somewhere.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
So what happened next ?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Um, so what happened next was we try to escape.
We are 3,500 people at thatmusic festival and there is only
this one narrow, bumpy kind ofa road to get us out of there.
So you can imagine how thatwould look like, and we're
(11:46):
trying.
For me, the most amazing thingabout this is that we're all
trying to escape, but we're alsotrying to do this as a
community.
Um, like, no one cuts lines.
It's really incredible towitness and we're trying to
leave, but at this point we arestill thinking it's only rockets
(12:08):
.
So we're trying to to go.
I was.
I managed to get us to the roadoutside of the party zone and
I'm making a right turn, butafter a minute of driving I have
to stop because what happenedwas that the terrorists waited
us there and they're justshooting all the cards, and so
(12:28):
I'm making a very quick U-turn.
I'm trying to get to the otherside.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
So you drove and then you realize that there's
terrorists and you had to make adecision like a quick decision.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah, you have to do it very quickly or else you will
be better Like it's seconds.
Everything happened reallyquickly.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
So that was the first moment that you realized that
there were terrorists on theground.
It wasn't just rockets, it waswhen you got to the actual.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yeah, and so we tried to go to the other direction
and I drove for something liketwo minutes, but then I had to
stop again.
We had this like a lot of carsahead of us that are just
stopping.
The reason they stopped was theterrorists waited on both ends
and they're kind of like closingonto us.
So the first cars since theywere shot couldn't.
(13:22):
The people inside were nolonger with us, and so we had
this like traffic jam of hideoussituation, and at that point we
can hear the shooting.
We don't see them, but we knewthat these are terrorists.
This is something that I don'tknow if people not from Israel
(13:43):
will know, but when you hear theshooting, you can hear that the
weapons are on automatic modeand the IDF does not use that,
because we value life.
You don't just go and spraypeople.
So when we heard that, we knewthat these are only terrorists
and we kept waiting to hear asingle gunshot, but we didn't,
(14:06):
and the shooting kept gettingcloser and closer.
So we knew we have to make adecision.
We don't have any way to gowith our cars because both sides
are now you know, I don't evenknow what the word will be, but
we're like trapped on this road,and so we decided there's a lot
(14:26):
of cars, we're all stepping outof the cars, kind of confused,
and we decided we're going toditch the cars and run towards
the fields.
And it's honestly, it's justlike a terrible situation
because everywhere you go to youhave more people screaming,
shouting that they're terrorists.
(14:47):
And we found ourselves in thissadistic game, kind of just like
going back and forth in betweenthe terrorists in a very large,
open field.
You don't even have any placeto hide, the ground is very
bumpy.
It's not suitable, you know,obviously, like it's not meant
for people to escape.
And at a certain point we sawthis group of soldiers.
(15:10):
So we thought that's good,we'll run towards them.
But as we're trying to do that,we noticed they're carrying
RPGs, which is something inbetween a gun and a missile, and
again, something that you willnever see an IDF soldier
carrying, because it's onlymeant to be used against, like
if you're targeting a gun, ifyou're targeting a house or a
tank, but you don't just goaround and aim that towards
(15:32):
people.
So we knew that we're actuallyrunning towards terrorists and
we discovered later that whathappened was that they, after
killing soldiers, they wouldtake off their uniforms and put
it on so that they will confuseus.
Wow.
But now they're like 100 or 150yards away from us and we have
(15:56):
to run, obviously to the otherdirection to escape them and
we're kind of running towardsbullets from the other direction
.
You don't have any way.
It's just a very insane, scarykind of moment that is.
For me, it's even hard toremember exactly what happened.
(16:17):
You know, you start to seepeople falling down and it's
just very traumatic for me toeven remember what happened
there.
But I think what kept me going,I kept telling myself that
there is no use in being scaredand like this is the situation.
(16:41):
It's terrible, but I don't haveany control over that and the
only thing that I do havecontrol over is myself.
So, as scary as it is andreally everything is horrific
and of course, your body justkind of wants to shut down
because you don't want towitness this and the pulse rate
(17:04):
is like so high.
But I thought, okay, I'mprobably going to die soon, but
I'm not going to help them.
There's nothing else for me todo but just keep running and
hope that I will be okay somehow.
So I just I kept going and Itried to find a place to hide
(17:29):
and we just kept going for avery long time until we found
this.
We found a tree that we werelike a group of 10 people
staying under, and that wasmaybe the I don't know how to
(17:52):
describe it like the scariestmoment, even though it was much
scarier to run from the terracebecause I noticed that I'm slow
in comparison to others and Ijust like I try to run faster
but I can't and like it'sterrifying.
But when we stood under thistree, I had a group of people
with me and this one guy told me, told us, but like he looks at
(18:16):
me and he says that we're movingtargets, and for me that was a
very hard moment because I thinkthat was the first moment I
stopped for a second to realizethe situation.
And when he said that, it wasthe moment that I really knew
that we're trapped and that'sthat like there's no way out,
it's not, it's not going to beover soon, and so we decided we
(18:40):
have to split because they'llsee us.
We're 10 people, that's toomuch, and we just ran low
Everybody's just going differentdirections and eventually I
found I had the.
I told them I came with fourpeople.
So the two guys, they keptgoing.
(19:01):
They just ran, tried to likedodge bullets and eventually,
after four hours of running,they got to this village nearby
and they found shelter there.
And me and the two girls, wefound this bush and we decided
we'll crawl under.
We had another girl, she joinedus at that point we don't, we
(19:23):
didn't know her at the time, butof course now we know her.
But we were just, you know,laying down there.
We tried to cover ourselveswith leaves and herbs we found
there.
It's.
It's not much.
There's not much of plantsaround you and you just try to
(19:43):
stay silent as possible becausethey're surrounding you.
The shooting keeps going, therocket keeps keeps going.
You hear the screaming inArabic.
It's all very frightening, andwe tried to call the police at
that point but they didn'tanswer.
And you know they they answered, I think like half an hour
(20:04):
after laying down there, whichwas already 9.30, because the
part where we ran that was twohours of running.
And when they they didn'tanswer, they just told us that
they're sorry but like they,they don't have anyone to send
to us because all the villagesaround are being taken over by
terrorists and so they'rebasically they're saying like,
(20:28):
hang in there, good luck.
And you know, I know now likeit's, I'm not even mad at them.
They really try to do whateverthey could.
You know it's it was this kindof impossible situation to to
manage.
Who thought that we'll have3,000 terrorists in Israel?
(20:50):
Yeah, but I, I knew I have toreach out to get help.
I didn't want to talk to myfamily before because I didn't
want to concern them, but I knewI have to and so I send, I told
them a little bit about thesituation and and shared our
(21:13):
location and and you know it's,you have to save battery.
Of course you just want to talkto everyone you love, because
now I'm saying everything fromthe perspective of I know how it
turned out, but at the momentyou think that you're going to
(21:36):
die every minute.
Now you don't know if it's goingto be your last minute.
I thought what I can say in asentence that will be good as my
last words, because I have tosave battery and I have to have
those last words to my family.
I told them that I really lovethem and that I'm happy with the
(22:01):
life I had.
I think what went through mymind was that I'm truly okay
with dying and I'm truly blessedand I felt very fortunate for
the life I had and everythingthat I have accomplished so far.
But to think about my familyand what they're going to go
(22:24):
through that was devastating forme.
I tried to find something thatwill comfort them going through
this unthinkable thing of losingme.
So, yeah, this is what made mewrite what I wrote.
(22:44):
And yeah, do you want me tokeep going?
Yes, please keep going.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I have a question.
In the beginning you'rescanning and you're hearing the
gunshots and you see the RPG andyou have all of this knowledge
of what you're listening to andbeing able to identify it in
real time Like this is off.
This is certainly not IDF and Iknow this because of XYZ.
Did you serve in the IDF?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Yeah, like most of the Israelis, I also served in
the IDF.
I wasn't in a combat unit, butI did have the basic training
and I think just being Israeli,even if you're not a warrior
yourself, like all of mysiblings, like my brothers, are
(23:40):
all your friends.
It's something that you know inIsrael, I think.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
It's something that, when I think about all of the
people that were there, I can'thelp but think of how many lives
that that sort of understandingprobably saved across the board
because, like you said,everyone there would have sort
of those same instincts.
Now, whether or not in themoment you can act on them is
different for sure, but to havethat awareness probably saved
(24:07):
like a lot of people's lives,including yours just to be able
to identify what's off aboutthat situation so quickly.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, for sure it's very important and also kind of
sad that we have to know thosekind of things in Israel.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, and at one point you said you were
listening for a single gunshot.
What was important about that?
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Because that would mean that there is someone from
the IDF or from the police,because they will use that.
So, like the automatic shootingwe waited for them to have,
like a reaction from our forces,that we didn't hear that until
(25:00):
the first time we heard a singlegunshot was maybe 10 am.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
So we're talking three and a half four hours in
before there's a response?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, although I know for a fact that we had forces
reacting before, but just notclose enough to where we were.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Because it was really .
They made it impossible forpeople to approach.
They waited on every crossroadwith tons of terrorists just
shooting whoever is trying tocome near.
So every force that did try toget to us were immediately
(25:41):
murder.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
So the first people that made it to the exits were
the first people to die.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Yeah, yeah, sadly, yeah.
It was insane to understand nowhow every single decision we've
made was so crucial.
If I would have left threehours before, I might not be
here.
Three like it's the people thatactually were able to leave
(26:17):
before us.
Most of them didn't make it,and people who left after us,
same like the people who stayedin the party zone.
Barely of them survived, andthis is also very sad, because a
lot of people couldn't leave,not because they just decided
not to go, but, same way, wewere hitting traffic.
(26:39):
I call it hitting traffic,which is not it's not the right
way to describe it but we gotstuck on a part that was already
helping us to get a bit furtherso that we could actually
escape the actual zone of theparty.
Others did not have theopportunity because they got
(27:00):
stuck, I don't know, like a milecloser to the party.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
How big is this, this total area of surface from like
one entrance to the other?
You said you were.
You were on the run for twohours going back and forth,
attempting to just avoid anygunfire.
Like how far are you travelingin between these two points?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So I know now that the place I was hiding at was
like maybe two miles away fromthe party, but I ran for longer
distance but just didn't reallymanage to get ahead, because you
just go back and forth, youkind of like you don't really,
you don't have the ability toactually go so far.
(27:46):
But yeah, we just try to to gethelp from someone to to come
and rescue us, and it's very,it's very difficult because,
well, no one is coming andyou're just lying there for
(28:08):
hours and they shouldn't keptgetting closer and closer.
So it's, it's like a scene froma, from a horror movie, like
it's.
I can't describe how it feels.
Like it's.
It's terrible, you'refrightened and it's.
(28:28):
We got to the point where we canhear them walking and talking.
Like the beginning.
It's just like screaming andshooting, which is terrible as
well, and of course, theshooting is it's not just
shooting in the background.
You can hear the whistle of thebullets above you.
So you know it's, it's close.
But when we actually heard themtalking, that was you know, you
(28:52):
try not to even breathe and weheard them laughing, which is I
don't know the fact that someonecan be so brutal and cruel and
laugh at the same time, it's itterrifies you.
(29:14):
It's terrible to know thatpeople can can be like that, the
human beings can act like that.
And they found this Israeli guythat was hiding near us.
We just heard, heard this likeshout.
He screamed that like theyfound me hill, and then a lot of
shooting.
(29:34):
And then we saw a couple ofthem and for me it was very
clear that if they will see us,they will rape us.
So I, just at that point, Istarted praying that a rocket
will hit me.
I wanted, I just wanted to dielike I wanted.
(29:55):
I thought, ok, I wish that arocket will hit me and if not,
then I wish that they will sprayus before they'll do whatever
they're going to do to us.
So, why did you?
have that thought of them rapingus I think, again, being
(30:16):
Israeli, usually in the previousterror attacks that we had that
were getting women, they rapedthe women before murdering them.
It's not something new.
It never happened on a scalelike we had now, but but
(30:40):
definitely something that wealready are.
Again terrible to say, but wewere used to or we're aware of
it, and you know I, I hatedmyself that moment because it
felt like we're dressed up forthem.
You know, we had the outfits ofthe of the festival and you go
(31:05):
with those outfits only becauseyou feel so safe in those
specific events.
I wouldn't go, you know, justlike that, in the streets, like
it's not.
It's not something that I wouldwear to any other occasion, and
of course it's not.
It's not like if I would havewore something differently then
(31:27):
they wouldn't do this, but justthe fact that, on top of this,
we are dressed up like that.
That was even more terrible forme, and knowing now that they
did this to so many other girlsand actually not just girl, but
mostly it's it's still thehardest part of that day.
(31:48):
And also, this is somethingthat it's important for me to
say, as hard as it is, but wehave to speak up, because they
are still doing it to thehostages and I?
I don't know how the worlddoesn't.
It's very hard for me to knowthat people are staying silent
(32:12):
while this atrocity is happening, but with with us, we had this
I don't know how to call it amiracle lock, whatever but they
just didn't notice us.
They kept going.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
How close were they?
Like you said, you heard themjust talking like how close and
you saw them.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Yeah, I will say like 30 feet, maybe 40, like I don't
know exactly like they're.
Yeah, something like that.
If they would have rotate theirhead like just a little bit,
they will notice us, like theywould have seen us.
It was very just like they forsome reason did not.
(32:53):
They just kept going to.
We were hiding.
So we had this like kind of abush that was hiding that the
back in the back.
If you go behind it you can seeus, but if you go from the
other side, like if you are inthis side of the bush, you can
definitely see us.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
And they kept going like they came, like this so
right in front of the bush thewhole time.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, and if they would just like look a bit to
like around to the side orturning around, they would see
us, but luckily they just didn't.
But of course it's like the themost horrifying situation to be
.
It's like you try the best notto breathe, not to move, all you
want to do is cry, but youobviously can't.
(33:36):
It's like you feel like allyour body is filled with poison,
sort of, and Obviously you wantto faint.
It's like it's so scary, it's I.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Mean, even just hearing it, it's like even, and
I can't imagine experiencing itit's like it's too much.
Yeah like at what point didthey find?
Like where you rescued, like Ihad it.
What happened that next um?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Well, we, luckily, throughout this day, I had Great
source of power, because I havemy siblings, and just thinking
about them and Knowing that Ihave to be the sister they
(34:33):
deserve was what kept me going.
And I had my, my youngestbrother, tech.
He texted me that he trusts meover a hundred percent, which is
a very sweet thing to say Underthose circumstances, like
obviously he's at home and liketerrified and trying to get me
(34:56):
some help.
But it was very, it was veryimportant for me and I think
it's it's one of the thing thatI, every time I'm sharing my
story, I I Tell about thismessage because it's so
important that we acknowledgethe power of love and and words,
(35:16):
and just you know how, how muchit's Important just to tell the
people that we love them, thatwe actually like, we trust them,
we love them, we believe inthem, because it's it's it what
kept me going and, and so I justtry not to lose hope, even
though I was very certain I'mgonna die.
(35:37):
But I kept trying for them andI posted on Instagram the
situation as well and we're justtrying to.
You know, we had this kind of anetwork of all the friends and
family and and People that wedon't even know trying to to
help us, and eventually we wereUm connected to Rami David Deann
(36:00):
Did you hear that name?
so he did he probably it's it's.
It's important that everybodywill know his name, because he
is a hero that decidedvoluntarily to go in and To
rescue people.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
He came in his car.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Yeah, he, he went back and forth for three days
trying to rescue people.
He ended up saving over 700.
Wow, in the party, which is soheroic.
It's it's unbelievable.
He, he's true, true hero.
And and he tried to find us andAfter Very long time he
(36:45):
couldn't find us.
Then I asked him to send us hislocation.
Instead I'm trying to kind ofnavigate, like through, through,
like using I'm using the Sunand the hour and I'm trying to
give him directions because it'sthe service was not good, so we
didn't have the full map, wedidn't really know where we are.
But I'm trying to give himdirections and and as I do that,
(37:11):
actually I noticed that I have3% left of butter in my phone.
It was already maybe like 1 30pm.
This, this situation kept goingfor so long, and so I just told
them that I'm gonna try to savethat battery, I'm gonna turn off
my phone and I'm asking for himto.
(37:33):
To not give up on us is ouronly hope now.
And he was Incredible.
He said he's gonna honk thehorn of his car until he finds
us.
So that way we know like wewill hear him if he's close, and
I turn off my phone and we'rejust laying down there, you know
, holding hands, praying like Idon't know.
(37:53):
We know that this is our lastchance.
We're also very tired anddehydrated and we actually we
had a lot of Fire antsunderneath us, like the whole
situation is hideous.
We have the sun in our eyes.
It's like I Feel like, even ifthe tourists will not find us, I
(38:17):
don't know for how long we cankeep going, you know, just
surviving under those extremeconditions.
And Then around, like half anhour later, we suddenly her her
at a car.
So I'm trying to turn on myphone again and and and I'm
(38:40):
trying.
We're kind of like playing, youknow, hard and cold, trying to
see if we can understand wherehe is.
And I, I realize I have to getout of the hiding place too in
order to find him, and of course, we still have the shooting
going on.
So it's very, very scary tocrawl outside.
But we knew this is our bestchance.
(39:04):
You don't have a choice.
It's like you got to be brave.
So I started to crawl outsideand I'm looking for a car and I
noticed one car that went byreally fast and I thought it's
not gonna like he's gonna driveslow, but in the last second I
noticed there is a sticker thatsays something in Hebrew on that
(39:27):
car.
So I raised my body for liketwo seconds and and Actually
they notice, they notice me andcame back and in that car was
Leon Val, which is another hero.
They voluntarily decide to goin and rescue people.
He, he also.
He did this for two days.
(39:47):
He went back and forth rescuingtons of people Until, sadly, he
, he was murdered by terrorists.
So it's very important for meto Honor his memory and and and
share his heroic story.
But as for that point, we justI like the second I got into his
(40:08):
car.
My phone died.
It was insane.
The other girls came to the car.
We saw a lot of other peoplefrom the party.
We were kind of like sitting ontop of each other in the car.
We also asked him to look forthe guy that we heard before,
but he couldn't find his car.
But he couldn't find him.
So we can only assume theykidnapped the body or something.
(40:28):
But then he turns for us toRami's car, because of course
you got to stay low, you can'tbe.
The fact that we were sitting ontop of each other was Dangerous
when you have all the shootinggoing on.
He tried to escape this fieldnow.
So it was good because Rami wasreally close.
We moved to his car and thenthey had us.
(40:51):
They brought us to a villagenearby called Pateesh, and
Actually our friends from beforethey ran to that specific
village so we were reunited withthem.
That was, that was good.
And they just put us in thislarge shelter with a lot of
other survivors, people from theparty kept kept coming.
(41:12):
You know a lot of them areinjured.
We're all very shocked and kindof.
It kind of feels like you seetons of ghosts, but at least we
had water and we were morepeople together.
We felt I can't say we feltsafe, but we felt safer and In
(41:33):
the evening the idea was able toescort us finally to to bear
Shiva, see it in your body andour families could come and pick
us up from there.
So that was.
We arrived there at 7 pm,something like that.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
So, yeah, go ahead.
So you did, you saw, you got tosee your family like 12 hours
after the, after the initialAttack.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Yeah, it's like it's 12 and a half hours of this
Nightmare.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Wow, how did it feel seeing them again.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
I Think I had this like moment to replay, like I
replay this moment in my brainthroughout all this day and I
kept thinking about this momentof hugging them and Every time I
thought about it I thought I'mnot gonna make it like I thought
(42:30):
it would make me cry, like I, Ithought about it, I will start
crying and then I will stop.
I try to think about somethingdifferent, because I can't cry.
So it was very, it was veryMoving, like it was very I don't
know.
You have all the emotions.
It's kind of like you can'tbelieve that you're finally with
(42:50):
them, like all you want to dois hug them.
Of course, we all cried, likeit's.
It's a.
It's a crazy moment toexperience and I think I I had
like the adrenaline Going for afew more hours before I started
to.
Really it's hard to to graspwhat you went through.
(43:14):
It's hard to understand what weexperienced.
So the beginning was more acombination of feeling happy and
, I don't know, anxious.
As the time went by, it's moreI was very you kind of like cry
(43:41):
without control, a lot of panicattacks.
I was very confused.
I wasn't sure, like I keptthinking that I'm still there.
I was very confused.
I was also very much afraidthat I'm going to lose my sanity
, because it feels like it.
(44:02):
Definitely you feel like you'relosing your mind.
How long did that?
And?
of course you know sorry.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
How long did that feel like that?
Speaker 3 (44:13):
Well in a way it still does Because it's
different, but I know now thatthis is something that I'm going
to have to live with.
Of course, I'm diagnosed withsevere PTSD and depression and
anxiety, and this is my new life.
I have to live with that.
(44:34):
I still haven't been able tofall asleep.
I sleep like an hour a nightand I'm not really able to eat
as I used to.
I set my alarms every few hoursso I can eat a few bites of
something Because I want to beokay.
(44:58):
But I think my body is stillkind of nervous that if I will
eat something that is too heavy,I'm not going to be able to
escape, in case I will have to.
So I'm kind of like still inthis alarmed mode.
But the very crazy beginningthat was, I think, a week we
also had, like you are very muchafraid of your entire country
(45:20):
and we kept hearing about moreand more.
We had a lot of people missingand you keep hearing about more
and more people you know thatare now gone and it's just very
chaotic.
And to attend funerals of youngpeople, it's the most
(45:44):
devastating thing.
It's your heart just breaksover and over throughout this
week and in the end of thatfirst week.
I think that what happened tome is just like my heart decided
to shut down, and so the firstweek was very chaotic and a lot
of crying, and after that it'skind of, in a way, it's like the
(46:05):
opposite, but it's still notnormal.
It's being numb and kind of youtry to protect yourself.
And I felt like I still feelthat, Like I lost my emotional
memory, Like I can't, I don'thave the ability to really feel
(46:26):
anything, and I also thinkingback or just seeing people that
I know that I'm, I know that Ilove them, but I don't, I don't
feel that.
I can't feel that.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
So are you working with, like a therapist or any
professionals to help you workthrough the trauma?
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Yeah, I have.
I have several differenttherapists.
I think what we areexperiencing the most is that no
one knows what to do with us,because we never experienced
something like that.
And though a lot of people aretrying and I'm not saying that
(47:09):
it's not helping at all, ofcourse it has, I don't know,
somewhat of positive effect, butit's it's going to take long
time for us to recover for forthe therapist to understand how
exactly they can approach us.
We're all learning as we'regoing.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
So I'm curious.
You know, we're only four and ahalf months removed from that
time and now you're over heretelling your story.
Like what was that decision?
Like what, what went into?
Like I want to do this, how didyou, how did you get to that
decision?
(47:54):
And come over here.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
So for me, it was very clear that it's it's.
Maybe it will sound weird, butit was very clear to me that the
world will probably deny whathappened.
From the beginning, I knew thatthe world has to know and I
started.
(48:17):
I posted on Instagram my storyin English on October 8th, so
less than 24 hours after thesituation, and because I was
pretty much like one of thefirst, or maybe the first person
that actually made this kind oflike sharing the story and, of
(48:42):
course, in English also.
It went very viral and I justreceived a lot of reporters,
different channels, from allover the world, trying to reach
out to me to do interviews, andI started at the very beginning.
I just did a lot of differentinterviews.
Really, just try to.
(49:07):
You know you feel so helplessand so scared, so I think you
try to channel that.
This is a way for me to handlethe situation.
You feel so guilty anddevastated and it's just yeah,
try to do whatever I can.
We still have our hostages.
So many people lost their livesand I'm trying to do the best I
(49:32):
can to make sure that theirdeath will not be in vain and
that I'm, you know, fighting theunbelievably terrible increase
in anti-Semitism that we'reexperiencing and also we have to
hopefully help with raisingawareness and making sure that
(49:56):
we do everything that we can tohave the hostages return.
And I think after a month ofdoing those interviews, I knew
that I have to see people inperson.
I have to because, you know, onsocial media and the news and
whatever way you have to getthose kind of information, we
(50:20):
are seeing so many fake news andpeople that are trying to twist
the facts and I felt like wehave to gain more credibility
and more empathy, and the bestway to achieve that is if I will
go in person on campuses tospeak live.
They can meet me, they can seeme, they can see that I have
(50:42):
those images on my phone andyeah, so I just started to go on
those tours and this is what Ido.
I have been in the UnitedStates for three weeks in
November and December and cameback.
Now I'm here for two weeksalready and been in Europe many
(51:04):
times.
I'm just trying to do whateverI can to make sure people know,
is it?
Speaker 1 (51:08):
hard for you to keep telling your story?
Does it, does it?
Are you used to kind ofexperience it over and over
again when you're sharing whathappened?
Speaker 3 (51:20):
Yes and no.
Well, like yes, it's hard tosay it and I do experience it,
but the no part is because,whether I like it or not, it
plays on my brain.
So so like, yeah, it's hard,but it's, it's also hard just to
exist, and so I rather, youknow, at least make something
(51:47):
out of it.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
How do you feel about ?
You know you mentioned the risein antisemitism as somebody
who's been through somethinghorrific and then seeing the
world just be silent and just orworse or worse, attack Jews and
just the just it's I can't eventalk about it anymore.
(52:12):
Like it it's, it's been just themost horrific four months.
Like it almost feels like Jewswere not allowed to grieve.
You know we have to fight forour lives and we have to prove
that we're allowed to exist hereand you know we weren't given
the time to heal from this.
(52:35):
That we're just like fightingfor our lives.
Like how does it feel for you,as a note, as a survivor, to see
what's happening around theworld?
Speaker 3 (52:44):
Um, obviously it's.
It's not easy and it's morethan anything.
I think it's scary to towitness that.
But I, my approach to thesituation is the same as I had
(53:06):
on October 7th, which is a lotof this are not in my control
and it is terrifying, but I Ihave to concentrate on the
things that I can do and andthis is this is my way of
handling this very hardsituation and just do whatever I
(53:29):
can.
And I think that you knowthere's a lot, of, a lot of
people are just ignorance inthat, in that matter, and then I
hope, and I also do do feellike it's, it's like that in a
way that when they hear me andsee me, they are able to feel
(53:50):
more empathy.
And I'm not saying that they'rechanging their minds just by
listening to me, but for thevery least they are
understanding the situation is abit more complicated and that
they should be more more mindedto what they're posting, because
(54:10):
it's not, you know, it's notjust like.
I see three videos on TikTokand I can feel like I know it.
The situation is so complicated, it's really so.
Hopefully that makes it itsimpact.
Speaker 2 (54:29):
Well, I think it 100% does.
Like it's so impressive to methat you were able to identify
that early on, after it happenedthat the difference between
being able to deny you from ascreen and deny you in person is
two completely different things.
Like that is so important andjust really socially intelligent
(54:54):
way to approach that part of it.
Because you're absolutely right, Like you can swipe by your
story online, you can justremove it from whatever you're
looking at, but to see you andhear you in person or to have a
conversation with you, you don'tget to swipe through that.
You have to experience it withyou and the impact of that, I
(55:17):
think and I'm sure you'reexperiencing some is far more
massive than you could ever dofrom behind a screen.
Speaker 3 (55:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
Okay, I wanna ask, I mean a fun question what do you
like to do for fun, Like, whoare you besides this awful thing
?
Speaker 3 (55:40):
Well, I don't have a fun answer.
I can tell you what I used tolike, but I honestly I feel like
I'm very lucky to survive, butI do feel in many ways like I
have been murdered that day andI don't know who I am.
(56:02):
Now I don't do anything for fun.
It's a combination of reallynot knowing who I am and not
having the ability to accessthose kind of emotions, and so
that, and also the fact that myfamily are now in the military
and we have the hostages, andit's not something that I'm
(56:26):
capable of doing.
And again, I'm just trying todo what I can do and focus on
the good things and try as hardas I can to recover so I can
love again my loved ones asfully as I used to, or more.
(56:50):
And I can answer again abouthow I used to be, if you want me
to.
Speaker 2 (56:55):
I can share about my old me.
Speaker 3 (56:59):
So the old me, she was all about the fun, she, I
was on my way of becoming atherapist.
I was supposed to start mysecond degree this October and
of course I didn't start thatand I was working in education
(57:19):
and therapy and then also I wasa DJ and a party producer Wow
yeah.
So I really love dancing.
I really loved music.
I was a very social person.
I spent a lot of time with myfamily, with my friends, going
out a lot, going to the beach,doing yoga, traveling.
(57:44):
I really enjoyed also just tobe with myself, journaling being
.
I dedicate a lot of my time todoing good and volunteering and
just making sure that whateverjob that I have or what I'm
(58:06):
studying will contribute to theworld and at the same time, I
definitely dedicate a lot of mytime to just be with myself or
having fun, and I think thatgoes together.
I kept saying like my sentence,like my I don't know how to say
that like my main sentenceMantra, your mantra.
(58:28):
Yeah, like my mantra was thatyou can't do good unless you are
happy yourself.
You gotta be good so they canmove that and transfer that to
others.
So, yeah, that was me beforeand now I'm trying step by step
to discover who I am now and tobuild my new personality and
(58:56):
hopefully I managed to do thatsoon and access all the emotions
so that I can enjoy.
And I try very hard to hold onto the faith in humanity, in
love, and I am confident thatlove would win.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
What's one thing you'd want people to know Like
in America, who might not knowIsraelis or don't know too much
about the conflict.
What's one thing you'd wantthem to know?
Speaker 3 (59:34):
I think it's really important for me that people
will understand that we are 0.2%of the population and the
Holocaust the only way it wasable to happen was because of
propaganda, and we have to speakup, we have to be willing.
I know it takes a lot ofcourage to do that nowadays, but
(59:57):
we have to do that.
We have to educate ourselves sothat we can know what we're
saying and have thosediscussions with people, and we
have to stay united.
And if people are not, I cansay many things about Israel and
to help people trying tounderstand better how they can
(01:00:20):
do those kind of discussion, butthat will take much longer.
So I will just say that we haveto try and have that and do
that and fight this, anotherimportant battle that we're
facing.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Well, we really appreciate your time and sharing
your story with us.
It's a lot to take on.
Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Yeah, I mean, there's so much courage in what you
told us, simply in the moment,and then finding the courage to
come share it with people overhere.
It's special, and maybe it'snot as special for Israelis more
of you are like that than maybeI would be used to over here
(01:01:10):
that seems to be the case but itis special that you're sharing
the story and it's a privilegeto be able to hear it, and I
really do believe that whateverversion of you comes out of this
and however long that takes,it's going to be amazing.
Thank you so much and thank youfor joining us.
Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Thank you so much and thank you for the opportunity.
Yeah, I appreciate your time aswell.
Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Thank you.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yeah, I don't know how to start this one.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's going to be a bit of a different episode for
us.
A little bit.
I mean, we have been talkingevery couple episodes about
what's going on post-October 7th, and so that's where we are
again with this particularepisode, because we were offered
(00:30):
the chance to speak withsomeone who was at the Nova
Music Festival.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
And I want to give a little bit of background.
So to people who might?
You know?
I'm sure most people by nowhave heard what happened on
October 7th.
I hope so.
Who knows anymore?
Honestly, for us, you know, whenwe as an Israeli Jewish woman
living in America and my familyliving in Israel, october 7th
(00:57):
changed our lives forever and Iremember the day like it was
yesterday and it still carrieswith me every single day.
And one of the big parts ofwhat happened was the Nova
Festival.
Because, you know, we were allkind of young in our 20s.
We went to parties, we went toraves and my niece is 25 years
(01:23):
old and she loves to go toparties and when I heard about
the Nova Festival I thoughtright away that she was there.
And you know, I think,thankfully she wasn't and she,
unfortunately she lost, you know, two friends at the festival.
But to just to think about theenergy of it's like, it's kind
(01:43):
of like a burning man.
You know, it's the energy ofyoung people listening to music
and dancing and being togetherand just love and you're in
nature and it's just thisbeautiful experience.
And then this horrible,horrible thing happens and the
world is silent.
You know, the music world issilent and it's just the most
(02:09):
horrible thing to even thinkabout.
And today we have a specialguest and I'm really thankful to
have her today.
Just through friends I heardshe was coming to the United
States to speak about herexperience.
She is a Nova survivor andshe's going from city to city
(02:30):
telling her story, raisingawareness, and I'm really
thankful to have her.
I'm sure it's very hard to talkabout this.
So, milette, welcome, welcome.
Thank you for joining us.
So do you want to just likestart and just tell us your
(02:51):
story and what happened?
Tell us a little bit about youknow, nova Festival for you.
Like was it your first time?
Have you been before?
Like what is it?
Is it like a big festivalthat's known in Israel like
every year?
Or just tell us a little bitmore about that.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Sure.
So this specific festival, thatwas like the first time it
happened actually.
So it's a collaboration with afestival Actually, the name of
the festival is UniversalParallel, which is nobody knows
it and the Nova is a productionof those kind of events,
(03:31):
festivals and parties, trance,music and they are very known in
Israel.
They do a lot of differentthings.
So that was specifically, thatwas like the first time of that
festival, yeah and but we doknow the Nova production so we
knew that this will be a very, avery good and something we
(03:55):
really.
I bought my ticket, I think, inJune.
We were excited about it, wewere, we looked for that event
specifically and definitely youknow a lot of the people, even
if you don't really know them.
You kind of see the same facesin those events over and over,
(04:18):
and maybe the most importantthing to say is that we are more
of a community, it's more likea family and it's something that
is so special to us.
You know, we go to those eventsto celebrate life and to just
be yourself, to feel completelyfree, judge free, and it's just
this amazing atmosphere of love.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And so tell us a little bit about you know, did
you go the night before or likea few nights?
When did it start?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So it started on Friday.
I arrived around 2 am and itwas supposed to go on until the
afternoon of Saturday.
I came with four other friendsand of course, you are joining
more friends at the party andalso, I must say, you get to
(05:16):
know many, many people at everyevent, because this is the,
these are the vibes.
Like you just waiting for thebathroom or you go to dance with
strangers, and it's a part ofit.
You know that everyone will bethe nicest and most kind people
(05:40):
you're going to meet.
You know that everybody wantsto just make everybody else feel
good about themselves, so it'slike that.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
So I suppose, like you got there at 2 am and then
things went sideways four hoursafter that, yeah, we had.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
We had a few hours of a very good festival.
Actually it was really reallygood and special and then at
6.30 the music stopped.
This is how we learned thatwe're actually under attack.
We noticed as long as the musickept going you don't really you
(06:24):
can't hear the, the rockets andonly when the DJs decided like
they noticed the situation andso they stopped the music and we
noticed this massive rise ofrockets and of course, it's it's
hard to even describe.
It's one second you're dancingand it's all you know.
(06:47):
Everything is is pure andperfect in the world, and then
the next second you findyourself under attack and it's
in an open field, so you don'thave any shelters and, of course
, mentally you're not prepared,Like your heart is so open.
This is such a vulnerablemoment for this to happen, Like
(07:09):
there are no good places to bewhen you are under attack, but I
think still, like that beingsaid, this is one of the worst
situations that you canexperience this at.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
And what was going through your head when the music
stopped, because I saw, youknow different people's versions
.
You know, in Israel people areused to, unfortunately, rockets
that happen, and it's like, okay, now we got to go to a shelter
and it's just sort of part oflife.
And some people were like, okay, you know, not panicking yet
what was going through like whatwas your experience?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
My first thought was that something went wrong with
the electricity or with thespeakers or something.
I didn't think that, like whowould think that?
But when I noticed it becauseit's impossible not to notice
the rockets I thought that okay,like yeah, we're gonna have to
(08:05):
wait for a few minutes and thenhopefully resume the party.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
And if not, then like okay, that's a bummer which I
want to note is a crazy thingLike that people don't think
about Living in Israel.
Is that having moments of likerockets and sirens is like a
normal thing and the fact thatthere's a moment of I'm at this
party, okay, it's gonna go backto, it's gonna.
(08:30):
The music is gonna turn back on.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Because in this case, the rockets that you heard and
saw were not coming at thefestival at this point.
They're just nearby, becausethe festival is actually very
close to the border right.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Yeah, well, it's not even like they.
We didn't get any rocketfalling down because we have the
Armdom, and afterwards we didhave some falling down, but I
think it's not even you knowthat you might get rockets in
(09:10):
your like field, like near you,and it's just.
I think you grow with thismentality of you, can't let fear
run your life.
And if I'm gonna not live mylife because I'm afraid people
keep asking like why did you gothere?
Or how, how can someone plan aparty that close to the border?
(09:34):
And for me it's this is myfourth terror attack like that I
experienced in my life mespecifically and I had one in
Tel Aviv one night going out andI had one in Jerusalem.
And it's like you can't reallyescape it when you have terror
organization besides you, whenyou have so many people that
(09:58):
their sole purpose in life is toharm you.
That's that.
What are we supposed to do?
To just stay in our houses andcry?
This is not the Israelimentality.
We just keep pushing throughand we know, we are aware of
that, but we're deciding not tolet terror win.
So I don't think it's a matterof not understanding how
(10:21):
dangerous it is or that, or evenit's not thinking that it might
not be dangerous.
We are well aware.
But at the same time, yeah,kind of getting used to it and
thinking, okay, like when, whenyou are in a situation that
you're most likely to be okay,you don't let it affect you, or
(10:41):
at least you try.
So, yeah, it wasn't panickingLike a lot of people did panic.
A lot of people also.
Yeah, didn't.
And, and more than anything,you just try to calculate the
risks and understand what wouldbe best to do after a few
minutes, because the rocketsjust kept getting worse and
(11:02):
worse.
Of course we we understood thisis not a regular.
I'm saying nothing, nothingabout this is regular, but we
understood it's more severe thanthan the usual rockets we're
receiving.
So we know we have to evacuateand try to find shelter
somewhere.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
So what happened next ?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Um, so what happened next was we try to escape.
We are 3,500 people at thatmusic festival and there is only
this one narrow, bumpy kind ofa road to get us out of there.
So you can imagine how thatwould look like, and we're
(11:46):
trying.
For me, the most amazing thingabout this is that we're all
trying to escape, but we're alsotrying to do this as a
community.
Um, like, no one cuts lines.
It's really incredible towitness and we're trying to
leave, but at this point we arestill thinking it's only rockets
(12:08):
.
So we're trying to to go.
I was.
I managed to get us to the roadoutside of the party zone and
I'm making a right turn, butafter a minute of driving I have
to stop because what happenedwas that the terrorists waited
us there and they're justshooting all the cards, and so
(12:28):
I'm making a very quick U-turn.
I'm trying to get to the otherside.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
So you drove and then you realize that there's
terrorists and you had to make adecision like a quick decision.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah, you have to do it very quickly or else you will
be better Like it's seconds.
Everything happened reallyquickly.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
So that was the first moment that you realized that
there were terrorists on theground.
It wasn't just rockets, it waswhen you got to the actual.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yeah, and so we tried to go to the other direction
and I drove for something liketwo minutes, but then I had to
stop again.
We had this like a lot of carsahead of us that are just
stopping.
The reason they stopped was theterrorists waited on both ends
and they're kind of like closingonto us.
So the first cars since theywere shot couldn't.
(13:22):
The people inside were nolonger with us, and so we had
this like traffic jam of hideoussituation, and at that point we
can hear the shooting.
We don't see them, but we knewthat these are terrorists.
This is something that I don'tknow if people not from Israel
(13:43):
will know, but when you hear theshooting, you can hear that the
weapons are on automatic modeand the IDF does not use that,
because we value life.
You don't just go and spraypeople.
So when we heard that, we knewthat these are only terrorists
and we kept waiting to hear asingle gunshot, but we didn't,
(14:06):
and the shooting kept gettingcloser and closer.
So we knew we have to make adecision.
We don't have any way to gowith our cars because both sides
are now you know, I don't evenknow what the word will be, but
we're like trapped on this road,and so we decided there's a lot
(14:26):
of cars, we're all stepping outof the cars, kind of confused,
and we decided we're going toditch the cars and run towards
the fields.
And it's honestly, it's justlike a terrible situation
because everywhere you go to youhave more people screaming,
shouting that they're terrorists.
(14:47):
And we found ourselves in thissadistic game, kind of just like
going back and forth in betweenthe terrorists in a very large,
open field.
You don't even have any placeto hide, the ground is very
bumpy.
It's not suitable, you know,obviously, like it's not meant
for people to escape.
And at a certain point we sawthis group of soldiers.
(15:10):
So we thought that's good,we'll run towards them.
But as we're trying to do that,we noticed they're carrying
RPGs, which is something inbetween a gun and a missile, and
again, something that you willnever see an IDF soldier
carrying, because it's onlymeant to be used against, like
if you're targeting a gun, ifyou're targeting a house or a
tank, but you don't just goaround and aim that towards
(15:32):
people.
So we knew that we're actuallyrunning towards terrorists and
we discovered later that whathappened was that they, after
killing soldiers, they wouldtake off their uniforms and put
it on so that they will confuseus.
Wow.
But now they're like 100 or 150yards away from us and we have
(15:56):
to run, obviously to the otherdirection to escape them and
we're kind of running towardsbullets from the other direction
.
You don't have any way.
It's just a very insane, scarykind of moment that is.
For me, it's even hard toremember exactly what happened.
(16:17):
You know, you start to seepeople falling down and it's
just very traumatic for me toeven remember what happened
there.
But I think what kept me going,I kept telling myself that
there is no use in being scaredand like this is the situation.
(16:41):
It's terrible, but I don't haveany control over that and the
only thing that I do havecontrol over is myself.
So, as scary as it is andreally everything is horrific
and of course, your body justkind of wants to shut down
because you don't want towitness this and the pulse rate
(17:04):
is like so high.
But I thought, okay, I'mprobably going to die soon, but
I'm not going to help them.
There's nothing else for me todo but just keep running and
hope that I will be okay somehow.
So I just I kept going and Itried to find a place to hide
(17:29):
and we just kept going for avery long time until we found
this.
We found a tree that we werelike a group of 10 people
staying under, and that wasmaybe the I don't know how to
(17:52):
describe it like the scariestmoment, even though it was much
scarier to run from the terracebecause I noticed that I'm slow
in comparison to others and Ijust like I try to run faster
but I can't and like it'sterrifying.
But when we stood under thistree, I had a group of people
with me and this one guy told me, told us, but like he looks at
(18:16):
me and he says that we're movingtargets, and for me that was a
very hard moment because I thinkthat was the first moment I
stopped for a second to realizethe situation.
And when he said that, it wasthe moment that I really knew
that we're trapped and that'sthat like there's no way out,
it's not, it's not going to beover soon, and so we decided we
(18:40):
have to split because they'llsee us.
We're 10 people, that's toomuch, and we just ran low
Everybody's just going differentdirections and eventually I
found I had the.
I told them I came with fourpeople.
So the two guys, they keptgoing.
(19:01):
They just ran, tried to likedodge bullets and eventually,
after four hours of running,they got to this village nearby
and they found shelter there.
And me and the two girls, wefound this bush and we decided
we'll crawl under.
We had another girl, she joinedus at that point we don't, we
(19:23):
didn't know her at the time, butof course now we know her.
But we were just, you know,laying down there.
We tried to cover ourselveswith leaves and herbs we found
there.
It's.
It's not much.
There's not much of plantsaround you and you just try to
(19:43):
stay silent as possible becausethey're surrounding you.
The shooting keeps going, therocket keeps keeps going.
You hear the screaming inArabic.
It's all very frightening, andwe tried to call the police at
that point but they didn'tanswer.
And you know they they answered, I think like half an hour
(20:04):
after laying down there, whichwas already 9.30, because the
part where we ran that was twohours of running.
And when they they didn'tanswer, they just told us that
they're sorry but like they,they don't have anyone to send
to us because all the villagesaround are being taken over by
terrorists and so they'rebasically they're saying like,
(20:28):
hang in there, good luck.
And you know, I know now likeit's, I'm not even mad at them.
They really try to do whateverthey could.
You know it's it was this kindof impossible situation to to
manage.
Who thought that we'll have3,000 terrorists in Israel?
(20:50):
Yeah, but I, I knew I have toreach out to get help.
I didn't want to talk to myfamily before because I didn't
want to concern them, but I knewI have to and so I send, I told
them a little bit about thesituation and and shared our
(21:13):
location and and you know it's,you have to save battery.
Of course you just want to talkto everyone you love, because
now I'm saying everything fromthe perspective of I know how it
turned out, but at the momentyou think that you're going to
(21:36):
die every minute.
Now you don't know if it's goingto be your last minute.
I thought what I can say in asentence that will be good as my
last words, because I have tosave battery and I have to have
those last words to my family.
I told them that I really lovethem and that I'm happy with the
(22:01):
life I had.
I think what went through mymind was that I'm truly okay
with dying and I'm truly blessedand I felt very fortunate for
the life I had and everythingthat I have accomplished so far.
But to think about my familyand what they're going to go
(22:24):
through that was devastating forme.
I tried to find something thatwill comfort them going through
this unthinkable thing of losingme.
So, yeah, this is what made mewrite what I wrote.
(22:44):
And yeah, do you want me tokeep going?
Yes, please keep going.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I have a question.
In the beginning you'rescanning and you're hearing the
gunshots and you see the RPG andyou have all of this knowledge
of what you're listening to andbeing able to identify it in
real time Like this is off.
This is certainly not IDF and Iknow this because of XYZ.
Did you serve in the IDF?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Yeah, like most of the Israelis, I also served in
the IDF.
I wasn't in a combat unit, butI did have the basic training
and I think just being Israeli,even if you're not a warrior
yourself, like all of mysiblings, like my brothers, are
(23:40):
all your friends.
It's something that you know inIsrael, I think.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
It's something that, when I think about all of the
people that were there, I can'thelp but think of how many lives
that that sort of understandingprobably saved across the board
because, like you said,everyone there would have sort
of those same instincts.
Now, whether or not in themoment you can act on them is
different for sure, but to havethat awareness probably saved
(24:07):
like a lot of people's lives,including yours just to be able
to identify what's off aboutthat situation so quickly.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, for sure it's very important and also kind of
sad that we have to know thosekind of things in Israel.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, and at one point you said you were
listening for a single gunshot.
What was important about that?
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Because that would mean that there is someone from
the IDF or from the police,because they will use that.
So, like the automatic shootingwe waited for them to have,
like a reaction from our forces,that we didn't hear that until
(25:00):
the first time we heard a singlegunshot was maybe 10 am.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
So we're talking three and a half four hours in
before there's a response?
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, although I know for a fact that we had forces
reacting before, but just notclose enough to where we were.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Because it was really .
They made it impossible forpeople to approach.
They waited on every crossroadwith tons of terrorists just
shooting whoever is trying tocome near.
So every force that did try toget to us were immediately
(25:41):
murder.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
So the first people that made it to the exits were
the first people to die.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Yeah, yeah, sadly, yeah.
It was insane to understand nowhow every single decision we've
made was so crucial.
If I would have left threehours before, I might not be
here.
Three like it's the people thatactually were able to leave
(26:17):
before us.
Most of them didn't make it,and people who left after us,
same like the people who stayedin the party zone.
Barely of them survived, andthis is also very sad, because a
lot of people couldn't leave,not because they just decided
not to go, but, same way, wewere hitting traffic.
(26:39):
I call it hitting traffic,which is not it's not the right
way to describe it but we gotstuck on a part that was already
helping us to get a bit furtherso that we could actually
escape the actual zone of theparty.
Others did not have theopportunity because they got
(27:00):
stuck, I don't know, like a milecloser to the party.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
How big is this, this total area of surface from like
one entrance to the other?
You said you were.
You were on the run for twohours going back and forth,
attempting to just avoid anygunfire.
Like how far are you travelingin between these two points?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So I know now that the place I was hiding at was
like maybe two miles away fromthe party, but I ran for longer
distance but just didn't reallymanage to get ahead, because you
just go back and forth, youkind of like you don't really,
you don't have the ability toactually go so far.
(27:46):
But yeah, we just try to to gethelp from someone to to come
and rescue us, and it's very,it's very difficult because,
well, no one is coming andyou're just lying there for
(28:08):
hours and they shouldn't keptgetting closer and closer.
So it's, it's like a scene froma, from a horror movie, like
it's.
I can't describe how it feels.
Like it's.
It's terrible, you'refrightened and it's.
(28:28):
We got to the point where we canhear them walking and talking.
Like the beginning.
It's just like screaming andshooting, which is terrible as
well, and of course, theshooting is it's not just
shooting in the background.
You can hear the whistle of thebullets above you.
So you know it's, it's close.
But when we actually heard themtalking, that was you know, you
(28:52):
try not to even breathe and weheard them laughing, which is I
don't know the fact that someonecan be so brutal and cruel and
laugh at the same time, it's itterrifies you.
(29:14):
It's terrible to know thatpeople can can be like that, the
human beings can act like that.
And they found this Israeli guythat was hiding near us.
We just heard, heard this likeshout.
He screamed that like theyfound me hill, and then a lot of
shooting.
(29:34):
And then we saw a couple ofthem and for me it was very
clear that if they will see us,they will rape us.
So I, just at that point, Istarted praying that a rocket
will hit me.
I wanted, I just wanted to dielike I wanted.
(29:55):
I thought, ok, I wish that arocket will hit me and if not,
then I wish that they will sprayus before they'll do whatever
they're going to do to us.
So, why did you?
have that thought of them rapingus I think, again, being
(30:16):
Israeli, usually in the previousterror attacks that we had that
were getting women, they rapedthe women before murdering them.
It's not something new.
It never happened on a scalelike we had now, but but
(30:40):
definitely something that wealready are.
Again terrible to say, but wewere used to or we're aware of
it, and you know I, I hatedmyself that moment because it
felt like we're dressed up forthem.
You know, we had the outfits ofthe of the festival and you go
(31:05):
with those outfits only becauseyou feel so safe in those
specific events.
I wouldn't go, you know, justlike that, in the streets, like
it's not.
It's not something that I wouldwear to any other occasion, and
of course it's not.
It's not like if I would havewore something differently then
(31:27):
they wouldn't do this, but justthe fact that, on top of this,
we are dressed up like that.
That was even more terrible forme, and knowing now that they
did this to so many other girlsand actually not just girl, but
mostly it's it's still thehardest part of that day.
(31:48):
And also, this is somethingthat it's important for me to
say, as hard as it is, but wehave to speak up, because they
are still doing it to thehostages and I?
I don't know how the worlddoesn't.
It's very hard for me to knowthat people are staying silent
(32:12):
while this atrocity is happening, but with with us, we had this
I don't know how to call it amiracle lock, whatever but they
just didn't notice us.
They kept going.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
How close were they?
Like you said, you heard themjust talking like how close and
you saw them.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Yeah, I will say like 30 feet, maybe 40, like I don't
know exactly like they're.
Yeah, something like that.
If they would have rotate theirhead like just a little bit,
they will notice us, like theywould have seen us.
It was very just like they forsome reason did not.
(32:53):
They just kept going to.
We were hiding.
So we had this like kind of abush that was hiding that the
back in the back.
If you go behind it you can seeus, but if you go from the
other side, like if you are inthis side of the bush, you can
definitely see us.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
And they kept going like they came, like this so
right in front of the bush thewhole time.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, and if they would just like look a bit to
like around to the side orturning around, they would see
us, but luckily they just didn't.
But of course it's like the themost horrifying situation to be
.
It's like you try the best notto breathe, not to move, all you
want to do is cry, but youobviously can't.
(33:36):
It's like you feel like allyour body is filled with poison,
sort of, and Obviously you wantto faint.
It's like it's so scary, it's I.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Mean, even just hearing it, it's like even, and
I can't imagine experiencing itit's like it's too much.
Yeah like at what point didthey find?
Like where you rescued, like Ihad it.
What happened that next um?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Well, we, luckily, throughout this day, I had Great
source of power, because I havemy siblings, and just thinking
about them and Knowing that Ihave to be the sister they
(34:33):
deserve was what kept me going.
And I had my, my youngestbrother, tech.
He texted me that he trusts meover a hundred percent, which is
a very sweet thing to say Underthose circumstances, like
obviously he's at home and liketerrified and trying to get me
(34:56):
some help.
But it was very, it was veryimportant for me and I think
it's it's one of the thing thatI, every time I'm sharing my
story, I I Tell about thismessage because it's so
important that we acknowledgethe power of love and and words,
(35:16):
and just you know how, how muchit's Important just to tell the
people that we love them, thatwe actually like, we trust them,
we love them, we believe inthem, because it's it's it what
kept me going and, and so I justtry not to lose hope, even
though I was very certain I'mgonna die.
(35:37):
But I kept trying for them andI posted on Instagram the
situation as well and we're justtrying to.
You know, we had this kind of anetwork of all the friends and
family and and People that wedon't even know trying to to
help us, and eventually we wereUm connected to Rami David Deann
(36:00):
Did you hear that name?
so he did he probably it's it's.
It's important that everybodywill know his name, because he
is a hero that decidedvoluntarily to go in and To
rescue people.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
He came in his car.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Yeah, he, he went back and forth for three days
trying to rescue people.
He ended up saving over 700.
Wow, in the party, which is soheroic.
It's it's unbelievable.
He, he's true, true hero.
And and he tried to find us andAfter Very long time he
(36:45):
couldn't find us.
Then I asked him to send us hislocation.
Instead I'm trying to kind ofnavigate, like through, through,
like using I'm using the Sunand the hour and I'm trying to
give him directions because it'sthe service was not good, so we
didn't have the full map, wedidn't really know where we are.
But I'm trying to give himdirections and and as I do that,
(37:11):
actually I noticed that I have3% left of butter in my phone.
It was already maybe like 1 30pm.
This, this situation kept goingfor so long, and so I just told
them that I'm gonna try to savethat battery, I'm gonna turn off
my phone and I'm asking for himto.
(37:33):
To not give up on us is ouronly hope now.
And he was Incredible.
He said he's gonna honk thehorn of his car until he finds
us.
So that way we know like wewill hear him if he's close, and
I turn off my phone and we'rejust laying down there, you know
, holding hands, praying like Idon't know.
(37:53):
We know that this is our lastchance.
We're also very tired anddehydrated and we actually we
had a lot of Fire antsunderneath us, like the whole
situation is hideous.
We have the sun in our eyes.
It's like I Feel like, even ifthe tourists will not find us, I
(38:17):
don't know for how long we cankeep going, you know, just
surviving under those extremeconditions.
And Then around, like half anhour later, we suddenly her her
at a car.
So I'm trying to turn on myphone again and and and I'm
(38:40):
trying.
We're kind of like playing, youknow, hard and cold, trying to
see if we can understand wherehe is.
And I, I realize I have to getout of the hiding place too in
order to find him, and of course, we still have the shooting
going on.
So it's very, very scary tocrawl outside.
But we knew this is our bestchance.
(39:04):
You don't have a choice.
It's like you got to be brave.
So I started to crawl outsideand I'm looking for a car and I
noticed one car that went byreally fast and I thought it's
not gonna like he's gonna driveslow, but in the last second I
noticed there is a sticker thatsays something in Hebrew on that
(39:27):
car.
So I raised my body for liketwo seconds and and Actually
they notice, they notice me andcame back and in that car was
Leon Val, which is another hero.
They voluntarily decide to goin and rescue people.
He, he also.
He did this for two days.
(39:47):
He went back and forth rescuingtons of people Until, sadly, he
, he was murdered by terrorists.
So it's very important for meto Honor his memory and and and
share his heroic story.
But as for that point, we justI like the second I got into his
(40:08):
car.
My phone died.
It was insane.
The other girls came to the car.
We saw a lot of other peoplefrom the party.
We were kind of like sitting ontop of each other in the car.
We also asked him to look forthe guy that we heard before,
but he couldn't find his car.
But he couldn't find him.
So we can only assume theykidnapped the body or something.
(40:28):
But then he turns for us toRami's car, because of course
you got to stay low, you can'tbe.
The fact that we were sitting ontop of each other was Dangerous
when you have all the shootinggoing on.
He tried to escape this fieldnow.
So it was good because Rami wasreally close.
We moved to his car and thenthey had us.
(40:51):
They brought us to a villagenearby called Pateesh, and
Actually our friends from beforethey ran to that specific
village so we were reunited withthem.
That was, that was good.
And they just put us in thislarge shelter with a lot of
other survivors, people from theparty kept kept coming.
(41:12):
You know a lot of them areinjured.
We're all very shocked and kindof.
It kind of feels like you seetons of ghosts, but at least we
had water and we were morepeople together.
We felt I can't say we feltsafe, but we felt safer and In
(41:33):
the evening the idea was able toescort us finally to to bear
Shiva, see it in your body andour families could come and pick
us up from there.
So that was.
We arrived there at 7 pm,something like that.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
So, yeah, go ahead.
So you did, you saw, you got tosee your family like 12 hours
after the, after the initialAttack.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Yeah, it's like it's 12 and a half hours of this
Nightmare.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Wow, how did it feel seeing them again.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
I Think I had this like moment to replay, like I
replay this moment in my brainthroughout all this day and I
kept thinking about this momentof hugging them and Every time I
thought about it I thought I'mnot gonna make it like I thought
(42:30):
it would make me cry, like I, Ithought about it, I will start
crying and then I will stop.
I try to think about somethingdifferent, because I can't cry.
So it was very, it was veryMoving, like it was very I don't
know.
You have all the emotions.
It's kind of like you can'tbelieve that you're finally with
(42:50):
them, like all you want to dois hug them.
Of course, we all cried, likeit's.
It's a.
It's a crazy moment toexperience and I think I I had
like the adrenaline Going for afew more hours before I started
to.
Really it's hard to to graspwhat you went through.
(43:14):
It's hard to understand what weexperienced.
So the beginning was more acombination of feeling happy and
, I don't know, anxious.
As the time went by, it's moreI was very you kind of like cry
(43:41):
without control, a lot of panicattacks.
I was very confused.
I wasn't sure, like I keptthinking that I'm still there.
I was very confused.
I was also very much afraidthat I'm going to lose my sanity
, because it feels like it.
(44:02):
Definitely you feel like you'relosing your mind.
How long did that?
And?
of course you know sorry.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
How long did that feel like that?
Speaker 3 (44:13):
Well in a way it still does Because it's
different, but I know now thatthis is something that I'm going
to have to live with.
Of course, I'm diagnosed withsevere PTSD and depression and
anxiety, and this is my new life.
I have to live with that.
(44:34):
I still haven't been able tofall asleep.
I sleep like an hour a nightand I'm not really able to eat
as I used to.
I set my alarms every few hoursso I can eat a few bites of
something Because I want to beokay.
(44:58):
But I think my body is stillkind of nervous that if I will
eat something that is too heavy,I'm not going to be able to
escape, in case I will have to.
So I'm kind of like still inthis alarmed mode.
But the very crazy beginningthat was, I think, a week we
also had, like you are very muchafraid of your entire country
(45:20):
and we kept hearing about moreand more.
We had a lot of people missingand you keep hearing about more
and more people you know thatare now gone and it's just very
chaotic.
And to attend funerals of youngpeople, it's the most
(45:44):
devastating thing.
It's your heart just breaksover and over throughout this
week and in the end of thatfirst week.
I think that what happened tome is just like my heart decided
to shut down, and so the firstweek was very chaotic and a lot
of crying, and after that it'skind of, in a way, it's like the
(46:05):
opposite, but it's still notnormal.
It's being numb and kind of youtry to protect yourself.
And I felt like I still feelthat, Like I lost my emotional
memory, Like I can't, I don'thave the ability to really feel
(46:26):
anything, and I also thinkingback or just seeing people that
I know that I'm, I know that Ilove them, but I don't, I don't
feel that.
I can't feel that.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
So are you working with, like a therapist or any
professionals to help you workthrough the trauma?
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Yeah, I have.
I have several differenttherapists.
I think what we areexperiencing the most is that no
one knows what to do with us,because we never experienced
something like that.
And though a lot of people aretrying and I'm not saying that
(47:09):
it's not helping at all, ofcourse it has, I don't know,
somewhat of positive effect, butit's it's going to take long
time for us to recover for forthe therapist to understand how
exactly they can approach us.
We're all learning as we'regoing.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
So I'm curious.
You know, we're only four and ahalf months removed from that
time and now you're over heretelling your story.
Like what was that decision?
Like what, what went into?
Like I want to do this, how didyou, how did you get to that
decision?
(47:54):
And come over here.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
So for me, it was very clear that it's it's.
Maybe it will sound weird, butit was very clear to me that the
world will probably deny whathappened.
From the beginning, I knew thatthe world has to know and I
started.
(48:17):
I posted on Instagram my storyin English on October 8th, so
less than 24 hours after thesituation, and because I was
pretty much like one of thefirst, or maybe the first person
that actually made this kind oflike sharing the story and, of
(48:42):
course, in English also.
It went very viral and I justreceived a lot of reporters,
different channels, from allover the world, trying to reach
out to me to do interviews, andI started at the very beginning.
I just did a lot of differentinterviews.
Really, just try to.
(49:07):
You know you feel so helplessand so scared, so I think you
try to channel that.
This is a way for me to handlethe situation.
You feel so guilty anddevastated and it's just yeah,
try to do whatever I can.
We still have our hostages.
So many people lost their livesand I'm trying to do the best I
(49:32):
can to make sure that theirdeath will not be in vain and
that I'm, you know, fighting theunbelievably terrible increase
in anti-Semitism that we'reexperiencing and also we have to
hopefully help with raisingawareness and making sure that
(49:56):
we do everything that we can tohave the hostages return.
And I think after a month ofdoing those interviews, I knew
that I have to see people inperson.
I have to because, you know, onsocial media and the news and
whatever way you have to getthose kind of information, we
(50:20):
are seeing so many fake news andpeople that are trying to twist
the facts and I felt like wehave to gain more credibility
and more empathy, and the bestway to achieve that is if I will
go in person on campuses tospeak live.
They can meet me, they can seeme, they can see that I have
(50:42):
those images on my phone andyeah, so I just started to go on
those tours and this is what Ido.
I have been in the UnitedStates for three weeks in
November and December and cameback.
Now I'm here for two weeksalready and been in Europe many
(51:04):
times.
I'm just trying to do whateverI can to make sure people know,
is it?
Speaker 1 (51:08):
hard for you to keep telling your story?
Does it, does it?
Are you used to kind ofexperience it over and over
again when you're sharing whathappened?
Speaker 3 (51:20):
Yes and no.
Well, like yes, it's hard tosay it and I do experience it,
but the no part is because,whether I like it or not, it
plays on my brain.
So so like, yeah, it's hard,but it's, it's also hard just to
exist, and so I rather, youknow, at least make something
(51:47):
out of it.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
How do you feel about ?
You know you mentioned the risein antisemitism as somebody
who's been through somethinghorrific and then seeing the
world just be silent and just orworse or worse, attack Jews and
just the just it's I can't eventalk about it anymore.
(52:12):
Like it it's, it's been just themost horrific four months.
Like it almost feels like Jewswere not allowed to grieve.
You know we have to fight forour lives and we have to prove
that we're allowed to exist hereand you know we weren't given
the time to heal from this.
(52:35):
That we're just like fightingfor our lives.
Like how does it feel for you,as a note, as a survivor, to see
what's happening around theworld?
Speaker 3 (52:44):
Um, obviously it's.
It's not easy and it's morethan anything.
I think it's scary to towitness that.
But I, my approach to thesituation is the same as I had
(53:06):
on October 7th, which is a lotof this are not in my control
and it is terrifying, but I Ihave to concentrate on the
things that I can do and andthis is this is my way of
handling this very hardsituation and just do whatever I
(53:29):
can.
And I think that you knowthere's a lot, of, a lot of
people are just ignorance inthat, in that matter, and then I
hope, and I also do do feellike it's, it's like that in a
way that when they hear me andsee me, they are able to feel
(53:50):
more empathy.
And I'm not saying that they'rechanging their minds just by
listening to me, but for thevery least they are
understanding the situation is abit more complicated and that
they should be more more mindedto what they're posting, because
(54:10):
it's not, you know, it's notjust like.
I see three videos on TikTokand I can feel like I know it.
The situation is so complicated, it's really so.
Hopefully that makes it itsimpact.
Speaker 2 (54:29):
Well, I think it 100% does.
Like it's so impressive to methat you were able to identify
that early on, after it happenedthat the difference between
being able to deny you from ascreen and deny you in person is
two completely different things.
Like that is so important andjust really socially intelligent
(54:54):
way to approach that part of it.
Because you're absolutely right, Like you can swipe by your
story online, you can justremove it from whatever you're
looking at, but to see you andhear you in person or to have a
conversation with you, you don'tget to swipe through that.
You have to experience it withyou and the impact of that, I
(55:17):
think and I'm sure you'reexperiencing some is far more
massive than you could ever dofrom behind a screen.
Speaker 3 (55:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
Okay, I wanna ask, I mean a fun question what do you
like to do for fun, Like, whoare you besides this awful thing
?
Speaker 3 (55:40):
Well, I don't have a fun answer.
I can tell you what I used tolike, but I honestly I feel like
I'm very lucky to survive, butI do feel in many ways like I
have been murdered that day andI don't know who I am.
(56:02):
Now I don't do anything for fun.
It's a combination of reallynot knowing who I am and not
having the ability to accessthose kind of emotions, and so
that, and also the fact that myfamily are now in the military
and we have the hostages, andit's not something that I'm
(56:26):
capable of doing.
And again, I'm just trying todo what I can do and focus on
the good things and try as hardas I can to recover so I can
love again my loved ones asfully as I used to, or more.
(56:50):
And I can answer again abouthow I used to be, if you want me
to.
Speaker 2 (56:55):
I can share about my old me.
Speaker 3 (56:59):
So the old me, she was all about the fun, she, I
was on my way of becoming atherapist.
I was supposed to start mysecond degree this October and
of course I didn't start thatand I was working in education
(57:19):
and therapy and then also I wasa DJ and a party producer Wow
yeah.
So I really love dancing.
I really loved music.
I was a very social person.
I spent a lot of time with myfamily, with my friends, going
out a lot, going to the beach,doing yoga, traveling.
(57:44):
I really enjoyed also just tobe with myself, journaling being
.
I dedicate a lot of my time todoing good and volunteering and
just making sure that whateverjob that I have or what I'm
(58:06):
studying will contribute to theworld and at the same time, I
definitely dedicate a lot of mytime to just be with myself or
having fun, and I think thatgoes together.
I kept saying like my sentence,like my I don't know how to say
that like my main sentenceMantra, your mantra.
(58:28):
Yeah, like my mantra was thatyou can't do good unless you are
happy yourself.
You gotta be good so they canmove that and transfer that to
others.
So, yeah, that was me beforeand now I'm trying step by step
to discover who I am now and tobuild my new personality and
(58:56):
hopefully I managed to do thatsoon and access all the emotions
so that I can enjoy.
And I try very hard to hold onto the faith in humanity, in
love, and I am confident thatlove would win.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
What's one thing you'd want people to know Like
in America, who might not knowIsraelis or don't know too much
about the conflict.
What's one thing you'd wantthem to know?
Speaker 3 (59:34):
I think it's really important for me that people
will understand that we are 0.2%of the population and the
Holocaust the only way it wasable to happen was because of
propaganda, and we have to speakup, we have to be willing.
I know it takes a lot ofcourage to do that nowadays, but
(59:57):
we have to do that.
We have to educate ourselves sothat we can know what we're
saying and have thosediscussions with people, and we
have to stay united.
And if people are not, I cansay many things about Israel and
to help people trying tounderstand better how they can
(01:00:20):
do those kind of discussion, butthat will take much longer.
So I will just say that we haveto try and have that and do
that and fight this, anotherimportant battle that we're
facing.
Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Well, we really appreciate your time and sharing
your story with us.
It's a lot to take on.
Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Yeah, I mean, there's so much courage in what you
told us, simply in the moment,and then finding the courage to
come share it with people overhere.
It's special, and maybe it'snot as special for Israelis more
of you are like that than maybeI would be used to over here
(01:01:10):
that seems to be the case but itis special that you're sharing
the story and it's a privilegeto be able to hear it, and I
really do believe that whateverversion of you comes out of this
and however long that takes,it's going to be amazing.
Thank you so much and thank youfor joining us.
Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Thank you so much and thank you for the opportunity.
Yeah, I appreciate your time aswell.
Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Thank you.
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