September 23, 2024 • 40 mins
What if your relationship conflicts could be defused with just a simple change in language? Curious about how "I" statements and choosing your battles can transform your relationship? Join us on the Lynn and Tony Know podcast as we share personal stories and practical strategies for navigating conflicts in relationships. From recognizing when your partner needs a break to addressing issues before they become major problems, we delve deep into the art of maintaining peace and love.
Interfaith marriages bring unique challenges and rewards, particularly when it comes to Jewish and non-Jewish couples. This episode explores these dynamics, especially in the context of recent historical events. Tony's journey to understanding and supporting Jewish causes offers a powerful example of how mutual respect and education can strengthen a relationship. We also feature listener stories that highlight the beautiful complexity of raising children with diverse belief systems and the impact of anti-Semitism on relationships.
The richness of interfaith marriages is a testament to the power of love and mutual respect. From a Jewish woman's deep connection to Israel shared with her Catholic husband, to a Catholic woman and her Hindu husband celebrating both Christmas and Diwali, these stories show how shared experiences can weave a beautiful tapestry of blended cultures and faiths. Tune in for a heartwarming episode that celebrates the harmony and richness of interfaith living.
Your hosts: @lynnhazan_ and @tonydoesknow
follow us on social @ltkpod!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, welcome to the Lynn and Tony Know podcast.
I'm your host, Lynn.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And I'm Tony.
We are both wellness coachesand married with kids.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Join us as we talk about all things health,
wellness, relationships, lifehacks, parenting and everything
in between, unfiltered.
Thanks for listening and let'sget into it.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Solo episode.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Solo dolo.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I wanted to start the episode with a question that
has nothing to do.
Well, I guess it does havesomething to do with today's
episode.
Okay, but somebody asked how doyou guys handle conflicts?
You seem to have it all figuredout.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah , yeah.
Okay, you want me to give?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
me a long leash.
No, you, you got it.
You got this Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay.
Okay, number one we do not haveit all figured out.
Okay, I want to start there andbe very clear that we do not
have it all figured out.
What we do have is someawareness of when conflict comes
up for us, of some of theground rules.
Right, we have pretty wellestablished boundaries that
(01:12):
aren't always honored, I wouldsay.
I mean, you know we're notperfect, but we do have a very
fundamental way of disagreeingor of dealing with friction, and
I don't know necessarily how toexpand on it beyond that.
(01:33):
But typically, here's whathappens is, if we have a moment
of contention and I will saythey're rare, it's not that
often but when it does happen,all it really takes is for one
person to stop taking itpersonally and it dissipates
pretty quickly.
I don't keep score of who'sdoing what, when and how many
(01:54):
times it's been me or you, buttypically one of us finds the
defuse button and hits it andthat's it.
We de-escalate pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
We have not generally drug anything out past a couple
hours I think the key is totalk about things when they come
up.
So there's two, two aspects.
There's talking about thingswhen it comes up like this, you
know and, and focusing on likehow you feel, as opposed to like
you, you, you it's like okay,this make I feel a little this,
(02:28):
or I feel a little frustrated orfeel a little resentful or
whatever you're feeling andsharing that.
So there's that aspect ofbringing it up right away
instead of like letting it kindof like fester.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
But then there's another aspect of, yes, picking
your battles.
Is this worth what I mean?
Yeah.
But then there's another aspectof, yes, picking your battles.
Is this worth?
Like you know, is my husband ormy partner a human being and
you know, can I just like letthis one go, like you know?
You know what I mean.
Like, oh, there's a dish in theyou know like, like, like,
there's certain things that youcan let go.
It's kind of like a it is apick your battle type thing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Okay, you just jarred loose a couple things for me
there, right?
What was the first thing thatyou said?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
The number one was Bringing it up and not letting
it fester.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
The other thing that I've developed a pretty good
awareness for and it's not evenjust awareness, it's having the
balls to say something is I'll,I know when you're letting it
build up, right.
And there's a version of mewell before this that would have
noticed and been like ah okay,she's not there yet and I don't
(03:37):
really feel like picking on it,so we'll just leave it alone,
even though that'scounterproductive to what I
ultimately want, which is peaceand love and the relationship.
So I there's a version of methat would just let it go.
And I noticed and it's likeokay, well, if she's not
bringing it up, then I'm notgoing to say anything, but now
I'll dig a little, I'll, I'lldraw it out If you're not
willing in that moment to gothere.
(03:57):
Sometimes I need a littlesometimes and it's not not that
often, but I will draw it out ifI feel like it's there, and
sometimes it's not you,sometimes I'm just in a poop
mood.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Of course, today I'm PMSing.
Of course, the reason why I'msitting here in a bra is because
I had a cute outfit on todayand then I was hungry at like
10.30 am and I sat down and atesushi and got soy sauce all over
myself and changed into a shirtthat was like thicker and I was
like sweating and I just likecame home and I you know two
(04:30):
kids, like a whole, a full daywith two kids.
Like you start the day lookingfeeling fresh, feeling good the
end of the day like I need ashower, like I'm disgusting
right now to be fair, today'scatastrophe had nothing to do
with the kids.
It did not no.
It's all about me, it's all me.
Okay.
So sorry, I went on a tangent.
(04:51):
That's a perfect segue.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's a perfect tangent into my next point,
which was piggybacking off whatyou said, which was pick your
battles.
Okay, and so how I've reframedthis part of it is not really
picking your battles, it's moreor less redefining what a battle
is right.
So you talk about the sink orthe dishes or whatever right.
(05:13):
There is a part of me thatwants to just pull my hair out
sometimes by the way that youstack the dishwasher, and we've
talked about this.
Like I like everything verylined up in the same spot.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I've gotten better at it though.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Sure and honestly it's whatever.
I don't care, because when Isee the dishwasher stacked like
that, I think about the day thatyou're having.
Likely that led you to not careabout which way the dishes went
into the dishwasher Right.
So it's not even about pickingthe battles.
For me it's looking at thethings and going I love this
(05:49):
person so much and if I'm in aposition where I love somebody
that much, then I must be ableto assume that at all times they
are giving the maximum effortin pretty much whatever they're
doing, and if they're not, thenthere's a really good reason as
to why.
So I default to the reasons whyit might be that way, and what
kind of day you had, or whatkind of things are on your mind
(06:11):
or that you have in your brain,and how much little you must
have left over to care aboutwhether or not the dishwasher is
perfect, literally like never.
Right, and so I frame thosetypes of things in that way.
So it's not about picking thebattle.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
It's about like this isn't a battle at all, but you
mentioning it to me, I do try tomake an effort to be better at
it.
You know what I mean.
Sometimes I'm good.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
But it's not a threat .
I'm going to pull at.
I'm not going to like.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And the thing is, some couples will fight about
the little shit is becausethere's something underneath
that's not addressed.
You know what I mean.
So we don't fight about thelittle shit that much because we
address the stuff that'sunderneath.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, and the overarching thing that threads
any any kind of triggering thatyou have, any kind of polarity
that you have with with anybody,whether it's the person that
you love or or a stranger on thestreet the people that you love
have a much better probabilityof triggering you than anybody
else because you let them closerand that's just how it is.
(07:11):
But ultimately and people gettired of hearing this likely
because they refuse to accept itis that it's simply reflecting
back something in some part ofyou that you haven't gotten with
, that you haven't accepted, andthat's always running in the
background.
For me, if I get, if I get woundup, if I get wound up about
something in somebody else, thenthen fuck, it's probably time
(07:33):
for me to look at what thatmeans for me.
So that's, that's kind ofalways just software that's
running in the in the back.
That program's always runningfor me, so I can usually make it
about.
In this case, make it about me,right, like if there's
something that even smells likea conflict or smells like a
battle.
It's probably a battle that Ijust haven't had with myself yet
(07:53):
and need to go there and figureit out.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So, yeah, I mean, we don't have it all figured out,
but you know, we, yeah, we do apretty good job communicating
and it's not always like perfect, but like we put put a lot of
attention, like yeah, like youknow it's cliche, but like yeah,
like having a happy marriage,you have to work at it, but we
don't look at it as like hardwork or shitty work.
(08:16):
It's like no, we want to workat it because we, we love each
other very much and we have anamazing relationship and it's,
you know, it's worth it, likehaving hard discussions and and
sometimes we handle it great andwe have an amazing relationship
and it's you know, it's worthit.
Like having hard discussions andsometimes we handle it great
and we snap out of it and youknow everything's fine.
And then some other days, likewe were like okay, that, like we
need to work on this.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, and we have a pretty well-defined set of
topics that if if we're notresourced enough to have the
conversations, then we're notgoing to have them.
I'm not going to have a toughconversation at 50% or she's at
50% yesterday at 11 PM.
Yeah, I mean that was you had tovent a little bit and that was
literally the first time you'dseen me all day, so that that
that was fair game and Iunderstood that.
(08:55):
I understood that, yes, there'salways going to be a part of me
that wells up with the versionsof me that came before that go.
Do we really have to fuckinghave this conversation right now
?
But I have the ability to saynot today.
Take a seat.
This is adult.
Tony is in the driver's seat,so I understand that this is the
first time she's seen me allday.
Yes, would I like to go tosleep, of course, but if she
(09:16):
doesn't get this out now, it'scoming up tomorrow or the next
day or the next day.
So I have an awareness aroundsome of this stuff, stuff, but
the.
But the versions of me thatweren't like that are still
there like they still exist.
Yeah, you don't just get rid ofthem.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, you just, you just tell them it's okay so the
the long story short, we don'thave it all.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I'm kidding, no, but it's true yeah, of course we
don't have it all figured out,but like those are, those are
the.
That's the the quickest, mostcliff note version of it.
I, I think I can, I think wecould come to so speaking of
conflict and things like that.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
today's topic and we're talking about interfaith
marriages- this is such a cooltopic.
And the reason I I wanted totalk about this is because,
especially in the last year,I've been getting a lot of
messages from people who followme who aren't, uh, interfaith
marriages, specifically Jewishpeople and non, non Jewish
(10:08):
people, and some, you know,discussing, like, the challenges
that they're having, feelinglike they're, you know, not
understood or not supported andand yeah, and that's why I
wanted to talk about it, becauseit's been clearly a hard year
we're not going to only focus onthe Jewish, not Jewish aspect.
(10:30):
I think it applies to allinterfaith marriages.
There's it comes withchallenges and cultural
differences.
But post October 7th, like I, Ijoke around with Tony.
It's not really a funny joke,but it's kind of funny in a way
it's kind of funny.
It's kind of funny.
I joke around that, Like youknow, I think even Tony brought
it up.
Tony's brought it up.
He's like you know, I'm so gladthat, like we got married and
(10:52):
had a baby pre October 7th,cause there's like no way you
would date me.
And he's absolutely right, yeah, because you know, post October
7th there's no chance that Iwould date somebody out of the
faith.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I think about it all the time, like what it must be
like for single Jewish people todate right now, especially
women.
Yeah, like putting yourself outthere in the dating world as a
woman is that's kind of a scaryproposition.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And it feels unsafe as it is.
So tack on being Jewish andalso believing in Israel's right
to exist, or like the dirtyword that they've made it to be,
being a Zionist.
You know which is a in my.
I'm a proud Zionist and I'm,you know, happy to say it.
But and just in you know, like,like you, you know, people have
(11:43):
shared like screenshots fromlike Hinge and Tinder, like it's
just like no Zionist or freePalestine, and it just like,
yeah, you, you, you, we, we jokeabout it, but it's, it's true.
I think that if I were to besingle, I would probably, you
know, date only Jewish people,or probably go to Israel and
find like a reservist and reallylike give back to my country.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You don't have to like game it out too far.
This is a hypothetical thatdoesn't have to be like tapped
too deep into.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I don't think it's funny, though, um, but thanks,
thankfully for me, not only hasTony been incredibly supportive,
he's, he's also.
He's in this with me, Like.
He is like I don't know if youguys follow him on Instagram,
but he, he goes more hard on onlike than me in some days and
he's taken the time to educatehimself.
(12:36):
He walks around with with theuh, you know, Nova dog tags and
a star of David.
He, he's been very active andhe's, you know, been helping the
local community and just likereally getting involved and and
and also like listening andlearning and taking the time to,
to, to learn our history andand and really, and I think part
(12:57):
of it is, you know, I thinkfrom the beginning, when we
started dating, I said like.
I said like I want our kids tobe Jewish, Like you know what I
mean.
Like it was kind of clear like,OK, our kids are going to be
Jewish, and he was fine withthat.
And you know, we went to Israeltwice and you fell in love with
the country.
So I think all those thingsimpacted him and just
(13:21):
understanding, like, what it'slike having Jewish kids, and I
think that's motivated you.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, I mean, like you said, interfaith marriages
are something, that this topicgoes well beyond the Jewish,
non-jewish, obviously.
But what's interesting is howmuch October 7th has exacerbated
the issue for Jewish non-Jewishinterfaith marriages,
(13:51):
particularly for ones that youknow the partner that's not
Jewish maybe doesn't understandor is unwilling to understand,
or you know it's uncomfortableto a degree where they check out
, I think, would be the the bestway to put it.
And for me it's simply you know, I've I've said this to you
(14:15):
before.
I go back to our vows,literally like when, when we set
our wedding vows, like I meantit through good times and bad,
through sickness and then health, like through the polar
extremes of the human experience.
That's what I signed up for.
So for me it's like this iswhat I signed up for, like I
(14:36):
don't get it.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
But you go above, you go beyond the just supporting,
you go, you're, you're like,you're in the fight, You're.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
I guess you know, like you're coming with me to
protest.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You're encouraging me to go to protest, You're you
know what I'm saying?
Like all these things is aboveand beyond.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, and I hear you and you know, on a level I
understand what you mean by that, but to me it's I don't know.
This is how I.
This is.
I've got fight in me, like Itold you from the very beginning
.
Like you, have generations ofof trauma from this fight at the
(15:16):
whole thing.
Right, I'm fresh legs, like I.
I don't have generationaltrauma for this at all.
Like I grew up white upper,middle class male, I don't have
generational trauma to thatdegree of any kind, and so must
be nice.
I well, I have a full tank,essentially, and I'm not afraid
(15:41):
to communicate it and I'm notafraid to say how I feel, and I
never have been, even aboutthings that maybe I don't align
with anymore.
I was still very vocal about itwhen I felt passionately about
it.
But the thing is, I'm notafraid to speak what I feel is
true in a moment and reevaluate,if I have to, at some other
point.
Now, this, this notwithstanding, is something that is a
(16:05):
fundamental right versus wrongscenario to me.
There.
There's no gray area here, likethere are.
There are points in it that aregray, but but the, the over the
broad strokes of this is issimply, you know, the, the.
Just to borrow a phrase fromfrom Sam Harris, the.
The moral arithmetic here is isvery simple to me uh, where
(16:27):
people um should be aligned when, when it's existential like
this.
So it.
It really was a no brainer interms of initially, at first,
just supporting you and thenfinding my own kind of path
forward, because, you know, Ididn't jump in immediately, I
(16:47):
wasn't posting about it October8th, I was really kind of
learning on the fly of what wewere dealing with here, because
it was sort of like this is ithad been, however, many years
since the second intifada and Ihad no real frame of reference
for what was going on.
I didn't even have enough frameof reference to react to the
(17:07):
degree that the Jewish communitydid at first, because I didn't
get it right away, and so ittook some time for me to
understand the scale, tounderstand what was brewing
under the surface, what wasbeing thrown at the state of
Israel in real time, likecoordinated, like coordinated
tax style.
So you know that that was a nobrainer for me.
(17:28):
Ok, to go back to the beginning.
I didn't even think twice aboutyou being Jewish, like you were
Jewish with a daughter that waseight years old and I didn't
think twice about either of them.
It didn't, it's.
I don't want to say it didn'tmatter to me, but it didn't
(17:49):
matter.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Like I was committed to getting to know you and those
things were okay, cool, cool.
Like obviously I'll meet me atsome point, obviously I'll learn
some things about the jewishfaith and yeah and great see,
for me it was opposite.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
It was like, because, you know, I grew up in a, even
though, like I grew up in a verysecular family, like I and
again, and I joke about thisfrom from like age of two, like
literally from my childhood, mydad was like, if you ever marry
a non-Jewish man, I will shoothim and I will shoot you, and so
(18:26):
you hear this over and overagain and it's, like you know,
minor form of brainwashing, youknow, and I, again, I did not
grow up in a religious home.
Like we didn't do Shabbat, welike barely like we did the
holidays, but very like, relaxed, like you know, I think my
parents cared more about thecultural aspect of being Jewish
and and, yes, they come from along line of trauma, like both
(18:48):
of my parents, from both, likeyou know, different sides of the
you know, my Ashkenazi side andmy Sephardi side.
Trauma, you know, and uh, therewere there, and I understand
that need of of, of making moreJewish babies and and continuing
our, our DNA, our bloodline,you know, and I think they got
(19:08):
more relaxed, obviously after Ihad my divorce and I already had
Mia and you gave it a shot.
I gave it a shot.
You know my ex-husband isJewish and and I gave it a shot,
didn't work out.
And then, you know, it wasdivorce and you know, my parents
didn't really love all thepeople that are even Jewish guys
that like they didn't like themand they just loved Tony and
(19:30):
they didn't care that he wasn'tJewish, they just didn't care.
It was like the weirdestfucking thing ever.
Was like like, like it's, justlike they, they just like knew,
you know, like they, I don'tknow, I mean I guess parent
intuition, like, oh, like that'sthe guy you know and we'll,
we'll accept him not beingjewish and we'll, we'll just
(19:50):
bring him to israel and he'llfall in love and and then, and
that's what happened, you know,and you like, I'm so glad that
you had the opportunity ofseeing, seeing the country and
seeing what it, because a lot ofpeople don't know.
They don't know until they gothere and they understand.
They understand how beautifulit is and they understand, like,
what we're fighting for, we'refighting for our survival and
(20:10):
they understand that there's nofucking apartheid, that it's the
most welcoming and diversecountry in the Middle East, with
so much culture and people like, just love, you know, so so and
are so passionate about it.
You know, and you got a tasteof it.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, I have more than a taste of it.
I mean, you know, I've beenthere multiple times now and, um
, I have a mentor that talksabout.
You know, you go overseas andyou find, uh, you find a church
or a cathedral or a temple orwhatever and you walk in.
You can feel God in them, andthis is not across the board.
This is like some holy siteshave the energy of God, like a
(20:54):
top tier Christ consciousnesstype feeling, where it's just
like holy.
I feel it here, I feel thespirituality of this place.
That's how I felt in Israel asa whole.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Definitely when eating the hummus and the shuk.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Absolutely, but.
But you know what I mean.
Like I felt the spiritualnature of that place and I mean
you put the cherry on top ofNoah was conceived there.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Like that is the ultimate act of God.
Yeah, so I mean, yeah, it'shard to deny that and I find it
better to just not.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, it's hard to deny that and I find it better
to just not religious stuff, uh,post October 7th, because we do
live in America and we don'tlive in a, you know, very Jewish
area and it's important to toinstill these traditions and and
and.
The thing is, it gets new forme too, because I didn't really
(22:11):
grow up in that kind ofhousehold and I'm learning a ton
of stuff Like this year was thefirst time we celebrated to be
Shabbat.
You know what a cute fuckingholiday, adorable adorable yeah,
Like we we, we fasted on TishaB'Av, which was pretty hard and
but like we're we're, we'redoing it and we're doing it
together and it's been a greatexperience coming up on the high
(22:34):
season.
Yeah, yom Kippur is coming upsoon and we're doing all the way
.
Last year, I think, we did alittle coffee in the morning and
we drank water.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh yeah, I drink seltzer all day.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
This year we're doing dry fast and no devices and
nothing.
How are you supposed to do it?
You can't wrap your head aroundthat.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
No, it's fine.
I want to share some, so Iasked.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Here's some stories I asked, uh, some of my readers,
followers, listeners, for theirstories on, you know, interfaith
marriages and I had some reallyinteresting stories.
Uh, here's the first one.
Uh, my husband and I met about18 years ago, been married for
11.
I had no intention of beingserious with him because it
(23:20):
wasn't Jewish and that didn'tlast long and she had like a
funny, funny face when the D isgood man telling you Tony is
laughing in the background.
For years my grandfather calledhim my goy friend.
That's hilarious.
But my family really warmed upto him since he was really
attracted to the Jewish cultureand traditions as he grew up in
a very waspy family and was verydifferent.
(23:42):
My family hugs, kisses and isall up in your business.
Yeah, we love that.
We moved in together and Iembraced the important holidays
for him Christmas, and we talkedabout what we do when having a
family.
And the rest is history Twokids and a dog.
Later we celebrate bothChristmas and Hanukkah and the
best part was that when we gotmarried rabbi and priest his mom
, who is a priest, told us thatit didn't matter to her what we
(24:04):
believed in, that that she justwanted us to raise our family
with believing in something likeI want to cry.
That's so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
That is beautiful.
That is beautiful and also sucha great point in general.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Believe, like we call it different things.
Every religion has its ownsource, has its own, god has its
own, whatever, but it's alldifferent flavors of the same
thing.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
It's beautiful and she has a funny point and it
makes holidays like Christmas soeasy, because you don't argue
whose house you're going to.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah, it's the same.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
And she also said that she immigrated from the
former Soviet Union.
So Judaism was a big part of mylife, of her life growing up,
since her parents could neverpractice religion.
So we are so lucky we live in atime where you have the freedom
of religion.
You have the freedom ofreligion.
It's kind of crazy to thinkthere are times and places where
you don't have the freedom ofpracticing whatever religion you
(25:02):
believe in.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I never think about that.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
We still live in those times.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yes, I know I understand that.
Okay, somebody shared anotherside of the coin Definitely hard
.
I love my wife, but she doesn'tget it.
She didn't think there was sucha thing going on as
anti-Semitism when I met her in2014, I think slowly she was
getting it more, but October 7threally solidified it for her.
Supporting me has been tricky,though.
It's hard to describe tosomeone what exactly
(25:28):
anti-Semitism and what isn't,also me having very hard
reactions then.
My family has been difficult.
My parents and one of mybrothers definitely feel it, but
they are very much of the putyour head in the sand generation
and pretend it's not happening.
My other brother is on the samepage as me and very concerned
and was deeply affected.
It's been a learning processfor both of us and her
understanding how to support meand me trying to remember she
(25:50):
isn't Jewish, so it's hard toget some of it.
I actually use Tony as anexample of what I want her to be
like.
Lol, I don't think she'll begoing to protest or posting a
lot, but it definitely is goodfor her to see non-Jewish
partners being vocal andsupporting their Jewish partners
.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Okay, and that's that's another.
That's another big reason forme, right, is that I am capable
of doing it, and if, if peoplesee somebody like me doing it
full throatedly, then chancesare good that somebody else will
respond to that and be like,okay, I can pick up a sword too.
Now, what I will say is that Ido have the privilege of listen.
(26:29):
I work on a real estate teamwith an Israeli.
All of the people that I workwith, for the most part, are
Israeli, right, so I'm notrisking my job by speaking out.
A lot of people are, includingyou.
Know you, you would have some ofthe same concerns like you.
You still do, like who knowswhat, what people or clients of
(26:52):
yours believe and what theydon't believe.
But I don't, I don'm notrisking that.
Like, I don't have that concernwhere a lot of people you know
a lot of people have to answerto HR departments that might get
it wrong.
Like they might literally justtake something that you say and
use it against you.
Like, and I understand there issome, some concern there and
(27:14):
fear there.
So, like part of it is stickingyour head in the sand, and a
lot of it.
Most of it is self-preservation.
I do have empathy for peoplethat aren't invested in in the
fight but it would be hard likethat, would be like that it
would be.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I understand I think for me if you weren't supportive
and if you were like kind oflike pushing me along, okay,
let's get.
Let's enough talking about youknow what I mean.
Like, if you like incredibly itwould.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I feel like that would be a kind of a deal
breaker that would be, that thatwould be a problem, and I know
that, but I what I all I'msaying is I do have empathy for
where those people might see thepitfalls of of doing it and
where it's a little bit easierfor me.
Yeah, Also, I find that, likebeing a man and being loud about
it is way different than beinga woman and being loud about it.
(28:07):
It's true that is way differentRight.
Scarier is harder 1,000% and,like you said, I probably go
like 30% to 40% harder with theway I choose to use my words and
my voice and I get almost nopushback, almost none, yeah.
Whereas I'll post a video thathas nothing to do with anything
(28:30):
and I'll be called a genocider,baby killer yeah, and I've
noticed that from the prominentpro-palestinian activists,
especially local right, thatthey have a real knack for for
targeting the women.
Yeah, and really they're weakbitches, yeah so.
(28:50):
So all that to say is I as I get, that I get it to a degree.
Yes, It'd be incrediblydifficult in our relationship if
that was the case.
But also, I understand wherethey're, where they could be
coming from a little bit.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Here's another good one.
My husband is Catholic and I'mJewish.
I'm not super religious, butfelt connected to being Jewish
in Israel after birthright andultimately coming back to Israel
and doing an internship therefor seven months after undergrad
.
My husband never understood myconnection to Israel and how
special of a place it was.
I always talked about it and myexperiences there, my amazing
Israeli friends who wouldliterally do anything for me.
When I was there Two years ago,he was able to experience Israel
(29:22):
with me on an amazing programcalled Honeymoon Israel Guys
Google that shit.
My husband is not a crier atall.
He cried there because he wasovercome with emotion in front
of our whole group.
The trip brought us closertogether and he finally
understood this other part of me.
I'm so grateful we had thatexperience together because when
October 7th happened, he got it.
He understood why I was soangry and heartbroken and he
(29:43):
felt it with me.
Telling you, man, going toIsrael will change a person,
whether you're Jewish, not inJewish, like Muslim, any atheist
, whatever you believe in, like,it is a welcoming place for all
uh religions and all beliefs.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Did you see the NBA player that went over the
Israeli?
Pat Beverly and his interviewwhere he's just talking about
like it's absolute paradise inevery aspect, from the people to
the food, to the beaches, tothe sunsets the way that he
spoke about it, like I was likeyeah, yeah, that's exactly how I
(30:21):
would describe it.
Yeah, just pink skies but.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
But the every but.
Imagine every border around youwants to kill you.
Yeah, it's like a heaven andhell, like all wrapped in one Um
, interfaith marriage here.
My husband's not religious sowe celebrate Christmas with his
family.
My son ceased to be identifyingas Jewish, but I think that's
(30:44):
just because I talked about itmore.
I'm not religious either, butvery cultural.
We celebrate a lot of Jewishholidays with family.
I bake challah at least once ortwice a month.
We light candles on Friday andsay Shabbat Shalom to celebrate
Shabbat.
I think being interfaithmarriage with a child who you
want to identify as Jewish whenhe grows up means that you need
to make a point to do Jewishthings.
Both of my parents are Jewishand so I was just Jewish.
There was no other influenceWith my son.
(31:06):
I need to be intentional aboutour Judaism so he embraces it.
My husband is supportive of itall.
I think if I wanted to join asynagogue he would have thoughts
about it, but not because it'sthe Jewish house of prayer, but
because it's a house of prayerand we don't really pray, he
wouldn't want to join a church.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Yeah, I mean we are part of a congregation, we have
we have gone further than justjust doing shabbat although we
do shabbat now almost withoutfail, unless there's extenuating
circumstances.
But I mean we do the prayerslike I need to learn them better
(31:45):
so that I can do them, but likepraying, praying is a good
thing, it's nice, praying is agood thing, like I understand,
like I understand, like being inand out of religion my whole
life and leaning further in andthen backing away and at one
point considering myself anatheist.
And now we're getting, you know, we're leaning into the
(32:06):
spiritual aspect of judaism muchharder.
You know, after everythingthat's happened and you know the
community that's cultivatedaround this.
But I mean, prayer is powerfuland you don't have to like you
don't have to call it prayer, tosend prayer right.
It's really channeling energywith intention to a source
(32:28):
greater than yourself, justbelieving that there is a power
that unites us all and guides usall in divine timing that you
can surrender to, which is whatI believe.
It's what I believe inside ofJudaism, it's what I believe
outside of Judaism, it's what Ibelieved before we met.
So there is always a spiritualthread through my line of
(32:50):
thinking regardless of thereligious aspect.
And now it's exploring thatthread through my line of
thinking, regardless of thereligious aspect.
And now it's it's exploringthat thread through the lens of
judaism, for me, which isbeautiful, that is beautiful,
wow.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Nothing to say to that, just listening to you,
okay.
Last story this is no jews inthis one.
I'm Catholic and husband Sorry,I am Catholic and husband A B
is Hindu.
We both believe in God in someform or another.
We both believe that religionhelps you find community, helps
you find faith and understandthat something is bigger than
(33:24):
yourself.
Literally what you just saidhelps you understand life and
where you have come from and canteach you how to live a good
life and be a good person.
In the beginning it started outas a general openness to each
other's cultures and beliefs.
My family didn't have a hardtime accepting him and my
husband's family welcomed me andmy family as well, even though
wanting to marry a non-HinduAmerican was not necessarily
what they expected from him.
(33:44):
When we got married in India, Iwas exposed to many Hindu
worship puja ceremonies.
They're very beautiful.
A lot of really beautiful songsand chanting in Hindi or
whatever the local languages,and in Sanskrit.
After marriage we moved toJersey city and we started
celebrating both traditions.
My husband loves to decoratethe Christmas tree and I love to
decorate the house of Diwali,the Hindu festival of light,
(34:06):
celebrating good over evil.
My husband helps build aChristmas dinner menu and I tell
him what I want for dinner onDiwali.
It works for us.
Nowadays we go together toCatholic church and Hindu temple
and bring our son Avere.
There are different templesdevoted to different gods, so
depending on the occasion orfestival, we pick whichever is
most appropriate.
The Hindu festivals don't fallon the same days every year, so
(34:27):
each year I look up the calendar, put all the festival and my
Google well she's like organized.
Share with my husband and makesure I know what they're all
about.
We don't celebrate everyfestival and some festivals are
very regionally specific, so wecelebrate what's important to
him.
I love going to temple and findit always great place for me to
pray.
The peace, the chanting, themusic, the smell of incense it's
very centering.
My husband prays in his way andI pray in mine.
(34:48):
We both respect each other'sway.
My husband asked me aboutCatholicism, like what does the
Holy Trinity mean, and I askedabout his faith and the stories
about the Hindu gods andgoddesses.
What I love about Hinduism isthat they make worship open to
anybody who happens to be there,and their gods and goddesses
have many virtues and also haveflaws.
What a great way to think ofhumanity right.
What I like about my currentCatholic church is how accepting
(35:10):
they've been on my interfaithfamily.
We were open that my husband isHindu and that we intend to
raise our son both Catholic andHindu.
I want my son to see thetraditions his family has
participated in for generationsand how, even on their face,
they may look very different,Deep down their teachings are
very similar.
My extended family loves to seepujas worship and his mom wants
to come to church with me whenshe visits and when my
(35:32):
mother-in-law visits.
She prays every day in a spacewe set up for worship in our
house with little statues ofgods and goddesses, and I'm
totally good with that.
That's part of her life andit's a great way to expose my
son to what Pooja is.
I'll be my husband.
I take what we like from bothfaiths and bring it to our home.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
That's beautiful sharing that, yeah, that that is
, oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
And based on what I've seen for hindu celebrations
.
Some of that yeah is lit.
Yeah, and you know what?
Like when tony and I starteddating, literally two months
after we started dating, I waslike that does like, because
we're dating, does that mean Ican get a christmas tree?
Speaker 2 (36:05):
and we got a christmas tree we did, and it
was like so fun.
And not only did we get achristmas tree, we surprised mia
with a christmas tree.
That was one of my.
I still have a video of it andit was like so fun.
And not only do we get aChristmas tree, we surprised Mia
with a Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
That was one of my still have a video of it and it
was like she was like it wasMia's first Christmas tree, like
you know.
You know I was single mom, Ididn't, you know, I wasn't going
to get her Christmas tree,there was no reason, and that
was the first time we celebratedChristmas and, like a few weeks
(36:35):
later, I loved it and I lovethat we get to do that every
year and we buy a tree everyyear.
It's like, yeah, we're gettinga tree and yes, I am 100% a
Jewish woman and although, likeI, we went to church and I was
kind of on the fence on that,one Listen.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
we dabble in all the things and see what works.
Honestly, it's simply aboutwhat works for everyone.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Can we answer Claire Hazan's FaceTime?
Okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Okay, hell yeah, hello Hello.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Okay, hello, okay, I'm only getting it tomorrow
morning, though.
We're recording a podcast, momnow.
Okay, beseda, I love you.
Bye, I can't not answer mymom's phone.
(37:29):
I'm sorry.
I know you were like what thefuck?
Why are you asking?
Because I know if she's callingme now, it's important.
I've got to answer my mom'sphone.
I'm sorry.
I know you were like what thefuck?
Why are you asking?
Because I know if she's callingme now, it's important.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I've got to answer my mom's.
You have to answer your mom's.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
But it was because we're making jamin, so she's
like asked me to.
We need to soak the chickpeasthe night before.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Well that's tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
On that note, this note.
This was a great episode.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
I feel like we were on to something and we were
tugging at a thread and I can'tremember.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Oh my christmas, we're tugging at a thread.
The one thing I wanted to sayis that, like the perfect
representation about how we've,how we've, integrated each
other's traditions into into ourlives, is like we set up a
christmas tree every year with astar of david on top of it yeah
, it is the most jewishchristmas.
Christmas tree.
It is just so symbolic.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
We have, like the rabbi on the shelf or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
No, we have the mensch on a bench.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Oh the mensch on a bench, okay, and Elf on the
shelf.
Yes, we have both yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
We have both, but the lid's been blown off of the Elf
on the shelf to wait tillnoah's yeah ready for it.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, I'm kind of happy about that it was a lot of
work.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
It's a lot of work.
That was a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, that was one that yeah okay, let's not talk
about the holidays, it's givingme anxiety it's, it'll be fine
we should record.
No, we should record on, likeafter we break the yom kippur,
like fast, like, like eat.
While we record, I'm gonna bein a coma from eating after that
.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
So yeah, we can try.
I think we should.
You know what we should?
Hanger record the last hour.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
No, we can't use technology, babe.
There's no technology, we aregoing off the grid we are not
watching tv, we are not usingour phones like nobody can reach
us exactly that's.
We have to do it the right way.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
No more half-assing it.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
That's why I sent you a calendar invite, so you
wouldn't go to work.
How?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
far in advance.
Do you think I look at my?
Speaker 1 (39:19):
calendar.
I'm going to tell my clients,sorry, not available.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Daniel, if you listen to this podcast, I'm not
working on Yom Kippur, hedoesn't.
He doesn't listen.
I don't know if he knows what apodcast is, he does.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Can you just let him know now?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Like right now.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
And also well.
First it's Rosh Hashanah.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I understand.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
And Rosh Hashanah.
You know you're not supposed towork on Rosh Hashanah either.
It's New Year.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Listen, twist my arm.
I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Okay, unless you really are going, then you can
go let's see.
Hashem will forgive.
Okay, on that note, this wasthe Lynn and Tony no podcast.
Yes, I'm in a bra.
I am mentally okay, um yeahcatch you next week.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Next week, next week, yeah, but it doesn't matter,
doesn't matter what week.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I say it is, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
See you next time peace, it doesn't matter.
See you next time.
Peace, ladies and gentlemen,peace, thank you.
Hey, welcome to the Lynn and Tony Know podcast.
I'm your host, Lynn.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And I'm Tony.
We are both wellness coachesand married with kids.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Join us as we talk about all things health,
wellness, relationships, lifehacks, parenting and everything
in between, unfiltered.
Thanks for listening and let'sget into it.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Solo episode.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Solo dolo.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I wanted to start the episode with a question that
has nothing to do.
Well, I guess it does havesomething to do with today's
episode.
Okay, but somebody asked how doyou guys handle conflicts?
You seem to have it all figuredout.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah , yeah.
Okay, you want me to give?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
me a long leash.
No, you, you got it.
You got this Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay.
Okay, number one we do not haveit all figured out.
Okay, I want to start there andbe very clear that we do not
have it all figured out.
What we do have is someawareness of when conflict comes
up for us, of some of theground rules.
Right, we have pretty wellestablished boundaries that
(01:12):
aren't always honored, I wouldsay.
I mean, you know we're notperfect, but we do have a very
fundamental way of disagreeingor of dealing with friction, and
I don't know necessarily how toexpand on it beyond that.
(01:33):
But typically, here's whathappens is, if we have a moment
of contention and I will saythey're rare, it's not that
often but when it does happen,all it really takes is for one
person to stop taking itpersonally and it dissipates
pretty quickly.
I don't keep score of who'sdoing what, when and how many
(01:54):
times it's been me or you, buttypically one of us finds the
defuse button and hits it andthat's it.
We de-escalate pretty quickly.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
We have not generally drug anything out past a couple
hours I think the key is totalk about things when they come
up.
So there's two, two aspects.
There's talking about thingswhen it comes up like this, you
know and, and focusing on likehow you feel, as opposed to like
you, you, you it's like okay,this make I feel a little this,
(02:28):
or I feel a little frustrated orfeel a little resentful or
whatever you're feeling andsharing that.
So there's that aspect ofbringing it up right away
instead of like letting it kindof like fester.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
But then there's another aspect of, yes, picking
your battles.
Is this worth what I mean?
Yeah.
But then there's another aspectof, yes, picking your battles.
Is this worth?
Like you know, is my husband ormy partner a human being and
you know, can I just like letthis one go, like you know?
You know what I mean.
Like, oh, there's a dish in theyou know like, like, like,
there's certain things that youcan let go.
It's kind of like a it is apick your battle type thing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Okay, you just jarred loose a couple things for me
there, right?
What was the first thing thatyou said?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
The number one was Bringing it up and not letting
it fester.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
The other thing that I've developed a pretty good
awareness for and it's not evenjust awareness, it's having the
balls to say something is I'll,I know when you're letting it
build up, right.
And there's a version of mewell before this that would have
noticed and been like ah okay,she's not there yet and I don't
(03:37):
really feel like picking on it,so we'll just leave it alone,
even though that'scounterproductive to what I
ultimately want, which is peaceand love and the relationship.
So I there's a version of methat would just let it go.
And I noticed and it's likeokay, well, if she's not
bringing it up, then I'm notgoing to say anything, but now
I'll dig a little, I'll, I'lldraw it out If you're not
willing in that moment to gothere.
(03:57):
Sometimes I need a littlesometimes and it's not not that
often, but I will draw it out ifI feel like it's there, and
sometimes it's not you,sometimes I'm just in a poop
mood.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Of course, today I'm PMSing.
Of course, the reason why I'msitting here in a bra is because
I had a cute outfit on todayand then I was hungry at like
10.30 am and I sat down and atesushi and got soy sauce all over
myself and changed into a shirtthat was like thicker and I was
like sweating and I just likecame home and I you know two
(04:30):
kids, like a whole, a full daywith two kids.
Like you start the day lookingfeeling fresh, feeling good the
end of the day like I need ashower, like I'm disgusting
right now to be fair, today'scatastrophe had nothing to do
with the kids.
It did not no.
It's all about me, it's all me.
Okay.
So sorry, I went on a tangent.
(04:51):
That's a perfect segue.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's a perfect tangent into my next point,
which was piggybacking off whatyou said, which was pick your
battles.
Okay, and so how I've reframedthis part of it is not really
picking your battles, it's moreor less redefining what a battle
is right.
So you talk about the sink orthe dishes or whatever right.
(05:13):
There is a part of me thatwants to just pull my hair out
sometimes by the way that youstack the dishwasher, and we've
talked about this.
Like I like everything verylined up in the same spot.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I've gotten better at it though.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Sure and honestly it's whatever.
I don't care, because when Isee the dishwasher stacked like
that, I think about the day thatyou're having.
Likely that led you to not careabout which way the dishes went
into the dishwasher Right.
So it's not even about pickingthe battles.
For me it's looking at thethings and going I love this
(05:49):
person so much and if I'm in aposition where I love somebody
that much, then I must be ableto assume that at all times they
are giving the maximum effortin pretty much whatever they're
doing, and if they're not, thenthere's a really good reason as
to why.
So I default to the reasons whyit might be that way, and what
kind of day you had, or whatkind of things are on your mind
(06:11):
or that you have in your brain,and how much little you must
have left over to care aboutwhether or not the dishwasher is
perfect, literally like never.
Right, and so I frame thosetypes of things in that way.
So it's not about picking thebattle.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
It's about like this isn't a battle at all, but you
mentioning it to me, I do try tomake an effort to be better at
it.
You know what I mean.
Sometimes I'm good.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
But it's not a threat .
I'm going to pull at.
I'm not going to like.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And the thing is, some couples will fight about
the little shit is becausethere's something underneath
that's not addressed.
You know what I mean.
So we don't fight about thelittle shit that much because we
address the stuff that'sunderneath.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, and the overarching thing that threads
any any kind of triggering thatyou have, any kind of polarity
that you have with with anybody,whether it's the person that
you love or or a stranger on thestreet the people that you love
have a much better probabilityof triggering you than anybody
else because you let them closerand that's just how it is.
(07:11):
But ultimately and people gettired of hearing this likely
because they refuse to accept itis that it's simply reflecting
back something in some part ofyou that you haven't gotten with
, that you haven't accepted, andthat's always running in the
background.
For me, if I get, if I get woundup, if I get wound up about
something in somebody else, thenthen fuck, it's probably time
(07:33):
for me to look at what thatmeans for me.
So that's, that's kind ofalways just software that's
running in the in the back.
That program's always runningfor me, so I can usually make it
about.
In this case, make it about me,right, like if there's
something that even smells likea conflict or smells like a
battle.
It's probably a battle that Ijust haven't had with myself yet
(07:53):
and need to go there and figureit out.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So, yeah, I mean, we don't have it all figured out,
but you know, we, yeah, we do apretty good job communicating
and it's not always like perfect, but like we put put a lot of
attention, like yeah, like youknow it's cliche, but like yeah,
like having a happy marriage,you have to work at it, but we
don't look at it as like hardwork or shitty work.
(08:16):
It's like no, we want to workat it because we, we love each
other very much and we have anamazing relationship and it's,
you know, it's worth it, likehaving hard discussions and and
sometimes we handle it great andwe have an amazing relationship
and it's you know, it's worthit.
Like having hard discussions andsometimes we handle it great
and we snap out of it and youknow everything's fine.
And then some other days, likewe were like okay, that, like we
need to work on this.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, and we have a pretty well-defined set of
topics that if if we're notresourced enough to have the
conversations, then we're notgoing to have them.
I'm not going to have a toughconversation at 50% or she's at
50% yesterday at 11 PM.
Yeah, I mean that was you had tovent a little bit and that was
literally the first time you'dseen me all day, so that that
that was fair game and Iunderstood that.
(08:55):
I understood that, yes, there'salways going to be a part of me
that wells up with the versionsof me that came before that go.
Do we really have to fuckinghave this conversation right now
?
But I have the ability to saynot today.
Take a seat.
This is adult.
Tony is in the driver's seat,so I understand that this is the
first time she's seen me allday.
Yes, would I like to go tosleep, of course, but if she
(09:16):
doesn't get this out now, it'scoming up tomorrow or the next
day or the next day.
So I have an awareness aroundsome of this stuff, stuff, but
the.
But the versions of me thatweren't like that are still
there like they still exist.
Yeah, you don't just get rid ofthem.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, you just, you just tell them it's okay so the
the long story short, we don'thave it all.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I'm kidding, no, but it's true yeah, of course we
don't have it all figured out,but like those are, those are
the.
That's the the quickest, mostcliff note version of it.
I, I think I can, I think wecould come to so speaking of
conflict and things like that.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
today's topic and we're talking about interfaith
marriages- this is such a cooltopic.
And the reason I I wanted totalk about this is because,
especially in the last year,I've been getting a lot of
messages from people who followme who aren't, uh, interfaith
marriages, specifically Jewishpeople and non, non Jewish
(10:08):
people, and some, you know,discussing, like, the challenges
that they're having, feelinglike they're, you know, not
understood or not supported andand yeah, and that's why I
wanted to talk about it, becauseit's been clearly a hard year
we're not going to only focus onthe Jewish, not Jewish aspect.
(10:30):
I think it applies to allinterfaith marriages.
There's it comes withchallenges and cultural
differences.
But post October 7th, like I, Ijoke around with Tony.
It's not really a funny joke,but it's kind of funny in a way
it's kind of funny.
It's kind of funny.
I joke around that, Like youknow, I think even Tony brought
it up.
Tony's brought it up.
He's like you know, I'm so gladthat, like we got married and
(10:52):
had a baby pre October 7th,cause there's like no way you
would date me.
And he's absolutely right, yeah, because you know, post October
7th there's no chance that Iwould date somebody out of the
faith.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
I think about it all the time, like what it must be
like for single Jewish people todate right now, especially
women.
Yeah, like putting yourself outthere in the dating world as a
woman is that's kind of a scaryproposition.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And it feels unsafe as it is.
So tack on being Jewish andalso believing in Israel's right
to exist, or like the dirtyword that they've made it to be,
being a Zionist.
You know which is a in my.
I'm a proud Zionist and I'm,you know, happy to say it.
But and just in you know, like,like you, you know, people have
(11:43):
shared like screenshots fromlike Hinge and Tinder, like it's
just like no Zionist or freePalestine, and it just like,
yeah, you, you, you, we, we jokeabout it, but it's, it's true.
I think that if I were to besingle, I would probably, you
know, date only Jewish people,or probably go to Israel and
find like a reservist and reallylike give back to my country.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You don't have to like game it out too far.
This is a hypothetical thatdoesn't have to be like tapped
too deep into.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I don't think it's funny, though, um, but thanks,
thankfully for me, not only hasTony been incredibly supportive,
he's, he's also.
He's in this with me, Like.
He is like I don't know if youguys follow him on Instagram,
but he, he goes more hard on onlike than me in some days and
he's taken the time to educatehimself.
(12:36):
He walks around with with theuh, you know, Nova dog tags and
a star of David.
He, he's been very active andhe's, you know, been helping the
local community and just likereally getting involved and and
and also like listening andlearning and taking the time to,
to, to learn our history andand and really, and I think part
(12:57):
of it is, you know, I thinkfrom the beginning, when we
started dating, I said like.
I said like I want our kids tobe Jewish, Like you know what I
mean.
Like it was kind of clear like,OK, our kids are going to be
Jewish, and he was fine withthat.
And you know, we went to Israeltwice and you fell in love with
the country.
So I think all those thingsimpacted him and just
(13:21):
understanding, like, what it'slike having Jewish kids, and I
think that's motivated you.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, I mean, like you said, interfaith marriages
are something, that this topicgoes well beyond the Jewish,
non-jewish, obviously.
But what's interesting is howmuch October 7th has exacerbated
the issue for Jewish non-Jewishinterfaith marriages,
(13:51):
particularly for ones that youknow the partner that's not
Jewish maybe doesn't understandor is unwilling to understand,
or you know it's uncomfortableto a degree where they check out
, I think, would be the the bestway to put it.
And for me it's simply you know, I've I've said this to you
(14:15):
before.
I go back to our vows,literally like when, when we set
our wedding vows, like I meantit through good times and bad,
through sickness and then health, like through the polar
extremes of the human experience.
That's what I signed up for.
So for me it's like this iswhat I signed up for, like I
(14:36):
don't get it.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
But you go above, you go beyond the just supporting,
you go, you're, you're like,you're in the fight, You're.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
I guess you know, like you're coming with me to
protest.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You're encouraging me to go to protest, You're you
know what I'm saying?
Like all these things is aboveand beyond.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, and I hear you and you know, on a level I
understand what you mean by that, but to me it's I don't know.
This is how I.
This is.
I've got fight in me, like Itold you from the very beginning
.
Like you, have generations ofof trauma from this fight at the
(15:16):
whole thing.
Right, I'm fresh legs, like I.
I don't have generationaltrauma for this at all.
Like I grew up white upper,middle class male, I don't have
generational trauma to thatdegree of any kind, and so must
be nice.
I well, I have a full tank,essentially, and I'm not afraid
(15:41):
to communicate it and I'm notafraid to say how I feel, and I
never have been, even aboutthings that maybe I don't align
with anymore.
I was still very vocal about itwhen I felt passionately about
it.
But the thing is, I'm notafraid to speak what I feel is
true in a moment and reevaluate,if I have to, at some other
point.
Now, this, this notwithstanding, is something that is a
(16:05):
fundamental right versus wrongscenario to me.
There.
There's no gray area here, likethere are.
There are points in it that aregray, but but the, the over the
broad strokes of this is issimply, you know, the, the.
Just to borrow a phrase fromfrom Sam Harris, the.
The moral arithmetic here is isvery simple to me uh, where
(16:27):
people um should be aligned when, when it's existential like
this.
So it.
It really was a no brainer interms of initially, at first,
just supporting you and thenfinding my own kind of path
forward, because, you know, Ididn't jump in immediately, I
(16:47):
wasn't posting about it October8th, I was really kind of
learning on the fly of what wewere dealing with here, because
it was sort of like this is ithad been, however, many years
since the second intifada and Ihad no real frame of reference
for what was going on.
I didn't even have enough frameof reference to react to the
(17:07):
degree that the Jewish communitydid at first, because I didn't
get it right away, and so ittook some time for me to
understand the scale, tounderstand what was brewing
under the surface, what wasbeing thrown at the state of
Israel in real time, likecoordinated, like coordinated
tax style.
So you know that that was a nobrainer for me.
(17:28):
Ok, to go back to the beginning.
I didn't even think twice aboutyou being Jewish, like you were
Jewish with a daughter that waseight years old and I didn't
think twice about either of them.
It didn't, it's.
I don't want to say it didn'tmatter to me, but it didn't
(17:49):
matter.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Like I was committed to getting to know you and those
things were okay, cool, cool.
Like obviously I'll meet me atsome point, obviously I'll learn
some things about the jewishfaith and yeah and great see,
for me it was opposite.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
It was like, because, you know, I grew up in a, even
though, like I grew up in a verysecular family, like I and
again, and I joke about thisfrom from like age of two, like
literally from my childhood, mydad was like, if you ever marry
a non-Jewish man, I will shoothim and I will shoot you, and so
(18:26):
you hear this over and overagain and it's, like you know,
minor form of brainwashing, youknow, and I, again, I did not
grow up in a religious home.
Like we didn't do Shabbat, welike barely like we did the
holidays, but very like, relaxed, like you know, I think my
parents cared more about thecultural aspect of being Jewish
and and, yes, they come from along line of trauma, like both
(18:48):
of my parents, from both, likeyou know, different sides of the
you know, my Ashkenazi side andmy Sephardi side.
Trauma, you know, and uh, therewere there, and I understand
that need of of, of making moreJewish babies and and continuing
our, our DNA, our bloodline,you know, and I think they got
(19:08):
more relaxed, obviously after Ihad my divorce and I already had
Mia and you gave it a shot.
I gave it a shot.
You know my ex-husband isJewish and and I gave it a shot,
didn't work out.
And then, you know, it wasdivorce and you know, my parents
didn't really love all thepeople that are even Jewish guys
that like they didn't like themand they just loved Tony and
(19:30):
they didn't care that he wasn'tJewish, they just didn't care.
It was like the weirdestfucking thing ever.
Was like like, like it's, justlike they, they just like knew,
you know, like they, I don'tknow, I mean I guess parent
intuition, like, oh, like that'sthe guy you know and we'll,
we'll accept him not beingjewish and we'll, we'll just
(19:50):
bring him to israel and he'llfall in love and and then, and
that's what happened, you know,and you like, I'm so glad that
you had the opportunity ofseeing, seeing the country and
seeing what it, because a lot ofpeople don't know.
They don't know until they gothere and they understand.
They understand how beautifulit is and they understand, like,
what we're fighting for, we'refighting for our survival and
(20:10):
they understand that there's nofucking apartheid, that it's the
most welcoming and diversecountry in the Middle East, with
so much culture and people like, just love, you know, so so and
are so passionate about it.
You know, and you got a tasteof it.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, I have more than a taste of it.
I mean, you know, I've beenthere multiple times now and, um
, I have a mentor that talksabout.
You know, you go overseas andyou find, uh, you find a church
or a cathedral or a temple orwhatever and you walk in.
You can feel God in them, andthis is not across the board.
This is like some holy siteshave the energy of God, like a
(20:54):
top tier Christ consciousnesstype feeling, where it's just
like holy.
I feel it here, I feel thespirituality of this place.
That's how I felt in Israel asa whole.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Definitely when eating the hummus and the shuk.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Absolutely, but.
But you know what I mean.
Like I felt the spiritualnature of that place and I mean
you put the cherry on top ofNoah was conceived there.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Like that is the ultimate act of God.
Yeah, so I mean, yeah, it'shard to deny that and I find it
better to just not.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, it's hard to deny that and I find it better
to just not religious stuff, uh,post October 7th, because we do
live in America and we don'tlive in a, you know, very Jewish
area and it's important to toinstill these traditions and and
and.
The thing is, it gets new forme too, because I didn't really
(22:11):
grow up in that kind ofhousehold and I'm learning a ton
of stuff Like this year was thefirst time we celebrated to be
Shabbat.
You know what a cute fuckingholiday, adorable adorable yeah,
Like we we, we fasted on TishaB'Av, which was pretty hard and
but like we're we're, we'redoing it and we're doing it
together and it's been a greatexperience coming up on the high
(22:34):
season.
Yeah, yom Kippur is coming upsoon and we're doing all the way
.
Last year, I think, we did alittle coffee in the morning and
we drank water.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh yeah, I drink seltzer all day.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
This year we're doing dry fast and no devices and
nothing.
How are you supposed to do it?
You can't wrap your head aroundthat.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
No, it's fine.
I want to share some, so Iasked.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Here's some stories I asked, uh, some of my readers,
followers, listeners, for theirstories on, you know, interfaith
marriages and I had some reallyinteresting stories.
Uh, here's the first one.
Uh, my husband and I met about18 years ago, been married for
11.
I had no intention of beingserious with him because it
(23:20):
wasn't Jewish and that didn'tlast long and she had like a
funny, funny face when the D isgood man telling you Tony is
laughing in the background.
For years my grandfather calledhim my goy friend.
That's hilarious.
But my family really warmed upto him since he was really
attracted to the Jewish cultureand traditions as he grew up in
a very waspy family and was verydifferent.
(23:42):
My family hugs, kisses and isall up in your business.
Yeah, we love that.
We moved in together and Iembraced the important holidays
for him Christmas, and we talkedabout what we do when having a
family.
And the rest is history Twokids and a dog.
Later we celebrate bothChristmas and Hanukkah and the
best part was that when we gotmarried rabbi and priest his mom
, who is a priest, told us thatit didn't matter to her what we
(24:04):
believed in, that that she justwanted us to raise our family
with believing in something likeI want to cry.
That's so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
That is beautiful.
That is beautiful and also sucha great point in general.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Believe, like we call it different things.
Every religion has its ownsource, has its own, god has its
own, whatever, but it's alldifferent flavors of the same
thing.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
It's beautiful and she has a funny point and it
makes holidays like Christmas soeasy, because you don't argue
whose house you're going to.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah, it's the same.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
And she also said that she immigrated from the
former Soviet Union.
So Judaism was a big part of mylife, of her life growing up,
since her parents could neverpractice religion.
So we are so lucky we live in atime where you have the freedom
of religion.
You have the freedom ofreligion.
It's kind of crazy to thinkthere are times and places where
you don't have the freedom ofpracticing whatever religion you
(25:02):
believe in.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I never think about that.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
We still live in those times.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yes, I know I understand that.
Okay, somebody shared anotherside of the coin Definitely hard
.
I love my wife, but she doesn'tget it.
She didn't think there was sucha thing going on as
anti-Semitism when I met her in2014, I think slowly she was
getting it more, but October 7threally solidified it for her.
Supporting me has been tricky,though.
It's hard to describe tosomeone what exactly
(25:28):
anti-Semitism and what isn't,also me having very hard
reactions then.
My family has been difficult.
My parents and one of mybrothers definitely feel it, but
they are very much of the putyour head in the sand generation
and pretend it's not happening.
My other brother is on the samepage as me and very concerned
and was deeply affected.
It's been a learning processfor both of us and her
understanding how to support meand me trying to remember she
(25:50):
isn't Jewish, so it's hard toget some of it.
I actually use Tony as anexample of what I want her to be
like.
Lol, I don't think she'll begoing to protest or posting a
lot, but it definitely is goodfor her to see non-Jewish
partners being vocal andsupporting their Jewish partners
.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Okay, and that's that's another.
That's another big reason forme, right, is that I am capable
of doing it, and if, if peoplesee somebody like me doing it
full throatedly, then chancesare good that somebody else will
respond to that and be like,okay, I can pick up a sword too.
Now, what I will say is that Ido have the privilege of listen.
(26:29):
I work on a real estate teamwith an Israeli.
All of the people that I workwith, for the most part, are
Israeli, right, so I'm notrisking my job by speaking out.
A lot of people are, includingyou.
Know you, you would have some ofthe same concerns like you.
You still do, like who knowswhat, what people or clients of
(26:52):
yours believe and what theydon't believe.
But I don't, I don'm notrisking that.
Like, I don't have that concernwhere a lot of people you know
a lot of people have to answerto HR departments that might get
it wrong.
Like they might literally justtake something that you say and
use it against you.
Like, and I understand there issome, some concern there and
(27:14):
fear there.
So, like part of it is stickingyour head in the sand, and a
lot of it.
Most of it is self-preservation.
I do have empathy for peoplethat aren't invested in in the
fight but it would be hard likethat, would be like that it
would be.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I understand I think for me if you weren't supportive
and if you were like kind oflike pushing me along, okay,
let's get.
Let's enough talking about youknow what I mean.
Like, if you like incredibly itwould.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I feel like that would be a kind of a deal
breaker that would be, that thatwould be a problem, and I know
that, but I what I all I'msaying is I do have empathy for
where those people might see thepitfalls of of doing it and
where it's a little bit easierfor me.
Yeah, Also, I find that, likebeing a man and being loud about
it is way different than beinga woman and being loud about it.
(28:07):
It's true that is way differentRight.
Scarier is harder 1,000% and,like you said, I probably go
like 30% to 40% harder with theway I choose to use my words and
my voice and I get almost nopushback, almost none, yeah.
Whereas I'll post a video thathas nothing to do with anything
(28:30):
and I'll be called a genocider,baby killer yeah, and I've
noticed that from the prominentpro-palestinian activists,
especially local right, thatthey have a real knack for for
targeting the women.
Yeah, and really they're weakbitches, yeah so.
(28:50):
So all that to say is I as I get, that I get it to a degree.
Yes, It'd be incrediblydifficult in our relationship if
that was the case.
But also, I understand wherethey're, where they could be
coming from a little bit.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Here's another good one.
My husband is Catholic and I'mJewish.
I'm not super religious, butfelt connected to being Jewish
in Israel after birthright andultimately coming back to Israel
and doing an internship therefor seven months after undergrad
.
My husband never understood myconnection to Israel and how
special of a place it was.
I always talked about it and myexperiences there, my amazing
Israeli friends who wouldliterally do anything for me.
When I was there Two years ago,he was able to experience Israel
(29:22):
with me on an amazing programcalled Honeymoon Israel Guys
Google that shit.
My husband is not a crier atall.
He cried there because he wasovercome with emotion in front
of our whole group.
The trip brought us closertogether and he finally
understood this other part of me.
I'm so grateful we had thatexperience together because when
October 7th happened, he got it.
He understood why I was soangry and heartbroken and he
(29:43):
felt it with me.
Telling you, man, going toIsrael will change a person,
whether you're Jewish, not inJewish, like Muslim, any atheist
, whatever you believe in, like,it is a welcoming place for all
uh religions and all beliefs.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Did you see the NBA player that went over the
Israeli?
Pat Beverly and his interviewwhere he's just talking about
like it's absolute paradise inevery aspect, from the people to
the food, to the beaches, tothe sunsets the way that he
spoke about it, like I was likeyeah, yeah, that's exactly how I
(30:21):
would describe it.
Yeah, just pink skies but.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
But the every but.
Imagine every border around youwants to kill you.
Yeah, it's like a heaven andhell, like all wrapped in one Um
, interfaith marriage here.
My husband's not religious sowe celebrate Christmas with his
family.
My son ceased to be identifyingas Jewish, but I think that's
(30:44):
just because I talked about itmore.
I'm not religious either, butvery cultural.
We celebrate a lot of Jewishholidays with family.
I bake challah at least once ortwice a month.
We light candles on Friday andsay Shabbat Shalom to celebrate
Shabbat.
I think being interfaithmarriage with a child who you
want to identify as Jewish whenhe grows up means that you need
to make a point to do Jewishthings.
Both of my parents are Jewishand so I was just Jewish.
There was no other influenceWith my son.
(31:06):
I need to be intentional aboutour Judaism so he embraces it.
My husband is supportive of itall.
I think if I wanted to join asynagogue he would have thoughts
about it, but not because it'sthe Jewish house of prayer, but
because it's a house of prayerand we don't really pray, he
wouldn't want to join a church.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Yeah, I mean we are part of a congregation, we have
we have gone further than justjust doing shabbat although we
do shabbat now almost withoutfail, unless there's extenuating
circumstances.
But I mean we do the prayerslike I need to learn them better
(31:45):
so that I can do them, but likepraying, praying is a good
thing, it's nice, praying is agood thing, like I understand,
like I understand, like being inand out of religion my whole
life and leaning further in andthen backing away and at one
point considering myself anatheist.
And now we're getting, you know, we're leaning into the
(32:06):
spiritual aspect of judaism muchharder.
You know, after everythingthat's happened and you know the
community that's cultivatedaround this.
But I mean, prayer is powerfuland you don't have to like you
don't have to call it prayer, tosend prayer right.
It's really channeling energywith intention to a source
(32:28):
greater than yourself, justbelieving that there is a power
that unites us all and guides usall in divine timing that you
can surrender to, which is whatI believe.
It's what I believe inside ofJudaism, it's what I believe
outside of Judaism, it's what Ibelieved before we met.
So there is always a spiritualthread through my line of
(32:50):
thinking regardless of thereligious aspect.
And now it's exploring thatthread through my line of
thinking, regardless of thereligious aspect.
And now it's it's exploringthat thread through the lens of
judaism, for me, which isbeautiful, that is beautiful,
wow.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Nothing to say to that, just listening to you,
okay.
Last story this is no jews inthis one.
I'm Catholic and husband Sorry,I am Catholic and husband A B
is Hindu.
We both believe in God in someform or another.
We both believe that religionhelps you find community, helps
you find faith and understandthat something is bigger than
(33:24):
yourself.
Literally what you just saidhelps you understand life and
where you have come from and canteach you how to live a good
life and be a good person.
In the beginning it started outas a general openness to each
other's cultures and beliefs.
My family didn't have a hardtime accepting him and my
husband's family welcomed me andmy family as well, even though
wanting to marry a non-HinduAmerican was not necessarily
what they expected from him.
(33:44):
When we got married in India, Iwas exposed to many Hindu
worship puja ceremonies.
They're very beautiful.
A lot of really beautiful songsand chanting in Hindi or
whatever the local languages,and in Sanskrit.
After marriage we moved toJersey city and we started
celebrating both traditions.
My husband loves to decoratethe Christmas tree and I love to
decorate the house of Diwali,the Hindu festival of light,
(34:06):
celebrating good over evil.
My husband helps build aChristmas dinner menu and I tell
him what I want for dinner onDiwali.
It works for us.
Nowadays we go together toCatholic church and Hindu temple
and bring our son Avere.
There are different templesdevoted to different gods, so
depending on the occasion orfestival, we pick whichever is
most appropriate.
The Hindu festivals don't fallon the same days every year, so
(34:27):
each year I look up the calendar, put all the festival and my
Google well she's like organized.
Share with my husband and makesure I know what they're all
about.
We don't celebrate everyfestival and some festivals are
very regionally specific, so wecelebrate what's important to
him.
I love going to temple and findit always great place for me to
pray.
The peace, the chanting, themusic, the smell of incense it's
very centering.
My husband prays in his way andI pray in mine.
(34:48):
We both respect each other'sway.
My husband asked me aboutCatholicism, like what does the
Holy Trinity mean, and I askedabout his faith and the stories
about the Hindu gods andgoddesses.
What I love about Hinduism isthat they make worship open to
anybody who happens to be there,and their gods and goddesses
have many virtues and also haveflaws.
What a great way to think ofhumanity right.
What I like about my currentCatholic church is how accepting
(35:10):
they've been on my interfaithfamily.
We were open that my husband isHindu and that we intend to
raise our son both Catholic andHindu.
I want my son to see thetraditions his family has
participated in for generationsand how, even on their face,
they may look very different,Deep down their teachings are
very similar.
My extended family loves to seepujas worship and his mom wants
to come to church with me whenshe visits and when my
(35:32):
mother-in-law visits.
She prays every day in a spacewe set up for worship in our
house with little statues ofgods and goddesses, and I'm
totally good with that.
That's part of her life andit's a great way to expose my
son to what Pooja is.
I'll be my husband.
I take what we like from bothfaiths and bring it to our home.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
That's beautiful sharing that, yeah, that that is
, oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
And based on what I've seen for hindu celebrations
.
Some of that yeah is lit.
Yeah, and you know what?
Like when tony and I starteddating, literally two months
after we started dating, I waslike that does like, because
we're dating, does that mean Ican get a christmas tree?
Speaker 2 (36:05):
and we got a christmas tree we did, and it
was like so fun.
And not only did we get achristmas tree, we surprised mia
with a christmas tree.
That was one of my.
I still have a video of it andit was like so fun.
And not only do we get aChristmas tree, we surprised Mia
with a Christmas tree.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
That was one of my still have a video of it and it
was like she was like it wasMia's first Christmas tree, like
you know.
You know I was single mom, Ididn't, you know, I wasn't going
to get her Christmas tree,there was no reason, and that
was the first time we celebratedChristmas and, like a few weeks
(36:35):
later, I loved it and I lovethat we get to do that every
year and we buy a tree everyyear.
It's like, yeah, we're gettinga tree and yes, I am 100% a
Jewish woman and although, likeI, we went to church and I was
kind of on the fence on that,one Listen.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
we dabble in all the things and see what works.
Honestly, it's simply aboutwhat works for everyone.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Can we answer Claire Hazan's FaceTime?
Okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Okay, hell yeah, hello Hello.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Okay, hello, okay, I'm only getting it tomorrow
morning, though.
We're recording a podcast, momnow.
Okay, beseda, I love you.
Bye, I can't not answer mymom's phone.
(37:29):
I'm sorry.
I know you were like what thefuck?
Why are you asking?
Because I know if she's callingme now, it's important.
I've got to answer my mom'sphone.
I'm sorry.
I know you were like what thefuck?
Why are you asking?
Because I know if she's callingme now, it's important.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I've got to answer my mom's.
You have to answer your mom's.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
But it was because we're making jamin, so she's
like asked me to.
We need to soak the chickpeasthe night before.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Well that's tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
On that note, this note.
This was a great episode.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
I feel like we were on to something and we were
tugging at a thread and I can'tremember.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Oh my christmas, we're tugging at a thread.
The one thing I wanted to sayis that, like the perfect
representation about how we've,how we've, integrated each
other's traditions into into ourlives, is like we set up a
christmas tree every year with astar of david on top of it yeah
, it is the most jewishchristmas.
Christmas tree.
It is just so symbolic.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
We have, like the rabbi on the shelf or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
No, we have the mensch on a bench.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
Oh the mensch on a bench, okay, and Elf on the
shelf.
Yes, we have both yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
We have both, but the lid's been blown off of the Elf
on the shelf to wait tillnoah's yeah ready for it.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, I'm kind of happy about that it was a lot of
work.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
It's a lot of work.
That was a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, that was one that yeah okay, let's not talk
about the holidays, it's givingme anxiety it's, it'll be fine
we should record.
No, we should record on, likeafter we break the yom kippur,
like fast, like, like eat.
While we record, I'm gonna bein a coma from eating after that
.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
So yeah, we can try.
I think we should.
You know what we should?
Hanger record the last hour.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
No, we can't use technology, babe.
There's no technology, we aregoing off the grid we are not
watching tv, we are not usingour phones like nobody can reach
us exactly that's.
We have to do it the right way.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
No more half-assing it.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
That's why I sent you a calendar invite, so you
wouldn't go to work.
How?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
far in advance.
Do you think I look at my?
Speaker 1 (39:19):
calendar.
I'm going to tell my clients,sorry, not available.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Daniel, if you listen to this podcast, I'm not
working on Yom Kippur, hedoesn't.
He doesn't listen.
I don't know if he knows what apodcast is, he does.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Can you just let him know now?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Like right now.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
And also well.
First it's Rosh Hashanah.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I understand.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
And Rosh Hashanah.
You know you're not supposed towork on Rosh Hashanah either.
It's New Year.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Listen, twist my arm.
I don't want you.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Okay, unless you really are going, then you can
go let's see.
Hashem will forgive.
Okay, on that note, this wasthe Lynn and Tony no podcast.
Yes, I'm in a bra.
I am mentally okay, um yeahcatch you next week.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Next week, next week, yeah, but it doesn't matter,
doesn't matter what week.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I say it is, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
See you next time peace, it doesn't matter.
See you next time.
Peace, ladies and gentlemen,peace, thank you.
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