Michael Bolton's HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU when I barely know you, if you even exist, I mean, you could be Katie Couric or Lady Diana or my own mother or a figment and you're pantless?

It's 1990. An idea for something called "World Wide Web" or "the internet" is proposed by Tim Berners-Lee in Switzerland as a way to more rapidly distribute pornography. Nelson Mandela is released from prison and goes straight, at least as far as a politician can be. His wife on the other hand ... anyway ... the Berlin Wall is demolished, largely by people trying to escape David Hasselhoff singing nearby. The Simpsons airs on TV for the first time. Margaret Thatcher announces her resignation ... but most importantly, Michael Bolton releases a big sloppy hit that was written 8 years ago.

What are the messages, the attitudes, the life and times of this song? Explore with us and the assistance of our lovely listener called Stephen. Our wide-ranging investigation includes sound effects, Laura Branigan, gender and sexuality, courtroom drama, Katie Couric, Bryant Gumbel and NBC Today morning news, fixated persons, Jodie Foster, John Kinckley Jr, The Greatest American Hero, memory versus fantasy, The Wizard of Oz, self-loathing, cheapskate dramas, her right of reply, the many looks from a woman and what they might mean, self-pity, smoky music videos, (trigger warning:) Carry On movies, murder, and domestic abuse, classy phrasing like a pro, domestic self-pity, Oedipus complex, Lady Diana, Prince Charles, and so much more.

Our regular segments that you're not supposed to live without: Misheard Lyrics, Internet Theories, Notable Trivia, and more included below.

(00:00) Introduction with sound effects extravaganza!

(01:50) Song details and gender/sexuality neutrality

(02:58) Submission from listener, Stephen Donohue, with courtroom sound effects

(04:13) Morning news Katie Couric obsession?

(06:39) Part 2: Submission from listener, Stephen Donohue, WITHOUT courtroom sound effects

(07:42) Fixated Persons

(08:18) Murdering people to impress other people like Jodie Foster?

(09:32) The Greatest American Hero that had nothing to do with the other Hinckley (John Hinckley Jr.)

(10:14) SpeakPipe us

(10:25) The music video - Present and past? Memory or fantasy?

(14:34) The music video - cheapskate tries to recoup losses?

(17:23) No right-of-rely from the lady, it's not fair!

(18:47) The many looks from a woman and what they might mean

(19:35) Imagining the imaginary

(20:30) Self-pity to the max

(22:00) How am I supposed to podcast without you?

(23:34) Smoky music videos and human air-filters

(24:38) Trigger warning: Carry On movies, murder, and domestic abuse

(28:36) Classy phrasing like a pro

(29:00) Domestic self-pity

(29:55) Oedipus complex?

(30:53) Is it about Princess Diana?

(34:00) Internet Theories

(37:45) Misheard Lyrics

(39:55) Notable Trivia

(43:34) Thanks and sponsors

Would you like to appear (well, vocally) on the show? Do you have a pop song or ear-worm from the SMOOTH FM genre that’s infested your mind and needs to be investigated? Visit this page ⁠⁠https://speakpipe.com/lyrics⁠⁠ to record us your own voicemail hot-take on your specific smooth song of suckiness. You could be on a future episode! (you can always email sound files or text your thoughts to ⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠ if that's easier). Cheers!

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Sound clips are included for educational reference, criticism, satire and parody in fair use. Clips remain the property of the respective rights holder and no endorsement is implied. All information and opinion is performed and expressed in-character and does not reflect reality or genuine commentary on any persons (living or dead), bands or other organisations, or their works, and is not recommended listening for anyone, anywhere.