April 28, 2025 • 25 mins
What happens when conflict arises in our most important relationships? Too often, we focus on winning arguments rather than restoring connections, letting pride drive us further apart.
The good news? Jesus offers a profound promise in the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." This identity as peacemakers isn't about avoiding confrontation but actively pursuing reconciliation with wisdom and humility.
Throughout scripture, we find powerful examples of those who stepped into tense situations to bring healing. Abigail's wisdom prevented bloodshed between David and her foolish husband. Jonathan advocated for David despite his father's rage. Moses interceded between God and rebellious Israel. Barnabas vouched for the newly-converted Paul when the early church was skeptical.
When relationships break down, the Bible gives clear guidance for restoration. Whether you've wronged someone or been wronged yourself, the responsibility to initiate reconciliation falls on you. The approach matters tremendously: rather than rehashing grievances, focus on moving forward with statements like, "I regret our relationship is strained, and for my part, I'm sorry."
Sometimes, conflicts require a third party's help. Effective mediators love both sides equally, listen carefully before speaking, show grace throughout the process, ask thoughtful questions, and model the humility they hope to inspire. At every step, prayer provides the foundation—asking God for the right words and attitude.
Ready to embrace your calling as a peacemaker? Identify a strained relationship in your life, pray for guidance, and take that courageous first step toward reconciliation. Because ultimately, this work of peace isn't just something we do—it reflects who we are as children of God.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to Made for Good, the podcast where we
explore how to live out ourpurpose through good works
counted by biblical truth.
Hey.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm Josh and I'm Mark .
Today we're talking aboutpeacemaking, what it means to be
a true peacemaker in ourrelationships, in our
communities and in our church.
Family Conflict is a reality ofhuman relationships, right as
followers of Christ.
As Christians, we're not reallytold to always avoid conflict,
(00:34):
but we are called to engage inpeacemaking.
And peace is not the absence ofconflict, but it's really the
result of what happens after youwork through it with love and
humility and wisdom.
So, josh, let me ask you what'sthe hardest part do you think
(00:55):
about those three of makingpeace with someone you have an
issue with?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah well, first of all, this is a difficult topic.
Let me just say that I rememberin class this was challenging
and this will be challengingtoday.
But, to answer your question,my opinion is it's pride, pride
and humility.
In arguments or difficultsituations, sometimes we get so
caught up on our desire to beright that we don't even listen
(01:20):
to what's going on or we're noteven focused on seeking peace.
And, to oversimplify this, wedo this with people that we love
, people that we would think wewould never have these kinds of
problems with humility and pride.
Think about times where youhave an argument with your
spouse and at the root of it, weare focused on winning the
argument rather than restoringthe relationship.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You know absolutely.
That's true, unfortunately.
But you know, Jesus gave us areally important and powerful
promise.
So there's a relationshipbetween a promise that God has
given us and our actions aspeacemakers.
If you go to the Sermon on theMount in Matthew 5, we look at
(02:04):
verse 9.
These are one of the Beatitudesyou know, very familiar to most
of us.
Blessed are the peacemakers,for they will be called children
of God.
But don't you want to be calleda child of God?
I think that that's acharacteristic of a child of God
, because being a peacemaker isnot just avoiding the fights.
It's about the activereconciliation and always trying
(02:27):
to work towards unity.
So today we're going to talkabout how we can follow the
biblical examples of peacemakersand try to apply those lessons
in our own life.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
The Bible is just filled with incredible examples
of people who stepped intoconflict and brought about peace
, and we're going to go throughthis together, mark.
I want to start with Abigail.
She defused a dangeroussituation between David and her
husband.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, so you know, this is a story of Nabal and
David.
And you know, david comes up.
Obviously, Nabal is wealthy,he's got some resources.
David and his men are kind ofon the run and they, they just
ask for some help and Nabal saysyou know, absolutely not.
And then David gets all up inarms and he's going to kill all
(03:14):
of them.
And who steps in?
Who's the third partypeacemaker?
It's Abigail.
Yeah, she does it with wisdom,she does it with humility.
It is, it's such a wonderfulstory.
Abigail steps in and resolvesthe situation by providing what
David needed, what her husbandrefused to give.
So she used wisdom, she usedhumility when she addressed him.
(03:38):
You know, she's shown herself,you know, very, very humble in
his presence, because she knewit was about to get really,
really bad, not just for herhusband and their servants, but
for, maybe, her herself.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Now think about Jonathan.
He stepped into conflict.
He sought peace from his father, king Saul and David.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, there's a case here in 1 Samuel 19 where
Jonathan goes to his father,King Saul, and says, why are you
doing this?
And he reminds his father ofall the good things that David
has done for Saul and so hereally tried to intervene in
this relationship.
And this was not easy forJonathan to do.
(04:21):
I mean, anytime you go before aking, it can go one of two ways
right it can go very good orvery, very poorly for the person
who's trying to plead theircase essentially before the king
.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Those are two examples that maybe not as known
as these next, that I want togo over with you.
Think about Moses, how hestepped into conflict and
brought about peace.
He interceded between God andthe Israelites when they had
sinned.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, you know the passage there in Exodus 32, god
is fed up with Israelites and hesays leave me alone.
I'm going to destroy them andI'll make a great nation out of
you.
But Moses steps in and pleadshis case.
He's saying you know what arethe Egyptians going to say?
(05:06):
You just brought your peopleout and you just killed them in
the wilderness.
And this is such a fascinatingconversation where you've got
Moses, a human being, and he'spleading his case with God
because God is angry.
And he's successful.
He saves the nation, heresolves the conflict between
(05:30):
Israel and God.
And this is one of those manyways that Moses is a light
figure to Jesus.
Jesus stepped in and resolvedand reconciled man and God.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
That's so good.
Our last example is somebodythat I feel like we've talked
about almost every episode, andthat's Barnabas.
He helped bridge the gapbetween Paul and the early
church.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, you know the passage in Acts 9 where this is
right after Paul's conversionand he goes to Jerusalem and he
tries to join himself to thedisciples there and, like we
think you're up to something.
They didn't trust him, yeah,and who steps in?
Barnabas steps in and takesPaul to the apostles and he
(06:11):
vouches for them.
He tells them that Paul can betrusted, paul has been converted
and he is a disciple and, ofcourse, that's the beginning of
a relationship that we readabout through the rest of the
book of Acts, josh, this is agreat lineup of peacemakers in
the Bible and great examples forus to follow.
(06:31):
Let's look at Hebrews 12, verse14.
There's really a direct commandthere by the Hebrew writer and
that's that we're to strive forpeace with everyone and for the
holiness, without which there'sno way that we're going to see
the Lord.
The first part of that verse isstrive for peace with everyone.
This implies the word strivethere implies it's.
(06:54):
It's difficult.
Yeah, I do not have to striveto eat a bowl of ice cream.
You know what Natural talenthere, I'm able to do it.
Cream you know what Naturaltalent here, I'm able to do it.
It takes almost no effort, butI really have to strive for not
eating the bowl of ice cream.
So being a peacemaker whatwe're saying here is being a
(07:20):
peacemaker takes effort.
It's not just the effort, andthis does not come naturally.
It requires humility, as you'vealready mentioned, come
naturally.
It requires humility, as you'vealready mentioned.
I think it requires patience,you know, because this stuff
doesn't always get resolvedquickly.
It may take multipleconversations to get a
resolution or at least to get toa point of peace, and it really
(07:41):
it takes a willingness on ourpart to put in that effort, even
when it's difficult.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, you're so right .
How can we take these examplesthat we've talked about already
and apply them to our lives?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Well, you know, Paul gives us real practical guidance
in keeping the peace.
If you look in Romans 14, verse19,.
He says let us make everyeffort to do what leads to peace
and mutual edification.
There's that word again effort.
It takes effort, but Paul istelling the Romans to make the
(08:13):
effort.
Paul is telling them thatalthough it takes effort, it's
going to lead to peace and tomutual edification.
Now, some of the key principlesof keeping the peace here is,
you know, honoring others aboveourselves.
You know, as you said, choosinghumility over pride.
I think sharing with others inneed, kind of it, fosters
(08:34):
goodwill and unity.
Rejoicing with those whorejoice, mourning with those who
mourn there's a connectionthere emotionally that
strengthens a relationship.
We talked about that a littlebit in our previous episodes.
And then turning away from eviland doing good and this is just
choosing to do the right thingpromotes peace and avoids
(08:58):
conflict.
You know, when we're pridefulwe may say things that we
shouldn't and that causeshostility, causes issues in our
relationships.
But it will not do that.
It will avoid the pride.
In other words, turning awayfrom evil and doing good Instead
of pride, choose humility, Thenwe can actually avoid the
(09:22):
conflict altogether.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Well, flat out, keeping peace is not always easy
, but sometimes, like youmentioned earlier, we're just
called to do it.
It requires us often taking thefirst step towards
reconciliation, even when that'suncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, so here's the reality check part of our
episode today, when peace isbroken and relationships are
damaged, the Bible gives usclear instructions on how to
restore this peace.
There's specifically twosituations that are related in
the book of Matthew.
If you've wronged someone, yougo to them.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
That's in Matthew 5, right Matthew 5, 23 through 24.
If you're offering your gift atthe altar and there, remember
that your brother has somethingagainst you, leave your gift
there before the altar and gofirst be reconciled to your
brother and then come and offeryour gift.
And this is implying, josh,that this conflict affects
(10:19):
worship.
So the admonition is to go,resolve it first and then come
back in worship.
And the second one is ifsomeone has wronged you, you
need to approach them with love.
If your brother sins againstyou in Matthew 18, 15, if your
brother sins against you, go andtell him his fault between you
(10:42):
and him alone.
If he listens to you, you'vegained your brother.
So you've got two situationshere One where you've been in
the wrong, and the second one iswhen someone else has been in
the wrong.
So, josh, whose responsibilityis it in both of these
situations?
Both?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
both parties.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
So both parties are responsible, situations, both
parties.
So both parties are responsible, but I think the admonition is
to the one who recognizes thewrong.
So in the first one, whenyou've wronged somebody, it says
in Matthew 5, 23 and 24 you goto them and resolve it, because
you're the one who's in thewrong.
(11:24):
And then in the second case,when someone has wronged you, it
says you go and tell him hisfault and then try to work it
out.
So I think the responsibility,while it's ultimately on both
parties, if both parties aredoing what they're should be
doing, both of you are going tomeet in the middle because
you're both going to the otherperson and you're taking action
(11:48):
to try to resolve it.
So it's really not about who'sright or wrong.
It's really about honoring Godand how we handle this conflict.
We're honoring God by followingwhat his word has told us to do
, and that is go and talk tothem.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Mark, I want to just stop for a moment and before we
go any further, and just bringup the class.
Remember when we were in classand and we we had this.
We went over this material andsomething happened that we
weren't expecting.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Well, no, we don't know exactly what happened, but
we know people came to us afterthe class and told us that
People took this to heart andbecause in the class here's the
example that we gave we saidagain there's 60, 70, 80 people
in the classroom, we gave thescenario of we're all in here,
(12:39):
we're all trying to make it toheaven, right, but we brought up
the possibility that therecould be two people in this room
.
We're going to attending thischurch for quite a while.
We've had a relationship in thepast.
The current relationship isstrained, there's some conflict,
there's not peace and we, youknow, we injected a little bit
(13:01):
of humor to say what are yougoing to ask God?
Could you have a mansion on adifferent street than this
person?
Because we don't really getalong.
And what we did is wechallenged the class to go try
to make peace, yeah, and not torehash everything that went on.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
And, by the way, we didn't know about anything that
may have happened.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
No, we were pure speculation that there might be
some issue because, again, as wesaid at the beginning, you know
conflict is common to humannature.
I mean we're we have conflictwith people and so we asked them
to take a step towardsreconciliation and that was part
of our class challenge for thatweek and and then we moved on
(13:45):
and then we found we got classchallenge for that week, and
then we moved on, and then wefound we got feedback later on
that said you guys don't reallyknow what the impact was, that
there were relationships thatwere strained that are now
resolved.
Yeah, and again our admonitionwas realize you're both trying
to go to heaven, realize neitherone of you are perfect and make
(14:12):
the effort to be humble and toapproach the other person and
say I regret, our relationshipis strained and for my part of
that I'm sorry.
I really want to have a betterrelationship with you because I
need your encouragement to helpme go to heaven and I want to
encourage you as well.
So something that's reallysuccinct.
(14:34):
Just saying that usually kind ofbreaks down the wall.
Sometimes it could even melt aheart.
Where you enter this time,where the tension is gone, it's
kind of melted out, and so youcould almost enter this period
of reflection where either party, or maybe both parties, could
(14:57):
at some point down the line go.
You know, I'm so glad that youknow we're in a good space now,
a good place in our relationship, and I appreciate so much you
coming to me and what I want totell you is that I've been
thinking about it and now Irealize I was wrong and that
happened during this period ofreflection, after you released
(15:21):
the tension and just said I wantyou to go to heaven, I love you
and I want us to have arelationship again like we had
before, not again.
None of that identified andrehashed the problem.
It was only about how we gofrom here and move forward and
(15:42):
show humility.
For my part of it, I'm sorry.
And that really opens up when,when I say that, what are you
inclined to say?
If I were to say you to Josh,if we had this argument and I
would go for my part of it, I'mimplying that you might've had a
part too.
For my part of it, I'm sorry,hey over to you.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Naturally, it's probably going to happen because
you're and I'm expecting you tosay I sorry right but when you
see humility on one person'sside, then your heart, you know,
gets softened and you're morewilling to have a conversation.
One of the things that I willadd to that part of the class is
we did talk about like we doevery episode we've had so far
too praying yeah, it's a bigpart of this.
(16:23):
So praying peace, and we'lltalk more about that in a minute
.
But sometimes to gear up forthese not sometimes, that's it
In difficult times where we getto have difficult conversations
we need to be going to God first.
So you talked about Matthew 5earlier.
Pray to God about what you'rewanting to do and understand the
why behind it.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
as we talked about Matthew 5, 9 earlier, the why
behind it, as we talked aboutMatthew 5, 9 earlier, you know.
So these instructions thatwe've been given in Matthew 5
and in Matthew 18 about ifyou've wronged someone, go to
them.
If they've wronged you, you goto them.
Right, the responsibility is onyou, right, ultimately, it's on
both parties, but it's on youto initiate it, regardless of
(17:04):
where you are in thatrelationship.
Own you to initiate it,regardless of where you are in
that relationship.
We talked about the example inclass and how we kind of put
that challenge out there andpeople we found out after the
fact that there wererelationships that were restored
and that was so encouraging tous.
We have no idea what it was,but we're just glad that the
relationships have been restored.
(17:25):
Agreed, so we've covered whatthe Bible has to say about
restoring peace between twopeople, between you and someone
else.
Yeah, but, josh, there'sanother type of peacemaker.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, the third party peacemaker.
And let's talk about the roleof a third party peacemaker.
Sometimes conflicts just can'teasily be resolved and because
of that a third party is neededto help mediate.
Philippians 4, 2-3 is a goodexample of that for us.
I treat Iodia and I treatSyntyche to agree to the Lord.
Yes, I ask you also, truecompanion, help these women who
(17:59):
have labored side by side withme in the gospel, together with
Clement and the rest of myfellow workers whose names are
in the book of life.
Paul encouraged the church here, mark, to step in and to help
reconcile others.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
You know it's a little bit embarrassing to have
an argument be recorded for alltime in scripture.
You know these two ladies whowere workers in the kingdom
right, but they weren't of thesame mind.
They had some sort ofdisagreement, we believe, and
(18:36):
Paul encouraging the church tostep in there and help.
This is really something thatall of us can do, whether it's
in friendships, in your circleof friends or family members, or
even church family members.
There's a way that we can beeffective peacemakers.
So I'm going to go through fivethings here real quick.
That just it's kind of aguideline to being an effective
(18:59):
peacemaker.
So, first of all, love bothparties.
You really want to seek thegood of both people.
Second, listen carefully.
We already talked about being aneffective listener, an
empathetic listener.
Show grace.
What we're really trying to dois be long-suffering.
(19:20):
We're called to belong-suffering.
Encourage forgiveness ratherthan focusing on blame.
Fourth, ask questions.
Again, we've talked about thatas well.
Help them to reflect on what isgoing on and work to find a
solution and then ultimately bethe model of humility and say
(19:45):
look, I've done this, you know,and I've been wrong, you know.
Admit your own faults andencourage, you know, mutual
respect for both parties, andwhat those two parties may see
in you in humility may causethem to want to be humble in
their relationship with eachother.
So five things real quick Loveboth parties, listen carefully,
(20:10):
show grace, be long-suffering,ask questions and then be a
model of humility so that theycan emulate that when they see
it in you.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
That's such a great guide.
Sometimes people just need totalk it out, and that's where we
can help.
Yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
So that brings us to our mission challenge for this
week.
So, because this one is reallyhard, and again what we should
do when we start any challenge,or even start our day, we need
to pray for peace.
We want to ask God where can Ibe a peacemaker?
(20:47):
Maybe it's in our ownrelationship with somebody else,
or maybe it's as a third partypeacemaker.
Here's our mission.
If you, after you've prayedabout it, if there's a
relationship that's beenstrained, reach out to them and
seek peace.
In your prayer, you may alreadyknow the person, you may
already know the situation wherethere is a conflict, and what
(21:09):
you're really praying for is theright words to say in the right
attitude.
So practice humility and whenyou go to that person seeking
peace, and so after you've said,look, I want to resolve, I want
to be at peace, you know, a lotof times we're not going to
(21:29):
resolve things.
Yeah, what we want is peace sowe can work together in God's
kingdom, side by side.
So the next time a disagreementarises, you know there's a way
we can maybe even avoid theconflict, and that's being a
better listener.
Maybe we heard what they saidin an incorrect way and so in
(21:54):
this case we can be, instead ofa peacemaker, we can be a
conflict avoider, right?
So practicing humility is a wayto really avoid conflict when
it comes to these types ofproblems with other people,
where our pride has gotten intothe relationship and we're
(22:14):
looking to, as you said earlier,win the argument.
But then also maybe you say,josh, I'm not at war with
anybody, I'm good in myrelationships, but I guarantee
you probably know a couple offriends who are not getting
along and maybe you want to bethe peacemaker in their life and
(22:38):
if there's a way that you cangently encourage resolution.
This is not a singleconversation.
Most likely, this is a thebeginning of a of a conversation
.
Yeah, it's a beginning of adialogue and, as we've talked
about in earlier ones, we've gotto make the decision that we
want to do good and that'staking action.
(23:02):
You see two people that youcare a lot about and they're
arguing or they're in conflict,and you love both of them.
You want to help them.
A word fitly spoken is likeapples of gold in a frame or
network of silver.
It's a beautiful thing.
With our words we can have suchan impact on other people's
(23:23):
lives.
So pray for peace, understandthat it's hard.
Ask God to give you the rightwords to say, so that you can
possibly restore or reconcile arelationship that you have.
Practice humility.
Focus on listening rather thantrying to win the argument or
defending your position, andthen go and be a peacemaker in
someone else's life.
So are you going to talk aboutthe secret project?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Well see, I've tried.
I've tried three episodes now,and each time you, well, you
kind of embarrass me.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Well, you're right, it's not time.
No, I'm kidding, okay.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Why would you bring that up?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
You went through that whole thing, yeah, I did bring
it up this time, so we gave ahint the last time.
Something about reading betweenthe lines yeah, so obvious
coming next month, in may.
Uh, we hopefully are going tobe releasing a study guide on
good works that encapsulates allthat we've compiled on good
(24:20):
works and the study of goodworks.
So watch for our socials forthe release date of that and
hopefully we'll get it done.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, we're really excited.
We're really really excited toget this out.
We'll have more informationcoming out.
All forms of social media.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
So that's it for today's episode of Made for Good
.
If this conversation encouragedyou or challenged you or caused
you to resolve a relationship,we'd love to hear about that.
If you've got comments orquestions, be sure to post those
on our different social mediaoutlets.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
And if you found this helpful, and we hope that you
did consider sharing it with afriend.
Until next time, seek peace, bea bridge for reconciliation and
remember you were made for this.
Thank you.
Welcome to Made for Good, the podcast where we
explore how to live out ourpurpose through good works
counted by biblical truth.
Hey.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm Josh and I'm Mark .
Today we're talking aboutpeacemaking, what it means to be
a true peacemaker in ourrelationships, in our
communities and in our church.
Family Conflict is a reality ofhuman relationships, right as
followers of Christ.
As Christians, we're not reallytold to always avoid conflict,
(00:34):
but we are called to engage inpeacemaking.
And peace is not the absence ofconflict, but it's really the
result of what happens after youwork through it with love and
humility and wisdom.
So, josh, let me ask you what'sthe hardest part do you think
(00:55):
about those three of makingpeace with someone you have an
issue with?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah well, first of all, this is a difficult topic.
Let me just say that I rememberin class this was challenging
and this will be challengingtoday.
But, to answer your question,my opinion is it's pride, pride
and humility.
In arguments or difficultsituations, sometimes we get so
caught up on our desire to beright that we don't even listen
(01:20):
to what's going on or we're noteven focused on seeking peace.
And, to oversimplify this, wedo this with people that we love
, people that we would think wewould never have these kinds of
problems with humility and pride.
Think about times where youhave an argument with your
spouse and at the root of it, weare focused on winning the
argument rather than restoringthe relationship.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You know absolutely.
That's true, unfortunately.
But you know, Jesus gave us areally important and powerful
promise.
So there's a relationshipbetween a promise that God has
given us and our actions aspeacemakers.
If you go to the Sermon on theMount in Matthew 5, we look at
(02:04):
verse 9.
These are one of the Beatitudesyou know, very familiar to most
of us.
Blessed are the peacemakers,for they will be called children
of God.
But don't you want to be calleda child of God?
I think that that's acharacteristic of a child of God
, because being a peacemaker isnot just avoiding the fights.
It's about the activereconciliation and always trying
(02:27):
to work towards unity.
So today we're going to talkabout how we can follow the
biblical examples of peacemakersand try to apply those lessons
in our own life.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
The Bible is just filled with incredible examples
of people who stepped intoconflict and brought about peace
, and we're going to go throughthis together, mark.
I want to start with Abigail.
She defused a dangeroussituation between David and her
husband.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, so you know, this is a story of Nabal and
David.
And you know, david comes up.
Obviously, Nabal is wealthy,he's got some resources.
David and his men are kind ofon the run and they, they just
ask for some help and Nabal saysyou know, absolutely not.
And then David gets all up inarms and he's going to kill all
(03:14):
of them.
And who steps in?
Who's the third partypeacemaker?
It's Abigail.
Yeah, she does it with wisdom,she does it with humility.
It is, it's such a wonderfulstory.
Abigail steps in and resolvesthe situation by providing what
David needed, what her husbandrefused to give.
So she used wisdom, she usedhumility when she addressed him.
(03:38):
You know, she's shown herself,you know, very, very humble in
his presence, because she knewit was about to get really,
really bad, not just for herhusband and their servants, but
for, maybe, her herself.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Now think about Jonathan.
He stepped into conflict.
He sought peace from his father, king Saul and David.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, there's a case here in 1 Samuel 19 where
Jonathan goes to his father,King Saul, and says, why are you
doing this?
And he reminds his father ofall the good things that David
has done for Saul and so hereally tried to intervene in
this relationship.
And this was not easy forJonathan to do.
(04:21):
I mean, anytime you go before aking, it can go one of two ways
right it can go very good orvery, very poorly for the person
who's trying to plead theircase essentially before the king
.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Those are two examples that maybe not as known
as these next, that I want togo over with you.
Think about Moses, how hestepped into conflict and
brought about peace.
He interceded between God andthe Israelites when they had
sinned.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, you know the passage there in Exodus 32, god
is fed up with Israelites and hesays leave me alone.
I'm going to destroy them andI'll make a great nation out of
you.
But Moses steps in and pleadshis case.
He's saying you know what arethe Egyptians going to say?
(05:06):
You just brought your peopleout and you just killed them in
the wilderness.
And this is such a fascinatingconversation where you've got
Moses, a human being, and he'spleading his case with God
because God is angry.
And he's successful.
He saves the nation, heresolves the conflict between
(05:30):
Israel and God.
And this is one of those manyways that Moses is a light
figure to Jesus.
Jesus stepped in and resolvedand reconciled man and God.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
That's so good.
Our last example is somebodythat I feel like we've talked
about almost every episode, andthat's Barnabas.
He helped bridge the gapbetween Paul and the early
church.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, you know the passage in Acts 9 where this is
right after Paul's conversionand he goes to Jerusalem and he
tries to join himself to thedisciples there and, like we
think you're up to something.
They didn't trust him, yeah,and who steps in?
Barnabas steps in and takesPaul to the apostles and he
(06:11):
vouches for them.
He tells them that Paul can betrusted, paul has been converted
and he is a disciple and, ofcourse, that's the beginning of
a relationship that we readabout through the rest of the
book of Acts, josh, this is agreat lineup of peacemakers in
the Bible and great examples forus to follow.
(06:31):
Let's look at Hebrews 12, verse14.
There's really a direct commandthere by the Hebrew writer and
that's that we're to strive forpeace with everyone and for the
holiness, without which there'sno way that we're going to see
the Lord.
The first part of that verse isstrive for peace with everyone.
This implies the word strivethere implies it's.
(06:54):
It's difficult.
Yeah, I do not have to striveto eat a bowl of ice cream.
You know what Natural talenthere, I'm able to do it.
Cream you know what Naturaltalent here, I'm able to do it.
It takes almost no effort, butI really have to strive for not
eating the bowl of ice cream.
So being a peacemaker whatwe're saying here is being a
(07:20):
peacemaker takes effort.
It's not just the effort, andthis does not come naturally.
It requires humility, as you'vealready mentioned, come
naturally.
It requires humility, as you'vealready mentioned.
I think it requires patience,you know, because this stuff
doesn't always get resolvedquickly.
It may take multipleconversations to get a
resolution or at least to get toa point of peace, and it really
(07:41):
it takes a willingness on ourpart to put in that effort, even
when it's difficult.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, you're so right .
How can we take these examplesthat we've talked about already
and apply them to our lives?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Well, you know, Paul gives us real practical guidance
in keeping the peace.
If you look in Romans 14, verse19,.
He says let us make everyeffort to do what leads to peace
and mutual edification.
There's that word again effort.
It takes effort, but Paul istelling the Romans to make the
(08:13):
effort.
Paul is telling them thatalthough it takes effort, it's
going to lead to peace and tomutual edification.
Now, some of the key principlesof keeping the peace here is,
you know, honoring others aboveourselves.
You know, as you said, choosinghumility over pride.
I think sharing with others inneed, kind of it, fosters
(08:34):
goodwill and unity.
Rejoicing with those whorejoice, mourning with those who
mourn there's a connectionthere emotionally that
strengthens a relationship.
We talked about that a littlebit in our previous episodes.
And then turning away from eviland doing good and this is just
choosing to do the right thingpromotes peace and avoids
(08:58):
conflict.
You know, when we're pridefulwe may say things that we
shouldn't and that causeshostility, causes issues in our
relationships.
But it will not do that.
It will avoid the pride.
In other words, turning awayfrom evil and doing good Instead
of pride, choose humility, Thenwe can actually avoid the
(09:22):
conflict altogether.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Well, flat out, keeping peace is not always easy
, but sometimes, like youmentioned earlier, we're just
called to do it.
It requires us often taking thefirst step towards
reconciliation, even when that'suncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, so here's the reality check part of our
episode today, when peace isbroken and relationships are
damaged, the Bible gives usclear instructions on how to
restore this peace.
There's specifically twosituations that are related in
the book of Matthew.
If you've wronged someone, yougo to them.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
That's in Matthew 5, right Matthew 5, 23 through 24.
If you're offering your gift atthe altar and there, remember
that your brother has somethingagainst you, leave your gift
there before the altar and gofirst be reconciled to your
brother and then come and offeryour gift.
And this is implying, josh,that this conflict affects
(10:19):
worship.
So the admonition is to go,resolve it first and then come
back in worship.
And the second one is ifsomeone has wronged you, you
need to approach them with love.
If your brother sins againstyou in Matthew 18, 15, if your
brother sins against you, go andtell him his fault between you
(10:42):
and him alone.
If he listens to you, you'vegained your brother.
So you've got two situationshere One where you've been in
the wrong, and the second one iswhen someone else has been in
the wrong.
So, josh, whose responsibilityis it in both of these
situations?
Both?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
both parties.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
So both parties are responsible, situations, both
parties.
So both parties are responsible, but I think the admonition is
to the one who recognizes thewrong.
So in the first one, whenyou've wronged somebody, it says
in Matthew 5, 23 and 24 you goto them and resolve it, because
you're the one who's in thewrong.
(11:24):
And then in the second case,when someone has wronged you, it
says you go and tell him hisfault and then try to work it
out.
So I think the responsibility,while it's ultimately on both
parties, if both parties aredoing what they're should be
doing, both of you are going tomeet in the middle because
you're both going to the otherperson and you're taking action
(11:48):
to try to resolve it.
So it's really not about who'sright or wrong.
It's really about honoring Godand how we handle this conflict.
We're honoring God by followingwhat his word has told us to do
, and that is go and talk tothem.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Mark, I want to just stop for a moment and before we
go any further, and just bringup the class.
Remember when we were in classand and we we had this.
We went over this material andsomething happened that we
weren't expecting.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Well, no, we don't know exactly what happened, but
we know people came to us afterthe class and told us that
People took this to heart andbecause in the class here's the
example that we gave we saidagain there's 60, 70, 80 people
in the classroom, we gave thescenario of we're all in here,
(12:39):
we're all trying to make it toheaven, right, but we brought up
the possibility that therecould be two people in this room
.
We're going to attending thischurch for quite a while.
We've had a relationship in thepast.
The current relationship isstrained, there's some conflict,
there's not peace and we, youknow, we injected a little bit
(13:01):
of humor to say what are yougoing to ask God?
Could you have a mansion on adifferent street than this
person?
Because we don't really getalong.
And what we did is wechallenged the class to go try
to make peace, yeah, and not torehash everything that went on.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
And, by the way, we didn't know about anything that
may have happened.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
No, we were pure speculation that there might be
some issue because, again, as wesaid at the beginning, you know
conflict is common to humannature.
I mean we're we have conflictwith people and so we asked them
to take a step towardsreconciliation and that was part
of our class challenge for thatweek and and then we moved on
(13:45):
and then we found we got classchallenge for that week, and
then we moved on, and then wefound we got feedback later on
that said you guys don't reallyknow what the impact was, that
there were relationships thatwere strained that are now
resolved.
Yeah, and again our admonitionwas realize you're both trying
to go to heaven, realize neitherone of you are perfect and make
(14:12):
the effort to be humble and toapproach the other person and
say I regret, our relationshipis strained and for my part of
that I'm sorry.
I really want to have a betterrelationship with you because I
need your encouragement to helpme go to heaven and I want to
encourage you as well.
So something that's reallysuccinct.
(14:34):
Just saying that usually kind ofbreaks down the wall.
Sometimes it could even melt aheart.
Where you enter this time,where the tension is gone, it's
kind of melted out, and so youcould almost enter this period
of reflection where either party, or maybe both parties, could
(14:57):
at some point down the line go.
You know, I'm so glad that youknow we're in a good space now,
a good place in our relationship, and I appreciate so much you
coming to me and what I want totell you is that I've been
thinking about it and now Irealize I was wrong and that
happened during this period ofreflection, after you released
(15:21):
the tension and just said I wantyou to go to heaven, I love you
and I want us to have arelationship again like we had
before, not again.
None of that identified andrehashed the problem.
It was only about how we gofrom here and move forward and
(15:42):
show humility.
For my part of it, I'm sorry.
And that really opens up when,when I say that, what are you
inclined to say?
If I were to say you to Josh,if we had this argument and I
would go for my part of it, I'mimplying that you might've had a
part too.
For my part of it, I'm sorry,hey over to you.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Naturally, it's probably going to happen because
you're and I'm expecting you tosay I sorry right but when you
see humility on one person'sside, then your heart, you know,
gets softened and you're morewilling to have a conversation.
One of the things that I willadd to that part of the class is
we did talk about like we doevery episode we've had so far
too praying yeah, it's a bigpart of this.
(16:23):
So praying peace, and we'lltalk more about that in a minute
.
But sometimes to gear up forthese not sometimes, that's it
In difficult times where we getto have difficult conversations
we need to be going to God first.
So you talked about Matthew 5earlier.
Pray to God about what you'rewanting to do and understand the
why behind it.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
as we talked about Matthew 5, 9 earlier, the why
behind it, as we talked aboutMatthew 5, 9 earlier, you know.
So these instructions thatwe've been given in Matthew 5
and in Matthew 18 about ifyou've wronged someone, go to
them.
If they've wronged you, you goto them.
Right, the responsibility is onyou, right, ultimately, it's on
both parties, but it's on youto initiate it, regardless of
(17:04):
where you are in thatrelationship.
Own you to initiate it,regardless of where you are in
that relationship.
We talked about the example inclass and how we kind of put
that challenge out there andpeople we found out after the
fact that there wererelationships that were restored
and that was so encouraging tous.
We have no idea what it was,but we're just glad that the
relationships have been restored.
(17:25):
Agreed, so we've covered whatthe Bible has to say about
restoring peace between twopeople, between you and someone
else.
Yeah, but, josh, there'sanother type of peacemaker.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah, the third party peacemaker.
And let's talk about the roleof a third party peacemaker.
Sometimes conflicts just can'teasily be resolved and because
of that a third party is neededto help mediate.
Philippians 4, 2-3 is a goodexample of that for us.
I treat Iodia and I treatSyntyche to agree to the Lord.
Yes, I ask you also, truecompanion, help these women who
(17:59):
have labored side by side withme in the gospel, together with
Clement and the rest of myfellow workers whose names are
in the book of life.
Paul encouraged the church here, mark, to step in and to help
reconcile others.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
You know it's a little bit embarrassing to have
an argument be recorded for alltime in scripture.
You know these two ladies whowere workers in the kingdom
right, but they weren't of thesame mind.
They had some sort ofdisagreement, we believe, and
(18:36):
Paul encouraging the church tostep in there and help.
This is really something thatall of us can do, whether it's
in friendships, in your circleof friends or family members, or
even church family members.
There's a way that we can beeffective peacemakers.
So I'm going to go through fivethings here real quick.
That just it's kind of aguideline to being an effective
(18:59):
peacemaker.
So, first of all, love bothparties.
You really want to seek thegood of both people.
Second, listen carefully.
We already talked about being aneffective listener, an
empathetic listener.
Show grace.
What we're really trying to dois be long-suffering.
(19:20):
We're called to belong-suffering.
Encourage forgiveness ratherthan focusing on blame.
Fourth, ask questions.
Again, we've talked about thatas well.
Help them to reflect on what isgoing on and work to find a
solution and then ultimately bethe model of humility and say
(19:45):
look, I've done this, you know,and I've been wrong, you know.
Admit your own faults andencourage, you know, mutual
respect for both parties, andwhat those two parties may see
in you in humility may causethem to want to be humble in
their relationship with eachother.
So five things real quick Loveboth parties, listen carefully,
(20:10):
show grace, be long-suffering,ask questions and then be a
model of humility so that theycan emulate that when they see
it in you.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
That's such a great guide.
Sometimes people just need totalk it out, and that's where we
can help.
Yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
So that brings us to our mission challenge for this
week.
So, because this one is reallyhard, and again what we should
do when we start any challenge,or even start our day, we need
to pray for peace.
We want to ask God where can Ibe a peacemaker?
(20:47):
Maybe it's in our ownrelationship with somebody else,
or maybe it's as a third partypeacemaker.
Here's our mission.
If you, after you've prayedabout it, if there's a
relationship that's beenstrained, reach out to them and
seek peace.
In your prayer, you may alreadyknow the person, you may
already know the situation wherethere is a conflict, and what
(21:09):
you're really praying for is theright words to say in the right
attitude.
So practice humility and whenyou go to that person seeking
peace, and so after you've said,look, I want to resolve, I want
to be at peace, you know, a lotof times we're not going to
(21:29):
resolve things.
Yeah, what we want is peace sowe can work together in God's
kingdom, side by side.
So the next time a disagreementarises, you know there's a way
we can maybe even avoid theconflict, and that's being a
better listener.
Maybe we heard what they saidin an incorrect way and so in
(21:54):
this case we can be, instead ofa peacemaker, we can be a
conflict avoider, right?
So practicing humility is a wayto really avoid conflict when
it comes to these types ofproblems with other people,
where our pride has gotten intothe relationship and we're
(22:14):
looking to, as you said earlier,win the argument.
But then also maybe you say,josh, I'm not at war with
anybody, I'm good in myrelationships, but I guarantee
you probably know a couple offriends who are not getting
along and maybe you want to bethe peacemaker in their life and
(22:38):
if there's a way that you cangently encourage resolution.
This is not a singleconversation.
Most likely, this is a thebeginning of a of a conversation
.
Yeah, it's a beginning of adialogue and, as we've talked
about in earlier ones, we've gotto make the decision that we
want to do good and that'staking action.
(23:02):
You see two people that youcare a lot about and they're
arguing or they're in conflict,and you love both of them.
You want to help them.
A word fitly spoken is likeapples of gold in a frame or
network of silver.
It's a beautiful thing.
With our words we can have suchan impact on other people's
(23:23):
lives.
So pray for peace, understandthat it's hard.
Ask God to give you the rightwords to say, so that you can
possibly restore or reconcile arelationship that you have.
Practice humility.
Focus on listening rather thantrying to win the argument or
defending your position, andthen go and be a peacemaker in
someone else's life.
So are you going to talk aboutthe secret project?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Well see, I've tried.
I've tried three episodes now,and each time you, well, you
kind of embarrass me.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Well, you're right, it's not time.
No, I'm kidding, okay.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Why would you bring that up?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
You went through that whole thing, yeah, I did bring
it up this time, so we gave ahint the last time.
Something about reading betweenthe lines yeah, so obvious
coming next month, in may.
Uh, we hopefully are going tobe releasing a study guide on
good works that encapsulates allthat we've compiled on good
(24:20):
works and the study of goodworks.
So watch for our socials forthe release date of that and
hopefully we'll get it done.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, we're really excited.
We're really really excited toget this out.
We'll have more informationcoming out.
All forms of social media.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
So that's it for today's episode of Made for Good
.
If this conversation encouragedyou or challenged you or caused
you to resolve a relationship,we'd love to hear about that.
If you've got comments orquestions, be sure to post those
on our different social mediaoutlets.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
And if you found this helpful, and we hope that you
did consider sharing it with afriend.
Until next time, seek peace, bea bridge for reconciliation and
remember you were made for this.
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!