41. Narcissism, Emotional Abuse, and Internal Family Systems

In this episode of the Mad.In.Love podcast, Dr. David Hawkins is joined by Lucas Forstmeyer, a renowned practitioner and course creator specializing in Internal Family Systems (IFS). Together, they explore the complex dynamics of narcissism, emotional abuse, and how specific patterns of behavior impact relationships.

Lucas and Dr. Hawkins dive into the nuances of the term "narcissism," discussing when it's helpful to label behaviors and when it might be more effective to focus on specific patterns instead. They explore the concept of "Protective Parts" within IFS, which are often responsible for seemingly negative behaviors as a means of shielding vulnerabilities or exiled parts of ourselves. Lucas emphasizes the importance of approaching these protective mechanisms with compassion while maintaining healthy boundaries.

The episode further unpacks the distinctions between the "Self," individual parts, and the "Healthy Adult"—a state that combines the Self with developed skills and mature aspects of one's personality. Lucas and Dr. Hawkins share practical examples and strategies on how this understanding can lead to better emotional regulation and healthier relationship dynamics.

Lastly, they address the role of inherent temperament, such as being naturally agreeable or disagreeable, and how these temperamental differences influence our perceptions of behaviors often associated with narcissism. Lucas offers insights on balancing respect for inherent traits while addressing problematic behavior patterns.

Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how IFS can be used to navigate complex relationship challenges, and learn strategies for fostering compassion towards yourself and others.

Founded by Dr. David Hawkins, the Marriage Recovery Center is the leading authority on the treatment of narcissistic and emotional abuse. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our team at [phone] or email [e-mail]

***Please note that Mad.In.Love welcomes guests with diverse viewpoints. Their beliefs do not necessarily reflect our mission at the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, but we value open dialogue and exploration.***