February 6, 2025 • 23 mins
Is it possible to nurture a strong spiritual foundation amidst the chaos of modern life? We explore this compelling question, offering insights from Genesis 35:1 to inspire families on their journey back to their faith roots. Pastor Steve offers guidance on establishing a meaningful family spiritual practice, highlighting the irreplaceable role parents play in shaping their children's beliefs through example and commitment.
We emphasize the importance of fathers embracing their roles and advocate for policy shifts that support cohesive family structures. Through candid conversation, Pastor Steve offers not just inspiration, but practical strategies for families striving to prioritize their spiritual lives in a world full of distractions. Join us for an episode filled with passion, purpose, and a call to action for future generations.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Thank you.
Call in today's divisive anddark culture, From foundational
truths and scripture to the hottopics of today's culture.
Allow this podcast to inspireand motivate you on your faith
journey.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Well, welcome back to Main Thing Podcast.
Last episode we posted, PastorSteve and Chet talked about
families, and so we're going tocontinue in that vein today, as
we talk about families returningto God.
And if I could start today,before I start asking Pastor
Steve questions, I'm going tostart with Genesis 35.1.
(00:53):
It says God told Jacob to go toBethel and settle there, build
an altar to the God who appearedto you.
It was this idea of Jacobreturning back to Bethel,
returning back to God, and so,Pastor Steve, that's what we
want to talk about today.
You guys talked a lot this lastepisode about the family, about
spiritual leadership.
What does it look like for thefamily to be that kind of
(01:18):
spiritual household that Godwould desire for us?
But for some families, they maybe wondering well, what do I do
?
We haven't been that kind ofspiritual household.
We've been asleep at the wheel,so to speak.
So I guess what we want to talkabout today is how do we return
?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
How do we get back to ?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Bethel as a spiritual family.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeah, well, we all go through seasons of life and the
pattern I've seen is that andit's not for everyone, but it's
a large pattern they come out ofhigh school, they go to college
, they get away from their faithin college, they fast forward,
they eventually get married andthen, when they start having
(02:01):
children, it dawns on them weprobably ought to be in church.
Many times they were raised inchurch.
They had a faith, but theystepped away, took it off like a
coat and laid it aside for aperiod of years.
And so I think, first of all,they've got to come to that
(02:22):
realization.
There's something missing inour life and that's the worship
of Holy God, and we have toremember the church is not the
only place you can worship, butChrist died for His church.
He established His church.
He intends us to be a viablepart of His church.
(02:43):
So I would encourage them tolook around, find a good
Bible-teaching church and justget back in there.
The old saying put one footbefore the other.
The best way is to plan on aSaturday night that you're going
to be somewhere in church onSunday morning and get up and do
(03:05):
it, and once they do it it'llbecome much easier for them.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
So you know, a lot of times we, even as a family,
sometimes we'll go through thesteps.
We get back to church.
We, you know, we start tryingto do the right things, start
trying to move away from some ofthose things that turned us
away from church in thebeginning.
But what do you think somesigns are?
Show us that we're driftingfrom God spiritually, even if we
(03:34):
are in church every Sunday.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Oh well, the drift happens so easy.
You begin to feed your mind withthings that are not healthy,
productive from a spiritualstandpoint, you begin to attend
activities that are not healthyfrom a spiritual standpoint.
(03:57):
The Bible tells us, basically,that we feed our mind and then
that becomes the person we are.
And so the old, originalcomputer term some people
pronounce it Graco, some peopleGraco garbage in, garbage out.
(04:19):
And even if you're attendingchurch, if what you're feeding
into your mind and into yourheart is garbage, you're going
to end up away from God with ahuge separation.
And so, in order to stay closeto him, you've got to be in
(04:40):
Bible study, you've got to havea prayer life, and I know that
sounds like a Sunday schoolanswer, but those are actually
your umbilical cords to yourspiritual life.
That's how we stay connected toour Savior and that's how we
stay in relationship with ourSavior Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
One of the things I've always heard, being a
parent for years now, is theimportance of having like a
family devotional time and allthat.
And I know sometimes in ourhome over the years it's awkward
at some times, sometimes it'sjust difficult.
How do you do that?
Do you have a family devotionaltime?
Is there ways to do that?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
well, I'm not the guy to ask that.
With three boys, we tried foryears to do a family devotion
and we usually end up closingthe Bibles and just fighting.
So I have great respect foranybody that can actually pull
that off.
One of the things you got to becareful of in a family devotion
(05:44):
is not to make it a I-got-youmoment.
So, as a parent, you know thechild's not cleaning the room
and you're doing the devotionand you use that to correlate
the two.
See, that's why you need toclean your room.
That will immediately turn yourkids off from devotion, and
(06:05):
mothers in particular havetrouble keeping those concepts
separated.
And so I would say, yeah, ifyou're going to have a good
family devotion time, you can'tuse it to batter each other.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
You know you got to just let God do the speaking
Well how much do you think, then, does the example we set as
parents, how critical is that asfar as leading our families
well?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Well, every survey I've seen in recent years says
that a parent is still the mostinfluential person in a child's
life.
With social media and theonslaught we've got with it, I
don't know how long that's goingto hold up.
But the thing about a parent isyou tend to get discouraged
(06:56):
because you're trying to do itthe way you believe the Lord
wants you to do it and itdoesn't look like the kid is
getting it.
They're not hearing you.
But now, having three grownchildren, it's a blessing when
you start seeing some of whatyou know you instilled of them
(07:18):
start coming out and you're likeoh, thank you, thank you, lord.
We did get a little bit inthere, you know.
So I would tell parents numberone it's not a perfect process.
You're dealing with humanbeings and so you be faithful,
you do what it is I think theLord would have you to do, which
is certainly, however it'sdefined for you Bible study,
(07:42):
prayer time, and I think Godwill honor that.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
So let's talk about the role of the father.
What does God expect of afather as far as being the
spiritual leader of hishousehold?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah, in modern-day America we've got some that are
offended by that concept.
But that's what Scriptureteaches the father is to be the
spiritual leader of the home.
He's to be the gatekeeper, he'sthe protector, he's the leader.
Dad ought to be the one makingsure we go into worship, we're
(08:17):
reading our Bible, we're inprayer.
Dad ought to be the one leadingthe family to live in a way
that's honoring to God.
And we have an epidemic inAmerica, number one, of divorce,
where you're void of fathers inthe home, and then a lot of
homes with fathers who are notthe spiritual leaders.
(08:39):
And I'm not saying a womancan't be the spiritual leader in
her home, so many are, justbecause they have to be.
But I'm telling you, I've seenit many, many times when a
husband steps up and takes therole of spiritual leader, you
can almost see his wife exhale.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
She is so thankful for him doing what it is God has
created him to do.
You know, when you look atEphesians in chapter 6, where it
talks about fathers and rolesof the father and the mother,
one of the things that passageseems to say is that we will
have a responsibility for Godbefore God for our families.
What's your thoughts on that?
Will we answer to God for ourfamily?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I absolutely believe that's true.
You know, years ago I had a guywho was a good friend of ours
leave the church.
You know, years ago I had a guywho was a good friend of ours
leave the church because I madea statement in a sermon God
hates divorce.
And he didn't tell me, he toldsomeone else.
Who does he think he isspeaking for God saying God
hates divorce?
Well, Scripture says God hatesdivorce.
(09:53):
It wasn't my opinion, it waswhat God says, and that doesn't
mean divorce can't be forgiven,but God hates the concept of
breaking the covenant union.
So I think fathers need tounderstand God has given them a
(10:18):
place in the development oftheir children, and every study
that I've ever read says thatthe most healthy children come
from two-parent households wherea mother and a father are both
engaged.
They tend to not drop out ofschool.
They tend to do better on tests.
Every facet of a child's lifehas a better opportunity when
(10:39):
they come from a home wherethere's a strong father and a
loving mother doing what it isGod designed them to do.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, you know, we have an event here we've done
with our children's ministry thelast few years where it's like
a guy's weekend for fathers andsons, and anytime we set that up
I always think you know what isthat like for a family without
a dad there.
You know what's it like to be amom saying, man, I wish I had a
(11:09):
husband there to lead their sonlike that.
So as a church, how do wesupport, you know, that mom
who's man?
She wants to do the right thing.
She wants her children to growup loving Christ, you know.
But I know it's a much harderroad for her.
How do we support her as achurch?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Well, we've got to be willing to find men in our
church that are willing to stepup, sponsor that child, be a
helper to that mom.
You know I tell these men allthe time I have these hunting
camps you need to pick a childand take them hunting.
You need to pick a child.
We got tons of men in ourchurch with boats.
(11:47):
You need to pick a child andtake them fishing.
You know so you don't have tobecome their actual dad, you
just got to become somebody intheir life that cares, and you'd
be amazed the impact it'll have.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You know, I think back to when I was a children's
minister all those years ago.
I can remember ladies who werein our ministry volunteering,
coming to me and sayingsomething to the effect of I've
got to stop volunteering inchildren's ministry because my
husband won't come to churchunless I sit with him.
Oh, that burned me up so bad,you know, to think that was
keeping somebody from doing whatGod called them to do.
(12:26):
But let's say there's a guy outthere listening to us and he
does want to be a spiritualleader, but he has no idea how
to do it.
What would you tell him?
How do you start if you want tobe that spiritual leader in the
house?
Yeah, I do you start if youwant to be that spiritual leader
in the house.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Yeah, I think you come by the church and you see
one of the ministers and you say, listen, can you help me with
this?
And then one of us, or whereverhe goes to church, that pastor
can begin to give him somedirection as to how to do that.
Yeah, so there's no shame inasking for help as to how to do
that.
Yeah, so there's no shame inasking for help.
(12:59):
In fact, I think it would be apositive thing for any pastor to
have one of his men to walk inthe door and say I want to lead
my family spiritually.
Can you help me?
Absolutely, we can help youwith that.
We'd be excited to see that.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
We'd be excited to do that to see that We'd be
excited to do that.
In that last episode in thepodcast you touched on some of
those things that we've madepriority over the years with
families.
That shouldn't be priorityThings like sports and social
media and the camps and allthose different things.
As families, as fathers, asmothers, how can we prepare our
(13:40):
kids not to be sucked in by allthese things?
How can we put those in theirproper place?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
I guess you could say yeah well, number one, you're
teaching them verbally, butyou're also teaching them
actionably in the things you do.
Actionably in the things you do.
The old saying they learn morefrom what you do than what you
say.
Or the old saying show me asermon, don't preach me a sermon
(14:06):
.
And that's as true in thefamily as anywhere.
I know you know you can't tellyour kids don't drink and then
you hit the bar every nightafter work.
It won't have a legitimateeffect on your child.
But for example, in my home,coming from a home of alcoholics
(14:27):
, as a child growing up I'vealways told my children we don't
drink.
Likewise, there's never beenalcohol in my home other than
rubbing alcohol, you know.
And so we've tried to live byexample of what we taught them
(14:47):
also.
So we've tried to live byexample of what we taught them
also.
So if you want it to take,they've got to know you really
believe what you're telling themor it's wasted words.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, so is there a place for things that we want to
do Not so much alcohol, I'mtalking about more like the
sports, the fishing camps, thethings we do as families.
Is there a way to do those butstill prioritize God?
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Absolutely.
It's only in the last fewdecades we've gotten to this
place where sports andentertainment and leisure has
become the new God.
You know, we've got one youngfamily in our church and they do
the sports thing.
They have a son that playstravel baseball.
(15:37):
They have a daughter that Ithink does travel, dance or
cheerleading or something.
They're all over the countryand I have known them to drive
all night to be back in churchon Sunday morning, and so what
they're saying to their childrenis, hey, we've done this, we're
(15:57):
glad to do this, but we'regoing to be in church in the
morning.
And so I think the question isthis so many of these things are
not bad things, they're justnot the best things.
So a parent has to askthemselves what is the best
(16:18):
thing for our family?
What do we need to do?
And sometimes and I know for afact, you can do it because I've
done it.
Sometimes it's brutal on yourschedule, it's tiring, but you
can do both.
(16:45):
If you're a family that's asports family, I promise you you
don't have to play in atournament every weekend for
them to get better.
Pick those things, prioritizethose things, with the most
important thing being number oneon the list and you'd be
surprised.
We have a family here that hasseason tickets to the Saints and
(17:09):
when the Saints play at homeand kick off at 12 o'clock they
go to the game.
But they go to First BaptistNew Orleans and go to church
over there before they go to thegame.
So there's ways to say to yourchildren this is the best thing,
even if you're not in your ownhome church this weekend.
(17:32):
Let's make church a priority,because what families are saying
to their children is it's notimportant, and we're going to
have a whole generation beforelong that claim to be Christians
, that see no need for anythingthat comes with that term the
(17:54):
church, the fellowship, any ofthat Well, you know you talk
about the church being apriority with the activities you
do.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
That brings up a good question.
You know we live in a societynow that I would say church is
not that important.
It's a nice thing if you wantto go there.
It's a nice place to take yourkids if you want moral training
for them.
Why is it so important for usto bring our families to church
regularly, every Sunday ifpossible?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Well, what you're doing is you're putting a moral
foundation in your church.
I knew a guy 30 years ago whowas in church every Sunday.
He was not a Christian and Iasked him.
I said why do you go to churchevery week if you're not a
Christian?
(18:44):
He said because I believe inthe importance of the moral
teaching that my kids aregetting there.
Okay, so here was a guy whodidn't even know Jesus, but he
understood the need in hischildren for a good moral
foundation.
Unfortunately, we've got a lotof Christians that don't
(19:05):
understand.
It's not about just attending aservice and saying we went to
church this weekend.
What you get at church is notjust your spiritual foundation,
it's the fabric that this nationwas founded on.
We were founded on a moralfabric, and the reason we're
having all the problems we'rehaving in our country right now
(19:29):
is we've raised now severalgenerations of people with no
moral foundation.
And so, yeah, I have no problemkilling you because life is not
precious to me.
I have no problem stealing fromthe local drugstore, because
that's not stealing, that's owedto me anyway.
And so if we're going tosurvive as a society, let alone
(19:56):
a church, we have got to impressupon young families, the
importance of being in theLord's house.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, you know, I've heard over the years.
I've heard different parents atdifferent times over the years
say something to the effect ofwell, I just believe it's not
right for me to tell my kidswhat to believe.
They need to make that decisionon their own.
So, in other words, they didn'tfeel it was morally right to
make their kids go to church, tomake their kids be trained up
(20:27):
in the way of Christ.
What would you say to that one?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I want to be careful here.
I would say that's one of thesaddest statements I've ever
heard.
You were entrusted by holy Godwith this precious life and you
don't let that kid to decidewhat they're going to eat.
Usually, you won't let themdecide when they're going to eat
(20:52):
.
You won't let them decidewhether to bathe or not.
You'll pick their friends forthem to play with.
You'll pick their clothes forthem.
But something as important astheir eternal security,
something as important as thefabric of their faith in God,
(21:13):
you're going to leave totally tochance, and so it's the most
irresponsible statement thatI've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Any last thoughts on families, on spiritual
leadership, on your family, Anylast thoughts on families on?
Speaker 3 (21:27):
spiritual leadership on your family.
Yeah, our families in Americaare designed to be a part.
It started with the New Deal,with the Johnson administration,
and we reward families that donot have a dad in the home.
We pay their bills, we givethem food supplements, we do
(21:49):
whatever, and that's a wonderfulthing.
But here's the problem Most ofthese people societally are
considered the working poor, andso they have no choice but to
live apart if they're going toget the help they need to
survive.
And so our government if thatdad comes home, he lives in the
(22:11):
family, he's doing what he oughtto do they cut off that
assistance to help them.
And I think if our governmentcould wake up and understand
it's okay to help the workingpoor they don't have to be
divorced to do that.
But I know people personallywho have divorced so the mother
(22:32):
could get weak for the baby,things like this.
And so as a government, we needto wake up, you know, and dads
need to understand that the rolethat God has given them in the
home is vital.
It's not something nice to do,it has to be done, and so we've
(22:57):
got several generations nowraised without fathers in the
home and we wonder how we gotwhere we are.
We need our dads to step up,and I know many that have, and
they're doing a wonderful job.
We've just got to add to thenumbers, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
All right.
Well, I appreciate your timeAbsolutely, If you were
listening.
Thank you so much for beingwith us for Episode 10 as
families, and we hope to catchup with you next time, If you
were listening.
Thank you so much for beingwith us for episode 10 as
families, and we hope to catchup with you next time.
Thank you.
Call in today's divisive anddark culture, From foundational
truths and scripture to the hottopics of today's culture.
Allow this podcast to inspireand motivate you on your faith
journey.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Well, welcome back to Main Thing Podcast.
Last episode we posted, PastorSteve and Chet talked about
families, and so we're going tocontinue in that vein today, as
we talk about families returningto God.
And if I could start today,before I start asking Pastor
Steve questions, I'm going tostart with Genesis 35.1.
(00:53):
It says God told Jacob to go toBethel and settle there, build
an altar to the God who appearedto you.
It was this idea of Jacobreturning back to Bethel,
returning back to God, and so,Pastor Steve, that's what we
want to talk about today.
You guys talked a lot this lastepisode about the family, about
spiritual leadership.
What does it look like for thefamily to be that kind of
(01:18):
spiritual household that Godwould desire for us?
But for some families, they maybe wondering well, what do I do
?
We haven't been that kind ofspiritual household.
We've been asleep at the wheel,so to speak.
So I guess what we want to talkabout today is how do we return
?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
How do we get back to ?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Bethel as a spiritual family.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeah, well, we all go through seasons of life and the
pattern I've seen is that andit's not for everyone, but it's
a large pattern they come out ofhigh school, they go to college
, they get away from their faithin college, they fast forward,
they eventually get married andthen, when they start having
(02:01):
children, it dawns on them weprobably ought to be in church.
Many times they were raised inchurch.
They had a faith, but theystepped away, took it off like a
coat and laid it aside for aperiod of years.
And so I think, first of all,they've got to come to that
(02:22):
realization.
There's something missing inour life and that's the worship
of Holy God, and we have toremember the church is not the
only place you can worship, butChrist died for His church.
He established His church.
He intends us to be a viablepart of His church.
(02:43):
So I would encourage them tolook around, find a good
Bible-teaching church and justget back in there.
The old saying put one footbefore the other.
The best way is to plan on aSaturday night that you're going
to be somewhere in church onSunday morning and get up and do
(03:05):
it, and once they do it it'llbecome much easier for them.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
So you know, a lot of times we, even as a family,
sometimes we'll go through thesteps.
We get back to church.
We, you know, we start tryingto do the right things, start
trying to move away from some ofthose things that turned us
away from church in thebeginning.
But what do you think somesigns are?
Show us that we're driftingfrom God spiritually, even if we
(03:34):
are in church every Sunday.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Oh well, the drift happens so easy.
You begin to feed your mind withthings that are not healthy,
productive from a spiritualstandpoint, you begin to attend
activities that are not healthyfrom a spiritual standpoint.
(03:57):
The Bible tells us, basically,that we feed our mind and then
that becomes the person we are.
And so the old, originalcomputer term some people
pronounce it Graco, some peopleGraco garbage in, garbage out.
(04:19):
And even if you're attendingchurch, if what you're feeding
into your mind and into yourheart is garbage, you're going
to end up away from God with ahuge separation.
And so, in order to stay closeto him, you've got to be in
(04:40):
Bible study, you've got to havea prayer life, and I know that
sounds like a Sunday schoolanswer, but those are actually
your umbilical cords to yourspiritual life.
That's how we stay connected toour Savior and that's how we
stay in relationship with ourSavior Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
One of the things I've always heard, being a
parent for years now, is theimportance of having like a
family devotional time and allthat.
And I know sometimes in ourhome over the years it's awkward
at some times, sometimes it'sjust difficult.
How do you do that?
Do you have a family devotionaltime?
Is there ways to do that?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
well, I'm not the guy to ask that.
With three boys, we tried foryears to do a family devotion
and we usually end up closingthe Bibles and just fighting.
So I have great respect foranybody that can actually pull
that off.
One of the things you got to becareful of in a family devotion
(05:44):
is not to make it a I-got-youmoment.
So, as a parent, you know thechild's not cleaning the room
and you're doing the devotionand you use that to correlate
the two.
See, that's why you need toclean your room.
That will immediately turn yourkids off from devotion, and
(06:05):
mothers in particular havetrouble keeping those concepts
separated.
And so I would say, yeah, ifyou're going to have a good
family devotion time, you can'tuse it to batter each other.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
You know you got to just let God do the speaking
Well how much do you think, then, does the example we set as
parents, how critical is that asfar as leading our families
well?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Well, every survey I've seen in recent years says
that a parent is still the mostinfluential person in a child's
life.
With social media and theonslaught we've got with it, I
don't know how long that's goingto hold up.
But the thing about a parent isyou tend to get discouraged
(06:56):
because you're trying to do itthe way you believe the Lord
wants you to do it and itdoesn't look like the kid is
getting it.
They're not hearing you.
But now, having three grownchildren, it's a blessing when
you start seeing some of whatyou know you instilled of them
(07:18):
start coming out and you're likeoh, thank you, thank you, lord.
We did get a little bit inthere, you know.
So I would tell parents numberone it's not a perfect process.
You're dealing with humanbeings and so you be faithful,
you do what it is I think theLord would have you to do, which
is certainly, however it'sdefined for you Bible study,
(07:42):
prayer time, and I think Godwill honor that.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
So let's talk about the role of the father.
What does God expect of afather as far as being the
spiritual leader of hishousehold?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah, in modern-day America we've got some that are
offended by that concept.
But that's what Scriptureteaches the father is to be the
spiritual leader of the home.
He's to be the gatekeeper, he'sthe protector, he's the leader.
Dad ought to be the one makingsure we go into worship, we're
(08:17):
reading our Bible, we're inprayer.
Dad ought to be the one leadingthe family to live in a way
that's honoring to God.
And we have an epidemic inAmerica, number one, of divorce,
where you're void of fathers inthe home, and then a lot of
homes with fathers who are notthe spiritual leaders.
(08:39):
And I'm not saying a womancan't be the spiritual leader in
her home, so many are, justbecause they have to be.
But I'm telling you, I've seenit many, many times when a
husband steps up and takes therole of spiritual leader, you
can almost see his wife exhale.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
She is so thankful for him doing what it is God has
created him to do.
You know, when you look atEphesians in chapter 6, where it
talks about fathers and rolesof the father and the mother,
one of the things that passageseems to say is that we will
have a responsibility for Godbefore God for our families.
What's your thoughts on that?
Will we answer to God for ourfamily?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I absolutely believe that's true.
You know, years ago I had a guywho was a good friend of ours
leave the church.
You know, years ago I had a guywho was a good friend of ours
leave the church because I madea statement in a sermon God
hates divorce.
And he didn't tell me, he toldsomeone else.
Who does he think he isspeaking for God saying God
hates divorce?
Well, Scripture says God hatesdivorce.
(09:53):
It wasn't my opinion, it waswhat God says, and that doesn't
mean divorce can't be forgiven,but God hates the concept of
breaking the covenant union.
So I think fathers need tounderstand God has given them a
(10:18):
place in the development oftheir children, and every study
that I've ever read says thatthe most healthy children come
from two-parent households wherea mother and a father are both
engaged.
They tend to not drop out ofschool.
They tend to do better on tests.
Every facet of a child's lifehas a better opportunity when
(10:39):
they come from a home wherethere's a strong father and a
loving mother doing what it isGod designed them to do.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, you know, we have an event here we've done
with our children's ministry thelast few years where it's like
a guy's weekend for fathers andsons, and anytime we set that up
I always think you know what isthat like for a family without
a dad there.
You know what's it like to be amom saying, man, I wish I had a
(11:09):
husband there to lead their sonlike that.
So as a church, how do wesupport, you know, that mom
who's man?
She wants to do the right thing.
She wants her children to growup loving Christ, you know.
But I know it's a much harderroad for her.
How do we support her as achurch?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Well, we've got to be willing to find men in our
church that are willing to stepup, sponsor that child, be a
helper to that mom.
You know I tell these men allthe time I have these hunting
camps you need to pick a childand take them hunting.
You need to pick a child.
We got tons of men in ourchurch with boats.
(11:47):
You need to pick a child andtake them fishing.
You know so you don't have tobecome their actual dad, you
just got to become somebody intheir life that cares, and you'd
be amazed the impact it'll have.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
You know, I think back to when I was a children's
minister all those years ago.
I can remember ladies who werein our ministry volunteering,
coming to me and sayingsomething to the effect of I've
got to stop volunteering inchildren's ministry because my
husband won't come to churchunless I sit with him.
Oh, that burned me up so bad,you know, to think that was
keeping somebody from doing whatGod called them to do.
(12:26):
But let's say there's a guy outthere listening to us and he
does want to be a spiritualleader, but he has no idea how
to do it.
What would you tell him?
How do you start if you want tobe that spiritual leader in the
house?
Yeah, I do you start if youwant to be that spiritual leader
in the house.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Yeah, I think you come by the church and you see
one of the ministers and you say, listen, can you help me with
this?
And then one of us, or whereverhe goes to church, that pastor
can begin to give him somedirection as to how to do that.
Yeah, so there's no shame inasking for help as to how to do
that.
Yeah, so there's no shame inasking for help.
(12:59):
In fact, I think it would be apositive thing for any pastor to
have one of his men to walk inthe door and say I want to lead
my family spiritually.
Can you help me?
Absolutely, we can help youwith that.
We'd be excited to see that.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
We'd be excited to do that to see that We'd be
excited to do that.
In that last episode in thepodcast you touched on some of
those things that we've madepriority over the years with
families.
That shouldn't be priorityThings like sports and social
media and the camps and allthose different things.
As families, as fathers, asmothers, how can we prepare our
(13:40):
kids not to be sucked in by allthese things?
How can we put those in theirproper place?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
I guess you could say yeah well, number one, you're
teaching them verbally, butyou're also teaching them
actionably in the things you do.
Actionably in the things you do.
The old saying they learn morefrom what you do than what you
say.
Or the old saying show me asermon, don't preach me a sermon
(14:06):
.
And that's as true in thefamily as anywhere.
I know you know you can't tellyour kids don't drink and then
you hit the bar every nightafter work.
It won't have a legitimateeffect on your child.
But for example, in my home,coming from a home of alcoholics
(14:27):
, as a child growing up I'vealways told my children we don't
drink.
Likewise, there's never beenalcohol in my home other than
rubbing alcohol, you know.
And so we've tried to live byexample of what we taught them
(14:47):
also.
So we've tried to live byexample of what we taught them
also.
So if you want it to take,they've got to know you really
believe what you're telling themor it's wasted words.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, so is there a place for things that we want to
do Not so much alcohol, I'mtalking about more like the
sports, the fishing camps, thethings we do as families.
Is there a way to do those butstill prioritize God?
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Absolutely.
It's only in the last fewdecades we've gotten to this
place where sports andentertainment and leisure has
become the new God.
You know, we've got one youngfamily in our church and they do
the sports thing.
They have a son that playstravel baseball.
(15:37):
They have a daughter that Ithink does travel, dance or
cheerleading or something.
They're all over the countryand I have known them to drive
all night to be back in churchon Sunday morning, and so what
they're saying to their childrenis, hey, we've done this, we're
(15:57):
glad to do this, but we'regoing to be in church in the
morning.
And so I think the question isthis so many of these things are
not bad things, they're justnot the best things.
So a parent has to askthemselves what is the best
(16:18):
thing for our family?
What do we need to do?
And sometimes and I know for afact, you can do it because I've
done it.
Sometimes it's brutal on yourschedule, it's tiring, but you
can do both.
(16:45):
If you're a family that's asports family, I promise you you
don't have to play in atournament every weekend for
them to get better.
Pick those things, prioritizethose things, with the most
important thing being number oneon the list and you'd be
surprised.
We have a family here that hasseason tickets to the Saints and
(17:09):
when the Saints play at homeand kick off at 12 o'clock they
go to the game.
But they go to First BaptistNew Orleans and go to church
over there before they go to thegame.
So there's ways to say to yourchildren this is the best thing,
even if you're not in your ownhome church this weekend.
(17:32):
Let's make church a priority,because what families are saying
to their children is it's notimportant, and we're going to
have a whole generation beforelong that claim to be Christians
, that see no need for anythingthat comes with that term the
(17:54):
church, the fellowship, any ofthat Well, you know you talk
about the church being apriority with the activities you
do.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
That brings up a good question.
You know we live in a societynow that I would say church is
not that important.
It's a nice thing if you wantto go there.
It's a nice place to take yourkids if you want moral training
for them.
Why is it so important for usto bring our families to church
regularly, every Sunday ifpossible?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Well, what you're doing is you're putting a moral
foundation in your church.
I knew a guy 30 years ago whowas in church every Sunday.
He was not a Christian and Iasked him.
I said why do you go to churchevery week if you're not a
Christian?
(18:44):
He said because I believe inthe importance of the moral
teaching that my kids aregetting there.
Okay, so here was a guy whodidn't even know Jesus, but he
understood the need in hischildren for a good moral
foundation.
Unfortunately, we've got a lotof Christians that don't
(19:05):
understand.
It's not about just attending aservice and saying we went to
church this weekend.
What you get at church is notjust your spiritual foundation,
it's the fabric that this nationwas founded on.
We were founded on a moralfabric, and the reason we're
having all the problems we'rehaving in our country right now
(19:29):
is we've raised now severalgenerations of people with no
moral foundation.
And so, yeah, I have no problemkilling you because life is not
precious to me.
I have no problem stealing fromthe local drugstore, because
that's not stealing, that's owedto me anyway.
And so if we're going tosurvive as a society, let alone
(19:56):
a church, we have got to impressupon young families, the
importance of being in theLord's house.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Yeah, you know, I've heard over the years.
I've heard different parents atdifferent times over the years
say something to the effect ofwell, I just believe it's not
right for me to tell my kidswhat to believe.
They need to make that decisionon their own.
So, in other words, they didn'tfeel it was morally right to
make their kids go to church, tomake their kids be trained up
(20:27):
in the way of Christ.
What would you say to that one?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I want to be careful here.
I would say that's one of thesaddest statements I've ever
heard.
You were entrusted by holy Godwith this precious life and you
don't let that kid to decidewhat they're going to eat.
Usually, you won't let themdecide when they're going to eat
(20:52):
.
You won't let them decidewhether to bathe or not.
You'll pick their friends forthem to play with.
You'll pick their clothes forthem.
But something as important astheir eternal security,
something as important as thefabric of their faith in God,
(21:13):
you're going to leave totally tochance, and so it's the most
irresponsible statement thatI've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Any last thoughts on families, on spiritual
leadership, on your family, Anylast thoughts on families on?
Speaker 3 (21:27):
spiritual leadership on your family.
Yeah, our families in Americaare designed to be a part.
It started with the New Deal,with the Johnson administration,
and we reward families that donot have a dad in the home.
We pay their bills, we givethem food supplements, we do
(21:49):
whatever, and that's a wonderfulthing.
But here's the problem Most ofthese people societally are
considered the working poor, andso they have no choice but to
live apart if they're going toget the help they need to
survive.
And so our government if thatdad comes home, he lives in the
(22:11):
family, he's doing what he oughtto do they cut off that
assistance to help them.
And I think if our governmentcould wake up and understand
it's okay to help the workingpoor they don't have to be
divorced to do that.
But I know people personallywho have divorced so the mother
(22:32):
could get weak for the baby,things like this.
And so as a government, we needto wake up, you know, and dads
need to understand that the rolethat God has given them in the
home is vital.
It's not something nice to do,it has to be done, and so we've
(22:57):
got several generations nowraised without fathers in the
home and we wonder how we gotwhere we are.
We need our dads to step up,and I know many that have, and
they're doing a wonderful job.
We've just got to add to thenumbers, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
All right.
Well, I appreciate your timeAbsolutely, If you were
listening.
Thank you so much for beingwith us for Episode 10 as
families, and we hope to catchup with you next time, If you
were listening.
Thank you so much for beingwith us for episode 10 as
families, and we hope to catchup with you next time.
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