August 8, 2024 • 32 mins
What if the shortage of foster homes could be solved by one inspiring story? Join us as we tackle the foster care crisis, sharing the compelling journey of Beth Dock-Henschen. Learn how a close friend's impact led Beth to open her heart and home to foster children. Her experiences reveal the complexities and emotional challenges of foster parenting, while also highlighting the profound rewards.
Beth's candid reflections underscore the perseverance and support required to make a difference. We dive deep into the systemic issues of frequent moves and the critical need for more foster parents in states like Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Indiana, and California. Beth's story brings to light the harsh realities foster children face and the resilience required to provide a loving, stable environment amidst these challenges.
As we explore the broader foster care landscape, we discuss the ideal of reuniting children with their families, the financial and training constraints on foster parents, and the joys of witnessing a child's growth. Our conversation emphasizes the urgent need for better support systems, adequate compensation, and community involvement. Don't miss our call to action and a preview of our next episode focused on the Ross Foster Care Program. Tune in and discover how you can make a difference.
We’d love to hear from! Send us a message or topic idea.
Stay up to date on Make the Leap by following us on our website, rosspodcast.com, Facebook and LinkedIn.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Thank you.
I'm Brad Constance here withGeorge Grayup.
George, what is our topic fortoday?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Thank you, brad.
Today's episode is a follow-upon a previous podcast that we
did regarding foster care andfoster children.
The follow-up today deals moreor less with the lack of
available homes for fosterchildren.
Majority of children in fostercare come from environments of
abuse and neglect, typicallycreated by biological parents
(00:55):
who have fallen victim to drugaddiction, prison or death.
The need for foster parents aregreater than ever.
The US Department of Health andHuman Services found the number
of children entering fostercare grew for five consecutive
years.
States are increasinglyexperiencing an acute shortage
of competent foster parents andscramble to find places for the
(01:17):
thousands uprooted from theirhomes.
This national crisis in thesearch for foster parents stems
from inadequate training andlack of support to drive
approximately half of all fosterparents to quit fostering
children after their first year.
As an example, many statescontinue to struggle with
finding enough parents.
Georgia and Tennessee childwelfare workers fight to find
(01:39):
homes for the increasing numberof children in care.
The increasing number ofchildren in care.
In Texas, lack of fosterparents result in some children
from foster care sleeping inchild welfare offices.
In Indiana, where the number ofchildren being placed into
foster care has reached anall-time high, the state is
scrambling to find more fosterparents to care for the
increased number of childrenneeding a home On the West Coast
(02:01):
.
California faces the samechallenge, as the shortage of
foster parents has grown torecord numbers.
The number of licensed fosterhomes dropped last year in more
than half of the states, and insome states the drop was
profound.
For example, south Carolinalost more than 61% of its
available foster homes last year.
Meanwhile, more childrencontinue to enter the child
(02:23):
welfare system.
Other areas of the nation facethe challenge of both recruiting
foster parents and of retention, or the keeping of strong
foster parents.
The turnover rate for fosterparents ranges from 30% to 50%.
Thus, the 30% to 50% of fosterparents make a decision to no
longer be a foster parent homefor children in need.
(02:44):
As a result, with the increasein children in foster care
paired with the decrease ofnumber of foster parents, the
end result is simply that thereare not enough homes for
children in need to be placed in, or a child is moved from one
home to another, and so forthand so forth.
So I want to use an examplebefore we begin our conversation
today.
(03:04):
This example really is atestimonial by a foster kid who
has aged out of the system.
I'm going to quote it verbatim.
I was probably like 13 yearsold and we spent hours upon
hours inside the actualChildren's Services Agency
(03:25):
intellectual children's servicesagency.
So in that lobby you see abunch of different kids with a
bunch of trash bags just sittingthere and waiting and waiting.
Then you get out of school andit's like, oh no, you can't go
back there.
You have some caseworker thereto pick you up and you have to
go to the agency.
They have completely packed upall your things in trash bags.
You don't know what they left,what they missed, what they
decided to disregard or discard,and that in itself was very
(03:48):
demeaning.
You lose your sense of autonomy, you lose your humanity, you
feel like you don't have anycontrol over your life.
End of the quote.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Thanks, george.
Now it's time to introduce ourguest.
Kristen normally does this, butshe's unable to join us today,
so I get to take over.
Today, we're joined by BethDockhenschen.
Beth is an advisor on Ross'sCareer Services team.
She helps our students throughexternship and post-graduation
employment.
Beth lives in Fort Wayne,indiana, and has a passion for
extending a helping hand toanyone in need.
Her caring heart called her tobecome a foster parent many
(04:20):
years ago, where she hosted atherapeutic home for children
with special needs.
After meeting her now wife,alexis, in 2015, beth took a
break from fostering, but in2021, the two decided to open
their home to children onceagain.
When she's not at work, bethloves to enjoy her free time by
playing pickleball, goingfishing, taking her two dogs for
car rides and exploring withher wife.
A true art enthusiast at heart,she finds peace in painting and
(04:43):
taking photos of her three cats.
You can always find her readyto visit with loved ones too.
She offers an infectious laugh,quick wit, a listening ear and
a pure heart filled with lovefor those around her.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Beth, thank you so much for joining us today.
So as we begin, I'd like you tomaybe take a few minutes talk
about your background, yourexperience and your journey into
being a foster parent.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Of course and thank you so much for having me on
today my journey as a fosterparent.
In high school, my best friendwas in foster system for a year
or more, so that's when I knew Ihad to grow up and be a helper.
In 2015 is when I first startedas a special needs foster home.
I put it back down in 2019 andpicked it back up in 2021.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So talk through, I guess from my end of it, talk
through how you get involved.
I guess it came on your radarthrough your friend, but how did
you get involved?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
I decided that my community contribution it just
couldn't be through my work.
I needed more than that and Ikept searching and searching for
more ways that I can helpimpact on a large scale and
nothing was coming.
And then foster care did mybest friend.
She works for DCS and she isthe licensure person, so the
(06:00):
person that comes to your houseand goes over how to become a
foster parent.
You go through all the trainingclasses CPR and bloodborne
pathogens and such to become alicensed home, and that's how I
started.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So, before you get that phase where they try to
qualify or make sure that youcan be a foster parent, what are
the initial steps that you tookto kind of research it, look
into it, get comfortable with it.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I Google a lot of things like what is foster care
and why would I want to do that,and what thoughts are going
through parents' head as theyhave someone's child living in
your home, how are you going toadapt to their culture, and
those kinds of things.
So I started searching fromthere.
I did all my homework and foundthat it just matches my heart
(06:50):
and that's why I decided to doit.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
So did you see any like data about how many people
quit the amount of turnover, anddid that cause you to pause at
all?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I know the amount of turnover and right now I'm going
through it, but I'm not goingto quit and I understand why
people turn over.
We are about to reunify ourdaughter that we've had for two
years now and it's verydifficult.
So, yes, I'm aware of all thehard things and for me it was
just letting those hard thingsgo so that I can help at least
(07:25):
one.
And then one turned into eight.
That's how many we've had sofar.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You've had eight foster kids, so talk through
that.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, so my special needs were the hard to love, but
in my heart it's just you haveto know where to look for things
on the Internet to be able tocut through it sometimes and
it's very difficult.
A lot of perseverance, a lot oftalking with the GAL, a
(07:57):
guardian at Lytton or yourcaseworker If they're good, they
will definitely find supportgroups for you and help you with
your struggle.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
So was your first foster kid, a kid with
disabilities or special needs.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah, my first foster son was 18, and he was a sex
offender.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
That's a huge, I don't know what the word to call
it.
You're diving in a deep end onday one.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
You found the bit right.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Did you have a choice , beth, or they assigned to you,
and it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Well, they'll call you and I'm not the type that
wants to listen to theirbehaviors or this, or they have
this about them.
That all doesn't matter.
It's a child in need and that'swhy you signed up for it.
So I took the phone call andsaid come on, let's go.
A loving home and somestability and some structure
(08:52):
will be able to help this person.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I got into this conversation because of Kristen.
This was never on my radar.
Kristen puts it on my radar andon our third episode about
foster kids, we will talk alittle bit about Ross and what
Ross is trying to do.
So I am learning as I go.
Process is kids getting movedso many times, and I'm going to
(09:19):
give you a couple of examples ina minute.
And then the second is the highturnover.
Parents do not stick around.
There's just not enough homes.
Kids are sleeping in welfareoffices, Some of them are
sleeping in hotels, or some ofthem are told to stay in the
hospital longer, a week or twolonger, until they find them a
home when they are not feelingwell or injured.
So I want to try to encourageand promote individuals who are
(09:43):
thinking about being a fosterparent.
So if somebody listens to hereand listen to Beth and says,
yeah, my first child was aspecial need kids with your
eight foster kids, is theresomething you can share that
balances sometimes the challengeyou had to go through with your
first foster kid?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
The training that's involved, you do get like you
are prepared for the topics thatare brought up.
You're not necessarily preparedfor the behavior that happens
in your home, but that trainingwill give you a little push to
start that conversation with thechild and help them.
You're never left alone.
(10:27):
You never feel on your own withthe agencies behind you.
You always can call them.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And then, as you went to your second and third, what
was those kids like?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
second and third, what was those kids like?
So those kids we had two monthsthey were under.
They were five, seven and nine,and one of them was a special
needs child.
Their parents were in theprocess of rehabilitating their
lives from drugs.
(10:59):
So those two months that we hadthem, it was just getting them
to school, new routines andfinding out the things that they
love to do and keeping themengaged with reading and
activities so they stay focusedwith us.
They keep kids busy.
It's a good thing.
They'll love you and they lovethat you care about their
(11:21):
interests and they'll be great.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Were they moved along the way, or were you their
first foster parent?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
I was their second foster home.
Mom was having some troublewith drug abuse but she did
rehabilitate her life and shegot her three boys back.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
What's the next one?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
So I'll tell you about the most recent.
It's most relevant.
I had a child.
They're two of eight, so I havetwo siblings of eight.
Their youngest brother has beenplaced 18 times in its behaviors
that these foster parentsfighting in school, foster
parents fighting in school,drugs at home, sneaking things
(12:03):
in those foster parents.
They have an out and if they'renot ready to bring all that on
then they can move somebodyagain and that's why you see a
lot of foster kids from home tohome.
I don't believe that we'rereally trained that deep into
how to help a child that is so,just so angry about what life
(12:25):
has handed to him.
Our foster daughter has been inseven different homes and she's
different and she would tell usabout how one person left her
at McDonald's after a BowenCenter therapy because they just
didn't like her, and one saidthat she wasn't a good fit for
(12:47):
their home and moved her thenext week.
The others we really didn'ttalk about much because I could
tell it was a trigger for her.
So we just kind of dismissed itand let her know that we are
going to be a forever fixture inher life.
Regardless of what home she's inor collaborative care, she can
always reach out.
(13:07):
Her little sister is seven andshe's being reunited with her
father next week, the 19th.
We've had her for two years nowand that's the hard part.
This is where you're talkingabout.
Why do foster parents not do itagain?
It's a grieving process rightnow for my wife and I.
(13:29):
We've loved this child andwe've brought her from where she
was to where she is now, whichis a significant difference in
all ways of her life, sociallyand mentally and it's hard it's
just hard to not have thatcontrol anymore to make sure she
stays safe.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
So, beth, I am going to come to the stress and the
angst that the parents gothrough and when they wake up
one day and say I'm not doingthis anymore.
But before that, I want tocontinue to talk about kids
being moved from home to home.
It's a process I can't get ahandle on.
(14:07):
I mean, we spend $30 billion onthe entire system, so to speak,
and the system seems to bebroken.
As I was preparing for today,on Sunday I read this
testimonial and I'm going tosummarize it.
It's different than the one Iused at the beginning.
This is a gentleman who, agedout of the system, still uses
(14:28):
the last name of the woman thatadopted him in grade school but
then gave him back and turnedhim back to the system.
His journey from when he wasthree until he turned 14, he
bounced to 80 different fosterhomes.
When he turned 18, he foundhimself homeless and resorting
to really a life of crime forlack of option.
(14:51):
At 20, he now has a home.
His home, unfortunately, is aprison in Kansas.
He says I had plans for thefuture and I kind of ruined it.
This is a quote from him, as heis in prison, serving eight year
sentence.
But how could I be a good kidwith all the horrible things
(15:14):
happening?
And it just and as I kind oflooked at it, it really seems
that this is he's not theexception that these kids on
average are moved 10 to 12 times.
On average, some are movedhundreds of times.
(15:34):
You know there's 23,000 kidsthat come out of the system
every year, kids that come outof the system every year, and
many of them have been movedmultiple times and over.
More of them go to prison thanactually go to college.
What is the driver behind themovement?
Like what?
What is the upside?
I guess that makes thedecisions from the welfare team
(15:57):
to move these kids from home tohome versus reunification.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
That's a great question.
I couldn't answer whatsituation or circumstance that
their parents are in so theycouldn't go back home.
I don't understand.
Like I get the foster kid partwhere they've probably been
taught all their life theirworth is nothing and the only
control they have is by aself-sabotage, if you will, and
(16:24):
moving from house to house wherethey'll tell their foster
parent they hate them and theydon't want to live there.
By being shown some structure,by being shown love and
affections, they don't.
They're not used to that.
Um, we've experienced that thesame Foster parents have an
option.
All they have to do is write atwo-week notice and they don't
(16:45):
have to work with their fosterplacement anymore.
And I think that's just tooeasy for a lot of families to do
and I think that there shouldbe more behind that in some
professional therapist orsomeone.
Look at those dynamics beforethey're moved again, because
it's as simple as a two weeknotice.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You know, one of the really shocking statistics is
again, as I was getting readyfor today 4,000 foster kids
every year from the 23,000 thatage out end up homeless after
leaving the system, and many ofthem end up in crime, sex
(17:25):
trafficking or drug addiction.
It's just a staggering numberto think of the generation of
kids that we are losing in thesystem, right.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
From what I'm hearing in form of written stats, it
sounds, beth, like you made itvery clear it's too easy for
foster parents to say, oh, we'removing a kid.
Is it more common, at least inyour community, to see foster
parents just approach it withthe same mentality as you of
like we're going to doeverything we can to give this
child the support and love thatthey need, whether they're here
for two months, two years orwhatever.
That is the support and lovethat they need, whether they're
(18:00):
here for two months, two yearsor whatever that is.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
The foster parents that I meet in these support
groups that I attend.
They're that way and they sharebest practices.
Every time We'll name offexamples of what's happening in
our home and somebody has eitherto talk to us about what power
struggles are.
I really dove into powerstruggles with the teenager that
we had with Dr Green.
(18:25):
He's got great videos out thereto watch, but really, yeah,
it's true, it's just very easy.
But the ones that come to theseresource groups, support group
things, I don't see thathappening A lot, I wouldn't say
a lot.
In these foster groups thereare people that are older, and
(18:47):
I'm talking like retirement age,where if you're placed with a
younger child, it could be veryhard to keep up with the demands
and that could be a potentialreason that that child is moved
again because they were justwired.
I mean the situation orcircumstances.
It's like that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So the two decision makers is the parents is I don't
want that kid anymore right?
Or the welfare system, sayingyou know this is not the right
home, or the child In yourexperience.
Where does this?
Which way does it lean?
Is it mostly parents quitting?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
And you think, in terms of the way we train and
the way we fund the system, doyou think we are truly preparing
parents for the long term?
To stick this one out no, Trulypreparing a foster parent.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I mean you would have to have training for a Rolodex
of things and the basics aretouched, but they're not
preparing you for when thatchild finally opens up and tells
you about something that wasjust devastating and terrible
and then has behaviors two dayslater and you don't know how to
handle it.
And then they'll say, all right, I can't do this, I'm not the
(20:03):
one for the kid.
So it's the lack of training inthat arena to push that child
where they think I'm doing agood thing, maybe by putting
them somewhere else where theymight have somebody that can
help them.
I think that would be a waysomeone would sell that to
themselves to move a child on bynot being able to help them.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Beth, again from your own personal experience, I'm
assuming most parents that getinto doing this they do it for
the right intention.
They may not be preparedmentally and emotionally for
what they're getting into.
They may not be getting thetraining and the support that
they need to do a good job andmaybe they're doing it for the
money, I guess.
Where do you think the systemneeds to change?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
That's a great question and one I don't know.
The system is huge and thereare many moving pieces and a
child can have five differentcaseworkers.
A child can have all thesethings, so I really don't know
where it's broken down.
We just know that it's brokenand kids are being moved all
over the place and left and wejust need more people in the
(21:15):
community that can help them,more training, more therapists
involved, and it's a great.
It's a great start.
We took our kids every weeklike church to therapy at the
Bowen Center.
Getting more therapistsinvolved is a great start.
We took our kids every weeklike church to therapy at the
Bowen Center.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
You can get referrals for just about anything that
you need help with in that arena, as we switch this to kind of
looking at it from the parentwho decides to quit.
I know you talked about thegrieving part when a kid is
being reunited with their family.
I would assume, although thereis some grieving, that's the
ideal scenario, right?
That is ultimately what youwant to see happen, is the mom
(21:56):
and dad and the child come backtogether.
On the flip side of it, you'vegot people quitting because lack
of resources, they don't getpaid enough, they are assigned
kids with very little discussionor maybe a little opportunity
to weigh in and the stress, theangst not being prepared to deal
(22:20):
with.
I mean these kids are beingbounced around.
I have to assume they have beenmoved from school to school.
I'm assuming they're behind ontheir educational journey.
I'm assuming they probably havesome social and many issues.
So these parents don't knowwhat they're getting and they
probably are struggling withthat.
(22:40):
Is there something that youhave learned in your time that
you can share with somebody whois thinking about this?
That can be uplifting, that canreally like where did you find
the joy?
You've been doing it for awhile.
You must have gotten a lot ofjoy out of this, or some joy joy
(23:06):
.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Oh yeah, um, our seven-year-old.
She came to us when she wasfive but she had like zero
reading level, zero idea of likethe, the things like that.
So like we've caught her up,she's reading at a second grade
level and her math is just asgood.
She's going to be our littleengineer.
Creativity is out of it's, offthe charts.
She, she's just a she's a great, happy little kid because we
worked every day at reading mathand got flashcards.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So if you, if you were making a pitch, if you were
doing sales and your, your jobwas to recruit foster parents,
what would your pitch be?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Gosh, that's such a good pitch because I talk about
it all the time and I'm tryingto recruit more helpers.
Just like me, there are so manykids that need help and they're
good kids and they'll treat yougreat and they'll love you and
just like anything else, it'shard, but you can do hard things
and the impact that you leaveon a child is unforgettable.
(24:02):
So, yes, it's hard, but you cando hard things and it's worth
it, because no one deserves tohave a life like that.
Everybody should have a chance.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
What is the biggest misconception that you think
people have about foster kids?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
That they're just balls of trouble.
They absolutely are not.
They have been misplaced andunloved and been taught that
their worth isn't really much.
So that's the difference whereyou make in their lives.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
And you think that misconception comes from where?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
foster parents that quit.
You're more likely to hear thehorror stories of these foster
kids than you are successstories, and that's just the
nature of any bad experience.
But my good experiencesoutweigh all the bad, and more
people should see it that way.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You talked about how you got kind of introduced to
the system through your friendand I keep trying to picture
this in my head Somebody that'snever really have any clear idea
what foster parents is like andthey're listening to the
podcast.
I'm not doing this right.
(25:26):
I'm going to be poorly trained.
I am potentially, no matter howstrong emotionally I feel about
it, I may run out of oxygen.
I may run out of passion.
It may get sucked completelyout of me.
There has to be something thatwe can do to support parents
better, and I recognize we don'ttalk about how much money it
costs to raise these kids orhave these kids with you and how
(25:47):
much the additional trainingwould cost or how much it would
be meaningful, but it seems likethat's where we have to start
right.
We have to come up with abetter way to support parents
and a better way to keep them,better way to train them, better
way to compensate them.
I agree?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Sure, if you're.
If you think you're going to doit for the money, think again,
because that's that'll pay yourgrocery bill for these kids.
You're not like the money thingit should be.
I don't even want to considerthat when I'm thinking about
taking care of a child, you'retaking care of a child Cause
you're.
Whatever personal needs are.
Mine was I want to make surethat I'm helping my community
(26:27):
and these kids.
That didn't have a choice.
It's the why for the people.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
But money has to be a factor, right?
I mean, you really are raisingkids.
It costs thousands and tens ofthousands of dollars to raise a
child in America.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Mm-hmm, you can't like you.
You get certain per diems perday and it's enough to cover
like groceries and schoolsupplies, like you're not.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
But how does that?
How does that like, how is thatjust like, how is that figured
out?
Like, how do they decide itonly costs the per diem to raise
a child?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I have no idea how that's figured out, but they'll
change it Tier one, tier two,tier three and it's based off of
their behavior.
So if they're a harder kid,you'll get paid more.
I don't know how they came upwith that scale.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I don't know either, but why would be a tougher kid
more expensive?
They eat more, or do they what?
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Right, exactly so a behavior therapeutic.
You're getting paid becauseyou're going to have to be a
therapeutic home.
I have no like.
That's the way I understand it.
The per diem rates are lookedat every like six months to make
sure that we're on the righttier.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I don't think it should be an opportunity for
people to make money about beingfoster kids, but it should
reflect what it would cost toraise a normal child in America.
Just because you're a fosterkid doesn't mean you deserve
less in terms of resources.
Now you're on a per diem.
(28:07):
When someone else gets to dowhat other things children do
and I'm sure that parents thathave gone into it with the right
intention, with the rightpassion, and they got worn down
then money becomes one morething they got to worry about.
So they got to worry about thestress, they got to worry about
all the pressure and anxiety,and now they've got to worry
(28:30):
about money on top of it.
It seems the system will try toalleviate some of those issues,
and one of them would be bettertraining, better resources,
better support and probably fundthese kids, so these kids can
have fun and stay a little bitlonger.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I agree I had asked for a support group because I
was struggling with letting my18-year-old go like go out on
her own and help her and do theright thing so I know she can be
a successful young adult theymet me with.
There is no support group forthat, but you can be the lead of
(29:10):
it.
So I'm not trying to do that, Iam trying to find it I'm not
trying to lead one and she saidthat there would probably be so
many people that would join you.
Well, you're probably rightyeah.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
So you're asking for a support group, and their
answer is support yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, you can create a support group and invite
people to it.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
I don't know.
On the previous podcast wecalled them the invisible kids.
Right, because as a societythey're not on our radar and
they weren't on mine.
It's.
It's.
It's a really difficult just toeven picture.
You know, I use an earlierquote about these kids being
moved and all their stuff arepacked into trash bags.
(29:50):
You know they put it into atrash bag and they carry the
trash bag and they go from hometo home it's true, every child
I've had has shown up with ablack or a white trash bag.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
We teach them some dignity when it's transition
time and we use boxes and tapeso that they don't have to go
through that.
But yeah, there's.
I think I saw a program wherethere is a charity out there
that's doing foster care bagswhere foster kids can have a
giant duffel full withtoiletries and things.
(30:24):
But I don't know how that works.
I'd love to see more thingslike that.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I don't know either.
There are 400 to 500,000 fosterkids.
We spent $30 billion on thesystem.
I just highly doubt these kidsare really seeing the benefit of
a $30 billion.
Yeah, yeah, just highly doubtthese kids are really seeing the
benefit of a 30 billion dollars.
(30:49):
Yeah, yeah, all right.
So who wants to wrap this up onan uplifting note?
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Beth, you want to do it, I'm happy.
Yeah, I am absolutely happy to.
I talk about all these things,like, like we're doing right now
.
We talk about the difficultthings and we are like, yes, yes
, yes, but I'm telling you, thehardest part of my life is also
the best part of it, like I cannever forget these kids and how
we've helped them and the lovethat we receive from them by
(31:13):
showing them that we care.
That will carry you throughlife.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You and Kristen have kind of converted me here and we
will have one more.
You and Kristen have kind ofconverted me here and we will
have one more.
Hopefully we will have a couplemore foster parents and maybe
even a couple of kids that grewup in the foster care system to
talk about the experienceshopefully the good experiences
and the positive experiences,and then we'll talk about the
(31:39):
ROS program, but I thinkultimately it's about parents
program, but I think ultimatelyit's about parents.
It's about finding competentparents and it's about a system
that changes its priorities toreunification, to supporting
parents, training parents andgiving them the tools and the
resources that they need so theycan be effective at it.
I truly appreciate your timetoday.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Likewise, and thank you for helping me spread
awareness and try to get morepeople to help the communities.
The communities need helpers.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah, thank you so much, beth.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Thanks for listening to Make the Leap.
Be sure to visit our site,rosspodcastcom or the podcast
platform of your choice tolisten to past episodes as well
as subscribe, so you never missa future episode.
We hope you join us two weeksfrom now for our next episode as
we learn more about the RossFoster Care Program.
See you then.
Thank you.
I'm Brad Constance here withGeorge Grayup.
George, what is our topic fortoday?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Thank you, brad.
Today's episode is a follow-upon a previous podcast that we
did regarding foster care andfoster children.
The follow-up today deals moreor less with the lack of
available homes for fosterchildren.
Majority of children in fostercare come from environments of
abuse and neglect, typicallycreated by biological parents
(00:55):
who have fallen victim to drugaddiction, prison or death.
The need for foster parents aregreater than ever.
The US Department of Health andHuman Services found the number
of children entering fostercare grew for five consecutive
years.
States are increasinglyexperiencing an acute shortage
of competent foster parents andscramble to find places for the
(01:17):
thousands uprooted from theirhomes.
This national crisis in thesearch for foster parents stems
from inadequate training andlack of support to drive
approximately half of all fosterparents to quit fostering
children after their first year.
As an example, many statescontinue to struggle with
finding enough parents.
Georgia and Tennessee childwelfare workers fight to find
(01:39):
homes for the increasing numberof children in care.
The increasing number ofchildren in care.
In Texas, lack of fosterparents result in some children
from foster care sleeping inchild welfare offices.
In Indiana, where the number ofchildren being placed into
foster care has reached anall-time high, the state is
scrambling to find more fosterparents to care for the
increased number of childrenneeding a home On the West Coast
(02:01):
.
California faces the samechallenge, as the shortage of
foster parents has grown torecord numbers.
The number of licensed fosterhomes dropped last year in more
than half of the states, and insome states the drop was
profound.
For example, south Carolinalost more than 61% of its
available foster homes last year.
Meanwhile, more childrencontinue to enter the child
(02:23):
welfare system.
Other areas of the nation facethe challenge of both recruiting
foster parents and of retention, or the keeping of strong
foster parents.
The turnover rate for fosterparents ranges from 30% to 50%.
Thus, the 30% to 50% of fosterparents make a decision to no
longer be a foster parent homefor children in need.
(02:44):
As a result, with the increasein children in foster care
paired with the decrease ofnumber of foster parents, the
end result is simply that thereare not enough homes for
children in need to be placed in, or a child is moved from one
home to another, and so forthand so forth.
So I want to use an examplebefore we begin our conversation
today.
(03:04):
This example really is atestimonial by a foster kid who
has aged out of the system.
I'm going to quote it verbatim.
I was probably like 13 yearsold and we spent hours upon
hours inside the actualChildren's Services Agency
(03:25):
intellectual children's servicesagency.
So in that lobby you see abunch of different kids with a
bunch of trash bags just sittingthere and waiting and waiting.
Then you get out of school andit's like, oh no, you can't go
back there.
You have some caseworker thereto pick you up and you have to
go to the agency.
They have completely packed upall your things in trash bags.
You don't know what they left,what they missed, what they
decided to disregard or discard,and that in itself was very
(03:48):
demeaning.
You lose your sense of autonomy, you lose your humanity, you
feel like you don't have anycontrol over your life.
End of the quote.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Thanks, george.
Now it's time to introduce ourguest.
Kristen normally does this, butshe's unable to join us today,
so I get to take over.
Today, we're joined by BethDockhenschen.
Beth is an advisor on Ross'sCareer Services team.
She helps our students throughexternship and post-graduation
employment.
Beth lives in Fort Wayne,indiana, and has a passion for
extending a helping hand toanyone in need.
Her caring heart called her tobecome a foster parent many
(04:20):
years ago, where she hosted atherapeutic home for children
with special needs.
After meeting her now wife,alexis, in 2015, beth took a
break from fostering, but in2021, the two decided to open
their home to children onceagain.
When she's not at work, bethloves to enjoy her free time by
playing pickleball, goingfishing, taking her two dogs for
car rides and exploring withher wife.
A true art enthusiast at heart,she finds peace in painting and
(04:43):
taking photos of her three cats.
You can always find her readyto visit with loved ones too.
She offers an infectious laugh,quick wit, a listening ear and
a pure heart filled with lovefor those around her.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Beth, thank you so much for joining us today.
So as we begin, I'd like you tomaybe take a few minutes talk
about your background, yourexperience and your journey into
being a foster parent.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Of course and thank you so much for having me on
today my journey as a fosterparent.
In high school, my best friendwas in foster system for a year
or more, so that's when I knew Ihad to grow up and be a helper.
In 2015 is when I first startedas a special needs foster home.
I put it back down in 2019 andpicked it back up in 2021.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So talk through, I guess from my end of it, talk
through how you get involved.
I guess it came on your radarthrough your friend, but how did
you get involved?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
I decided that my community contribution it just
couldn't be through my work.
I needed more than that and Ikept searching and searching for
more ways that I can helpimpact on a large scale and
nothing was coming.
And then foster care did mybest friend.
She works for DCS and she isthe licensure person, so the
(06:00):
person that comes to your houseand goes over how to become a
foster parent.
You go through all the trainingclasses CPR and bloodborne
pathogens and such to become alicensed home, and that's how I
started.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So, before you get that phase where they try to
qualify or make sure that youcan be a foster parent, what are
the initial steps that you tookto kind of research it, look
into it, get comfortable with it.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I Google a lot of things like what is foster care
and why would I want to do that,and what thoughts are going
through parents' head as theyhave someone's child living in
your home, how are you going toadapt to their culture, and
those kinds of things.
So I started searching fromthere.
I did all my homework and foundthat it just matches my heart
(06:50):
and that's why I decided to doit.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
So did you see any like data about how many people
quit the amount of turnover, anddid that cause you to pause at
all?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I know the amount of turnover and right now I'm going
through it, but I'm not goingto quit and I understand why
people turn over.
We are about to reunify ourdaughter that we've had for two
years now and it's verydifficult.
So, yes, I'm aware of all thehard things and for me it was
just letting those hard thingsgo so that I can help at least
(07:25):
one.
And then one turned into eight.
That's how many we've had sofar.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You've had eight foster kids, so talk through
that.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, so my special needs were the hard to love, but
in my heart it's just you haveto know where to look for things
on the Internet to be able tocut through it sometimes and
it's very difficult.
A lot of perseverance, a lot oftalking with the GAL, a
(07:57):
guardian at Lytton or yourcaseworker If they're good, they
will definitely find supportgroups for you and help you with
your struggle.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
So was your first foster kid, a kid with
disabilities or special needs.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah, my first foster son was 18, and he was a sex
offender.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
That's a huge, I don't know what the word to call
it.
You're diving in a deep end onday one.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
You found the bit right.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Did you have a choice , beth, or they assigned to you,
and it is what it is.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Well, they'll call you and I'm not the type that
wants to listen to theirbehaviors or this, or they have
this about them.
That all doesn't matter.
It's a child in need and that'swhy you signed up for it.
So I took the phone call andsaid come on, let's go.
A loving home and somestability and some structure
(08:52):
will be able to help this person.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I got into this conversation because of Kristen.
This was never on my radar.
Kristen puts it on my radar andon our third episode about
foster kids, we will talk alittle bit about Ross and what
Ross is trying to do.
So I am learning as I go.
Process is kids getting movedso many times, and I'm going to
(09:19):
give you a couple of examples ina minute.
And then the second is the highturnover.
Parents do not stick around.
There's just not enough homes.
Kids are sleeping in welfareoffices, Some of them are
sleeping in hotels, or some ofthem are told to stay in the
hospital longer, a week or twolonger, until they find them a
home when they are not feelingwell or injured.
So I want to try to encourageand promote individuals who are
(09:43):
thinking about being a fosterparent.
So if somebody listens to hereand listen to Beth and says,
yeah, my first child was aspecial need kids with your
eight foster kids, is theresomething you can share that
balances sometimes the challengeyou had to go through with your
first foster kid?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
The training that's involved, you do get like you
are prepared for the topics thatare brought up.
You're not necessarily preparedfor the behavior that happens
in your home, but that trainingwill give you a little push to
start that conversation with thechild and help them.
You're never left alone.
(10:27):
You never feel on your own withthe agencies behind you.
You always can call them.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And then, as you went to your second and third, what
was those kids like?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
second and third, what was those kids like?
So those kids we had two monthsthey were under.
They were five, seven and nine,and one of them was a special
needs child.
Their parents were in theprocess of rehabilitating their
lives from drugs.
(10:59):
So those two months that we hadthem, it was just getting them
to school, new routines andfinding out the things that they
love to do and keeping themengaged with reading and
activities so they stay focusedwith us.
They keep kids busy.
It's a good thing.
They'll love you and they lovethat you care about their
(11:21):
interests and they'll be great.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Were they moved along the way, or were you their
first foster parent?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
I was their second foster home.
Mom was having some troublewith drug abuse but she did
rehabilitate her life and shegot her three boys back.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
What's the next one?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
So I'll tell you about the most recent.
It's most relevant.
I had a child.
They're two of eight, so I havetwo siblings of eight.
Their youngest brother has beenplaced 18 times in its behaviors
that these foster parentsfighting in school, foster
parents fighting in school,drugs at home, sneaking things
(12:03):
in those foster parents.
They have an out and if they'renot ready to bring all that on
then they can move somebodyagain and that's why you see a
lot of foster kids from home tohome.
I don't believe that we'rereally trained that deep into
how to help a child that is so,just so angry about what life
(12:25):
has handed to him.
Our foster daughter has been inseven different homes and she's
different and she would tell usabout how one person left her
at McDonald's after a BowenCenter therapy because they just
didn't like her, and one saidthat she wasn't a good fit for
(12:47):
their home and moved her thenext week.
The others we really didn'ttalk about much because I could
tell it was a trigger for her.
So we just kind of dismissed itand let her know that we are
going to be a forever fixture inher life.
Regardless of what home she's inor collaborative care, she can
always reach out.
(13:07):
Her little sister is seven andshe's being reunited with her
father next week, the 19th.
We've had her for two years nowand that's the hard part.
This is where you're talkingabout.
Why do foster parents not do itagain?
It's a grieving process rightnow for my wife and I.
(13:29):
We've loved this child andwe've brought her from where she
was to where she is now, whichis a significant difference in
all ways of her life, sociallyand mentally and it's hard it's
just hard to not have thatcontrol anymore to make sure she
stays safe.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
So, beth, I am going to come to the stress and the
angst that the parents gothrough and when they wake up
one day and say I'm not doingthis anymore.
But before that, I want tocontinue to talk about kids
being moved from home to home.
It's a process I can't get ahandle on.
(14:07):
I mean, we spend $30 billion onthe entire system, so to speak,
and the system seems to bebroken.
As I was preparing for today,on Sunday I read this
testimonial and I'm going tosummarize it.
It's different than the one Iused at the beginning.
This is a gentleman who, agedout of the system, still uses
(14:28):
the last name of the woman thatadopted him in grade school but
then gave him back and turnedhim back to the system.
His journey from when he wasthree until he turned 14, he
bounced to 80 different fosterhomes.
When he turned 18, he foundhimself homeless and resorting
to really a life of crime forlack of option.
(14:51):
At 20, he now has a home.
His home, unfortunately, is aprison in Kansas.
He says I had plans for thefuture and I kind of ruined it.
This is a quote from him, as heis in prison, serving eight year
sentence.
But how could I be a good kidwith all the horrible things
(15:14):
happening?
And it just and as I kind oflooked at it, it really seems
that this is he's not theexception that these kids on
average are moved 10 to 12 times.
On average, some are movedhundreds of times.
(15:34):
You know there's 23,000 kidsthat come out of the system
every year, kids that come outof the system every year, and
many of them have been movedmultiple times and over.
More of them go to prison thanactually go to college.
What is the driver behind themovement?
Like what?
What is the upside?
I guess that makes thedecisions from the welfare team
(15:57):
to move these kids from home tohome versus reunification.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
That's a great question.
I couldn't answer whatsituation or circumstance that
their parents are in so theycouldn't go back home.
I don't understand.
Like I get the foster kid partwhere they've probably been
taught all their life theirworth is nothing and the only
control they have is by aself-sabotage, if you will, and
(16:24):
moving from house to house wherethey'll tell their foster
parent they hate them and theydon't want to live there.
By being shown some structure,by being shown love and
affections, they don't.
They're not used to that.
Um, we've experienced that thesame Foster parents have an
option.
All they have to do is write atwo-week notice and they don't
(16:45):
have to work with their fosterplacement anymore.
And I think that's just tooeasy for a lot of families to do
and I think that there shouldbe more behind that in some
professional therapist orsomeone.
Look at those dynamics beforethey're moved again, because
it's as simple as a two weeknotice.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You know, one of the really shocking statistics is
again, as I was getting readyfor today 4,000 foster kids
every year from the 23,000 thatage out end up homeless after
leaving the system, and many ofthem end up in crime, sex
(17:25):
trafficking or drug addiction.
It's just a staggering numberto think of the generation of
kids that we are losing in thesystem, right.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
From what I'm hearing in form of written stats, it
sounds, beth, like you made itvery clear it's too easy for
foster parents to say, oh, we'removing a kid.
Is it more common, at least inyour community, to see foster
parents just approach it withthe same mentality as you of
like we're going to doeverything we can to give this
child the support and love thatthey need, whether they're here
for two months, two years orwhatever.
That is the support and lovethat they need, whether they're
(18:00):
here for two months, two yearsor whatever that is.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
The foster parents that I meet in these support
groups that I attend.
They're that way and they sharebest practices.
Every time We'll name offexamples of what's happening in
our home and somebody has eitherto talk to us about what power
struggles are.
I really dove into powerstruggles with the teenager that
we had with Dr Green.
(18:25):
He's got great videos out thereto watch, but really, yeah,
it's true, it's just very easy.
But the ones that come to theseresource groups, support group
things, I don't see thathappening A lot, I wouldn't say
a lot.
In these foster groups thereare people that are older, and
(18:47):
I'm talking like retirement age,where if you're placed with a
younger child, it could be veryhard to keep up with the demands
and that could be a potentialreason that that child is moved
again because they were justwired.
I mean the situation orcircumstances.
It's like that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So the two decision makers is the parents is I don't
want that kid anymore right?
Or the welfare system, sayingyou know this is not the right
home, or the child In yourexperience.
Where does this?
Which way does it lean?
Is it mostly parents quitting?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
And you think, in terms of the way we train and
the way we fund the system, doyou think we are truly preparing
parents for the long term?
To stick this one out no, Trulypreparing a foster parent.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I mean you would have to have training for a Rolodex
of things and the basics aretouched, but they're not
preparing you for when thatchild finally opens up and tells
you about something that wasjust devastating and terrible
and then has behaviors two dayslater and you don't know how to
handle it.
And then they'll say, all right, I can't do this, I'm not the
(20:03):
one for the kid.
So it's the lack of training inthat arena to push that child
where they think I'm doing agood thing, maybe by putting
them somewhere else where theymight have somebody that can
help them.
I think that would be a waysomeone would sell that to
themselves to move a child on bynot being able to help them.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Beth, again from your own personal experience, I'm
assuming most parents that getinto doing this they do it for
the right intention.
They may not be preparedmentally and emotionally for
what they're getting into.
They may not be getting thetraining and the support that
they need to do a good job andmaybe they're doing it for the
money, I guess.
Where do you think the systemneeds to change?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
That's a great question and one I don't know.
The system is huge and thereare many moving pieces and a
child can have five differentcaseworkers.
A child can have all thesethings, so I really don't know
where it's broken down.
We just know that it's brokenand kids are being moved all
over the place and left and wejust need more people in the
(21:15):
community that can help them,more training, more therapists
involved, and it's a great.
It's a great start.
We took our kids every weeklike church to therapy at the
Bowen Center.
Getting more therapistsinvolved is a great start.
We took our kids every weeklike church to therapy at the
Bowen Center.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
You can get referrals for just about anything that
you need help with in that arena, as we switch this to kind of
looking at it from the parentwho decides to quit.
I know you talked about thegrieving part when a kid is
being reunited with their family.
I would assume, although thereis some grieving, that's the
ideal scenario, right?
That is ultimately what youwant to see happen, is the mom
(21:56):
and dad and the child come backtogether.
On the flip side of it, you'vegot people quitting because lack
of resources, they don't getpaid enough, they are assigned
kids with very little discussionor maybe a little opportunity
to weigh in and the stress, theangst not being prepared to deal
(22:20):
with.
I mean these kids are beingbounced around.
I have to assume they have beenmoved from school to school.
I'm assuming they're behind ontheir educational journey.
I'm assuming they probably havesome social and many issues.
So these parents don't knowwhat they're getting and they
probably are struggling withthat.
(22:40):
Is there something that youhave learned in your time that
you can share with somebody whois thinking about this?
That can be uplifting, that canreally like where did you find
the joy?
You've been doing it for awhile.
You must have gotten a lot ofjoy out of this, or some joy joy
(23:06):
.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Oh yeah, um, our seven-year-old.
She came to us when she wasfive but she had like zero
reading level, zero idea of likethe, the things like that.
So like we've caught her up,she's reading at a second grade
level and her math is just asgood.
She's going to be our littleengineer.
Creativity is out of it's, offthe charts.
She, she's just a she's a great, happy little kid because we
worked every day at reading mathand got flashcards.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So if you, if you were making a pitch, if you were
doing sales and your, your jobwas to recruit foster parents,
what would your pitch be?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Gosh, that's such a good pitch because I talk about
it all the time and I'm tryingto recruit more helpers.
Just like me, there are so manykids that need help and they're
good kids and they'll treat yougreat and they'll love you and
just like anything else, it'shard, but you can do hard things
and the impact that you leaveon a child is unforgettable.
(24:02):
So, yes, it's hard, but you cando hard things and it's worth
it, because no one deserves tohave a life like that.
Everybody should have a chance.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
What is the biggest misconception that you think
people have about foster kids?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
That they're just balls of trouble.
They absolutely are not.
They have been misplaced andunloved and been taught that
their worth isn't really much.
So that's the difference whereyou make in their lives.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
And you think that misconception comes from where?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
foster parents that quit.
You're more likely to hear thehorror stories of these foster
kids than you are successstories, and that's just the
nature of any bad experience.
But my good experiencesoutweigh all the bad, and more
people should see it that way.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You talked about how you got kind of introduced to
the system through your friendand I keep trying to picture
this in my head Somebody that'snever really have any clear idea
what foster parents is like andthey're listening to the
podcast.
I'm not doing this right.
(25:26):
I'm going to be poorly trained.
I am potentially, no matter howstrong emotionally I feel about
it, I may run out of oxygen.
I may run out of passion.
It may get sucked completelyout of me.
There has to be something thatwe can do to support parents
better, and I recognize we don'ttalk about how much money it
costs to raise these kids orhave these kids with you and how
(25:47):
much the additional trainingwould cost or how much it would
be meaningful, but it seems likethat's where we have to start
right.
We have to come up with abetter way to support parents
and a better way to keep them,better way to train them, better
way to compensate them.
I agree?
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Sure, if you're.
If you think you're going to doit for the money, think again,
because that's that'll pay yourgrocery bill for these kids.
You're not like the money thingit should be.
I don't even want to considerthat when I'm thinking about
taking care of a child, you'retaking care of a child Cause
you're.
Whatever personal needs are.
Mine was I want to make surethat I'm helping my community
(26:27):
and these kids.
That didn't have a choice.
It's the why for the people.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
But money has to be a factor, right?
I mean, you really are raisingkids.
It costs thousands and tens ofthousands of dollars to raise a
child in America.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Mm-hmm, you can't like you.
You get certain per diems perday and it's enough to cover
like groceries and schoolsupplies, like you're not.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
But how does that?
How does that like, how is thatjust like, how is that figured
out?
Like, how do they decide itonly costs the per diem to raise
a child?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I have no idea how that's figured out, but they'll
change it Tier one, tier two,tier three and it's based off of
their behavior.
So if they're a harder kid,you'll get paid more.
I don't know how they came upwith that scale.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I don't know either, but why would be a tougher kid
more expensive?
They eat more, or do they what?
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Right, exactly so a behavior therapeutic.
You're getting paid becauseyou're going to have to be a
therapeutic home.
I have no like.
That's the way I understand it.
The per diem rates are lookedat every like six months to make
sure that we're on the righttier.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I don't think it should be an opportunity for
people to make money about beingfoster kids, but it should
reflect what it would cost toraise a normal child in America.
Just because you're a fosterkid doesn't mean you deserve
less in terms of resources.
Now you're on a per diem.
(28:07):
When someone else gets to dowhat other things children do
and I'm sure that parents thathave gone into it with the right
intention, with the rightpassion, and they got worn down
then money becomes one morething they got to worry about.
So they got to worry about thestress, they got to worry about
all the pressure and anxiety,and now they've got to worry
(28:30):
about money on top of it.
It seems the system will try toalleviate some of those issues,
and one of them would be bettertraining, better resources,
better support and probably fundthese kids, so these kids can
have fun and stay a little bitlonger.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I agree I had asked for a support group because I
was struggling with letting my18-year-old go like go out on
her own and help her and do theright thing so I know she can be
a successful young adult theymet me with.
There is no support group forthat, but you can be the lead of
(29:10):
it.
So I'm not trying to do that, Iam trying to find it I'm not
trying to lead one and she saidthat there would probably be so
many people that would join you.
Well, you're probably rightyeah.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
So you're asking for a support group, and their
answer is support yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, you can create a support group and invite
people to it.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
I don't know.
On the previous podcast wecalled them the invisible kids.
Right, because as a societythey're not on our radar and
they weren't on mine.
It's.
It's.
It's a really difficult just toeven picture.
You know, I use an earlierquote about these kids being
moved and all their stuff arepacked into trash bags.
(29:50):
You know they put it into atrash bag and they carry the
trash bag and they go from hometo home it's true, every child
I've had has shown up with ablack or a white trash bag.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
We teach them some dignity when it's transition
time and we use boxes and tapeso that they don't have to go
through that.
But yeah, there's.
I think I saw a program wherethere is a charity out there
that's doing foster care bagswhere foster kids can have a
giant duffel full withtoiletries and things.
(30:24):
But I don't know how that works.
I'd love to see more thingslike that.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I don't know either.
There are 400 to 500,000 fosterkids.
We spent $30 billion on thesystem.
I just highly doubt these kidsare really seeing the benefit of
a $30 billion.
Yeah, yeah, just highly doubtthese kids are really seeing the
benefit of a 30 billion dollars.
(30:49):
Yeah, yeah, all right.
So who wants to wrap this up onan uplifting note?
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Beth, you want to do it, I'm happy.
Yeah, I am absolutely happy to.
I talk about all these things,like, like we're doing right now
.
We talk about the difficultthings and we are like, yes, yes
, yes, but I'm telling you, thehardest part of my life is also
the best part of it, like I cannever forget these kids and how
we've helped them and the lovethat we receive from them by
(31:13):
showing them that we care.
That will carry you throughlife.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You and Kristen have kind of converted me here and we
will have one more.
You and Kristen have kind ofconverted me here and we will
have one more.
Hopefully we will have a couplemore foster parents and maybe
even a couple of kids that grewup in the foster care system to
talk about the experienceshopefully the good experiences
and the positive experiences,and then we'll talk about the
(31:39):
ROS program, but I thinkultimately it's about parents
program, but I think ultimatelyit's about parents.
It's about finding competentparents and it's about a system
that changes its priorities toreunification, to supporting
parents, training parents andgiving them the tools and the
resources that they need so theycan be effective at it.
I truly appreciate your timetoday.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Likewise, and thank you for helping me spread
awareness and try to get morepeople to help the communities.
The communities need helpers.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah, thank you so much, beth.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Thanks for listening to Make the Leap.
Be sure to visit our site,rosspodcastcom or the podcast
platform of your choice tolisten to past episodes as well
as subscribe, so you never missa future episode.
We hope you join us two weeksfrom now for our next episode as
we learn more about the RossFoster Care Program.
See you then.
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